Chapter 6 May 12-May 18

Saturday May 12, 2012

Private Diary Entry 12

Okay. I have to admit that maybe…just maybe…I'd been a little bit judgemental about a certain young Italian who is spending this summer in out quaint little town. What with the rampant speculation about his being on the lam, hiding out in a McMansion, or at the very least questioning why on earth he'd decided to move here.

I'm just lucky that my sister is a big enough person to not hold it against me.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen (of my imagination, because seriously, who would be reading this?), I may have been a little to harsh on Feliciano Vargas.

It all started with flowers. After their date last week, Feli sent Michelle flowers at work to let her know he was thinking of her. First of all, points to him for not sending them to the house, where my mom would jump all over them, read the card, and then likely get it framed. Secondly, he'd been on Michelle's Pintrest apparently, because he knew her favourite flower.

But the flowers did come with a card, one that also bore an invitation to a dinner party. For Michelle and for me. My mother, being my mother, figured that the mythical medical school friends must have come into town, and to better her chances for all of her offspring, decided to try and wedge Alicia in (as well as herself, for some reason).

But Feli handled it like a champ.

He thanked my mom for dropping off Michelle and me at the door, and sent Mom and Alicia away by promising to come over for dinner sometime next week.

My mother was satisfied, having finally gotten the promised chance to feed Feli Vargas. Alicia, for her part, seemed fine with it. She wasn't enthusiastic about a "sit down and take a sip of wine and spit it out type thing, anyway," as she put it.

It was a gorgeous party. And Vecchio is a really gorgeous house. I have a feeling that Caterina did a lot of shopping and hiring of painters to get it to look like more than just a young bachelor lived here. Feli was also the perfect host-kind to everyone, happy to see them, and going out of his way to make people feel comfortable. He went from group to group like a bouncy ball.

"Hey, Maddie" Feli said to me when we entered, "I'm glad you could come!"

"I'm glad you invited me."

"Well, I knew Michelle would be more comfortable with other people around…you especially," Feli smiled his thousand-watt smile.

"Feli, did you throw an entire dinner party just to make Michelle comfortable?" I asked, things clicking to place in my head.

"Well…" he blushed. "I want to get to know everyone else, too!"

"Wow." I said. "That's some dedication to your courtship."

Feli was still blushing, so I decided to cut him some slack and change the subject. But can I help it if I changed the subject to something I wanted to know?

"So what made you decide to move here, anyway?" I asked. "Buying a house is a big decision."

Feli's smile seemed frozen for a second before he shrugged, "I told my parents it was an investment property." Which I guess is rich-person speak for I have a half dozen houses and flit between them. But Feli continued, "But really, I came here for Kiku's bachelor party, and I just…fell in love with the place. The town. The people."

It was no surprise to me that his brown eyes were following Michelle as she greeted Caterina across the room.

"Anyway, I just thought being here would be nice!"

And it was. It was really nice. He was really nice. After I freed him from my inquisition (skills honed from my mom), Feli spent the entire evening next to Michelle. But not in a cloying, stalkery way. In an I'm truly interested in you and your opinions way. He asked her what she thought of the house. Asked for her professional design opinion. I can't imagine that went over well with Caterina, but she didn't say anything, just smiled at Michelle and enthusiastically agreed with whatever she said.

Ling was there too (for Michelle's comfort, but I was happy about it myself), along with a couple of other people we knew from school, some from Michelle's office, and a few others we'd met at the wedding.

"Feli makes friends easily, it seems," Ling said to me.

"Yeah," I mused, all the while keeping my eyes on Michelle and Feli. The look on his face spoke volumes. "He really likes her, doesn't he?"

"Yup," Ling agreed. "So…" She looked at me with eyebrows raised.

"So…maybe I was a little hard on him."

"Aw, you admitted a mistake." Ling grinned at me. "I've never seen that before."

I swatted her arm for that, making her spill a little of her drink. Which, thankfully, was just water. She told me she's decidedly off vodka tonics for a bit.

"Yes, there is that rare occasion where external factors were perhaps influencing my first impression of someone."

"Translation: you were wrong."

"I am capable of changing my mind, when it's warranted." I let my eyes find Michelle and Feli again, across the room. "And I was wrong about Feli. Which is good, because Michelle really likes him."

"Really?" Ling asked. "How do you know?"

"Because she told me," I replied. "And besides, just look at her."

At that moment, Feli whispered something in Michelle's ear and she laughed. Then she turned away to address something to Caterina said, trying to pay attention to other people as she did Feli.

"Then maybe she should show it more," Ling said, frowning.

"She shows plenty," I replied. "She's at this party, isn't she? She's sitting next to him at dinner."

"Michelle would have sat next to anyone who requested it of her."

"You think that?" I asked. "Why, just because she's nice?"

"Exactly! She's nice. And she's nice to everyone. If she really likes Feli, she should show him a little bit more favour than she would a random stranger, is all I'm saying."

Actually, I'm fine with the way Michelle was acting. As much as I've changed my mind about Feli tonight, I am happy that she is remaining her usual composed self, at least publicly. Playing it cool means it won't go too fast, and Michelle can keep some boundaries- and keep some of herself. Maybe this will turn into something real. I just don't want her to fall so hard (with our mother's encouragement) that she forgets who she is and what's really important.

The rest of the evening went well. Feli had apparently wanted to make five kinds of pasta himself, but Caterina made him hire caterers for the evening, which I can't fault because it resulted in the best crostini (which I would never admit to my mother) I've ever had. Ling ended up taling to a guy (!) for forty minutes, debating wether or not the French New Wave was overhyped. (Ling's take: it was) And there was even some dancing, of the mildly embarrassing, "Hey, you guys remember the electric slide?" variety. All in all, it was a pretty great evening. In fact, the only burr in its side was that perpetually sour-faced buzz kill known as Ludwig Beilschmidt. But hey, we expected that, didn't we?

Beilschmidt spent most of the evening hanging back in the corner of the room, watching the merriment with disdain. Caterina would occasionally go over to him, and they would exchange presumably snarky banter. More than once I discovered his blue eyes following me, but he would quickly look away the second I caught him. I could only imagine that he was recalling the horror of our dance.

I will give him this: at least with Beilschmidt you know for certain whether he likes you. Or in my case, whether he does not. Unlike Michelle and Feli, there is absolutely no guesswork involved.

Sunday May 13, 2012

A Twitter exchange between Caterina Vargas and Ludwig Beilschmidt

Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

+bschmidt taking a break from work. any luck?

8:45pm- May 13, 2012

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Ludwig Beilschmidt

+bschmidt

+romanitup I found the one shop that stocks something other than box wine. Some moderately passable choices. Returning shortly.

8:49pm- May 13, 2012

1 retweet, 3 likes

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Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

+bschmidt when you get back we're on the porch. I'm squinting at spreadsheets. +felilovespasta is studying. If you gotta work this view isn't bad

8:51pm- May 13, 2012

3 likes

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Ludwig Beilschmidt

+bschmidt

+romanitup trying to leave, but the store owner will not stop talking to me.

8:54pm- May 13, 2012

1 retweet, 5 likes

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Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

+bschmidt what a shame

8:56pm- May 13, 2012

.

Ludwig Beilschmidt

+bschmidt

+romanitup would not stop. I finally had to just walk away. People.

8:58pm- May 13, 2012

3 retweets, 15 likes

.

Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

+bschmidt lol

9:00pm- May 13, 2012

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Uploaded Monday May 14, 2012

Episode 11: Charming Mr. Vargas

"If one good thing came out of dinner at Feli's the other day- and I'm not convinced that anything did- it's that I can say with authority, that Feli is definitely into my sister," Maddie said. "And not in the creepy stalker way either. I know that I kind of prejudged the guy, right? But I have to admit. He is a nice, sensitive guy.

"My name is Maddie Kirkland and Feli Vargas just charmed the pants off of everybody…Not literally," she added hastily.

"That Feli. Man, one cool customer. Even my mother trying to invite herself in didn't faze him."

"Oh, Mr. Vargas, you remember us from zee wedding. We were so delighted to receive your invitation!" Maddie!Francine said, waving a hand airily around.

Back out of costume, Maddie said, "She does that all the time, barges in like she' invited. Mostly people feel so awkward about telling her no, that they just let her stay. She did that at the Parliament Buildings during our Ottawa trip. We had pop with Chretien's kids. Actually kind of amazing from a national security standpoint. But where the RCMP faltered? Feli Vargas didn't miss a beat."

Maddie donned the head mirror and stethoscope and said in her best (read: terrible) Italian accent, "Oh, it's-a so nice of you and Alicia to come drop off-a Michelle and Maddie!"

"And then, I'm not sure how he did it, but suddenly Mom was out the door, having invited Feli and Caterina (oh, and Beilschmidt- ugh) over to visit out house, which meant she couldn't stay around his house, because she had to go home and have a good panic. It was amazing," Maddie grinned.

Just then, Alicia burst into the room as if she had been listening with one ear at the door (which she may have acutally been doing). "Amazing for you, maybe. We had to stop for Xanax on the way home." She leaned over Maddie's shoulder, glaring.

"And how much of that Xanax ended up in your purse?" Maddie asked, eyebrows raised.

"…Gotta go!" Alicia squeaked, and left as quickly as she came.

Maddie shook her head and got back on topic, "Dinner was fine, I guess. Feli had a bunch of people over, like Ling, but the whole time, he was talking to Michelle every chance he got. Michelle, as usual, played it cool though, which is great. There is nothing more pathetic than a girl who throws herself at a guy the minute he starts to show the tiniest bit of interest."

From beside the camera, Ling coughed.

"Something to share with the class, Ling?"

Ling sat down beside Maddie, "I just think Michelle might have been playing it a little too cool." Maddie recalled Ling had raised this exact point at the party. Might as well let the audience hear her side as well.

"You don't think she's into him?"

"Oh, no. I think it's obvious she really likes him. I just think we're the only two people who can tell. See, this is what Michelle says when she sees someone she really likes:

'Oh, hi! It's so good to see you!' She said in a light airy tone.

"Her mortal enemy:

Oh, hi! It's so good to see you!'

"And the mailman:

Oh, hi! It's so good to see you!'

"And we, as lifelong scholars of the many moods of Michelle Bonnefoy, can tell the difference. I'm not sure Feli can."

"Well, he's a smart guy, he'll figure it out."

"I'm sure he could, if he puts his mind to it. The question is, will he put in the effort if he's not getting any encouragement?"

"Well, if he's not going to put in the effort, he's not worth her time. Speaking of thing that aren't worth anyone's time, can we go back to talking about Beilschimidt, because I feel like I'm getting some traction," Maddie said.

"Save it for next time. Too many subjects in one video and if feels unfocused."

Tuesday May 15, 2012

Private Diary Entry 13

Comment from *****: Maddie, if you can change your mind about Feli, what about Ludwig? Or Alicia? Jeez, judgemental much?

I've been getting comments like this lately on my videos. And I know you're not supposed to read the comments, or feed the trolls, or whatever – but the fact of the matter is comments are how I communicate with the viewers, so I have to.

Let me just say, the vast majority of the feedback I have received has been great. As a woman putting herself out there on YouTube, the fact of the matter is I expected far more "Show us your tits!" and "she ugly ho" comments than I have received (The debate about gender norms in new media as filtered through anonymity would fill up this entire journal, so we won't go there.) So, the negative comments I do get I tend to take pretty seriously – as constructive criticism. However…

"It's not a negative comment," Dr. Maes told me when I cornered her at lunch yesterday.

"It's not?"

"No – it is a questioning of your presentation and your worldview…which is exactly the kind of back and forth you want in an open communication," Dr. Maes said. "In fact, what you're doing with your video project is really quite exciting – I have not seen a community form around a voice like yours in a long time. But you do have to address the concerns of your community."

Which has gotten me wondering about what comes next. It's just an idea right now, and I don't want to overthink it, but what if my videos could be something bigger than just my end-of-term project?

But Dr. Maes makes a solid point. To have a true dialogue with the world (which is the whole point of this video project), I have to think wider than my narrow viewpoint.

The thing is, though, I don't think I'm being overly judgemental. I think I'm being pretty true to life. But how to make this clear to the faceless masses on the Internet? If they won't take my word for it, whose work would they take?

Wednesday May 16, 2012

A Twitter conversation between Caterina Vargas and Ludwig Beilschmidt

Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

is watching +bschmidt's driver whisk him away to the airport so he can take a "business" trip. I think he's trying to escape.

6:48pm- May 16, 2012

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Ludwig Beilschmidt

+bschmidt

I'll be back in a few days. You'll hardly know I'm gone.

6:54pm- May 16, 2012

7 retweets, 9 likes

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Caterina Vargas

+romanitup

twitter, you're my only hope. tell +bschmidt to take me away before I waste away from boredom and bad coffee

7:00pm- May 16, 2012

2 comments, 1 like

.

Uploaded Thursday May 17, 2012

Episode 12: Michelle Chimes In

Maddie turns the camera on, catching Michelle unprepared.

"Oh. Hi! It's so good to see you…Not that I can actually see you or anything, since I'm on the Internet and you're sitting at home. Can you imaging if I could actually see you? That would be weird."

Maddie slides into view, "Uh, hi, everyone. Don't worry, I'm still vlogging, and we will get back to the promised Beilschmidt-bashing. But today I have a very special guest, my big sister and second-bestest friend ever, Michelle!

"Second-bestest?"

"Just be glad you aren't Alicia. She doesn't even rank."

"Okay?"

"Great!

"My name is Maddie Kirkland, and this is where Michelle chimes in."

"I've asked Michelle here today because I've been getting some comments (Yay comments! Keep them coming!) Implying I might be a tad bit biased in my portrayals of friends and family members. (Of course I'm biased! It's my video blog!) However, in the interest of fairness, I have asked my sister Michelle here, the nicest person I know, to come and give her opinions." Maddie turned to her sister. "Ready, Michelle?"

"Ready," she nodded.

"Okay. Let's start with mom. My take: we love her, but she's nuts. Michelle?"

"Kind of. But sweet."

"How about dad?"

"He's pretty low-key. And he does enjoy winding up mom, but in a sweet way."

"Now, Ling, Alicia, and you have all been on the video blogs, so people can come to their own conclusions. How the illustrious…Feliciano Vargas?"

Michelle blushed, "Well…you know I like him."

Madde smiled, "Yeah, okay, once I got to know him, I liked him, too. Although not in that way. Because that would be awkward."

"So we're three for three?"

"How about Beilschmidt? And I defy you to call him sweet."

"I'll admit he's a little prickly. But he's…he's…" Michelle stopped, thinking hard, and then started again, "wh-". This went on…for a full agonizing minute, Michelle starting and stopping trying to think of one positive thing about Beilschmidt. "He's so – ah – He's – hmm…" Maddie's grin spread slowly across her face, watching Michelle struggle.

"No. No, no, no. I was just talking to Alicia about this…Gosh. It's going to come any second now." Michelle snapped her fingers. "I can't think with the camera looking at me like that." Maddie watched as she became increasingly flustered.

Finally she said, "He's tall. Ludwig is tall."

Maddie could help but laugh. "Okay! For the record, when the nicest thing Michelle Bonnefoy has to say about you is 'tall', you have personality problems."

"Maddie," Michelle said despairingly.

"What? It's totally true."

Michelle swiftly changed the subject, "What did you think about Caterina?"

"Feli's sister?"

"Isn't she super sweet?"

"Yeah! She's great." Maddie didn't have anything against Caterina, they truthfully hadn't interacted much. But anytime Maddie did have a conversation with her, Caterina seemed to come off as standoffish and overly judgemental.

"Okay! There you have it! Michelle agrees! Maddie Kirkland is a news source you can rely on. Thanks, Michelle!"

"Bye, everybody." Michelle turned and left, closing the door behind her.

"Michelle can be right about Caterina. I guess. I mean she was really nice to everyone. But she kept going off in a corner to hang out with Beilschmidt. Like Statler and Waldorf being snarky for their own amusement. Not that could hear them or anything. Maybe she's just into him. Lord knows why. Caterina was sweet to Michelle, though. I'm sure she really likes her. Or she knows she should be nice to her because Feli likes her…Wow, I am really cynical of people. Okay! I'm going to be positive. Positive

"Oh! Got it. If Feli's sister was only being nice to Michelle because Feli likes her, then she's smart and putting her brother's feelings before her own!

"And I know its driving Ling nuts, but I still think Michelle is doing the right thing by playing it cool. I mean, Michelle and Feli have hung out, what, like four times? How could you bas a long-term relationship on that? So Michelle, if you're watching this, and I know you are, don't listen to Ling!"

A giant red 'X' with an error sound appeared over Maddie's face. The words: 'LISTEN TO LING!' were beside it.