A/N: Since you already know what happened during Sirius' time with Harry and the rest up until the veil, I have chosen not to write it. This story wasn't even meant to be over 10 chapters and it's already gone past that, so my apologies to anyone who is irritated by this.
Chapter 11
"I'm a psychopath, you know that right?" Sirius asked the guard during one of their weekly chats. He was sitting up against the bars on his cell with his back facing the guard.
The guard laughed a moment and shook his head. "No, you're not a psychopath." He stated within the confines of their silencing barrier.
"Yes I am… I'm in love with one of my godfathers – well love may not be the right word… I certainly like him, I appreciate him and I think he's grown to be one of the nicest looking men I've ever met… but he's my godfather. That's horrid, isn't it?"
The guard shrugged. "It could be worse… you could be in love with your own father."
Sirius chuckled and nodded his head. "True… It's not even like I'm gay though, I'm mostly straight… I just… I don't know there's something about him." He mused.
He guard shifted uncomfortably in his seat and looked to Sirius. It was 1993, the year that Sirius was set to escape. The month was October and the guard knew he was cutting it insanely close considering this would be the second to last time he would see the inmate before he aided in his escape. He cleared his throat and glanced around, ensuring the others were asleep. "I must tell you something." He whispered, despite the barrier.
Sirius frowned at the sudden change in tone and looked back to the guard. "What is it?"
The guard shifted uncomfortably. "In preparation for your escape, Albus has given me some very strange orders… I intend to follow most of these orders, however there is one that I will not. He told me to make my way to the Ministry the day you're supposed to return and tape a note to the veil's arch asking you to shift to your animagus."
Sirius shook his head. "There's no need, I already plan on doing that." He stated with confidence.
"No, you don't understand, shut up and let me finish." He snapped. He cleared his throat again and apologized. "Sorry, I just… look, he told me that once you come back through the veil you're going to lose all memory of being Sirius… that you'll only have the muscle memory of the spells he's had you do… I don't think it's fair, I think you should remember being who you are; it's a part of your life after all." He watched Sirius' face contort into something that reflected betrayal. "I've been working on a spell for you and it will allow you to keep most of your memories. I've had a bit of help making it though, and I hope that it works. If all goes as planned it should work. All you need to do is cast it on yourself before you go to the Ministry; can you do that?"
Sirius nodded his head. "I've spent the last decade practicing spells, I don't see why I couldn't add another to the list." He said with a half smirk. He was so looking forward to his escape; although he knew that Sirius Black as everyone knew him would inevitably die, he also knew that he would be able to go back and do what he needed to. "I think that the biggest testament to my sheer willpower is how well I'm hiding my pure rage at the old bastard for using me like he has…"
"You're not hiding it very well; your hands are bleeding." The guard pointed out.
Sirius wiped the blood on his clothing. He'd been digging his nails into his palms again. He sighed and glanced back to the guard. "Will you do me one big favor? At least tell me who you are? I want to know who to thank when I get back home…" He muttered, trying to see past the guard's glamour.
The guard shook his head. "I can't do that… maybe one day I'll let you know, but not any time soon." He coughed and glanced to his watch. "Alright, I need to teach you that spell, it's almost time for me to go."
The day of the escape Sirius was beyond nervous. He was completely rattled, trying his best to act as inconspicuous as possible. Finally he saw his guard coming up the way and his heart leapt in his chest. He wasn't sure how they were going to pull this off, all he knew is that it had to happen because his younger self could clearly remember Sirius as a separate person.
He cracked his neck and leaned against the wall. The guard walked up to his cell and opened it. "30846, your presence has been demanded by the Wizengamot." He stated, pulling his wand. "Assume the position."
Sirius held his hands out to have them bound with nothing more than a light. The light was impenetrable though, and kept him from moving them. He followed along silently as the guard led him out to the floo. He hadn't been filled in 100% on how the escape was going to happen, hence the sense of trepidation he felt going through with it at this time.
Soon they were out at a fireplace, the prison's floo. His guard called out for the Ministry of Magic and they stepped in. Sometime during their travel the guard removed the light from Sirius' wrists and Sirius took that moment to transform into his animagus. The guard pushed him off course, sending him somewhere else entirely.
To Sirius' surprise he found himself in the floo of Arabella Figg, an older woman who loved cats and smelled of cabbages that used to babysit him. He stumbled out and the woman glanced to a clock. "Right on time…" She muttered, pulling out a box. "I believe someone wanted you to have this… his name was Remus." She said, watching with a smile as he opened it. It was the cloak of invisibility.
Sirius smiled and held it tight to his chest. "Thank you." He whispered before shifting to his animagus and making his way out of the house. The first thing he saw was himself, making his way to be picked up by the Knight Bus.
The years he had to spend with his younger self proved to be of great happiness for him. He often found himself shaking his head at the innocence he carried, despite having led the life he had. He was almost always there, watching… waiting. He was also practicing the spell that his guard had given him, daily without fail. He would remember and he would make Dumbledore pay for trying to make him forget.
He'd thought several times of taking the spell to Snape to see if he thought it would work, however he had ultimately decided against that. If he couldn't take the word of whoever had given him the spell, then perhaps it was not meant to be.
He'd considered himself going soft in his old age, not that he was too old to begin with. He was spending a night in Grimmuald Place, waiting on the call that they were to go to the Ministry when Hermione had entered and have him a glare. "Why have you been practicing a memory erasing spell?" She demanded.
Sirius looked to her with a frown. "What do you mean?"
"That spell you were doing this morning in the mirror – that was a memory erasing spell. All you really need to figure that out is a basic knowledge of Latin, and I want to know why you were doing it. Whose memory are you planning on erasing?"
Sirius shifted positions and tilted his head towards her. He looked around then cast a silencing barrier around them. "Hermione, it's not an erasing spell, it's a spell to ensure that I retain my memories, no matter what."
The girl shook her head. "Whoever taught you that spell is trying to con you. Look at the words! Vixtermita, it's a mixture of 'extermina vita' which means 'erase life'. The way the words are set up suggests it's a memory spell rather than a killing spell, and quite frankly I don't see how you didn't see that earlier! It's a spell to erase an entire lifetime's worth of memories from a person's mind."
Sirius sat there, half enraged. He didn't know who to believe anymore; the guard who had helped him escape or the old man who had taught him so many spells. Hell for all he knew they were one and the same! He stood, dismantling the barrier and decided to confront Dumbledore about this himself when the call came in to go to the Ministry.
Sirius panicked. He was on autopilot, going where he was led, following the children around, ensuring that others didn't get hurt. He and Bellatrix had been choreographing their escapade for weeks now and he was the only one of the Order who knew her to be a spy, besides Dumbledore that is. He knew the time was coming, but what should he do? Should he cast the spell on himself before they got to the room? Would it do as Hermione had said?
He suddenly stopped. Hermione was the brightest witch of her age; she'd never lied to him as Harry and as far as he knew she'd never lie to him as Sirius. He trusted Dumbledore more than the guard, however it had seemed as though Dumbledore were lying about something every time they spoke of the veil.
His mind was reeling; what the HELL was he going to do about all of this?! Time was drawing closer, the first shot had been fired! He had no time to think, only act. Sirius fought his way into the room that held the veil. Was he really going to trust his life to someone who had spent all of both of his lives lying to him? Yes… yes he was. He didn't bother with the spell that the guard had given him and with impeccably choreographed moves, he watched the utter despair in his younger self's face as he fell through the veil.
