I wake slowly, reluctantly, with my head pounding.

The usual light the streams through my windows is muted. I crack open my eyes and see the blinds have been closed and a new bottle of water sits next to my bed with a bottle of aspirin. Killian.

I sit up carefully, holding my head as it throbs again.

Killian is laying on the futon, which he must have dragged close to my bed in the night, snoring quietly. I watch him as I down a couple pills and drink half the bottle of water. Besides the headache, I feel okay, thank god.

Sighing, I lean back against the wall and reach for my phone. It's plugged into the charger though I don't remember plugging it in last night. It must have been Killian. My phone, the water and pain pills, he stayed the night. My heart strings tug. He's pretty sweet.

He left Ulla to come talk to me last night, I suddenly remember. What did he want to talk about?

Just then, Killian inhales sharply and opens his eyes.

"You're awake," he says groggily, sitting up. I hadn't noticed last night but he must have still been in his pirate costume when he helped me as he's now in a puffy linen shirt with a pile of leather at his feet. Which means... I avert my eyes before I can tell what kind of underwear he's wearing. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Like something in my brain is trying to beat its way out, but otherwise fine."

"Good," he stretches, yawning hugely, "I was worried about you. I hardly slept." He does look a little worse for wear.

I pick at a loose thread on my comforter, avoiding his gaze, "it was just a little too much alcohol."

"And being assaulted or don't you remember that part of the evening?"

A flash of a dark attacker, being pinned. I shudder. "Trust me, I remember. I'll make a report with the campus police today."

By the set of his jaw, I can tell he's still not happy about it but he doesn't say anything else. I clear my throat and change the subject as there's nothing we can do about the attack except what I've already said I'll do. "You never really got around to saying what you came here for last night."

"Right," he draws out the word, looking uncomfortable. "It's really not that important all things considered."

"What? No way. It was so important last night that you had to rush over here last night to talk to me and now it's nothing? Why isn't it important now?"

He huffs, annoyed, "I just had some time to think and maybe it's a good thing you were too legless to talk." I stare him down, an incredulous look on my face. "I don't know what else to say."

"Well neither do I." I cross my arms over my chest, narrowingng my eyes.

Why am I so mad? What was I hoping for? A confession of his undying love for me? Please. I don't have time for love. And I don't want it.

The anger fades from his face with a sigh. "You said you were in love once. What happened?"

Shocked, I blurt out, "it didn't work out."

"So you just shut out love altogether? Never giving it another chance? David told me you haven't dated in years. You gave up?" His eyes burn into mine, pleading, asking me something unspoken.

My shock fades into anger again. "Yes I shut it out. The only love I have room for in my life is for my brother and Mary Margaret. Everything else is a distraction and a waste of time." I can see each word hitting him like a physical blow but I can't stop. This all has to end. I can't keep having these feelings for him and getting jealous when he flirts with other people when he's not mine. And he can't be mine. Because he'll just hurt me in the end.

His face transforms into a cool, indifferent mask. "That's why it's not important anymore." He stands and dresses in his pirate garb again. I'm too stunned to say anything. "I'll see you Wednesday for tutoring." And then he's gone. The door shutting behind him echoing in my head.


A/n well I'm the literal worst. Sorry seems too small for making you all wait like 6 months but I am sorry. And sorry that this chapter wasn't happy. I'm sure all of you wanted a sweet proclamation of love from killian. But these are 2 very damaged people and drama is fun. Fret not. I'll write again soon. Permission to verbally abuse me in pm if I don't. I don't love this chapter but it needed to go this way because of how I want something to go later. And sorry it's short, I didn't want to draw it out since I don't love it. Thanks for reading