XI. Future Lovers

I'm gonna tell you about love
Let's forget your life
forget your problems
Administration, bills and loans
Come with me

In the evidence of it's brilliance

In the demonstration of this evidence
Some have called it religion
This is not a coincidence
Would you like to try

Connect to the sky
Future lovers ride
They're in mission style
Would you like to try

Let me be your guide
Cut inside your pride
Future lovers hide
Love inside their eyes

In the evidence of it's brilliance

Love controlled by time
Future lovers shine
For eternity
In a world that's free

Put away your past
Love will never last
If you're holding on
To a dream that's gone

I'm gonna tell you about love
Would you like to try

In the evidence of it's brilliance
There's no love like the future love

Come with me

In the evidence of it's brilliance

"Where you going, Cameron?"

The question stops Sean from zipping up his bomber jacket, newly purchased from a thrift store near the auto shop. Jimmy folds his Triple Five Soul hoodie, then grabs his wallet.

"Just places," replies Sean, pocketing his room key.

Jimmy eyes him sharply. "Oh."

"What?" prompts Sean.

"At first I didn't get you asking for Haze's room number," says Jimmy. "Must've had my head stuck in the clouds when I was sketching. But then I thought of her roommate, and now, not so surprised."

Sean remains quiet, goes to get the rest of his things. Jimmy wheels to Sean's side, halts his hand from picking up a pair of gloves.

"You know she's digging Craig, right?" says Jimmy.

"Craig?" says Sean, blankly. "You mean, Ellie likes…."

"Yep."

"But he's into Ashley. He's made that pretty clear."

Jimmy sighs. "Ellie's different, man. She's not the same girl you dated. She's more relaxed, happy."

Sean zips his jacket all the way up, remembering their first conversation in the hallway when he returned. She couldn't answer him when he asked if the feelings were the same, maybe because she has feelings for someone else. He didn't expect her to wait for him, but he wanted her to hold onto the feelings they shared.

"Gotta go," says Sean, sniffling. "See ya, man."

He leaves the room, goes downstairs, and enters the dining hall. He spies Spinner and Emma in one corner, huddled over some slips of paper, and Peter, Derek, and Danny in another corner, passing back and forth an issue of Source with Jay-Z on the cover. In the center sits Ashley, calmly reading a book.

"Courtney Love," says Sean, seeing the book jacket. "Interesting."

"Don't tell Craig," says Ashley. "He thinks she's evil."

"Speaking of Craig…um…," begins Sean, taking a seat.

Ashley puts down the book, gives him a curious glance. A waiter sets down two plates in front of them.

"I'm not staying," says Sean to the waiter.

"Don't let the pretty girl eat all alone," says the waiter, winking at him.

Sean shrugs. The waiter leaves, grinning widely.

"What's this about Craig?" asks Ashley.

"Does…does Ellie like him? Jimmy said she did," says Sean, looking over his shoulder.

Ashley sighs, brushes some hair out of her eye. Sean knows it's true by her reluctance to speak. What was the use of trying? Craig had never wronged Ellie, never left her.

"Ellie and I aren't speaking," whispers Ashley. "And Craig's not interested. We kissed last night."

"Whoa, really?" says Sean. "He and Manny?"

"Broken up," supplies Ashley.

"I should respect how she feels though, right?" says Sean, quietly. "I didn't last time."

Ashley shakes her head. "You should go for it."

"But…."

"Sean, I thought Craig hated me, but we managed to talk, and before I knew it, we were making out in the lobby. You need to know if there's something there, or you'll regret it. I've run so many times, tried to ignore how I felt, but once you face them, it's different. A great kind of different."

Jimmy's words echo in his brain, him saying Ellie was different. Maybe it's a great kind of different, he thinks. It made sense to stay in Wasaga, hush their inner demons, be away from things that reminded him of the shooting. Perhaps that's why he's stayed clear of Emma, who he was relieved to see doing alright. But it didn't make sense to stay away from Ellie; truthfully, it never made sense. After all, he was a great kind of different now, too.

"I've got twenty minutes," says Sean, smiling. "Hurry up and eat so I can meet El?"

"Awww," says Ashley, grinning. "Thattaboy."

II.

"There's so many," breathes Craig, letting his eyes wander.

"Well, we are in a hotel," says Marco, putting on his scarf.

Jimmy laughs, then sings. "Let's get it on…"

Craig reaches for a box of glow-in-the-dark condoms, then smiles.

"Gentleman, I think we have a winner," chuckles Craig.

"If Joey or Kate could only see you now," teases Jimmy, wheeling to the counter, alongside Craig and Marco.

"Please," says Craig. "Don't mention Kate's name. I'm shocked she didn't grill before Ash to see if I was coming on this trip. As for Joey, well, Marco and I know he likes to frequent this particular aisle."

"He's definitely no monk," agrees Marco. "And neither is his stepson."

"Hey, I tried to be!" defends Craig.

"That is, before the luscious Miss Santos came along, looking oh so fine in her wedding outfit, but not as hot as the drop-dead Ellie Nash. But of course, tops, and this is probably because I dated her, is the gorgeous creature known as Ashley Kerwin. Craig's got mojo, Del Rossi. Pure mojo," says Jimmy, knocking fists with Craig.

"Tonight's the night, guys," says Craig, handing the box to the clerk.

"Wait a minute," says Marco. "Don't you think this is moving too fast? You broke up with Manny last night. You guys haven't worked out all your issues."

"What issues?" demands Craig.

"Trust. I couldn't trust my heart with Dylan after he cheated. You're being pretty easy on Ash."

"No…no, I'm not!" exclaims Craig. "I mean, she apologized."

"Like you did, but it took months for you to reconnect with her. You had to earn her trust back again," reminds Marco.

"That is true," says Jimmy, softly.

Craig looks between them. "I can't believe I'm hearing this."

"You have the tendency to rush, buddy, and then it catches up to you," says Marco.

The sales clerk hands Craig the bag, but Craig slams the bag on the counter, startling everyone.

"Not so loud!" complains Darcy, putting a bottle of Advil on the counter.

"Hangover?" says Marco, winking at Jimmy.

"No!" cries Darcy. "Karaoke. Listening to Spin and Emma sing Love Shack twice in a row ruined my eardrums."

"Listening to Spinner say dude five million times would ruin anyone's hearing too," says Jimmy under his breath.

Craig ignores her. "I'm spending the whole day with Ash, and I guarantee it'll all go smoothly. There's no issues to work out. She's in her room right now so…."

"She's with Sean, in the dining hall," interrupts Darcy, then says to the clerk. "Can I get a Ring pop?"

"With Sean?" exclaims Craig. "What?"

Darcy pays for the Ring Pop, stuffs it in her mouth.

"They're eating breakfast together," informs Darcy, taking the sucker out of her mouth. "Guess I should get one for Spin too. He likes cherry."

Craig takes a deep breath, asks if he can follow Darcy to the dining hall while Marco gives him a knowing look. They arrive in about five minutes, and sure enough, Sean and Ashley are laughing over waffles. He walks briskly to them, stands in front of their table, face flustered.

"Hey, man," greets Sean.

"Get up!" exclaims Craig, angrily.

Sean rises, shakes his head, walks off. Ashley's mouth drops, and she tosses down her napkin.

"What's wrong with you?" she yells, causing everyone to stare.

"I can't….I can't trust you," replies Craig.

There's a rumble of voices, but Craig notices there aren't many people in the hall yet. Then again, why hide the truth? Marco hit the nail on the head. Ashley hadn't made it clear how she felt, and she very well could leave him again. After kissing for hours last night, they hadn't talked so much as exchange sweet looks with one another. Sweet looks were no long-standing promises, and he really did have to work to gain her trust back. Shouldn't she do the same, say "I love you" at the very least?

"With Sean?" says Ashley, softly. "There's nothing…"

"With anyone," interrupts Craig, frowning at her.

Ashley stands, and he can see tears welling up in her eyes. Instead of some biting remark, which he was expecting her to deliver, she nods.

"Okay," she says, then brushes past him.

III.

"The love shack is a little old place where we can get together," sing Emma and Spinner in perfect unison.

Manny almost walks right past their table, but shakes herself and sits down with them. On the table, there's no food, only pamphlets. On spirituality, mostly. Manny sighs loudly, not getting their attention.

"Ugh!" exclaims Manny, even more loudly.

"Do you mind?" snaps Emma.

Spinner's brow furrows.

"Do you mind being a best friend right now?" whispers Manny to Emma.

Emma raises her eyebrows. "Yeah, sure. Spin?"

"Darcy and I are skating anyway," says Spinner. "Bye."

Manny stares after him, then back at Emma. Emma pretends to read a pamphlet while Manny rolls her eyes.

"Finding religion, Em?" says Manny. "Going to join Friendship Club?"

"I didn't know you had a problem with religion, Manny," says Emma, eyes fixed on the pamphlet.

"You know what I have a problem with, and it's not religion," says Manny.

Emma groans. "Last year, I was pretty lost. Like life flashed in front of my eyes, pretty intense and everything. This year, I can be new, no mistakes, focus on a fresh start just like Spin. Why do you think I've steered clear of Sean? No, not turning religious, but I do want a clear mind. Hello, I like yoga, you know?"

Manny cradles her head in between her elbow and shoulder on the table. Emma strokes her head.

"What's up with you?" asks Emma.

"Any of those tell you how to rid your mind of feeling like no guy wants you? Especially if it's your boyfriend who dumps you the first night of vacation in the middle of one of your ex-favorite songs?" says Manny in one breath.

Well, it's easier to say it fast than draw it out on some tragic-feel-sorry for-me confession. She expects Emma to say "I told you so", lay into her for being so naïve.

"No," says Emma. "But I bet I could get a pamphlet on how to kick him between the legs so he'll never walk again."

Manny throws her a small smile, then lowers her head.

"That curly-haired troll!" barks Emma. "And here's betting that's why he was talking to Ashley second ago. I mean….oops."

Manny waves her hand. She suspected that Craig would make his move as soon as he left her on the deck. He'd been looking for Ashley or at Ashley ever since they came back.

"Forget it," says Manny.

"Well, it didn't look so good," says Emma. "Ashley left upset. And you know, I shouldn't badmouth Craig. Spinner said we should forgive, or else it'll weigh down our hearts."

"Um…yeah," says Manny.

"I think you should definitely move on, to someone that makes you feel good," advises Emma.

"Like you? There is no one," says Manny, confidently.

Emma isn't listening.

"Peter's out…you hate him. Chester…you ditched him for Spinner. But I can see why. Spinner's a really great guy," says Emma, her eyes lighting up.

"Okay, finish this list before I puke," encourages Manny.

"Oh…what about Nate?!" beams Emma. "Hot, blonde, drama geek. So your type."

"Like I said, no one," brushes off Manny.

"He's in the lodge all day with an injury," says Emma, elbowing Manny. "No one else around. Very cozy."

Manny sighs loudly, the loudest she can muster.

"No, I'm becoming a nun," says Manny.

Emma hugs her, moves her seat next to hers. "Take a pamphlet, then."

IV.

Ellie relaces her right boot, her fingers shaking. She can't fathom why she's more nervous today than yesterday when she accepted Sean's invite, or maybe she can. All her meetings with Sean before were casual, none lasting more than ten minutes. Additionally, Marco had been there to act as somewhat of a buffer for the initial nervousness that time in the auditorium. What would she say to him? It turns out he begins it all.

"Hey, Ellie," he says, warmly, sitting next to her on the couch in the lobby.

"Heylo…I mean, hello," replies Ellie, turning pink after combining "hey" and "hello."

"Um…you want to go skiing?" asks Sean.

Ellie looks down. She doesn't want to admit that she can't or that she's afraid to.

"But we can't talk if we ski," realizes Sean, which causes Ellie to relax a little.

"Kinda anti-skating," admits Sean. "Sorry."

"Me too," says Ellie. "Wanna walk?"

"Sounds good," says Sean, grinning.

The two exit Red Rose, snow whirling around their heads. Ellie shivers, even though her insides feel warmer than usual. Sean smiles weakly at her as they go down a tree-lined pathway. A couple birds chirp overhead.

"How's the article coming?" questions Sean.

"Good. Halfway through," says Ellie. "It's stressing me out. Liberty's barely in the office anymore…some personal delimma with her family, I think."

"Too bad," says Sean, genuinely.

"Yeah. Well, I knew when she became president, I'd have to help out more. How's the job going?"

"Real nice. I can buy stuff I need, sometimes stuff I want."

Ellie grins, gives Sean a small pat on the back.

"Proud of you, Sean," he says. "I'm proud of so many people lately, it seems. Marco got early admission into two schools, Mom's been sober since spring, Jimmy's art is amazing…"

"Craig?" brings up Sean.

"Yeah, Craig too," adds Ellie, nonchalantly. "His new songs…so great."

Sean coughs, and then there's a few moments of silence.

"You seem happy too, El," speaks up Sean. "Alex told me you did well on the entrance tests and you're writing again. You patched up things with your mom. You smile more. I'm assuming you haven't…."

He glances down at her wrist, exposed since her glove doesn't cover it.

"I haven't," says Ellie, hoping not to sound too proud. "I…haven't cut."

"Great," says Sean, taking her wrist gently.

Ellie tucks a hair behind her ear with her free hand. The snow on Sean's shoulders trickles down the front of his jacket, the air still.

"I want to talk…for real," says Sean, softly.

Ellie glances around quickly. No one but the birds.

"Yeah?" urges Ellie.

"I shouldn't have yelled at you, for the Rick thing," says Sean. "I was angry, afraid, ashamed. Sorry for that. And I shouldn't…have left you in Toronto with bills, an empty apartment. I'll pay you or your mom back. I swear."

Ellie holds in a smile, but knows her teeth are poking from underneath her lips.

"I don't want your money, but go ahead," says Ellie.

Sean shakes his head. "There's no reason why I didn't call or phone, except that I didn't know what to say, how to fix it or if I could fix it. I mean, it's not like a car, you know? I could get a handle on it then. Just get that I'm terribly sorry…every kind of sorry."

Ellie smiles full-on now, so big her face hurts.

"That's as good as I can do," says Sean. "You're smiling, so that's decent, I suppose?"

She nods vigorously, hugs him. Holding his body against hers brings everything back: holding each other while watching the lamest of shows; trying to play off that attraction to him during detention, but eventually giving in; telling Jay to take a hike so they could enjoy their apartment together. So many good memories that were dormant before. To her surprise, Sean gets out of her grasp.

"I'm going to leave you alone," says Sean, staring her straight in the eye. "You're having a good year and…"

"My year's been sucking lately," interrupts Ellie. "Until today."

Sean grins. "You sure?"

She puts a hand on each of his cheeks, brings him to her, lightly touching his lips with hers. The rest of the snow from his jacket trickles under her coat, slides down to her chest area over her bra. She shivers slightly, pulls away.

"Chapped lips," she explains, not wanting to tell him what really happened.

"Don't care," says Sean happily, leaning in again.

V.

Nate picks up the remote control, flipping through various movie channels, pausing at some biopic on Shakespeare. He sees an actor reciting Romeo's famous lines, starts mouthing the words. Manny watches him closely, pulls her ponytail.

Sadly and predictably, Emma elected to go down to the skating pond without her, no doubt in search of Spinner and Darcy. Without Craig, this was proving to be a lonely day. She had Toby yesterday, but him cutting down his vacation time so he could baby-sit her wasn't good. She hoped the toblerone basket made up for it in some way.

How was she going to get over this heartbreak that lasted four years? Emma thought that throwing yourself right back into the mix would work, but she knew differently. Craig was the first boy she liked and who liked her back. He asked her to dance over Emma, over Paige, over everyone. He brought her roses, jewelry, stuffed animals. Those stupid Fluffy Fluffs, thinks Manny. Still, didn't that mean anything to him? Nate turns Romeo's monologue up louder. He was supposed to be it, thinks Manny. Craig was supposed to be the Romeo who fixed everything.

"Fancy a seat, Manuella?" says Nate, halting Manny's thoughts.

"Okay," says Manny.

Manny takes a seat, nervously crosses her legs. All the girls in drama club thought Nate was good-looking. Even Ms. Kwan said he had leading man looks. Amy even tried to grab his butt a couple of times.

"What's the diagnosis?" asks Manny, looking at his cast.

"Leg's useless for the entire trip," informs Nate.

"Curses be to foul ice!" says Manny in her best English accent.

Nate chuckles. "Ah, the lady knows the Queen's English."

"Trying out for Juliet next year," says Manny.

"Me too!" exclaims Nate. "I mean…for Romeo."

"Cool," says Manny.

Nate smiles, then his face grows tight.

"Apologies for dissing Emma the other day," says Nate. "I'm usually an okay guy."

'The new Emma would just forgive you," shrugs off Manny. "Don't worry about it."

"And I heard about Craig. Tough break."

Manny bites her lip. "The show must go on."

"And when it does, break a leg...only don't fetch a laptop before said show or you'll really break your leg."

Manny laughs lightly. She was enjoying herself, despite barely knowing Nate. It felt good to laugh. Their conversation is interruped by Toby and Clara coming through the double doors, Clara trying to catch her breath.

"Hey, guys," says Clara. "There's calling for this huge snowstorm. Like six to ten inches."

'They said it might pass, though," adds Toby.

"Doesn't affect me,' says Nate, grabbing his crutches. "So, vice prez, future Juliet, and...um..."

"Clara," says Clara, unzipping her jacket.

"Yeah. Wanna get some lunch?" finishes Nate.

Manny checks for Emma, but there's no sign of her.

"Okay," says Manny.

"Ugh, these things," moans Nate, staring down at his crutches.

"I've had crutches before," says Clara. "Let me help."

Clara steadies Nate, helps him towards the dining hall. Manny glances at Toby, who shyly grins at her.

" What?" says Manny. "Do I have something on my face?"

"Thanks...for the thing," replies Toby, stuffing his hands in his pants.

"The basket? Sure...it's whatever."

She won't tell him that she got up at six-thirty, when she knew no one would be up, to see Warren. Compared to what he did last night after that brutal break-up, it wasn't much anyway.

"Are you feeling better today?"

"Getting there."

"You don't have crutches, but...," starts Toby, offering her his arm.

"Toby...what am I going to do with you?" says Manny, smiling, looping her arm through his.