Broken Ice - Chapter 11
I do not own Warriors.
Melting
It grew hard to be negative.
I cannot describe what it is like to know you're going to die. I suppose that us cats that are going to die have a different mentality. Cats who have the rest of their lives ahead of them are less eager to do things. They tend to adopt the motto: "oh, well I can do that tomorrow," or: "I'll get to it one day". Cats like me don't think that way. We don't know if we'll have a tomorrow. We don't want to wait, because then we'll lose chances to do other things. We want to make the most of what we have left.
Ever since I joined the rogues, I began to think that way. Back in RiverClan, I was so negative, so pessimistic. But now, things were different. Now I had cats all around me that care about me, and want to see me to better. Falcon was constantly at my side—a loyal friend, and a trusted supporter. Sparrow and Dove weren't far behind. They encouraged me constantly. Helped me with my exercises, and always made sure I had something to eat, and water to drink.
They made it hard to . . . think about what was going to happen to me. They made it hard to accept it as a reality.
For the first time, in a very long time, I found myself . . . happy.
Genuinely happy.
The closer I became to these cats – I felt myself growing softer. I allowed myself to feel hope again. I allowed myself to feel happiness again.
I began to melt.
"Ice, do you want to come hunting with us today?" Pire called, his soft eyes blazing a bright evergreen at the mention of what I had come to learn was his favorite pastime.
Dove stood up suddenly, her eyes wary. "Pire, that might not be a good idea," she told her brother gently. "You know how Ice . . ."
"Can't breathe?" I offered with a small smile.
"That's not what I was going to say," Dove immediately defended, but I raised my tail for her to stop.
"It's okay, Dove. And, yeah, Pire. I actually do want to go." I pushed myself to my paws and started toward him, hoping my lungs would behave. "When do we leave?"
Pire purred in delight and looked over to Lithe. "You ready now?"
The tabby she-cat nodded, giving her white paw a final lick. "Yeah, if you two are," she meowed, bounding over. She gave me a warm look and nudged me with her head. "I'm excited you get to come along! Maybe we'll finally get to see how the Clans hunt."
I snorted and flicked my tail dismissively. "I told you – I didn't do the hunting. I was a medicine cat apprentice."
"Yeah, like we know what that is," Pire teased.
Rolling my eyes, I shoved him away with my paw. "C'mon, silly, get movin' . . . Who knows? Maybe I'll catch something today!"
"Yeah, and maybe hedgehogs will fly," Pire snickered in response.
"Pi! Leave her alone!" Dove called after us as we headed toward the forest.
We all laughed and walked in straight line. It reminded me of how some of the apprentices would take walks in the forest and carry on. It was funny – I actually felt like a carefree kitten with no worries. I felt . . . bubbly. It was almost as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Had I just decided to ignore what was happening to me? Or had I finally come to accept it? I didn't know, and I doubted I ever would.
Honestly, I didn't care. I felt good – better than I'd ever felt before.
I knew that I was still going to die.
I knew that my time was beginning to run out.
But I didn't care.
I was melting, and that was just fine with me.
A/N: Review?
