Chapter 11
- Think Like A Man

Authors Note:
The Twilight series, and any related characters, do not belong to me.
Authors Note 2:
This chapter was originally over twenty pages long. I decided to cut it in half. Updates should be quick at least, right? I'll save the thank you's and everything for the next part, I don't want to break the flow of what should have been one chapter.

Bella's Corset-
http:/www(dot)polyvore(dot)com/cgi/img-thing?(dot)out=jpg&size=l&tid=9861736
Bella's Shoes-

http:/www(dot)sweetboots(dot)com/newrock/platformanrk/th8317(dot)jpg
(Really wish I could afford shit like this, haha. I have to make do with hot-topic and clearance sites. =P)
Jasper Whitlock-
http:/cm1(dot)theinsider(dot)com/media/0/521/99/jacksonx0.400x491.(dot)jpeg
- Black and white, smoking, cowboy hat. Very nice, haha.
Jasper Whitlock 2-
http:/www(dot)ifelthope(dot)net/gallery/albums/Jackson%20Rathbone/Scans/May2009-InkedMagazine/normal_002(dot)jpg

Playlist
http:/grooveshark(dot)com/#/playlist/The+Handcuff+Bracelet/28554942
Smooth
- Santana
She Thinks My Tractor's Sexy- Kenny Chesney
Over and Over- Three Days Grace
Think Like A Man- Orianthi
Dance in the Dark- Lady Gaga

Bella's Point of View

It was Sunday. I really wanted to call Alice and make plans, but I figured the family had seen enough of me for one weekend. I had spent most of Friday night and almost all of Saturday taking advantage of their hospitality. Pancakes for 'breakfast,' a buffet of hot-pockets, popcorn, chips, and mini hot-dogs throughout the evening. Cheesecake set out for a late-night snack, I loved Esme. She had a knack for unerringly knowing what we'd want to eat. Before we knew it, a platter would be placed on the coffee-table.

I had offered to help, but she had literally forced me to leave the kitchen. They had a dishwasher, they didn't need me to wash dishes. Everything was spotless. There was nothing to clean. I wanted to help with the food preparation, but she swore consequences would be dire should I succeed in my offers of assistance. Accepting defeat was the only option.

Edward had been quiet, as per normal, yet he seemed to be relaxed and in a good mood. In the middle of Troy he had taken a smoke and shower break. I had been stupid enough to follow. If he hadn't taunted me with joining him I might have been less likely to go trotting after him like a puppy. A cigarette had seemed like a good idea. Just as I'd put it out, the door opened. Standing in steam, still dripping wet, Edward stood in the doorway. He wore nothing but a towel.

I rolled over to check the time. Charlie would be gone. Perfect. I rummaged through the remnants of my luggage. Lighting a cigarette, I was startled by the sharp smell. I opened a window quickly and replaced the damp towel under my door. I understood Edward's present now. I had been confused to see two books and a pack of cigarettes near my jacket. With him nowhere to be found, I buried the box in one of my pockets.

I giggled, marijuana cigarettes. Genius. I'd heard of them before, but no one had been willing to make them for me. I didn't have the slightest idea of how to make them myself. Why had he gone to all the trouble? Wasn't he worried Charlie would catch me? I laughed again, Edward probably hadn't thought I'd be smoking indoors. Alright, this would be my last one inside. I couldn't smell the pot, though I could taste it, strong and tart against my tongue. Ha, I located the small object wrapped in one of my shirts. Where were the batteries? Oh. In my desk, right. There. All set.

I carefully put the cigarette out on the tree leaning against my window. No cigarette butt's to give me away, no burn on the tree's bark for Charlie to zone in on. If he were straddling the branch looking in, he'd see it. I snorted at the thought, we'd have a lot more to worry about if that were the case.

I settled back in to bed looking forward to relieving some of my frustration. Where was I? Oh, aside from the fuck-hot, fire-in-my-veins kiss Edward had bestowed upon me Friday night, nothing else had transpired between us. Until the shower. Edward and his way-too-small towel covering something that appeared incredibly large in contrast to the now tenting fabric. He'd be warm to the touch, his skin slightly flushed. Eyes bright, happy. Black ink across one of his shoulders, a very sparse amount of hair spread across his chest. A ring through his nipple, a small line of brown on his stomach leading downward…

The way he had looked. Surprised, smug, then challenging. One of his pierced eyebrows raised as he waited for my reaction. I had run like a coward, but the image was seared into my memory. So many tattoo's, his hipbones sharp and pale in comparison. He had no ink that I could see below his waist. He licked his lip, crossed his arms. I followed the trail of his tongue, over one stud, his lip ring, another stud. Ugh! Fuck, fuck, shit. I clawed the sheets and rode out my orgasm. God yes. I fell asleep again for a few hours.

When I next awoke, it was two in the afternoon. A three hour nap after nearly nine hours of sleep. I was getting lazy. Time to start what was left of the day. I showered, changed, and started on dinner. Hamburgers and a few different salads were on the menu. I had given up trying to get Charlie to eat healthily. He snuck chocolate chip cookies, pie, pastries that I was sure Alice made him. I'd finally thrown in the towel, if he was going to eat junk food, I might as well serve what he liked with the hopes he'd lay off the rest.

"Smells damn good in here, Bells."

I liked that he called me by my old nick-name. I'd thought he'd forgotten. The day at the hospital had brought us closer together. How? I wasn't sure. I hadn't been in any immediate danger, he knew my penchant for clumsiness. All the same, he seemed even happier to have me around now.

"Thanks," I replied, smiling. Maybe he had been in a better mood because I'd stopped serving 'rabbit food.'

"How're you cooking them?" He took his jacket off and hung it on one of the pegs near the door. I was proud of him, he usually slung it over the couch or the back of his chair.

"Medium rare," I scoffed. "Is there any other way to eat a burger?"

"Hell no," he reached into the fridge for a beer.

His drinking didn't worry me, he usually stopped after three or four. And even then, that was over the course of an evening, not one after the other like he had in the past. So far as I knew, Charlie hadn't drank himself into oblivion in a long time.

"How's school going? You have a good time with the Cullen kids? We didn't get much time to talk what with you over there and all."

"Sorry," I offered hesitantly.

"No, I didn't mean that in a bad way," he reassured me, opening the bottle. "I'm glad you've made friends. Like I said, the Cullens are a good family. Was I right about- you know-?"

"I told you," I laughed. "I think you're right, that's all I'm saying on the matter." I felt a little bad telling that white-lie, but he'd be a lot more worried if he found out that a sexual relationship was blossoming between Edward and I. He certainly wouldn't let me go over there anymore unattended.

Besides, I had yet to ask if Edward were bisexual. There was always the possibility, and once I found out he was, it wouldn't be a lie. It'd be a half-truth, nothing like a lie. His main concern was my safety. I was perfectly safe with Edward and Alice, and, when it came to it, I'd be really safe with Edward, alone.

"School's going well. I don't anticipate any problems, the subject matter's easy enough."

"You read all the time," Charlie added, in what I hoped was a hopeful statement.

"Yeah, I do."

"It's a good thing," he added gruffly. "With everything that happened- your mother. The schooling situation. Well, I'm proud of you. You asking for help, I knew that couldn't have been easy for ya. And then moving your senior year, settling in here so easily. You were always a versatile kid. Grown up now, I suppose."

"Not so much," I took the steaks off the grill. "I still have acne breakouts."

"Yeah, well, get used to that. Mine stopped somewhere in my thirties."

"No," I pretended to be horrified. "You can't be serious."

"Sorry," he shrugged.

I loved Charlie. He was so easy to be around. No emotional outbursts or clingy moments of panic. He was very straight-forward. If there was a problem he'd bring it up bluntly. There was no beating around the subject like Renee was prone to do for hours. He didn't take an unhealthy fascination with my life, my friends, the guys I was seeing. Mom had. Sometimes, out of the blue, she'd sit me down and make me recount, nearly second to second, what had happened for the past, however much time she chose.

Charlie basically needed to know whether I'd be safe where, and with whom I was with. Curfew, I had realized, was negotiable past the limits we'd set. Like with Alice, he had let me stay the night, and probably last night too, if I had pushed a little. So long as I continued to do well in school, I didn't foresee any major problems in our future. Good food, a responsible daughter; Charlie was content, and I was happy because of it.

"You know, acne will go away. The damage to your lungs won't."

Shit. "There's no point in denying it, huh?"

"I smelled it on you the moment you got into my car. I thought maybe it was because you'd been on the plane, I know they don't allow that anymore, but all the same. Then I smelled it again when you'd come home from school. Doesn't take a genius to put two and two together."

"What, um, d'you want me to say?"

"You're, what, eighteen? You can make up your own mind. I smoked awhile back. And I quit. I went to a hypnotist down in Port Angeles. Some kind of new scientific breakthrough, they said I wouldn't have the craving for one so much anymore. I figured, what the hell. Went and let them put me under. I guess its worked, haven't needed one since."

"I don't remember you smoking."

"No, you wouldn't. I never lit up around you. Only outside or while on duty. I didn't want to bring that stuff around you."

"Oh," I arranged the burgers in buns and put my bowls of salad onto the table.

"Like I said, its your decision. I'd prefer you not smoke in the house, but if you must… restrict it to your room and keep the window open all the time. I'd hope you don't smoke more than half a pack, preferably less?"

"Yeah," I stretched the truth. Again, not a lie. I would do my best to keep it under half a pack, in the house. Assuming he meant per day, I wasn't going to verify. I had started smoking, and even on my best day, no less than six or seven cigarettes a day. Now, it was closer to a pack and a half, especially with all the time Charlie was working when I had the house to myself. Today had been the first time I'd lit up indoors.

"Well, alright," Charlie shrugged. "You get to repaint when you decide to move out. The entire house, mind you, not just your room."

"Done," I agreed. This was so damn surreal. Who would have ever guessed? "Thanks."

"You're not looking for trouble, you don't drink. Everyone has some sort of vice. I trust you to keep yours under control."

"I do." That hadn't been a lie at all. I never drove after drinking or smoking mj. Yes, both impaired my judgment, but I was never dangerous about it unless I was in trusted company. Days of harder drug use were over, I didn't like what they did to my mind and body. Weed was safe, it was even legal in some states.

We finished dinner by sticking to general conversational topics. All was quiet, according to him. He read the paper while I cleaned up and prepared cherry pie and low-fat ice-cream. Hopefully he wouldn't notice.

We watched some television, Charlie commented only positively about dessert. Good, the pie had been sugar-free. I finished my homework and packed my book bag. Edward had given me 'Fight Club' and 'House of Leaves' to read. I had already read most of Palahniuk's novels, though I'd never heard of Mark Z. Danielewski. It looked interesting.

Four cigarettes later, feeling high and happy, I dreamed about a stripper with a bunny tattoo and Edward Cullen.

o . o . o

I got to school the next day refreshed and, now, high. Examining my outfit, I didn't see anything wrong with it. I wore a pair of torn jeans, a cute oriental-style corset. With light green eye-shadow and light pink lips, I looked pretty good. Thanks to Alice's text-message: 'no sharp heels, rain incoming,' I was in my broken-in, thick-heeled goth boots. The design almost matched the logo on Edward's hoodie, which I was wearing instead of my leather jacket.

I checked the time; shit, I was a little bit late. My truck was heartily protesting being driven without a proper warm-up. I'd take better care of her in the future, Charlie hadn't been home when I woke up. Considering my reaction to Edward, I had wanted to work off some extra tension before seeing him again.

Stopping at my locker, I grabbed the books I'd need. The hallways were jam-packed, where would Edward be? He hadn't been smoking outside. If he wasn't with Alice, no, I checked her locker, he would probably be at his own.

Bingo.

Before I had a chance to say hi, I had to blink once or twice to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Was that? No way- an honest to goodness cowboy was walking the hallways. I wanted to go over and see if his hat was authentic, if his boots were real leather. No fucking way.

"New guy?" If anyone would know, Edward definitely would have been informed.

"Taken," he said unhelpfully.

I studied the new guy while I thought about Edward's answer. Taken? He wasn't really my type though I didn't let that stop me from looking. I preferred my men tattooed, pierced, well spoken, and leather-clad. New guy fulfilled one aspect of my criteria. Wait, had he meant… was he bisexual? Had he, I tried not to laugh- had Edward already called dibs on Jasper?

I glanced at Edward. There was no contest. I felt my amusement fade as two emotions filtered across his expression. Anger and possession. Next thing I knew, he was pressing me against the lockers, lips pressed against me, one leg between mine. I twined my hands in his hair and groaned as he rocked his hips. I bit down accidentally as one of my knees gave out. He supported me, bringing me closer to him, and opened his mouth. Warmth, his tongue ring smooth. He tasted of cigarettes, smelled like smoke and all things masculine.

Wearing a leather jacket, one of his band shirts, and baggy black jeans, I thought he looked amazing. As always. Edward Cullen could pull off any outfit, I hated him a little because of it. I had a specific body type, wearing anything but tried-and-true variations on outfits made me seem short and mouse-like. Even with heels on he stood a good two or three inches above me. Without the extra height, I'd be dwarfed by him. I liked it a lot. His fingers dug into my hips roughly as he stepped back.

"See you at lunch," he closed his locker and walked away.

What the fuck? The bell was going to ring, sure, but that was it? Sadistic and masochistic, my short alone session earlier was doing nothing to alleviate the desire coursing through me. Why had he been so angry? Possessive. Because you were looking at another man.

That couldn't be it. Edward didn't care, did he? I felt the anger rise as I formed a conclusion. He had seemed fine before the cowboy showed up. Then, bam, he was all over me as new guy walks past. Was it really because I'd displayed appreciation for another male? He hadn't claimed anything, I wasn't anything to him. If he thought he could walk around, kissing me whenever I thought about flirting with someone, well, I'd be a very happy chick. No, you won't... the voice inside me screamed.

Right, I wasn't happy about this. If Edward wanted me, he could damn well do something about it. Coolly walking away, not in the least bit ruffled… smug, even, he had another thing coming. I wasn't a damn toy. He couldn't become all pissed-off if someone else wanted to play with me, if he was no longer… I didn't even want to finish that thought. When, and if something happened between us, it wouldn't be because he were using me. Maybe I needed to make that clear. I'd meet him at lunch and clear the air, I wanted no details spared.

Lunch-time, finally! Classes had been dragging by. if it weren't for my I-pod and a nicely concealed book, I'd have lost it.

"Bella, Bella, oh my god, you have no idea… Jasper… we talked… his accent!"

"Alice, calm down," I laughed and put my hands on her shoulders. With the way she was bouncing around, talking a mile a minute without making any sense, I was afraid she'd spontaneously combust. "Now, slowly, what's going on?"

"Have you seen the new people yet?"

"I saw one of them, a guy. Cowboy hat and boots?"

"Yeah," she smiled dreamily. "He's from Texas, name's Jasper Whitlock."

"Very nice," I took her by the shoulders and led her to the lunch-room. She needed sustenance, definitely no more sugar. Tea, wasn't tea supposed to be soothing, relaxing? Snapple. Probably not. I grabbed two sandwiches, two bottles of Sprite, and two oatmeal cookies. Alice liked sweet food, as was apparent by her never-ending supply of energy. Denying her cookies would break her heart, at least I knew she liked oatmeal. Chocolate chip, god forbid a sugar cookie- she'd be bouncing off the walls.

"He's got an accent," she continued. "And he worked on a ranch, re-enacted Civil War battles, raised horses. He really is a cowboy."

"And you want him," I supplied, knowing where this was going.

"I really do," she giggled. "And I think he feels the same about me." That's what Edward had meant! Some of my confusion was alleviated, but- no, Alice-time, I'd deal with Edward later.

"You work fast," I complimented.

"So do you." She went for the cookies first. I sighed and unwrapped one of my sandwiches. Edward was nowhere in sight. He was probably smoking outside again. There were more important matters at hand, he could come find me if he really wanted to talk.

"Tell me more. How many kids does he want? Do you plan for a winter or spring wedding? Personally, I'd go for Fall. Halloween costumes or a masquerade, it'd be a lot of fun."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes. "It's nothing like that. He told me my eyes were cornflower blue and he said I was sweet, though."

"What prompted that?"

"I did my usual, you know, 'Welcome to Forks, my name's Alice' thing. He seemed really interested in the school and upcoming activities."

"Alice, please tell me you didn't paraphrase the state's website."

Right before I'd left, Alice had showed me a few good web-pages for online shopping. They specialized in unique outfits, a little pricey, but more than worth it if I were willing to spend that much. I might be. I had taken over to show her a few of my favorites when I stumbled across the Committee folder with school and state information. I had been amused, and alarmed, when she told me about her notebook of interesting facts and places, which she carried around in her bag.

"Well, not really…"

"You did, didn't you," I covered my mouth so turkey wouldn't go spewing across the table-top. Table-manners, me? Usually.

"I filled him in on a few of the better places. He mentioned liking fishing, hunting, and hiking… so I told him about a one or two, maybe four, hiking spots and fishing locations. I didn't go over-board, he appreciated it," she defended herself.

"I'm sure he did," I said as she bit her lip, unsure. I wanted her to be confident, happy, not worried. "Did he make any plans with you concerning said tourist places?"

"Uh, not concretely."

"But?"

Alice picked at the cellophane of her sandwich, "He seemed really curious about the dance coming in a week. I think he asked me to go with him, but I'm not sure."

"What did he say?"

"He, er, asked me to keep my schedule cleared because he intends to call on me."

"No," my jaw dropped. "He wants to call on you?"

"Hot, right?"

"Hell yes!" I smiled happily.

"Alice Cullen, if I remember correctly." Cowboy boots came into view, I instantly scooted over so he could sit next to her.

"And Bella Swan," I offered him my hand after I realized Alice wasn't going to say anything. Her eyes pleaded with mine, I knew the feeling. Between forming words into sentences and actually speaking them, the brain short-circuited.

"Jasper. Nice to meet you," he drawled. "Would you mind if I join you?"

I liked his laugh, it was easy, free. He was very nice to look at, I could see why Alice was tongue-tied. He looked rakish with above-the-shoulder chestnut hair, green eyes. They were really green, especially in this light. Unlike Edward's, they were no hints of blue thrown in.

"You have a tattoo," Alice squeaked.

"Yeah, darlin', I do," he looked up at the brim of his hat. "My apologies, I'm not remembering my manners."

I think Alice came as he removed his hat and shook his head slightly. She nearly drooled when he ran a hand through his hair. I could see no calculation on his face or in his body language. He was completely at ease, with good table manners, to boot.

"Forgive me for not wanting to go into meanings?" Well-spoken, too, I noted.

"Of course," Alice smiled. "I wouldn't have asked."

Things were under control here, time for me to make a graceful escape. I read nothing callous or mean-spirited in Jasper Whitlock. He was keeping a nice space between them, though I could see Alice edging closer. Every now and again he'd look down as if all the attention embarrassed him. Angling his body toward Alice, he was still withdrawn despite his openness with her. There was nothing to fear about him. Hell, I could probably take him if I had to.

Viable excuse number three thousand and sixteen. "I'm going to study in the library, I've got a test later."

"Want help?"

"No," I smiled at Alice's offer, "I'm good. Stay, converse."

"It was nice meeting you, Bella Swan," he stood as I did. Alice gave me wide eyes behind his back, I winked reassuringly.

"A pleasure, Jasper." His eyes met mine for three seconds. I mentally thanked Renee for enrolling me in Etiquette classes when I was younger. Who would have known I'd be standing across from a southern gentleman who knew the nuances of courtship. As was expected of him, he took notice of my leaving. When he stood, I knew that he'd follow the guide-lines established centuries ago. I had received his full attention, as was warranted any female speaking, yet his interest was clearly focused on Alice.

I walked away and heard him sit back down. There were so many comments he could have made, I'd heard many sexual variants. Jasper had nodded at me, smiled. Classy of him. Polite rejection with an open suggestion of friendship. If he weren't careful, girls here were going to tear him apart.

The bell would ring in four minutes. I walked through the front doors and outside, marveling at the lack of security. Phoenix had metal detectors, security guards posted at the doors, four who walked the hallways while school was in session. Pat-downs and book bag searches were a common thing. I had made friends with most of the guards. They had stopped pulling me aside after a few packs of cigarettes and three months of good-girl behavior. I was on a first name basis with them come sophomore year. It made drug carrying and weapon concealing so much easier.

Where the fuck was Edward? Had he barricaded himself in the men's restroom? I knew for damn sure that the library was closed, he couldn't be there. I was in his smoking section; what the fuck? I heard the bell ring.

Fuck it, I wanted to finish my cigarette. No one but Petry made a fuss if I were late. Better than freezing on concrete, I could sit in the draft-free confines of my truck. That's when I saw him. He wouldn't be able to see me from this angle, I was parked near the staff's cars. Edward's Volvo was around the side of school's wall. To go over, not to go over. How badly did I want answers? No, how badly did I want to see him? I cursed him soundly as I walked over. If I had been in stiletto's, I'd have waited until after school to find him.

"You could get in trouble for skipping classes, you know." Not that I was one to talk. "Nice ride," I admired his car. He took good care of it, the paint sparkled, I could see my reflection in the sleek metal. It had recently been washed, vacuumed too from the look of things.

He had his feet propped on the dashboard. Okay, so it was lived in, but there were no fast-food wrappers or bags strewn along the floors. I climbed inside taking his silence as invitation. The seats were soft, leather, I made sure to be careful of my rings. All I needed was for my claw to bring stuffing pouring out of the pristine seats; Edward would love that.

I made myself comfortable. Taking his lead, I stretched my legs out. He shot me a quick glance, glaring briefly at my shoes.

"Sorry, do you mind?"

"No," he replied nearly burning his hand with the amount of ash collected on his cigarette.

At his continued silence, I sighed and pulled a book out of my bag. The music was good, I had no complaints. I stretched out further resting my ankles on his legs. Warmth, finally. With both of our windows open, I had given up on the 'safe, breeze-free' aspect of smoking inside of a vehicle.

"Smoke one of these," I plucked the cigarette out of his hand deftly and replaced it with the one I'd been smoking. "Lighten up, it's alright. Only two more classes to go." At least that's what I kept telling myself. I was looking forward to hearing more from Alice, somehow I knew she'd be finding me, or vice-versa, once the final bell had rang.

"What do you think about it?"

My book moved as he tapped the cover. Conversation time, huh? "I don't know yet," I answered honestly. "I haven't gotten far enough to form any formal opinions."

"Seriously?" Again, he was asking a question that didn't need to be answered. He wasn't really addressing me, I knew the signs by now.

"Yeah," I replied.

Maybe it was my fault. My answers sometimes took people by surprise. Edward didn't seem to be the type to misunderstand. I didn't want to say 'it's good,' or 'it's fine.' They were such cop-out answers, neither of those phrases really told me anything. If a book were truly good, I wanted a passionate answer. And, the highest compliment of all, in my opinion, was to hear that they trusted my judgment enough to actually give the book some thought. I tried to do the same for everyone who recommended something they'd loved.

Uh-oh. His eyes were darkening again. I had three options to pick from. "… don't jump me again." I'd remember that expression for a long time. Right before he'd backed me against the lockers, his eyes had looked just like that.

"What?" Confusion replaced lust, I breathed a sigh of relief. I wanted us to talk, not go at one another like hormonal, well, us.

"You, you're looking at me like you did this morning. I'm not interested in Jasper, if that makes you feel any better," I decided to pounce on the problem. "I've already had a long conversation with Alice over lunch."

I watched, amazed, as four emotions ran across his face. Surprise, anger, acceptance, fury. What the fuck was with him? We continued talking, tension in the car growing as his eyes darkened. I stayed more toward aggressive than passive. Edward had a very dominant personality, I wasn't going to let him roll over me without offering some sort of resistance. At one point, I couldn't help smacking him. Better to release a bit of my irritation with him that way than to full out swing at him. I was tempted to punch him anyway. It was getting close to the breaking point. I needed to act in one way or another.

"First you're angry," shit, the tirade had started. Too late, it felt good. "Then you glare at me. Next you're making casual conversation, you seemed pissed off again, briefly, and now it appears you're amused by something. What the fuck, man?"

His eyebrows came together as I finished. Still nothing. He looked as though speech was imminent, I was tired of waiting.

"I thought we were back to being friends, or at least trying. This weekend went well enough! You talked, laughed, seemed happier. Today? I don't know anymore. What the fuck do you want from me?" So much anger, I fumed silently to gain patience and missed a lot of what he was saying. I could read his body language, that's all I needed to see. So long as he was pissed, I got the gist of what he was saying.

"You think I hate you?" he asked.

That phrase stuck out. What the fuck had I been saying? His voice; low, confused. No emotion, he was carefully treading the water. Sure, be pissed-off every other second of the day…

"Sometimes! What would you think of a person who gives you death stares, 'you've fucked with me' looks. And then who calmly walks away after nearly fucking me into the lockers? What game are you playing? I refuse to participate. I'm done, I tap out," I slammed my hand against the seat. "You win, happy?"

"It's not a game," he said in the same inflection.

It nearly set me off again, but he was actually going to continue this time. I could feel it, the nervous energy coiled and finally broke.

"I wasn't aware of, well, shit!" The real Edward was back and better than ever. His eyes flashed, fury drowned whatever nervousness lingered. "I know that I have a tendency to glare at people," he was making an effort to calm himself down. "For you, it's… not what you think. You fucking confuse the shit out of me, you know that? You say I'm fucking difficult? What about you?"

Like a switch, one second calming down, the next an explosion of frustration. I called the emotion home and used it to fuel mine. "What the fuck about me?" Like a game of Pong, the energy was building with each pass. From him, to me, back to him; one of us would snap and soon. What was he talking about? I mentioned cowboys once, pirates maybe twice. In my point of view, that was a fucking record. I liked cartoons, what was the big fucking deal? A school teacher? What in hell did that mean? And my references weren't that outlandish, he could go and fuck himself.

"You all but fucking offer to screw me, then you cold shoulder me…"

"I've done no such thing!" How dare he blame me for teasing. Not with his 'kiss and bail' this morning. "You, need I repeat myself, were the one to walk the fuck away from me. You made it really damn clear that you wanted me, after I woke up in bed with you-"

I ignored him as he sighed sharply. I was speaking, he could fucking deal with it.

"You didn't even fucking kiss me goodbye when I was leaving." Okay, way to sound like an outraged girlfriend. Time to backtrack. "You disappeared! Yeah, you let me take your books, you made cigarettes for me, but then what? You didn't fucking call, I had to come find you twice." Less girlfriend, more shrew. I was okay with that. "I told you to meet me at lunch."

He told me to? I don't remember giving him that power over me.

"Bullshit! I know why you kissed me. You gave him the same look you gave me," talk about harassment. "Its pretty fucking obvious, but let me clear this up for you real quick. I fucking belong to nobody. I'm not having this territorial bullshit happen again." Damnit. Over-sharing. That hadn't been in any way relevant to our conversation. Maybe he wouldn't notice.

"You sure didn't seem to fucking mind me guarding your back at the hospital."

Of all the- below the fucking belt hit! Asshole!

"And what the fuck do you mean again?"

Perceptive fucking prick! Ignore it entirely, move on to the pressing matters. "I know nothing about you! You have my gratitude for the pot and alcohol. I've already thanked you for the help you showed me at the hospital." Good, set him up, watch him fall. Take away all of his leverage. "Why go to all that trouble if you're going to ignore me in public? Oh," I realized it immediately. I had been an idiot. "I know why."

"No, its not fucking like that," his eyes bore into mine. "I didn't do all of that just to fuck you. Bella... fuck! If I wanted to do that, I'd have done it already."

That's what he thought. No, I admitted, we probably would have were it not for his self-control. I had none when it came to him, though I was beginning to find some. There was nothing wrong with discretion. Sneaking around so no one found out, I didn't want to fuck him in dark closets or hunched down in the backseat of my truck. If he wanted to keep me a secret... I had heard it once or twice; mostly from guys who had a girlfriend and wanted to see me on the side. It broke my code, I never accepted or believed anything they said.

"I haven't used any lines on you," he snapped. "You want the world to know we're friends? Fine! Buy the fucking shirt! I'll wear it! I… I actually fucking like you, alright? So... shut the fuck up and calm down."

What? - wait. I really needed to take a deep breath. This was insane. Yelling at one another in the school parking lot, we weren't even friends, according to him. Why expend all of this energy? I lit another cigarette. I went over everything he'd said, to the best of my recollection. He was willing to be friends and he liked me? Was I supposed to throw a party? Strip down and take him now?

"You have a damn strange way of showing it," I said finally. His rage beat against mine, I stopped fighting it. Things calmed immediately. "So you like me, big deal. Try showing it, why don't you? I'll see you in Spanish class," I opened the door and stepped out. If his hoodie weren't keeping me warm, I'd have left it on the seat.

I wanted to punch a locker so hard I could feel my knuckles aching for contact. I didn't. Administration might call Dad. Being head of his branch, it'd be mortifying for him. Charlie Swan responding to a call regarding his daughter and school damage costs; he'd never live it down.