It's been two days and I have avoided everyone in that time, expect for Boromir who had hardly left my side, barely eating or leaving my room but we leave for Helms Deep today and so I can't hide anymore. Putting on my outfit of leggings a loose shirt and tunic with boots, I strap a belt around my waist and sigh as I realise that I have no weapon not even my dagger as I had lost it in the woods when we fought the Uruk Hai. Well at least the outfit is comfortable and practical and yet still feminine somehow. A knock at my door brings me out of my reverie and I turn to see Boromir standing in the doorway looking at me with a pensive expression.
"I wish you did not have to come," He says eventually,
"There is not much alternative really," I smile,
"You could go to Gondor, my father and brother would care for you in Minis Tirith until I come home," he says hopefully and I laugh a little as I sit on the edge of the bed and stare up at him.
"You know that I would not… could not leave you, any of you Boro. I am a part of the Fellowship I cannot leave besides I am ready look," I say trying to cheer him up and stop him worrying about me, standing up and spinning round to show off my new outfit.
"The perfect picture of a warrior," he says quietly,
"Yep, except that I have no weapons," I grumble and he chuckles a little at this,
"Well then maybe it is time I returned this to you," he says pulling out my dagger and holding out to me.
"My dagger, how did…?" I trail off as I take the small but deadly weapon in my hands and tuck it neatly into my boot where I think it is safest.
"I found it with the help of Gimli and I kept hold of it for you,"
"Thank you," I whisper hugging him tightly, "although I'm not sure of what use I shall be with only this," I mutter and he laughs again,
"Well you saved my life with it, never forget power does not come from the size or the number of your weapons," he says and I stare up at him in a mixture of awe and confusion, "but if you are still unsatisfied then we should go and see the others," he adds and pulls me from the room before I can protest.
"There you are little one we wondered where you had got to these last few days," Aragorn smiles and I tense slightly until I realise that they are not going to mention the other night.
"Sorry, I've been… busy," I finish lamely,
"Well I have a gift for you," Aragorn continues going to his bag and pulling from beside it a beautiful sword.
"Wow… Oh my word… it's beautiful… where?" I can barely get my words out as I examine the ornate hilt and pulling it from the sheath admire the way the light hit the deadly sharp metal of the blade.
"It is an elvish blade, I sent word to my family in Rivendell and this was sent for you, it is lighter and you should be able to handle it well, the elvish made blade will not dull or become less deadly over time, it will serve you well," he says and I fling myself at him after I have put it away and hug him tightly.
"Thank you," I say eventually as I strap the sword to my side and yes okay so I still feel like I have no idea how to use it in a real fight but at least I feel like I look a bit more soldier like now.
"My Lady… Arriana," Legolas steps forward and I frown at him slightly as he approaches me. Irritated that even though I hate how he is confusing me at the moment I can't stop the calmness that washes over me as soon as he gets near.
"Yes,"
"I too have a gift for you, when we started training I like Aragorn sent word and my old bow which I had left in Lothlorien has been sent I would like you to have it," he says sounding every bit the royal and I am once again struck by the fact that he really is a prince.
"I can't, Legolas it is your bow, It…"
"It's yours now and I have trained you well I think it will serve you well," he replies effectively ending my protests and he helps me attach it and the quiver of new arrows to my back.
"Well how do I look?" I ask eventually as I step back and twirl for them smiling brightly.
"Like a true warrior," Aragorn smiles,
"Aye they'll be no stopping you know Lassie," Gimli joins in and I laugh as we set off on our journey and I have to say that whilst I am scared about the future and about more battles I am excited to be on the move again I was beginning to feel a little suffocated in Edoras.
We walk for hours despite a brief row with Boromir where he insisted that I ride and I refused.
"But I don't think it's right that I ride when so many walk," I sulk,
"You are a lady of Gondor, the daughter of the Captain and granddaughter of the Steward you should ride," he argues back at me and I pout at him for second.
"But surely I should walk and let someone who is ill or elderly ride, I am fit and healthy and it would make Gondor look generous and kind," I counter and after a chuckle from both Aragorn and the King he relents and I pass off the horse and skip ahead slightly to walk with Eowyn.
"She is spirited," Theoden says to Boromir, apparently they have forgotten about my excellent hearing,
"Aye my lord she keeps me busy," Boromir sighs
"She keeps us all busy," Aragorn laughs, "she can barely keep herself out of trouble for more than a couple of minutes,"
"Yes she will turn my hair grey soon," Boromir sighs again but I can hear the smile in his voice.
"She reminds me of Eowyn very much, you say you adopted her how came you to that decision?" I pause slightly at this listening intently to what his answer would be.
"We found her many months ago alone and injured, she travelled with us and she saved my life, she saved all of our lives. When we rested for a time in Lorien we found that she had been orphaned as a baby and had never known family or love, she was already a part of the fellowship and we all care deeply for her but she… well I could not help but feel as if she were my own and when I asked her if she would let be her Guardian she accepted readily. I could not have hoped or wished for a better daughter," he says proudly and I almost want to cry and I remain lost in my own thoughts until someone nudges my shoulder and looking up I see Aragron staring down at me an amused expression on his face.
"It is rude to eaves drop on others conversations little one," he smiles and I blush in slight shame,
"Sorry," I mutter,
"He is very proud of you little one, we all are," he adds ruffling my hair before moving off again.
"You are lucky to have so many great men around you that care for you so," Eowyn says a few minutes later and I smile feeling myself blush slightly.
"Yes… I am, although it has its disadvantages too," I add
"Like what?" she asks and I laugh slightly at her,
"They never want me to fight, they are super over protective of anyone even coming near me, they…" I break off as she laughs and soon I am laughing too as I realise she knows exactly what I mean.
Eventually it is decided that we should make camp and rest. Sitting by the camp fire I am aware of Legolas' eyes on me and it makes me fidget uneasily,
"I'm going to get some water," I say quietly to Eowyn when I can't take it anymore and moving quickly I find the solitude of the stream and bend down to fill my canteen, hearing a noise behind me I wheel around quickly sword drawn and heart pounding to find Legolas standing there staring at me still. "What do you want Legolas?" I ask wearily putting my sword away and picking up my water.
"You should stay with the women," he says quietly moving towards me.
"I'm with everyone," I say slightly confused,
"I mean when we get to Helms deep, it is not safe for you," he continues and I almost laugh at how this is exactly what Eowyn and I had been laughing about earlier,
"It is not safe for anyone," I point out to him and I see a flash of something seem to cross his face for a second before it is gone too quickly for me to work out what it was.
"You can not fight," he says now his voice even and a little too controlled, why can't he drop this and just accept it.
"It's too late for that Legolas, you've trained me, I'm ready," I say feeling my own determination waver even as I say it.
"You are not prepared, it is not safe and I will not be able to stop you getting hurt," he sounds so fierce when he says this that I almost whimper trying to back away even before I become aware that he is gripping my arm tightly staring into my eyes.
"Why do you care?" I say before I can stop myself and again I see something flash across his face before it is hidden behind that mask of indifference, he lets go of me and steps back quickly while I stand there reeling slightly from the loss of contact and warmth he brought my skin still tingling.
"I do not know," he almost whispers but I hear him none the less and he knows I do, then he is gone and I feel even less certain about anything as I sit heavily on the bank of the stream willing myself not to cry or scream out in frustration and hurt.
"Lady Arriana are you well?" a voice asks as I sit back down by a cluster of rocks and I look up and smile at Eowyn as she approaches me.
"I am fine," I say quietly,
"Arriana what is the matter?" Boromir says suddenly appearing beside me also and I smile up at him slightly.
"It is nothing I am fine," I repeat and he doesn't look convinced until he spots Legolas staring over and his entire body tenses, "leave it please," I beg placing a hand on his arm and after a minute or two he relaxes slightly and squeezes my fingers before pulling me towards the fire.
"Lord Aragorn and Lord Gimli were telling us of your beautiful singing voice," Eowyn says quietly as we walk and I quirk an eyebrow at her,
"Were they now?" I say in mild amusement and slight embarrassment.
"Yes. I was wondering, would you come and sing for us, perhaps a song from the land you grew up in, the people are in great need of cheering?" she asks and I sigh already knowing that I would not be able to refuse her and eventually I nod, already feeling my face burning as I move with her and Boromir to the main fire others muttering and hushing as I take a seat beside Aragorn, Boromir quickly sitting on my other side so that I am sandwiched between them and I glance at Aragorn briefly, who squeezes my arm in encouragement.
"I'm going to get you back for this," I hiss at him with a slight smirk on my face and he grins back at me. I close my eyes and take a breath once I have a song in my head, God this is more nerve wracking than fighting.
Settle down with me
Cover me up
Cuddle me in
Lie down with me
And hold me in your arms
And your hearts against my chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with a feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
Settle down with me
I'll be your safety
You'll be my lady
I was made to keep your body warm
But I'm cold as the wind blows so hold me in your arms
Oh no
My hearts against your chest, your lips pressed to my neck
I'm falling for your eyes, but they don't know me yet
And with this feeling I'll forget, I'm in love now
Kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
We're falling in love
Yeah I've been feeling everything
From hate to love
From love to lust
From lust to truth
I guess thats how I know you
So I hold you close to help you give it up
So kiss me like you wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
You wanna be loved
This feels like falling in love
Falling in love
We're falling in love
When I have finished singing there is silence around and I see that many are smiling as women cradle now sleeping children to them thanking me with nods and smiles.
"That was a beautiful song," Eowyn whispers and I blush furiously and duck my head before I feel fingers gripping my chin and pulling my head up to look into stormy grey ones.
"You should not be shy about such a gift Little one," Aragorn says gently`and I smile briefly before looking up and catching Legolas staring at me an unreadable expression on his face and then something flashes across his features and for a second I think it is affection and my heart soars until his face closes he scowls and turns away from me. My heart drops like stone and the disappointment I feel is almost painful. I need to stop this, he will never love me and I need to accept it. I stand quickly and mutter something about going to sleep desperate to get away from them, less they notice.
"Give him time Little one," I spin at the voice and see Aragorn standing beside me giving Legolas a stern glare, too late then he noticed.
"It doesn't matter I'll just learn to accept it, he could never… will never… it doesn't matter," I sigh and turn away.
"I will kill him," I hear Boromir muttering to Aragorn as I walk away,
"She would not thank you for it my friend, just make sure you try to buffer her pain, that is all we can do," Aragorn sighs and I feel even more wretched.
The night is long and I don't sleep at all aware of Legolas watching me, keeping half his attention on me even when he is keeping watch for danger. I eventually fall asleep and feel like I have only been sleeping for five minutes when someone is shaking me awake.
"Go away," I mumble and hear laughter in response,
"Nay Arriana, time to get up or must I carry you the whole way?"
"Dad?" I ask blearily as I open my eyes and see Boromir crouching beside me, he beams at what I have said and brushes his fingers gently over my face before pulling me into a standing position.
"He's still watching me isn't he?" I ask and he nods tensely at me, "right I've had enough of this," I mutter pushing past him.
'Where are you going Arriana?" he calls but I don't answer too busy storming towards my target.
"Stop watching me and concentrate on what is important," I hiss at him as he is getting ready to set off again and I can't take it anymore.
"You distract me that is why it is not safe for you to be here," he growls back and I step back a little, frightened by his tone and the ferocity with which he is moving things around noticing that a few others are now watching our exchange too.
"That's not my fault, I can't help that I came here, I'm sorry that I distract you but you are just going to have to find a way to deal with it," I snap back at him and before I know it he has reeled around at me his fists clenched his face inches from mine, I hear a few gasps from onlookers and I have never seen him look more dangerous as I try to place a mask of indifference on my own face and not show him how scared I am, although I'm not sure he is even really seeing me at all.
"We should have left you, you put everyone in danger," he whispers menacingly and I flinch openly at his words.
"Enough Legolas, go get the others ready to leave," Aragorn suddenly commands from behind me and I watch as he stares at me a while longer before stalking away quickly, "are you okay little one?" I nod my head realising that I am shaking with anger? Fear? Hurt? all three maybe I don't know but I would not cry in front of these men.
"He really hates me doesn't he?" I say quietly when I am sure my voice would be steady again,
"No little one, I think it is quite the opposite of hate, he is confused as I said before this is all new to him," I scoff at this and shake my head sadly.
"No you're wrong, I wish you weren't but you are. He hates me, but thank you I'm glad I still have you by my side, you are aren't you?" I ask suddenly worrying that Aragorn would agree with Legolas and leave me too.
"Of course I am, and I always will be, we are bonded as the fellowship for all time and you are the sister I never had," he smiles embracing me quickly before chuckling "let us just thank the Valar that Boromir was too busy with the ladies of Rohan over there to notice what was happening or we may have had a dead elf on our hands," and I offer him a small smile at that before hugging him again.
"I've always wanted a big brother," I whisper,
"Well now you have one," he replies smiling fondly at me,
"Who knew that a war has good sides," I muse a minute later,
"It does?" he asks with an amused quirk of his eyebrow.
"Well yes, I know its dangerous and scary and everything but when I came here I had nothing and now I have a father and a brother and friends and I'm an elf, well half an elf, which is just crazy, its just funny how life works out sometimes huh?"
"Well I for one thank the Valar we found you little one," he laughs and then moving off when we start to walk. I keep my distance from Legolas and everyone as we walk still relishing in the warm feeling that Aragron's words had instilled in me and it is only the acute hearing that I have developed being a half elf that allows me to hear when suddenly Legolas begins shouting about an ambush and without thinking I grab a horse and mounting it send the others on their way ignoring the shouts of both the king and Eowyn as I rush to the aid of the men.
