Chapter 11

Sex changes things, Naruto thought. Then, remembering the first time he'd had sex, he corrected himself. Good sex changes things.

It was beyond good, though. They'd been on the quilt or its general vicinity for the past three days, and it seemed that each time Sasuke jumped his bones the freak improved upon the last time in some subtle, yet mind-blowing way. And Sasuke jumped his bones damned often. Pretty much all bleeding day, if the truth were known.

Moose had come around on the second day, clearly upset about being left at the shack by himself. He bit Naruto when he tried to pet him, and ignored Sasuke completely. Just now, Moose was lying off to one side, gnawing some root he'd dug up.

He watched Moose idly, spread-eagled in a boneless sprawl, as the sun set. Sasuke snored quietly on his left.

Back to the sex, Naruto thought. At first, he'd just needed the feeling. The physical feeling. The touching, the way his body heated up, the kissing, the fucking, and the coming. Sasuke had given him a good seven or so straight hours of that on their first night on the quilt, until Sasuke had finally said he needed to stop. Naruto had let him. He, of course, could have gone another seven hours. He found that waiting for Sasuke to nap and recover his strength built his anticipation to a state that left him quivering; when Sasuke did wake up, Naruto was all over him. Sasuke had been ready.

Little by little, things changed. The need became somehow both less and more physical…while shifting to something unrelated to physical pleasure entirely. Naruto couldn't explain it. The best he could come up with was that he became less focused on the feel of fucking, and more on Sasuke himself. And he didn't necessarily like where his thoughts and feelings were heading.

It was strange for him seeing Sasuke naked now. Aside from the sudden fascination with his cock (and the wonderful things it could do), there was the rest of Sasuke's body. Before, it had been just that. A body. Now it seemed to Naruto that he was overly aware of how broad Sasuke's shoulders were, and how his arms were getting bulky with muscle. Sasuke's waist was tapering down to leanness, as his torso also seemed to broaden. Before the accident, Sasuke's body had looked the same as ever. Sort of boyish. Now, what with all the exercise he made himself do in an effort to bounce back to full strength, his body was really starting to fill out. Naruto wondered if his own body was changing as drastically. It didn't feel like it was.

And the hair. Sasuke's hair brushed his shoulders now. Naruto knew his own hair was long and wild, but Sasuke's sometimes got caught in the wind and-

Stop it! What's wrong with you?

Naruto didn't know what was wrong with him. He just knew that all Sasuke had to do was lift his arm, or scratch his leg (now intriguingly thick around the thighs and calves), and his mouth went dry. His dick invariably took notice, and more often than not Naruto found sweat beading his upper lip.

And it got worse.

As if the fixation on Sasuke's body wasn't enough, Naruto now seemed positively obsessed with what went on in Sasuke's head. What did the guy think about while they were fucking? When their eyes met during the act, did Sasuke get that sick, fluttery feeling in his guts the way he did? Was it hard for him to swallow? Did he have the uncontrollable urge to cry sometimes?

Does he know he's beautiful?

Oh God! HE IS NOT BEAUTIFUL!

Naruto lay breathing through flared nostrils as he studiously thought about anything but Sasuke…for all of three seconds. His mind returned to the subject at once, and he was barely aware of letting it.

The worst thing of all was what Sasuke had said when he'd come out of the forest. Those were the things that hooked themselves into Naruto's brain, refusing to let go. The more he dwelled on these things, the deeper they sank their hooks in.

He could remember each thing distinctly: I want you to want me in a completely unfriendly way; I want you to think about me; I want you to melt when I touch you, and I want you to get hard when I say your name; I want to look at you and have you know I'm thinking about fucking you without me saying a word; I want to stop being seen as your friend; I need more than that from you. The words played themselves over and over in his mind. Mixed with everything else he couldn't seem to stop thinking about now, Naruto thought it very possible that he was losing his mind.

It was the need, you see. Not the physical part. The other part. The part that was embedded deep in his viscera, that felt like jelly whenever he stared at Sasuke for too long now, and that seemed to be made of hot lava whenever he dwelled on his obsessive thoughts. The most accurate way he could describe this visceral upheaval was need.

He needed Sasuke. And Sasuke didn't seem to be troubled by any such similar thoughts. The bastard seemed focused entirely on the sex…which Naruto was too, but…ah, fuck.

All of this, the thoughts, the unexplainable feelings, the need…all of it felt like a yawning chasm, an abyss beneath his feet that fell away into endless nothing. Naruto felt…no, he knew that if he lost his balance and fell into that abyss that he'd be lost. His self, his Naruto-ness, it would be gone. Swallowed forever by whatever was in that abyss. Something was in there, that much he knew. So he tried to keep his balance by keeping his mouth shut about all these things, but it was getting hard. Everything suddenly seemed so hard and it was all sex's fault. For fuck's sake, he could barely breathe anymore. Sex changed everything.

-oOo-

Sasuke rolled to his back, yawned, arched in a lengthy stretch, then tuned over completely to face Naruto.

He stared. Naruto was awake, as usual, and quiet, which was unusual. At least, it had been unusual until about 48 hours ago. As always, he wondered what Naruto was thinking that put that frown between his eyes, but Sasuke never asked. He was afraid to. For one thing, whatever it was might be something that killed this perpetual bubble of sex they seemed to be living in. For another, he was less interested in Naruto's thoughts than he was in Naruto's fascinating responses to him.

He could admit to himself that before, during that first time, and a few nights ago after the ramen, that he'd been a bit…well, not unsure, but he hadn't really known where he stood with Naruto sexually. There had been some hesitation on his part the second time around, some unvoiced uncertainties…but Naruto had done away with those.

If Sasuke was grateful for anything in his life, ever, it was two things: getting the chance to apologize to his brother, and Naruto's big fat mouth.

Aside from that little rant at the end of their second time, Naruto had been quite vocal about what pleased him and what didn't for the first day. That had been more than enough for Sasuke to sketch out in his mind a rudimentary map of Naruto's sweet spots. After, once Naruto had begun getting quieter and quieter, it hadn't really mattered because although the words had stopped, Naruto nevertheless told Sasuke he was being pleased in a variety of ways. Sasuke had quickly become adept at reading those ways.

And the uncertainty was gone. He now touched Naruto how he wanted, where he wanted, whenever he wanted. He was never rebuffed or refused. He had Naruto at his mercy and made sure to take advantage of that.

Sasuke gathered a limp Naruto to his side now and looked down at the frowning face awhile. Staring into those blue eyes these days almost always brought on a mild case of vertigo; it was like staring into the sky for too long. His eyes skipped downward, over the brown body that was starting to become more familiar than his own, and sent his hand questioning over the shallow hills and valleys. He felt Naruto tremor.

Head still propped on one hand, Sasuke fisted his other around the expectant length of Naruto's cock, filling his hand with it. He moved the pad of his thumb around the engorged tip in slow, lazy circles, smearing the clear juice that welled up from his squeezing. Naruto's hips arched strongly. They continued to jerk and twist restlessly the more Sasuke swirled his thumb. Before long Naruto's hand came up to grab Sasuke's wrist. Sasuke shifted to his knees, using his other arm to fend Naruto off as he now focused entirely on that one knob of flesh. He added pressure with his thumb, pressing against the glans and gushing hole, rubbing, rubbing, rubbing, until he and Naruto were both panting with excitement. Naruto came with a little yelp. The white liquid oozed all over Sasuke's hand. Sasuke looked at this a moment, looked at Naruto's red face, and suddenly experienced a powerful urge to know him in this most intimate of ways. He curbed the urge with an effort; Naruto, though vocal about pleasure, was nonetheless still reticent whenever Sasuke introduced something new.

But that cock looked so inviting, all soft and covered in cum. He wanted it, wanted to taste those gooey…dewy…pearly white drops. The smell alone had him swallowing the sudden rush of saliva in his mouth. He turned to Naruto, and found him avoiding his gaze.

"Naruto?"

"What." His face was red.

Sasuke realized that though they'd touched each other like this several times, he'd never actually given Naruto a full hand job. "Look at me."

After a few seconds, Naruto did.

"Are you embarrassed?"

"…No."

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not."

"Is it because I made you come?"

"I said I'm not embarrassed." But his eyes had gotten really round when he realized Sasuke wasn't going to stop.

"What's wrong then?"

"Nothing. We should go."

"Where?"

"Back to Konoha."

The mention of Konoha meant an end to their intimacy. That Naruto wanted an end to it. "Something's wrong that you're not telling me. If I did something you didn't like-"

Naruto sat up abruptly, glanced around, then reached for his pants. "I just think that if we're going, we should go." He pulled the tattered orange pants on.

Sasuke sat on his heels. He didn't like this. Not at all. First the growing silences, now this. It wasn't like Naruto to be secretive. Naruto always said what was on his mind. Sasuke's lips thinned, but he forced himself to ask, "Is my performance lacking again?" He hadn't thought it was. He'd thought he was doing a very good job, all things considered.

Naruto glanced at him, then stared at his lap. He grew still and Sasuke sensed some sort of confession coming. He sat where he was, fingertips resting to either side of him on the quilt, and waited.

I don't know how to tell him, Naruto thought miserably. I don't even know what to tell him. Or what I'm feeling, or why I'm feeling it. If only I knew he felt the same way! "There's nothing wrong with your performance, as you put it." That much he knew. God, if Sasuke's performance was any more right Naruto could reasonably expect to die of the pleasure.

"What, then?"

"Nothing."

"You're lying."

"No I'm not. I just…don't know how to put it in words."

"So there is something. Is it bad? Did something happen?" But if something had happened, Sasuke would know about it. He and Naruto never left each other's sight.

Yeah, something's happening to me. "Let's just g-"

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong. Just say it, whatever it is." Sasuke closed his eyes hard, inhaled deeply, and added, "Please."

But Naruto didn't think he could. He'd come off sounding like some lovesick girl, and if Sasuke didn't feel the same –and there was no evidence to suggest Sasuke did- then Naruto knew he'd never live down the shame. Not ever. He lay back down, and gave Sasuke his back.

After a few minutes he heard Sasuke lying down behind him. Later, when Sasuke drew him in for a heated kiss, Naruto responded at once, losing himself in the sensations Sasuke was so good at calling up.


Eventually they did get up, a half-hearted decision to make for Konoha pushing them from their cozy cocoon of sex. Naruto firmly put his troubling thoughts aside. Sasuke seemed to have nothing troubling him at all, now that he had what he wanted. He was more than willing to devote hours upon hours to their hedonistic discoveries with each other, and Naruto welcomed the distraction, even if somewhere inside him it made things worse.

Their progress to Konoha was glacial as a result; they stopped so often, sometimes after walking for only an hour, that they might as well have stayed by the brook. To make matters worse, these stops weren't brief. Whole days were lost in lengthy, lazy, languorous naps, only for them to wake and spend the entire night in one torrid blaze of rambunctious sex. Sometimes they ignored sleep altogether, pushing through their fatigue in order to keep fucking. Much time would be wasted before one or the other of them would remember that they were supposed to be traveling. While they 'traveled', they indulged themselves almost nonstop. It was pure and undiluted self-gratification, plain and simple.

Sometimes Sasuke would just stare at Naruto with that smirk. In the past, that smirk had meant derision, the sneering contempt of someone who felt superior to everyone. Now, Naruto thought giddily, Sasuke's wish had come true; Naruto would see that look and know without the slightest doubt that Sasuke was thinking of fucking him. The look never failed to have him breaking out in goosebumps of anticipation. Sasuke would stare for a while, his eyes roving leisurely over Naruto's body, before approaching him with a studied attempt at nonchalance. His kisses would be slow and deep. His hands would roam and squeeze, prod and grab, and Naruto would be lost in soaring sensations that left him lightheaded.

Other times, Sasuke would satisfy them both quickly, sleep, then wake and do it all over again, on and on, until Naruto was almost comatose from multiple ejaculations. Always, though, Sasuke would initiate things, and Naruto would be ready and eager.

For the time being Sasuke was in charge. Naruto was content for him to be.

-oOo-

"Hey," Sasuke whispered one morning. He didn't quite smile into Naruto's slumberous eyes, but his own eyes warmed with an inner smirk. He pressed a light kiss to Naruto's soft, masculine lips. "Want to see something interesting?"

They were standing, naked, with Sasuke pinning Naruto against a tree as they indulged in leisurely kisses. They'd just finished a round and were letting the tree hold them up while they recovered.

Naruto was immediately suspicious. "Um…okay?"

Sasuke raised his right hand. Naruto obligingly looked on. His eyes widened when Sasuke's fingertips suddenly glowed a dull red with heat. Sasuke lowered his hand to Naruto's groin. "Relax," he said when Naruto flinched.

There was a brief sting. Naruto yelped…then stared wide-eyed as the wiry hairs surrounding his cock and balls were neatly singed. The charred hairs fell away from his crotch in a small fall. Sasuke brushed away stray hairs from the denuded region with his other hand. "How's that feel?" he asked.

Naruto stared downward. Not a hair remained. "Cold. Does my dick look bigger to you?"

"Hm." Sasuke pretended to conduct an investigation of Naruto's size with his hand. "Can't say. I'll need to make a thorough assessment of the entire area."

Studying the serious expression in those black eyes, Naruto chuckled. "Do your worst, asshole." But his stomach clenched in excitement. He wondered if Sasuke would make him come this way again.

Sasuke fished the last bottle of oil from their makeshift bag and saw that it was practically finished. "Might as well put it to good use." He upended it over Naruto's semi-erect cock, spread it around, then slipped his hand over the greased appendage. As if really assessing what Naruto had to offer, his hand cupped the now-hairless balls as well, before moving down and back towards Naruto's ass. His middle and ring fingers slipped between Naruto's cheeks, found his hole, and curved deeply inside before being slowly withdrawn.

Naruto stiffened his knees against the sudden weakness in them. He clutched at Sasuke's shoulders.

Sasuke seemed intent on what he was doing. He had his other hand braced on Naruto's chest, keeping him still, while that hand continued to travel the same path, over and over. Up Naruto's cock, squeeze, down again, over his balls, between his cheeks, into his ass, where those fingertips brushed that place in Naruto that had his breathing short.

Again and again, one continuous slide of calloused skin over increasingly warm flesh. Each time Sasuke's hand enclosed Naruto's cock it grew harder. Each time it passed over his sac, the pleasure tightened in Naruto's gut. And each time Sasuke's fingers entered him and touched that place, Naruto thought his eyes would cross and stay that way. His newly hairless state amplified the sensations tremendously, short-circuiting his thoughts until he could barely remember anything outside the existence of that hand and what it was doing to him. "Sasuke," he panted. Desperation made his voice thready and weak. "I'm gonna come…"

Sasuke didn't stop or increase his pace. "Do it. Come for me. Come in my hand."

The low intensity of this command had Naruto bucking away from the tree as his body erupted in a sharp burst of release. He bit his lip hard, dug his nails into Sasuke's skin, and rode the short surges in silence. He saw Sasuke cup his hand beneath his gushing tip, saw him catch most of his cum, and colored in embarrassment.

Sasuke straightened up from where he'd been catching his reward. The warm pool of white in his hand was irresistible this time, making him drool heavily. Looking Naruto dead in the eye, he stuck out his tongue and licked his full hand in one long, extravagant swipe of his tongue. Cum ended up smeared on his nose and cheeks, but he licked his hand completely clean. He even licked his lips afterward, still daring Naruto to protest with his unblinking gaze.

"You-" Naruto couldn't speak. This was something new, something they'd never done and, in Naruto's case at least, had never even thought about.

Sasuke leaned in close, giving Naruto a strong whiff of his own jizz. "I love how you taste. I love all your tastes." He swiped cum off his cheek with one finger and held it out to Naruto. "Here. Taste."

Naruto tried to turn his head away. "Fuck no!"

Sasuke taunted him, threatening to wipe the finger on Naruto's face as the latter tried to evade. Somehow they ended up kissing.

"Ugh." Naruto pulled back at once.

"It's not disgusting," Sasuke explained. He was holding Naruto in a tight bear hug. "Nothing about our bodies is disgusting. See?" He pressed his lips, still fragrant, to Naruto's once more.

Naruto wrinkled his nose, but Sasuke was so unashamed, so obviously comfortable with even this level of intimacy, that he found himself relenting. He allowed the touch. Kissed back hesitantly. Then with more enthusiasm as his own taste attracted him. Sasuke murmured as his head slanted this way and that, feeding off Naruto's sudden hunger for his own taste.

"Can you do that hand trick with other body parts?" Naruto broke away to ask.

Sasuke frowned in confusion, but Naruto's gaze was steady. Understanding dawned, and one black brow twitched in amusement. "You're a pervert."

Naruto ignored that. "So can you?"

Sasuke let his hands run over the tanned bare shoulders, noting their increased width, as he thought. "You do know, don't you, that one doesn't typically concentrate chakra to their cock?"

"Uh…if you say so." Naruto blinked innocently. "But you're Uchiha Sasuke. I'd think you, of all people, could do the impossible."

Sasuke basked in the compliment, even knowing that Naruto gave it with the sole intention of making him succeed. Once he got over his persistent shyness over new pleasures, Naruto was utterly shameless in the pursuit of that pleasure, and vocal about it to boot. "I suppose I can try," he said now. "No promises."

Naruto's smile was smug. "You never fail. Kiss me."

Sasuke leaned in and gave a stern kiss to those full lips.

"Mmm, gimme another one."

This was a little ritual they engaged in at least once a day. Sasuke fused his mouth to Naruto's, kissing hungrily, until they slid down the tree and onto the quilt.


A day came when they actually managed to travel several miles. Sasuke was of the inclination that a bit of fun before they started out wouldn't have gone amiss, but when he tried to catch Naruto's eye, the other boy seemed intent on packing up camp. Sasuke let the question go unasked. They made good time, leaping through the seemingly unending forest as they pressed steadily toward Konoha. Sasuke felt the unprecedented hours of celibacy keenly.

That evening, he dutifully spread the quilt after cloaking their spot first. They'd eaten and taken care of any nature calls already, as was their habit. Naruto was stretched on his stomach, teasing Moose with a twig, when Sasuke rolled toward him and kissed him.

Naruto allowed it, but seemed to hold back from responding. At first Sasuke thought he was playing. He tried to kiss him again, with the same result. Sasuke settled for trying to coax him into the mood. It never occurred to him that Naruto didn't want to fuck; despite the break of several hours, Naruto was always hungry for him. A fact he took pride in.

Sasuke watched Naruto ignoring him for several seconds, before putting a hand boldly on his ass. He cupped the solid flesh through the thinning orange material and kneaded strongly. When that seemed to have no effect, he switched to running his hand up and down the muscles of Naruto's back. He leaned in to kiss his shoulder, his hair, his cheek. He licked a warm path up the groove of Naruto's spine, waiting for the telltale hitch of breath and shudder of muscles that signaled Naruto's enjoyment.

It didn't come. If anything, Naruto stiffened.

When Sasuke leaned back to study Naruto's profile, he found him biting his lip and trying not to laugh. Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "What are you doing?"

Naruto turned his head to look at him, sending Moose scampering with a flick of his hand. "Me? Nothing. Was just wondering."

The answer was infuriating in its vagueness, but Sasuke felt relief. "Wondering?" He kept his face and voice bland, as if he couldn't care less. Naruto had scared him when he'd made him think he wasn't interested.

"Wondering if you ever get excited."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, I was thinking today-"

"A dangerous undertaking for you."

Naruto's gaze didn't change. The steady, almost bored look he gave Sasuke suggested that the insult was noted, and that he was not amused.

They might be physically involved, but whether or not they were emotionally involved as well was a topic strictly avoided. They didn't have long conversations, or even storytelling anymore the way they'd done in the shack. Verbal communication was at an unprecedented low between them these days, which had been fine. That Sasuke automatically reverted to his old way of speaking to Naruto was not fine, not after they'd come so far.

It was an accident. They both could tell that this was the case. Naruto waited to see if the comment would be recalled.

It wasn't. But after some silent seconds of private censure, Sasuke dropped his eyes a bit. He didn't want to do anything to make Naruto change his mind about their intimacy.

Naruto accepted the silent apology by continuing to speak as if nothing had happened. The whole episode had given Sasuke a glimpse at Naruto's serious side, something he couldn't recall seeing since before Madara's attack…and even then the glimpses had been brief. He found himself intrigued, and almost missed what was being said.

"-noticed that you always do it the same way. Don't get me wrong, I love how you touch me, and I love the way you make me feel. Was just wondering if, you know…there was more."

"More that we haven't done?" Sasuke was surprised.

"No." Naruto looked at his hands, picking at the dirt under his nails. "I mean…more to you."

"In what way?"

Naruto's lips twisted as he tried to find the right words. "I don't know. Forget it."

"Tell me."

"It's stupid."

"Say it."

Now Naruto blushed, which Sasuke thought was interesting. Was he about to confess to some kind of fetish?

"I was wondering," Naruto began in a subdued voice, "if we…I mean you…couldn't do it a different way today."

A bubble of excitement burst in Sasuke's chest at the thought of Naruto participating so actively at last. He didn't necessarily mind the shyness, since it allowed him power and control over Naruto, but this was good. Very good. His cock twitched to life between his legs as he considered sexual positions. "How? And what does this have to do with me getting excited?"

The blush deepened. "Ugh. Sasuke…forget it, I can't say it."

Sasuke was loath to let the matter drop, all but dying of curiosity. A few minutes of silence ticked by with Sasuke waiting patiently, and Naruto now picking nervously at the quilt. Sasuke continued to wrack his brains, alternating between staring hard at Naruto and wondering what new way he had in mind.

Naruto seemed to gear himself up for something. He took a deep breath, sat up, hesitated. Sasuke saw him nervously chewing his lip. Then Naruto plunked himself down in his lap and went for his mouth.

The kiss was hard, but Sasuke welcomed it. His former excitement had him kissing back furiously, pulling Naruto's hips inward, bending him backward-

Naruto bit him.

It wasn't that big a deal, not even enough to draw blood, but Naruto did it again, harder, and now Sasuke became aware of the way Naruto's fingers were digging into his skin. He tried to pull away. Naruto engineered a fast roll that suddenly had Sasuke on his back. Their lips never lost contact, and now Naruto was all but devouring him. In shock, Sasuke realized that Naruto had his wrists pinned down by his head and that he was rocking his hips on him in a forceful, commanding manner.

Sasuke twisted his head away, gasping for air. "What the h-"

"Come on," Naruto hissed impatiently. "Don't stop now."

But Sasuke pushed him away, then more insistently when Naruto resisted. "What's wrong with you?" he demanded. He got shakily to his feet, glaring down at where Naruto panted.

Naruto surprised him by springing at him and tackling him to the ground again. Sasuke's hand closed over his sword instinctively, until Naruto pleaded in a shaking voice, "I want you, asshole. Now."

"What did you think I was trying to do?" Sasuke ground out. Naruto was mauling his face with bruising kisses. He didn't know how to respond. He was caught between trying to defend himself, and trying to kiss Naruto in turn. He wasn't sure he liked this aggressive side of Naruto.

Finally, Naruto pushed off him in disgust and rolled to his back. He grimaced up at the dark sky. "Fuck."

Gently running his tongue over his bleeding lip, Sasuke winced. "What the hell is the matter with you?"

He expected silence, but Naruto surprised him for the second time that evening by saying, "You're always so…in control all the time."

"So?" He didn't see how that was a bad thing.

"So sometimes I wish you'd lose control with me. Least then I'd know I excite you, that you…that you need me."

Baffled, Sasuke sat up and faced Naruto directly. "I've already said I needed you."

"Yeah, but you probably meant you just need me in your life. I mean need me, need me. Like, all of me. Like...need me more than you need air. Like…" Naruto took a deep breath. "Like I need you."

"What?"

Naruto continued to frown at the sky, remembering his thoughts of a few days ago. "This. All the sex. I'm starting to need it more and more from you. I forced myself to stay away from you today, to keep traveling, just so I could see what would happen to me if I did. It was torture. And you, you just went along like you didn't feel anything." Naruto sat up and faced Sasuke too now. "Look, I know we do it all the time, but you're never…wild. I think if I said I wanted to stop doing it for a week you'd be totally cool with that." This last had the hint of a question to it. Naruto was staring down at his hands now.

Sasuke blinked slowly. Anger worked its way past his shock and cooling arousal. "You are unbelievable." His voice was a low whisper. "Wasn't I throwing myself at you in the shack? Didn't I beg you to give me a second chance? Didn't I go out of my way to…to…" He'd gotten to his feet and now stood rigidly. When the right word came to him, he spat it at Naruto like an accusation. "To seduce you into being with me again? What the fuck was all that if not need? Don't I always tell you? What more do you want from me?" He didn't wait for an answer, but stalked off into the night.

"I want to feel it," Naruto whispered. Sasuke's anger hurt him. All he'd done was be honest.

Sasuke seemed to hear this just before the darkness of the forest swallowed him. He hesitated, glancing over his shoulder, before continuing into the trees.

-oOo-

Naruto lay down, sorry he'd opened his mouth. He should have continued to keep the thoughts to himself, but that need just kept twisting tighter and tighter. Today, he'd been sure he'd go crazy…and desperately hoping that by holding out, Sasuke would attack him. He'd even managed to keep in his response when Sasuke finally touched him tonight, but Sasuke was his usual collected self.

He resented that. Why did he have to be the only one slowly losing his marbles? Most of all, he was scared of what it meant that Sasuke never seemed to lose control around him.


An hour of Sasuke slashing angrily at passing trees finally had him grimacing at the way he was ruining his blade. He stopped stalking through the forest long enough to fish a small whetstone out of an equally small pocket sewn into the waistband of his pants. He sat and began repairing the damage he'd done in long, sure strokes. This familiar motion had the effect of letting his anger simmer down.

The question he should be asking, he reasoned to himself, was what he wanted from Naruto. He couldn't deny that he'd like for Naruto to be more involved in their lovemaking. But he also liked dominating him so completely. He liked the way Naruto mewled and squirmed when they were done for the night and ready to sleep. He liked the way Naruto demanded more, or harder, or faster, confident that Sasuke would satisfy him completely.

Still, Naruto never asked. Not after that first time on the quilt. Sasuke had never given him a reason to, always approaching him, but now he realized that he'd needed that. He needed to know Naruto wanted him as much as Naruto wanted tangible evidence of Sasuke's desire for him. Suddenly it wasn't enough for Naruto to just respond to him. He wanted words, avowals, and protestations of undying love.

But Naruto was always most shy about vocalizing feelings of any sort. What was the fool afraid of? Seriously?

He replayed Naruto's most recent words, feeling the same hot roll of emotion in his gut that he'd felt when Naruto had said them. Need me more than you need air, like I need you. That's what he'd said. It had been beyond his wildest dreams to hear Naruto say that. He didn't even think Naruto was aware of granting him his wish. Sasuke well remembered that day he'd come back from mourning Itachi and screamed similar words to him. He'd wanted precisely this from Naruto, and now he had it. But now he also wanted more. He wanted it all.

If he's giving you at least part of what you wanted, why'd you run off?

Good question. It wasn't that Naruto refused to see what was in front of his stupid face, Sasuke admitted. That bugged him, but what really had him by the balls was just how serious Naruto's statement had been. How Naruto could be so deeply insightful sometimes, while being a Grade A nutcase the rest of the time, Sasuke never knew. It was as if the serious, insightful Naruto was the real person and everything else was just a disguise.

That was an unnerving thought.

Stop avoiding the subject.

The whetstone gave its muted, metallic hiss as Sasuke faced the fact that they weren't just former team mates who'd fallen out and were now passing time having sex while they went back home. He'd been conscious of wanting Naruto for a long time. He'd waited for the feelings to be reciprocated for just as long. In the haze of their sex-filled days he'd pushed this knowledge aside, but now was not the time to turn coward when Naruto was beginning to come around.

I just don't know if I'm really ready for this.

But that was more cowardice. It was okay for him to yell about his feeling in a fit of anger, but when it came down to doing the same thing without such a shield, he was all of a sudden too weak to deal? Like hell.

He put the sword and whetstone away. Looking back toward camp, Sasuke's lips thinned into a resolute line.


Naruto only knew he'd fallen asleep when he felt Sasuke tugging the quilt away from him. He cursed at the loss of heat, but then Sasuke's warm body was there, settling in next to him as he wrapped the quilt around them both. He was still mostly asleep when he felt Sasuke's arms come around him and his lips press against his ear.

"Tell me what you want," Sasuke whispered.

His breath was so nice and hot. Naruto shivered pleasantly, snuggling into the welcoming heat. Just wanted it rough for once, for you to show me how much you want me. He was dimly aware of Sasuke going still, but his brain was already fogging with sleep again, lulled by Sasuke's heat.

"Rough it is then, dobe."

Naruto realized he'd spoken his thought out loud at the same moment that Sasuke bit his ear sharply. Naruto's eyes flew open.

-oOo-

Unquestionably, this time would be different. That was evident immediately.

Not just because Naruto had asked for it rough, or because Sasuke was doing his best to comply…but because the request hinted at other things that weren't being said. This was something they were both aware of. They wrestled on the quilt, rolling, grabbing, but all the while aware that something had been laid bare with Naruto's plea. It quivered between them at being exposed, as yet unaddressed.

And maybe it was because of this that Sasuke broke off their breathless kiss. He fisted one hand tightly in the hairs on top of Naruto's head, nose to nose with him. "Tell me again. That thing you said earlier," he panted.

Still painfully aware of the exposed thing, Naruto didn't pretend ignorance. Maybe it was time to just come clean. Besides, the throbbing intensity of Sasuke's voice made him want to answer. "I need you. I need you," he said again when Sasuke demanded it a second time.

Sasuke lowered his face to just short of kissing him. Their lips grazed each other. "How much?"

"All the time. I can't stop."

"I don't want you to stop. Don't. Don't ever stop."

This close, their stare was almost unendurable. It was as if they could see the exposed thing that trembled between them. It was there, on the tip of their tongues to name it, to acknowledge it once and for all. Sasuke, never shy about saying what he felt to Naruto, was ready. Naruto, on the other hand, lost his nerve at the last second, and dropped his eyes.

Sasuke understood. He was a bit hesitant himself, if he was honest. And Naruto had already given him a lot by saying he needed him. He initiated a soul-searing kiss, positively bestial with it. Naruto's words did more to rouse his aggression than the request for rough sex. Those words were a warm weight in his chest that sent his blood racing, and he was glad he'd manned up while he'd been in the forest. Scary as this development was, he wouldn't have missed it for anything.

He never seemed to get enough of Naruto's mouth. The feel of it on his, the taste of his lips and tongue, the way Naruto always kissed him back with everything he had. Naruto's lips were juicy, yet so firm and hungry for him. Their heads slanted in perfect time. A strong hand threaded itself through Sasuke's hair, dragging him closer, but he was already moving on.

A hand sufficed to hold Naruto's head turned aside, while Sasuke ran his teeth down the prominent cord in the other boy's neck. He bit. Not quite hard enough to bleed, but almost. Naruto's firm skin heated in arousal, accompanied by a low groan for more. Sasuke gave him what he wanted. He left a discolored trail of harsh hickies down to Naruto's nipple, where he sucked strongly for several moments. He nipped with his teeth, gnawed on the bunched muscles, and left shallow scratches in the wake of his teeth, before biting his way down the rippled abs. He let his tongue swirl around Naruto's navel, teasing. Naruto grunted throughout, encouraging him to do more. Panting in urgency just as hard as Naruto now, Sasuke sat up.

Naruto caught his lip between his teeth when Sasuke whisked his pants off, leaving him bare for his dark gaze. He lay quiet, unembarrassed, as Sasuke judged his aching erection. At seeing Sasuke's eyes glitter in approval, Naruto grew harder, now beginning to leak.

Sasuke reached out abruptly and slapped Naruto's cock.

The sharp sting caught Naruto by surprise, but he couldn't hide the fact that his cock swelled even more, filling with blood and desire. Sasuke saw this. Steadying the waving member with one hand, he slapped it again. Then again, harder.

"Fuck…yes," Naruto muttered. His hips strained upward at another slap.

"That what you want?" Sasuke whispered. His eyes never left Naruto's as he delivered another blow. "Huh?" Slap. "This how you want it?" Slap. His own dick was rock hard, as if he could feel the blows himself.

Naruto was gasping. "…Yeah."

"Can't hear you." Slap.

"Yes!" His cock pulsed and throbbed, running steadily. "Yes, dammit!"

"What about here?" Sasuke aimed a casual slap at Naruto's tight balls.

Naruto arched off the quilt on a curse. That last had almost been too painful to be pleasurable. Almost. He stared at Sasuke through narrowed eyes, sucking in air between his teeth.

Sasuke only had eyes for the proud, glistening pillar of flesh that rose from Naruto's groin. He stared at it, rubbing Naruto's thighs absently, kneading the tense muscles there. Naruto gradually calmed down. When he did, Sasuke gave in to an idea that wouldn't go away. He'd been visited by the idea more and more often since tasting Naruto's cum. He glanced up at the blue eyes watching him, wondering what Naruto would think…before he leaned forward and closed his mouth around the wet tip of Naruto's cock.

"Fuck-!" Naruto sat up reflexively, stiff at the heat of Sasuke's mouth.

Sasuke's tongue, faintly abrasive, rasped around the sensitive glans on his cockhead before flattening itself. His dark head slid lower. Naruto felt his cock bump the back of Sasuke's throat, felt Sasuke swallow, and then he was falling back from his sitting position. He gave himself up entirely to this new sensation.

Naruto thought he was dying. His entire body wept with pleasure, quaking and convulsing at the greedy, noisy, demanding onslaught of Sasuke's mouth. The slurping sounds were long and loud. The suction was unspeakable. Naruto helplessly yanked Sasuke's head down on him by a fistful of his hair at the same moment he shoved his own hips upward. This pleasure was painful, the kind of sweet pain that tore hoarse screams from his throat as Sasuke stopped just before he could come.

Sasuke dragged Naruto's hand out of his hair. He held on to the hand as he moved up Naruto's body, lapping up isolated beads of sweat, until he was lying on the younger boy's chest. He braced his weight on his palms and looked down.

Naruto linked his hands behind Sasuke's neck and pulled him in for a kiss, famished for Sasuke's mouth. The taste of his cock on Sasuke's tongue damn near drove him wild this time. He sucked at that taste and the lingering traces of precum eagerly.

-oOo-

They tumbled headlong into the first true taste of their passion for each other. The thing that had trembled between them now unfolded velvety wings and surrounded them both. It dragged them down into a dark well of unbelievable pleasure. They were mad with it, punching, kissing, biting, sucking, pulling, and caressing as they rolled this way and that. They gave in to it completely.

It wasn't until now that either of them had ever really appreciated the act they'd engaged in so recklessly to date. Before, they'd just been teenage boys indulging themselves. Tonight they'd gone a considerable ways towards admitting the deeper meaning of their connection to themselves, if not to each other. Still, it was there, the trembling thing, and they knew it. Now, in this moment, on this night, was when they took the first steps toward becoming men. To really setting aside embarrassment, shame, insecurity, and the last vestiges of their violent, negative history. They had a ways to go yet, had much growing up to do, but it was a start.

There were apologies in the way Sasuke clutched Naruto's body hard enough to hurt. Forgiveness in the way Naruto raked his nails down the sides of Sasuke's face. Acceptance of each other was in the way Sasuke kissed Naruto furiously, kissed him until they couldn't breathe. It was in the way Naruto locked his arms around that broad back, in the way they sucked in each other's breath. It was in the moisture their eyes were squeezed tightly shut against. And finally it was in the way they broke apart at last with a sigh, foreheads together.

Sasuke grasped the sides of Naruto's face, running his thumbs over the wet cheeks to dry them. He didn't comment on the tears, since his own eyes were wet. "I've been working on that thing you asked about." His voice was barely audible.

Naruto responded in kind, heart still hammering against his ribs. Sasuke's lashes brush his nose. "What thing?"

Sasuke shifted, and Naruto eyes glazed over as the fiery brand that was Sasuke's cock slid deep inside the sweaty cavern of his ass. "Oh my f-"

He came. Right then, when Sasuke entered him he came all in a rush, his entire lower body rising off the quilt. Sasuke leaned back and caught his hips. He held them, watching as Naruto opened and closed his mouth soundlessly.

The heat was incredible, quickly warming them both until they were drenched with sweat. What was more, Sasuke hands were now nearly hot enough to brand Naruto's skin. Naruto writhed at the heat, both inside and out, keening for Sasuke to fuck him already.

Sasuke began a wild, fierce tempo. He yanked Naruto's hips toward him each time he thrust, doubling the impact. Naruto was unable to get leverage, partially elevated as he was, and Sasuke took blatant advantage. He set a punishing rhythm that had them swirling in the dark eddies of their pleasure once more.

Naruto stared into Sasuke's eyes, wrapping his legs around those lean hips. He held the gaze as Sasuke pounded away at him hard enough to make their sweat fly. He took it. He took it and felt the ridiculous heat of that cock melting the rest of him, setting fire to his insides as his body coiled itself in preparation to coming yet again.

Sasuke lowered them both to the quilt once more. Those hot hands of his were everywhere, matching the intensity of that hammering cock. When one closed around Naruto's shaft, his orgasm was suddenly right there, ready to burst from him. He didn't think he could take a second time, not so soon. He was still dizzy from the last one…but he didn't care. Just then he didn't care what Sasuke did to him, so long as he didn't stop. God, let him never stop looking at him like that, or touching him like this.


Morning found Sasuke alone on the quilt with Moose perched on his stomach. He blinked up at the sun, eyes bleary and grainy from exhaustion. The last thing he remembered was coming for what felt like the hundredth time, and slumping against Naruto's back as daybreak lightened the sky.

He judged it to be mid-morning, not yet noon, and sat up with a wince; Naruto had been a demon last night. Least I gave as good as I got. He sensed Naruto off in the distance somewhere, probably relieving himself. There was a handful of nuts left on the quilt for him to eat; the last of their food. They'd need to hunt again soon.

He flopped backward again and spent a few minutes reliving last night, absently scratching between Moose's ears.

They'd never had a night like that. Or a day. Nothing they'd done had ever come close to the level of intimacy they'd shared last night. He was still shaken by it, but no longer afraid. Where would they go from here? He wondered. They'd definitely turned a corner in their relationship. They may have pretended to be carefree about it all before last night, but now…no.

Itachi had asked him if he loved Naruto. He hadn't had an answer then. Not one he'd been capable of recognizing. His feelings would not be ignored or denied now, and he blinked calmly up at the canopy of trees as he acknowledged them.

It was a strange feeling. Unpleasant in its burning intensity, yet more than pleasant when he thought of Naruto returning them. He was sure about that now. Completely. All that remained now was to see how Naruto would handle this new depth to their relationship. He found it fascinating that he never knew if he was going to get the dumb Naruto or the serious one from one moment to the next. He wasn't sure which approach he preferred right now. On the one hand, he was fine with keeping things the way they were–things were just less complicated that way. On the other hand, they were headed to Konoha, and things were complicated there. He wanted their feelings out in the open, settled, and squared away before they reached the village.

Later. Whenever. Maybe soon. Right now, he felt good. Peaceful. Better than he'd felt in too long.

-oOo-

Naruto strolled back to camp with a fawn slung over one shoulder. He seemed to be carrying his pants in the crook of one arm. Once Naruto dropped the fawn, Sasuke saw why. The pants held a few dozen strawberries, probably the very last of the season. He examined them a moment, before looking up at Naruto, who was now putting on his pants.

He didn't have long to wait.

Naruto turned and gave him a dazzling grin, smiling directly into his eyes. We're good, the smile said.

Trust Naruto to both acknowledge and ignore their breakthrough all in the same gesture, Sasuke thought in bemusement. That was Naruto to a T.

The fawn was cleaned, the meat cut into strips, and the strawberries eaten by the time they set out shortly after noon. They walked in silence, with Naruto leading, all that day. For a wonder, Naruto rolled against Sasuke that night and slept immediately. Sasuke would have commented if he wasn't already snoring himself.


A few days passed like that. They needed the time to adjust, to feel their way around the new intimacy, and the enormity of it. While they did, nothing more taxing then sleep went on at night. They slept in each other's arms, firmly entwined, but that was all they did.

Naruto finally looked across at Sasuke one day at a stream and said, "About that night…"

"Thought it spoke for itself?"

"Yeah."

"I didn't mind it."

"Me either."

There was a pause, as they tried to put their feelings into words, but they gave up. It was clear neither of them had the language to convey what had happened. There was no easy way of closing the door on their turbulent childhoods, no neat way to say The End to the saga of their angry past. At last Naruto ducked his head sheepishly. Sasuke looked aside.

They spent a few minutes washing up, splashing the frigid water up their arms and over their necks. Sasuke thought about declaring himself, but settled for, "Didn't mind what you said, either."

Naruto went still.

"You know, about needing me." Sasuke risked a glance in Naruto's direction. "I need you too, Naruto. You know that, right?"

Naruto nodded stiffly, face red, but when they resumed walking later, Sasuke could tell that he was more relaxed. That night, the last of the tension seemed to drain from them both. They began talking again. Really talking, saying the things they'd never said when they were a team, or even in the shack. This, they had the words for. For their beginning. A torrent of words, hours of listening, eagerness to communicate with each other at last. They sat side by side near their fire as they opened up.

Later, they slept. And when they woke that night, it was to find themselves already moving together, joined, hands clasped and lips locked. It was a sweet, unhurried initiation into the adult territory of really being together.


A few days of this dreamy closeness followed them around. Perhaps a week or so. Sometimes they held hands during the day while they walked and talked, though Sasuke was uncomfortable with this. Just holding hands felt weird to him. More intimate than having sex, but Naruto insisted. Personally, Sasuke considered himself as not being the hand-holding type. Or the hugging type, whenever Naruto spontaneously threw his arms around him.

Sometimes they set aside traveling altogether in favor of activities on the quilt, as was their habit. At night they were inseparable, Sasuke wringing echoing cries of release from Naruto before they collapsed. Conversation came more easily to them now, but there was nothing pressing they felt had to be discussed, not after the night they'd spent talking. They said enough with the hand-holding, and the stormy embraces, and the devouring kisses.

It was during one of their midday stops for lunch that the toad Naruto had sent to Tsunade with the letters popped into being. It appeared between Sasuke and Naruto, starling Moose into bolting for the bushes. "Yo, Naruto!"

Naruto's face split into a grin as he responded with an equally noisy greeting. Sasuke watched as a scroll was handed over, listened as the toad said he'd been waiting all this time for The Hokage's reply, and waited while Naruto hurriedly scanned the contents of the scroll. "Good news!" Naruto crowed. He waved the scroll in Sasuke's face. "Granny got the council to give you a hearing!"

Sasuke couldn't help his own smile. Tension he hadn't known he'd been holding drained from his shoulders. "What else does it say?" He'd just about forgotten that he'd written to her.

Naruto read quickly. "Not much. Said this was the best she could do, and your freedom is co-con-contingent on the outcome of the hearing, but that your letter was very persav-per-persuasive. Jounin will be there. Stuff like that. War's over, everyone's re-building. Nothing else except a bunch of crap about bringing my ass back to the village right now, with you, before she has a team of hunter-nin sent out for us. Lemme write her back."

Naruto fished their writing materials out of their bag and scribbled a reply in a corner of the scroll. Sasuke caught the words: We're coming as fast as we can, goddammit. You just keep up your end like you promised. And have ramen waiting.

The toad grumbled a bit about being overworked, but disappeared with the letter good-naturedly enough. Naruto sat staring at the spot it had occupied, grinning like an idiot. Then he beamed at Sasuke. "We should celebrate."

-oOo-

It was decided that they would take the rest of the day off from traveling. Sasuke rolled his eyes at this weak excuse to spread the quilt, but didn't complain. After, when they were catching their breath, he thought about the fact that they would be in Konoha soon. Again, he considered stating things in no uncertain terms, but just then something occurred to him. It wasn't something he'd thought of since before Madara's attack, but with the news from Konoha fresh in his mind, Sasuke turned to Naruto and said, "What did you tell Hinata? After her confession, I mean."

Naruto shrugged. "Nothing. Why?"

"Nothing? What do you mean, nothing?"

"Just nothing. Hey, do you want to-"

Sasuke sat up. "Wait…she said she loved you. And you didn't say anything? At all?"

Naruto spoke as if to a child. "No-o-o. Was busy going Kyuubi, remember? Had a fight on my hands? Pain? Remember him?"

"After!"

"Oh." Naruto ignored the shout. "Yeah, I didn't say anything to her." He resumed staring at the sky, stifling a yawn. It was many minutes before he realized that Sasuke was staring at him as if he'd grown another head. "What?"

"You never said anything to her," Sasuke said flatly. "She told you she loved you, and I remember you saying that was the first time anyone had said those words to you, and you just left her hanging. All this time."

Naruto propped himself on his elbows, frowning in puzzlement. "What's the big deal?"

Abruptly Sasuke got up and began jerking on his pants. He was reluctant to ruin the nice, easygoing companionship of the past week, but he reasoned that his mood had already ruined it anyway. "You, that's what. Someone comes along, dies for you, sacrifices themselves for you, saves you, and tells you they love you, and you just…ignore it. I know you have your hang-ups about intimacy, but that? To just not tell her anything ever, to not even acknowledge what she said and did?" Sasuke stood still now, appalled to realize that what he was feeling had a healthy dose of disgust mixed in it. This was not how he wanted to view Naruto, but he was powerless not to. He slowly shook his head now in disbelief. "I would never have believed it of you. Never. Not you. You're the most loyal person I know, the one who elevates his friends to the highest status possible…and you essentially shat all over her sacrifice and declaration."

Naruto stared. Then got to his feet, a fierce frown of consternation on his face. "Sasuke, no, it wasn't-"

"Do you have any idea how hard that must have been for her? To say that, to put herself out there like that? And you…you just…" Sasuke closed his mouth, grimacing as if he tasted something horrible. When he looked at Naruto again, it was as if he was looking at a stranger. His dark eyes raked Naruto up and down in disdain. "I'm ashamed of you."

"Wha-!"

"You know, it's a good thing I heard about this now. The next person to tell you they love you would probably get the same treatment and it would have come as a big shock."

Naruto's brow cleared. Sasuke wasn't upset over Hinata and his supposed treatment of her. This wasn't about Hinata at all. This was about something a lot closer to home. He glared at where Sasuke was turning away with that condemning look still on his face, suddenly enraged.

"Yeah. Go. Go do your thing and feel all superior, like you usually do," he seethed. Sasuke turned halfway around to look at him. "Not like I'd expect you to understand my side of things. I mean, you're the one who's always right, right? I'm the dumb one. Makes no difference that there was nothing I could say to her. That what she said and did were too big for me to even think about. That saying 'thank you', would have been the ultimate dishonor for us both because it wouldn't have been enough. Nowhere near enough. Forget the fact that she would have expected some kind of similar response from me. Something, even if it was just hope that someday I'd return her feelings. Yeah, forget all that. Forget that I had to leave it alone, because that was the kindest thing I could do. Anything else would have hurt her, and I'd kill myself before doing that."

The look of contempt was certainly wiped from Sasuke's face by the end of this speech. He stood looking thoughtfully at the ground between them, a slight frown on his face. Naruto was past caring, insulted as he'd never been in his life. He started to leave, then swung back.

"Oh, and the next person to say they love me wouldn't go unanswered, just so you know. Not if the next person to say it is who I want it to be. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't respond to Hinata to give her an answer one way or the other, but she's not the one I've spent four years of my life chasing. She's not the one I've been thinking about day and night for years. Not the one I shared my chakra with, or nursed back to health, or bared my soul to. She's not even the one who really did save me from death. I don't melt when she touches me, and I don't get hard when she says my name. When she looks at me, I know she's not thinking of fucking me, and I certainly don't think about her. My mind's pretty full with one thing, one person, and it isn't her. So I think I can be forgiven for not responding," he finished with a sneer. "Trust me, the next person to say those words to me would be getting a lot more than silence."

He disappeared.


When he didn't show up the next day, Sasuke was forced to conclude that he'd done the impossible: offended Naruto. It was good that Naruto didn't show up the following day either, because he needed that time to figure out how the fuck he could have put his foot in his mouth so thoroughly. He'd spoken without thinking, and that was not something he ever did.

A memory surfaced while he sat on the quilt during those days. Sakura, and the way she'd declared herself as he was leaving the village. He'd thanked her more for her willingness to help him with his goals than for confessing her feelings, so really he was just as guilty as Naruto. Worse, since he'd later tried to kill her.

And then there was everything else Naruto had said. Indirectly. About thinking of him, dreaming of him for years. Day and night. He hadn't missed the way Naruto had flung his own words at him either, about melting and getting hard. He kept coming back to that one sentence, though, that last thing Naruto had said, about the next person who confessed their feelings would get a hell of a lot more than silence. And it was clear that the next person had better be Sasuke. There'd been the tiniest hint of a threat in Naruto's words, as if he'd also been saying that after this, it was the only way he'd forgive Sasuke for saying what he'd said.

Had he really said he was ashamed of Naruto? Sasuke was ashamed of himself right then.

But then he got angry. He'd never had a problem telling Naruto his feelings. He'd made it clear how he felt, and he was no whining Hyuuga to let the matter drop. Naruto was the one that needed to get with the program.

-oOo

Naruto showed up on the third day, catching Sasuke as he'd been about to go hunting. Sasuke tried to assess the neutral look on Naruto's face, but wasn't given a chance to.

"Figured you strike out for Konoha on your own while I was gone," Naruto said without preamble. "Would have caught up to you. We got lost time to make up." He turned and leapt into the trees.

Grimacing, Sasuke followed. He wasn't about to let this matter be swept under the rug.

Naruto also wanted to talk about it. He had been furious, but he was over it now. He'd been over it an hour after he left Sasuke. He'd only stayed away so long in the hopes that Sasuke would come after him. A quick glance behind himself to where Sasuke was following, showed the older boy to be more subdued than usual. He wondered if Sasuke was even sorry. Maybe he thought Naruto was still mad at him? I'm not apologizing for anything, Naruto thought as he faced forward again. Sick of his high and mighty bullshit.

Still, the loss of their halcyon days was a wrench to both of them. Seemed they would never be able to get along smoothly and just be at peace. It was the story of their lives, that they seemed destined to rub each other wrong at every other turn.

At night, they slept apart on opposite sides of the quilt. Naruto missed Sasuke's body something fierce, but refused to be the first to unbend. Sasuke felt that Naruto owed him certain words. Pride assisted him with this reasoning. He supposed he owed Naruto an apology, but that would only come once Naruto had given in. When Naruto came around, he would be ready to show him in a number of ways how sorry he was.

Naruto did indeed break the standoff between them, but not the way Sasuke had imagined or hoped.


They dropped from the trees they'd been traveling through for weeks now, finally at the end of the interminable forest. They had no idea where they were, but the plain seemed to stretch on forever. Dusk as it was, they couldn't be sure. What had their attention riveted was a farmhouse visible on the horizon. It was dark against the pink and purple sky, no lights visible whatsoever. By unspoken agreement they decided to investigate.

No one answered their knock. The modest gardens around the house seemed to already have been harvested. The house was utterly silent. Naruto found the door unlocked, and guessed that the place was abandoned. He went inside.

Not abandoned, but maybe not lived in year round. A cursory inspection of the two floors revealed clothing in the closets, male and female, and dry goods in the kitchen. There was a cellar with jars of homemade jam and the like, but nothing perishable. There was no firewood anywhere for the large fireplace in the living room downstairs, so maybe this was a summer residence. Winters out here would be harsh, with no village or other people for miles around. Obviously, whoever lived here wasn't rich enough to afford appliances like a fridge or electricity. The bathroom was a pungent outhouse behind the main structure, and the bathtub was a huge, wooden, tin-lined thing that leaned against the kitchen wall.

Naruto had a candle he'd found and lit. He stopped in the living room and turned in a slow circle, taking in the threadbare rug, broken shutters, and cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling.

Sasuke stood by the battered sofa and scooped Moose out of the bag he carried him in whenever they were traveling. He set him on the floor. As he was straightening up, he found Naruto looking at him. Directly looking at him for the first time in weeks.

"I think," Naruto said quietly, "that once we reach Konoha and things are settled for you and everything, that I'm going to take an extended visit to Suna. Granny mentioned once that if the war and everything were ever squared away, I could spend a year there learning how Gaara handles his Kage duties, and then receive the rest of my education directly from her."

Sasuke blinked. "So you're going to wash your hands of me once we reach Konoha, is that it? Is that what you're trying to say?"

Naruto didn't hesitate. "That's exactly what I'm saying. I would have done my part. Brought you back. Saw that you weren't executed. I'd finally be free to live my life, all promises kept. Why on earth should I stay? Gimme one good reason."

That was Sasuke's cue. They both knew it. Sasuke thought the top of his head would blow off in rage at the way Naruto was trying to manipulate him. Before he could respond, Naruto went on.

"You know, I've gone pretty far for you, Sasuke. And that was all while you were against me, trying to kill me, running away from me. I've literally died trying to reach you, and you can't even say you're sorry. You can't even do that much, so don't look so surprised at me leaving you. Better than me spending any more time chasing you. I'm done. I see how it is, how this will probably end. You'll probably leave me the way you leave everyone. It's your MO. You left the team, the village, Orochimaru, and even Madara. That's all you do is leave. I'd be stupid to trust that you'd…that you wouldn't eventually leave the village again. Better if I go first, so I don't have to see it."

And just like that, everything was clear to Sasuke. Everything about Naruto that he'd never understood before. How he could be serious and intelligent one moment, and dense as fuck the next. Naruto wasn't dense in the slightest.

He was scared.

Right then, Sasuke understood that the number one loudmouth, unpredictable, indomitable, fearless, and determined ninja lived with some pretty intense insecurities. Judging from the way he'd grown up, and how everyone he'd ever gotten close to seemed to get ripped away from him, Sasuke supposed it wasn't surprising. It explained why he never asked for anything, why he never discussed feelings, and why he classified all relationships under the safe umbrella of friendship.

Naruto didn't want an apology, not really. He just wanted to be reassured. The whole thing with Hinata took on a completely different light now, and Sasuke was doubly ashamed of himself. He should have seen all this sooner. He should have seen the real reason behind why Naruto had chased him so long, so hard, for so many years. Imagining the level of fear Naruto must live with, Sasuke felt his heart undergo an uncharacteristic spasm of pity and protectiveness.

However.

"You haven't given me a chance or a reason to go to the lengths you've gone to for me," he said now. "But I will say this: if you think I'm going to let you walk out on me, you're gravely mistaken. I'm not letting you go anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. You leave, and I'll be right there shadowing your every move, asshole. I don't give a fuck if you trust me or not, but you don't get to just hand me over and skip out. You wouldn't be running because you're pissed at me anyway, but because of your cowardice. You're too chicken shit to say what needs to be said."

Seeing that Naruto's face was mulish with a stinging comeback, Sasuke went on in a slightly calmer tone. He took a step closer to Naruto.

"I get it, Naruto. Everyone you've ever been attached to in your life has left. Gone. Dead. I've told you in I don't know how many ways, including out right, that you're important to me. But you're not going to trust that, or me, until I say the rest, is that it? Fine. I can be the bigger man here, so listen up, dobe." Sasuke closed the distance between them and dragged Naruto's face up to his by a tight handful of his hair. "I love you. There, you happy? I'm not afraid to say it. I love you. I'm in love with you, and nothing you say or do is going to change that. You'll piss me off till I murder you in your sleep, but even so you're not getting rid of me, and I'm not going anywhere. Now tell me you understand."

Naruto, currently dying in a flash fire of emotion that effectively choked off all speech, nodded. He tried to pull their faces together for a kiss, but Sasuke stopped him. "I'm not going to force you to say it back if you're not ready." But he waited.

"Kiss me."

Sasuke pulled him by the hair and kissed him to hide his disappointment. The candle fell to the floor and went out.

"Mmm, gimme another one."

Sasuke tried to do more than that, but Naruto was there, grabbing him in the dark. He pulled Sasuke against him, and lifted him in the full turmoil of his chaotic emotions. The weeks of their separation sharpened their need until it was nigh unbearable. Naruto slung Sasuke over his shoulder, and bounded up the stairs three at a time until he reached the main bedroom. He walked to the bed, and dropped Sasuke onto it.


For a while, there was only the muffled sound of their kissing as they each tried to take Sasuke's pants off. They touched and groaned, indulging in several moments of hot and heavy foreplay, until Naruto pinned Sasuke beneath him again, and said, "I want it the other way around tonight." He pressed kisses to Sasuke's eyes.

"What, you mean doggy style?" Sasuke latched on to Naruto's chin, sucking briefly.

Naruto left a hickie on Sasuke's jaw. "No, I mean me-on-top style."

"Cowboy?" Sasuke nipped his nose.

"No. I want to, you know…fuck you and shit."

Sasuke reared up on his elbows, dislodging Naruto. "What?"

"What?"

Sasuke didn't believe the look of innocence on Naruto's face for an instant. "No."

"Yes," Naruto countered.

"I don't bottom."

Naruto understood the term immediately. "So? You can make an exception."

"Why should I? What we were doing works well enough. Besides, I shouldn't have to say I love you and bottom all in one night. Some payback is in order here."

Naruto stretched out on his stomach beside Sasuke and propped his chin in a hand. He idly traced the pattern on the blanket with one finger. "I guess this means I'm better than you," he commented.

"How so?" He found it very interesting that Naruto had needed the words so badly from him, and yet he himself kept ignoring them. Whatever scars Naruto had suffered from his isolation growing up must be deep indeed, Sasuke thought.

"Well," Naruto drawled. "You're always saying how anything I can do, you can do ten times better. If you can't bottom like I do, then I guess I'm better. You can give it but can't take it. Sad." He yawned, as if the discussion was over, and put his head down on his arms.

Sasuke studied him. Naruto's bronzed ass looked white in the moonlight. He stared at it. "We're talking about just this one time, right?"

Naruto was sitting up at once. "If that's all you can handle, I understand. Not everyone is as strong as me and can take-"

"Stop trying to use psychology on me. You suck at it. I'm being serious. You just want to do this once? Do I have that right?"

"Why does it have to be only once? As many times as you've fucked me I should get-"

"Not everyone likes it the other way around."

"How would you know? You've only done it the one way with me." Seeing the way Sasuke avoided his eyes, Naruto frowned. "Wait…I am the only guy you've been with, right?"

Sasuke's face went blank, but he had nothing to hide. "There was a boy. Orochimaru paid him to service me." He studied Naruto's frown, wondering if this would come between them when they'd just made up. "He meant nothing to me. He was just a warm body."

It gave Naruto a nauseated feeling to imagine Sasuke touching someone else the way he touched him. He swallowed hard. "Did you love him?"

"Not remotely."

"Oh." That was different then. "Did you bottom for him?"

"No," Sasuke admitted, "but I know I won't like it."

Naruto was silent, looking down for a few moments. Then his face cleared. "So it's like you're a virgin too. That ass is mine. I'm claiming it here and now." When Sasuke just continued to stare at him, he added, "Come on, please?"

"Why do you want to do this so much?"

Now Naruto reddened self-consciously. "Because. It feels amazing when you do it to me. I just want to make you feel the same way. To show you how much I…want to please you," he finished in embarrassment.

It wasn't the answer Sasuke expected. He's too fucked up to say he loves me. There was really no response he could make to that. Left without a ready comeback, he was caught gaping at Naruto.

"I mean, we're sharing everything about ourselves, right? No more drama?" Naruto pressed. "So why can't you share this with me too?"

Sasuke stalled. "So…you're not upset about the other boy?"

"What other boy?"

He plays dumb when something hurts, Sasuke understood in a flash of insight. "And this is just this one time?"

"If it has to be, I'll take what I can get."

"Fine. On one condition."

"Name it." Naruto bounced closer in his happiness at winning.

"If I 'share' this with you, I get something in return."

"What?"

"Rimming."

Naruto wracked his brains, but could not match an act to the word. Must be something new, then. "Fine. So we have a deal?"

Sasuke chewed his bottom lip a moment. "Yeah, okay. Deal."

Naruto was on him at once, pressing him back against the pillows. "I'm glad you agreed," he whispered. He let his engorged cock rest against Sasuke's thigh. "I'm dying to show you that you are not, in fact, the bigger man."