"Doorbell mommy." Alice said under my chin as I held her, the both of us watching the movie on the screen but I wasn't listening to the TV. Emmett's ears perked up when he heard the doorbell and he looked over as well, waiting for a command from me. I was focusing on the little girl in my arms, feeling her soft skin against my own and breathing in her hair. Those factors brought me back to reality, they silently let me know that I wasn't crazy.
After that job Cobb told me to rest, and after Eames took me back to the flat I was living in I sobbed into my pillow. Never in my whole life did I feel so exposed and vulnerable, all because of a projection of a shade, a woman who was dead and lone gone. I never thought it would go that far, hearing her place lies in my head that made me go crazy. She called me crazy, or on the verge or being crazy. I knew I wasn't, but she did have a point. My mind would be occupied with the theory that I wasn't going to ever me good enough for Arthur, never enough. How dare she say such a thing to me.
I do remember times at which Eames and Cobb would come over as I slept in the bed, trying to get it out of my bed. I was too shaken to try another job, let alone try and manipulate another person. Eames was livid to say the least, after seeing me have my breakdown in the bathroom and taking me home he gave a piece of his mind to Cobb.
"She needs a break." Eames said aloud in a low tone, the both of them outside my room and thinking I was still asleep in my own nightmare. But I was wide awake, sitting up and trying to not say a word as I heard their conversation.
"We can't afford a break. The mark is about to be fully exposed for us to get him-" Cobb started aloud to him, trying to stay calm.
"She had a bloody meltdown, all because of Mal telling her something about Arthur." Eames said in a hiss, and I heard silence coming from Cobb. He hated it when Mal was brought into a conversation, but it was truth.
"Georgie was never one to have her emotions on her sleeve, you and I both know that. But Mal made her snap and almost go down the same road as her. The last thing we are going to do is make her go back and see Mal again, because now we know that Mal is not only after you but her." Eames explained aloud to him and I rang my fingers through my hair, "I'm not going to let her go back and get bloody killed."
"I don't want that for her either." Cobb said aloud in a low tone of protest.
"But now you're seeing the gravity of this job. It's not only affecting our mark, but all of us. Arthur was shot, I was almost killed walking down the street, and Georgie had a meltdown from your dead wife. She is going to rest." The last part of his rant sounded more of a command Cobb would give than he would. Cobb was silent then as I closed my eyes, hearing Mal's voice in my head again.
I know you'll crack, like me
"I'll get it sweetie, stay here with Emmett." I said to her, kissing her hair as I placed her on the couch from my lap. I walked over to the front door, seeing as I passed a mirror that my hair was a mess and I was wearing sweats and a old college shirt. I opened the door, hearing the TV was still on and Alice was still sitting on the couch, her knees brought to her chest and her chin resting on her knees.
Cobb stood there, his hands in his pockets and seriousness in his eyes. I didn't smile, but neither did I give him the stink eye or the glare of death. I only stood there, staring at him and nodding at him once.
"I came to check up on you." Cobb said aloud, and I looked back at Alice, seeing she was still watching her movie. I silently walked out of the apartment and closed the door, making sure it was unlocked. I crossed my arms in front of him and he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
"I'm sorry, Georgie." He said aloud in a softer tone to me, and I looked at his eyes seeing that he was rather sad about what was going on with me. But I shook my head at his remark.
"This wasn't your fault." I said to him in a soft tone, but he shook his head back at me.
"Yes it was, I let her get so dangerous in the dreams we would have that I had no idea that it was going to affect anyone else on the team except me." Cobb explained to me, "I never thought she would come after you, after what happened before five years ago. I was too focused on the job that I wasn't seeing that my team was getting the other half of the danger."
"We all knew the dangers going into this job, Cobb. Going into every job even." I countered back at him, but I could tell he wasn't buying it.
"This isn't the type of danger that we should be encountering." Cobb said to me, and I heard him sigh, still seeming a bit hurt at what was going on, "It's partially my fault for all of this. If I didn't want us to get back at the mark who tried to kill us once, then Arthur wouldn't be in the hospital and you won't be in like this."
"Arthur wouldn't of been shot either way, our mark doesn't know it's us Cobb and we had ran instead of doing this in retaliation, we all would of been dead within weeks to days. We had no choice." I explained to him, leaning back against the wall as I remember Arthur telling me the exact same thing some time before, after the break in at our old home in America.
"I came here to let you know that we're going to get our mark within a week's time. Eames, Caleb and I are going to go ahead and go after his wife tonight." Cobb explained to me and I nodded my head, knowing that if I tried to say I could do it he would shoot me down.
"And since Arthur is going to be coming out of the hospital tomorrow morning, I think you two can take a breather and get ready for the last big job." Cobb said to me. Once agin I nodded my head. Cobb was going to let me breathe away from a job, he was trying to protect me from Mal.
Thank god for Cob.
Alice was asleep that night in her bed, sucking her fingers as she would from a nervous habit. I was finishing cleaning the plates we used for the dinner that night, rubbing the back of my neck in the process and trying to keep my mind occupied. I hated having Mal in my head, and I hated hearing her voice in my head even worse. How long was it going to take for me to be able to forget her? Weeks? Months? Years even?
I was too worried about Mal, too much into my own thoughts to hear the door opening and closing. I finished placing the last plate in the dishwasher and closing it, rubbing my hands on the towel and then turning around, hearing myself scream slightly and jump from what was in front of me. I was sure I was dreaming, since the last few days were nothing but numbness and doubt, but how could I be dreaming when I felt water on my skin from the sink and the heater kicking in from above me in the vents. I wasn't dreaming, and Arthur was there in front of me with his bags in his hands.
I was frozen in my spot, thinking I was back in the dream world again and this was a nasty trick of the mind. But he was there in front of me, his beautiful eyes that made me fall in love with him were pouring into my own. As soon as I looked at him from turning around, his dropped his bags and they fell to the floor. I knew then this was real from hearing the bags fall to the floor and seeing how wide his eyes were. It was like we were meeting for the first time all over again.
"Arthur." I only replied aloud, not being able to say anything more as he rushed over and hugged me, his arms around me and one hand cradling my neck. I clung onto him tightly, just to make myself sure that he was real this wasn't a trick of the mind. I felt tears coming from inside of me, and I thought my tears were long gone from the other nights of going insane.
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." I said into his shirt, trying to sound strong for him but it came out in a choked sob. He shook his head and held my head in his hands, his hands framing my hands gently and having me look in his eyes and I could see all of his emotions there, completely evident for me to sink my own emotions into. He pressed his lips against mine, and I could tell he was trying to be serious about this from the pressure I was feeling of his lips against mine. He held it there for a solid minute, making me glad that he was home and finally back to me.
I clutched his jacket in my hands, trying hoping that he was in fact real. He pulled away and rested his head against mine, one of his hands on my neck and the other going to my lower back, holding me close to him. I could breathe in the scent of the hospital that was still on him, I hated that smell. I was so used to it since he was there recovering, but I wanted his old scent back, Old Spice and a hint of rain.
"It's okay, Georgie, it's going to be okay." Arthur whispered to me softly. having me close my eyes and feel a tear roll down my cheek. I was glad to hear his voice again, the same voice that not only gave me chills of excitement and pleasure, but also gave me peace and sanity. I felt his thumb wipping away the tear that was now on my jawline and I still held him close.
"I won't let her get to you, you understand me?" Arthur said to me, having me open my eyes and stare at him. He then smiled slightly, and I felt my heart warm up instantly from seeing that smile on his face. I nodded my head again, still trying to find my words and not sound like a idiot. But it was hard, since I was seeing Mal in my head and I felt like I was going to crack like her. Arthur rubbed my back in such a soothing notion I almost let out a gasp at how good it felt to feel his skin against me once more.
"How did you know about Mal?" I asked him aloud in wonder.
"Eames told me right after you finished the job. I wanted to come home sooner and check on you, but the hospital wouldn't let me. Eames reassure me that he would keep an eye on you." Arthur explained to me as I took in a deep breath, trying to compose myself once more.
"Come on, let's sit down okay?" Arthur said to me aloud in a suggesting tone. I nodded my head and he smiled, still holding me close as we walked over to the bigger couch. We both sat down and I felt him rubbing my arms in a soothing tone, almost as if he was trying to get me to fall asleep. I didn't want to then, in fear that I would wake up from a cruel dream.
"She told me that I was going to crack, like her." I explained to him in a hushed tone, seeing him stare at me the whole time as I spoke, "At fist I ignored her saying that, but she brought you into the conversation and I got so...angry. She had no right to talk about you like that."
"Mal was never one to back down from a confrontation, even when she was alive." Arthur said to me, "but I didn't think she would take it that far."
"She was under the assumption that I was weak." I said aloud as well, feeling his hands on my arms still and one leaving my arm. That hand was now on my cheek, having me look at him directly from looking at the floor with some sadness in my eyes. I was never one to let the notion of being weak haunt me, but it was at that moment.
"You, Georgie, are not weak." Arthur said in a low tone, making me feel my heart ache for him, "You're so strong, and clear evidence of that is on your back. You kept fighting after taking a bullet, and I can't think of anyone else doing that. Mal is wrong, you're not her."
I was so glad to have Arthur in front of me again, just seeing his face and hearing his voice was making everything go back to normal. So I leaned in a kissed him square on the lips, feeling a arm go around me and pull me close to him. I was so close to his own body that I had to straddle him on the couch, but who was I was say no to that? I rested one hand on his neck as the other against the back of the couch to keep myself up as one of his hands rested on my thigh, giving me shivers.
Our kisses were at first soft and gentle, but as we kissed more and more, the intensity and passion starting fueling our kisses. At one moment, after Arthur slipping off his jacket and I took off my jacket, throwing it to the floor, he groaned as I kissed him deeply. He pulled away slightly and I felt him smile against my lips. I stayed close to him, not wanting to let him go just yet.
"You drive me insane, you know that?" He asked me in a hushed tone, and I smiled, sneaking in another kiss on his lips.
"You do as well." I replied back to him in a murmur and we resumed our kissing. My fear of being crazy was far gone, now that Arthur was well again and back in my life. His absence made me less of a professional thief and person and more of a vulnerable organism, ready to die at the slightest touch. Arthur was my world, my life, and all that I needed, along with our daughter Alice.
I was sane when we kissed out way into the bedroom, myself having my legs wrapped around his waist and his arms holding me close and never letting me go. His hold on me was possessive, as if he would snap if another being came and tried to touch me. But I knew he loved me when he placed me on the bed gently and hovered over me, kissing my neck and jaw delicately and making me gasp.
I was sane when I stripped off his shirt and saw the wound, still healing but not as harsh as before. So I kissed it, hearing him breathe in a shallow breath, showing that it was affecting him in a lustful way. There was a scar there, reminding me silently what I went through years before but survived. Arthur survived, and I knew this scar was going to be a reminder to him of how strong he was.
I was sane when we showed our love to each other, showing that our absence changed nothing in our marriage and relationship. I knew I was strong, Arthur showed me that in his love for me and his faith in me. No one else was as committed and or as nurturing as he was, and no one ever will be.
I was sane, once again I was sane.
