Chapter Eleven: Her Worst Memory
1993
"Severus hates him," Chase said when Damien asked her about Sirius Black. They were walking down Diagon Alley, buying new supplies for the following year. "And as I understand it, the feeling is mutual. Or was when they were in school, at any rate. Flourish and Blott's next?"
"D'you reckon what they're saying about him is true?" Damien asked, nodding to indicate he'd heard and agreed with her suggestion.
"Which part?"
"Any of them."
"Well... It's pretty well-documented what he did to those Muggles twelve years ago, and how he killed Peter Pettigrew. But as far as what Severus has said... You have to understand, Damien, my uncle holds a very low opinion of Black. He could make Christ sound like a soulless monster, if he didn't like him. Wonder what kind of protection they'll have at the school this year. ...Damien? Babe?" She looked around at him, realizing they'd reached Flourish and Blotts.
Damien didn't answer. He was looking into the bookstore's windows. "Kettleburn wants us to have those this year?" His eyes widened as he looked at several dozen snarling, snapping books, all of their covers embossed with the words The Monster Book of Monsters, in cages. The harried-looking owner was poking a walking stick into the melee, and as Chase and Damien watched, one of the books snapped shut on his hand.
"Kettleburn assigned that?" Chase said incredulously. Then she let out a low whistle. "Glad I dropped Care of Magical Creatures, then. Shall we?"
Damien nodded. "Best look around for a bit though, I think; the owner looks like he'll cry if I ask him to reach in that cage again."
Chase agreed; secretly, she felt the best way to get one of the Monster Books was to Stun one and use a Summoning Charm. Instead she and Damien meandered around the store, getting their copies of Advanced Potion-Making, The Standard Book of Spells, Grade 6, and Confronting the Faceless; Damien ventured back to the owner to ask for a Monster Book (Chase was sure she heard the owner whimper at Damien's request) while Chase looked for the N.E.W.T. course book for Muggle Studies and Advanced Rune Translation.
"Chase! Chase!" Damien's slightly-panicked voice broke into her search. She turned to see him struggling to keep his Monster Book closed. "Hold this, would you?"
"How?" The book snarled at her. "Shut up!" She snapped at it. The book only snarled louder.
"Just... Um, I don't know," he admitted. "Ouch!"
The book had snapped shut on Damien's thumb; he dropped it, and it flipped onto its side and began scuttling away.
"Oh no you don't," Chase muttered, attempting to stomp on the book's cover. It snapped shut just shy of her toes and kept moving. Finally, Damien threw himself on top of the book.
"All right," He said, straightening up. He'd pulled off his belt and was holding it threateningly over the book. "Let's try this again, you bastard of a book." Chase held her wand on it, but Damien managed to belt the book shut without anything more than a few growls, which continued as they paid for their books. "You know," he said as they walked out of the store, "I think you had the better idea, dropping Care of Magical Creatures."
"The lessons will never be boring, at least," Chase answered.
XXX
"Professor? Professor! Open up!" Damien knocked sharply on Severus's office door.
Severus rose and walked to the door, thoroughly irritated at having been addressed thus by a student. "Grant," he growled as he opened the door, "I do not appreciate being demanded-" He stopped when he saw why Damien had been so rude.
Chase was pale and shaking, and looked as though she might faint at any moment. Or vomit. As he ushered them into the office, he heard her let out a small, dry sob. "What happened?" He asked.
"There were dementors on the train, sir," Damien said, guiding Chase to the chair Severus had just vacated. He, too, looked shaken, but it was plain he wasn't nearly as concerned about himself as he was for Chase. "They came into our compartment and... One of them got really close to her, and she started screaming about 'why did you leave me'. She kept it up until we got to Hogsmeade Station; I only got her calmed down just before we got to the carriages."
Severus nodded; any other student, even one of his own Slytherins, he would have just sent up to the hospital wing, but Chase... Why am I not sending her there, really? He asked himself as he took down a bottle of Calming Draught.
Because she's too special to me. The answer surprised him, but he maintained his cool detachment as he handed Chase the cup.
Chase took the drink, somewhat reluctantly. When she had settled, she looked up at Severus.
"You don't need to explain," he said. "Go up to Ravenclaw Tower; I will tell Flitwick where you've gone and why, and have one of the house-elves send you some food."
"Thanks, but I'm not hungry," Chase said, and walked to the door without another word.
"Chase-" Damien began, but she shut the door; Severus never knew if she'd heard him.
"Go to the Great Hall," he told Damien. "The Sorting will begin in a moment. I believe one of your sisters is starting this year?"
"No, sir." Damien was still staring at the door in bewilderment. "Must be another Grant. I'm the only magic one in my family."
Severus turned to Damien, who was the same height as him. "Let her be," he said quietly.
"But sir, I don't understand. She knows my father's dead-"
"That's just it, Grant," he said roughly. "And she doesn't know that her mother is dead. Leave her alone; if she wants to tell you anything, she'll do it when she's ready."
"But it's the same thing-"
"No, it isn't." He flung open the door. "And if you go anywhere near her tonight, I promise to make you rue the day you met her."
XXX
"He's right," Chase said the next morning. She and Damien had a free period together after Transfiguration, and Damien had spent the first five minutes of it telling her what Severus had said to him. "Just let it go, okay? It was stupid."
"Chase, I think you really might need to talk about it." Damien leaned against a pillar, looking concernedly at her.
"Maybe I need to," Chase said. "But I don't want to. Just leave it be."
"Chase-"
"Drop it."
"But you really-"
"I said no, all right!" Chase snapped. Heads turned from across the courtyard, and she lowered her voice. "I didn't pressure you to talk about your dad after he died. Don't pressure me to talk about my mother, that's all I'm asking." She pulled out her copy of Confronting the Faceless and began reading it.
"I'm not pressuring you," he said desperately. "Chase, you really scared me last night. I've never seen you like that before."
"And you'll never have to see me like that again." She looked up at him. "Look, if all I need to not remember the day she left is to stay away from the dementors, that's easy; Dumbledore will never let them into the castle."
"And what about Hogsmeade trips?"
"What about them?" She turned a page in her book.
"Dumbledore told us last night we'll have to walk by them to get into Hogsmeade."
Chase looked up at him again, this time with a broad grin. "Lupin's got Patronuses on the syllabus."
The bell rang, and Damien followed Chase to Lupin's classroom, calling "What's a Patronus?" after her.
"Expecto Patronum!" The sixth-year N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts class chorused after Professor Lupin. He had just explained to them what a Patronus was (Chase had seen Damien's face relax when Lupin explained that they were used to ward off dementors), and the face of every student was eagerly fixed on Lupin.
"Very good," he said. "But I'm afraid that's the easy part. You see, a Patronus is fueled by happy memories. Not just any happy memory, mind, but the happiest memory you possess. Focus just on that for a moment, and on the count of three, attempt to produce a Patronus."
"Professor," Damien said, raising his hand. "What does a Patronus look like?"
"It depends on the caster," he said. Then he addressed the class at large. "Producing a full Patronus is one of the hardest things a wizard can do. We'll try it out, and if you can't make one right now, don't be disappointed; we'll work on them until everyone can. Now, on the count of three... One... Two... Three!"
It took over a month for the N.E.W.T. Defense Against the Dark Arts class to start producing Patronuses. Chase asked Severus for extra lessons, just so Damien could have the peace of mind knowing that she was okay to pass the dementors on their next Hogsmeade visit.
"So how about today?" Damien said as he settled himself next to Chase's desk on the last lesson before Halloween.
Chase smiled. "I've got a surprise for you," she said in a singsong voice.
"Oh goody, so do I," he smirked.
"You didn't!"
"I didn't what?" He asked innocently.
"Damien Grant, you've been taking extra lessons with Snape, haven't you?"
"Might have done," he said, and laughed at the look on her face. "Come off it. If you couldn't make one, I would've had to."
"Well, you just wait, Mister Grant," Chase said. "You'll see if I can produce a Patronus or not."
"We all will in a moment, Chase," Lupin said as he entered the classroom, smiling good-naturedly. "Wand at the ready, everyone," he said to the class at large. "Spread out; this is the last day we're going to work on Patronuses. If you'd like to do some extra work on them after today, see me after class and I'll work something out. On the count of three, think of the happiest thought you can. One, two, three!"
Chase's thoughts immediately flew to Damien and the day she'd met him. "Expecto Patronum!" She cried. Next to her, Damien also said the incantation.
"Well, well." Lupin smiled as he watched Chase's Patronus, a small and beautiful Arabian horse, walk serenely over to Damien's, a larger, more muscular stallion, and as the silvery horses touched noses. "One characteristic of a Patronus," he said, turning back to the class, "is that they can sometimes reflect a deep connection between two people."
The girls in the class let out a collective "Aww!" and the boys shifted uncomfortably. Chase, while quietly thrilled that she and Damien had such similar Patronuses, thought she might puke if things got any cuter.
"Chase, please see me after class," Lupin said. He turned to a Hufflepuff boy and said, "Hold your wand like this... That's it..."
"Professor?" Chase asked as the rest of the class filed out an hour later.
He looked up at her with an unreadable expression. "Do you ever hear that you look just like your mother?"
"Only every day," Chase said. "You knew her?"
"I did. She was a year below me here." He studied her again, his expression still unreadable. "She really did give you everything, didn't she. Except your eyes."
She shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I think they're my father's, but I've never met him."
He moved toward her slightly, as though to put a comforting hand on her shoulder, but stopped. "That was a wonderful Patronus. I assume Severus trained you?"
"Yes, a bit," she admitted. She wanted to ask Lupin what else he knew about her, but couldn't bring herself to be so blunt with him. "And thank you." She headed to Charms, her mind buzzing.
