Original air date: March 29, 2005
Cold Open: SpaceCatz- "British Army" (with Nbot and Beldam)
Song performed: "Goodbye To Romance"- Ozzy Osborne (Eric Cartman)
Summary: After "Goodbye To Romance" begins the show, Eric tries to do the opening remarks, but Kirby and Squirtle are arguing backstage arguing about using each other's toothbrushes. It is left to Vivian to do the first bit of news: the Diablo Films Spring Draft will take place May 21st, and people like Eric and Milk-Chan will take part. Goombella then brings in Tai Kamiya, who was part of the "overbid" with Milk-Chan from 8 episodes ago. Ignoring a scared Vivian, Eric and Goombella interview Tai, but Mailbox (from Blue's Clues) interrupts with a mail delivery. The mail includes draft entry cards for Eric and (surprisely) Vivian, but not for Goombella. Irate, the Goomba decides to show her worth to the network and leaves to talk to Carrie Burrell.
The Spring Draft pool is next with the PlayStation Portable as the possible top prospect, but Mailbox interrupts again with a video package sent to "Area Man" from David and Karen. They are on their honeymoon in Maine with Cousin Melissa, and they show us them trying to find day treatment for Trenchcoat (Ozzy Osborne's "Crazy Train" plays during the search). As for Goombella, Carrie tells her that the draft cards are given out according to 'drawing power', but the Goomba seeks to prove her wrong. When she returns to the set, she hears that Eric has coxed Peyton Manning into coming on the show. But that good news is overshadowed by this: Trenchcoat has escaped the Breaking Gang and is heading for South Park.
As for Vivian, she hears about both news items at the skate park. Then with Eric, she gets more news: Lain Iwakura will also be involved in the draft, and the police will give $25,000 to the person who brings in Trenchcoat. Eric puts Vivian in charge of the bounty hunt, while on stage, Goombella asks Duke's "Coach K" to be her agent, but the going price is steep.
When Vivian does find Trenchcoat, he asks her for help with something: killing Peyton. So as the Siren tries to stop Trenchcoat and Eric does more prank calls, Goombella begins to show off her 'skills'. Alas, a break-necking dance gets no response from the audience, as does a pigeon- taming bit later on.
Then a breakthrough for Vivian happens: she's found Peyton Manning in a restaurant, but Trenchcoat goes after him right away. Needless to say, Eric (via phone call) demands Vivian to get Peyton on set. Before that, however, he does the old 'sawing someone in half' routine with Goombella… and it really works!
Back with Vivian, she talks to Peyton about a possible "Area Man" endorsement from him, but gets shot down. Trenchcoat then drags Vivian into a bathroom and tells her that "losers are different species". But when Tai enters the bathroom, Trenchcoat goes nuts… again. On the stage, Eric intros his mother Liane on the xylophone, which has been rigged with explosives by Goombella. But when Liane messes up one note too many (playing "Crazy Train"), Goombella seeks to correct her… and then gets blown up.
Eric then does a juggling act, but Goombella finally one-ups him by blowing herself up. Then Kyle Broflouski enters… with $25,000, since he brought Trenchcoat to the authorities! In the closing remarks, Vivian tries to apologize to Eric, and Goombella re-enters with a Spring Draft card, proving "you damn near have to kill yourself to get recognized". As for Beldam, she wasn't even in the show, and Vivian flees with Eric for Augusta National Golf Course.
