Chapter 11
Sora's eyes were glazed.
It was hard to pay attention to anything ever since he acquired the biggest victory of his life. He did it. He changed things. Obviously, he and Kairi weren't in a loving embrace right now, prematurely reciting their vows to each other, but it was a start. Riku, the biggest obstacle to Kairi's heart, was now out of the picture. The white-haired boy had a put a damper on things in the past, but no longer will he snuff out the special spark needed to light a fire in Kairi's heart.
And homecoming was the perfect tinder.
Sora looked down at a reprinted copy of the ballroom floor plans. The other ones were ruined, so they took a small trip down the paper shredder and any evidence of the future-past disappeared along with it. It was a new beginning and he could now finally live life the way he wanted to.
It was a long journey, but he made it.
"You're awfully obsessed with those floor plans." Sora looked up to see Kairi grinning at him. "Mind if I take a look at those?" she asked.
"Be my guest," he said, offering her the papers. They were the only ones in the Student Council room. All the jobs had been laid out, all the positions appointed, and all the tasks were assigned. The only thing left was for the actual event to happen. They still hung around at school for some last minute review. It was just a formality. Barring an unexpected meteor strike, homecoming was going to happen tomorrow.
Despite his experience, he was exhausted. Putting together the whole shindig was a journey in itself. It was nothing like his other projects, not like the girl's blitzball team. It was because he had a goal this time that he clearly wanted to achieve. There were still a few obstacles in the way. He and Kairi weren't going to homecoming together, but as co-workers. He had to make sure that by the night's end, they would be something more than co-workers or best friends, but as lovers.
He could already imagine it. Kairi would be tired from overseeing the dance but he would come in and take charge. After the event winded down, he would see how she was feeling and ask for a dance. As they twirled around the floor, she would lean her head against him and close her eyes. Then she'd confess what she'd be holding in this entire time:
"Sora, are you listening to me?"
Sora snapped back to reality and saw Kairi holding the floor plans back at him. "Uh…no?"
She giggled. "You can have these back now." She glanced around the room and sighed. "I think everything's done here! The only thing left is to make sure everybody does their job tomorrow. It should be fun!"
Sora leaned on his chair and smiled. "You excited?"
"Tomorrow can't come soon enough!"
He loved seeing her vibrate with so much energy. Her enthusiasm was starting to rub off on him. "Did you pick out a dress?" he asked casually.
"A dress? Why would I need a dress?" she laughed. "I have to run the dance, remember?"
"Um, that doesn't exactly preclude you from standard decorum," he informed. Did she think she was above the dress code?
"What do you mean?"
"Don't tell me you were seriously planning on wearing your uniform to the dance?" he asked incredulously.
"Nothing wrong with this," she disputed, pointing to her outfit. She really did look nice in it but…
"You make it look good, but not thatgood. Even wedding planners dress up for the weddings they plan. It's common decency."
Everything he said made perfect sense. There really was no getting around it.
"Crap, I'm gonna have to pick up a dress don't I?"
Sora gave a wide grin. "I know just the place."
They wound up where everything started, Fairy Godmother's Bridal. Sora treaded carefully, wondering if wormholes would unexpectedly pop up at any moment. Kairi was a bit bewildered by his behavior, but he had been acting weird ever since the car accident. She just chalked it up to post-accident jitters. They made it to the shop unscathed.
Kairi stood before the pane glass, admiring a shining white gossamer wedding dress. He saw this before. The image of an adult Kairi overlapped her, and he rubbed his eyes. "Let's head on in," he urged, trying to dispel the illusion.
She nodded back and followed him to the entrance.
The door opened with a ringing bell and a voice greeted them immediately.
"Kairi!" Ms. Fairy called out. "I was wondering when you would come. How can I help you dear?" Ms. Fairy looked the same as ever. Sora wondered if, after a certain age, you just adopt an eternally old appearance that doesn't change whether you're 60 or 80. She floated to the front of the shop in her purple robes. "I hear there is a little dance coming up, thanks to a Student Council president," she teased.
"It's nothing," Kairi said humbly.
Ms. Fairy smiled softly. "So how can I help you?"
"I just need something to," the redhead looked at Sora, "match decorum."
"Something nice I presume?" Ms. Fairy asked for further clarification.
"And loose around the legs, I'm probably going to be doing a lot of running," Kairi added.
Sora agreed whole-heartedly, anything that showed off her legs would be great.
"Elegant and simple then?" Ms. Fairy went towards the side and roamed over some racks and shelves. Sora and Kairi waited patiently for her to find something that would fit their needs. It took but a few moments before Ms. Fairy emerged from the piles of fabric with a plain dress that met the specifications. "Try this on."
Kairi grabbed the cloth and disappeared in the locker room.
Sora's eyes watched over a clock that hung on the wall. The second hand slowly ticked its way around the hash marks. It wasn't a smooth motion; it was the kind that would stutter after each second, with a quick stop and go. Time was slow. How long did it take to put on a dress?
"She's beautiful isn't she?" the old lady said out of the blue.
His first instinct was to feign ignorance. "Huh?"
"Kairi. You're quite lucky to be taking her out," she congratulated.
"Oh no, we're not going together or anything," he excused.
"That's not what your face says," she teased. "Look at this great grin you have! You're adorable!" The heat was rose to his cheeks. She was right though, he had been smiling ever since they got here.
The sound of the dressing room door caught their attention. Kairi stepped out and did a small twirl. "So how do I look?"
As great as Kairi looked (as always), Sora felt she could look even better, if that was even possible.
He stroked his chin and shook his head disapprovingly. "Come on Kairi, wasn't it you who said we should go all out? Ms. Fairy, you think you could pull something less...conservative?"
"I think I have something to suit your taste, Sora." This time, Ms. Fairy disappeared in the back.
"Your taste?" Kairi repeated.
Sora looked back and shrugged.
Ms. Fairy finally returned and showed off a dress they had never seen before. "How is this?"
Who knew that in a shop innocuously named Fairy Godmother's Bridal would there be a dress as contemporary as the one Ms. Fairy was holding up? It was a pink halter short dress with a single black lace shoulder strap. The star-patterned black lace and tulle skirt provided an appreciable amount of formality, though the cocktail length and low neckline also spiced things up.
He really wanted to see how Kairi would look in it.
"Try it on," he suggested.
She looked hesitant but gave in. "Only because you asked." Once she came out, Sora clapped and whistled, much to her embarrassment.
"You look great!" He truly meant it. While he admired the amount of skin it showed off, it was just very emblematic of her personality. She was breezy, sassy, hard working, and classy. Most importantly, she was beautiful.
She struck a pose. "Do you mean it?"
"I love it," he admitted.
His compliment made her really happy.
"It's a wrap," Kairi told Ms. Fairy.
"Excellent!" The shop owner turned to Sora. "What about you dear? I also have tuxedos."
He looked down at his arm, still encased in hard plastic. "You got anything that can accommodate a cast?"
They finally acquired the necessary trimmings for tomorrow's event. They walked out with plastic sheets, velvet fabric, and metal coat hangers. They were laughing and joking about each other's outfits. As Sora stepped outside the store, he stopped to stare at the road.
"Is something wrong?" Kairi asked.
He looked over the road carefully, remembering the fateful event that sent him hurling back in time. The asphalt was blacker and little cleaner now. He strained his ears for any bike bells, but was happy to see that nothing could ruin this moment.
"No, it's just my imagination." As long as he didn't walk on the road, he was fine. Unless a drunk driver came careening into the sidewalk—lets not jinx it. "Let's just hurry up and get outta here."
He wasn't about to tempt fate again.
Homecoming.
It was when everything had changed. It was where Riku sealed the deal. This time, Sora would be the one doing the sealing, hopefully with his lips. Before he could daydream about the night, he had to make sure everything was in order first. The day had arrived, and he was inspecting the ballroom to make sure that every detail was just right.
When it came to decor, he enlisted his mother's services. The best part? She did it free of charge, which pleased Kairi very much. He explored the interior of the ballroom and observed the floral arrangements that lined the walls and wood pillars. They accentuated the flowing nature of the architecture and gave off a wonderful fresh scent. With just a few well-placed flowers, the already beautiful ballroom was transformed into a majestic one. Drapes swam on the walls like ocean waves and the high ceilings glittered with shining stars. The Student Council really outdid themselves when it came to the decorations.
He walked over the gleaming floors and towards the window. He looked outside and saw the beach swarming with visitors and tourists. It was only hours before the hall would open and the main event would start.
"It really is a beautiful view," Kairi commented, coming in close and standing beside him. "How did you know about this place?"
"I help my mom out sometimes. The hotel is a repeat customer, they love her work," he explained. He noticed she was still in her uniform. "I see you're not dressed yet."
"You too," she shot back.
"It's not game time yet," he excused. "And it only takes me ten minutes max, to get dressed. I mean the cast is a bit annoying, but compared to you, lets just say girls take forever."
"When have you ever seen me as the kind of girl who wears dresses?" she chuckled. "I'd like to remain functional for at least another hour. I can already foresee sore feet tomorrow."
"A deadly premonition," he joked. Certainly not as his deadly as his though. "The things girls do just to look nice."
"You're lucky to be a boy," she laughed.
They bantered for a while longer before they went their separate ways.
He walked around the floor and made sure that people were in the appropriate places. Pence was stationed at the photo booth, ready to take pictures, and Hayner was tasting the food to make sure that none of it "was poisoned." It was just the waiting game now.
Security?
Check.
Food?
Check.
Lights?
Check.
Tuxedo?
Check.
Sora observed himself in the mirror and smiled. His mind flashed back to the photo Kairi showed him, the image of the last time he truly smiled. These days, it was rare when he wasn't smiling. He ran his hand through his hair, causing his brunet spikes to bounce softly. He looked down at his cast, reading the words Riku's had written months ago.
When are you going to ask her out? –Your pal Riku.
His answer?
Tonight.
Tonight was the night! He exited the bathroom and peeked around. The sun was setting far off in the distance, casting the ocean into a glittering frenzy of orange and yellow. The grand hall was dimming by the minute. It was almost time for the gates to open. He made his way to the entrance, where Kairi stood nervously.
"You look beautiful," he said as he approached her. She had switched into her dress, which fit her perfectly.
"Sora." She stopped to look over his threads. "You're handsome as well." She turned back to the entrance. "Take a look at all these people!"
He peered over her head and saw a huge crowd outside. It coursed with excitement and anticipation, almost as if a riot would break out soon. "Looks like we did a great job with the marketing. I don't think the council's seen a turnout like this in years," he commented.
"Didn't you handle all the marketing?" she asked.
"It was a team effort."
"Modest aren't you?" she laughed back.
"I think its time to open the doors."
So he did.
The crowd almost engulfed him. It was a whirlwind of bodies rushing past him. The crowd dispersed, fanned out, and reached all corners of the room. The bright lights dimmed to cultivate the intimate atmosphere that was a requirement at events such as these. The sound system blared to life, wringing out slick sounds and music. The DJ was a pro and read the crowd well. He applied the right beats at the right moments, ensuring that music would be at the bottom of list titled "complaints."
Kairi flit to and fro like a hummingbird with a clipboard in hand, making sure that her first act as president would make an impression on the student body. It was rare that a girl could work hard and look good while doing it. Sora followed her around with his eyes and checked the time on his phone. It had only been twenty minutes since opening but it felt like an eternity. He was still waiting for that moment when she would just relax and take a break.
His mind operated on two planes.
On one hand, he had to deal with event preparation. They were trying to clear a space for the announcement of homecoming king and queen. He didn't handle the voting aspect, so he had no clue who won. They tallied the votes and he heard that it was a close call between Tidus and Riku for king. Their blitzball heroics single-handedly revived Destiny High's hopes for another championship, so it was no surprise they were on top of the short list.
The other part of his mind kept imagining how he would play the situation with Kairi. Though he had a vague idea, an amorphous shape of the entire encounter in his head, he couldn't pin down the exact words he was going to say. He was probably going to play it by ear, go with the flow, and tell her straight from the heart what he'd always wanted to say.
Couldn't time just speed up already?
"Hey Sora!" a voice called, it was Demyx. He was the go-to man when it came to MC and announcer jobs in the past, so he was enlisted for homecoming. Why mess with tradition? "Things are going to start soon!"
"Is your mic ready?" the VP asked back.
The blond nodded back and pulled up the mic. "We're ready for show time!" he grinned.
Sora went to the necessary technicians and told them to start the lights and get the ball rolling.
Demyx erupted on to the stage with his offbeat style of speech and pulled every eye in the room on him. He basked in the attention. "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Homecomiinnngggg! This is the main event, what you've all been waiting for, the unveiling of the homecoming king and queen! But before that, we have a special message from the lady who put this entire event together. Give it up for your temporary Student Council president, Kairiiii!"
Sora watched from the side, smiling at Demyx's exaggerated introductions.
"Sora!" a voice greeted. It was Riku. "I see you're here, even with the arm," he observed.
"I still gotta take care of business," Sora replied, smiling back. "Who are you here with?"
"I'm staggin' it. It's working out pretty well for me actually. How about you? Make your move yet?" Riku turned to Kairi onstage, who was spilling out her heartfelt thanks to the student body.
"I'm still waiting for the right moment."
Riku laughed. "The only right moment is now." He looked at Sora, who was beaming at Kairi's presence onstage. "You knew, didn't you?"
Sora snapped to his friend. "Knew what?"
"That she'd say no to me after the homecoming game," he laughed. "You won."
"It's not a game," Sora rebutted.
"Even if its not, I still feel like I lost."
Sora gave him an odd gaze.
"I know she'll be happy with you," Riku offered, "congratulations."
It was weird being on the receiving end of the congratulations, especially when he hadn't even gotten the girl yet. Sora felt sorry for his friend, but Riku would be able to handle it. He had natural talent and good looks, and it was only a matter of time before another girl would throw herself at him. Riku would be fine.
Sora was thrown out of his revelry when the spotlight hit him. He squinted and wondered what was going on.
"I'd like to thank the Vice President, Sora Hikari, the true mastermind behind the entire event. It is all thanks to him that we could hold this dance in this beautiful ballroom tonight."
The crowd erupted in applause, an almost deafening roar of rolling thunder crackling all around him. It was the girl's blitzball team all over again.
"Do you have anything to say Sora?" Kairi asked on the mic.
Sora shook his head.
"Look how he humble he is! Another round of applause."
Sora smiled tiredly and decided to bask in their adoration, raising his hands in triumph.
"Alright, I'm going to hand the mic back to Demyx so that you can find out who this year's homecoming king and queen are!" The crowd whooped and cheered as Kairi got down from the stage and made a beeline to the Vice President. "So, how did you like my speech?" she asked him.
"At least you knew where all credit is due," he joked back.
She punched him in the arm. "Funny guy."
"Need I remind you about—"
"I know, I know, violence, violence. I didn't even hit you that hard, it wouldn't such a problem if you weren't so weak!" she ridiculed.
"I'm the one with his arm in a cast," he stated.
"I'm gonna go check on the king and queen. Relax and enjoy the show."
"That's my line," he shot back.
She smiled in return.
Things had been turning out wonderful. He could feel the tension in the air. He looked around at the students. They all seemed to be very excited and on edge. How many of them were planning on this night being the night where everything would change? How many schemes, plans, and hopes hinged on this event? How many crushes, infatuations, and loves would spring to life tonight? Or die by tonight? This was what school was about: learning, success, failure, hard lessons, living life, making mistakes, and learning from them, to grow from our experiences, and to make unique memories that we can fall back on for the rest of our lives.
He walked towards the catering table and poured himself a cup of fruit punch. He sure hoped it wasn't spiked. He downed it and tasted nothing but fruity deliciousness. Excellent.
"As for your new homecoming king and queen, I'd like all of you to give a big round of applause for Tidus and Selphie!"
The crowd went into another fit of cacophony. The sound of pounding footsteps, clapping hands, and jingling plates formed a surreal symphony of delight. The students were really into it.
"Now let's get dancing!"
A circle widened around the homecoming king and queen as they danced, with admiring gazes surrounding them. After the initial slow dance was over, the DJ kicked things into high gear and went to town on the turntable. The air was charged with excitement and gaiety. As far as the itinerary went, there was nothing left but music and dancing. Kairi should be done by now.
He searched around the room, looking past dancers, couples, and well-dressed teenagers for any sign of the prez. He dove into the mess, into writhing scores of booty shakers and human robots. The dim lighting, loud noises, and throngs of moving bodies didn't make conditions ideal for searching.
After a lot of hollering, cases of mistaken identity, and apologies, he finally spotted her by the window. She was alone, nursing a cup of fruit punch.
Perfect.
This was it.
Those ten years of imagined misery shall be banished forever, sent to the same pitiful dark void that almost engulfed him so long ago.
Goodbye misery.
And hello happiness.
He stalked his way over, shifting his body sideways to get close to the girl, and sidestepped his away around human obstacles. The closer he got, the denser the crowd became. It was almost as if fate was trying to slow him down.
Screw you fate!
He wasn't going to sit back and get owned again. Not this time. He struggled, as if disentangling himself from sticky tar, trying to tear himself away from tough webbing.
Almost there.
So close.
"Urk!"
He felt a hand clasp his shoulder and pull him backwards. The small opening to Kairi closed like the Red Sea after Moses was finished. The pull was awfully strong, and he felt himself fly backwards. The hand let go, causing him to fall on his back. Who dared to get in his way? Was it Riku? He stood up and turned around to let out a storm of cusses but was shocked to see the person in front of him.
"Naminé? What are you—"
"I look beautiful, I know," she smirked. She really did, she looked almost…angelic. He didn't know if his eyes were playing tricks on him or if she was actually glowing. She wore a simple white dress that seemed to float on her. She wasn't wearing her glasses, allowing her face to radiate a purity that was so bright, it was blinding.
"Who are you here with?" he asked quickly. He had to get her off his case. He was on a mission here, and he couldn't afford distractions.
"What kind of question is that? I'm with you silly." He could never figure Naminé out. She was too weird.
"I never asked you—"
"That doesn't matter," she interrupted. She held on to his arm and began leading the way, "Since you're here, I'm here. Now we just need to find a nice and quiet place."
He tried to pry her hand off but it was an extremely strong grip. Her delicate appearance betrayed enormous strength. How was he getting manhandled by a girl a head shorter than him? Despite his best attempts, he had no choice but to be pulled around like a sack of potatoes around the dance floor. She led him through the crowd, swerving, making sudden twists and turns, disorienting him. Even though he memorized the floor plans, he got lost quickly. The sights, sounds, and smells assaulted him mercilessly.
He closed his eyes, feeling the air currents rush over him until Naminé finally stopped. He opened them to find that they were in…the janitor's closet?
Shelves upon shelves of linen surrounded them. The lemon scent of detergent filled his nostrils. Only one light was on, and it cast an eerie glow on the blonde holding him down.
"What are we doing in here?" he asked loudly.
Naminé gripped his shoulders, keeping him in place against the wall. He couldn't even move. "Nothing you would expect. Sora. I know what you're thinking," she stated, smiling.
"That what, we're going to kiss?" he joked.
"Wouldn't you like to?" she teased, putting her face exceptionally close to him. What was going on? He didn't like Naminé! He was supposed to be with Kairi.
"Let me go Naminé. I don't like you okay?"
She cackled gleefully. "Who said I liked you? I know what you're thinking Sora," she repeated. "But I can't let you do it."
"What are you talking about?" he yelled back.
Anger captured her face, distorting her heavenly features into a hellish expression. "I'm talking about everything of course! I'm talking about Kairi!" she screamed.
Sora could only stare at the sudden shift in personality. "What do you know about her?"
She turned back into an angel. "Everything. As much as you do in fact, and I know that if you approach Kairi tonight, you will never be able to come back." Her eyes were hard and left no room for debate.
"Come back to what?" he prodded.
A devilish grin painted itself on her face. "What? Don't tell me you haven't figured it out yet? Are you that dense or are you just willfully blind?" she accused.
He had no idea what she was talking about. What was he missing here? "Tell me."
"This isn't real."
The moment the words left her mouth, the room began to spin. The linen sheets were swirling around like the inside of a washing machine. I—
I...
I?
I finally...
I finally recognized myself.
I looked around, seeing the world stare back at me. Naminé's eyes bore into me, acknowledging an unspoken suspicion that skimmed on the surface of consciousness. My heart sped up by few notches and adrenaline started flowing through my body, numbing my fingers. A dull pitch began to ring in my ear drums.
"None of this is," she added, her voice echoing. "Can't you see the signs? Why do you think that I was the only one in the Student Council? Why do you think the room was always empty before you came along? Why is your arm always broken? Why does everything seem to work out just fine for you?" The questions flew at me like a barrage, and I was helpless to deflect it.
"It's because I know everything that's going to happen before it does," I screamed desperately. Obviously, because if I already knew what was going to happen, then it meant that I change things for the better!
"No, because it's your imagination Sora. You're creating everything as it goes along. You're just too blind to notice. Why did you take that gamble? Why did you let Riku ask her out again?" she threw at me.
"Because I had to see if I had really changed, changed enough for Kairi to notice!"
"Wrong! It's because you already knew the result. There was no way she was ever going to go out with Riku because you made her reject him! Can't you see what's happening? Or are you too obsessed with her? With you, it's Kairi this, Kairi that, everything you do revolves around her!" she spat out. She was right. Everything did revolve around her, but so what? She was my path to happiness!
"That's because she's everything to me! Isn't that obvious?" I yelled out.
Her grip was firm. It was the only thing holding me up.
"Look at you." She looked disgusted. "The you now is worst than the previous you. What happened to all those friends you made? You've totally ignored them this time around. Yuffie will never get to play blitzball. Olette would never break out as a writer. All those people that you've helped—you've abandoned them, all because you're running away, again."
"The only reason I became their friends was because I abandoned Riku and Kairi! I'm not abandoning them this time!" I pleaded desperately. Couldn't she see that I was trying my best here?
"What do you think will happen after you get her? After you confess your love and capture her lips? Happily ever after?"
"That's the plan!"
She looked at me with a sorrowful gaze. Something didn't add up.
"Why is it you then? Why you Naminé?"
"Who knows? Maybe because you never knew me in high school. Maybe because I'm the last person you saw from Destiny High. But you put me here for one reason Sora, and that is to bring you back."
"Back to what? A life where nothing is gained? A life where the last ten years of my life are wasted?"
"It's not a waste Sora. Think of the people you've helped, think of the books you've written, think of the person you are now!" she ordered.
"No! I can't go back to that!" I finally summoned the strength to push her off me and I bolted for the doorway.
"Don't go to her Sora! If you do, it'll be too late!" Her voice disappeared behind me.
I ran through the hall, trying to find my way back to the ballroom. The hallway looked the same everywhere. Doors upon doors stretched the infinity. I couldn't find it!
I ran through the hall, searching for a familiar door, anything! I went from to door to door, jostling the knobs for any give. I found a set of double doors and burst through. I stood before a set of stairs.
I decided to run up, run as fast as I could, far away from Naminé, far away from her paranoid delusions. The stairs were nothing but a blur until I found myself breathing fresh air on the rooftop of the Galbadia. I rushed to the edge and looked down, the vertigo restoring my sense of balance. I leaned back and fell, my eyes settling on the night sky.
It was a starry night.
I always had a sneaking suspicion that everything wasn't real but I just didn't want to believe it. Could this all be just a dream? No, this was real goddamnit! I slammed my hand against the rooftop, the sting of pain throbbing against my palm. This pain was real. It had to be. I clenched my eyes shut and probed beneath my eyelids for the truth. Was I really ignoring the signs? Had my obsession with Kairi blinded me to the real truth? Did I not make sure that everything was perfect?
Where was the truth?
Where?
…
"That's quite alright. We must all recognize that we have to return to the real world one day."
…
But this wasthe real world. I had returned to it. The old world was the fake one. How could I have pined for the same girl for ten entire years? That was the lie, the fiction! In those ten years, wouldn't I have gotten over her? Why would I still be in love with her? It was just a set up to a bad story. What would happen next? He goes to the wedding, confesses his love, and they run off together towards the sunset? Happily ever after? No, that was the fake world. This was way more real than that nonsense!
…
"Sometimes, it's no use fixin' up an old bird. You gotta let go, and throw it in the scrap heap."
…
That was right. My old reality was beyond fixing, that was why I had to discard it. I'm here now. Unless…I'm trying to fix things now…was this world my attempt to fix things? Am I supposed to throw all of this away into the scrap heap?
…
Everything was meticulously recreated in perfect detail, at least as perfectly as his unreliable memory could reproduce.
…
It was always about the details: the small things. It was one of the reasons my books did so well. I was very good at creating my worlds. Could I have done the same for this…? Was this why everything was so perfect? Time flowed normally, day and night came like expected, everybody acted just as they did…was it because my mind wanted everything to be as realistic as possible?
…
The flashbacks were becoming more frequent whenever he tried to go to sleep. His dreams weren't really dreams; they were more like memories.
…
Every time I went to sleep…it was always a memory from that past. Was it because…I'm already dreaming?
…
"Silly. Didn't I tell you? The moment you joined the council, I was no longer needed."
…
I never knew Naminé. I didn't know her personality, how she acted, or how she would react. Was that why…no. It couldn't just be my imagination, was it?
…
"There have been a variety of cases where men who have been in a coma for as many as fifteen years wake up, feeling as if they just took a nap. Similarly, there have been cases where patients who were gone for only a few minutes report that they've experienced entire lifetimes. It seems that yours is the latter case."
…
Could I be in a hospital bed right now? Could Kairi and Riku be outside, marrying why I lay unconscious, oblivious to everything?
…
"No, because it's your imagination Sora. You're creating everything as it goes along."
…
Is my subconscious really crafting every detail, every plot point, and every major scene in this story?
…
In order to write a story, you have to lose a bit of sanity.
Sora knew this.
But he did it anyways.
What else could he do?
…
…
…
I couldn't stop myself laughing.
This entire time…I've been writing this story, the perfect story for me. This was my path to redemption, to correct everything that was wrong with my life. This was my attempt to fix things, the things in my life that had fallen apart in reality. With an imagination, I could trick myself for as long as I wanted. I'm an author. It was my job to create stories, characters, settings, and entire worlds.
This reality was…fake. I created it, all to satisfy my hopes and dreams that would never come true.
But so what?
Why go back to the real world? Here, I had a chance to be happy, an endless bliss with Kairi, the life that I've always wanted. Why should I give up on this mental paradise when the real world was harsh, unrelenting, and unforgiving? Why would I want to return to that?
What if…Naminé was the lie? What if she was the figment of my imagination? A product of massive delusions? For all I know, my mind was toying with me!
No…
My subconscious knew the truth. Everything that had happened so far had been too perfect. Every event I created, I made from memory.
Kairi…
Mom…
Riku…
Axel…
Yuffie…
Ansem…
…and Naminé.
Things were real, but they weren't.
I was just using the future to reconstruct my past.
I pulled myself to my feet and grasped the railing. I watched the night ocean waves curl underneath the moonlight. The sea rippled and dappled with light, a glowing and ethereal fire works show on the water's surface. I've never seen something so beautiful before…like an image out of my own mind.
I've created this world.
I've written this story.
I've made this…paradox.
…
"What would you do if you were stuck on these stairs?" she pondered.
…
"Maybe, but when you're desperate, what else are you going to do? Sometimes the only thing you can do is…jump."
…
Was that the only way out of here?
To jump?
Was that the real answer?
To make that leap of faith and miraculously return to the real world?
I looked down at the edge of the hotel. The wind blew fiercely against my face, my spikes dancing wildly in the wind. I was scared. Why wouldn't I be? I still had doubts. If this world was real, wouldn't I be killing myself? I gripped the railing tighter, the sweat greasing my palms.
Here I was, standing on top of the Galbadia Hotel. This probably wasn't the greatest idea I've had in awhile, but it seemed like the only option. Was this how people felt before they go and off themselves? The feeling that everything was fake?
It really was a luxury, to be a prisoner of your own mind. Even if you're a prisoner in paradise, it still didn't change the fact that I was still a prisoner. True freedom was the ability to make your own mistakes and messes, and deciding whether or not to clean up after yourself.
All my life, I've refused to acknowledge my own past.
It was time to clean up.
"Sora!" Somehow, I had expected that. If this really was my own subconscious, surely a part of me wanted me to remain here. I turned around to see Kairi. Her dress was even more beautiful under the haunting moonlight. What a goddess. How could a single girl be so perfect?
"You must really like roofs huh? What are you doing? You should be at the dance," she told me.
"That's my line. You're supposed to be in charge," I answered back. How would my mind excuse her presence here now?
"I got a report that somebody ran up the stairs, you're not supposed to be here you know."
I fell against the railing and watched as she approached closer.
"That's just like you, to look out for everybody," I said. It was how I remembered her, as caring, thoughtful, and warm.
"Is something wrong?" she asked. She closed in on me and crouched down, putting her face close to mine.
"Yeah," I replied. "This. Everything. None of this is real. Everything here is just a figment of my imagination, including you."
Her face crinkled in worry for a moment, but then relaxed. "I think I understand how you feel." She did? "I've been asking myself the same question a lot lately. Can you guess what it is?"
I shook my head. I had no clue.
"I ask myself," she started, "Is this real? I almost lost you Sora. When I heard that you were in the hospital, it was the first time in my life I felt truly scared. When you woke up, I felt so relieved." Her eyes became glassy. "But…something about that accident changed you Sora. I couldn't figure it out. It was almost as if…you were ahead of me. I've always looked after you but now...it's like you're the one looking after me."
I smiled at that.
"Before I knew it, I started to rely on you. I wondered if you were always like this and I just never realized…or if I just never gave you a chance to stand on your own. I think about you a lot you know. And I…"
"Kairi…how do you feel about me?" I asked plainly.
"I…when Riku asked me out, I didn't say 'no' because I'd be busy with the homecoming dance, the only reason I said 'no' was because of you Sora. I…"
She…?
"I love you Sora."
How long have I waited to hear those words? Giddiness began to spread from inside by body. I could feel tears leaking from my eyes. Ten years…for that.
"I love you too Kairi," I said. It was what I've always wanted to say to her, but I never had the courage to do so.
She hugged me, wrapping her arms around my body. She felt warm, soft, and nice. I held on to her, to my dream, to my wish, to my hope that could only be realized in a story that I wrote. She pulled back and looked at me with her beautiful gaze, filled with love. She wanted to kiss me.
"…if you approach Kairi tonight, you will never be able to come back."
"This isn't real," I said, lightly pushing her away. She furrowed her brow, disappointment filling her eyes.
"What are you talking about Sora?"
I laughed at the situation. Everything was just too perfect. "None of this real, Kairi. You aren't real. You're just telling me what I want to hear, to keep me in this dream prison forever."
"You're scaring me Sora."
"I'm scaring myself right now. Everything feels so real that it's impossible for me to believe otherwise, but what's even more impossible is this situation right now. You and me, alone on the rooftop of a beautiful hotel, under a starry sky. It sounds exactly like a scene out of my book," I explained.
"How can you say this isn't real? Kiss me," she ordered. "Kiss me and then tell me that this isn't real."
I got up to my feet and turned to her. I hugged her tight, feeling her body close to mine, taking in her scent, and intoxicating myself with her presence. I pulled back and stared at her inviting lips.
It was the kiss of death.
I could seal myself in paradise with one kiss with the girl that I've only been in love with my entire life…or I could go back to a horrid life of self-loathing where said love of my life was marrying someone else.
The choice was obvious.
She closed in on me but I turned at the last second.
"Why Sora? Don't you love me?"
I smiled sadly as I gazed into her tear-stained eyes.
"It's because I love you, that I have to do this."
I pushed her off me and she fell to the ground.
I turned to the railing and put my feet on it.
"No, Sora, what are you doing? Don't do it! You're going to die if you jump!"
I closed my eyes, reciting the only mantra that could get me through this.
This wasn't real.
This wasn't real.
THIS WASN'T REAL!
"SORA, DON'T!"
Too late.
I fell over.
The deafening wind screamed past my face.
My heart sped up, almost beating itself off my chest.
In only a few moments, I would be best friends with the sand below.
I closed my eyes.
Braced myself for impact.
And I—
