She was always by herself. After being kicked out of the A-list she just isolated herself. She never tried to make any new friends. I tried to be nice and invite her over to hang but I guess she's still distrustful of other's intentions. Besides she likes my best friend.
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I always see her alone. Even in a crowd of people you can tell she's alone. Nobody tries to talk to her. It gets to me how she's obviously hurting but nobody can see that. Then again I can't really talk. I see it but I don't take action. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I try and she shoots me down. Even when I just wanna make sure she's ok.
My friends don't like her much. Just because she hunts ghost her own way. They think she's terrible, too driven, ruthless. News flash, we do the same thing. They think she's using me but honestly, I don't mind. As long as she's not by herself. As long as she's interacting with people. I try to make her laugh but I can tell it's forced.
I don't call her out on it because I know that's not what she needs. It will only close her off that much more. I try to convince my friends she's not all that bad. Just like anyone our age she's going through a rough patch. Only difference is she get supped up toys to use in her misplaced aggression.
I can tell she's entered the room because all the colors seem to dull around her. She may smile on the outside and talk to other people but I can tell. It's all robotic. There's no real feeling behind her actions. When I look at her she looks so...gray. No pun intended. Not all hope is lost though. I can see some life behind her steely gaze. There's still some color to her. It's just really dull. Muted. Toned down.
I know that to her I'm just an unfunny nerd in a stupid barrette trying way too hard. But if it will get her to feel anything that's fine. Even though she's crushing on my best friend and he looks like he's kinda crushing back, I'm not gonna ruin it for her. I know I have no chance with her. But I will try my damnedest to be the one friend she can count on.
My only hope is that some day she can come out of the darkness and become Valerie Gray in Full Color.
