**Author's Note: _
Alright, sort of a long note here, but it's been a while and there's a lot to be said this time around.
DCBB, as a whole, was not like I was expecting, especially so in the last month or two and when it came to posting the fic.
There were a lot of problems:
My date had to change due to my first artist being incapable of reading what being an "artist" meant, and being "unable" (by this, I just mean that she was ignoring my words and being incompetent) to read my emails when I told her about "due dates" and "posting schedules". Also, my date changed because Google Docs decided to glitch weirdly. I was unable to change anything, from the comments made by other Google users to the text document itself, because I "did not have permission" to do so. Which is really unusual, considering I'm the doc's owner and creator. The sadistic irony is that Google would let other people write and do stuff on it except me. Like- fuck you, man.
Another problem I had was with a certain beta I had help me out with "correcting" things. I don't know why, but for some reason, this beta decided that things were wrong when they really weren't. By this, I mean that she changed things such as "Dean's mind painted Castiel onto his eyelids" into "Castiel came into his mind's eye". Like, I don't think I have to explain what kind of a clusterfuck that was. So, in short, she botched a lot of crap and also pissed me off... Royally.
Another issue that I encountered, including nearly losing my whole entire fic, was glitches/technology problems in general. I don't know why electronics had it out for me or something, but I ran into a lot of setbacks due to failing saves, lost saves, missing files, corrupt files, etc. I must have pissed off the ghost of Steve Jobs or something, I don't know, but everything that plugged up into a wall turned against me.
So, I guess that by that quick little summary of all of the struggles I had with DCBB, I can go ahead and go to the conclusion that "In Between the Dotted Lines" WILL NOT be posted on here, because I'm legitimately done and tired with that fucking thing. Like, I wish I could delete it, truth be told, but I can't, or at least, I can't right now. So, sorry if I've disappointed you guys with the fact that you were expecting to read it, or that you are pissed that I sort of made you wait for nothing- but I'm not putting that fucking thing on here.
I'm not changing my mind, either.
As for this fic, though, there's only one more chapter left after this one, which is the epilogue. I also made this chapter WAY longer, so it's not just the author's note that is lengthy, so be happy. Either way, there was a lot that did need to happen in this "time" anyways, and I say this because the epilogue will just be full of time skips and whatnot. Other than that, this is sort of the last major installment into the fic, and it should tie up most loose ends (other than a few things that, which could be or are of lesser importance, can be left out for the epilogue or something, I guess). So, in short, I made this longer and stuff because of a wait, and to try and finish things up nicely. The epilogue is really just a polishing on this, I suppose.
So, I'm happy to say that there's one more update for this fic, and then we're done! Yay!
I do have some future plans and stuff, which includes the strong possibility of a Sterek fic and maybe some one-shots for them and Dean and Cas (nothing too serious at the moment, though, I need a break after DCBB, honestly). Other than the big/medium Sterek fic though, I plan on laying low for a while, and I even intend on writing all of the Sterek fic before I publish it, too, because updating is far too much of a pain. Just expect short, easy things for maybe a month more or so, or at least, until I get off for summer (this semester is going to be hard with ACT's and college stuff getting crammed down my throat), that way it's less stress on me and I can recharge after the hell I went through because of DCBB. *shivers*
Anyways, I'm back now, and I've tried making up for all that lost time with a huge ass, heavy update. Seriously- there's like... a lot of stuff going on.
Besides, I wanted to tie up everything nicely for the epilogue. For that, expect randomness, mostly- and lots and lots of tooth-rotting fluff, I guess. XD
Now, back to this chapter. I tried to tie up everything as best as could for the majority of the fic. I'm sorry that I didn't really focus on Sabriel all that much, but they're a background ship in this, and I didn't want to randomly change to Sam or Gabe's POV (we haven't had it before this) just for some random smut. I tried to mollify you guys with having Gabe explain the situation as well as he could to his mate's brother without grossing him out, so... yeah?
As for Zachariah and GS, that is also taken care of as well. Don't worry about it. I'm not evil enough to send Dean back to that hell hole. But, I am evil enough to make it hella hard to get free, so I somewhat stand corrected. However, just expect a lot of drama, seriously, but I'm mostly all bark but no bite. (Get it? Because it's a werewolf- ... Yeah, you get it... I'll shut up now.)
Oh, and Meg and Ruby return, and Ruby can speak! How adorable! Not only that, expect A LOT of Ruby feels in this chapter. No joke here. 100% legit shit, right here. (:
Dean's powers are truly put to the test as he and Cas explore his memories of what happened inside of GS- but there's a catch, because someone else's past may come into the spotlight as well. :o
Expect Meg, Gabe, and Dean to become like, pack moms. I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that it's gonna happen. (Haha, Doggie Daycare.) Many pack feels will be felt?
Last but not least, there's smut. Need I say more? (;
To add onto this, Dean and Cas act like hormonal teenagers, basically. I couldn't help myself. XD
They're really bipolar in some parts too, so I'd thought I'd warn you of that- and of Cas' wolf being a little shit, per my status quo in this installment.
Thank you for reading my slight rant and update! Have a nice day, and I hope you find good fan fic on your OTP(s)!
Enjoy!~
(Day 1)
Dean wakes up to Cas nuzzling his neck almost religiously.
"Cas," Dean murmurs groggily, "Cas, come on, man. Get up."
The alpha snorts, kissing Dean's neck quickly, "Yes, Dean?"
Dean rolls his eyes and pushes the other man back an inch or two, "Look, despite how supportive I am of us cuddling for a few hours, we've gotta get up because we've got stuff to do."
"Do we really have to?"
Cas must be begging or something, because all of the sudden, he's pulling out these pleading eyes and fluttering his eyelashes at Dean. It causes the hybrid to laugh at his mate for a few good minutes.
"No we can't, you ass, but I promise that we'll do something else later."
The look of hope on Cas' features is enough to make Dean smile as he leads him out of the room. He grabs Azazel's journal off of the side table as he passes by it, as well.
"So, I need to show you what I found, Cas."
"Which is what, exactly?"
Dean flips to the page in the journal that has the USB attached onto it, "I found this taped in here. I'm guessing that it's Zachariah's-" Cas twitches at the name- "because it wasn't in there before then. I was wondering if we could hook it up to a computer here and see what's on it."
However, before they can get somewhere, Dean is suddenly swamped with a big brother death hug.
"Oh, hey there, Sammy. Think you could've warned a guy, though?"
"Sorry," Sammy pulls back a few inches, his hands lingering on Dean's shoulders subconsciously, "I just missed you, and when Castiel came in the door with you, I didn't have a chance to see if you were okay… Speaking of which, are you alright?"
Dean shrugs, averting his gaze as he does, "As best as I can be, I guess. A little shaken- a little stirred."
Sammy raises a brow and lets his arms fall to his sides, "You sound like you're ordering a drink."
"A beer would be nice, actually," quietly, Dean adds, "I've earned a few, I think."
"There'll be some time later for that," Cas interjects, placing his hand at the small of Dean's back to move the group forwards, "Right now, however, we have this to take care of. If we truly want to relax, we have to sort out a way to keep GS from ever getting their hands on Dean again."
Dean shivers, "I'm right here, Cas. Don't make it sound like I'm still missing…"
Cas wants to say something, going by the uncertain expression he's sporting, but he doesn't. No, instead, he sends Sammy a nod and proceeds on into another room. It's a little tiny, and inside of it, there's a few basic desktops.
"Wow, Cas, I didn't-"
"Dean," the alpha places a finger or two over Dean's lips, silencing him, "What happened back there in the hallway?"
Dean pushes Cas' hand away gently, tilting his head as he does so, "Uh, Cas, I don't know what you're talking about-"
"Yes, you do," he asserts, "You get all quiet and skittish whenever someone mentions GS," Dean shivers, and he curses, "See, Dean? This right here, this fear rolling off of you. What happened?"
The hybrid averts his gaze, crossing his arms almost defensively, "I'm not here to be analyzed, Cas. If I wanted that, then I wouldn't have broken out."
"Don't say things like that."
"It's true, Cas," Dean barely stops himself from snapping, and Cas looks as though he's at a loss for the reaction, "I was poked and prodded while I was down there, like- like some fucking science experiment- some fucking toy for them to play with. I escaped to be left alone and to come back here. I want to forget. If I knew that all of you would be prying under my skin about what happened, then I probably would've avoided coming back- ..."
Dean's words fall silent as he sees the expression on Cas' face, and also for the heavy sourness of his usually sweet scent. His eyes are on Dean as though he were someone else- some foreign thing- and they are full of wariness. Dean, despite being so verbally challenging, takes a step back to put some space between himself and his mate.
"Cas, I'm sorry-"
"Let's just work on getting this USB sorted out, shall we?" Cas asks curtly, and he refrains from making skin contact as he takes the small drive away from Dean's fingertips.
Dean watches as the alpha goes to one of the computers and turns it on, sliding the USB into one of its ports as he does so. His movements are almost calculated, angry in their delivery, and his face is set into this scowl that makes Dean regret ever opening his stupid mouth.
"If you don't want to be bothered by anymore things about GS," his words are cold, almost distant, "then I suggest going back out into the hallway to speak to your brother. I can handle this on my own if need be."
Well, if that doesn't make Dean feel like more of an ass, he doesn't know what will. Because even if Dean is a complete dick to Cas, especially so by telling him he wishes that he didn't come back, Cas still doesn't want him to be uncomfortable. He's willing to go through the clusterfuck that's waiting on that USB just to make sure Dean isn't triggered by anything on it. Which, if things hadn't sort of gone to shit a few moments ago, would've been the most heartfelt thing ever. Now, though, it's a bitter thing, resting on Dean's tongue like a bad aftertaste. It makes him swallow his pride for a few seconds, put down his guns, and walk over to Cas.
He wants to stay, wants to help Cas with the more than likely coded and encrypted files, but the thought of seeing the horrors he'd experienced on screen, well, it terrifies him. He can't even really remember what went on while he was there, because he knew if he paid attention to all that went on around him, he'd break.
So he ignored things- made himself forget- and he buried those sights, sounds, and smells so deep that whenever he thinks of GS or Zachariah, most of the time he was in there is blurred; unfocused. He's guessing that it's a coping mechanism, that he's rejecting the memories of what happened because remembering is too much of a risk. It's too much of a nightmare that he doesn't want to experience over again.
That's why instead of staying like the tough part- the stubborn part- of him wants to, he kisses Cas on the head softly, whispering, "Thank you, Cas…"
The alpha doesn't react to the touch, or at least verbally. His body strains towards Dean, as though he were a magnet in some pull, and his breath comes out in what sounds like a strangled exhale.
Dean leaves after that, not wanting to dwell on what he fucked up, and to avoid seeing the contents of the USB.
His brother, who always fucking knows when something has happened, comes up to him as soon as Dean is out of the room, "Dean, what went on in there?"
Dean shakes his head, "Don't worry about it, Sammy. Just- I want to see Gabe."
"Oh, okay," he's seems mollified for the time being, but he looks at Dean with some concerned curiosity as he goes on, "He's sort of tired at the moment, since he's healing."
"What did Cas do, exactly?"
Sammy rubs at his neck, "Just the usual sort of thing, I guess? He scratched him up pretty badly, and he lost some blood. Mostly, though, healing's taking a while because, well…"
"Well what?"
Sammy looks almost mortified, "Uh, have you, um, seen a section in that journal over, oh god, pregnancy?"
"It was mentioned, but-" Dean blanks, "Wait, what?"
"He went into heat around the time that you had that flare up thing with Castiel," Sammy rushes out, "Things just- happened."
Dean punches his brother in the arm, "God dammit, Sammy! Did you not think about even using protection!?"
Sammy looks offended as he gapes, "Hey! You can't while there's heat involved! Do you even know what happens because of it?"
"Not really," Dean admits, sighing, "But having a lil' wolf baby on the way right now, you don't- we can't- it's just not the right time, Sammy."
"You think I'm not aware of that?" Sammy reels himself back a little, his eyes losing their fire, "Just- what's done is done, Dean. Gabe's pregnant, and he's healing slower than he should because his body is sort of trying to keep two people supported at the moment. Normally, I wouldn't be concerned, but he's been running a fever-"
"And you don't say anything!?"
Sammy rubs at his face, "Dean, Castiel would never forgive himself. You know that. You also know that he was so strung out over you that telling him about Gabe's condition just would've drove him over the edge."
Dean quiets at that.
"I need your help, Dean. There might be something you can do with your powers, right?"
"T-There might be," Dean rushes out as Sammy leads him towards his own mate, "I'm not sure, though. The journal was really only filled with hypotheses and random discoveries about anatomy and behavior."
Sammy doesn't seem to hear that, or if he does, he's too desperate to forgo the possibility that his older brother can help, "There's no time for that, Dean. We'll see what we can do. We have to."
The two brothers rush to Gabe's room, and by the time they get to the door, Dean's nose is assaulted by some bittersweet smell. He clamps his nostrils closed with his hand for a few seconds, coughing at the same time, as Sam looks at him with some pity.
"You get used to it after a while," the alpha murmurs, "It's just the scent of sickness and, well… baby."
Dean shakes his head, clearing his throat as he pushes back the door to Gabe's room.
"Sam-Sam it's you," Gabe pauses, looking over to Dean with widened, dull eyes, "and, fuck me, Dean-o too."
"Dean escaped, and Castiel brought him back. They got in earlier this morning."
Way to go Sammy, keep things laconic. It means that there's less for Dean to be reminded of.
"That's good," Gabe breathes out, his words soft and groggy, "I'm glad to see that you're okay, Dean."
"Wish that I could say the same about you," the hybrid mutters, coming up to the other side of his mate's brother (his mate who did this to his own blood), "How are you feelin', Gabe?"
The omega shrugs, smirking despite how pale and sickly he looks, "A lil' tired, I guess. Still not used to all of this-" he lifts a hand and makes it wave around loosely, only to place it on his stomach seconds later, "yet."
Dean smiles weakly, "Yeah, Sammy told me about that. You haven't killed him. Why?"
"Dean!"
Gabe laughs quietly, his eyelids drooping as he smiles, "Because, he's my mate and I love him along with all that other gooey crap. Besides, I don't wanna raise this kid without its dad."
"You have been spared," Dean gives his baby brother a pointed look, "but know this. If you don't take care of Gabe or your baby, I'm going to murder you so Gabe doesn't have to."
"This is why I love you, Dean-o," Gabe then promptly passes out.
"Check his forehead, will you?"
Dean places the back of his hand against the omega's temple, feeling his pulse race under clammy, warm skin.
"He's still running that fever," Dean whispers, grabbing onto the washcloth that Sammy hands him, "Do you think he'll be alright?"
Sammy sighs, "I'm hoping that he will be. I'm worried, though. I think the wounds might be infected."
Story of their lives, apparently.
"Well, there's only one way to find out, really…"
Sammy understands what that means, because he comes over to help Dean moves Gabe to examine the wounds in question.
"They're on his sides and back, thankfully," Sammy whispers, and Dean is confused for a moment until he thinks- oh yeah, stomach is baby territory, "Be gentle, though."
They manage to move Gabe without any real issues, and they pull up his loose shirt- and damn, Dean did not want to know why Sammy's old tee is on Gabe's body while faintly smelling of heat and rut- to examine the damage.
What Dean sees makes him wince.
"Shit, Sammy. You should've said something sooner…"
Sammy doesn't retort back, because he's too busy whining and placing his hand lightly against the swollen wounds on Gabe's back.
"This is all my fault," he grits out quietly, and Dean can see the self-loathing tears form already, "I shouldn't have let him go see Castiel. I shouldn't have let this happen altogether."
"Sammy, stop."
"You weren't here, Dean. You don't know how simple it would've been if it were me who told Castiel about the ad instead. Gabe would be safe. Our kid would be safe."
Dean feels slightly awkward at the reminder that his brother is going to be a father, and that suddenly, he's fallen into the stereotypical alpha brooding over their pregnant omega. He doesn't like the look, especially so when he knows that it's well-deserved right now.
"Look, stop blaming yourself and focus on what really matters," Dean sits on the edge of the bed to get a closer look, "Now, go get me a first aid kit. We've got some work ahead of us."
Turns out that Dean has a knack for forgetting about things when he's got a task in front of him. The methodical swabbing of antibiotic creams and the rolling of gauze keeps his mind off of the fact that Cas did this. It also just helps him avoid the thoughts over Cas in general, which, just like Garrison Services and a beta named Zachariah, is a sensitive subject. And for right now, sensitive subjects are what Dean is trying to avoid altogether.
"You must be thinkin' a lot," Sammy comments, pausing on wrapping Gabe's shoulder with bandages, "You keep starin' at Gabe's skin like it did somethin' wrong."
"Nah, I'm the one who fucked things up, actually," Dean sighs, "I think I really pissed off Cas, Sammy."
"What do you mean?"
Dean pauses, letting his hands fall onto the mattress, "He pulled me aside earlier and asked about what happened while- while I was there."
Sammy remains silent.
"I can't remember, Sammy. I don't want to, but even then, I've made myself forget what happened… I just snapped on him about it."
The youngest Winchester gets one of his knowing looks, "What did you say now?"
"I said that I wouldn't have come back if I knew that he was going to be so on my case…"
"Dean-"
"Look, I don't need you to tell me that I fucked up, okay? I didn't- I didn't mean to snap on Cas like that. It's just that trying to go through all that happened, even through memory… I just can't, Sammy. I'd fall apart."
Sammy gives Dean a pitying nod, "I get it, but still, Dean. You didn't have to go off and tell Castiel that you regret coming back. That's like telling him that you don't care for him or that he's a horrible mate."
Dean would facepalm if he wasn't covered in nasty wound stuff and sticky creams, "Are you fucking-"
"Dean, talk to him. Tell him that you didn't mean it that way, and that the wounds are too fresh for you to go off and talk about them."
"Just- everything is so fucked right now, Sammy… There's Gabe getting hurt, there's Cas losin' his shit, and then there's me trying not to lose my own…"
The alpha beside him is fixing the bandages on his mate carefully as he speaks, "It's true that things are a little more complicated than any of us would like right now, but we're gonna get through it, Dean. Or, we'll at least try to."
Dean snorts, "I think we've always sort of rolled with it."
Sammy smiles at Dean solemnly, and then returns to worrying over his mate.
"Call me if somethin' happens, okay?" Dean stands, making his way to the door, "I need to check in with Cas."
Sammy nods, turning back to Gabe and his wounds, "Remember what I told you, Dean."
Dean is about to leave, but he stalls and looks over at his brother. He doesn't mean to linger or to watch either, but he does it anyway.
He notices how Sammy's hands are careful as they ghost over Gabe's exposed skin. The touches are filled with concern and admiration, as though his fingertips were somehow proclaiming worship by tracing the wounds like a silent, unworded apology for something they hadn't done. Sammy looks practically broken over the condition that Gabe is in, and by the frown and the wrinkles on his face, Dean can read those lines in the flesh as regret and guilt. It's the sight of an alpha fretting about the only omega or person, even, that they'd ever love in such a way. In short, Sammy looks like a lovesick, worried mate.
Dean's throat clenches without warning, and the hybrid has to leave right then and there.
He's just not used to seeing his baby brother all grown up.
…
Dean doesn't go to Cas, or at least, he doesn't want to go to Cas just yet. There's one person who he hasn't seen in a while that he hasn't heard about, and he's a little eager to revisit.
He's in his wolf form now, trotting down a newly beaten path with his tongue lolling out as he comes across the den he was looking for.
"Meg?" Dean barks out, sniffing the air to see if her scent- pepper, dirt, and dust- is fresh, "Meg, it's Dean-"
His form is suddenly getting pinned to the ground in a playful way, and when he looks up, Meg is grinning wolfishly at him.
"Long time no see, Winchester. I'm happy that you're back."
Dean huffs a breath, "I'm happy to be back too. Really missed being crushed by your heavy ass."
She snorts and gets off of him, "This is the heaviest I've been in months, thank you."
"I can still see parts of your ribs."
"Like I said," she mutters darkly, "months."
The poor, slow lightbulb above Dean's head flickers to life weakly, "Shit, Meg. If you want to bite my head off, I wouldn't-"
"It's alright, Dean. Don't worry about it," she pushes him towards the den with a paw, "Besides, Ruby's missed you a whole lot. She's been sniffing around for you, too."
Dean sticks his nose into Meg's den, sniffing a few times to get a hearty scent of milk and pup, and he pulls back to say, "I've missed her too."
"Then get in there and see her. She whines at least once a day for you."
Dean freezes, "R-Really?"
Meg notices the look of surprise on Dean's features, and she tilts her head, "Yeah, she has… You've never been around a pup, have you?"
"No, not really," Dean murmurs, "There weren't a whole lot of actual pups in Azazel's pack throughout the years that I was there, and even then, I was human at that time. I wouldn't have- well, it's not the same."
"Of course it isn't," Meg bumps into Dean's shoulder, "Especially when you have those instincts in your head."
Dean's about to ask her what she means by that when he hears a small howl from inside the den. His ears prick up, and instantly, his going inside snout first without even thinking.
"There it is," Meg laughs as Dean wiggles his butt to fit through the hole, "The protective other mother has arrived."
Dean ignores her comment.
"Ruby?" Dean calls out, finding his tail wagging with some excitement.
A small, warm bundle of fur crashes into Dean's paw, making him look down to see a bigger, fluffier Ruby gleaming at him.
"What did you do to your kid?" Dean asks with horror as Meg slips in behind him, "Did you like, give her steroids or something? Did you replace her with an older pup?"
"No, you doofus. She grew, just like all pups do. You were gone for some time, Dean. I think it was about a month or two."
Dean pauses.
"Dean?"
"I've missed two whole months?" Dean turns to see Meg staring at him.
She only nods.
"I need some air."
Dean scrambles out of the den, panting hard, and the world around him swims and blurs into unrecognizable shapes and colors.
"Dean," Meg appears at his side, letting the hybrid lean onto her as his paws buckle from underneath him, "you're having a panic attack-"
"I- I know…"
"Was it something that I said?" Meg sounds concerned, and almost a little guilty, as she tries to calm Dean down.
"Lost time."
It's all Dean manages to get out before things go dark.
…
When Dean opens his eyes, he's in some bed with some form lying against his own.
"You're awake."
Oh, it's just Cas.
"What time is it?"
"Almost midnight," the alpha murmurs, petting Dean's head as he does so, "You were out for a few hours."
Dean snuggles closer into his mate's side.
"Dean, are we going to talk about-"
"Cas, please."
The alpha sighs, pushing Dean back an inch so they can make eye contact, "Dean, something happened at Meg's den. She told me that she mentioned how long you were gone, and that you freaked out because of it."
"I… I didn't know that it's been two months."
Cas tilts his head.
"I thought I was only gone a week, Cas. I didn't know that I was gone for almost nine."
The alpha stills, making Dean begin to worry.
"Cas?"
"I read what was on the USB," he begins, impassive by choice, as though to coddle Dean, "I'm guessing it was one of Zachariah's personal collection, since it was so easy to get inside of."
"Cas-"
"The documents on it showed tests that they'd run, or at least, the aftershocks of them. The USB was full of toxicology reports and diagrams detailing what they had done to someone."
Dean trembles as Cas grips onto him tightly, "Please-"
"Why didn't you say anything to me?" Cas asks with hurt in his voice, the words trembling with how close Cas is to crying.
"Cas, I- I can barely remember what happened. I've tried though- like, to go through the memories, sort of. But I can't. It's just- it's too soon, man."
Cas shakes his head, "We're going to have to talk about it, Dean. We need to discuss what went on, and either way, we need to make a game plan for when Zachariah tries to kidnap you again."
The saddest part is that there is no "if" in this situation.
"I know, Cas, but…" Dean decides then to somewhat change the subject, "You said that they conducted experiments?"
Cas pulls Dean closer to him, as though the idea of such a thing is enough to set him off, "Yes, they did."
"They never did anything though... I would know if they did."
"Dean, they made note that the drugs they used on the toxicology report would render some memories unattainable, and that you seemed to… mentally withdraw, during the trials."
Dean swallows, causing his voice to come out weak and uneven, "So you're saying that I was their guinea pig, and I don't even remember it?"
The alpha nods.
"That- well…"
Dean thinks hard, or at least, tries to, about the past "week" inside of GS. He now understands why it's so hard for him to recall what happened- why it's so hard for him to realize the truth. It isn't just emotional barriers that are keeping him back.
"Do you think Zachariah intended for me to forget stuff?"
"I don't know," Cas admits, "But I've read that in common therapy practices, during sessions, if someone has another person to walk through the past with, it can help them remember."
Dean huffs a breath, "Cas, you aren't a therapist."
"No, I'm not. But you're a hybrid. I'm sure that we could bend the rules here to our benefit."
For a second, Dean quirks his brow at his mate, "So we're going to use my super powers to help me remember what happened to me while I was gone?"
"Yes, in some sense," Cas murmurs, looking focused on his thoughts, "Though I'm sure that there will be some issues when it comes to figuring out how to specifically relive blocked memories. There may even be replays of things that we don't want to see, from either you or me."
The hybrid tilts his head, "What are you saying?"
"I'm telling you that there's a chance that you can get inside of my head instead of yours during this. I'm going into your memories with you, Dean. The possibility of you accidentally falling into mine is pretty high, considering."
"Are you willing to risk that?"
Cas remains silent.
"It's just- you've always been so protective over your past. Like, more than anything else in your life, really. I want to make sure you're down for this knowing that some dark shit that you want to hide has the chance to get light shed on it."
Cas takes a small inhale, "If we can get answers, and if we can figure out all that Zachariah's done, then I'll be okay with that being a side effect."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, Dean. If we're going to be able to fend Zachariah off, we need to find out all that we can before he's on our doorstep."
Dean pulls Cas a little closer to him, and he buries his face into his mate as well, "I don't think I could face him again…"
Hands rub their way down the planes of Dean's back in a comforting manner, "I won't let them take you, Dean. Not again- not when I just got you back."
For a while, the two find solace in each other's presences, and they try to fend off the foreboding feeling that the dark times are not quite over for any of them just yet.
…
(Day 2)
Dean wakes up to the feeling of Cas licking his neck, and overall, it surprises him.
"Whoa whoa, Cas, hold on," Dean tries to push back a little, but he finds Cas' hands gripping onto him tightly, impeding his movements.
"Stay."
Dean looks up to see Cas trembling, like he's fighting some part of himself off, and it makes the hybrid worried.
"Cas, are you okay?"
The alpha swallows, and his words are unusually shaky in their delivery, "I- I think I might be going into a r-rut."
Dean is instantly on alert, "Okay, just calm down. We can get through this, Cas. Come on."
The other werewolf whimpers, and he buries his face in Dean's neck in a pathetic manner.
"I, uh, I don't really know much about ruts, but I'm guessing that it's like a heat, but for alphas," Dean hates when he word vomits, it's like he has nothing important to say, really, it's all just gibberish, "You're good, right?"
Cas breathes in and out for a moment, his muscles twitching underneath his skin, and his words are labored and heavy, "Dean, I don't- I don't want to do anything… Just- not yet. Not when we don't k-know what can happen."
"Do you think you can control yourself enough to hold back?"
Cas shakes his head to say no, and his hands come up to grip onto Dean, trapping him in a vice.
"Well, um… Maybe I can try to ease it or somethin', you know? Like, before it gets bad-"
"Stimulation will only make it worse, Dean. Especially if it's from you."
Cas' gruff correction makes Dean rush to find a solution, "I could try using my mental stuff, right? I could go in and calm your wolf, or- I don't know. Anything is worth trying out, isn't it?"
The alpha seems too far gone to really disagree or agree at the moment, because his exhales come as pants against Dean's collarbone. It's then that the hybrid decides to take action before Cas does something against his human side's will.
He begins to move Cas to the headboard when the alpha growls low, "It's okay, Cas. I'm just repositioning us, alright?"
This seems to mollify the wolf in Cas just a fraction, because the growl shifts to that of a displeased rumble as Dean has Cas sit against the back of the bed.
"I'm going to get on your lap now."
Dean straddles Cas' hips with blush tinting his skin, and he tries to not feel anymore flustered as that rumble changes into a heady purr. The hybrid swallows, and he puts his forehead against his mate's sweaty and heated one.
Dean takes his hands and cups Cas' face, and he closes his eyes and focuses on getting inside of Cas' head. It takes a while, like he's beating against some mental barrier asking for entry, and the defenses are holding strong and hard. Dean hisses a little as his head begins to ache from the exertion, but he presses on, looking for some crack or weak point in Cas' walls for him to slip in through.
Dean's about to give up from the pounding in his head just as he manages to break in, and it's a relief on his body to finally feel that pressure give way. The hybrid has to take a moment, and during it, he can feel Cas' hands on his hips. Their grips are tight, but it's obvious in the minor tremor in their fingertips that these vices are ones of desperation.
Dean has to breathe for a few seconds before he can jump back into the fray, and when he does, he can feel Cas pull him a little closer.
"It's okay," Dean chokes out, finding that this is way harder than he imagined, "We're okay."
"D-Dean," Cas sounds like he's about to cry, and Dean doesn't understand until he feels something drip onto his leg.
His mental connection with Cas is severed when he pulls back to see a small droplet of scarlet on his thigh. Dean stares at for a moment, and he opens his mouth to say something, only to taste rust and salt. Cautiously, the hybrid brings a hand up to his face, and he finds that one of his nostrils is bleeding heavily onto his hand.
"Maybe I'm not fine, actually," Dean coughs, because he can feel it going down his throat, too.
Cas' reaction is almost instant, because Dean finds himself getting patted all over with panicked hands.
"Cas-"
"Dean," the alpha's voice breaks, and it causes the hybrid to try and not wince at how heartbroken his mate sounds, "You shouldn't have done that."
He begins to shake his head, only to regret the action as his vision swims and his stomach rolls with his neck, "I wanted to help, Cas."
"By what? Nearly giving yourself an aneurysm?"
Dean is about to retort that Cas isn't the only one allowed to worry about his mate, but he's cut short by Cas carrying him bridal style to the bathroom.
"I can walk, you know," Dean mutters, but there's not much fight in him considering that he probably can't walk straight with having to tilt his head back and all.
Cas doesn't say anything. Instead, he sets Dean down onto the counter top and grabs a washcloth, then wets it. Carefully, the alpha brings up the fabric to Dean's nose, and it makes him give a whine of discomfort as pressure is applied.
After Dean's eyes open, he sees just how Cas is reacting to his pain, and it's not pretty, "Dean, I'm so sorry."
"Cas, it's not your fault."
"Yes it is," Cas grits out, and despite his anger, his hands are nothing but gentle against Dean's bloodied skin, "I could feel you wanting to get in, and what did I do? I fought it. Or my wolf did. I don't know which it was, exactly... But either way, this is my doing."
Dean places a hand over Cas' wrist, and he stares into the other werewolf's eyes with as much sincerity as he thinks he can convey, "Cas, stop. Seriously. All you do is blame yourself. Just quit it. I wanted to see if I could help you, and I fucked up, alright? It's all on me this time."
"Yes, this time. I couldn't have worded it more perfectly myself."
Dean's brow furrows, "Cas?"
The alpha closes his eyes and hangs his head in shame, and for a second, Dean can feel nothing but complete guilt flood through him. It makes him gasp for a moment, and yet, Cas doesn't look up- as though he knows what Dean just felt.
"I know that my brother isn't in the best of conditions right now because of me," the alpha begins, and his voice is bitter as he speaks, "I don't know if Sam is aware of it or not, but my nose works. I know my brother's scent, and I know what it's like whenever he's sick."
"Cas-"
"I know that he's got an infection and that it's because of what I did to him," Cas grits out, and his hands clench on the edge of the counter beside Dean's hips, "I know that he can't heal because of what I've done."
Dean, without thinking, opens his mouth, "Uh, Cas, not to be a angst-kill here, but, um… Sammy's more of the reason why he can't heal normally, not you."
Cas' head snaps up at that, and for a few seconds, Cas looks confused. However, when realization sets in, Cas looks like he's about to commit murder.
"He did what?" Cas snarls.
"It was after my little heat flash, you know, the first one when I sort of presented to you? Apparently I set Gabe's off or something, Sammy didn't want to go into details thankfully, but I'm sure we can connect the dots well enough ourselves, and let me tell you, it does not form a sailboat," Dean rushes out, his lungs aching from his slight rambling.
Cas glares at Dean, "How long have you known about this since you've been back?"
"Not too long either way, because you know- ..." Dean trails off and ducks his head and avoids his mate's furious gaze, "It was after the… the USB incident… I meant to tell you, but… We were fighting, sort of. I didn't want to make things worse by breaking the news or something."
Dean thinks that Cas may seriously throttle him or something, going by how pissed he seems to be, but when Dean jumps from Cas' touch, it's more out of surprise than from pain. Gently, Cas lifts Dean's face back up by his jaw. The alpha seems calmer now- almost apologetic for being so rough with Dean.
"While I am upset, it's not directed at you, Dean. I'm sorry if I gave that impression. I am, however, very, very infuriated with your brother."
Dean nods, shrugging, "It's understandable. I mean, I wanted to drag him out over the metaphorical coals myself, but… it isn't the best of times for any of us."
The alpha sighs, "I know, and I wish that it wasn't. Conditions aren't good enough to bring a pup into the mix. In fact, it may just make things worse."
"That's what I tried telling Sam, but he's right. What's done is done. Gabe is pregnant-" Cas flinches at those words, and Dean proceeds on cautiously, "and there's nothing we can do that's really going to change that."
"I just wish that they would've said something before this… It would make things less complicated for Sam, but especially for Gabriel. We could've gotten him to a doctor or something else already."
"Sammy was worried that you would've murdered him and left his body to rot, and that's even worse for the baby and Gabe."
Cas huffs, "Even though I'd like to, what is it- rip your brother a new one?- I know that it would be counterproductive more than anything else."
Dean smiles, and he brings Cas a little closer to him so he can peck his mate's cheek, "Look at you, acting like a caring big brother. It's a good look on you."
"I wish that blood was on that list," Cas grimaces, and when Dean is about to ask why, he can see where his lips left crimson marks on the alpha's skin.
"Oh, sorry about that," Dean takes a clean edge of the washcloth from earlier to wipe it away as he flushes a little in embarrassment.
As he rubs away his blood from Cas' skin, the alpha stares at Dean in a way that makes goosebumps appear along his arms and legs. Without thinking, Dean shivers under his mate's gaze, and Cas' pupils dilate at the reaction.
"You're still not in a rut, are you?" Dean asks suddenly, because oh yeah, he needs to know if he's about to get jumped like a hurdle.
Not in that way, exactly- but you get it nonetheless.
"I'm not sure, but seeing you bleeding and hurt might have completely scared me out of it. Or at least, severely prolonged its appearance for a bit. I don't which happened yet."
Dean licks his lips, and Cas' eyes follow the action, "Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see, right?"
Cas hums in agreement, only to take a step forward a second later to bury his face into Dean's neck. Dean chuckles, and he's reminded of how Cas woke him up this morning by doing the same thing as he wraps his arms around Cas' shoulders.
"I ached for you while you were gone- like I was voided of a part of myself, and the hollowness couldn't be ignored," Cas murmurs, his lips moving against Dean's pulse point as he speaks, "The days felt endless, and nights felt just as infinite."
"That's a poetic way to say you missed me, Cas," Dean whispers back, "but I like it. I like it a lot, actually."
Cas rubs his face against Dean's shoulder, and it causes the hybrid to make his body meet the other's eagerly, "I missed your skin, your voice- your scent. I wandered around the house endlessly, searching for something that I couldn't find- that I could never pinpoint. I forgot how many times I woke up to find myself in another room, clinging onto something that held only a trace of your presence."
Dean's breath catches in his throat as Cas presses in just a few centimeters closer, "Cas…"
"I know that sex-" Dean can't help but jolt at the word, and of course, Cas doesn't miss that reaction, "isn't something we should be focusing on, at least, until we know that you're okay and that we won't get interrupted like before."
Dean's mind flashes back to Zachariah's cockblock, and he grimaces as all the heat he was feeling dissipates into nothing, "Oh wow, he's a huge buzzkill."
Cas nods, "Yes, which is why I don't want him to walk in here if I'm fucking you."
Dean blinks at his mate, because really- when did Cas get such a mouth on him?
"Now, how about we get things ready for when we encounter him next? The sooner we get that out of the way-" Cas nips at Dean's neck just for a split second, and it's enough to make Dean melt against the counter top, "the quicker we can get to… other things."
Dean breathes out heavily, causing him to slump against the alpha as he pulls him off of the counter, and he tries not to sound eager when he speaks, "O-Okay."
Let it be said that if Zachariah interrupts something again, Dean will happily show that bastard where to shove it.
…
Research, as expected, begins almost instantly after Dean and Cas exit the bathroom. They're currently exploring the contents of the USB when Sammy walks into the room.
"Hey, Dean. Hi, Cas."
The two turn to look at the youngest Winchester, but it's Cas that speaks first, "Dean told me that you impregnated my brother."
"Wow, Cas. Way to be fucking subtle," Dean chastises.
"Wait, you told him, Dean?" Sammy looks hurt, sort of.
Actually, he looks like he's about to be hurt- which in all sense, could be true.
"He already knew that something was up, Sammy," Dean reasons, "Besides, how long could you keep your mouth shut for before something else went wrong or got worse?"
Sammy seems bested at that, and Dean tries not to feel some pride in quieting his usually retortive brother.
Cas, however, has something else to say, because he stands up from the desk chair and stops right in front of Sammy. Despite their major height difference, Cas looks intimidating as hell, and it doesn't go unnoticed by either Winchester, going by Sammy's nervous twitching.
"I'm only going to say this to you once," Cas begins, his voice low and threatening- and holy hot damn Dean should stop this train before it gets to the next station of thought, "If you hurt my brother, I will hurt you. If you hurt my nephew or niece, I will hurt you and then some. However, if you ever let something as big as this go unnoticed for as long as it did, I will maim you. I'm afraid that murder is off of the list because of my brother's dependency on you, as well as the child's, but that doesn't mean that torture isn't off of the table."
That's it- Dean is gone. Goodbye, friends. He's off to Heaven, having died from secondhand embarrassment and extreme arousal.
What a way to go.
"Dean, please stop thinking about 'you-know-what'. You're stinking up the room, and I've endured enough hell today," Sammy looks mortified at the moment.
Cas, however, seems to disagree, because he shoves Sammy out of the room and shuts the door.
"He could've had something important to say," Dean points out with a small pout, making the alpha watch how his bottom lip juts outward and shines with spit, "It could've even been about Gabe and the baby, for all we know. Besides, I thought we agreed that we would wait to have sex till things cleared up."
Cas whines pathetically, looking extremely conflicted as he glances back and forth from his mate to the hallway. But, eventually, after some questioning looks from Dean, Cas gives in and pouts his way back over to the door. He opens it, and thankfully, Sammy is still there.
Dean pauses for a moment, "Wait, we're you going to listen in or somethin', you perv?"
Sammy at least has the decency to blush furiously.
…
When they reach Gabe's room, Cas seems to stall a little bit whenever his brother's weird scent fills the air.
"Y-You can smell it," he comments with some disbelief.
"Of course you can. Have you ever been around a werewolf who's pregnant?" Sammy asks.
Cas shakes his head, "No… Gabriel and I are changed werewolves, just like you two. Except we've never had a pack until now, and even then, there's never been a pregnancy."
Dean quirks a brow, "So, in every sense of the word, we're fucked, aren't we?"
"I mean, there isn't anyone here who has-" Sammy stops mid sentence, "Wait, I take that back. Dean, I need you to head outside and shift."
"Why's that?"
Sammy glances towards Gabe's room as he answers, "Meg will know how to help us."
…
Cas heads out with Dean to fetch Meg, but he doesn't say why he's accompanying him. Sammy had offered to let Cas help him out with Gabe instead, but the other alpha refused. Dean's guessing it's because he doesn't think he can handle seeing his brother in such a state.
He can relate.
Either way, it doesn't matter at that point, because the two wolves come upon Meg's little home away from home. The she-wolf comes out of the mouth of the den, and she snorts when she sees the other two werewolves.
"It's like you two to just randomly show up," she mutters just as Ruby slips out from between her legs, "and it's just like her to dart off…"
Dean thinks that Ruby is going to run around the woods nearby, but he stands corrected when the little pup bounds her way right into his leg.
"Just like old times," Dean huffs a laugh softly, and he lays down on his stomach, "Hey there, Ruby."
"Dean! Dean!" the pup yips, and she licks his face, "I missed you!"
Dean's head shoots up to Meg who laughs at him, "Yep. She can sort of talk now. Surprise?"
Cas is looking at Dean with something close to an awed hunger, in some sense, because his pupils dilate and his fur fluffs up against the wind. A heady scent floats its way over to Dean's nose, and when it reaches his nostrils and enters his lungs, he wishes that he and Cas weren't upholding their own version of celibacy till things were better. Because, oh yeah, he'd be so down for going a round or two in the forest right now.
"Ew, stop it you two. I don't want my daughter exposed to that stuff," Meg comes forward and bites her pup by the scruff, and she picks her up and sets her down by the entrance of the den, "Stay in there for right now, Ruby."
"But I wanna see Dean!" she whines, and Dean fidgets from surprise as his inner wolf chants 'pup' over and over.
Meg snorts, "Whimpering like a newborn isn't gonna change my mind, lil' one. Just head in there, and stay. Dean will come back later, I promise."
Ruby's tail hangs in between her flanks, but she nods and mopes her way back into the den nonetheless.
"So," Meg says once Ruby is out of sight, "what made the lovely couple grace me with their presence today?"
"We need your help," Cas takes a step forward, his stance like soldier's almost, "You're the only one in the pack with enough knowledge on pregnancies to help us out."
Meg tilts her head, "But the only two people who can- wait… Dean, you're pregnant?"
Dean's coat bristles at the accusation, and his muscles tense as he smells that scent from Cas once more. However, he shakes his head.
"I'm afraid that it's my brother, actually," Cas corrects, and Meg looks- well, she looks almost disappointed.
"Figures that Gigantor and Smalls would swap crotch spit first," Meg mumbles, and Dean tries not to gag.
Seriously? Crotch spit? Like- what?
"Well, I'll go help you all out. I mean, I am the only one who's been infected with cooties here."
Should Dean even feel surprised anymore?
Cas nods, "You might need to bring Ruby with you. This may take a while."
Meg goes inside of her den to fetch her daughter, and Cas takes the opportunity to come over to Dean.
"So, that whole conversation was awkward as hell."
The alpha huffs a breath, only to rub his muzzle against Dean's shoulder, "I found it enlightening."
"Enlightening?"
Cas head butts Dean, and a deep, pleased rumble resonates from his chest, "I like the thought of you with pups. I like it a lot, actually."
Dean snorts at what seems to be their new personal, and sexual, joke, "Yeah well, what can I say? I've always had a personality that made me glow."
"Smartass."
Dean raises a wolf's furry equivalent to an eyebrow, "When did you get such a foul mouth?"
"You've been quite an influence."
The hybrid gapes, "Hey, you ass, don't put the blame on me!"
Cas just rumbles again, and pushes Dean up on his paws, "Come on, we've got things to do."
Dean grumpily stands just as Ruby and Meg leave the den, and together, they all go back to the pack house.
…
"Dean, where am I?" Ruby asks as she climbs up Dean's back just to slide down his muzzle.
"It's a pack house," Dean states easily, snorting as Ruby trips on her paw and face plants, "All of the wolves in Cas' pack live here."
"Am I in Cas' pack?"
Dean looks over to the alpha who is watching their interactions quite carefully, "Well? Answer the kid."
"Yes, Ruby. You're part of my pack," Cas gives Dean a look, but it quickly gives way to a more affectionate one as Ruby curls up beside Dean from exhaustion.
Ruby waits a moment, seemingly out of breath from her playing, and she sounds completely tuckered out as she speaks, "Then why do I live in a den outside?"
Dean looks at Cas for answers, but it seems that even he's at a loss for them. However, it's then that Meg walks out of Gabe's room and joins them.
"It's because your mom prefers to have her own space."
Ruby gives a small whine, "I wanna live in here, though! It's warm and it has Dean and Gabe!"
The she-wolf rolls her eyes at her daughter, "They can always visit. Now come on, it's time for your nap."
"Can I nap right here?" Ruby asks, her voice pleading, "Dean's warm and I missed him!"
"Fine, but if you give him any trouble, I'll give you some back. Got it?"
Ruby nods, and she begins to pass out, "Yes, Mama."
They all wait till Ruby is fast asleep to say anything, and going by the slump in Meg's form, there's going to be a lot that is said.
"How is he?" Cas asks, and he sounds concerned as he moves closer to the door.
"He's weak and sickly, but, I mean, he could be worse."
Cas freezes at that, "Meg…"
The she-wolf sits down, "What do you want me to tell you? That everything's okay? That everything is going to go back to being sunshine and rainbows? Uh, no. I'm not going to bait you like that."
"Are they going to make it?"
Dean feels a surge of complete desperation come through his bond with Cas, and he winces at the sound of his voice and the feel of his guilt. Seriously- when Cas feels, he feels.
"The infection isn't a nice or small one," Meg begins, "It's had time to fester, and it doesn't help that his healing is slowed from the baby. But, we do have some silver linings to this shit storm."
Cas tilts his head, "And that is?"
"Dean."
Dean's ears prick, and he finds that both wolves are now looking at him, "Whoa whoa whoa, hold on. What do you mean that it's me?"
"Hybrids can heal better than a regular werewolf if they need to, depending on if they're desperate enough. I'm sure that your wolf will be more than sympathetic to Gabe, considering. All you have to do is summon some of your mojo, and viola."
"I don't know if it's going to work," Dean admits, and he hates how selfish or pathetic he sounds, "I'm not used to my… abilities, yet. I'm also not sure if I'll be causing healing or harm to Gabe if I used them, and I also know for a fact that I'm not really good at it. I tried something this morning, and I nearly cracked my head open."
Meg looks over to Cas, "Is that true?"
The alpha only nods.
"Well, you're going to have to train yourself in the ways of hybrid, then," Meg begins to walk back into the room, "I suggest that you start as soon as you can. The quicker you are, the quicker you can get Gabe back to normal. Besides, I don't think he'll hold out for that much longer anyways if you don't."
The words shock Dean, and he somewhat curls in on himself and Ruby as Meg leaves.
Cas senses his discomfort, because he comes over to Dean and lies against his back. He licks around Dean's ears, attempting to try and ease the tension that's straining Dean's muscles.
"Cas, I could hurt him or something," Dean blurts, "The stuff could rebound or go wrong, and I can't risk that. I can't risk making the bad things worse."
Cas rumbles lightly, and the sound makes the hybrid relax only a little, "I know, which is why you and I are going to resume practicing."
"Are you sure?" Dean pivots enough to where he can look at his mate, "You nearly lost it this morning just because I got a nosebleed."
"It's not like we have much of a choice, Dean. We still have to go through your memories, if we can, and now Gabe needs you to perform a miracle. It's not that I'm not concerned about what's going to happen, it's that we're all desperate enough to put some risks aside to avoid the bigger ones."
Dean tries to relax against his mate, and he lays his muzzle down along the length of Cas' outstretched legs, "I wish that we didn't have to compromise…"
"I know, Dean, because I'd give anything to not chance having you get hurt, but… there's no wiggle room here."
The hybrid huffs a breath and closes his eyes, "Isn't that the story of my life?"
Cas snorts, laying his head down along Dean's neck as he does so.
The two older wolves fall into a light sleep while Ruby snuggles into Dean's side.
…
Dean wakes up to sheets and Ruby bouncing on him.
"Get up, Dean! Get up!"
The older werewolf groans, stretching his limbs out and licking his nose as he does so, "What time is it?"
"It's nighttime!" Ruby pounces on his side, making Dean lose his inhale with a huff, "But Castiel told me to get you up because he said something about 'pack tis'?"
"Practice," Dean corrects, and he gets up to shake out his fur, "Come on, kiddo."
Dean jumps down on the floor, and he's about to leave whenever he hears a whine come from his bed. Instantly, his head swivels to see Ruby struggling with jumping down. Her paws hesitate, and she's going back and forth along the edge of the mattress.
"Hold on, I'm coming."
Dean grabs her by the scruff and helps her get onto the ground, and as he lets go of her to continue walking, she headbutts his leg again.
"What?"
"Carry me!"
Dean snorts, "Ruby, you're old enough to walk on your own now."
She hangs her head, "I know, but you were gone. I wanted you to play 'pick me up', but you weren't here. Mama said that you missed out, and I feel bad because of that."
"Aren't you a lil' piece of work?"
Ruby bumps into his leg again, "Please, Dean? I'll be good, I promise!"
Dean rolls his eyes and gives in, not only to satisfy Ruby, but himself as well. However, it'll take him months- maybe even years- to tell anyone that he does feel a little cheated whenever he realizes he missed out on so much with Ruby. Just because he's obviously trying to make up for lost time doesn't mean that he's going to be willing to admit it.
But, either way, it's how he finds Cas, much to the alpha's surprise. Dean stands there for a moment, just randomly in the middle of the hallway while staring up at Cas, and all the while, Ruby dangles from his mouth. Cas, in human form, eats up the scene hungrily, and his eyes turn a shade darker.
Dean knows how this goes by now. He's not dumb enough to be oblivious to the fact that Cas gets hot under the collar whenever "pup" and "Dean" are put together in any way, especially so whenever Dean is around Ruby. He gets it- you know, alpha instincts n' all. To be fair, Dean gets them sometimes himself.
"Dean," Cas snaps the hybrid out of his thoughts, his voice curt.
Dean gives a muffled bark, and Ruby yips and waves a paw at Cas.
"Hi alpha!" she sing-songs, and she shakes to get out of Dean's hold, and when he lets go, she jumps onto his leg and begs to be picked up.
Oh, and about the denial thing- while we're on it, Dean might as well say that he will never admit that his heart fucking melts whenever he sees Cas pick up Ruby as though she were some orphaned puppy or something. This shit could easy be in of those desperate housewives calendar, or it's definitely romance novel material- but even then, Dean would buy either in milliseconds and hide it for years after it was printed.
"I'm guessing that Ruby got the message to you," Cas comments, quirking a brow at how Dean looks at him.
The hybrid yips his confirmation.
"Alright. Head back into our room in about an hour, and be in human form. If you need me before then, I'll be at Meg's den. She's been looking for you Ruby. What did she tell you about running off?"
Ruby hangs her head and whines pitifully, and it makes Dean feel guilty or something. Though, that feeling doesn't last long, because it's replaced by surprise. Ruby ran off to be with him?
"I only wanted to see you, Dean. I promise that I wasn't being bad," Ruby explains, sounding melancholy in Cas' arms, and she tucks her head into the space of his elbow to hide her face away.
It's the cutest and saddest fucking thing Dean has ever been an eyewitness to.
"Well, I'm sure that Meg will appreciate that, at least," Dean begins, "but you just can't run off on her like that, especially right now."
Ruby lifts her head, "Why?"
Cas senses that the two are having a conversation, and he lets Ruby plop herself onto the floor in front of Dean.
"Right now, there's some big men that are more than likely going to randomly appear here in the pack house."
"Like magic?" Ruby asks, her voice sounding hopeful.
Dean shakes his head, and that's when he realizes why parents worry about the naivety of their children, "No, it's not magic, Ruby. They aren't wizards or fairy godmothers. They're bad people who will do bad things to you if you let them."
Ruby whimpers, and Dean lowers himself a little to offer some sense of comfort as she shakes her response out, "B-But I don't want them to hurt me…"
"Neither do we, so that's why you have to stay in our sights. We want to keep you safe, Ruby, and if you run off on us, we won't be able to do that."
This seems to have an impact on the pup, because she sits like a small soldier and raises her muzzle, "Yes, sir! I promise that I won't run off again, Dean!"
"Scout's honor?" Dean asks, holding out a paw.
Ruby smacks it enthusiastically with her own, "Scout's honor and then some!"
Dean chuckles affectionately, "Alright. Go get 'em tiger!"
"I'm not a tiger, I'm a werewolf, silly!" she barks back, and she bounds off to her den with Cas rushing to keep up with her.
Dean snorts as he watches his mate disappear with Ruby, and he decides that it's high time that some research gets done.
He trots down the pack halls, aware of all of the betas' eyes on him, until he gets to the computer room. The hybrid grabs a blanket out of a nearby linen closet and drags it into the room, shutting the door once the fabric is out of the way. Once it's closed, Dean shifts back into human form and wraps the blanket around him.
He feels a little weird and lumpy, but hey, it beats being naked.
"Alright, research," Dean awkwardly shuffles over to the computer with the USB still attached to it, and he brings it back to life with the flick of a finger, "Let's crack this bitch wide open."
It takes a few minutes for Dean to figure out all of the lingo on the files that are saved onto the drive, but after that, he's golden. Google is helpful enough on medical terms he's unaware of, and the rest, Dean just inferences.
"How much have you gotten done so far?"
Sammy's voice makes him jump, and Dean glares at his baby brother for a moment until his heart is back under control, "You could've knocked, you ass. There's a madman after me, remember?"
"Oh right- shit- I'm sorry," Sammy rubs at the back of his neck, "I'm just completely exhausted and stressed right now."
It's that admission that makes Dean realize just how worn Sammy looks. There's bags, deep and purple, lining his eye sockets, making him look sickly. There's also more definition to the contours of his skull, and by this, it means that Sammy's skin looks paler and parchment-thin. Dean's eyes can follow the curve of his baby brother's cheekbones, and he can see where his nose goes from bone to cartilage. His hair even looks brittle and dull, which is unusual for the "werewolf Simba", as Dean called him over the years, who had a flowing mane of glorious locks. All in all, his brother looks like some walking, talking corpse.
"Dude, you look like you're about to drop. Have you slept or done anything remotely human recently?"
"Other than shower, eating a little, and going to the bathroom, not really, no."
Dean narrows his eyes, "Sammy, you've gotta take care of yourself-"
"But Gabe needs me, like, at every second. If you think that I'm drained…" Sammy trails off, and his eyes begin to shine with unshed tears.
Dean sighs, "Sammy, we're doing all that we can. I want to try and heal him right now, but I'm not sure if I can. I have to figure out how to do it first without fucking anything up."
Sammy nods, "No, I get it. You don't want to make bad things even worse. It's alright. This is just very… taxing, at the moment."
"I can tell," Dean murmurs, and he pulls a chair up beside him, "Come on, take a seat. I'm sure that you need it. Like, how did you even get a free moment to come up here?"
"Gabe's asleep right now, but he told me earlier that he wants me out of his room at least once today… I decided to just wander around the house for a moment, and I ended up here."
Dean nods, "Well, put your head down on the desk or somethin' and get some shut eye, okay? You deserve it."
Sammy doesn't argue. Instead, he sets his head down onto his arms and sighs. Dean can tell by the way his brother's breathing shallows and slows that he's asleep almost instantly, and for a moment, Dean wonders how long it's been since his brother got the chance to get some shut eye.
However, there's work to do, and it's calling Dean's name.
The hybrid goes back to reading what's on the screen, and he ends up becoming enraptured with what's before him.
Zachariah wasn't kidding when he said that he's done research of his own, because before Dean, there are a lot of high-in looking lab reports and other professional documents. They all talk about things related to hybrids, such as reactions to certain medications or reactions to certain stimuli. Dean stares at them for a moment, and he wonders how these results were able to be found if- if- …
So far, Dean's the only hybrid in known existence, other than his mom.
The realization has Dean blinking at the computer screen blankly until his mind comes back online, and when it does, he scrolls down to see the box titled "PATIENT" filled in with "DW918" in inky print. Using the shortcut for search, Dean types the number and letter combination in, and the results are staggering.
Before the hybrid is about a thousand or so documents- all of which are results from testing or something else.
Dean's breathing picks up, and his hand trembles over the mouse as he scrolls down through the massive collection that apparently pertains to him.
Words like "FAILED" or "INCONCLUSIVE" appear, but it only frightens Dean further whenever he sees "AFFECTIVE". He clicks on the one document with the green label, and his free hand grips onto the edge of the desk with enough force to crack the wood a little.
"AFFECTIVE
PATIENT: DW918
MEDICATIONS: Mild sedative - diazepam (Valium); V.193 (TEST - A. Irr.)
NOTES: No violent reaction to sedative; vital signs normal. Patient, however, mentally withdraws during the procedure. This is not a side effect of the drug.
V.193 causes abnormal amounts of testosterone to be produced, causing DW918 to become extremely violent and territorial. Restraints were used, and other sedatives were administered.
Reactions are somewhat slowed afterwards, causing us to believe that this is due to the sedatives within his system. Stimulus to joints and nerves remains somewhat regular, despite having been given tranquilizers.
The patient seems to ignore everything when sedated, despite interactions that are instigated by doctors and nurses. Conversations fall silent, and replies are never given. The patient doesn't seem to react to his own name being spoken, which causes some concern among his caretakers. Observation on the patient's mental condition is being considered at this time.
More results are pending."
Dean closes the document and swallows thickly, and he glances over to his baby brother. He sleeps peacefully beside him, his chest rising and falling rhythmically as the seconds drag on and pass.
If only Dean could feel so relaxed.
The hybrid sighs, turning back to the computer with hesitancy. He's honestly afraid of what else he might find- but he's even more horrified at the fact that he can't recall any of this, either.
Dean looks back over to his brother again, and his voice breaks as he whispers, "Why can't I remember any of this, Sammy? I mean, I lived through this, apparently. Shouldn't I be, like, aware of what happened?"
Sammy doesn't reply. Instead, he drools over his forearm onto the desk, making Dean raise a brow as he sighs.
"You're such a great listener, Sammy. I always knew I could rely on you."
"He is asleep, Dean."
The hybrid jumps at the sound of his mate's voice, and he turns to see Cas watching him from the doorway, "When did you get here?"
"Just now," Cas begins walking forward, and stalls a little bit when he notices Dean's 'attire', and he shakes his head, "Dean."
"Would you rather have me sitting here naked?"
With the way Cas' pupils darken and enlarge, Dean doesn't think that the alpha would really mind that.
Dean swallows, "I take back my previous question."
"Dean," Cas comes forward enough to rest a palm along the gentle slope of Dean's exposed shoulder, his touch reverent, "while I do enjoy the thought of getting to finally bond in the physical sense-" Dean's mouth goes dry- "it's going to have to wait."
"I know," he murmurs, and the playfulness that he'd been feeling previously drains away as he glances back at the screen, and he changes the subject, "So… Are you ready to play roulette with some memories?"
"If you're willing, then yes."
Dean sighs and stands, and he turns off the computer and takes the USB with him, "It's settled then."
Dean wakes Sammy up and quietly tells him that he's leaving with Cas, to which his brother nods and stumbles his way out of the room. Dean watches him leave with worry brewing in his chest.
"I don't think that Gabe is the only one who isn't alright…" Dean murmurs.
"I agree," Cas comes to stand next to Dean's side, and the two stare at the vacant doorway with some understanding of what's going on.
Dean, however, turns to look at his mate, "What do you think's wrong with Sammy?"
"It's the bond."
Dean raises a brow, and he feels like a parrot as he says, "Bond?"
"It's been known to happen," Cas says quietly, and he drops his gaze to the floor, "Mates draw strength from one another, but they can also suffer from weakness. If one of the pair is sick, the other is affected inadvertently. Think of it like dominos, Dean. If one falls over, the one beside it is not that far behind from tumbling over, either."
Dean swallows, "So is that the reason why we're holding off on mating completely?"
"It's one, in a way. I don't care about what happens to me, but I know that Zachariah-" the name is gritted out bitterly- "would try to hurt you through me if we finished completely bonding. I don't want him to torture you anymore. I'd rather hold myself back from loving you like I should if it means that you're safer from that bastard."
A tear rolls down Dean's cheek, and he wipes it away feverishly, "Dammit, Cas. You just can't say things like that…"
"Why?" Cas looks extremely confused and concerned, his blue irises searching over Dean's face in worry.
"Because-" Dean grits out, "it really, really makes me want to jump your bones."
Despite the heavy situation, Cas smiles sadly, and together, the two walk to Cas' room to begin their daunting task.
…
Dean ends up sitting on Cas' lap again after he gets dressed, and he's holding onto his mate carefully as he closes his eyes and presses their foreheads together.
"I'm scared, Cas…" Dean whispers, and he feels Cas' hands stroke carefully up his back.
"I know, but we've got to do this one way or another. Just relax. I'm sure that being stressed won't do any good."
Dean swallows spit that feels too thick, and he takes a deep, grounding breath, "Well… Here goes nothing."
Dean focuses on getting into Cas' head again, and this time, it's not as difficult as it was before. Whether it be from his earlier attempts or Cas' regret for pushing back, he doesn't know.
Either way, Dean feels a little comforted by the lack of resistance this time around, and it makes it that much easier to help calm his nerves.
"Deep breaths," Cas murmurs, and he pulls Dean a little closer, "Focus on your memories, Dean…"
Dean listens to Cas' gentle words, and he scrunches his face as he tries to push past his own mental wall as the alpha runs his hands up and down his back slowly.
"It hurts, Cas…" Dean chokes out, his voice breaking on the last syllable as his head begins to pound away in protest, "It hurts so much-"
"Push through it," he soothes, gripping onto Dean tighter, "Listen to my voice if you need something to keep you from drifting away."
Dean nods with a dry sob, "Please keep talking. I feel like I'm going insane."
The hybrid's breath hitches as a sharp pang of pain causes him to shudder and grab onto Cas' shirt desperately. A whine builds up in his throat, and he's about to give up as foggy images begins to appear, and muffled words being to fill his skull like thoughts.
"You're doing so good, Dean," Cas reassures him softly, and he holds Dean tightly by his shoulder as the other hand cups his face, "Keep pushing."
Dean pushes a little harder like he's told, and the two werewolves groan collectively at the acute pressure that seems to be building up behind their eyelids- like a migraine that's suddenly gotten ahold of steroids. The pain induces havoc upon the pair, and Dean feels like his brain is getting dragged out of his mouth only to go right back in through his nose in a quick succession. In short, it's like his brain is in a tight, unforgiving blender.
However, a new pain begins to blossom along Dean's right shoulder. A whine rips its way out of his throat just as it gets unbearable, and Dean's breaks off the contact from Cas' forehead by letting his face fall into the crook of the alpha's neck.
"Shit," Dean breathes out, and his stomach rolls around like it's in some sort of dyer that's set on 'tumble'.
Cas does nothing but breathe for a moment, and it seems that he's still getting his head together as Dean registers the slickness coming from his nose again.
"Fuck…"
Dean tries to pull away, but he finds that movement is not a good idea right this second, and he pants against Cas' collarbone when a strange, torturous sensation begins.
Cas- oh god- Cas is literally peeling his hand away from Dean's shoulder.
Dean holds back a scream by how precise and powerful the pain of it is, and he has to stop himself by biting into his mate's neck to fight it. Cas seems to be brought back by Dean's reaction, because he's suddenly spewing out sorry after sorry as he repositions them on the bed.
In the end, Dean is lying on top of Cas' chest, and he's crying as the alpha's hands linger over the shoulder he'd just let go of.
"Dean, I didn't-" Cas' voice sounds absolutely wrecked, "Oh god, I'm so sorry, Dean."
If the hybrid were in his right mind, he'd tell Cas that it isn't his fault, and he'd be mentally capable of arguing when Cas said otherwise. However, he feels like he just got curb stomped by a giant who hasn't been to the gym in ten years with an affection for high-calorie foods. In short, he's hurting- and he's hurting badly.
"It's okay, Dean, it's okay," Cas sounds like he's on the verge of crying himself, "Please, just say something to me-"
"What did you do!?
Dean is so not ready for this shit.
Sammy is growling in the doorway, and if Dean's nose wasn't bloodied and his head wasn't feeling like it got bashed in and rebuilt with nails and tape, then yeah- he'd be somewhat defusing the situation.
"I did nothing!" Cas snaps, his words hissed out as though Sammy's accusation was derogatory, "I would never hurt Dean!"
Sammy doesn't sound convinced, because his furious snarl reverberates through the room, "Funny. You said that about Gabe, too."
Underneath Dean, Cas freezes.
"Sam," Cas' voice is less combative, and it's quiet- almost desperate, "I would never do anything to hurt your brother."
"Is that because it would affect you?" Sammy grits out, and Dean knows that this situation is just one lump of shit because both of these alphas are stressed out over their injured mates, "Do you only keep him safe because you know that, in some way, you're protecting yourself?"
A low growl grows from under Cas' ribs, and it bubbles up through Cas' throat and over his lips like a pot of water that's too hot and it's about to boil over, "That's ludicrously cruel of you, and you know it."
Dean tries to move- tries to stop this argument from growing any further- but his body is just not having it. He manages to move his arm only a centimeter, only to jolt from the sting with a squeak of pain.
Cas is instantly cooing at Dean, petting his head and trying to stop the tears that are still streaming down his cheeks and jawline onto the alpha's shirt.
Dean's mate gives a fake attempt at a purr, as if to console the hybrid in some way, "It's okay, Dean. You're fine now."
"What happened?" Sammy asks suddenly, because apparently, Cas' reaction of concern with Dean seems to have mollified him somewhat.
"We were testing out Dean's abilities."
Sammy is more than likely glaring at Cas now, going by how the alpha tenses under Dean as he pants to regain his breath.
"There isn't a clear way to go about this, Sam. Not only are we trying to prepare Dean to help out Gabe, we're also trying to figure out what exactly happened when Dean was at GS. So, give us some fucking leniency when we're just trying to figure this out."
Dean would applaud Cas if his brain didn't feel like mush.
Sammy, however, doesn't need that, because he sighs, "I'm sorry, it's just- Gabe isn't getting any better. I don't need Dean to get sick or something, too."
"I know, because it's my brother in that bed, and I don't want him to die just as much as you do," the alpha quiets after that, and his hand stalls among the strands of Dean's hair, "I don't think I can lose Dean, either."
Dean barely manages to grip onto Cas' shirt.
The action speaks louder than a thousand words.
"Is he okay?" Sammy sounds concerned.
"He hasn't been able to speak just yet, but from what I felt as we were attempting at having him remember, I wouldn't be surprised if basic communication suddenly became a miracle."
Sammy pauses for a moment, "What about his shoulder?"
Cas' breath catches, "I- I don't know. I was holding onto him as he was focusing, and all of the sudden this just… happened."
"How is that even possible?"
"I don't know that either," Cas admits, "I've never heard of or seen anything like it."
Sammy sighs, and Dean could imagine him rubbing at his hair in frustration, "Do you think it might be in the journal?"
"I'm not sure, but it is worth checking out if there might be answers there."
"I'll go look then," Sammy begins to leave, but he hesitates, "If he gets any worse, you'll come get me, right?"
Dean can feel Cas nod, "Of course, Sam."
Sammy begins to walk away again, but apparently, Cas has something to say too.
"Wait."
Sammy stops, "Yes?"
"If Gabe- …" Cas trails off, but his reluctance to word his fears doesn't mean that the other two people in the room are unaware of what they are, "You'd let me know, right?"
"Of course," Sammy echoes, and it's then that Dean realizes that the two alphas just formed a promise between the two of them as he begins to pass out.
If the other's mate worsened or even died, they would man up and become the messenger, and together, they would grieve.
…
(Day ?)
Dean awoke in a way that made him think that he had died or something some time during the night.
At first, he doesn't feel sick or in pain like he was in before. No, he feels normal- and it freaks him out.
He sits up to find bright sunlight flooding the room, because, for once, the windows are completely open to let light and a gentle breeze in. Dean wobbles onto his feet, his legs stiff from sleep, and he wanders over to the windows as birds chirp happily outside without worry.
"Oh my god, I'm dead."
"No, you're alive."
Dean jumps and pivots around to see Cas watching him from the doorway. He's leaning against the frame with a smirk stretching his lips, and it'd be the perfect sight if he didn't look so shitty.
All in all, the alpha looks haggard and stressed, and it seems as though he's gained frown lines and a few more wrinkles. His clothes are dirtied and ruffled, as though he didn't feel like changing them because there were matters of better importance than that of a wardrobe change.
"Cas?"
The alpha seems almost relieved, "I was worried that you damaged something, and that it was irreversible. You were out for a while."
Dean swallows, "How long?"
"Three days."
"Oh, that's a relief."
Cas furrows his brows, "Is it now?"
Dean shrugs, "I mean, I could've been out for longer, considering. You don't seemed thrilled either way."
"Oh, trust me, Dean, I am ecstatic that you're okay," Cas moves forward until he's standing at Dean's side, "but things have happened while you were asleep."
"Is Gabe okay?" Dean blurts, and he's sure that Cas can hear how his heart stutters over itself in fear.
Cas pulls Dean in close, "Yes, he's fine, but I'm afraid that he hasn't gotten any better."
Dean groans, letting his face fall into the crook of his mate's neck, "Just our luck, right?"
"So it seems…"
The two just lean on one another for a few moments, and it isn't until Cas is hugging him tightly that he realizes that it's kind of a miracle for him to be functional.
"I nearly lost you," Cas chokes out, his arms encasing Dean with what seems like gratefulness, "I was so worried that you wouldn't wake up and that- that you'd-"
"It's okay, Cas…" Dean murmurs, and he moves up a little to kiss Cas on the cheek, "I'm still here."
Dean tries to kiss Cas on the cheek again, but as his mouth meets softer flesh, he realizes that Cas moved to do the same, so he's kissing his lips.
Dean chuckles, but Cas doesn't seem to find the situation humorous. No, he finds it endearing or something, because of course, Cas has to act like some physical rendition of a Fabio-cover romance novel character as he kisses praise into Dean's jaw line.
"So perfect," he murmurs, and Dean's chuckle morphs into an embarrassing moan as the alpha nips at the skin, "My beautiful mate."
Dean shivers, "Cas…"
The alpha brings up a hand to cup the opposite side from where his lips are on Dean's face, and he pecks with a gentleness that makes the hybrid's eyelids flutter. Cas' other hand rests on his shoulder- the one that had felt like it had gotten seared the last time Dean was awake- with a touch that reminds Dean of the ends of a feather. It's surprising that he can still feel anything in that arm, considering.
At the reminder, Dean pulls back a little to see confusion on Cas' face.
"My arm," he states quietly, and realization crosses over the other's features.
"It's completely healed now," Cas begins, his voice a soft murmur, and his eyes trail over the curve of Dean's shoulder to the muscle that shapes Dean's forearm with something akin to awe, "I've done some research while you were resting, both with the USB and with what happened."
"And?"
Dean can't help but jolt a little whenever Cas seals his hand over his skin again, and he looks up from where they are touching to see Cas staring at his palm in wonder, "It's a bond mark."
The hybrid is lost, "Uh, bond mark? Remember, I was human not all that long ago. I still don't know and understand all of this werewolf lingo."
"There are two kinds of marks that a werewolf can receive, apparently. There's a mating mark, and a bond mark. I didn't know that the last one existed until a day ago."
"Please don't tell me we're some exception or first or whatever," Dean grouches, "I do want some normalcy every once in a while. It's gets a little old to find out that your bond is like an albino peacock."
Cas smiles and quirks a brow at his mate, "No, Dean, we're not a first case. However, it is rare, but still not completely unheard of or too uncommon. Thankfully, there's been some documented cases of such a thing happening before. I believe we sort of lucked out on this one, considering."
Dean lets out a breath of relief, "Thank god, because I'm really getting tired of havin' to wing it and hope for the best because we're weirdos."
The alpha chuckles at that, and he sets his chin on top of Dean's head, "Well, either way, I found a website that collects information on various mating rarities together. It's a little… unprofessional."
Dean pulls back to raise a brow at his mate to silently question him.
"I believe it's a website made by teenage girls."
Dean works the brow harder, like it's competing for "Next Top Model" and Tyra ain't takin' any shit today, boys and girls.
"They romanticize mating, I think. The page focuses on aspects of it."
The hybrid can't help but let a small chuckle undertone his voice, "Wait- you're tellin' me that you're taking this information from a sixteen-year-old's fantasy?"
Cas at least has the decency to blush, "They had numerous sources linked at the bottom of the page, Dean-"
"Ohmygod, Casssssss!"
If laughter is a life-threatening disease, then Dean is about to die, because there are tears streaming down his cheeks as he puts his hands on his knees to wheeze.
"Dean, please-"
Dean barely manages to get his reply out through bursts of laughter, "Teenagers, Cas! Really!? Like- you've might as well read Twilight or something, dude!"
Cas doesn't look all too happy, "What would be the purpose of reading a book about a middle-aged woman's sexual fantasy about a three-hundred-year-old vampire seducing a hormonal, bland seventeen-year-old who's desperate for more than the prickly affection from her pet cactus? Isn't that counterproductive to what you said earlier?"
Seriously, Dean is going to keel over and die right here, right now. He only has a few, precious minutes left.
"Dean, I can hear you wheezing. Can you breathe properly?"
The hybrid hiccups happily, blinking away numerous tears, "N-No?"
Cas sighs, "Do you need a minute?"
"I don't think I'm going to survive for that long," Dean chokes out, and his ribs ache and his abdominal muscles are protesting furiously against any kind of use, "Like- you're killin' me here, Cas."
"I'll take that as a yes, then."
…
They're sitting on the bed now, and Dean is leaning up against the headboard while Cas is near the end, sitting on the edge while he twiddles his thumbs.
"So the bonding mark means that you and I are magically perfect for one another?" Dean gawks at Cas as the alpha stares down at his fingers absently.
"In a sense," the alpha murmurs, "It means that we're soulmates, actually. Our bond runs deeper than most pairings, and we have a physical mark-" Cas gestures to Dean's shoulder, "to represent that."
Dean worries at his bottom lip for a moment, "But I thought it was from my brain mojo."
"That probably catalyzed the process. Normally, a bond mark doesn't appear until after there's some major development within the relationship and or a mating, but we really haven't had either of those."
The hybrid licks at his lips, and for a second, Cas' eyes follow the motion until he forces himself to look away, "So what does that mean about us?"
"Just that our bond, it's more…" Cas trails off for a moment, and when his eyes lock with Dean's, there's a sincerity about them that makes something tighten in Dean's chest, "profound."
Dean shrugs, "Well, kudos to us for being sympatico, then."
Cas chuckles, and that's when Dean decides to change the subject.
"What all happened while I was out?"
The alpha's mood seems to darken, but he answers nonetheless, "Gabe hasn't gotten any better just yet. Meg's been helping Sam out as much as she can with caring for him, and Ruby has visited and played with me in the meantime. Along with babysitting, I've been researching and looking over the documents on the USB."
"And?" Dean asks, and anxiousness practically drips from his voice.
"There's been a few… developments," Cas doesn't look at Dean, but the hybrid can tell that whatever he found infuriates him, going by the fists clenching on innocent sheets, "While you were at GS, Dean, they- they did a few things."
For a second, Dean pauses at the sound of a heavy, repetitive thump, and it isn't until his mate looks at him with concern that Dean realizes it's his own heartbeat that he's hearing, "W-What do you mean?"
"Zachariah tested heat suppressants on you, along with rut inducers and other things. He did this almost every day to see if he could convert you into an alpha."
Dean's throat tightens as he remembers Michael's screaming- his desperate pleading for an alpha that could do anything other than hurt him and make things worse- and he finds his palms clammy.
"You became aggressive and attacked one of the nurses in one case, and that's how it stopped. Thankfully, you're okay, but… Zachariah's intentions worked in an opposite manner."
The hybrid- or… what is he now?- looks at the alpha with wide eyes, "Cas- …"
"Your alpha side sort of locked itself away, Dean. Zachariah caused you to somewhat convert more into an omega, but you don't really have heats since he pumped you full of suppressants. But, there's also a catch."
Dean stutters, and he notices how wary Cas is over him, "A c-catch?"
"They noted that you only ever acted like an alpha whenever you're in danger. It's like you have another person in you or something, like a schizophrenic. Except this time, it's an alpha who doesn't want you to get hurt."
"So, without meaning to," Dean begins, words slow, heavy, "Zachariah broke me in half mentally, and now, I'm just an omega, whose heats are fucked up, and who's also got the persona of an overly protective alpha brother in my head?"
Cas shakes his head, "No, you're still a hybrid physically. You're just… in some sense, broken in half mentally and physically stuck, in a way. It is difficult to explain."
Dean nods slowly, "Okay… That's- that's better than what I was expecting… Somewhat."
"Dean, what he did to you was unethical. He should pay for what he's done."
While the alpha's words are hissed out in anger, Dean's are gentle, almost quiet, "Cas, no one wins against them in court. Like, ever."
"I'm aware of this. Far too aware, actually."
"So you're just going to go after them anyways?" Dean asks, knowing that he sounds and looks incredulous, "I'm sorry, Cas, but that's practically a version of suicide at best."
He shakes his head, "Dean, we've got to stop them somehow. The best way to make sure that Zachariah can't get you anymore is to make sure that he doesn't have some facility to drag you back to."
Dean sighs, "I get what you're saying and what you're trying to do, Cas, but… we wouldn't have a chance against Zachariah. He'd have all of these fancy, expensive lawyers, and all we have is Sammy, and he's just about burned out over Gabe. We'd be digging our own graves more than anything else."
"We'll figure something out," Cas assures, "I am telling you now, come Hell or high water, I will murder that bastard if I have to. I won't let him take you back, Dean."
Dean outstretches a hand, and the alpha takes it within his own, "Cas…"
"I was so worried when you were gone, Dean," Cas begins, and slowly, as he speaks, he pulls Dean in closer, centimeter by centimeter, "I tried looking for you every day, so much so that I've worn new paths into the ground throughout the woods surrounding us. You were just gone- nothing but weak scent trails that lead nowhere or just blank spaces. I nearly went insane while I was searching, and more often than not, Sam and Gabe had to come drag me back to the pack house."
Dean is silent as Cas settles him over his lap, and his fingers are gentle as they wrap around his arms with the soft promise of never wanting to let go.
"I had no self-preservation, Dean. I barely ate. I barely slept. I was a ghost of myself, and I floated through each day wondering when I'd gotten so lost," Cas brings his mouth to the crook of Dean's neck, and he kisses the skin with unfiltered adoration, and Dean's breath hitches at how gentle Cas is being.
"Cas…"
The alpha pulls back only a few inches, but he's close enough to where his exhales rush up against Dean's skin in a way that causes goosebumps to rise all over his arms, "I need you, Dean, like air. I've- I've never felt this way about anyone, not even Amelia. My wolf it just- it's never been this riled up about someone before."
"What are you tryin' to say, Cas?" Dean asks with a deliberate roll of his hips, causing a gasp to escape the alpha, "Is it that I'm the best damn thing that your eyes have ever seen?"
"Please don't quote Avril Lavigne while you're grinding on my dick. It truly ruins the moment."
Dean smirks, and going by the slight narrowing of Cas' eyes, he knows that the hybrid is up to something, "Ah, come on, Cas. Isn't that the magic of this relationship? I could be bleating out Nickleback verses, and I'd still be able to get lil' Cas up, wouldn't I?"
"Dean-"
He chuckles, "I know, I'm playing with fire here. But I never said that I didn't like things hot."
Cas looks like he's looking at someone else, "Dean, I- I-"
"Aw, look at you, all flustered n' stuff. Who knew that the alpha of many words would be stuttering over himself like a first-timer?"
Dean suddenly finds his back on the bed with Cas looming above him, gritting out, "I know what I'm doing, Dean. I'm not a virgin."
Dean laughs, "Oh yeah, and neither am I, but you don't see me braggin' about it," Dean pulls Cas in a little closer with a smile stretching his lips, "Now, how about we put our experiences to good use, yeah?"
Cas' pupils widen instantly, and his tongue darts out to wet his lips, "Dean…"
"I know that we wanted to put it off, but…" Dean grunts as he rolls his hips again, but this time, into Cas' own, causing the alpha to growl a small warning that sounds weak, "I swear, Cas, I'm about to die from sexual frustration over here."
"But we can't, Dean," his face falls into the crook of the hybrid's neck, and he takes deep breaths as he speaks, "But I also want to. I really, really want to."
Dean groans, but out of frustration, and he throws his head back onto the mattress in irritation, "Ugh, come on, Cas. Don't be like that. Just- can we have like… a quickie?"
"No."
"Hand job?"
"No…"
"Blow job?"
"N-No…"
"Rim job?"
"Dean," Cas grits out, "Please… We shouldn't- it's not- I can't."
Dean smirks, "All these job offers, and yet you still wanna work towards abstinence."
The alpha groans, and his face practically buries itself into Dean's collarbone, "Why are you making this so hard, Dean?"
"Because, I'm a stubborn little shit."
"Duly noted."
Dean sighs, "But I'm serious, Cas… Can't we just have a lil' fun?"
He shakes his head, "I don't want to risk it, Dean. There's too much on the line here. Something could happen, and I don't want to be caught up- well, I shouldn't have to explain why I think it'll be stupid of us to be 'busy' when everything is so dire and unpredictable."
"So that's a no?"
Going by the look on the alpha's face as he pulls back, Dean knows that there's no chance in Hell that he's going to be able to change Cas' mind- at least, for right now.
"Well, shit…" he murmurs in defeat.
"It's not that I don't want to, Dean. It really isn't. It's just- I want better circumstances."
Dean shakes his head, "No, it's fine. I get it. Our little world here is falling apart, and here I am, begging you to fuck me over and over like some horny teenager."
Cas' cheeks darken with a deep shade of pink that could almost be red if it weren't for its rosy hue. The alpha's tongue darts out to wet his lips again, and Dean is about to make a comment about how wrecked Cas looks- with his ruffled hair and his wild eyes- when a kiss cuts him off.
It isn't gentle like the first couple have been. No, it's rough and hot and everything Dean's been asking for from Cas for the past few minutes. The hybrid moans into the kiss, opening his mouth to let in Cas' tongue, and he feels a hand come up to grip onto the skin of his neck- hard. Dean makes a lewd and animalistic noise, his hips jutting upwards without his permission to grind against the alpha's, and even though the friction is perfect, Dean can't help but whine at Cas for the hand to pinch harder. He wants those nails to be digging into his skin- marking him, claiming him- and wait, no, he wants those fingers to be teeth and-
"Dean, I- I can't-" Cas sounds just as wrecked as he looks, and there's a growl bubbling up in his chest, "Shit-"
Something snaps in Dean- something feral- because he's gripping onto Cas' hand to add more force into the hold on his skin. Cas looks at Dean as the hybrid pants, breath hot and moist as it passes over his lips and ghosts against the other werewolf's face. In fact, he stares in awe as Dean forces Cas' nails to break the skin, and a low moan rumbles out of Dean's chest at the thought of Cas marking him up as his own.
"D-Dean-"
"Please, Cas," Dean begs with desperation, his voice cracked and wanton, and he wonders how he must look to the alpha right now, "Oh god- please- I need you to just- it's not enough!"
"Dean, you can't- this isn't how this is supposed to work…"
Dean is about to cry from how much he needs this, "I just- please! You know what I need, Cas. Please, I can't last much longer without it!"
"I- I shouldn't have grabbed onto your neck like that, Dean," Cas begins to pull back, and Dean whines at him, "I must have triggered your mating drive or something else…"
The hybrid tries to get a hold of Cas' arm as he retreats, but he's shaking so much that he can't grip onto the other werewolf's arm, "Please, Cas. Please don't leave me. I can't be abandoned again- not after…"
Dean trails off while Cas looks stricken.
"I'm not leaving you, Dean, I just- I can't be around you right now. Not when you're trying to make me claim you."
Dean moans lowly at the word, nearly curling in on himself as his neck stings from healing, "The marks. T-They aren't lasting, Cas…"
"They're not supposed to," the alpha murmurs, "It's not an actual mating mark."
Dean shakes his head, "It's because I'm not good enough for an actual one, is it?"
"What-"
"There's no need to wait. It's because Alistair ruined me for you, isn't it? I'm not a pure omega like you want me to be-"
"Stop degrading yourself, Dean! None of that is true! I just want you to be safe!"
Dean laughs, the sound unbalanced and sickly, "Oh, maybe it's because I'm broken, right? I mean, Zachariah really did a number on me, didn't he?"
Cas looks at Dean with concern, "You aren't being yourself…"
"Maybe that's because I was drugged out of my mind for two months, Cas! I thought I was only gone for a week!" Dean sits up in the bed, his neck throbbing as he yells, and his brain feels foggy as hormones and emotions just rush through him and make him practically bipolar, "I come back, and I find out that I've been gone for so long, and that Gabe is on the brink of death while he's fucking pregnant with my brother's kid, and here you and I are- just dancing around each other like kids before prom night! Except it's not prom that's keeping us apart, it's a man who wants to kidnap and torture me- again! The fucked up part is that I can't even remember what he did the first time around!"
Cas takes a careful step forward, "Dean, please calm down."
"I don't think I can, Cas! I mean, I've been here for a little around a week, and I haven't even had a well-earned break down until now! I should be freaking out- I should be having nightmares! But I'm not! No, I'm just sitting here trying to jump on your dick!"
"Dean-"
"What does that say about me, Cas!? I get treated like a sixth grade science experiment, and I all am after that is practically a desperate omega!" Dean calms for a moment, "I haven't even cried about it, Cas… I've read some of the files and you've told me things. I know some of what they did to me… I haven't even reacted properly until now."
Cas is beside Dean almost suddenly, but the hybrid knows it's because he's too busy staring at his hand that has his own blood on it, "Dean, what are you trying to say right now?"
Dean sighs, "I don't- I don't know, exactly. I feel bipolar almost. Like there's several people in my head…"
"Do you think this might have to do with our training?"
"It might be related, but I don't know for sure," Dean takes a breath and leans against his mate, "I'm sorry for being so off right now…"
Cas takes a hand and begins petting Dean's hair softly, "It's not your fault. You've gone through so much in such a short expanse of time. It would drive anyone insane."
The hybrid closes his eyes and relaxes into the touches, "You're such a gentlemen when I'm not one. You just forgive me so easily, like it's nothing."
"You've gone through traumatic experiences, Dean. Besides, I wouldn't be surprised if something got affected by our mental escapades."
"I know, but I shouldn't be acting like this," Dean begins, "It's just- I shouldn't be pushing you or myself to mate just right now, either. I know better than that."
Cas pulls Dean in a little closer, "I triggered your mating drive, Dean. I let my wolf get into my head a little, and… it just happened. I shouldn't have gripped onto you like that knowing what it would entitle."
Dean snorts, "Well, it looks like both of us don't have our head in the game… Troy would be so disappointed."
"I don't understand. Who is Troy?"
"Nothing," Dean says, but under his next breath he whispers, "Wildcats."
Cas apparently doesn't hear, because he's speaking about something other than High School Musical, "We need to get back on track, Dean."
The hybrid sighs, "Yeah, you're right… Sorry."
"We need to focus on practicing your powers again, because I'm sure that Zachariah is not that far behind from us."
Dean shivers, "Ugh, I just wish that bastard would leave me alone…"
"As do I, but I'm not taking any chances this time around. When he shows up, I want to send him off with his tail between his legs."
"I like it when you get all alpha-y on other people. S'hot."
"Dean, focus."
The younger werewolf sighs, "Yeah, yeah… Got it."
The alpha stands then, walking over to his desk as Dean watches him, "I've gathered a few things so far, just in case. It's not enough or as much as we need or I'd like to have, but it's better than nothing, I suppose."
Cas comes back with a file of papers that is about as thick as Dean's fingernail is long, "Wait- you're tellin' me that this is just like… a fraction of what we need?"
"Yes."
"Have you even slept in the past few days?" Dean asks, because shit- Cas would've had to push himself to get this much information in a three days or so.
"Yes, but it was barely even anything worth labeling," he begins, "I'm afraid that worrying about losing your mate and your brother will cause some insomnia."
Dean makes a soft whining noise, "Shit, Cas… You should've said something. I'm sure you're still exhausted."
Cas shakes his head, "I'm fine, Dean. I still have a few things to do before I can even consider sleeping."
"You shouldn't be forcing yourself to stay awake, Cas…" Dean murmurs, "How about I take a look into things while you sleep, yeah? I mean, I've gotten about three day's worth, so I'm good to go."
"Are you sure?"
Dean scoffs, "Of course I am, Cas. Besides, you look like you're about to pass out either way."
Cas sighs and rubs at his face, "Alright, I'll sleep for a few hours if it puts your mind at ease."
"It will," Dean assures easily.
"Wake me up if anything happens," Cas orders, his voice gruff.
The hybrid salutes his mate as he lays down on the bed, "Gotcha, Cas! Give me a few hours, and I'll have a shit ton more in this lil' folder here. And hey, when you wake up, you and I can go try some mental stuff again."
Cas snorts, "Looking forward to it."
Dean ends up skipping out of the room just as Cas, ironically, passes out.
…
Dean wasn't kidding when he said that he'd get a whole lot more added to their evidence packet. He's already run out of paper twice, and he's sure that the printer is beeping and coming to a halt over low ink levels.
"Rest now, printer," Dean jokes, blowing air onto the over-heated and whining plastic, "You've earned it."
The machine gives an audible sigh of relief as it powers down, and Dean's sure he can hear things ticking inside of it- like a car would after you turn it off and it's cooling down. Huh, weird.
Dean places the newest two-hundred-something sheets into the folder, and he grunts as he lifts it.
"Sorry trees," he murmurs, "I've probably killed about twenty of you just for a medical report…"
Dean doesn't know if that's either terrifying or depressing. Maybe both.
"Dean?"
The hybrid looks up to see Sammy leaning onto the doorframe almost pitifully, "Did something go wrong?"
"No, it's just-" Sammy huffs a breath, "I need to sleep, Dean. I mean, I've pushed myself for a while now, and my reserves for my reserves are running low right now. It's bad."
"How bad?"
"I passed out while walking over here."
Dean nods, "Yeah, um, that's kind of- just get your ass in bed. God damn, you alphas are going to be the death of me."
Sammy looks utterly grateful as he stumbles down the hallway, and Dean progresses to Gabe's room with a sigh.
Betas stare at him as he passes by, and Dean ignores them in favor of focusing on his packet of paper in his hands. It keeps him busy enough, and his mind is off of those lingering eyes as he enters Gabe's room.
"Dean-o… You're still here."
Dean's eyes snap up, "Of course I am… Why, did you think that I disappeared or somethin'?
Gabe shrugs, and it's when Dean notices just how sickly the omega looks, "Nah, I just thought you were a fever mirage or somethin'. You know- gettin' a lil' wacky 'cause I feel like I'm dyin'?"
"I think we're all a little wacky right now, Gabe. Things… things aren't great around here."
"So I've noticed," Gabe murmurs, and he closes his eyes for a moment, "You know, being pregnant feels weird…"
Dean snorts, "I would imagine so. I mean, you've got a little person- or wolf- growin' in you. I would think that would warrant some… unusual, feelings."
Gabe sighs, but it sounds almost happy, and he laughs lightly, "Yeah… I think it's also because I never imagined finding an alpha that I'd stick it with. Well, stick it without my middle finger in the air."
The hybrid chuckles, "Ain't that the truth… So, um… I've been meaning to ask you… What happened between you and Sammy?"
"Oh, now that's a long and inappropriate story," Gabe huffs a breath, and he opens his eyes to look at Dean, "Are you sure you wanna know?"
"I don't want to have the mental image of you two… doing things, but I would like to know some of what happened. I mean, before I got snatched, I thought you two were just friends."
Gabe snorts, "Nah, Dean, we'd already left that relationship territory around then. I'm guessin' that Sasquatch only told you a rough draft's worth of what went on between us?"
"I only know about the partial heat thing," Dean answers, looking away with blush burning on his cheeks, "You were sickly, and we were in a rush, so I don't know much more than that."
The omega smiles widely when Dean meets his gaze, "Dean, it was nice. Let me tell you now, there is nothing in this world like heat sex-"
"Please cut to the chase here, Gabe. I don't think I can handle the description of my brother's 'mad sex skills'."
God- it's hard enough just to say Sammy and sex in the same sentence; Dean shivers in disgust.
"Okay, settle down there, Dean-o. This isn't gonna kill you… I don't think so, anyway," Gabe settles himself a little, and his voice is soft when he speaks, "I never wanted an alpha before this, so… I mean, getting with Sam-Sam… I don't know, Dean… Things just happened."
Dean says nothing.
"It all began after Cassie had you in the room, and you just passed out from your little heat flare thing," Gabe looks away, and Dean can tell that he's uncharacteristically flustered, "It sort of triggered my own, in a way. Sam was there, I was- well, needy- and we ended up going back to Sam's room."
Dean makes a face, knowing what's coming up next.
"Don't be like that," Gabe scolds, but he rolls his eyes and goes on, "Anyways, I just sort of- well, I just let Sam take me. I think it's because I'd been harboring feelings for the giant since I met him, sort of, and that it was kind of a personal treat to myself. I mean, I've held out from hooking up with alphas for so long that I'd kinda forgotten what is was like to be with one."
"Why is that?" Dean blurts.
The omega looks down, and his scent sours more, "I had a bad experience with one… It was before Cassie and I had our own pack, and this- this dickwad-" Gabe hisses the word out, and his hands turn into fists against the bedspread, "tried tellin' me that I was gonna 'sire his pups' and that I 'was going to be the alpha's mate'. It was bullshit, but he thought he could trap me into that kind of thing because we were just changed then, and I didn't know what was what at the time."
"What did you do?"
"Cassie and I kicked his ass, of course," Gabe's smile falters, "but that was after… that was after the first time."
Dean's saliva feels like hot tar down his throat, "Shit, Gabe… You- you didn't have to say anything-"
"No, I did," the omega asserts, sitting up a little straighter, "It's what made me so wary of alphas, and it's what made my brother the pack leader. If it weren't for Castiel… Fuck- I'd more than likely still be in that situation with three kids on my lap and one in my belly."
The lack of Cas' nickname makes Dean realize just how serious Gabe is being, "Cas saved you?"
"Yes, and he accomplished more for me than I did for myself," Gabe sighs, "Either way, it made me only want to trust Cassie, and I refused to be with any alpha after that."
"Well, until you met my brother, apparently."
Gabe nods, "Yes… He's just so- different. He's kinder, and he respects me as a person rather than thinking of me as nothing but a live sex toy or breeding factory. It's a reprieve from all of the other sexist bullshit I've faced. That's why I gave in."
Dean looks down towards the floor for a moment, his voice quiet, "D-Do you regret it?"
"You mean that I regret sleeping with him and getting pregnant? No, I don't. Fuck no, I don't. There's no way that I could, not when… not when I've found that I wanted this."
"You said that you didn't-"
"I used to despise omegas who gave in to their instincts, or at least, I hated the stereotype of us being barefoot and pregnant. I didn't want to be that in real life… But, with Sam, I realized that there's so much more, and that I don't have to be ashamed of it. I've found that, while weird at first, being pregnant, it's- …" Gabe's hand drops to his abdomen, "Fuck, Dean… It's like a goddamn miracle."
Dean raises his eyebrows at that in surprise.
"I know that it sounds so unlike me to tell you that, but it's true, Dean. It's just- I've never felt this important or something, because I'm creating a little life inside of me and it's just-" fat tears line the bottom edges of Gabe's eyes, "God, Dean, it's so much and so little all at once."
Dean comes over to attempt to console the omega, "Hey, it's alright."
Gabe nods, and a few tears roll down his cheeks, "I know it is, but, Dean. I'm serious. I just- I've never felt so loved in my life before, and it's all because of this lil' guy or gal right here and because I'm with your brother. It's all I ever could've wanted."
"Who knew that you'd take to being a dad like a duck would to water?" Dean jokes, and it gets a chuckle out of Gabe.
"Definitely not me," he wipes away a few tears with a smile, "I'm sorry that I'm all over the place today. I'm afraid that I'm a lil' hormonal at the moment."
"S'fine," Dean returns the grin, "You feelin' any better?"
Gabe shrugs, "As best as I can be right now, I guess. What about you? I'm sure that things have been… interesting, lately."
The hybrid snorts, "Yeah, I guess that they have been… I mean, so much happened in such a short time, and well, I'm only trying to get used to it all. It's insane."
"I know, a lot of what's happened came out nowhere. But hey, I'm okay with some of it," with a smile, Gabe pats his stomach lovingly, "Anyways, I've been meaning to ask you… Has anything been happenin' with you and Cassie?"
Dean flushes at that, "Well, sort of? I mean, verbally, we've got things in the bag. Physically? …" Dean trails off for a moment, "We've decided to wait until most of this blows over until we do anything serious like you and Sammy."
"That's not a bad idea, so I'm givin' you two credit where it's deserved… If only, though."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
Gabe pouts, "Dean, my brother, he's- well, you know how he is. His wolf is just under his skin, and I think I'm a pretty good example of that," Dean winces as Gabe pauses to sigh, "Cassie deserves to be able to live the rest of his life without his wolf ruining it for him. I just- I hate seeing him like this, especially knowing that this wasn't how he used to be."
Dean glances down at the floor, "You're talking about before the bite…"
"Yeah…" the other werewolf's voice grows softer, "He was a tax accountant, wore trenchcoats, and was completely and utterly a weirdo. He was nothing but the quintessence of the average Joe, especially when he met Amelia."
Dean tries to not feel hate for the name, especially so whenever his wolf growls along the insides of his skull, begging to be released to keep Cas their mate, and Dean squashes its protest to impede such a thing from happening.
Gabe raises a brow, and going by the look of concern adorning his features, Dean's internal struggle must be apparent, "Do you need me to stop?"
"I'm fine… Keep going," Dean forces himself to say with a smile, and his wolf roars inside of him to give in.
The other werewolf is hesitant at first, but proceeds after a motioning hand from Dean, "Well, I know that he planned on marrying Amelia. He was going to wait a few years or so, but he seemed so excited about it. There was a little twinkle in his eye and a bounce in his step. I was so happy for him after he told me, and to celebrate… I- I-"
"You planned the camping trip…" Dean finishes, and he finds that he's holding back a pitiful howl from his 'hurt' wolf as his nails dig into his thighs painfully.
Gabe doesn't seem to notice the self-conflict this time, because he goes on just as before, "I fucked up everything after that… Cassie lost his job, his to-be-fiance, all because his little brother decided that the woods would be a nice place to relax during the full fucking moon."
The scent of distress has Dean pausing for a moment, especially when he realizes that it's not his own, "Gabe, you need to calm down, okay? This isn't good for you or the baby-"
"Ugh, can't you see it, Dean! I'm at fault! I ruined my brother's life! I should be the one with a ruthless wolf and an ex that I never meant to make!"
Dean would facepalm if he were able, "Gabe, this is just pregnancy hormones talking-"
"Don't belittle me just because I'm pregnant! One day, you might find that hypocritical!"
Dean just gapes.
Gabe crosses his arms and pointedly looks away from Dean, "I've come to accept the fact that it was me who made us go out on that full moon, and I've come to accept the fact that my brother's life was turned upside down because of that. But I will not, Dean Winchester, accept the idea of you not righting my wrongs because I can't do anymore to his life than what I already have."
"W-What?"
"He needs an anchor, Dean- he needs someone who can bring him back from the brink, and I know for sure that it's you."
Dean shakes his head, "Not to be a buzzkill here, Gabe, but last time I checked, Cas nearly lost himself to his wolf because of me."
Gabe waves a hand dismissively, "That's not what I mean, Dean. The point is that he nearly lost control because he thought that he lost you. That's the point, Dean. Cassie is so dependent on you that it scares me sometimes."
"I've noticed…" Dean murmurs, and he looks away, "I- I've got to go, Gabe."
"Wait-" the omega grips onto Dean's wrist, and even though the vice is one that is easily breakable, Dean allows the other werewolf to stop him, "Dean, don't go just yet. Please."
Dean shakes his head, "Gabe, I can't-"
"You're going to sit down, and you're going to listen to me, dammit. I don't care about any personal angst that you have, alright? There's no room for it- now's not the time to go digging shit up. In case you haven't noticed, things are a little fucked right now, and not in the good way, either, so I need you to pay the fuck attention when I tell you that you're probably the only thing that can keep this all from completely falling apart."
Dean gapes at Gabe for a moment, but he sits down nonetheless. Besides, Gabe's stare is pretty intimidating, even if he looks so sickly.
"I get it, okay?" Gabe begins, and his gaze is narrow as he looks up from under his eyelashes with dull eyes, "I know that you're not used to the idea of someone being utterly dependent on you- especially when their humanity is what's on the line. I get that you're still dealing with whatever has happened in these past few months, and that it hasn't been easy on you. But fuck, Dean, it hasn't been easy on any of us. We've been suffering right alongside you. Don't belittle what's happened to any of us because you're terrified of the unknown and the foreign. We need you to step up right now, not step down."
"I wasn't abandoning you guys, if that's what you're thinking…" Dean mutters softly as he averts his gaze, "It's just- this is a lot to do, Gabe. I come back and everything's broken. I come back and you all are expecting me to mend the cracks and to fill the gaps left by a dick named Zachariah or by something we've all lost along the way. I know that shit is tough- I know that none of us have had a break in a long, long time- but that doesn't mean that I'm abandoning ship just because we've got a few leaks in our hull."
Gabe pauses for a moment, causing Dean to look up.
The omega regards the hybrid with curious eyes as his head tilts. He seems to study Dean for some time- searching, looking- for something that Dean cannot see. As Gabe nods slowly, Dean thinks that maybe he found what he sought after.
"I can see why you're my brother's mate now."
Dean makes a face, "What's that supposed to mean?"
Gabe rolls his eyes lightly, and he yawns before speaking, "Not what you're thinking, apparently. What I meant by it is that I can see why my brother and his wolf chose you, is all."
"Care to collaborate on that?"
The omega sighs, and he lets his head fall lightly into the cushiony surface of his pillow as his hand rests over his abdomen, "Mates are supposed to be an equal."
"Equal?" Dean echoes, "Sorry, Gabe, you need to say a little more than just five words for me here."
Gabe's lips perk in a small smirk, but his eyes remain closed as he begins to whisper, "Our wolves want a mate that can back us up when we're in need of help, and our wolves want a mate who can put us back into place when we're in need of a reality check. In short, our wolves need someone who can keep us together but pull us apart at the same time. It's like ying and yang. Dark and light. Yesterday and tomorrow all wrapped up in today. Mates are opposites that compliment each other and make each other whole."
"Romantic," Dean comments.
Gabe snorts, "Isn't it always? Either way, Dean, you're the quintessence of my brother's opposite, but his familiar all at once."
"Isn't that a little counterproductive, though?" Dean asks, "I mean, sure, it's nice for me to be different than him, but how am I the same at, well, the same time?"
"That's the thing, Dean. No one really knows. No one really gets it. Mates just- happen. They're not in your life one second, and then they're by your side forever within the next. Most of the time, it comes without some much as a warning."
The hybrid sighs, "That's not very helpful."
"If you want answers, research. I know much, but not all, Dean Winchester."
"I'll keep that in mind for later," Dean says, and Gabe chuckles quietly until it floats off into a light snore.
With that, Dean leaves the tiny room with a mild frown stretching his lips and a scowl gracing his features.
…
"You look upset. Why?"
Dean jumps and drops the box of cereal that he had been getting out of the pantry, and he turns to see Cas staring at him.
"Hi there, Cas. Nice to know that you're here and all."
"That doesn't answer my question, Dean… Why are you upset?"
Cas takes a step forward, and Dean looks away.
As the hybrid bends down to pick up his Apple Jacks, he can hear the subtle growl from the alpha behind him, which makes him flush slightly as he answers, "I talked to Gabe, is all."
"He didn't insult you or anything, did he?" Cas grits out, and Dean yelps as he comes up to suddenly find his face full of angered alpha, "I know that sometimes my brother has quite the mouth on him-"
"No, Cas, Gabe didn't insult me if that's what you're thinking," Dean sighs and walks past his mate, "We just talked."
Cas doesn't seem to be mollified with this answer, "What did you two discuss?"
As the hybrid comes over to a counter, he pauses.
Should he tell Cas the truth? Should he tell Cas about how they're all worried that his control over his wolf may fray at any moment? That Gabe thinks that Dean should be the one to fix the seams because, as Cas' mate, that's what he's supposed to do when the frail and the important things break?
He'd try to focus on finding the answer to such rhetorical questions, but a mysterious thudding keeps him from being able to pinpoint anything other than the frantic beat. In some amount of frustration, Dean grips onto the edge of the counter top roughly, and he takes deep breaths to try and ignore the raging tempo that's assaulting his eardrums.
A hand places itself along the curve of his shoulder, and the gentle touch makes Dean turn his head to see Cas looking at him softly.
"You smell terrified," the alpha murmurs, and it's then that Dean realizes that the erratic thudding has been his heartbeat this whole time.
It's also when Dean's knees give out, and he finds himself swarmed with an overwhelming sense of panic.
"Dean!" Cas is at eye level in seconds as Dean's ass hits the floor with some amount of force.
The world around the hybrid swims slightly, tilting on its axis a few more degrees than necessary- and wow- the feeling of just overall "off-ness" that this is giving Dean makes him want to hurl chunks.
"Dean, speak to me, please," Cas pleads, "Tell me what's wrong-"
Dean grips onto his mate's arm tightly, closing his eyes at the tsunami's worth of anxiety that pours through him. Cas gasps in shock as their skin makes contact.
Without warning, the dark canvas of Dean's eyelids are alight with a frightening scene.
Cas is his in his wolf form, snarling at the top of his lungs as his lips pull back to show his deadly array of canines. It's then, though, that Dean realizes that they are dripping with blood. Fresh battle wounds and faint scars litter and stain the alpha's raven coat in a way that's similar to a garnet in light- mostly black, but with a sudden spot of stark and distinctive shade of crimson or scarlet wherever the fur is illuminated.
Behind Cas' murderous roar, the sounds of gore and bloodshed rage on- as if a war is being fought around the werewolf. Smoke bellows up in tall, shapeless pillars that swirl around a snowfall of ash. The scent of fire and putrid decay hits Dean's nose like a freight train, and the hybrid finds himself gagging from how his nostrils burn and his stomach lurches at the realism of whatever the hell he is seeing at the moment.
However, fear replaces disgust as Cas' eyes fall onto Dean. The pupils are no longer blue, but rather a void of black and red- as distant and cold as the night sky without its speckles of stars. Dean gasps from fear, and he begins to crawl away as the wolf- not Cas, as Dean has come to realize- charges forward, its paws thudding into the soggy ground as it kicks up mud with a thunderous noise.
Just as the wolf leaps with its jaws open to attack, the nightmare ends abruptly, leaving Dean with a scream dying off his in throat as tears roll of his cheeks.
"Dean," Cas' voice sounds just as horrified as Dean feels, "W-What was that? …"
Dean opens his eyes to find Cas sprawled on the floor beside him, breathing heavily as his eyes dart back and forth over nothing at all in panic.
"Y-You saw that too? …"
"It must have been the bond," the alpha murmurs, more so to himself, "But that doesn't- why would- …" he trails off.
Dean scurries over to Cas, finding that the alpha is trembling and panting out roughly, "Hey, come on, Cas. Breathe with me."
The alpha's eyes dart over to Dean's own, and the irises- still blue, thank god- are pleading for answers. Dean's lips set themselves in a fine line, and he brings up his hands to cup his mate's face gently.
"It's okay, Cas, it's okay-"
"No it's not, Dean," the alpha chokes out, and Dean realizes that, shockingly, the alpha is on the verge of tears, "What we saw- that was- that was me, Dean. I could- I could tell that it was me."
The hybrid tilts his head, and his eyes narrow from the wave of hurt- of complete shame and humiliation- he feels through their bond. Dean presses their foreheads together, hoping, that in some way, the proximity will bring Cas some sense of comfort.
"Look, I don't know why whatever that was happened, but I do know that it wasn't real, alright? Last time I checked, you're still you."
Cas pushes Dean away, making the hybrid feel somewhat hurt at the rejection, "But for how long, Dean? How long until that is me?"
There it is- the question that no one really wants to answer, but then again, no one knows how to in the first place. Dean sure as hell doesn't know what to say, and he knows what his silence is implying. The alpha seems to be aware of this, because he pushes Dean away further, and he stands up on shaky knees, using the counter for support.
The hybrid fights back tears as Cas' back faces him, his shoulders tense and his free hand balled up into fist. A scent of disappointment fills the air, and the drowning feeling of betrayal rushes into Dean's chest through the bond and chokes him.
"When does someone know when they are more of a beast than a man?" Cas begins, voice bitter and harsh, "Is it when he loses control? Is it when morals blur and lines are crossed no matter where he steps? Is it when those around him fear him instead of love him?"
Dean looks up at Cas, knowing that he probably looks like a mess. All in all, Dean feels like a pile of shit that just happened to be left on the floor.
"If I knew that my wolf was going to be so problematic- so violent- that even my own mate fears me, then I would've let that damn stray kill me that night instead of letting him change me," there's a venomous laugh from the alpha, and it makes Dean shiver, "It would've been a favor if he hadn't done the latter."
With that, Cas leaves, and Dean stays.
…
"What did you do this time?"
Dean groans as he throws a towel into a washer with more force than necessary, "Why is it always my fault whenever Cas and I fight? Besides, don't you have something better to do with your time, Sam?"
The younger Winchester makes a pouty noise, "Don't be like that, Dean. I was just asking. I mean, you usually do go off and say things to the guy that get under his skin. That's just who you are."
"Shut up," Dean says without much fire, and he sighs as he shuts the lid to the washing machine to start it, "It's- I didn't do anything this time- or, at least, not anything on purpose."
"Dean…" it's said as a scold.
The hybrid pivots to look at his brother with a glare, "It really wasn't, okay? Something just- happened- and it freaked Cas and I out."
Suddenly, Sammy doesn't seem as on Dean's case as before, and his brows are furrowed with confusion, "What do you mean by that, Dean?"
"I was having a panic attack and Cas grabbed onto my arm to calm me down, I don't know, but-" Dean remembers the scene as if it were happening once again- the blood, the smoke, the deafening roar- and he shivers, "Some… some vision, about how he'd- shit, Sammy, he'd gone rogue in it."
Sammy pales a little at that, and he takes a step forward, his voice serious, "Dean, what happened in this vision?"
"There was just- there was fire and ash, blood and what seemed like a war going on in the background… But Cas… He was roaring like his life depended on it, and- he- he looked at me and charged… The vision ended right before his teeth clamped down around my neck."
Sammy seems to contemplate something for a few moments, "Does Cas know about it?"
"Yes. He was holding onto me while it happened, and I think that our bond- and before you ask about it, it's a mental one- allowed this thing to pass through it, and Cas saw exactly what I was seeing as it happened."
"Shit," Sammy curses, "Any idea to where he's gone off to?"
Dean shakes his head and turns away from his baby brother, "No clue, but… I know that he doesn't want to see me."
There's a growl from the other alpha, "Dean, if he blames you for the vision then I'm going to-"
"No, he doesn't blame me for that… He blames me for being unable to answer his question…"
"Question?" Sammy echoes.
The hybrid closes his eyes to try and hold back the tears, and it certainly doesn't help whenever Dean can picture the look in Cas' eyes as he waited for an answer that Dean doesn't think he could ever give, "He asked about going rogue, Sammy… I- I froze up, and I didn't really answer him… I think he believes that I'm terrified of him, and that I'm expectin' him to go rogue at any moment on us. Sammy, I'm pretty sure that he thinks that I don't trust him."
Arms wrap themselves around Dean, and when their grips tighten along his torso, Dean realizes that he's shaking from small sobs.
"It's okay, Dean, it's not your fault-"
"That's what I told him, and he didn't believe me because I couldn't tell him-" Dean's cut off by a muffled wail, "S-Sammy, what have I done?"
"The right thing," Sammy murmurs, and he keeps holding on to his brother as he falls apart.
…
The forest has always brought some sense of comfort to Castiel, but even now, with the lingering thought of Dean's fear- of his doubt- the gentle sway of the trees and the hushed murmurs of nocturnal insects bring no solace to the alpha.
He squirms on the mossy ground in frustration, knowing that bits of leaves and other dead foliage are getting ground into his coat. Normally, he would refrain from getting those pieces of decaying plant embedded into his fur, but as of right now, he can't find a reason to truly care for such a thing.
The alpha snorts, and looks up.
The moon is bright and heavy, and it fills some of the night sky with a blinding light. Stars flicker around the ghostly orb, as if they glitter among the tendrils of luminescence offered by the giant.
Castiel stares at it, long and hard, and he wonders when such a distant rock- one that floats so aimlessly through space alongside its far larger and livelier companion- came to reign so callously over his life.
A rumble grows inside of his chest, which, in turn, becomes a growl, and then a snarl, and then, a full on roar.
The alpha screams at the moon- cursing it, damning it- for all that it's caused him and for all that it's cost him. He cries for his loss of his Amelia and his former life. He yowls for the loss of trust from Dean, and with it, the loss of acceptance from the one person who matters more than anyone else on the face of the Earth. But finally, as his howl shifts into that of an anguished wail, Castiel begins to sob for his loss of control.
The lunar tyrant, however, is not moved by such an emotional act of defiance and betrayal. It hangs among the stars just as impassively as it had before, towering over the alpha just like it has been since it gained its control after that fateful camping trip.
It leaves Castiel feeling hollow and spent, and his legs give out from underneath him as defeat snakes its way into his throat.
Castiel is about to give up when a familiar scent reaches his nose.
"Cas…"
The alpha doesn't turn to face his mate, which, in some ways, makes him feel almost pathetic, and in others, makes him feel immature. Either way, he knows that he's being just as callous as the moon above him, and he feels none the better for it.
However, Dean doesn't seem to be impeded by Castiel's actions, because the alpha suddenly feels another form begin to rest by his own.
Without meaning to, broken whimpers begin to escape him, and his muzzle buries itself desperately into the warm, soft coat of his mate.
"I didn't mean whatever you thought I was saying when I didn't answer you," Dean whispers, and he presses himself closer to Castiel's body, "I'm not afraid of you, and I'm not afraid of your wolf. I'm only afraid of losing you, Cas. You've got to understand that."
Castiel doesn't reply, but rather, he closes his eyes and breathes in the scent of Dean- leather, oil, and spice.
Dean gives a small whine as more time passes without a word from the other werewolf, and he snuggles closer to his mate. He begins to lick at Castiel's leg until the alpha gets the hint, and after some space has been put between them, Dean begins to bathe Castiel's face with affectionate lapses of his tongue.
After a few moments of getting concern poured all over him, Castiel finds Dean curling back up against his form. The hybrid has a small whine building in his chest, and it's then that Castiel realizes that he hasn't moved or done anything in quite some time. To calm Dean's frayed nerves, the alpha sets his head over the curve of Dean's neck and rumbles, softly ordering Dean to calm down and to close his eyes.
It takes a few tense moments for the two of them, but it's how they both fall asleep.
…
(Day 6)
When Dean wakes up, it's to the feeling of fire.
At first, Dean thinks that it might be from a random heat or something else, but as a familiar roar reaches his ears, he realizes that just isn't the case.
In fact, when Dean opens his eyes, he finds himself sprawled out among bits of charred wood and crumbs of bricks. The space around him is not the meadow that he fell asleep with Cas in- no, it's similar to that of a war zone.
"Cas?" Dean gets up on unsteady knees as rocks and debris sound about him, and he realizes then that he's in the remnants of what seems to be one of the rooms from the pack house.
Dust assaults Dean's lungs, causing him to cough and to cover his mouth as a few bricks fall to the ground beside him with heavy thwacks.
"Cas?" Dean stumbles forward then, noticing that his ankle can't support weight, and that there's something dripping down his hand, "W-What? …"
Dean looks down to find crimson dripping off from his fingertips and onto the wreckage below. For a second, he panics, and he looks up his arm to find that a gash along his shoulder is causing the bleeding. He hisses as he presses a hesitant palm up to it. The pressure from his hand causes some blood to seep in between his fingers, and the slickness of the liquid makes Dean's already queasy stomach roll in protest. For a moment, Dean's confused as to why he isn't healing until he realizes that his wolf his unusually silent. He must be human in this, then... Weird.
However, as a sickening snap brings Dean's attention towards something in front of him, he realizes that there are more pressing matters than just his arm to deal with.
Another wolf stands before Dean this time, however. Its brown fur is darkened by blood and rain, and its chest heaves with ragged breaths as its dark eyes stare Dean down.
A breath gets stuck in Dean's throat at the sight.
"Sammy?"
The alpha before him growls, its upper lip twitching to show its teeth in warning. Dean tries to raise out a placating hand, but as a snarl escapes his baby brother, it's then that the last part of the puzzle pieces falls into place.
Just like Cas had been in the other vision, Sammy is rogue.
"Sammy…" Dean whispers, his voice shaky with shock and fear as the alpha begins to charge towards him.
However, when Sammy's only a few inches away from reaching Dean, a blur goes past Dean's eyes to knock the werewolf away from him.
Pained barks and howls reach Dean's ears, making his skin crawl as he looks over to see an entanglement of ruddy brown and sleek black.
Dean screams as he sees the two hash it out harder than they ever have, with teeth puncturing flesh with force, with skin getting torn and ripped away with intent. Even more blood soaks into the fur of the two wolves, and Dean begins to cry as he sees them rip each other apart.
"Cas! Sammy!" Dean wails, his voice breaking from the volume and strain he's putting it under, and his throat aches in agony from the treatment its receiving from its owner, "Stop!"
The vision ends.
…
Hands place themselves onto Dean's form, and with a shout, Dean begins to try and throw them off.
"Let go! I can't let them kill each other!" Dean screams while he keeps his eyes closed, finding that he's far too fearful of what might be past the safety of his eyelids, "I've got to stop them!"
"Got to stop who, Dean!?" Cas shouts, causing Dean to stop fighting back almost instantly.
"C-Cas? …"
Dean opens his eyes to see the alpha pinning him to the ground with a look of concern, "Dean, you must have been having a nightmare, and with how you've been reacting… It must have been a very vivid one, I'm afraid."
Dean lets his head hit the mossy ground below with a defeated thump, "You have no idea…"
"Are you going to tell me about it?"
The hybrid sighs and tries to wipe at his face, but he finds that his hands are kept against the ground by the wrist by one of Cas'. Dean groans quietly with irritation at the hold, but he decides that calming his heartbeat is more prudent than anything else.
"Dean," Cas warns.
Oh yeah, put answers on that list too.
"It was another vision thing," Dean begins, and when Cas begins to pull away, Dean uses one of his freed hands to stall the alpha from leaving, "It was different, Cas… It's not like what you're thinking, I swear."
Cas seems to still after that, but he doesn't look at Dean as he speaks, "What did I do this time?"
Dean makes a face at how hurt Cas sounds- as if Dean's dream was an insult of the highest degree. Not only that, there's a certain, specific kind of sting that comes with the fact that Cas doesn't seem to believe Dean whenever he says that he isn't at fault.
Aren't mates supposed to trust one another?
"Well, this might surprise you, but- …" Cas seems to perk up for a second, "You saved me, Cas."
The alpha turns slowly at that, and he chances to glance at Dean out of the corner of his eye, "I didn't leap at you?"
"It was Sammy that was trying to get me," Dean corrects softly, and he can't suppress the shudder that passes through him as he recalls the sight from the dream- Sammy's jaw outstretched as far as it can go, deadly and precise teeth centimeters away from snapping shut around Dean's throat.
Cas does seem to be shocked at the identity reveal, "I wasn't the one who- … What else was different?"
"It- it started out with me in some destroyed room of the pack house…"
Dean begins to explain the dream, or whatever the hell it was, to Cas in extreme detail. He tells the alpha about his wounds, about how he was human, about how the air smelled, about how the ground was uneven against his feet because of all the debris. The other werewolf seems to be enraptured in what Dean is drawing out for him, and with every explanation and or description, Cas' eyes furrow and squint in thought.
"… But then you barreled into him and got him away from me, and that's when you two started fighting to the death… I woke up after that, and well, you know the rest."
"I think something might be going on."
Dean rolls his eyes lightly, "Yeah, no shit, Sherlock."
The alpha gives Dean a look, "You know what I mean… Do you think that this might have something to do with unlocking your abilities?"
"Uh, I haven't thought of that," Dean murmurs, "But I don't understand why these things would be related to any of that. I've been something close to a newbie since I gained them. It doesn't make sense that I should be getting visions when I've barely broken that stuff in."
"Maybe that's the point," Cas begins, "You did just start to explore them, so maybe this is a side effect?"
Dean looks away from Cas then, "But… I mean, why visions? Are they visions? Cas, they could just be nightmares for all we know. We're probably looking too much into it."
Cas sighs and looks away, "That may be so, but I'm not taking any chances, Dean. This could be a sign of something that could happen. Maybe it's even a mixture of your fears and something precognitive."
"Well, shit, I'm the next Raven Symoné, aren't I?"
"Dean…"
"Yeah yeah, I get it, it's serious time," Dean grumbles.
Cas pushes his body off of Dean, "Do you have any idea as to why these dream visions are occurring?"
The hybrid sighs as his mate looks at him, "I have no clue, to be honest. They just started happening after I talked to Gabe."
"You know," the alpha murmurs, "you never did tell me what you and my brother discussed about."
"Uh, well-" Dean finds that he's at a loss for words, or at least, good ones, "it was about stuff."
Cas snorts dismissively, "That's helpful."
Dean slaps the back of his head.
"I'm allowed to be a smartass if you are," Cas grimaces, and he rubs at his neck with a light wince.
"Oh, shush."
Cas, however, doesn't get the memo, or if he does, he pointedly ignores it, "I'm actually trying to be serious here, Dean. Whatever you and my brother talked about could have triggered whatever this is."
Dammit, why does Cas have to make sense sometimes?
"Fine," Dean pouts like a small child and looks away in irritation, "it was- well, Gabe was talking about mates, but I didn't understand what he was trying to tell me, exactly. Whenever I asked him about it, he would say 'look it up yourself' or he'd dance around it. Little shit."
Cas raises a brow at his mate, "What was he saying?"
"Just that- if you- if you went- …" Dean trails off for a moment, but either way, he ends up looking Cas in the eye as he gets the words off of his chest, "If you start to go rogue, it's supposed to be me that keeps you from losing yourself."
Cas pales at that.
"I don't know if this- this nightmare, is basically a manifestation of my fear of failing you or not knowing what to do coming true, or- I don't know, Cas, I really don't- but those images… They scare the shit out of me, no matter what caused them."
Cas stands up and begins to walk away, or, at least, that's what Dean thinks the alpha is doing until he shifts into his wolf form.
"Cas?"
The alpha's ears twitch, but that's the only response that Dean gets out of his mate. Instead of coming over or doing the rational thing like talking about whatever the hell is happening inside of Dean's head, the other werewolf sulks.
"Oh wow, Cas, real mature," Dean hisses out, and he stands up himself, "There's shit that needs to be said, Cas- there's shit that we've gotta address. None of that's gonna happen if all you're going to do is whine like a damn-"
Dean suddenly finds himself falling backwards, and with an oomph, he hits the ground. Hard.
For a few moments, all Dean can see is white. He slowly gets his vision back though, even as he coughs so much that oxygen is a fleeting thing. It takes Dean a few seconds to hear the telltale rumble of a very displeased alpha above him.
"What the fuck, Cas!?" Dean winces as he rubs the back of his head, "Stop actin' like a dick!"
The wolf above him growls this time, and Dean resists the urge to flinch at the reminder of his recent visions.
"I don't care if I'm hurting your feelings right now, Cas. You're the alpha here, act like it."
That must be the wrong thing to say apparently, because suddenly, a certain set of teeth begin to gnaw at Dean's throat.
"No, Cas! This is so not the time for that shit!"
After a few seconds pass and Cas still persists on with his whole teething escapade, Dean decides that he's had enough. With some amount of force, Dean punches the wolf off of him.
Cas doesn't seem to like that, because he roars as Dean picks himself up off of the ground with haste. Paws begin to thud against the ground behind Dean, and it's mid-sprint that Dean shifts into his own wolf form.
Dean's wolf side begs him to stop and to say that he's sorry, but Dean, overall, is too stubborn to do such a thing. Especially so when Cas is being an ass and doesn't deserve a goddamn sorry in the first place.
So Dean dodges and weaves his lithe body through the trunks of trees, letting his paws carry him forward to avoid the snarling alpha behind him.
It's just as Dean trips that the hybrid realizes where he is, and without really thinking about it, the wolf throws his body down into the entryway of Meg's den.
Meg is surprised, at the very least, and she's about to ask why Dean's intruding on her den so suddenly when Cas' muzzle begins to snap down into the hole that Dean just finished sliding through.
"What the holy fuck!?" she barks out, and Ruby is woken up at her mother's outburst.
"It's Cas," Dean grits out, looking back to see that the alpha is too far gone with whatever is in his head to really care about the impression that he's giving.
Meg glares at Dean for a second, "Care to explain why you dragged this mess over here?"
"We're fighting," Dean answers quietly so Ruby can't hear, and that's all he tells her just as part of the entryway into the den gives way to Cas' assaulting paws.
However, right before Dean or Meg can stop the alpha from barging his way in, a small wolf pup gets to the other werewolf first.
"Ruby!" Meg darts forward to stop her daughter from confronting Cas just as the tiny pup jumps forward to bite at his leg.
As Cas growls lowly, Dean believes that his worst nightmare might be coming true right before his eyes.
Ruby, despite the frantic calls from her mother, continues to dig her tiny teeth into Cas' leg with a growl.
"Meg, stop," Cas orders in a strained voice, and the wolf pup ends her 'attack' to glare up at him.
"This is no way to be an alpha!" she barks at Cas angrily, causing all of the wolves around her to freeze on the spot, "You're Dean's mate, not his bully!"
Cas stares at the wolf pup before him in complete shock just as Meg rushes forward to grab her by the scruff.
"Cas, let's go… Sorry about the intrusion, Meg. I'll make up for it, I promise…"
"Just go," Meg snaps as her fur bristles wildly, and Dean notices then that her eyes, while alight with anger, are also fearful, "I don't want to hear it right now."
Ruby looks at Dean frantically from between her mother's braced legs with wide eyes, and when Dean meets her gaze, she ducks away as though she was burned with a whine.
"You're scaring my daughter!" Meg hisses, "Fuck off, will you!?"
Dean hangs his tail between his legs as he exits the ruined entryway of Meg's den. Cas is waiting outside of it, and by the way that his shoulders and head slump, he's just as mortified as Dean is.
"Dean-"
"Later, Cas," the hybrid flattens his ears to his head and begins to trot away from the den in haste.
The alpha catches up to Dean's side, "I didn't mean to-"
"I told you, I don't want to fucking hear it right now," Dean pivots to glare at his mate, "Do you fucking understand what I'm saying, or do I have to get you an English-to-Dumbass dictionary for it to get stuck in that thick skull of yours?"
Cas' eyes widen, and the air sours with a scent of embarrassment and shame, "Dean, please… Hear me out. It was my wolf, okay? It didn't like the idea of you not submitting to me-"
The hybrid makes a frustrated noise, and he stamps his paw on the ground as though he were a child in a tantrum, "Just quit! God dammit, Cas!"
The alpha stops trying to defend himself at that, and he makes a small whine as he begins to walk off ahead of Dean- as though he's trying to distance himself before he messes anything else up.
"No, none of that running off bullshit again," Dean grits out, "You've done enough of that recently."
Cas' muscles tense and freeze at the remark.
Dean huffs a sad breath and walks forward until he stops quietly beside Cas, "I don't want to fight anymore. I don't want to have to chase you down only to be running off the next second. I do want to talk about it, but later, Cas…"
The other werewolf looks over his shoulder to glance at his mate, and with a whine, he turns to bury his nose into Dean's fur much like he had last night.
"What's gettin' into you, Cas?" Dean murmurs, rubbing back against Cas with just as much desperation, "You're so… bipolar right now…"
"I don't know," he whispers back, his words fearful, "I'm starting to believe that those dreams of yours aren't too far from the truth…"
Dean whimpers, "Don't say things like that, Cas…"
"It's true though, isn't it?" Cas pulls away slightly, "I'm losing more and more control over my wolf, even with you by my side. Why is that?"
The hybrid licks at Cas' ear, "I don't know, but… we're gonna stop it from happenin', Cas. I'll make sure that you won't go rogue, I promise."
The alpha leans into his mate's touches, "Are you sure that you can pull me back from that?"
"I'll make sure that I'll be able to stop it before then, Cas."
The two don't mention that Dean never really answered the question.
…
They check on Gabe before they go to bed. It's a quiet visit, considering that Sammy and the omega are fast asleep.
Their hands rest together over Gabe's stomach as they lie against one another, and the sight makes Dean and Cas glance at each other for the quickest of moments. Their cheeks heat furiously when they both realize why they wanted to look at the other.
After all, daydreams are for childr- …
They don't mention this, either.
The two sleep with their hands held together in the space between them on the mattress, their fingers occasionally brushing against the other's skin gingerly. They dream of hopes for a better tomorrow.
…
(Day 7)
"Ruby's still a mess, just so you know," Meg growls as Dean and Cas approach her.
"Meg, this was all just a big misunderstanding and mistake."
Meg snorts angrily, "Ah, mistake! Sorry to correct you, oh alpha my alpha, but you're going to need a bigger word than that."
Dean takes a step forward, and Meg takes one back in response, "You just have to believe us, Meg. Things are just- things are shit. We didn't mean to drag you and Ruby into that."
"You should be sorry, but more so to Ruby than anything else," Meg's voice grows softer as she looks back to the new, makeshift entryway to her den, "She was terrified out of her mind after you two left. I don't think she even slept well for a bit."
"We want to make it up to her," Cas murmurs, causing Meg to whip her head around to growl at him.
"Why should I trust you with her?"
Cas averts his gaze from the she-wolf, "I know that your distaste for me is clear, but also appropriate. What I did yesterday, it was- it was uncalled for. I didn't mean to give you or your daughter a scare- I never intended to go after Dean in such a way… But I can assure you that I won't hurt Ruby. I never could."
"Oh, and what good that's been doing you," Meg huffs sourly, "Aren't you forgetting that you nearly attacked Dean yesterday? Isn't he, well, your mate? I thought that you could never hurt him, either, but yet, here we are nonetheless."
The insult is not lost on either of the other wolves.
Dean speaks this time around, "Meg, please… We just want to show that we're sorry."
"You're not the one who really should be apologizing, Dean. You were running for your life, after all."
Dean closes his eyes to try and abate his quickly growing frustration, "Look, Cas' wolf is just being a little shit, alright? That's not his fault."
"Don't defend me, Dean-"
"Oh, not you too," Dean groans and turns to leave, "You know what, Meg? We'll come back later. Just- just forget that we came over today-"
"Wait!"
Dean pivots just in time to see a little blur zoom in front of him before something smacks head first into his leg, and with a sad smile, Dean looks down to the puffball below, "Hey, Ruby…"
The pup looks up to Dean to give her own grin, "I didn't want you guys to go."
"But-" Cas comes over, and to their surprise, Ruby doesn't look scared of him, "we thought you were upset with us."
Ruby tilts her head, "I was, until I heard what Dean said about your wolf. Is it true? Is he being a little shi-"
"Yes, Ruby, it is."
She jumps over to the alpha at that, "You aren't going to die, are you!?"
Cas looks over to Dean, but the hybrid is just as lost as his mate is on this one, "I, uh- Ruby, it's not… It's not like a terminal disease."
"It isn't?" Ruby stops rushing at the other wolf, and she sits down with a huff, "I'm confused now."
The three werewolves look at each other for a silent 'what-the-fuck-do-we-say' council just as Ruby begins to chase her tail with vigor.
Cas places a paw on the pup's tail to stop her, and she looks at the alpha in surprise as she comes to an abrupt halt, "Ruby, you can play later, but right now, Dean and I need to explain a few things."
"Look, Ruby, Cas' wolf, it's- it's kind of got a mind of its own right now. Cas can lose control of it sometimes, and he gets all mean and scary."
"Is that what happened yesterday?" Ruby's voice is quiet as her eyes dart between the two wolves in front of her, and Meg looks on with some concern.
Dean nods, "Yeah, Cas didn't mean to do any of that. He didn't mean to scare you."
"Oh, well, that's okay," Ruby smiles at the alpha, "Sometimes, when mama doesn't want me to do something, I end up doing it anyway. She calls it something like 'incense'."
"Instincts," Meg corrects from afar.
Ruby nods, "Yeah, that. She told me that sometimes we do thing without thinking because our wolves can control us sometimes… Is that what's happening to you?"
Cas nods, but doesn't say anything.
"I'm sorry about your wolf being a butt," Ruby pads over and rubs her head on Cas' leg, "I'm also sorry about what I said yesterday. Mama talked to me about it and she told me that what I said was 'out of character.'"
"Out of line, Ruby, out of line."
Ruby nods enthusiastically, "Yeah, what Mama said. I'm still sorry, though. I was kind of being a butt, too."
"You don't have to apologize, Ruby. What you did, it was… brave."
Meg gawks off to the side, "Castiel-"
"No, Meg. I was the one that was out of line. Your daughter had every right to correct me."
The she-wolf comes over then, "Yeah, sure, you say that until that gets her hurt or worse! What she did yesterday could've- it could've-" Meg can't finish the sentence, but everyone knows what was being left unsaid.
"I'm sorry, Mama," Ruby whines and goes over to her mother's leg, "I promise that I won't do it again…"
Meg begins to lick at the pup's head with worry, "Good, because you nearly killed me with fear because of that stunt."
Dean watches as the she-wolf bathes her now protesting daughter. An ache builds up in his chest at the sight, forcing Dean to rip his eyes away at the void that claws its way into existence.
"You feel it too, don't you?"
Dean jumps slightly at Cas' sudden words, and he looks over to his mate, "W-What are you talking about?"
"I saw how you were looking at Meg with Ruby," Cas idly comments, "I'm not blind, Dean."
"I have no clue what you're saying to me right now…"
Cas rumbles lightly and headbutts Dean, "It's nothing to be ashamed of, if that's what you're thinking. To be honest, I'm surprised that you haven't had these urges sooner."
Dean tenses at that and echoes the word like a parrot, "Urges?"
"You are of age, and so am I. It's a biological drive to want to have pups together."
If Dean were in human form, he would surely be blushing right now, "Uh, wow, Cas… I never knew that you wanted a shotgun wedding."
"And I never knew that you wanted to get married until just now," the alpha replies smugly.
Dean's fur bristles from embarrassment just as Meg shouts, "Oh god, you two are horrible, I swear! It is too early in the morning for this!"
"We'll talk about this," Cas lets that word slip off of his tongue with some amount of heat as it passes by Dean's ear, making him shiver, "later. For right now, I think that we've got an apology to wrap up."
Dean follows along like a love-sick duckling.
He'll smack himself about it later, because for right now, he's gotta keep his head in the game.
"Wildcats," Dean whispers.
Cas turns to look at Dean with confusion, "What?"
"Nothing, don't worry about it."
Dean sighs in relief as the alpha turns back around. However, his lovely moment is cut short by the incredulous look that Meg is currently sending his way.
"Seriously, Dean?" she says as Ruby and Cas being to play fight off to the side, "You're really going to start quoting High School Musical now?"
"Shut up. I wasn't doing that."
Meg sticks her tongue out at him, "Whatever, Sharpie-"
"It's Sharpay."
"You're a terrible liar," she says with a smirk, causing Dean to groan.
…
Ruby runs ahead of Dean and Cas as the pack house comes into view.
"Ruby, be careful!" Dean barks out, watching as the pup trips over her paw and faceplants just like she always does, and with a sigh, Dean adds, "I spoke too soon."
"She's a pup, Dean. It's in her nature to have fun and not worry."
Dean snorts, causing Cas to look at him.
"Is it just me, or is Dean Winchester a little green with jealousy?"
The hybrid gapes as he turns to look at his mate, "Are you seriously asking me if I'm jealous of a pup?"
"If the shoe fits…" the alpha trails off.
"Ugh, you're such an ass sometimes," Dean mumbles as Ruby loops around to chargee at them.
With a thump, she runs into Cas' paw, "Alpha, alpha! Guess what I saw!"
"A bird, I'm assuming?"
Ruby shakes her head, "No, there's a man with a big black suit in the window! I think he's leaving us presents!" she gasps, "Is he Santa!?"
Dean freezes, "No, Ruby, which room is he in?"
She looks a little frightened by how Dean and Cas leer over her, "I don't know, but he had Sam with him."
Cas looks at Dean then, "Dean, stay with Ruby outside. I'll take care of this."
"But Cas-"
"I'm not budging on this. Take Ruby and hide somewhere out in the woods with her- hell, go back to Meg's den, if you can. I'm not giving them a chance to take you again."
The last part sounds so sincere, that Dean knows in his heart that arguing about staying alongside the alpha is pointless, and with a whisper, Dean rubs his face along Cas', "Be careful…"
Ruby whines as Cas runs off towards the pack house, and she looks at Dean with big, fearful eyes, "Is he one of the men that you told me about?"
"Yes, Ruby. He's one of the big, bad guys that you and I have to stay away from. Now come on, we've got to get back to your mother's den."
Dean tries to jog there, for the sake of making sure that Ruby doesn't get tangled up in this mess, because if she becomes a witness to whatever is about to happen, Dean would never forgive himself. However, the small, terrified pup can't keep up with Dean's already slowed pace, as her paws clumsy catch on roots or on themselves. With a grunt, Dean grabs Ruby by her scruff and begins to sprint towards the she-wolf's den as soon as she is held securely by his jaws.
"Is Castiel going to get hurt?" Ruby asks suddenly.
Dean wishes he could answer her right now, but even then, Dean knows that whatever comes out of his mouth will more than likely just be what he's hoping for. In short, he doesn't know, and that terrifies him.
They come upon Meg's den, finding that the she-wolf is already outside, working over a freshly killed rabbit. She tilts her head in confusion as Dean rushes forward to shove Ruby inside.
"What's going on?"
"Ruby saw some man at the house," Dean rushes out as he looks over his shoulder, and he knows that, going by the sudden spike in her scent, he's beginning to scare Meg, "Cas told me to take Ruby back here."
Meg forgets about the rabbit instantly, and her voice is fearful, "Did they come back for you?"
Dean begins to shift on his paws with worry, "I don't know, I really don't. Meg, I'm- I'm sorry that this happened."
"Hey, don't be blaming yourself for this, okay?" her voice is calm now, and Dean can't be any more thankful than he already is for the reassurance, "It's not your fault that some crazy dickwad wants your hide in front of his fireplace."
Take that back, Dean was thankful.
"Oh," Meg seems to realize what she just said, "I, uh, sorry about that."
"It's okay," Dean sighs and tries to let some of the tension leave his already wound up muscles, "It's just- it's a shit situation right now."
Meg nods, and she begins to survey the forest around them, "Any idea as to why they'd come now?"
The hybrid shakes his head, "I'm not sure exactly, but I know that Zachariah put out an ad for me, and people expect him to follow through. He's probably sending someone here to do the dirty work for him, too."
"That's fucked up."
"Tell me about it."
The she-wolf sighs, "Well, I'm guessing that you and Castiel will make up for the play date later?"
Dean smiles sadly, "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."
"Aw, but I wanted to have fun with you guys!"
"Ruby, get back in the den. Now."
The pup whines, "But Mama-"
Meg gives her daughter a growl that leaves no room for argument.
"Sorry, Mama…" Ruby turns around with her ears flattened to her head, and she pouts as she goes back inside of the den.
Meg sighs and pivots to look at Dean, "So what are we going to do now?"
"As much as I hate to say it… We're gonna have to wait."
…
Castiel glares at the man before him. He's tall, but far from lanky; muscle lines parts of his finely-tailored suit, while others are just rounded with fat. The man has a cold gaze about him- one that calculates every move that Castiel makes as the alpha paces around the intruder.
"Zachariah wasn't wrong when he said that you were a little… different."
"I don't give a damn about what that excuse of a man has to say," Castiel growls as his hands ball up into fists, "Same goes for you. Now, get the fuck out of my territory before I rip you apart."
The man smirks, obviously thinking that the threat was nothing but a joke to laugh off, "You'd just love that, wouldn't you? Speaking of which, how's your wolf been? Behaving horribly, I'd assume?"
The implied 'we've been watching you' doesn't escape Castiel, "I suppose it has. I can't help it sometimes, especially when people piss. me. off."
"Is this how you treat guests? If so, I'll make sure that some classes on manners will be given to you once everything is said and done with."
"Excuse me?"
There's another sly grin, "Oh, you don't know, do you? But then again, why would you?"
Castiel growls lowly, letting it rumble in his chest and in the air around him, "Out with it."
"That'd just ruin the surprise, so I'm going to have to say no on that one," he shrugs, "But, I guess that I could give you a few hints…"
Castiel only quirks a brow.
"I'm pretty sure that you'd expect us to come back just for your little, precious Dean," that makes the alpha growl, "but you're wrong. Actually, we we're thinking about recruiting your brother into our ranks too, once he's done being 'occupied'. As for the other alpha, well… that just won't do."
"Don't you dare do anything to them..." Castiel growls.
He laughs sinisterly, "It's not going to be me, exactly, but I assure you that I'll get my bit done. You know, while we had Dean in our custody, we all took bets on who'd they'd let fuck him first. Do you know how much harder people worked to gain employee of the month? It's kind of ridiculous what people would do for a quick and easy piece of ass."
Castiel snarls, "Don't talk about him like that…"
"What, about your mate? Oh, boo hoo, cry me a river or two, will you? The whole 'mates' thing got old years ago. No one gives a shit about that sappy romance bull anymore. Times have changed, and so have the people who are living in them."
"That doesn't give you the right to treat him like he's something to own," Castiel hisses.
"You'd be surprised to find out the amount of people who don't care about that, either. I mean, did you even see the numbers that your little bitch brought in? People all around the world wanted to have a chance to taste the wonder that is the 'werewolf hybrid', and in some of the many lewd comments made, 'the Hannah Montana from the Americana'. I'm afraid that some people want the best of both worlds, or in this case, genders. Can't blame them, honestly. I wouldn't mind to experience it myself."
The alpha steps forward then, "You must have a death wish."
"No, I just have a desire for a large paycheck and maybe some fun on the side named Dean Winchester," Castiel grits his teeth together as the man begins to looks around the room, "I was thinking, since I'm going to get the substantial raise and the major promotion for retrieving your soon-to-be rent-a-whore, I was trying to find some inspiration for how I'm going to refurbish my condo. You know, for a pack house that's practically full of strays, you do have some- … luxuries. Shame that it's wasted on a group full of unwanted, misfit mutts."
"I know, it is a shame really… I mean, this carpet isn't exactly cheap, but here it is, completely ruined."
The man makes a face, "It's practically spotless. I don't see what you mean by-"
A quick slash from Castiel's claw causes copious amounts of scarlet to fall on the once pristine threads beneath Castiel's feet. The man stumbles back, his eyes wide with fear and shock as he looks at Castiel. His hand uselessly scrambles for his neck where a deep slash now resides.
"Like I said," the alpha hisses as his wolf prowls on the edge of his words, making them dark and in some sense, unhuman, "ruined."
…
Sammy's the one that greets them at the den, not Cas.
Dean, at first, thinks the worst, and he rushes at his brother for answers that part of him is just outright afraid to know. However, as the youngest Winchester explains that Cas is just "busying cleaning up", Dean ends up confused more than anything else.
"What do you mean by that?"
Sammy scowls for a moment, "Well, uh, he- … Cas took care of however it was that was at the house."
"I don't understand, why does that mean he has to 'clean up'?" Dean's voice cracks at the end, and even to his own ears, the sound is pathetic.
Meg comes over to Dean's then, "Honey…"
Dean tries not to feel stupid as Sammy gives him a sympathetic look.
"So Cas- …"
The question doesn't have to be finished for everyone to know what it's asking.
"He did, but I'm sure that the asshole deserved it."
Dean closes his eyes for a moment, "Anything that I need to know already?"
Well, might as well load up the emotional bag all at once. You know… One trip and all that…
"His name was Uriel, from what I remember. He was rude as shit, though. There was this look of superiority in his eye whenever he looked at me, like I was trash that happened to somehow be taller than him."
"No offense, Sammy, but you're pretty much taller than everyone already by default."
Sammy rolls his eyes at that, "Ugh, shut up. My height is so not what we need to focus on right now."
"Right," Dean mutters, and he looks towards his feet for a second.
"Anyways," the youngest Winchester sighs once more, "I think that now is the best time to get a plan ready to go for whenever something like this happens again."
Dean nods reluctantly, "Cas and I were getting a few legal things together, just in case… What else do you think we might need, lawyer of mine?"
"Lawyer-in-training, actually," Sammy corrects, "But, to be honest, I think that this is going to have to be taken care of outside of a court room."
"Are you sure?" Dean frowns, "This can't be done civilly?"
Sammy shakes his head slowly as he speaks, "That's an affirmative no, especially so if Zachariah's already sending those pigs of his down from the sex farm."
Dean scowls in disgust, "Nice imagery there, Sammy. Your English teacher would be so proud."
"It's true, Dean. Things have already been set into motion. I'm guessing that we have an even smaller window now that Uriel has been… curtly disposed of. Zachariah will surely be waiting for something to come through the grapevine from him, and when all he gets is radio silence, I'm sure that he's going to take action. We won't have long until he realizes that his attempt to get you back on the down low has failed."
"So you want Cas and I to focus on working on my memory recovery and stuff more?"
The youngest Winchester nods, "That would be preferable."
Dean returns the gesture, "Okay, well… Once Cas's done with whatever he's doing, I'll talk to him about it. Besides, we really need to get Gabe back on his feet, especially if Zachariah is going to begin his assault soon enough."
Meg clears her throat from beside Dean, "Not to really cut into the conversation here or anything, but what about Ruby and I?"
"Zachariah probably won't target you, considering that you seem disconnected from the pack."
"Actually, he did mention you guys while I was at GS," Dean corrects, and he hates the flash of fear that dances across Meg's features, "I don't know if he intends to do anythin', but I just thought you guys should know that he's aware of your existences."
Meg begins to pace in front of the entryway to her den, "Oh god, what am I going to do? What if I'm out here hunting or something else, and they come in and snatch Ruby? What if I'm asleep and they block Ruby and I in the den to where we can't get out without giving ourselves up?"
Dean pads over to her then, "Hey, Meg, calm down. Look, we won't let anything happen to you or Ruby, okay? If it makes you feel better, you can take one of the empty rooms in the pack house-"
"But I don't do packs, Dean," Meg shifts on her paws, and her eyes are wide, "I haven't done packs since- since-"
"Breathe, okay? In and out, just like me," Dean comes over to calm the she-wolf down from her high of panic, "I understand that maybe the idea of being in a pack again scares you, but it's not like that here, I promise. There's not going to be another Alistair."
Meg's eyes close as she whines, "I can't go back to that, Dean. I told myself that I wouldn't, and I told myself that Ruby would never have to know what I went through because she'd be going through it herself. I- I couldn't-"
"It's alright," Dean whispers as Meg begins to lower herself on the ground, her fear causing her to lose the ability to stand up properly without shaking, "Alistair's gone now. That part of your life is over and done with. You don't have to hide like you used to now."
Sammy comes up beside Dean as Meg begins to whimper, and they know how hard it is to move on from whatever Alistair has done.
Together, the two brothers curl up around the she-wolf to comfort her. Ruby joins in moments later, letting her nose nuzzle away the tears that her mother is shedding.
They stay like that until Cas comes along.
…
When Castiel comes upon what could only be described as a puppy pile, he can't help but quirk a brow at the wolves before him.
Ruby notices him first, and she jumps up to nip at his jeans. As he stared at the pup in confusion, she huffs with irritation and begins to tug at the denim to make him move towards the pile of wolves cuddling each other to death.
Dean picks up his head then to look at Castiel, and his green eyes linger on the alpha for a moment until Sammy lifts his own gaze to meet the other alpha's. Sammy's head bows down slightly in acknowledgement as Dean removes himself from their huddle.
The hybrid comes over to nip at Castiel's hand- while Ruby is still adamant on tugging him away, mind you- to bring him over to the side. Castiel waits a moment for Dean to change back into his human form to explain what's going on. When a very naked Dean stands before him, Castiel has to avert his eyes away, knowing that if he doesn't, his wolf will surely have something else on its mind other than protecting its mate. Dean clears his throat awkwardly, and his arms cross over himself as Castiel hands over a pair of sweats and a tee he had been carrying along.
"Thanks," Dean mutters, and he grabs at the offering of clothes shyly.
Castiel keeps his gaze fixated on a loose pine cone swaying from its branch to make sure that he eyes don't wander over to his mate as he dresses, "Don't mention it…"
Dean coughs, and Castiel takes that as a signal that it's safe. When he turns his head over to the hybrid, he's clad in the garments that were pulled from Castiel's side of the dresser drawer. His wolf purrs at the thought of his mate being doused in his scent and covered in his clothing, but Castiel shushes it and reminds it of the pressing matters at hand.
"So," Dean beats Castiel to the punch, "I heard that you took care of our little visitor."
A triumphant roar rings around in Castiel's skull at the thought of pleasing its mate, but Castiel pointedly ignores it to swallow nervously, "Uh, yes… I did. Is that a problem?"
"It might be, considering that Zachariah expected the prick to come back to kiss ass eventually. He'll come looking for him as soon as he finds out that he's missing or worse."
The alpha sighs, "I- I didn't think of that…"
"Hey, it's alright," Dean steps forward then, and his hand cups the side of Castiel's face, "I'm not mad at you, if that's what you're thinking. No one is, actually. I'm just concerned over the fact that this might have added gasoline to this already growing inferno."
"Now you sound poetic," Castiel murmurs, and he leans into the pad of a thumb that traces over his cheek, causing a low rumble to escape him.
Dean snorts at the sound, "Yeah yeah, sue me, why don't you? Either way, I don't blame you for doing whatever it is that you did. I'm sure that the asshole deserved it."
A low growl escapes the alpha, "He did, considering what he said."
The hybrid's demeanor changes slightly, "Which was? …"
"He talked about the plan to offer you up like some piece of meat," Castiel begins sourly, "He spoke of trying to get his own experience of you in, and that he planned on taking Gabriel as well once the baby was born or- I don't even want to think about what they'd do if they weren't willing to wait. He was counting on taking you both to Zachariah like some gift."
"Jesus," Dean breathes out, his eyes wide, "That's… that's so fucked up…"
Castiel nods, "My wolf sort of snapped, slightly. Which, reminds me… They've known about my rogue scares."
Dean pales, "That means- …"
"That they've been watching? Yes, Dean. They've got tabs on us, apparently. It's one of the things that we're going to have to be on the lookout for, if it even matters at this point. They probably already know everything."
"I expected it too happen either way, to be honest, it's just that-" Dean pauses for a moment, "it's hella creepy, Cas. I mean, there's these random people butting their asses into our lives over here in ways we don't know of yet. That makes your skin crawl too, right?"
The wolf howls in rage at the thought of people looking into their personal spaces, and also for the fact that there's not much that can be done about it too, "You have no idea."
A shiver goes through Dean as he looks over his shoulder at Meg and his brother curled up together while Ruby lies down on top of their bodies, "It's just- I don't want this all to fall apart, Cas. I don't want to lose any of you guys, the pack, the place that I now call home… These- the visions that I've been having, they're just so… realistic, and I'm hoping to whatever's out there that it ain't gonna come true, but- … I can't guarantee that."
"Well, let's do all that we can to keep it from happening, then."
Dean gives the alpha a light, sad smile, "Yeah, I suppose that's the best way to go about it… Now come on, Balto, we've got some stuff to do."
…
"This isn't working!"
"Have you tried putting your hand there?"
There's a groan of anger, "Where haven't I put my hand already!? I told you, this isn't working!"
"Maybe you should push a little harder. I don't feel anything."
"Neither do I, which is why I'm complaining."
An irritated huff precedes the response, "No, you're whining. If you're unsatisfied, I suggest that you should try a little more next time around-"
"Ugh, you're such an ass! You're acting like I just sat there and expected instant fireworks! I put some effort in, mind you! You see this here! It's sweat! It's what happens whenever you exert yourself!"
One of the two sighs, "I'm not saying that you haven't tried already, just that you haven't done things the right way-"
"Excuse you, there's not really a right way to go about this! I just kinda- kinda got to go with the vibe, you know? Like, what feels best n' shit."
"You're so eloquent sometimes."
There's an irritated growl, "Shut the fuck up. I'm trying here, okay? You and I both know that we've never really done this before, and this is new for us. We've got to explore what feels right and what doesn't, or else we're going to hurt ourselves. Oh, and trust me, I do not aim to be sore in the morning."
"You'd probably be worse off than I would be, to be honest."
"Oh yeah, lucky you. I mean, it is me who's having to do ninety-six percent of the work throughout this whole thing, and it's gonna end up biting me in the ass."
"You're very bitter about this-"
Dean lets his eyes fly open in anger, and he pulls himself away from Cas' forehead and his body altogether, severing the mental connection altogether, "I can't do this! That's it! Nada- done- finished- we ain't gettin' shit, so now we gotta quit!"
Cas only raises a questionable brow at the other werewolf.
"Don't you judge me, you ass. You know as well as I do that this is some complex stuff right here. Sorry if I'm getting frustrated with nothing working."
The alpha stands up from the bed then, "Maybe it has something to do with my wolf?"
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm saying that there could be a chance that my wolf doesn't want you in my head," Cas answers easily, "It's just a theory."
Dean sighs, sets himself on the end of the large bed, and puts his face into his hands, "I just don't know what to do here, Cas. We were making some leeway, and then, when we need it more than anything, we just- stall. Why is that?"
Cas sits down beside Dean then, and he wraps an arm around the hybrid to pull his body closer to his own, "I've noticed that we always don't have the best of luck, specifically whenever it's the most desirable. But that's how life is, Dean. It's all cut-throat, and it's also more feral and callous than we could ever manage to be."
"I wish that it wasn't," Dean murmurs, and he closes his eyes as he nuzzles into Cas' side, "Sometimes, I just want to be able to relax and be happy for once without it getting all ruined… Is that too much to ask for?"
"No, it isn't."
Dean snorts softly, "Well, with our lives, it seems like it…"
They're quiet for a few minutes, and Dean's sure that while he's busy cuddling, Cas is busy thinking. The thought makes Dean smile a little just as Cas shuffles slightly.
"What if it's because of our bond?"
The question comes out of nowhere, and frankly, it's about a subject that Dean never expected, either.
"Um, I guess it could be that, maybe… I don't know why. All Sammy ever tells us is how strong and unusual it is, but for some reason, here we are. I can't connect the dots here when the two people with the 'most powerful and profound bond ever' can't even make a mental connection. I mean, we were miles apart, Cas, and I felt how scared you were. Why isn't it working now? Especially so when we're separated by only centimeters?"
This makes the alpha purse his lips for a moment in consideration, "You have a valid argument, Dean… But- I just can't shake this feeling off. I'm sure that you've noticed it too."
"No, I haven't picked up on anything that feels weird, Cas. I may have some powers, but I'm no Peter Parker. I don't have 'hybridy senses'."
Cas lightly rolls his eyes, especially so whenever Dean makes air quotes for his allusion, "Well, I feel like there's something missing here. I don't know what exactly, but I know that we don't have it."
"That only makes one of us then," Dean stands up to wash away some of the sweat that had dried uncomfortably on his skin.
"Dean, when we tried doing this the last time, our bond grew."
Dean stops at that, especially so whenever he feels a small twinge in the handprint scar on his shoulder.
"Don't disregard what I'm saying because you may not feel it," Cas joins Dean by his side, "Maybe that's why it isn't working for us, Dean. We probably have to finish consummating our bond-" Dean groans internally for his mate's vocabulary of choice- "for this to happen."
"But how would we know if it works, Cas?" Dean pivots to look at the alpha, "I don't mind the sex thing- I really don't- but how would be able to tell if that's what's causing the blockage? Also, isn't it a little risky to be bumpin' uglies right now? They're watching us, remember?"
Cas makes a face at that, one that's a mixture between a grimace and a scowl, as he answers, "We could find a way to work around that, if the need arises."
Dean only tilts his head and gives his mate a sympathetic look.
"We don't have time to dance around anymore, Dean. It's not like we didn't before, but it's even worse now. Zachariah may come any moment, and somehow, we have to be a step ahead of him. While I would rather wait until things are safer, matters are a little pressing at the moment. We don't have many options here."
"I know, I know," Dean mumbles, and he hisses softly, "And we still have to fix Gabe up, too."
"Yes, which is why I'm not stopping until we get this blockage out of the way as quickly as possible," the alpha grabs onto Dean's hand, "Now, while I'd like to give you flowers and everything you deserve, we're going to have to skip all of that and get straight to the point."
Dean nods as he murmurs, "It's fine, Cas. I understand."
Cas' faces falls a little, and he pulls Dean to him until they're adjacent to each other, "I'm going to make this up to you, Dean. I promise."
"I know you will, but… I dunno. It kinda feels like we're jumping head first into something we shouldn't have."
"I feel it too," Cas murmurs, "but we need to at least try and see if this is going to work or not."
The hybrid looks at his mate then, and his eyes are wary, "What if it doesn't? …"
The other scowls for a moment, "We're going to have to figure something else out, then. I know that we were working on this before, but now, we've got to work harder and faster… If it makes you feel better, we'll skip all of the extras and just do the basics. That way, we'll know sooner rather than later if the a lack of a physical bonding is what was causing us all this trouble."
"So you're saying that you're literally just gonna spit on your hand and my butt, then go for it?"
Cas makes a face, "That's- that's a strange and lewd way to put it, but yes."
Dean's breath grows heavy, and his throat has some trouble with working it down into the hybrid's lungs, "Just- be careful, Cas… I know I'm not china over here, but- …" Dean trails off as his eyes meet the ground in embarrassment.
"I won't hurt you, Dean. I promise," Cas lifts Dean's face with a gentle finger placed on his chin, "We'll take it slower if we need to, as well. Time may be a pressing matter, but I'm not going to let our dire situation outrule your safety and comfort."
Dean smiles softly, and he closes his eyes as he pushes against the light touch of Cas' exploring finger, "Then do what you need to, Cas. I trust you."
When Dean opens his eyes, he finds that Cas is staring at him with not blue eyes, but red. For a second, Dean thinks that maybe another vision has decided to ruin this about-to-be-perfect moment, but as a smile spreads over the alpha's lips, Dean relaxes into the hands that come around to the small of his back. However, that doesn't mean he still isn't curious.
"Cas, why are your eyes red?"
"It only occurs whenever we're about to take on a mate, or whenever our wolf has or is gaining total and complete control," Cas murmurs, rubbing his face into the crook of Dean's neck, "It's saved for times of utter importance."
Dean nods, "D-Do my eyes change color?"
Cas shrugs nonchalantly, which is kind of weird, considering that he's practically face-bonding Dean's clavicle at the current moment, "I wouldn't know, to be sure. It's never been documented in omegas, as far as I know. However, you might be a consideration or exception to the rule altogether."
"Oh yeah, I forgot… I'm the Hannah Montana from the Americana."
Cas pulls back to look at Dean in confusion, "The what? Wait- I think I've heard that before..."
"Don't worry about it," Dean swallows at the crimson staining his mate's irises, and he hopes that he hasnt ruined the moment with mentioning the comments he read on GS' site the other night, "You've got some fucking to do, don't you?"
Cas growls at that, and he pulls Dean close until the hybrid is flush against him, "I don't think you need to remind me about that. I'm well aware of what is about to happen."
For some reason, Dean suddenly feels bold, "Oh come on, alpha, I thought you said that we'd have to skip the 'extras'. Foreplay is definitely on that list."
"You really want to push me right now, don't you."
"You just now noticed?"
Cas chuckles, "Should I honestly be surprised?"
"No, you shouldn't be. Now come on, I've needed you in me ages ago- dire situation or not- and I'm getting what I need tonight."
A grin with fangs forms against Dean's pulse point, "Are you now?"
Dean groans, but out of frustration, "Yes, you stupid alpha. Just fuck me already-"
That's all that Cas needs apparently, because Dean's back meets the bed in a sudden manner that causes him to gasp in surprise. The alpha is looming over him hungrily, his eyes blazing, and his scent is so heavy and so potent that Dean's nostrils burn from its overwhelming presence.
Dean can't help but cry out at the sudden sensation of Cas' finger entering him, and he shudders out the weird, heated jolts that the digits cause. It isn't a bad feeling, and Dean's a little grateful that even though Cas is kinda wolfed out above him, growling and rumbling like he's caught something worth keeping- and specifically, in this position- Cas is still being gentle with him as promised.
A shaky breath passes over Dean's- oh wow, he didn't even realize that they were dry until now- chapped lips. The alpha purrs out in satisfaction as a crook of his pointer finger drives Dean to a new state of dishevel as he aches and moans wantonly.
"Heat," the alpha grits out with pride, like a cat when it's caught a canary and its mouth is full of downy feathers and meat, "Mate in heat."
Dean's concerned for a moment that Cas might be a little buzzed in the "alpha wolf about to bond" zone, but as he pushes back against Cas'- oh, it's up to four now? When did that happen?- fingers without thought, he realizes that maybe he's a little too far gone with a sudden urge to ride the alpha till he's asleep to criticize.
Sweat covers and dampens Dean as a whole, and he pants with a newfound loss of coordination and need, "Cas, please…"
Without warning, the alpha jerkily removes his fingers and does what they've all been waiting for. Well, maybe not everyone but- okay, whatever. Dean's just going to enjoy this, not comment on it like a spokesman. Besides, he's too busy moaning and enjoying the slide of Cas entering him to really care about making commentary.
After a few minutes, Dean's head lolls back loosely from the rough thrusts that Cas is currently supplying him with, and thank god, because it's exactly what Dean needs.
And tonight is about getting that.
Dean's nails rake down Cas' shoulders and back with a low growl, "Come on, alpha. You've got to do better than that if you want to make me com-"
Obscene noises fill the room, and normally, they'd have Dean cringing with pure mortification. Right now, however, he can't seem to give of a shit about anything other than the perfect dick in his ass.
"God, you were made for this, weren't you?" Cas throws his head back as a growl builds up in his throat.
Dean answers back with a whine, and he makes sure that the alpha knows what's going on.
"You just so tight and warm and slick and I can't-" Cas shakes his head in a daze as his hips stutter in their rhythm, "God, Dean…"
Dean wishes that they weren't having to rush right now, and that this surprise, pseudo heat didn't level him out like you would a rundown apartment complex, only to build it right back up again as a new, luxurious condo. In short, Dean feels like he's getting picked apart only to be put back together again. Except… it's better this time around. Oh, and sorry about the housing metaphor. Dean may not be Bob the Builder, let him be the first to assure you of that, but it's close enough and he's too busy getting frickle frackled to really care at this moment.
Cas gives all he's got on this last thrust in particular, and he exhales as he completely bottoms out. Dean thrashes around a bit on the bed just from the sheer fullness of it all, and he closes his eyes to try and fight this burn that starts from his tailbone and ends somewhere along his naval.
"It's okay, it's okay," Cas cups Dean's face to stop it from hitting the pillow in frustration, "Just give me a minute or two and then I can move-"
Dean growls as he opens his eyes, "Castiel, you are going to fuck me right fucking now, or I swear to-"
A whine cuts Dean off, and his chin presses against his torso as he winces. Cas is rubbing him soothingly almost instantly. He's even cooing at the hybrid.
"Cas, you've got to move or do something," Dean pleads, because it feels like he's getting burned up from the inside out.
The alpha nods knowingly, "I want to, Dean, but my knot-"
"Your what?"
"My knot?" Cas repeats, looking uncertain.
Dean furrows his brow in confusion despite the urgency he feels at the lack of stimulation, "What in the fuck is a knot?"
"Dean, did anyone ever explain what happens when an alpha has sex with someone?"
The hybrid shakes his head, "Uh, no. I was never enlisted in werewolf sex-ed, Cas."
Cas flushes a bright red at the admission, "Well, um, a knot is, oh god, it's a breeding mechanism-"
"Breeding!?" Dean shouts, and he looks down to where Cas' pelvis blends into his own, "Oh god, get it out, get it out!"
Cas grabs onto Dean's hands before they can finish flying south like migrating birds- and wow, why did Dean compare it to that?- and sighs, "Dean, it's not- … What's done is done, okay? We couldn't get it out now, even if we tried."
"Why not?" Dean hisses.
"Because it'll hurt us both. You, however, we'll receive the most damage if that happens. I'm literally saving your ass right now."
Dean huffs a breath, "Wow, how considerate."
"Dean-"
"Just- maybe I wasn't ready to be- to be bred, Cas. I know what sex means and what it can do, but… A baby? You and I can't handle that right now. Our little world can't handle a little one."
The alpha looks away from Dean, "I'm aware. But this had to happen just as it did, and I'm sorry. I would've used protection, but- …"
"But what?"
"Knots tend to break condoms," Cas informs him, "There are brands that make them specifically for that, but- those tend to break easily as well. I'm also not sure if the bond would take if it was there, considering. I still would've knotted you, but- ..."
Dean furrows his brow, "I still don't know what a knot is, exactly."
"That's because you didn't let me finish explaining earlier, Dean," the alpha sighs, "A knot, while being a breeding mechanism, is also something an alpha does to tie them to their partner. It's just additional swelling, but it locks it in there well enough. It usually doesn't happen the first time around unless the alpha trusts that person, or that person is their mate."
Dean smiles softly, "Aw, that's sweet. Your dick likes me."
Cas makes a face, "Um, that's mostly because I like you, and so does my wolf."
"Well, I like you too. Does my butt do anything special for you?"
"That's not-" Cas rubs at his face, "There isn't anything similar to a knot that an omega can do, but you can produce slick."
"Slick?"
Cas is redder than a tomato as he goes on, "It's essentially a natural lubricant that your body produces whenever mating or sexual activities occur."
Dean smiles, "Ah, cool. Now I know that I don't have to go out and buy lube for later."
"Dean…" Cas' voice breaks from mortification, and he hangs his head down to where Dean can't see his face.
"Don't be embarrassed, Cas. It's just anatomy and physiology, is all."
The other werewolf shakes his head, "You're just so blunt sometimes."
"Yes, and that's why you love me. Now come on, I'm sure that you've got your few minutes of 'knot moving'- hehe, get it?"
Cas groans, but not from pleasure.
"You should've expected this, Cas. It comes in the warranty."
The alpha quirks a brow, "You know that isn't the correct word you were looking for, right? A warranty is basically a replacement policy. Did you mean 'description'?"
"Ugh, just shut up and fuck me, Google."
Cas makes another face, but gets on with their dirty deed.
Soon enough, Dean is back to gasping and writhing in their sweat-dampened sheets, and his nails begin to rip tiny holes in the poor fabric as his hands clench into fists. Cas isn't that much better, considering he's ramming into Dean so hard that the headboard of the bed is thunking dents into the wall rhythmically. Dust from broken drywall settles onto their bodies easily, but they keep going, of course. They're far too gone to truly care.
"God," Dean grits out, and a moan follows suit, "We should've done this sooner."
"Agreed."
Cas grabs onto one of Dean's hands to intertwine their fingers, causing Dean to smile around a gasp as Cas' hips falter slightly.
There's- well, there's definitely something different about Cas' dick this time around.
"It's the knot," Cas informs him, and it's then that Dean notices that his thrusts are shallower than before, and that there's a tugging whenever he pulls back that makes Dean follow.
"It's not… bad?" Dean breathes, and he leans his head up to see if he can peek and see it.
Cas realizes that Dean is watching- well, you know what- and he clears his throat awkwardly, "It's um- it's in you… You won't be able to see it…"
"Oh."
Cas nods, "Yeah… oh."
Dean lets his head fall back onto the pillow below, "Well, um, you can continue. I've had my fill," Dean laughs stupidly, "Hehe, get it? Because you're-"
"Yes, Dean. I get it."
When Dean looks at his mate, he sees that there's a fond smile on his face.
But, as the thrusts start once more, Dean finds himself lost to sensation rather than admiration. Cas is into it too, naturally, and he lowers himself down until he's level with Dean's neck.
"I've got to bite you to seal the bond completely," the alpha hesitates, "Is that okay?"
"I-It's fine," Dean shudders as he feels Cas' teeth barely press against his skin, "I trust you."
That's apparently all that the alpha needs, because the next thing Dean knows, Cas is biting into his neck like he'll die if they don't- and oh yeah, they might if this doesn't work because then, Zachariah will win and- ugh, still the biggest. buzzkill. ever.
Dean thinks that maybe he lost his chance to feel the high of mating until he feels Cas begin to move once more. His teeth are firmly locked into Dean's flesh, and a low rumble makes his and Dean's body thrum with an animalistic kind of energy. In Dean's mind, his wolf preens, causing Dean to, without warning, return the noise of contentment.
Cas pulls away from Dean's neck to purr with satisfaction, and he licks the wound for a few seconds before allowing himself to admire his handiwork. Dean notices that his eyes are once again red, and that they a firmly fixated on the bite that is making the left side of Dean's neck sting in protest.
"Mate," the alpha chants out, his voice low- wolfish, hungry- as his eyes trail up Dean's neck to meet the hybrid's gaze, "My mate. My Dean."
"Uh, my Cas?" Dean parrots carefully, and he swallows nervously as he waits for Cas'- or, his wolf's, as Dean is guessing right now- reaction.
Cas begins to lower himself, making Dean think that he's messed up and committed a faux pas or something, only to rub his face along the edge of Dean's jaw.
"Perfect. All mine."
Dean nods slowly, "Yes, Cas. All yours."
Cas' hips begin to snap forward almost painfully into Dean's, "Mine to breed. Mine to fill."
"Uh, okay, that's definitely not-" Dean's cut off as another rough thrust tugs harshly on delicate areas, "Cas, come on, that hurts."
The wolf doesn't seem to care all that much, because it goes back to Dean's neck, "Smells funny…"
Dean's about to ask what that means when Cas' nail- or claw, rather- digs into his skin.
"Christ!" Dean shrieks, and he flails to grab at Cas' wrist, "Stop it! That hurts-"
Something is yanked out of him, and for a moment, Dean thinks it might be his jugular or something else vital, but as moments pass and his vision remains blurry from forming tears, he guesses that maybe he got lucky.
Despite the pain, Dean turns his head to find a growling, wolfed out Cas. Except, this time, he's growling at himself, specifically, his hand and what's in it. There, in between his fingers, is some weird, black rectangle that makes Dean's eyes widen.
"Cas, what's- what's that? …"
Dean shouldn't have spoken, because Cas' eyes turn to him, and he snarls.
"Mate!? Where is mate!?"
Dean furrows his brow in confusion, because- hello- he's right here, but Cas' wolf doesn't seem to think so.
"What have you done to mate!?"
"Cas, it's me!"
The alpha's head swivels around the room, as if to survey it, and he doesn't find what he's searching for apparently, because he's, once again, roaring in Dean's face, "Mate gone! Where is mate!?"
The alpha struggles to get away from Dean, and thankfully, he and Cas must've done enough before all of this, because he slips out easily enough. Dean scrambles to pick up some of the covers to hide himself away.
"Cas, it's me, I swear! I'm Dean!"
"Sound like mate! But not mate!" Cas' glare is down right terrifying, "Other alpha!"
Dean is confused until he remembers what Cas had told him.
"They noted that you only ever acted like an alpha whenever you're in danger. It's like you have another person in you or something, like a schizophrenic. Except this time, it's an alpha who doesn't want you to get hurt."
Before Dean can really think about what to do next, Cas charges at him, and instincts take control. Suddenly, Dean is on the offensive, and he's circling around Cas with just as much venom as his lips pull back in warning.
Cas' eyes remain red, and he returns the gesture as his fist tightens over whatever he pulled out of Dean's neck. This must have been a bad decision or something, because Cas is instantly going batshit crazy as Dean takes the next step.
"Stole mate! Hid mate! Killed mate!" he roars, and he leaps at Dean in a mess of tangled, spastic limbs.
The wolf inside Dean, thankfully, isn't ready to just roll over and expose its belly like before. No, it's shifted into alpha mode to protect Dean, just like Cas had told him it would.
They fall into one heap on the floor, and they're both roaring at each other in a way that makes Dean's rushing blood curdle. Cas' nails are lengthened into claws, and they're scraping jagged gouges into the wooden floor next to Dean's head since Dean is pushing him away. Both of Dean's hands are pressed against Cas' bare chest, and his muscles are shaking with how much he's having to hold back.
"What happened to mate!?"
Cas' wolf is practically begging now.
So is Dean, "Come back to me, Cas, come on."
Dean takes Cas' hand with his own and places it on the bite. Their fingers slip around one another for a moment, but thankfully, Cas' wolf isn't taking the sudden proximity has an opening to rip Dean's throat apart. Instead, the alpha is whimpering. Dean doesn't know why.
"Don't you remember, Cas?"
It looks like Cas is one second away from breaking apart into tiny little pieces- ones that Dean will surely have to string back together with kind words and hushed whispers. Dean's eyes close for a moment, praying that Cas' wolf won't take it as a sign of whatever, but mostly as a chance to attack Dean. Nothing happens though, and for that, Dean is grateful.
"Cas, it's me," Dean pleads brokenly, and he brings up his bloodied hand to Cas' face as it begins to switch between an expression of blind rage and frantic panic, "We need you. I need you."
A few seconds pass, and during them, Dean thinks that he might have actually lost Cas to his wolf for good, but as Cas' eyes begin to dull from the vibrant red to their actual shade of dark blue, Dean can't help but sigh in relief. Cas' eyebrows scrunch at the sight before him until he notices the blood that's smearing his and Dean's hands. He yanks himself back as though he'd been burned.
Of course, that's when Sammy decides that he should barge in.
To cut it short, the youngest Winchester looks horrified at the sight of his naked brother, but furious at the alpha that looms over him. It only worsens when Sammy notices the blood.
"What did you do!?"
"Oh god, not this again," Dean grabs a sheet and wraps it around himself hastily, "Sammy, hold on before you go jumping to conclusions."
"Jumping? Dean, what- ugh, look, this is a pretty compromising thing to walk in on, so sorry if I'm thinking that something bad happened to you again."
Cas, who still seems to be shocked into complete silence, does not defend himself from what Sammy is implying. He only stares at the blank space before him.
"Sammy, there's a reason as to why this happened, and it has nothing to do with Cas."
The other alpha looks at Dean's neck and at the marks on the wooden floor with an accusing expression on his features, "Oh, really? He did nothing?"
Dean sighs, "He had his reasons, Sammy. Just- let me explain everything first before you go all overprotective alpha brother on his ass, okay?"
Sammy only nods, but he lets his gaze settle on to Cas with a strong amount of "if-my-brother-weren't-here-and-you-weren't-my-mate's-brother-I-would-murder-you-myself" written all over his face. Oh, and before you judge, there really isn't any word in the English language to accurately describe that level of pissed offness.
"Cas and I decided to go ahead and mate-"
"Dean-"
"You agreed to wait!" Dean whines childishly.
Sammy groans as he rubs at his face, "Technically, I didn't. But just- ugh, go on, Dean."
Dean huffs, "Thank you… Now, as I was saying before you so rudely interrupted me," Sammy face palms at that, "Cas and I mated, but only because we were having trouble getting a mental connection."
"I'm guessing that you two thought if you finished bonding that it would help?"
"Yeah, I mean, this whole handprint fiasco happened last time we tried to do some mental scoping," Dean gestures to the arm in question, "Either way, we did the deed and then Cas' wolf kinda got pissy."
Sam snorts, "Yeah, no surprise there."
Cas still makes no attempt to defend himself.
"That's actually not his fault."
Sammy looks like he's about to argue when Dean walks over to Cas to grab his closed hand. The alpha doesn't refuse Dean access to the inside of his fist, because his hand opens without much resistance. Laying there on the crimson-stained palm is the black chip thing that had been inside Dean's neck.
"This-" Dean picks it up between his fingertips to show it to his brother, "is what caused his wolf to snap."
As if his trance had been broken, Cas' wolf seems to find a threat in that thing or something, because he's right back to growling like before. His eyes are red and everything.
"See?"
Sammy steps forward then to pull Dean back, "We need to get it and you away from him, Dean."
"Ugh, fine. But you can't stay either. He got territorial with my alpha side, and lord knows what will happen if that beef happens between you two."
The statement causes the other alpha to look at Dean in concern as they close the door behind them, leaving Cas to pace the room as his displeased rumble bellows out, "He fought you because he thought- ... Doesn't he know your scent and stuff?"
"I think that this chip made his wolf lose the ability to recognize me or something," Dean murmurs, "Everything had been going fine until Cas bit into my neck."
"What do you mean?"
Dean sighs, and he pulls the already ruined sheets over the wound in question, "His wolf must've smelled it, because he kept sniffing there. He even said that it smelt weird."
Sammy looks at the tiny black square in Dean's hand with some defeat in his gaze, "Well, what are we going to do now?"
"For starters, I'm going to let Cas reign his wolf back in before I try talking to him. In the meantime, I'm going to try and look through the files of the USB that Zachariah left to see if I can find anything relative to whatever this is, because I'm sure that asshole is the one who put it in my neck."
Sammy doesn't contradict that accusation, "What do you want me to do?"
"Tend to Gabe and see if you can manage to find anything in Cas' past that might set him off or- I don't know. Look, this thing really bothers Cas, and I want to know why. Zachariah seems like the kind of vindictive, sadistic bastard who would put a personal touch on his torture devices."
Again, Sammy makes no argument, "Alright, I'll see what I can dig up. Good luck."
Dean nods, "Yeah, to you too."
Just as Dean's walking away, his brother stops him, "Dean?"
"Yeah?"
Sammy looks down at the floor for a moment, and then he glances back up again, "If- if Cas doesn't- … You know that I'll take care of it, right?"
Dean swallows uneasily as a whine rises in his chest, causing Sammy to grimace at the horrified expression that is more than likely on his face, "I do…"
Before Sammy can make any promises to put Cas down like the dog he might become, Dean stumbles down the hallway in hopes to save his mate before his wolf takes over.
…
(Day 8)
"Sammy, this is it."
The alpha looks up from where he's holding Gabe's limp hand within his own, "What did you find?"
Dean sets the small packet of paper down, "Vial one-ninety-three. It took me a bit to figure out what 'A. Irr.' meant until it dawned on me…"
"Alpha irritant," the two say at once.
The hybrid nods, "Yeah, exactly. They apparently tested it on me while they still had the chance. They must have put a test trial thing in me or something."
"Were they trying to keep any alphas away from you while you were there?"
"No, but… Maybe they did it because I was supposed to help out Michael."
Sammy stares at his older brother in confusion, "Who's Michael?"
"His last name isn't Scott, but he's Zachariah's younger brother," Dean begins, "He has some disorder where alphas can't sate him during a heat. They thought that maybe I could come in and help him out or something. This thing might have kept alphas away from me so I could focus on Michael or some shit."
"Well, it doesn't really matter about why they did it anymore," Sammy rubs at his hair as Gabe shifts in his sleep, "Has Cas recovered?"
"I haven't seen him since last night," Dean informs his brother, "I went into our room and he was gone... I think- I think he might have ran off on me again…"
"I'm guessing that things aren't all perfect in paradise?"
Dean shakes his head, "No, it's not like that… It's just- we're under a lot of stress. You know, with Gabe being sick, with Zachariah breathing down our necks, and even with Cas' wolf acting out just because it can. It's a miracle that Cas and I haven't fought like this sooner, honestly."
"Speaking of which, I think I know why it affected Cas so badly."
Dean raises a brow.
"Gabe was telling me about Cas' relationship. Apparently, he used to help beekeep with Amelia," Dean tries not to twitch at the name, but he remains still as a stone as Sammy goes on, "Your scent was a little weird when you came back. I didn't think anything about it at first, but… Dean, you smelled like honey for a bit."
"Of fucking course," Dean murmurs, "Of course I'd end up reminding Cas and his wolf of that mess."
"Dean, this isn't your fault-"
Dean shakes his head, "I know it isn't, but god damn, Sammy. That's still pretty shitty."
The youngest Winchester shrugs, "Yeah, I guess it is…"
"Just- I'll be back, okay?" Dean looks over his shoulder to see Sammy return to fretting over Gabe, "Keep an eye on him."
"When don't I?" Sammy murmurs, and he brushes a few stray bands of hair out of Gabe's face.
Dean's mood sours a little more at the sight, but he shakes his head and forces himself to walk away.
He's got his own mate to worry about.
Thankfully, it doesn't take long to find the alpha in question. Either Cas knows that it's a little irrational to go running off into the forest, because really, that's just asking for it, or he just wants to stay close just in case something happens. It doesn't matter as to why Cas didn't stray too far, because Dean is grateful for it nonetheless.
The hybrid comes up behind his mate, and his words are soft as they are spoken, "Hey, Cas."
The alpha stops looking at and touching some bud on a branch, and his hand falls back to his side slowly, "I'm assuming that you found something."
Wow, Cas. Way to be welcoming.
Dean clears his throat, "Uh, yeah, I did. It's right here in this packet. It's under 'vial one-ninety-three'."
Dean holds out the papers, but Cas makes no move towards them. Dean ushers them forward once more, only to get a warning growl in response.
"I don't want to read them, Dean."
"Yeah, well, I don't want you to be an ass either, but it seems like both of us aren't getting what we want."
The other werewolf sighs, "Dean, not now, please."
"Not now? You're going to tell me that this- this- whatever this is- can't happen now?" Dean scoffs incredulously, "Cas, in case you haven't noticed, we don't really have time to fuck around. I even remember you telling me that more than once."
Cas' shoulders tense, but he still refrains from facing Dean head on, "While I know that time is scarce, I don't want to talk about this-"
"We have to, Cas, whether you and I like it or not," Dean rubs at his face with his free hand, and his other with the papers falls to his side once more, "What happened last night, while shitty, needs to be discussed. I know that you're probably hating on yourself right now, but you've got to brush that self-worth issue out of the way so we can focus on why all of that happened."
"Dean, drop it," Cas growls in warning, but Dean doesn't back off.
"Will you just listen to me-"
Cas turns around with a snarl, and Dean finds himself scrambling back a few steps in fear.
His eyes are red.
"C-Cas?"
The alpha must notice that something is up, or he already knows about the issue, because he quickly returns to facing the tree as he was before. This time, however, Dean is trying to find out if he can manage to hold his breath for even a second.
"I- I'm sorry…"
Dean's heart races like a rabbit's whenever it's stalked.
"I meant to tell you, but- … My eyes haven't changed back," Cas' voice begins to crack as he goes on with the admission, "My control is slipping."
"But you're going to be okay, right?" Dean takes a hesitant step closer, "You're going to still be Cas?"
Cas' head hangs lower as the seconds press on, "I'm afraid that my wolf is winning, Dean… Just this morning, I snapped on a beta because my wolf thought that them not baring their neck to me was a sign of defiance."
"But that's true, right?"
"Not when they're blind, it's not," Cas rubs at his face, "Dean, I don't- I don't know how much longer that I'll have left until I can't pull back from that."
Dean's eyes begin to blur with tears, and his hand outstretches itself to reach for Cas' shoulder. It's as though the alpha will slip away at any moment, right past the tips of Dean's pleading fingers- as if the alpha will turn into dust, and Dean will be left among the ashes of what was once someone he'd completely and utterly loved.
It reminds Dean of losing Adam. It reminds him of the pain- the heartbreak. It reminds Dean about how affected he and Sammy were afterwards, about how they wouldn't eat and how they barely slept. They'd stare at blank walls for hours on end, wishing for their brother to come back- to be anywhere but that shallow grave that John broke down over- as they picked at the sodden dirt underneath their untrimmed fingernails from when they helped bury him.
It's a burn and an ache that Dean can never quite forget- and here it is again, greedly wrapping its flames around Cas to singe the humanity out of him, only to leave the wolf. God- Dean thought that he'd never have to go through the process of losing someone like that again, let alone his own mate, for Christ's sake-
"You're crying…"
Dean yanks his hand back from Cas' shoulder, thinking better about the contact, since it might set of the other's already temperamental wolf. He brings his fingers up to his cheek slowly, and it's there that he finds freshly shed tears.
"I- I guess that I am…"
"I'm sorry," Cas blurts, "I- I don't want to have to put you through this again."
Dean's inhale is shaky as more tears stream down his face, "You make it sound like you're about to slip away…"
"Maybe I am, Dean. Who knows how long I've got left, exactly? …" the alpha, surprisingly, comes up to Dean so he can wrap his arms around his mate, "Either way, I'll try to stay as long as I can."
At that promise, Dean sobs outright, "Ugh, you ass… Why can't you tell your wolf to fuck off?"
Cas snorts softly, and his arms encase Dean a little tighter as the hybrid cries into his shirt, "Because I can't, and you know that as well as I do… Dean, I- I never meant to hurt you like this."
Dean shakes his head, "It's not your fault- and last night too, that wasn't you either."
"But Dean-"
"Zachariah put some device thing in my neck," Dean begins, and he doesn't remove his face from Cas' chest in fear of his mate fading into the wind like an afterthought, "He made it to piss off your wolf. That's what you found when you bit me, and that's what caused your wolf to go batshit."
Cas is stiff by the end of it, and he pulls Dean away from him just a little bit, only enough to where they can meet the other's gaze, "Do you think he might anything to do with my wolf making me go rogue?"
"H-He might," Dean's throat moves painfully as he swallows, "but I'm not sure. He's definitely making things worse, I k-know that much for certain."
Cas pulls Dean back against him, and he sets his head on top of Dean's, "God, Dean, I am so sorry."
The hybrid closes his eyes and takes in a deep breath, "I wish that we didn't have to act like you're about to leave me in the next second…"
"I know, but Dean-" Cas pauses for a moment, "If- If I do go rogue, I can't promise if I won't hurt you or not-"
"Please, I don't want to go down this road…"
Cas exhales softly over the shell of Dean's ear, "It seems like both of us aren't getting what we want today."
Well, that just makes Dean want to cry a lot.
"Dean, we need to discuss what you need to do if it happens," the alpha murmurs, and suddenly, Dean finds himself sobbing into his shirt, "I know that it hurts, Dean, but- we have to… Just in case."
Dean shakes his head, "But I don't want have to think about losin' you, Cas! I don't want to have to talk about putting you down like some rabid dog!"
"I know that you don't want to, but we have to, Dean. I could snap, or worse, and I may hurt someone," Cas wraps his arms around Dean, as if to hold onto his mate before he can't anymore, "We need to plan for the worst before it happens."
Dean wants to breakdown right there in Cas' arms, because even though Cas is hanging on a string right about now, his embrace seems like a hell of a good place to do it. So Dean does.
He whimpers as he grips onto the fabric of Cas' tee tightly, and he fights back a wave of nausea that rocks his poor stomach back and forth relentlessly. The hybrid whines high in his throat at the thought of losing his mate, and he finds himself latching onto any inch of Cas that his desperate grip can reach.
"I'm haven't left yet," the alpha murmurs.
Yet.
There it is. The unspoken truth.
The one about how Cas is going to shift into his wolf- about how he isn't going to shift back. It's like a war they've been fighting is coming to a close, and they both know that they will not come out of it as the victors.
"H-How long?"
"I'm not certain, but with the rate that my control has been deteriorating…" Cas trails off for a moment, "Maybe a few months, at best."
"Don't say 'at best'," Dean hisses, "Nothing about that is good."
Cas sighs in sudden irritation, "Would you rather have me tell you that I only have days instead?"
The hybrids quiets for a moment, "You really don't have to be an ass right now."
"I didn't-" the alpha makes a noise, "Sorry, it's just- my wolf is irritable if nothing else… I didn't mean to snap on you."
"We really don't have long then, do we?"
Cas waits for a few seconds, and his eyes are soft with a sadness that Dean has never seen before, even when they had spoken about Amelia, "No, we don't."
Dean tries to ground himself with a long, deep breath, "Then we need to focus on getting this Zachariah thing out of the way while we still can."
"Any ideas on what we should do?"
"I think that we should see if we can do mental stuff with Gabe."
Cas' jaw drops, "But you're not really ready yet-"
"Then we're just going to have to wing it," Dean grits out, "We don't have much of a choice, Cas. Your control is slipping and time is running out. We don't have many options here."
"But we could screw something up-"
Dean shuts Cas up with a peck of his lips, and he means to go on about how they don't have the luxury of waiting- or basically everything that's already been said a hundred times before- but Cas seems adamant on kissing Dean.
It's on the fourth or fifth breath that Dean remembers that they haven't really kissed much before this, and now that Cas' wolf threatens to take everything- to take Cas- away, that maybe the alpha wants to put these moments away for safe keeping.
"Cas," his name rolls off of Dean's tongue with an exhale, and Dean can feel the other werewolf's hands snake up the hem of his shirt, "D-Do you think that now is a good time?"
"Question of the year," Cas sighs and sets his forehead against Dean's, "I know that we shouldn't, but… Give me this, Dean, please. Just give me one chance to love you while I can."
The alpha is pleading Dean realizes, and yeah, the hybrid starts that whole crying thing again.
Dean bites his lip for a moment, and he can't help but feel Cas' hands on him as they trace over him- as they commit him to memory- and he can't help at feeling just as desperate as Cas is.
"Just be careful," Dean chokes out, and Cas perks up, "I don't fancy having bark scrape my back or anything."
Cas smiles, "I wasn't going to put you against a tree, Dean. In fact, I've already picked out a spot."
"You've planned this out?"
Cas begins to lead Dean away with his hand, "I did this before everything had happened, weirdly enough. I knew that you were my mate, or at least, my wolf did while I was still trying to figure you out. It was after you went into heat, and I just- knew. I found this a day afterwards, and I've been meaning to bring you along to it for some time now."
"Well, we have been busy recently."
Cas huffs, "Don't we all know it."
Dean is about to make some sarcastic remark until he can't. Words are lost to complete surprise when Dean comes upon what he thinks to be a network of holes formed in the side of a huge hill. Lush grass covers the ground, and trees shroud the area.
Dean lets go of Cas' hand to walk forward a few steps, "W-What's this?"
"It's some old group of dens that I stumbled across," Cas says from behind Dean, "I don't know who made them or where they are, but going by the stale scents, they certainly aren't here anymore."
Dean opens his mouth only to close it, and he turns to his mate, "This isn't some werewolf lingo thing, is it?"
"It might be," Cas murmurs.
"You know that you're going to have to explain. I'm still learning that stuff."
Cas smiles, and he comes up to Dean's side, "It's called courting."
"Courting," Dean parrots stupidly.
"Yes, it's for when an alpha is trying to impress their mate."
Dean blushes, "But you know, we already did the do, so… I don't see why you would try to make my wolf and me feel like a princess."
Cas' grin grows, "It's mostly because I want to. You deserve to feel pampered, Dean."
"Well, what does this den set up mean in Balto-language?"
The alpha is suddenly pulling Dean closer, and his chuckle makes Dean shiver as it vibrates against the shell of the hybrid's ear, "Think of it as a home proposal."
"A h-home?" Dean tries not to feel embarrassed as Cas' fingertips slightly slip past the band of his jeans, "Uh, sorry to judge your gift, Cas, but there's only two of us. This place is like, a set up for an entire pack."
Cas nods, "I know."
"But there's going to be so much empty space in there if we move out of the pack house and into here," Dean looks towards the earthy home in question, "It's going to take up to twenty people to fill this dang thing."
"I know," the alpha repeats.
Dean makes a face at his mate, "You certainly are letting me know why in the hell you're giving this to me with so much empty space."
"Dean," Cas begins, and he saunters a little closer, "what do you do when things are empty?"
"You throw it out?"
Cas smiles at that, "Pertaining to some things, that is true, but what about a house?"
Dean furrows his brow out of frustration, "Cas, I'm really not getting this."
"Dean, when you're house is empty, you fill it."
"Or you could move," Dean looks back to the dens again, "I mean, the gift is appreciated, Cas, but I don't want to be labeled a hoarder. It's going to take a lot of things to fill this place."
The alpha sighs, "You ruined the moment."
"No I didn't," Dean feels like he's sounding like some kid whenever a teacher accuses them of something, "I just don't understand what you're trying to tell me here."
"Dean, we're not going to fill this with items, we're going to fill it with people."
Dean shakes his head, "Yeah, but why would you move your pack out of the house when-"
"I'm talking about having kids, Dean."
"Oh…"
"Yes, oh."
The hybrid knows that the shade of red he must be at the moment is probably something close to comical, "I, uh, wow. I'm stupid."
Cas chuckles, "No, you're just slow sometimes. That's okay, though. It's different."
The alpha begins to lead Dean towards the dens, "Different how?"
"Gabe always figures out what his gifts or surprises are before they are even given to him or put together. I remember that for his birthday one year, I was setting up a party at a fancy restaurant. You could only imagine the face that the usher made whenever I came an hour early, only to find out that the guest of honor had beaten me there and had already ate two appetizers while he waited for me."
Dean blinks, "Wow. Remind me to never get his presents early."
"Doesn't matter if you wait till last minute," Cas mutters somewhat bitterly as they begin to near the main entrance, "He'll remind you about it, and maybe, if he's feeling generous enough, he'll tell you that he's already wrapped it up for himself and that he'll act surprised when he opens it."
"I'm just going to skip your brother whenever it's Christmas, then," Dean's comment makes the alpha laugh.
Cas begins to undress, which, of course, makes Dean blush, but the alpha remains so nonchalant about it that Dean finds his reaction a little unwarranted. Besides, they've already seen each other naked. Why would now be so different?
"You're staring," he smirks as he comments on Dean's behavior, "Like what you see?"
Dean swallows awkwardly, "I, um…"
"Didn't you tease me about being flustered before?" Cas comes a little closer, and his teeth poke out from under his stretched lips, "Huh, I guess that the tables have turned this time around, haven't they?"
"Look at this photograph…" Dean mumbles as Cas closes in, "Every time I do it makes me laugh…"
Cas' playful smirk disappears, and what's left on his features is a scowl as he gazes judgmentally at his mate, "Are you singing Nickleback, Dean?"
The hybrid clears his throat, "How did our eyes get so red? … And what the hell is on Joey's head?"
"Dean-"
"And this is where I grew up… I think the present owner fixed it up…"
Cas groans, "Stop-"
"I never knew we'd ever went without… The second floor is hard for sneaking out…"
The alpha rolls his eyes, "Ugh, nevermind."
Dean breathes out a sigh of relief, "Oh good, I wasn't exactly ready for a thrashing just yet."
"You are so lewd."
"Yet you love me, doofus," Dean begins to undress then, believing that it's safe.
It isn't.
When Dean finishes getting his tee over his head, he finds that Cas is staring at him almost hungrily.
"Uh, Cas?"
The alpha doesn't respond. He only stares.
Dean swallows awkwardly, but continues undressing.
He hears the low rumble begin off to the side as he starts to undo the button on his jeans. Normally, Dean would flirt like a motherfucker in this situation, but with Cas' wolf and all of that other stuff, he's not too keen on finding out where that line between humanity and wolf begins in his mate.
"Dean," his name is rough and is spoken lowly.
Dean looks up from where he's beginning to pull down his fly, "Sup."
Cas' gaze is fixated on the zipper held between his fingers, "D-Did you go commando?"
"I might have," the hybrid furrows his brow, "Is that a bad thing? I mean, it doesn't really hurt or chafe, despite popular belief. If anything, it feels a whole lot better. If you want me to stop, then I'll try, but I might slip up because I've been doing this for years."
Cas' eye twitches, "Years? …"
"Yeah, years," Dean says nonchalantly, "I remember I scared Sammy to death once. He thought it would've been funny to pants me or somethin'. It didn't really work out for either of us. We still don't want to talk about it."
The alpha's throat flexes with a gulp, "Y-You flashed your brother?"
"It wasn't like I meant to," Dean turns around so he can finish undoing his fly, because yes, he does like some privacy just in case some delicates might get caught in the zip, "At first he was like 'ohmygod did I pull down your underwear' and I was just like, 'no because I'm not wearing any' and yeah, that sitch was a clusterfuck."
For a second, Dean thinks that he can hear a growl from Cas, but as he raises his head up in confusion, the sound dissipates as quickly as it had come. He goes back to his fly, and with a smile, it comes undone without catching anything. Dean begins to bend down to pull of his shoes when another growl stops him short.
The hybrid looks over his shoulder to see Cas staring blatantly, "Uh, Cas? Are you eyeing my ass?"
"I might be," he murmurs.
"It's nice, isn't it?" Dean smiles, and he pats the left cheek appreciatively, causing Cas to lick his lips, "On the floor! My girl got a loose caboose! On the floor! My Julie got a booty!"
"Monkeybone?"
Dean shrugs, "It was on Netflix and I was bored."
The alpha stills seems distracted, though, "Speaking of bone…"
"And you said that I'm lewd," Dean scoffs as he pulls of his shoes, "But look at you, over here talkin' 'bout dicks n' shit."
Cas only smiles.
"Well, just keep yourself in check," Dean says as he pulls down his jeans.
There's a strained whine from behind him.
"Cas?" Dean turns to see Cas holding himself back, "You're good, right?"
Cas' eyes have shifted into a brighter, starker shade of red, "My wolf is a little pleased with recent developments."
Dean laughs softly, and he strikes a random, ridiculous pose, "Is my body good enough, senpai?"
"If this is how you talk dirty, then I'd have to say I'm unimpressed."
Dean gawks at his mate, "Excuse you. This ass is first class, mind you, and it can prance itself all the way back into the house-"
"Are you taunting me?"
"Bitch I might be," Dean puts his hands on the jut of his hips and looks at Cas, "Now, no pun intended, I think that we've spent enough time fucking around."
Cas rolls his eyes lightly, "Fine, but understand that I'm going to remember this for later."
Dean smirks, "I'm counting on it, alpha."
Oh! There it is! The 'bedroom eyes'- well, more like blood red irises that make it seem like a puzzle that Cas just wants to take apart. Well, he'll never be able to put it together or whatever, because you know, shit be cray. Not only that, Dean and Cas had already tried that shit, except the puzzle was a coffee table from IKEA.
"Okay, that's it," Dean throws the plastic peg onto the ground with a growl, "I've read these damn instructions at least a thousand times, and it's still not working or something. This shit is officially labeled as defective."
Cas snorts off to the side, "Really? Last time I checked them, that piece goes to this one-"
"Oh, good for you, you god damn furniture guru," Dean hisses, "If you're so good at it, then you fix this piece of shit. But, I don't think that you'll get that far since it's nothing but a hunk of junk."
The alpha glares at his mate, "It's not a 'hunk of junk', Dean. It's just a nightstand."
"Yeah, a shit one. Like look at this," Dean holds up one of the legs beside another to show the difference between the squares, "This one is an inch short or whatever. I think it might have gotten sawed wrong or chipped."
"Dean, it's not broken," Cas grits out, and he comes over to show Dean the illustration of all of the parts, "That's the drawer's knob. This model only has three legs, not four."
The hybrid groans, "It's not my fault that you bought one of those 'modern' designs."
"Whatever. I'll just return it."
Cas had stormed off after that to go return- yeah okay, you get the point by now.
Either way, it doesn't change the fact that the alpha is looking at Dean like he could ravish the hell out of him at any given moment.
"So, um, what now?"
"I'm guessing that I should let you explore the dens," Cas says easily, but his eyes darken in a way that makes Dean wonder if that's really all there is to this, "Go ahead and shift. I'll catch up to you."
Dean nods, and his gaze falls away from Cas awkwardly. He shifts quickly, and he knows that by the deep rumble off to the side that he should head inside now.
Dean's snout goes in first, and he quickly pushes himself in through the entryway before Cas can jump him. The hybrid sniffs around, and he can see what Cas was saying about the stale scents. His wolf's interest is peaked as he begins to scent the inside of what seems to be the main den.
Home, mate provided us with home.
His wolf purrs inside of his head as Dean continues exploring, and meanwhile, the wolf continues its chanting.
Mate gave us home for pack. Room for pups.
If Dean were in human form, he would be blushing a horrid shade of red by this point.
"Shush, will you?" Dean whispers to himself, or rather, to his wolf, "I get what it means. You don't have to be doin' some mental ritual for me to understand."
There's a shuffle from the entryway, and Dean pivots to see Cas' black form come through, "What are your thoughts so far?"
"Spacious," Dean blurts, only to realize that he must've said the alpha's safe word or some shit, because Cas' huge-pupil eyes are back, "Uh, it's also a little musty."
"It's the old scents," he rumbles, and he comes closer to Dean to rub against him with a low purr, "We can replace them soon enough with our own."
Take that back from earlier, Dean's sure that his fur must change tint or something, because Cas seems to be wholly aware of the effect he is having on the hybrid.
"Well, I, uh," Dean hates being flustered, ugh, "I'm sure that we will one day."
Dean takes the silence from Cas to keep on inspecting his gift, and with a gulp, Dean pads forward through the dugout tunnels to see other parts of the vast network. His wolf is still being an ass as he continues on exploring, because it keeps ranting and raving about Cas' ability to provide and to protect- and wow, Dean is so not used to this influx of canine-speak.
It doesn't matter either way, because Dean's thoughts are ripped away from his wolf to what's in front of him as he comes across an even bigger den than the one he first walked into. In fact, it's so big that Dean knows that he'll have ample room to stand up in human form.
However, the sight that has him gaping are the furs and blankets covering the floor, and that there are small shelf-like spaces dug out of the walls to hold candles.
"I made a few changes," Cas' sudden voice makes Dean jolt a little, but he turns to face his mate as he comes up beside him, "I thought that it would be nice to make it more comfortable and homey."
"Cas, this is-" Dean's muzzle opens and closes for a few moments, "Wow, this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me."
At that, the alpha's chest puffs out proudly, "I was supposed to make a skylight or something similar, but time wasn't permitting."
"Why a skylight?"
"I'd imagined that you'd like to sleep under the stars or in warm sunlight without risking yourself to whatever might be outside," Cas licks behind Dean's ear affectionately, "I want you to be safe and relaxed."
Dean gives in to his wolf's pleading by leaning into Cas' touches, "Well, thanks, Cas. It means a lot."
"It's what mates are supposed to do for one another."
The hybrid looks down at his paws, "I don't mean to be a buzzkill here, but… There's not much that I can give you, is there?"
"There is one thing," the alpha murmurs, and that's when he nips on Dean's scruff.
It's all over then.
Dean flops down to expose his belly almost instantly, and he whines in the back of his throat as he presents himself to his mate. The other werewolf is on him in seconds, and he's purring at the offer that Dean is giving him.
"I'll do it right this time," Cas whispers as he licks Dean's face softly, "I won't let the wolf take over like it had."
Dean's breath comes out roughly, "But Cas-"
"I'll do whatever I can to keep it from stealing this moment away from me," he presses his now human nose into Dean's scruff, "It's not taking this from me. Not this time."
Dean decides to shift himself, and when he opens his eyes, Cas is staring at him warmly, "Hey there, Cas."
"Hello, Dean."
Dean knows that, going by the look in Cas' eyes, the smile on his face must be a sight to see. The alpha rumbles happily as he goes back to nosing Dean's neck like he had been before.
"I'm going to love you like I should," Cas states, and that's when he moves down Dean's body by kissing him as he lowers himself.
"What do you mean by that?" Dean asks as he shifts lightly, and he only stops when he's leaning on his elbows.
The alpha looks up from the jut of Dean's hip bone to smile, "Let me show you."
Dean opens his mouth to say something, but instead of having words slip out, a moan does instead, because Cas is- well, he is mouthy when he wants to be, isn't he?
The furs are soft against Dean's back while the blankets are warm, and both of them are what Dean's hands grip onto as he loses himself to sensation. Cas is thorough in his ministrations, and he makes sure that Dean can feel everything that he's doing to him down below.
"God, Cas," the hybrid's voice is about as steady as his twitching muscles, "Why didn't you do this sooner?"
Cas laps at Dean like he's getting to eat the finest cuisine that the world has to offer, and when he comes up to talk to the other werewolf, his lips are shiny and glistening with what Dean imagines to be slick, "We didn't have the time, remember?"
"And we do now?"
The alpha sighs as he sets his face against the inner side of Dean's thigh, "This is a treat for both of us, Dean," Cas' closes his eyes as he nuzzles Dean's skin softly, "I meant for our first time to be like this, but like most things recently, it just didn't happen that way."
"When does it ever?"
Cas' eyes open, and his expression is a little sour as he looks at Dean.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to- …" Dean trails off and averts his gaze from his mate, "I didn't mean to ruin the moment…"
Cas brings himself up to Dean's face, and as he moves, he lets fingers ghost against Dean's skin as he passes by, "Dean, is there something you want to tell me?"
The hybrid is still looking towards his chest, even as the alpha stops when there is only a few centimeters left in between their faces, "It's just- Cas… Why can't we have an ounce of good luck? An iota of happiness? Why are all these things going wrong when we've never had anything go right?"
"I don't know."
Dean pulls Cas' forehead against his own, "Why am I losing you when I haven't had a chance to have you yet?"
"I don't know."
The hybrid lets out a shaky breath, and he presses chaste kisses over his mate's face for a few seconds before speaking, "I don't want to lose you, Cas… Just- why now, out of all times? Why when we've just started this together?"
"I don't know."
"Neither do I," Dean murmurs.
Cas rumbles over Dean, and he rubs his face against Dean's. The hybrid closes his eyes once more to relish the contact, and he lets his hands come up to cup the alpha's face as they lie against one another.
"Cas?"
"Yes, Dean?" the alpha pulls back enough to where they can look at each other.
Dean swallows, "I was thinking that I could get to love you this time."
"What do you mean?"
The hybrid gingerly runs his fingertips over Cas' arms, causing goosebumps to appear on his flesh as he sighs out and leans into the touch, "You shouldn't spend what time you have left worryin' about me like this. It seems kind of unfair, you know?"
Cas raises his head at that.
"I should be able to love you too before you're gone," Dean murmurs, "I know that it sounds so damning, but, I don't want to act like everything's okay when it's not. I don't want to have to feel regret and guilt if the time comes. I want to know that I loved you just as much as you loved me."
The alpha's eyes get a little watery, and he nuzzles Dean's neck to fight whatever he must be feeling. Lord knows that Dean feels the same way.
Dean flips them over to where Cas is on his back and he's lying on top of him, causing Cas to make a noise of confusion as Dean takes a deep breath.
"Close your eyes," Dean instructs, watching as the alpha does as he's told, "Just feel this, okay? Don't worry about anything else. There's just us. Nothing more, nothing less."
Dean presses his lips together in a fine line, and he waits a few moments before he kisses Cas' lips softly. Ever so carefully, Cas kisses Dean back, his lips chasing after Dean's with a small hint of hunger- like a zesting of desire and want. Dean lets it go on for a few more seconds, just so he can memorize the plush feel of his mate's lips against his own, that way, when the time comes, he won't feel as forlorn and broken when he knows that these memories- these precious seconds- will be all he'll have left to sate an ever growing need to pull Cas close and to keep him there.
But we all know that he won't be able to.
So he touches, he feels, he tastes and scents. He does this to Cas until all of his senses are helping him create one of the most vivid memories that he can call his own, and the whole time, Cas believes it to be Dean trying to get his own needs met, but his perception is a little off.
You see, Dean needs to remember his mate before he's completely forgotten.
"God, Dean," the alpha exhales shakily as Dean's mouth traces the curve of the other's collarbone.
Dean lets his mouth ghost over the planes of Cas' flesh until it's sore and chapped, and even then, he can't help but bring it back up to Cas' lips to taste him once more. The alpha's eyes are still closed as his hand cups up to embed its fingers into Dean's nape, and once they're entangled in dirty blonde strands, Dean decides that it's time to begin the second part of his process.
Without breaking the kiss apart, Dean grabs Cas' member with a fluid flick of the wrist, and he maneuvers it until he can slide back onto it without any issues. Cas' lips wetly pop off of Dean's with strands of saliva bridged across the empty space, and they tremble like the threads on a spider's web when it's caught something up entirely. Heated breaths brush past both of their faces, and Dean has to take a moment when he's assaulted by the lovely combination of his and Cas' scents intertwined in a way the reminds Dean of roots when they grow too close.
Dean rocks back onto the alpha with an experimental roll of his hips, causing Cas to gasp and grip onto Dean's scarred shoulder once more. Pleasure flows through Dean's veins and in through their bond, and Dean pushes through it to keep on going instead of melting. Cas is a mess of groans and curses beneath him as he moves, and Dean can't help but smirk affectionately at how disheveled he can make his mate.
"You good?" he asks breathily, watching as Cas strains and arches his muscles beneath him.
"It's- it's a lot to process," Cas' mouth is open as he pants.
Dean purrs, "You can open your eyes now, if you want…"
Cas opens his eyes, and for a moment, they are that perfect blue that Dean has come to adore more than anything. It's so shocking that Dean stops altogether to just stare at Cas' irises. The alpha quirks a brow and looks at Dean in confusion.
"What's wrong?"
However, despite Dean's high hopes, blue shifts into a purple, and then back into that shade of red that tells Dean he's going to lose everything he's ever wanted in just a few short weeks.
"Nothing," Dean murmurs almost bitterly, and he drops his gaze away from Cas' so he doesn't break down on top of him pathetically, "It's nothing."
"Are you okay? If you're hurting or anything, we can stop-"
"I'm fine."
That's a lie.
Cas makes a face, "Are you sure? You don't sound fine…"
"I'm sure, and I am fine. I'm just a little breathless, is all."
I'm also a little broken on the inside, but hey, there's more important things here than me.
Cas is about to say something else, but the hybrid moves again to distract and cut off his mate, and he hopes that Cas won't smell the disappointment that is more than likely rolling off of him in unfiltered waves.
Thankfully, it works, because Cas is back into it almost instantly. Dean, however, isn't. He can't help but keep his mind off of what's going to happen soon enough, and that somehow, an infinity became something finite.
"Just like that," Cas moans, and he lets his head fall back onto the floor enough to stretch his neck out.
Dean goes about it by judging Cas' reactions. He moves in a way that seems the most pleasurable to the other. He flexes and rocks; he twists and stretches. His hand slides against Cas'- palms sweaty, skin hot- and their fingertips brush each other with each and every move that Dean makes. Dean's wrist begins to tingle when Cas gingerly grabs onto it, holding onto its pulse point formed by blueberry veins that snake around one another like vines trying to reach the warmth of the sun.
Despite Dean's initial refusal to tend to his own desires, a buzz builds up inside of him nonetheless. He supposes that it plays into their bond, because Cas seems like he's at the end of his rope as his eyes stare up at Dean in an unfocused, hazy manner.
"I love you," the alpha blurts, and it's in a way that makes Dean believe he's high on the adrenaline of sex, "God, I just love you so fucking much, Dean."
"I love you too, Cas," the hybrid leans back down onto Cas just as they both climax.
Cas shudders and grips onto him, locking his palm over his handprint's mark on Dean's skin, "What did I ever do to deserve you?"
What did you ever do to lose me?
"I don't know," Dean lays his head down on Cas' chest, grateful for the fact that Cas can't see the tears that are beginning to fall.
He can however, feel them as they land, because he makes a whining noise as he pulls Dean's gaze to his by a gentle, guiding finger pressed to Dean's chin.
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Cas seems frantic, and his red eyes search all over Dean for some sign of damage, which just makes it hurt all the more.
"No, you didn't," Dean murmurs.
Cas brushes away a tear with the pad of his thumb, "This is about me going rogue, isn't it?"
Dean lowers his gaze to Cas' chest as, just like a child pouting, his lip trembles stereotypically and he sniffs to keep an embarrassing bubble of snot from escaping.
Way to go, Winchester. You cried after having sex. You're officially now the butt of your own joke.
"Dean, talk to me."
Dean looks up to meet red, and he just can't-
Cas coos as Dean cries above him, and he rubs soothing circles in Dean's back, "It's okay."
"No it's not- it's not fair," Dean's hand tightens in a fist over Cas' heart, "We shouldn't have to act like you're dying, but we are. We shouldn't be talking about the end when we- when we just started shit!"
"I wish that this wasn't happening just as much as you are, Dean," Cas sighs, "But it's still going to become a reality."
Dean shakes his head, "Don't talk like you're already gone, Cas."
Cas pulls Dean down until they are lying against one another completely, "I'm still here."
"But for how long?"
"I don't know."
The hybrid laughs bitterly as tears roll onto the alpha's chest, "That's the catch, isn't it? We're going to make the best of the time that we don't know you have left?"
"If you wanted to," Cas murmurs, "I'm perfectly fine with going back to how things were."
"But we can't go back to that, can we?"
Cas remains silent.
Dean lets out a shaky breath, "Cas, can you promise me somethin'?"
"Anything."
"Remind me to tell you that I love you everyday."
Cas' brow furrows, "Don't you want it to be the other way around?"
Dean shakes his head, and he smiles sadly, "Cas, I'd be an idiot if I didn't know that you loved me by this point."
"I suppose that's true," after a pause, the alpha kisses Dean's forehead, "For as long as I have left, Dean Winchester, I'll make sure that you'll tell me that you love me."
"Good," Dean nods lightly, and he presses his lips together tightly before letting his head rest against Cas' chest.
He listens to the heartbeat below his ear thump with the knowledge that one day, he won't get to do this anymore.
"Dean," Cas speaks up suddenly, making Dean's head perk up to look at his mate, "Do you love me?"
Dean smiles for a few seconds before it gives way to a solemn expression of affection, "Yes, Cas, I do."
"How much?"
Dean watches as Cas leans up on his elbows, "As much as I can."
"For how long?"
His eyes dart down to Cas' lips as they near his own, "For as long as I can."
They kiss until their lips are numb and their eyelids droop, and they fall asleep in each other's arms knowing that it'll all soon come to an end.
…
(Day 9)
"Red isn't your color," Gabe jokes as the trio sits in the room together.
Dean's eyes dart from Cas' to Sammy's, but neither of the alphas comment on it.
Dean licks his lips and swallows, "So, um, Gabe, how are you feelin', buddy?"
"Sore and tired," he yawns, "You know, the usual."
The hybrid smirks weakly, "You feel good enough to try this out?"
"It's not like I've got much choice here, Dean-o," the omega coughs, "Just get it over and done with. I've never been this sick of, well, being sick."
Dean risks a glance at his brother, and he sees how he grips onto the edges of the wooden chair he's sitting in hard enough for his nails to dig marks out into the poor wood.
"Well, um," Dean looks back at Gabe just as he hears the chair snap, "Here goes nothing…"
Dean grabs onto Gabe's hand and closes his eyes. He focuses on getting into Gabe's head, and wow- that's definitely something he did not want to see.
"Oh god," Dean scowls as he chases the images of his naked brother away, "Gabe, you've got a sick mind."
"Not sick," the omega corrects, "It's tasteful."
Dean grimaces, "I don't think so."
"Dean, just hurry up and heal him!" Sammy snaps, only to have Cas growl at him.
"Ugh, stop it you two. Your overprotective alphaness isn't going to help anyone or anything out here," Gabe snarks.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take too much to heal Gabe. Surprisingly, after all was said and done, Gabe's body was doing a pretty good job of keeping the little omega afloat, it was just a little worn out from having to keep two people alive and healthy. Turns out that all Gabe's body needed was just a little shove of energy in the right direction, and he was right as rain.
"We got really lucky," Cas says later on when he and Dean are eating dinner alone.
Dean looked up from his mashed potatoes and smiled sadly, "If only luck carried over."
The only other thing that's exchanged between the two are their vows of love, and nothing more.
...
(Day 12)
They fall into an easy kind of routine that works for the both of them. They don't really bring up the fact that Cas' eyes are turning into a darker shade of red as the days pass on, but it's okay.
It's not, actually.
…
(Day 15)
"Gabe's up on his feet," Cas comments from the doorway.
Dean turns away from the papers on the desk to look at his mate, "I know. He visited me earlier today."
"Did he have anything to say?" Cas asks as he goes over to their bed to lie down on it.
"He asked about what he missed," Dean says casually, and he begins to put things back into the desk drawers with more force than necessary, "I informed him of what's going on."
Cas is silent for a few moments, "He's not taking it well, is he?"
Dean laughs bitterly for a moment, "Yeah, if you'd call 'well' shouting at me about letting your wolf win."
"He did that?" Cas is off of the bed in an instant.
Dean only sighs.
The alpha growls lowly, "I'll go have a talk with him-"
"No, it's fine."
"Dean-"
"I said it's fine, Cas," Dean stops his mate from leaving by grabbing onto his wrist.
Cas makes a face at Dean, "But he snapped on you for no reason, Dean. What's happening to me isn't your fault."
The hybrid lets go of Cas' wrist and goes back to cleaning off the desk, "I know that, you know that, he knows that. It doesn't matter. Gabe's upset, and he took it out on me."
"That's why I need to talk to him, Dean. He needs to apologize."
"He will," Dean closes the drawer with some sense of finality, "Just give him some time."
Cas sighs, "Dean, he really should be called out on what he did-"
"What, for telling me off for failing him? To tell him that his emotions are misplaced because the one person who could've kept this from happening failed you and everyone else?"
The alpha opens his mouth, and then shuts it for a second.
Dean scoffs, "You don't have to say anything… I already know the answers. I mean, he told me as much, too."
"He was out of line."
"Just- drop it, Cas," the hybrid sighs, "We're just going to have to deal with random outbursts from him."
Cas furrows his brow, "But it's not okay, Dean."
"Cut him some slack, Cas. After all," Dean walks past his mate to leave before he breaks their routine any further, "he is losing his brother, isn't he?"
Cas makes no move to stop him.
…
(Day 24)
Dean gets another vision in the early hours of the morning.
It's basically a repeat of what's happened before.
Still doesn't mean that it hurts any less.
…
(Day 26)
They're going through Dean's memories at GS when it happens.
Dean had been going through some test or something, and he had been screaming at the top of his lungs as Zachariah injected him countless times with various things.
Cas was gripping onto Dean tightly, begging for the hybrid to stop- that he couldn't take much more of seeing his mate in agony- when something happened.
Through the mental connection, Dean slipped into Cas' memories instead of his own.
It was some dark night, and someone was talking to someone else by a campfire. Going by the octaves of the voices, Dean was guessing that it was a woman and a man camping out together. Above, the moon hung bright and heavy.
Dean realized that he was watching something through foliage when his perspective leapt forward with a roar. It must have been Cas in wolf form, because the man scrambles around for a gun as Cas began to circle around the woman in particular.
She stares at Cas in horror, with her eyes wide and her heart- oh god. Dean can hear its sweet pulse as if he were there himself, and he can feel the hunger that Cas felt bubble up angrily in his belly.
Cas' prowling, however, gave the man enough time to grab a frying pan that had been sitting on the campfire, and he picks it up to smack it across Cas' muzzle and back. Dean can feel the stinging hot white agony across his face and neck as Cas whimpers in pain. With a roar, he runs off back into the forest.
However, he stops on the edge of the clearing, and he notices that the hot pan had seared through a string on his neck. The woman, who seems to be unaware of Cas' lingering presence, picks up what seems to be a gold ring on a burnt string.
She looks up in shock, and her eyes search the forest as she whispers, "Castiel."
Dean yanks himself out of the memory so abruptly that his head spins and he falls off of their bed. Cas stares at Dean with something akin to shame in his eyes.
"W-Was that Amelia?" Dean asks quietly.
Going by Cas' silence, Dean has his answer.
Dean is about to say something, but Cas shifts into his wolf and leaves. At first, Dean's confused as to why the alpha is so embarrassed or what he's so guilted about.
That is, until Dean realizes that the hunger he had felt in his stomach was for something red and thick- was for a neck to be underneath his teeth, the pulse sluggish underneath the skin as he ripped it apart.
Dean goes into the bathroom and vomits, and he washes his mouth out until he can't taste his fear anymore.
Cas doesn't come back for two days, and when he does, Dean calls him an ass and cries, telling him that he hates him for being so selfish. That doesn't stop him from desperately kissing him until his lips hurt, though.
…
(Day 29)
Like most things, Cas and Dean don't discuss what the memory meant, even though they should've. They decide that it's much easier to brush it underneath the rug to be with every other thing that they're avoiding right now.
Like they say, ignorance is indeed bliss.
…
(Day 32)
Gabe forgives Dean.
He explains that his hormones are out of whack because of the baby, and that he was unreasonably cruel to him. He tries to make it up to Dean by having them go out for a day on the town, and surprisingly, for a while, Dean does feel better- even if it's shopping for baby clothes with his, dare he say it, step-brother.
They're at some fancy restaurant for dinner when Gabe brings it up again, and he's genuine when he says that he shouldn't be mad at Dean for something that really isn't his fault. The hybrid tells the omega that it's okay and that it's a stressful situation for all of them.
Dean, however, doesn't tell Gabe that he still blames himself for failing every god forsaken person that he cares about.
…
(Day 37)
Dean turns to food for some comfort.
He doesn't change his eating habits much, but it's sort of like whenever you've had a bad day and you decide that you can treat yourself with a cupcake or something along those lines. Dean's rule is that if you survive one day, you get one dessert.
The last time he did this was when Adam died.
Sammy knows this, but doesn't comment on it as he passes his brother burying his woes within the golden perfection of an apple pie.
…
(Day 42)
Another one of Zachariah's henchmen comes.
He's dispatched by Cas with more haste and violence than the first, leaving Dean and Sammy to clean up the wooden floors and walls for a few hours.
Gabe sits on the couch and points out spots that the Winchesters miss.
He doesn't, however, point out that Cas still hasn't come back from the store when asked to fetch more bleach.
…
(Day 47)
Cas comes back to the pack house drunker than Dean could ever imagine him being.
When questioned, all the alpha had to say was, "I found a liquor store, and I drank it."
Sammy pulls Dean aside to tell him that Cas has become self-destructive, to which Dean can't help but cry over.
Sammy comforts him and tells him that it'll be alright, and Gabe swoops in to save the day by taking Dean out of the house again. He takes Dean to the mall and lets the hybrid get anything he wants- whether it be a Led Zeppelin shirt or a leather jacket that he likes. By the end of the trip, they have several bags from several different department stores.
When they come back to the pack house, however, Sammy and Cas are fighting, except it's in human form and off to the side. Dean literally opens the door to hear the muffled shouting of his brother saying things like, "hurting him" and "making things worse", only to catch Cas' furious, slurred retorts on the next breath. They go about it for a few good moments until Gabe decides that another shopping trip is needed, that is, until they hear Sammy scream.
"God, you're just so selfish! Can't you see that you're making him go through hell just because you can't deal with shit!?"
"I didn't mean to hurt Dean!"
There's a scoff, and it sounds like Cas is throwing things around, "Sure you didn't! Is that why you showed up drunk off of your ass without warning!? I mean, you were already gone for days, and you hadn't even said a god damn word to any of us! He's hurting, Cas, and he's not doing well! It's all because you can't seem to pull yourself together!"
Gabe is tugging at Dean's wrist, but the hybrid can't hear his pleas for them to go, and he doesn't move as he listens in almost against his will- like when you see a car wreck and you just can't look away from the disaster that's occurring right before your eyes.
"It's not like that!"
"Oh yeah, of course it isn't!" Sammy yells back, "It's not like you're pushing away the one person who doesn't want you to go, is it!?"
"Stop!"
Dean takes a step forward, but he stalls as he hears Sammy go on, "No, I won't! You need to have some sense knocked into you! Look, I get that it's shit to lose to your wolf, but god damn! Don't make it any harder on Dean than it has to be, you asshole!"
"Shut up!"
Sammy doesn't.
"God, you're probably thinking that this is justified, aren't you!? You think that it's completely and utterly okay to do that shit to my brother when he's dealing with this too! God, you're a poor excuse for an alpha and a mate, Castiel!"
Gabe is still as a stone as they both hear Cas cry out bitterly at the top of his lungs, "I don't want to leave him! I don't want my wolf to take away everything and everyone that I fucking love just because it feels like it! You think that it's fun!? You think that I want to be hurting Dean like this!? Here's a newsflash, Sam, I'm losing more and more of myself every day, and I don't want Dean to notice or to be reminded that sometime soon, all there's going to be is a wolf! I don't want to snap on him or worse because I finally lose control, either! So, cut me some god damn slack when you know just as well as I do that I'm a lit fuse, and sometime soon, I'm just going to burn out!"
Dean breathes in and out in a way that seems almost foreign to him. He doesn't know how it's possible, for a normal bodily function to feel so strange, considering how empty he seems to be on the inside, despite the oxygen he's clearly taking in.
Strange…
"Dean, come on," Gabe whispers as the voices turn into growls, "You don't need to be around this…"
"Neither do you," Dean murmurs distantly, as if he's mentally ten seconds behind everything and he's in shock, "The baby…"
Gabe grimaces and pulls Dean out of the house before they can hear the argument between their brothers and mates worsen.
…
(Day 48)
Gabe had gotten Dean a hotel room for the night, and he explained that he was going to run a few errands before he would come back. He gave Dean free reign of what seemed to be an expensive suite.
Normally, Dean would raid the mini fridge for a beer or something else, but recently, alcohol has lost all its appeal for the hybrid. So he watches TV instead, and he clicks through infomercials and random shows until he randomly finds something he likes. He switches between two channels whenever one is on commercial break.
One has some show about high school students and werewolves while the other is just a Spanish soap opera that Dean doesn't understand, but enjoys for the fact that this Spanish lady breaks down in a matter of moments. Oh yeah, and the acting is shit, too, despite there being a language barrier. The other program is sort of interesting, but Dean has to stop watching it because the alpha werewolf and the lanky human boy remind him too much of Cas and himself for it to be comfortable.
Thirty minutes into the fifth episode of the Spanish lady going insane to the point where she attempts a real life "rock paper scissors" murder, Dean orders room service. He browses over the menu and randomly selects whatever sounds good. By the end, he's ordered a lot, and he knows that, but Gabe is coming back sometime and he's pregnant, so yeah- there's three people here.
Either way, Gabe finds Dean with his face buried in a tiny tin of holy lasagna, and he quirks a brow at the hybrid when he looks up with pasta and sauce covering his mouth like a two-year-old. Gabe, thankfully, doesn't poke fun at him. In fact, he sets some bags down and joins Dean on the bed.
"Is that banana pudding?"
Dean stops mid chew and swallows, "Uh, yeah?"
"You gonna eat it?"
He pauses, "Just save me a little, okay?"
They fall into a comfortable silence after that, and Gabe even gets in on the soap opera just like Dean does. He even makes smartass comments occasionally that make Dean chuckle around a forkful of whatever the hell looked or smelled good.
"You ordered a lot," Gabe says randomly once the marathon of the raging woman ends, and he looks over to Dean, "Why's that?"
"Was hungry," Dean murmurs, and he tosses another empty bin into the trash, "I thought that you'd be too, and you're pregnant, so…"
Gabe sits up and raises a quizzical brow at the other werewolf, "Dean, would you care to explain what's going on with you?"
"I'd rather not," Dean mumbles, and he gets into the bed beside Gabe to lie on his side.
The omega, thankfully, respects Dean's need for space, and he ends up lying down to where he's face to face across from Dean, "So, Marvel or DC?"
"I'm a fan of Batman, but I'd be an idiot to not say that Marvel comes out with more than DC does annually."
Gabe smirks, "I knew that there was a reason I liked you."
"I thought that it was my gorgeous personality and even prettier looks?"
"Nah, if I was in for that, I'd just be friends with a mirror."
Dean chuckles, "Wow, way to be a narcissist."
Gabe smiles cheekily, "Who can't love me?"
The conversation trails off a bit until the omega speaks up again.
"They worked it out, just so you know," he murmurs, and Dean doesn't have to get names to know who he's referring to exactly.
"That's good," Dean closes his eyes for a second, "There isn't any blood to clean up when we get back, is there?"
Gabe snorts, "No, not that I knew of… Cassie wants you to know that he's sorry, though."
"Why can't he tell me himself?"
"I know! I told him that I wasn't his owl, but he hasn't watched Harry Potter at all, so it was sadly lost on him," Gabe rubs at his face, but goes on, "Anyways, he did make a good argument that he didn't know if you'd let him talk to you. Even then, he was sure that you wouldn't listen."
Dean snorts, "I probably wouldn't have, to be honest."
The omega snuggles a little closer, "I wouldn't blame you if you did, Dean. Cassie was being an assie. A big assie."
That makes Dean laugh, even if it only last for a few seconds and is weak, "Yeah, I know…"
"Sammy wanted to kick his ass still, but I made sure that he wouldn't."
"By what, holding out on him?"
Gabe giggles, "I have your brother whipped, Dean. I don't need to threaten him with the promise of blue balls to get what I want."
"Lucky you."
Gabe rolls his eyes lightly, "Eh, it's not as magical as you think. Sure, it's fun at first, but then it kind of gets tiring. Besides, now that this little one is on its way, I've lost a lot of interest in pranks and stuff."
Dean's eyes widen in surprise, "Who are you and what have you done with the real Gabriel Novak?"
"Nothing, you idiot. It's still me," Gabe smacks Dean's arm softly, "Anyways, I guess it's because they kind of make you grow up, you know?"
"I wouldn't. I've never had a kid."
Gabe smiles, "It's pretty cool, oddly enough. You feel kind of- godlike. It's like, oh my god, I'm making a person right now."
Dean smiles weakly, "You kind of are, Gabe."
"Yeah, I know, but that's beside the point," the omega gets this twinkle in his eye then, "You want to know somethin', Dean?"
"What?"
Gabe smirks and takes Dean's hand and places it on what feels like the soft swell of his stomach, "I'm startin' to show."
Dean lets out a long exhale, and he knows that, going by the omega's giggle, his face must be comical, "Oh, wow…"
"Feels weird, don't it?"
"It's certainly not- normal?" Dean scowls as he feels something thump against his palm, "Oh my god, it just kicked!"
Gabe shrugs, "It's been doing that for a while now. I think it's because Sam-Sam is so damn tall, so my baby is probably huge and has no room in there anymore. It's okay little guy," Gabe pokes at the top of his belly, "you'll be free soon enough! If I had a choice, I'd already be holding you! But you're like a roast, kiddo, if I take you out too early- well, that's not good for any of us."
Despite the weird simile he'd just overheard, Dean's throat convulses painfully as he swallows, "It's- wow, Gabe, I had no idea."
"Yeah, shit's weird," Gabe snuggles and begins to purr, "Could you rub it though? It feels nice."
"O-Okay…"
Dean rubs Gabe's barely-there-bump until the omega is asleep, and even then, Dean's hand lingers on in amazement. His emotions, however, linger on in jealousy for the fact that his brother and mate can have everything that he and Cas can't.
And that hurts more than anything else.
(Day 49)
Dean and Gabe come back later in the day, and they come upon a sight for sore eyes. Specifically, Cas.
The alpha looks like complete shit, with pale skin and bloodshot eyes, making Dean just focus on the fact that most of his eye now looks red.
He meets Dean's gaze and matches it with a pathetic whimper as he slinks off of the couch and into Dean's personal space. Sammy watches from off to the side, and even a blind man can tell that there's disapproval and disappointment in his gaze. Dean tries not to think about how ashamed his brother is of his own mate while he opens his arms to let the broken man fall into them.
Cas grips onto Dean tightly, telling the hybrid that he was an idiot and that he didn't want to hurt him in such a way, and the whole time Dean just stares at the wall ahead of him while he tries to fight off tears.
Sammy and Gabe decide that the two need their space, and thank god that they have, because they slink away just as Cas begins to cry into Dean's stiffened shoulder.
"I wouldn't blame you if you hated me now," he mumbles between sobs, "I'm not a good mate, I'm not a good alpha. Your brother was right about all of it."
Dean lifts a hand and places it almost hesitantly on Cas' back, "I-It's okay…"
"No it's not," Cas raises his head, and Dean sees the trails of tears and the expression of heartbreak written all across the other's face, "I shouldn't have done any of that to you, but I did. You shouldn't have even come back to me."
"Who says that I have, exactly?"
The way that Cas' face falls makes Dean flinch as though he had punched the dude instead, "D-Dean…"
"Cas, I would be lying if I said that you and I are good right about now, because we're not," Dean takes a step back from the alpha, "We're falling apart, and I'm falling out of love with you."
Cas outstretches a hand desperately, and his breath smells of stale alcohol as he speaks, only making matters worse, "Whatever you want me to do, I'll do it. Please, Dean, don't leave me too. I don't- who knows what will happen this time around..."
It's unsaid, but Dean knows that Cas is referring to Amelia. It sours the mood a little more, but Dean sighs because he knows that Cas nearly lost himself to his wolf before this with her. It must be terrifying to know that you're on the precipice of another bad downfall.
"First thing that I want you to do is stop being whatever the hell this is," Dean hisses, and he doesn't know if he should be happy at how Cas hangs his head in shame at the fact Dean is calling him out on his bullshit, "Secondly, you're going to stop running off and going god knows where without saying anything. Last of all, I want you to tell me what's going on-" Dean's voice breaks then, and Cas looks up to see that Dean is in the same, tearful boat as him, "I don't want to have to find out through an argument that I overhear that things are getting worse. That's- that's so unfair, Cas…"
"I didn't want to worry you, Dean," Cas surges forward and hugs Dean again, "Just- there's so much going wrong, and I didn't want to add onto that."
Dean wipes at his eyes with a free hand, "Don't you understand, you ass? I'm going to worry because you're my mate. I'm going to worry because I still fucking love you."
Cas pulls back slightly at that, "Y-You do?"
"Yes, of course I fucking do," Dean grits out.
"But you said-"
"I was hating what you were becoming, Cas. That doesn't mean that I still don't love you, just that you were beginning to push me away with what you were doing."
The alpha blinks, "Oh."
"Yeah, oh."
Cas then kisses the side of Dean's face with a whine dying out in his throat, "I promise that I'll make it up to you, Dean."
"It's going to take more than just a box of chocolates and a card, you know that, right?"
Cas nods, "I'd be an idiot if I didn't."
Dean smiles softly and kisses Cas, "No, you're still an idiot. But you're mine."
"Yours," Cas whispers, and meets Dean's gaze, "Dean, do you love me?"
"Yes, Cas, I do."
A smile begins to grow on the alpha's features, "How much?"
"As much as I can."
"For how long?"
Dean comes closer and nuzzles his mate's neck, "For as long as I can, Cas."
It's another promise, but that's okay. It's all okay.
It isn't.
…
(Day 53)
Cas isn't lying whenever he says that he's going to at least try to make it up to Dean.
It starts off with little gifts left by the alpha that range from a bouquet of roses or, like Dean had mentioned, a box of chocolates. Dean tries not to act like it's making an impression, because first off, Cas needs to learn what he did just isn't so fixable- or at least, that it can't be corrected with a tiny teddy bear that's holding a heart or a tiny collection of caramel candies. Okay, so they are making things a little better, and the chocolate is definitely helping Dean with coping nowadays, but still.
It's not supposed to be that easy.
So Dean sometimes ignores Cas as he walks past him, or he pretends that he doesn't like whatever the alpha got him. Once, he had thrown the chocolates into the trash, but later, when Dean was sure that Cas had believed he had tossed them out, he ate them while watching that crazy Spanish lady again. He was nothing but pitiful.
He was even more so whenever his coping mechanisms caught up with him. It's not too noticeable, but Dean's gained a little tub since he's turned to sweet goodies to ease the ache that grows in him everyday. No one seems to have caught on that Dean's jeans are a little tighter in the front or that he prefers to leave some shirts of his in the closet. Well… no one can be a little bit of a lie.
Cas, of course, is the only person who catches on.
"You look uncomfortable," he says randomly one day as Dean just finished putting on his jeans, "Maybe I should stop with the chocolates as gifts."
"Ya think?" Dean grouches, and he throws off the denim in favor of sweat pants, "Just- leave me alone, will you?"
Cas pauses for a moment, "You don't look any different, just so you know. Well, your stomach is a little rounder, but overall you just look the same to me."
Dean snorts, "Good, I don't look like a fatass just yet. Let me check that off my list of worries."
"Dean," Cas walks forward, and he wraps his arms around his mate for the first time in days since Dean banned touching as a punishment, and it causes Dean to whimper pathetically as he leans into him, "Is there something you need to get off your chest?"
Dean pauses for a moment, "It's Gabe and Sammy."
The alpha pulls back a bit, and his features are drawn together in confusion, "Did they do something?"
"Yes? No?" Dean sighs, "It's not their fault, exactly, but… I'm jealous, okay?"
"Jealous of what?"
Dean closes his eyes, "They just- they get to have everything that we can't, Cas. They have happiness, they have a kid on the way, but the worst of all is that they have time."
Cas scowls, "Dean…"
"I can't help it, okay? I feel like we've been cheated, and here they are, celebrating like they just won the lottery or something better," the hybrid averts his gaze from his mate's, "Don't judge me…"
"I'm not," Cas kisses the top of Dean's head, "I'm just saying that the color green isn't good on you."
"My eyes are green though," Dean murmurs, "It matches."
Cas sighs, "You know what I mean, Dean."
Dean just exhales and leans onto Cas, and after a moment, he closes his eyes, "I wish that there was something that I could do…"
"I know," the alpha murmurs, and he brushes a hand through Dean's hair.
After a few moments, they get tired of standing, and Cas hooks his arm underneath Dean's leg to carry him over to the bed. He slips underneath the covers beside his mate, and they sit in comfortable silence as Cas continues petting Dean or kissing him lightly.
Dean lets Cas touch him until he falls asleep.
…
(Day 60)
Dean's punishments begin to lift up gingerly day by day, and Cas begins to fall back into his life almost like he had been before. It's a little different now, but like everything else, they decide not to talk about it.
However, they do decide that they've spent enough time pushing off their research, and they begin looking back into Dean's memories just like they had been before.
Cas is a little hesitant, but he promises Dean that he won't run off if something does happen. The hybrid is wary, but he goes on with it anyways. They need answers, after all, and they certainly aren't going to get any if Dean doesn't go on because of the beginning of some trust issues.
The memory starts off in the white room that Dean was trapped inside of.
The image is distorted almost, and it waivers and blurs between what seems to be slow blinks. Past-Dean must have sat up, which was a bad move, considering that both Dean and Cas gag from dizziness as the past-Dean stumbles off of the bed and into the middle of the room where he collapses.
There's a familiar laugh, and it makes the hairs on Dean's arms stand up while Cas growls lowly.
"We had to sedate you," Zachariah sing-songs in the vision as he smirks, and Dean can see him through that pane of glass, "I would apologize, but I found that I don't really care enough to do that."
Cas growls again, and it's like the Zachariah in the vision can hear him, because his smile grows, "You don't seem too happy about that, it seems."
Past-Dean begins to use his hands to pull himself forward, and the two can feel how Dean's muscles had ached with the exertion.
"Go on, pull yourself up, you pathetic mutt. You're going to need to be quite responsive for this next part, anyways," Zachariah hisses sinisterly, "Since you decided that it would be fun to attack one of my lovely employees for shits and giggles, I decided that a severe punishment was in order. So enjoy, Dean Winchester. This one is all for you."
Cas grips onto Dean's arm tightly, and he whispers, "We can stop, if you want to."
Dean shakes his head, "We have to see what's going on, Cas. I can-"
Dean's cut off as the door to the room slams open, and two men in protective gear rush at him in the memory. They spray something in past-Dean's face, and it causes Cas to begin gagging as Dean tries not to vomit from his sudden, rough coughing.
"I formulated it a few days ago, just in case you did something like you did today," Zachariah says nonchalantly off to the side, "I think that I did a fairly good job."
Dean is confused as Cas begs him to stop the vision, but as the smell of smoke and ash reaches his nose, Dean understands why.
"Enjoy the trip down memory lane, Dean," the beta waves as Dean's vision cuts out into split-second images of a roaring fire and columns of smoke.
"Dean-"
Dean can hear the screams of both John and Mary as they struggle to break down the door to Dean's old bedroom. Smoke burns Dean's eyes as he wails for his parents to get him, and he clutches onto his little wolf plushie as the door breaks down and embers rush in alongside a thick cloud of smoke.
Mary and John's faces are panic stricken and covered in soot, and their features twist and contort as they cough. They make their way over to Dean, and John picks him up swiftly just as a beam snaps and crushes his bed.
"Daddy!" the toddler Dean cries, and Mary rushes to the other side of the room where Sammy screams in his crib.
"We have to get them out now!" John yells over the rumble of flames and crackling wood.
"Take them, John!" Mary hands Sammy over to John then, and there's a knowing look in her eyes, "I'm going to have to stall him."
Dean looks up to see his father's face fall, "Mary, baby, no-"
"I have to," she insists, and she kisses John's lips ever so lightly, "Take good care of our boys."
She runs off into the flames of what used to be their old kitchen, and Dean can hear John's screams as he begs for her to come back.
Instead, he hears a howl and the snapping of wood and the breaking of dishes. Meanwhile, both of the younger Winchester brothers wail and scream as John stares at the vacant spot that his wife once occupied.
"Daddy!" Dean takes his hand and hits his father's shoulder, "Need to go!"
This seems to snap John out of his trance, because he runs out of the door and sets Dean onto the ground first, "Take your brother and run, Dean. Find help. Scream at the top of your lungs, okay?"
"Daddy!" Dean's higher voice shrills as more tears form, "Don't leave us!"
"I have to," John chokes out, and he cups the side of Dean's face as he cries with a smile, "Daddy's got to go save Mommy."
Dean shakes his head, "Daddy-"
"Dean, please," John closes his eyes as more tears fall, and a sob wretches its way out of him, "Just do this for me, please."
Dean nods, "Okay…"
John kisses Dean and Sammy on the tops of their dirtied heads, "We both love you so much, don't you ever forget that."
Then, Dean watches as John runs off into their burning home, screaming his wife's name over and over again. Dean doesn't wait, though, because he's going to go and run just like his father told him.
Cas' grip on Dean's wrist tightens as they both watched a toddler Dean scream for help as Sammy wailed. They hear his tiny feet thunder against the pavement as he yelled for anyone, and as he freaked out in horror as Sammy suddenly shifted into something else in his arms.
The memory only ends as a shadowy figure appears before Dean with a smile and an outstretched hand, the words, "Hello there little one. You seem to be having some trouble. I can help," rings throughout their ears.
When the light returns to normal, and the only thing that Dean can hear is his and Cas' racing heartbeats, he slumps against his mate as he begins to cry.
"It's okay, Dean," the alpha murmurs as he shakes with his own shock, "It's okay."
It still isn't.
…
(Day 68)
Cas ends up snapping on Sammy.
The two alphas had been arguing over what color to paint the nursery when things just blew up without warning. Cas went after Sammy like never before, with his teeth snapping together and a roar vibrating through his throat.
Thankfully, Dean was able to get Cas away from Sammy before any real damage was done- well, other than emotional tolls, of course.
Cas stayed in wolf form for some time, and Dean began to fear the worst, that was, until Cas would follow him around like a lost puppy. The hybrid would go to one room, and the large, black mass of the alpha would come lumbering after him. If Dean was lying in bed, Cas joined up by curling up next to his head on the pillows. If Dean went to the bathroom, Cas would sit outside the door and wait until Dean was done. If Dean ate, Cas sat at his feet and guarded him- and by that, Dean means that he would growl a warning to any beta that passed Dean or even looked at him.
Gabe visited later in the day when the sun was beginning to go down to ask Dean how Cas was. Before he could finish the question, though, the alpha had swamped his brother with licks of affection before yipping and running over to Dean's side.
"He's stuck in a pup-like state, isn't he?" the omega asks as he sees his brother lean down on his front paws to playfully wiggle a request to play.
"Sort of," Dean murmurs as he tosses a balled up piece of paper for Cas to fetch, "He's got a protective side that's pretty mean."
Gabe snorts, "I'm guessin' that he nibbled some asses today?"
"'Bit' is a more appropriate word," Dean laughs softly as Cas trots back, holding the paper ball as though it were a prized catch to present his mate with, "But it's cute, mostly."
"When do you think he'll snap out of it?"
Dean shrugs as he pets Cas behind the ears, causing the wolf to set its head down on Dean's thigh to close its eyes and rumble happily, "I have no clue, honestly. Maybe later tonight. Maybe tomorrow. We're just going to have to wait it out and see. For now though, I guess that I'm stuck playing fetch and scratch."
Gabe pats Dean on the shoulder, "He loves you a lot, you know. There's a reason why his wolf is so protective over you."
"I only think that it's this timid because Cas is still in there. When the day comes- …" Dean trails off for a few seconds, and his distress causes Cas to lift his head and perk his ears, "Just don't be surprised if you find out that you're wrong."
Gabe seems to be caught off guard by that, and he quickly excuses himself and leaves.
Dean cups Cas' muzzle in his hands and stares at the red eyes that are now encased in fur, "What am I going to do with you, Cas?"
The wolf answers with a light yip as he licks the tip of Dean's nose.
"Yes, Cas, I do."
The wolf barks and wags its tail.
"As much as I can."
With a head tilt, the wolf leans into Dean's hand as it rumbles.
"For as long as I can," Dean murmurs, and he wonders when the time will come that he can't scratch the wolf behind its ears.
…
(Day 69)
Cas is back to his usual self by morning, but that doesn't change the fact that his wolf has been gaining more and more ground than the two of them can make up for.
Cas tells Dean that maybe his original estimate is off, and that a few months has somehow dwindled down to only one.
Dean cries, and Cas can do nothing but hold onto him.
…
(Day 73)
To diffuse the tension that is quickly building up for all of them, they all decide to throw Gabe an early baby shower. Not only is it a way to let go of some of the stress that they've been harboring, it's also so Cas can actually celebrate the fact he has a niece or nephew on the way while he still can.
Gabe is showing more and more as the days press on, and for it, Dean's jealousy grows alongside the bump. It's gotten to the point where his relationships with Gabe and Sammy have grown… awkward, at best.
The shower, however, is also a chance for Dean to let go of that little green monster that has been clinging onto him since this whole thing had started. He tries not to show it as Gabe opens present after present, or when he picks up little onesies or toys that make him smile and coo towards his distended stomach. Cas stands next to Dean, and going to by the stiffness of the hand on Dean's shoulder, the hybrid is not the only one who is battling their own demons.
…
(Day 80)
Dean and Cas have the day all to themselves.
It's nice, in a way, to be able to hold Cas and lie together in the silence of the impending doom that they both know is almost here. Cas seems just as out of it as Dean is, because he just softly hums the tune of "You Are My Sunshine" on a loop as he slowly rubs a hand up and down Dean's back.
As the sun begins to set, though, they take comfort in the other's body. Their gasps are soft; their moans are quiet and breathless. The sheets tangle around their limbs as they slide against one another, and the headboard barely even moves as Cas softly rocks into Dean. It's slow, but it's how they want it. Soon enough, they tremble and twitch with every brush of flesh, with every touch, and they kiss gingerly as it comes to a close.
Still, after everything, they lie together holding hands loosely as sweat cools on their skin.
Not a single word was spoken by either of them.
…
(Day 84)
Cas begins to distance himself, but for good reason.
He's become more snappish as of late, and he's getting angry for no reason. He knows this, and so does Dean, but that doesn't mean it hurts any less when Cas packs a bag and tells Dean that he's going to be staying in a different room in the pack house. Oh, and by "different room" he meant some shack that's off on the edge of the territory.
Meg helps Dean keep tabs on the alpha, and Dean ends up staying over in her den more and more than his own room. She doesn't complain or tell Dean to leave. In fact, she gives Dean something to do by letting him babysit Ruby or by letting him hunt for the both of them. He enjoys it, despite everything else, but the biggest surprise was something he wasn't expecting whatsoever.
Gabe joins them.
Literally.
The omega comes over to the den in wolf form one day to visit and just ends up staying.
His form is a little rounder than Dean remembers, and Ruby tells Gabe that he reminds her of her first memories of Meg, and that's when Dean realizes Gabe's scent has sweetened with the undertones of milk and pup. For once, though, he doesn't feel quite bitter, because he swears that the scent is more of a reminder than a trigger. By this, it means that instead of fires and smoke, it's chocolate and apple pies that pop into Dean's mind.
Dean finds himself oddly calm with the scent, and he, along with the other three wolves, hunker down and spend their time in the den discussing whatever comes to mind. Sammy occasionally pops by to check on his mate and his brother, and while it's nice, it's missing something.
It's missing Cas.
…
(Day 87)
Gabe is talking to Dean when it happens for the first time.
Dean suddenly feels completely nauseous and excuses himself, and he barely makes it outside before he hacks up the rabbit that he had eaten a few hours before. At first, they think that maybe it was just a bad piece of game, but as Dean keeps getting sick, they think that maybe Dean came down with food poisoning or a virus as he whimpers and buries his muzzle into his side pitifully.
Sammy comes and gets him out of the den before he could have a chance to get the others sick, causing Dean to find himself on the ground as a black wolf rushes over.
"Cas?"
The alpha begins to whine and lick Dean all over.
"Cas, answer me…"
Sammy pads up beside Dean, and his snout faces the ground, "I'm afraid that he's lost the ability to talk mostly."
"Sick," Cas' voice sounds different as he licks behind Dean's ears, "Mate sick."
"You all promised me that you'd tell me if things got worse," Dean growls weakly at his brother, causing Cas to back up as though he were scorned, "It's not you, Cas… You're okay."
If only.
The wolf rumbles quietly and lays down at Dean's back, and he looks up at Sammy with a growl.
"We'll talk about this later," Dean says bitterly, and he watches as his baby brother leaves with his tail between his legs.
Cas goes back to licking Dean's fur as the hybrid miserably places his muzzle over his paws. For a few hours, they just lay there while Cas tends to Dean, and he purrs softly in his chest as Dean whimpers weakly.
"Sorry," Cas barely manages to murmur, and he whines as Dean shivers.
Dean closes his eyes, "It's okay, Cas. S'not your fault."
The alpha still makes a noise of worry, "Love?"
"Yes, Cas, I do."
"Much?"
Dean's throat tightens, "As much as I can."
The alpha lays his head down next to Dean's, "Long?"
"For as long as I can."
And going by the rate of deterioration in his mate, he doesn't have that much time left.
…
(Day 91)
Dean's still sick, and he hates it.
Sammy's been looking into it, and it turns out that Dean's going through the process of mate separation. He has all the symptoms- from slight weight gain, the depression, and even to the sickness- and is essentially the textbook case for it. He's also the textbook case for something else, but Sammy tells him that in confidence, but Dean denies the possibility.
He couldn't be that fortunate.
Still, it doesn't change the fact that Dean is miserable, and also for the fact that Cas has now lost the ability to speak entirely.
Dean, despite the setback, still whispers things to Cas as they lie against one another in the dens that Cas had presented Dean with all that time ago.
"I'll stay with you, Cas," the hybrid murmurs as the alpha licks into his ear soothingly, "I won't leave until I have to."
That may be soon enough.
…
(Day 93)
Everything goes to shit.
Literally.
All Dean can remember is that he woke up to howling and fighting, and that Cas was already on alert above him, looking out for threats as Dean struggled to stand. The alpha prowled at the entrance of their cave as shouts came from the pack house, and he had looked over his shoulder to give Dean one last glance before he bolted off.
Even though he still felt weak, Dean shifted into his human form and grabbed some clothes left by Sammy as he raced to go see what was going on.
However, he didn't anticipate to see people fighting wolves all throughout the area. Pained screams and whines filled the air, alongside battle cries and angered roars. It was truly the stuff of nightmares.
Dean wobbled forward to pass most of the fighting going on as he searched for Cas. Occasionally, he was bumped into or hit since he was in the crossfire, but determination carried him forwards despite the pain he felt as he tried to find his mate.
"Cas!" Dean called out over the sound of bloodshed, and his bare feet get caught up on fallen werewolves or humans, causing him to trip.
Thankfully, Dean lands on his side, which helps considering that vomit is well on its way to becoming a reality rather than a possibility.
"Trying to find your mate, are you?"
Dean looks up in horror to find Zachariah standing above him. His suit is spotless, which must be a work of black magic, considering what's going on around them, and his arms are held behind his back in a mannered fashion.
"I'm afraid that your dear old Castiel has taken a bit of a detour, considering," the beta smiles as Dean looks over to see Meg getting dragged out of the trees, and his heart stammers when he notices that Ruby is in a cage howling for freedom.
The scariest part is that he doesn't see Gabe or Sammy.
"You sick bastard, let them go," Dean grits out, and his hand curls into a fist on the ground, "They aren't part of this!"
"Doesn't matter, really," Zachariah waves a dismissive hand only to begin to pick underneath its nails with the other, "GS needed some new recruits anyways."
Dean growls, "One's just a pup, you sick fuck!"
Zachariah laughs, "You think I care? All we have to do is wait a few years, and then boom, she'll be ready for whatever life throws at her."
Meg roars from across the field, and she fights against the muzzle they've put on her.
"She's a feisty omega, isn't she? I know a few alphas who'd pay a pretty little penny for her."
Dean lifts himself onto his shaky feet, and he tries not to grimace at the fact his palms are scraped up and raw, "Don't you dare take them."
"Or you'll do what? Throw up on me?" Zachariah laughs again, "In case you haven't noticed, mutt, you're a little worse for wear."
The hybrid glares at the beta before him, "Don't test me."
"Oh, I'm so afraid!" Zachariah screams faintly in a mocking manner, with his hands outstretched in a fake plea to stop, "I'm fearing for my life!"
"You should be," Dean smiles darkly, and shifts in seconds.
Despite his initial weakness from being sick, Dean's glad for the fact that he can leap forward at Zachariah without ending up on his ass. The beta actually does look frightened for a moment, that is, until he feels something pierce his neck and throw him to the ground.
For a moment, Dean is completely shocked until the adrenaline and panic sets in. He struggles for a moment in the grip of the wolf that has him pinned down, and he whines as teeth threaten to piece more precious things than just flesh.
Zachariah comes forward, clapping his hands as though this were some show for him and he just couldn't get enough.
"God, I love technology. Don't you?" Zachariah snaps his fingers, and instantly, the pressure against Dean's neck lets up and disappears completely, leaving him sputtering, "The miracles that it allows you to perform. In some sense, it makes you godlike."
Dean whimpers in pain as Zachariah leans down to put some needle in his neck.
"Oh, don't squirm, Dean. This is just a lil' device the guys and I back at GS made for these kind of things," Zachariah hums until something beeps, and he looks down at the gray device only to scowl, "No, that can't be right."
Dean has to endure another test, and then another, but by the time that the fourth test comes up with the same results as its precedents, Zachariah is already glaring at Dean venomously.
"What did you do?"
Dean whines in pain as Zachariah grabs Dean's bloodied and wounded neck as though he were a pup getting a scolding.
"Tell me, why are the results coming back telling me that you're pregnant?"
Dean freezes in Zachariah's hand, and his eyes widen as all of the puzzle pieces fall into place.
The eating habits, the slight weight gain, the familiarity of Gabe's new scent, the sickness… It all makes sense now. It's not mate separation that Dean was going through- it was the first few months of pregnancy.
"Oh god, don't tell me that you didn't know by now!" Zachariah hisses.
Dean yips harshly as the beta throws him back down onto the ground.
"Well, Dean," he smiles darkly, "that just won't do."
Zachariah snaps his fingers again, and a black mass comes up to his side. For a few moments, Dean is frozen, because that just can't be-
Zachariah smirks knowingly, and he pats the huge wolf on top of its head, "You like my new lap dog, Dean? I just got him today."
Dean stares head on to see Cas staring back at him blankly.
Even with his reddened irises, they hold no emotion as Dean whines at his mate to come to him. In fact, the wolf's lips raise as a warning growl spills out past them. Dean's confused until he sees the collar that's been strapped to Cas' neck.
"I might've sped things up a bit, but his wolf doesn't need too much convincing. This little collar right here gives me all of the power I need to take control of a rogue. Ironic, isn't it?"
Zachariah lifts his hand and snaps twice in quick succession, making Cas' growl grow as he eyes Dean like a target.
Dean, out of desperation and instinct, folds his ears back to his head and bares his throat. This seems to mollify the wolf enough, and it begins to walk forward as it stares at Dean. The hybrid whimpers as the wolf nips at his already damaged neck, and despite the ginger touch, Dean knows that it's an order to roll over.
Dean knows that he's at a crossroads here. If exposes his belly, then Cas' wolf might take that as an invitation to attack. If Dean refuses to roll over, then Cas' wolf will take that as a sign of defiance, and he'll enforce his status on Dean.
So, either way, Dean's pretty much screwed.
However, he decides that the the better road is chancing it, so he turns until he's lying on his back.
Thankfully, it seems to have been the right move to take, because the alpha above Dean rumbles happily as he begins to sniff around Dean's abdomen. It must sense that there's something growing in there and that it's his, because he rumbles again and rubs his snout along the flesh, tracing the tight swell that Dean just noticed was there.
"How cute! The alpha gets united with his spawn! It's so precious!" Zachariah cups his hands together and brings them to the side of his face, only to let them fall to his sides abruptly, "Sorry to intrude, but this has gone on long enough."
Zachariah whistles harshly, and Cas' wolf yips in pain as he jumps backwards from Dean. The hybrid whines, causing the alpha to look at him with pure concern. Despite that, he makes no move towards Dean. Either way, it doesn't matter, because Zachariah begins monologuing again.
"I've got clients waiting for you, Dean, and they will not wait any longer than they already have," the beta grits out, and he grabs Dean's hind legs to drag him away.
The alpha begins to trot after them, but another whistle from Zachariah stops him in his tracks.
"No, dog. Sit."
Cas' wolf does as he's told, but with a whine, and he watches as Dean gets dragged off into the pack house. The hybrid struggles and howls for Cas to help him, and he can see by the twitching in the alpha's muscles as he shifts from where he's sitting assures Dean that his pleading does have some effect.
"Oh, shut up, mutt!" Zachariah kicks Dean in his side for good measure, causing Dean to yelp loudly, and it also makes Cas jump up to his paws in seconds with a snarl, "Sit back down! This is not your place!"
With a growl, the alpha settles himself down back onto the ground, but his eyes burn with an anger that Dean has never seen before, that is, until they fall on him. They shift into something else- something more of worry. Dean's scent of pregnancy must be having an effect on Cas' wolf, especially so if it's one that tells it that he's the father of the unborn kid.
Dean makes sure to keep those blood red eyes on him as he's dragged away.
However, doors shut and cut Dean off from the alpha, and he finds Zachariah cursing as he stumbles over random items flung about the hallways.
"Animals," he mutters under his breath.
Dean tries to sit up to bite Zachariah's hands, but with every way that he twists and turns, it puts a sharp pressure on his stomach. Normally, he wouldn't care, but… things have changed recently. With a pathetic huff of breath, Dean lets his head thunk back onto the ground as the beta tugs him along.
They come upon a familiar room, and it isn't until Dean smells the antiseptics and more that he's in the medical part of the pack house. Zachariah must've known about its location, since he dragged Dean there directly, and if that's not creepy…
With a grunt, Zachariah picks Dean up suddenly and places him on an examination table, which, now that Dean thinks about it, might have been the one Cas set him on when he was bitten. Ugh, reminders…
Zachariah holds Dean down by his injured neck, making the hybrid whine as the man rummages through the drawers below.
"I may not be a trained medical professional, but I do know that you wolves heal fast," Zachariah's hand comes up with a scalpel in his grip, "So, hopefully, this won't be too traumatic for you."
Dean fights against Zachariah's hold even more now, especially since the blade begins nearing his stomach, and he barks at Zachariah in anger and fear. The beta pays him no mind, and he tries to get the angle right as Dean struggles below.
"Stop squirming!" he orders, "While I don't care about that leech growing inside of you, I can't have you die on me!"
Then, as if graced by a miracle, a light bulb goes off in Dean's head.
Without really thinking it out, Dean pretends to have a heart attack or seizure right there in front of Zachariah. His limbs flail as he pretends to gasp for air. He gives it his all. Dean must be doing a good job, because it freaks the man out, and the scalpel falls to the tile below with a clatter as he backs away in shock.
"Dammit!" Zachariah curses, and he pulls out his phone from his pocket, "Samandriel, I need you to come to the pack house now!"
Another voice comes into the air as Dean lets his head loll to the side, "Sir? Is everything okay?"
"No, it isn't. It seems like our prize has some health issues," Zachariah sighs, "Just get your ass over here and help me get this back under control."
Zachariah ends the call with a huff and looks at Dean's limp form.
"I'm not letting you die just yet."
Dean would roll his eyes if it wouldn't break his facade.
Zachariah pulls up a chair and sits down in it, and he stares at Dean's body with distaste, "You don't know how much trouble you've caused me- how much disappointment you brought whenever you didn't give my brother what he needed. For that, I should just let you die right here on this table. But- …" for a moment, he trails off, "I found that you're far too valuable as an asset to my company to just let you to go to waste in such a way, even if you deserve it."
He stands up and goes over to the door as a smaller, lankier boy runs in. He reminds Dean of that kid off of that teen TV show, but as a shorter, more awkward version that looks no older than nineteen.
"Sir? What's wrong?"
"Fix him, boy."
The poor kid comes over and sets a bag down next to Dean's head, "Do you know what happened?"
Zachariah snorts, and his words are sneered out, "How should I know? I'm not a doctor. Besides, this is what you're paid to do, isn't it? You can figure it out on your own."
"But sir, for time's sake-"
"Just shut your trap and fix him already!" the beta snaps, "If I knew that you were going to be so talkative, I would've cut your tongue out by now. I hired you to be an on-field medic, not a spokesperson."
The boy hangs his head as Zachariah stomps his way out of the room, "Sorry, sir."
Samandriel, as Dean remembers, smiles faintly.
"You're a pretty wolf," he takes a hand and lets it hover over his neck, "It's such a shame that he's willing to tarnish that beauty for a few Benjamins…"
Dean can feel the boy work some cream into the wounds on his neck, and he fights so hard against himself not to whine at the sting.
"I know that you're only faking it, but I won't tell him that," Samandriel scratches Dean behind the ear, "I don't blame you for trying to feign death just to escape what he has planned for you. Speaking of which... What was he trying to do, exactly?"
For some reason, Dean finds that he can trust this boy, and slowly, ever so slowly, he lifts his head to whine weakly at his stomach.
Samandriel's face contorts into a scowl, and he rubs a soothing hand over Dean's plumper abdomen, "Sometimes, I wonder if he's aware of his own stupidity. Doesn't he know that performing such a thing on you would surely end it for you and your pup? I swear, if this man took the time to read something other than his bank account statistics, he'd actually know something that's worth a damn."
Dean sighs and relaxes into the touch as the young boy pets him.
"I like you," Samandriel whispers, "Your fur's very soft."
The hybrid purrs, and he begs for a hand to scratch him on the head again.
Samandriel chuckles, "I won't let him hurt you or your kid, okay? He's done enough damage to your life. There's no reason that he should be able to take it, too."
The boy stands, and he smiles sadly as Dean whines at him to stay.
"I'll be fine, I promise. Just make sure that you're not in the building, okay?"
Dean stands up, and his knees shake as he jumps down and looks up at the human. He head butts his hand.
Samandriel runs his hand over Dean's muzzle softly, "This has been coming for sometime now. There's no need to tell me to stop because you'll blame yourself or something else. I'm doing this because I want to be free. Whatever comes of this, I want you to know that I'll be at peace with it. As for you, I want you to run as fast as you can, and I need you to be far away from here, or else you'll get hurt. Do you understand?"
Dean nods, and he licks the palm of Samandriel's hand in a silent thank you.
"Good, now," the boy gets down on his knees and gives Dean a small smile, "I want you to go find your mate, buddy. I'm sure that he's worried about you."
Dean whines and licks at Samandriel's face before he starts to leave.
He doesn't want to leave the boy that has shown him so much kindness in only a matter of minutes, but he knows that right now, he's gotta save Cas. Or, at least, save his wolf.
Dean's heart races just like his feet do, and he runs just as Samandriel told him. He gets out of the house easily enough, only to freeze when he sees the sight before him.
Cas circles around Sammy, and the two alphas growl and snarl at each other as they dance around in a circle. Sammy's movements seem on the offense instead of the defense, and it's when he turns to continue his prowling, Dean sees that Cas isn't the only one adorned with a collar.
Dean's worst fears are coming true.
Oh god.
This can't be happening-
The wolves leap at each other just as Dean begins to run forward. It's also, however, just when something blows up behind him.
Call it trite and cliche, if you will, but it doesn't change the fact that a huge boom rocks the ground and a plume of smoke and fire. Dean finds himself on the ground, whining at the stark pain that erupts from his shoulder.
With a whine, Dean leans up to see that a jagged piece of wood is sticking out of his shoulder. He lets his head fall back to the ground for a moment, and he cries out in agony as he tries to move enough to grab it out.
A snout is instantly investigating his shoulder, and it's then that Dean realizes that Cas must have heard him cry out or something. The alpha sniffs around the wound and whimpers, meaning that he must smell the blood that's seeping out from the wound.
Despite the fact that he's in excruciating pain, the hybrid shifts in his human form, and he gasps as the mangled flesh shifts around the chunk of wood.
"Ah, shit," Dean hisses, and the wolf above him licks at the new blood that gushes outwards from the change.
Dean leans up, and he tugs at the wood with a groan. He manages to pull it out completely, but he cries out in pain as it leaves his shoulder. Cas' wolf freaks out, and he paws at the ground beside Dean as the hybrid lets his head fall back onto the dirt with a thump.
Another whine joins Cas', and Dean finds that Sammy is rushing forwards to his other side.
"Hey there, Sammy," Dean coughs, bringing up a hand to the side of his brother's face.
The two alpha prod at Dean with their noses.
"Let up, will you? It's healing already…" Dean begins to get up, but that's when he notices that there's another pain in his side, "Oh no- oh god, no-"
Dean places a hand on his side to feel the skin weave itself together. The relief is so strong that Dean literally tears up for a moment.
"Thank god for small miracles," Dean exhales roughly, and he sets a hand on his stomach, "You're okay, little guy. Holy fuck you're okay."
Dean chances sitting up, and fuck yeah, he's going to be sore for a bit. He breathes for a couple of moments, and he leans against Cas until his breath returns to normal. Sammy's lip twitches a bit at their closeness, and Dean is guessing that there's still a bit of his brother left in there.
"Okay, I need you guys to let me take those collars off," Dean instructs, but when he tries to get Cas' unlatched, the alpha actually snaps at him and backs off, "Whoa, Cas. Chill out."
Sammy steps in front of Cas and bares his teeth.
"Look, there's no need for any of this-"
Cas' ears flatten to his head as his wolf roars, causing Sammy to mimic him. Dean's palms get sweaty as he sees a fight brewing back up between them.
"No!" Dean shouts, and he places himself in front of Sammy, "You're not going to kill each other!"
Sammy backs down, thankfully, but Cas doesn't. In fact, he looks even more angered by the fact that Dean must look like he's siding with the alpha that he's trying to attack.
"Cas, come on, man," Dean takes a few steps forward, and he swallows as Cas' wolf glares at him, "This isn't cool."
His lips pull up in a silent warning for Dean to heed, but the hybrid presses on.
"You don't need the collar, Cas. Zachariah, we don't have to worry about him anymore," Dean points to the smoldering remains of the pack house, "He's gone, Cas. You don't have to wear it now."
The wolf whines and takes a step back, as though Dean's words are hurting him.
Dean breathes nervously as he outstretches a hand, "It's okay, Cas. You can come back to me."
Dean takes slow steps forward, causing the alpha's fur to bristle and his haunches to raise. It doesn't stop Dean, even though it should, because he keeps inching over to his mate. Cas' wolf barks one last time before Dean finishes closing in the distance, and he cups the wolf's face with both of his hands.
"Cas, I know you're in there," Dean murmurs, "Or, at least, I'm hoping that some sliver is."
The wolf's paws push against Dean's bare legs, and the claws hurt Dean as they scrape the skin, but he doesn't let Cas go.
"You're gonna come back to me, you big brute, because I'm not the only person who needs you now," Dean, in desperation to crack the shell of the wolf that is fighting against him, grabs one of those paws scratching him up and places it on his stomach lightly, "There's a little guy or gal in here- who's gonna have ten fingers and ten toes, who's gonna crawl and then walk- who needs more than one of his or her's parents, Cas. They need you too."
The red in Cas' eyes lightens only a little, and hope begins to rise in Dean's chest.
"Now I know that you know that I can't make a kid on my own so I would have needed your help, and I'm definitely not going to raise it by myself, you ass, so you're gonna come back and you're going to love us just like you're supposed to," Dean sets his head against the muzzle of Cas' wolf, "If you don't remember, I promised you that I would love you for as long as I can, and I can tell you now that I'm certainly not done just yet."
The wolf whimpers as it licks Dean's cheek.
With a sigh, Dean leans into it, "Now come on, Cas. Tell your wolf that it can have you some other time, because I need you. Our baby needs you."
With a gasp, Dean can feel the hair on the wolf recede until barren skin is left, and familiar arms hug Dean's ribs so tightly that the hybrid finds that breathing is no longer an option.
"C-Cas?"
"Dean," the alpha cries out in relief, "Oh my god, Dean…"
Dean smiles sadly and hugs Cas back, "Hey there, alpha. How was the vacation?"
Cas shakes his head and sobs into Dean, and he rubs a hand over Dean's abdomen, "It turned into complete torture without the both of you in it."
"Such a sap," Dean murmurs, and he looks over to see Sammy throwing the collar off of himself with disgust, "Whoa, did you both just jailbreak yourselves?"
"It must've been something else," Sammy murmurs, "I was kind of stuck in a fog and then all of the sudden, it was just normal."
Dean furrows his brow until he hears a familiar voice speak up from beside them, "That'd be my doing. Oh, and sorry about the pack house. Zachariah did always say that he wanted to go out with a bang."
"Samandriel!" Dean chirps happily, "You're not dead!"
"Never was," the boy smiles, holding something in his hand that looks like a phone, "I was just smart. I did tell you that I planned this out for some time, didn't I? Anyways, this right here-" he lifts up the device, "it's basically an on and off switch for those stupid collars. The worst part? This thing runs on AAA batteries. Like, who even does that anymore?"
Dean smiles, and he turns to Cas, "Can we keep him?"
Cas still seems a little out of it, "Give me a minute."
"Ugh, fine," Dean snorts as he pets Cas' head and turns to Sammy, "Hey, go get Meg and Ruby after you find Gabe. I think that everyone kind of ran off after the pack house turned into a tiny mushroom cloud."
Sammy smiles, "Gabe's safe, actually."
"Really?"
"Yeah. One of the guys picked him up, and to get away, Gabe literally shit on him and ran."
"Biochemical warfare," Dean whispers, and he looks up at his brother, "Well that's good. Now, go fetch your mate and the others. We've got some shit to discuss."
Everyone except Dean groans.
Samandriel, however, is the first to break the ice, and he brushes away some dirt with his shoe as he speaks, "You seem to be taking this all very well."
Dean laughs, "You don't want to know how long we've been preparing for this to happen."
"How long was that?"
"Months," both Cas and Dean answer at once.
The human whistles, "Wow. You'd think Zachariah would've done something sooner."
The hybrid shrugs, "It doesn't matter now. The bastard is dead and his men are just-" Dean waves a hand around weirdly to represent their state of 'goneness', "We just need to talk about what we're going to do now that what's happened is over and done with."
"This all seems a little disappointing, though, doesn't it?" Samandriel murmurs, "I mean, it's kind of like waiting a while for the worst to happen, and then it's over in just a matter of moments."
"That's how it actually happens," Dean points out, "Football games are aired for an hour or more, but the actual games only last about twenty minutes or less. Most people expect a lot out of five minutes of action nowadays."
The human makes a face, "Wow, that's- well."
"That's life."
The three wait a moment, and Cas is still burying his face into Dean's shoulder.
"I nearly lost the both of you," he murmurs.
"I nearly lost you," Dean comments, "But nothing happened. We're lucky, Cas."
The alpha smiles, "Finally."
The hybrid snuggles closer to his mate, "I'm kind of happy for it to come into play now, if you think about it."
"Same."
Dean hums for a moment, "Hey, Cas?"
"Yes, Dean?"
Dean pulls back to where he can stare at Cas, and he finds that the alpha's eyes are blue, "How did you get control back so easily? Like, you were still wearing the collar and everything…"
"Zachariah inadvertently gave me control of my wolf."
Dean furrows his brow, "What do you mean?"
The alpha sighs, and he finally takes the collar off to show Dean something, "This right here injected me with that alpha irritant. It was there to give Zachariah control over my wolf by injecting me with it. It'd make me go nuts, and then, whenever he made a sound, it'd stop. Turns out that my wolf doesn't exactly enjoy it, and it kind of learned its place."
"Where's that?"
"Not as the top dog, apparently," Cas jokes, making Dean chuckle.
"Anyways, you're saying that Zachariah thought that he could turn you rogue or something, but instead accomplished the opposite?"
"Like I said," Samandriel snarks from off to the side, "If he actually read anything other than his bank statements, he'd know something."
Both the alpha and the hybrid laugh as the others come up to them. Ruby, thank god, is okay, because she runs headfirst into Dean and Cas' intertwined legs with a thump.
She barks happily and wags her tail, and she does this until Dean picks her up and sets her in between himself and his mate. She yips happily as she settles herself in their laps.
"Hey there, Ruby," Dean whispers, and he scratches her behind the ears.
Meg comes up and sits down beside Dean, and she sniffs the hybrid curiously until she barks. Everyone's surprised to find her on her feet with her tail wagging rapidly as Ruby looks at Dean in awe.
"Oh yeah," Dean laughs for a moment, "I found out today, but, I'm pregnant."
Off to the side, Sammy faints.
"First thing on our to do list," Dean sighs as Gabe pokes uselessly at Sammy's slack face with a paw, "someone needs to get my brother up."
They all laugh or bark, and for a second, Dean truly believes that they're going to be okay.
And for once… it really is okay.
