Cure for the Common Man

"Seeing Pink"

-10-


Week 3: Lessons in Kissing and Proper Grammar: Wednesday

Portlyn's baby was named Gradlyn Acklebee. All 14.8 pounds of it. (Probably having to do with the fact that it was way over two weeks late.)

Tawni's baby was named Tawnamsi Mariah. All 8 pounds of it.

Last but not least, Nick and Dree's baby was named…Maizy Grace. All something pounds of it. Who cares? Feel sorry for the kid. MAJOR wordplay on that one. Sorry, Maizy Grace (how sweet your little cries must sound).

On Thursday, after…everything happened with Chad and me, we both received phone calls. Chad got a call from Grady (strange), and I got a phone call from James (kill me now). Waters were breaking, and wives were being rushed into delivery rooms. Then, somewhere around midnight, after Gradlyn and Tawnamsi were born, Maizy Grace's birth was announced.

I think that God was after me that day. All of these guys that I had guided were having babies. Here I was, unrequitedly in-like with Chad Dylan Cooper, preparing him for some girl that was dating another guy. I was overwhelmed, up to my sleeves, panicking…

Around 2am Friday morning, I finally plopped down in my huge bed, feeling emotionally and physically drained. One could only handle buying so much pink, even if it was for cute little (or big – sorry Gradlyn) babies. The worst part was that Chad accompanied me to every store, and that we bought the presents together. It was so odd, and so…terrifying.

My bed was huge. My bed was empty. My lips were untouched, and I couldn't remember the last time that a guy had told me that he loved me. And I wanted a baby. I wanted a bald, chubby little girl with huge blue eyes and elastic-band (chub) wrists. I wanted to walk into church, cradling my baby, with my husband clinging to my side, cooing at it.

I wanted all of it. And my wanting terrified the living heck out of me.

Of course, my 'wanting' and reminiscing over last week's occurrences was downgraded a little bit when Chad sauntered back over to our table, plopping a pint of…Chunky Monkey down in front of me.

"Are you trying to tell me something, Cooper?" I looked from the pint of ice cream, up to the Irresistible Raspberry eater. What an egotistical prick.

"What do you mean, Munroe?" He shrugged, tore the lid off, dug a spoon in, and swallowed down a bite of pink ice cream. Watching him, a little drool found its way into my mouth. He really did look irresistible.

"You got me Chunky Monkey ice cream. You got the Irresistible shit. I think that I'm insulted." I looked down at my stomach, clothed by a sweater. Okay, there were some wrinkles, and I could probably pinch an inch, but still…

"Try the ice cream, Sonny. You'll understand. If I wasn't on such a raspberry craze right now, I'd be eating that banana-y goodness." Chad licked his lips, and dug out another spoonful.

Earlier, I was having a minor nervous breakdown (Tawni called me up, asking if I'd babysit Tawnamsi two weeks from now). Right after Tawni called, Chad called, and asked about our "date" today. Considering that my brain was somewhere off in LaLa Land, I let him pick the place. Ben & Jerry's.

I should've learned from our first "date" that the assmuch loved desserts.

"Banana-y goodness?" I frowned, staring at the pint. Sure, there were bananas on the covering of the ice cream can, and there were monkeys. So monkeys liked bananas? Chad liked bananas? What made Chad think that I liked bananas?

What was my rule?

The guy should never order for the girl. I gave him permission to, though. I let him order for me. I was allowing my student to break my own rules. One, in particular, that I had gave him hell for breaking during the beginning of this process.

"I'm such a hypocrite." The words weren't meant to be heard, but they were. Chad looked up at me curiously, and I placed my head in my hands.

Damn Ben & Jerry's. Damn ice cream. Damn it all.

"What do you mean by that, Sonny?" Not 'no you're not, Sonny' – but what he said. He thought that I was too. And somewhere, behind those blinking, supposedly innocent blue eyes, was a smirk just dying to get out.

"I let you order for me." If it was a desk in front of me instead of a normal table, I would've been head-desk-ing it all the way. Why don't you let him in on the fact that you're having a minor nervous breakdown, huh, Sonny?

"I know." FINALLY. The smirk came about. "But I figured that you were having a bad day." His hand found its way across the table, and over to mine. He patted my hand. Damn. "We could say that today is off the charts, if you'd like?" I frowned. Off the charts. So, in other words, we'd be hanging out as friends.

Do not get involved with your client, Sonny.

"I-uh-"

Friends. You and Chad. Always bickering. Friends could be a good thing. Especially since you're supposed to teach him how to kiss this week…

"Um-"

"Come on, Sonny," Chad licked his spoon. "We're out already. What's the harm?"

Everything. I wanted to say. Everything's the harm.

Instead, I gave a lingering sigh, picked up the pint, tore the lid off, and dug in.

And good lord, it was delicious.

Ooo000ooO

Sonny seemed infatuated with her ice cream, which was just fine, because I was kind of infatuated with her. Of course, the guy at the counter was infatuated with Sonny too. Therefore, I didn't know whether to just stare in a dreamy state at Sonny, or send glares at the little human ice cream scooper who couldn't have been seventeen.

I opted for glaring.

This, in order, caused the guy to glare back. Then, somewhere in the middle of our 'glaring contest', Sonny finally took time away from her ice cream, and looked up to glare at me.

"Really Chad?" Aw. I blinked. Finally. We were back to this again. Just like old times…

"Really, Sonny."

"You're a-"

"Good." I spoke, causing her to blink in confusion.

"Good…?"

"Good." I nodded my head, willing for her to take the bait.

"Good…?"

"C'mon, Sonny," I urged. "Say it. Say that we're so good."

"I'll say that you're an idiot, Chad Dylan Coop-"

"No," I held up my hands, "Don't you remember? Isn't this just like old times? Remember how we used to get into those one-word bickering sessions to ease our sexual tension?" (Fact: I had never seen eyes go as wide as Sonny's at that moment in time). Oops. I bit my bottom lip, and clamped my mouth shut. I then squeezed my eyes closed, and slowly opened them again.

Yep, I had said it.

Sonny looked like she was about to blow one.

"Did you just say sexual tens-"

"If we're going all Disney here, Sonbeam, the term is sexy tension." In all honesty, I was completely surprised that I still hadn't been slapped at that point. Avoiding Sonny's befuddled gaze, I turned my head to look at the guy at the counter. He was still staring at Sonny, like he was hypnotized by her. I was going to narrow my eyes at him (again) and turn the glare on, but Sonny kicked my leg with her heeled boot. Ouch.

"Chad!" Her teeth were clamped together, yet magically, she could still get words out. That, and her eyes looked like they were on fire, making her all the more hot.

"You want to leave, Sonbeam?" I glanced from her ice cream pint to my own. Both were half eaten. I had never left Ben & Jerry's with ice cream still left in the bowl. This was new. Sonny was changing me. For a moment, I wondered what David would say. Let her change your etiquette, but not your soul

"Where?" Sonny's voice was hoarse, and her eyes were pleading. I stood up, picked up both ice cream cartons, and dunked them in trash.

Ooo000ooO

Most guys opt for bowling, or go-carting. Chad, on the other hand was different. So thirty minutes after Chad dumped our ice cream in the garbage, I found myself in Macy's, In the baby department, of all places. I was definitely, definitely going to have a nervous breakdown.

"Now you would think that Gradlyn would've lost a little weight, wouldn't you have? I mean, sure, she came like…a month late. Still. She's a newborn." Chad was sorting through tiny pink dresses, and I stood, rooted to the ground, staring at him warily as he rambled on. "And here I am, buying her bigger dresses. Do you see how small the dresses are for Tawnamsi? And poor Gradlyn. I wonder if she'll always be chubby." Chad picked up one of the little pink dresses, and put it in his shopping basket, which was already piled over with baby things. "Don't get me wrong, though," Chad took a step to the left, moving onto baby bonnets. "I like chubby babies. They're cuter than slim ones. But still."

"Chad," I drew in a deep breath, not really knowing what I was going to say. Chad looked up at me, managing to throw about five baby bonnets into the basket as he did so.

"Oh," Chad let the basket's handles slide down his arm, "We need to get something for Maizy too, don't we?" He brushed passed me, and headed towards a rack of little green dresses. I was losing it. I was definitely losing it.

Men didn't like to shop for baby clothes, did they? So why on earth did Chad have to drag me here?

"I mean, when we have babies-" And all of a sudden, I felt awake again.

"Did you just say we?" I gulped, closing my eyes. He did. He did, he did, he did.

Chad looked startled. "I meant, me and Dantity."

Oh. What an idiot.

"I know that," I said rather slowly, "But what if she doesn't want to have babies?" Heiress might not, but I will, Chad. I'll have babies with you.

Nervous. Breakdown.

"So…" I wanted to say something, I really, really did. I just couldn't think of anything to say. And Chad…Chad was all for this. He was picking out baby girl clothes left and right, and talking about babies, and enjoying himself. No doubt, he'd be an excellent father. No doubt, he'd be an excellent husband. So why was I teaching him?

"Oh, hello there." I felt a tap on my shoulder, and I heard a familiar voice. That's why.

Avoiding Chad's gaze, I spun around, prepared to face Dantity Lane.

"Hi, Dantity," I choked out, smiling my best fake smile. Dantity was wearing a too-tight, magenta outfit, and a really, really broad grin. She was looking from me to someone/something that was behind me. Chad.

I didn't dare look at his face right now.

"It's good to see you here." Dantity's smile managed to grow even bigger. "Are you buying baby clothes for the 'three Thursdays'?" I tilted my head to the side, glancing at Dantity in a confused way. Then it hit me. All three babies were born on/ a little after Thursday.

"Yep." Chad's voice came in from behind me, and I felt like my heart was about to burst out of my chest.

"That's so nice," Dantity gestured to Chad, "And it's good to see you, again."

Again!? Again. Oh, they saw each other at the wedding…

"You too." Chad's voice sounded strained, and I wondered if he was as nervous as I was. Probably. This was such a horrible situation.

In the blink of an eye, two hands were on my shoulders, and Dantity's lips were mere centimeters from my ear. I had no idea what she was doing, and I knew that Chad must've been just as confused as I was.

"I dumped my boyfriend, by the way." Just as quickly as her hands were on me, they were off of me, and she was walking away with a spring in her step. I stood in place, blinking. Just like that, all of my hope seemed to vanish.

--

Somewhere along the way, Chad grabbed my wrist, managed to drag me to the checkout counter, and when I blinked, I was suddenly in front of my house, not remembering how I had got there. Yes, Chad was in the driver's seat and everything, but still, I felt like a zombie, not remembering anything at all.

"Are you going to be okay, Sonny?" My hand was on the passenger's door handle, and I was ready for escape. When I looked up at Chad, he was staring at me with such intensity that I didn't know what to do, or what to think. I was just there, in this dream state, desperately needing something to re-awaken me.

I wanted this to be a dream.

I'm pretty sure that I nodded. When I did, I think that Chad managed a tight smile.

I closed my eyes, and when I opened them again, Chad was opening my door, offering me his hand, and helping me out of his car.

Somehow, I stood up, but I wasn't able to keep my balance. When I lost it, I fell straight into Chad's arms, letting my head come in contact with Chad's muscular chest. I heard his heartbeat, I listened to his heartbeat. I could smell his sweet smell, like cinnamon and spice.

Before I knew it, Chad was scooping me up, and I was floating towards my house. Floating towards my door. Floating towards something that wasn't planned or anything.

Chad never let me go, though. And for the first time in a long time, I felt completely, totally safe.


A/N: I know, I know – I am the Bella Swan of SWAC. Combining people's names, that is. And for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, well – focus on Chris Pine's amazing looks. There.

Have I mentioned that all of you are amazing reviewers? I know that I have, and, not to sound like Nick Jonas on Twitter, but you are amazing! =)

Interesting fact: There's this show called 'The Closer' on TNT. CHAD WAS IN IT! Okay, well not Chad, but Sterling. Ironically, he played a guy named Grady. Bonus: HE CRIED!

I know, I get amused by the little things in life…

Another update is coming soon, guys. I promise.

Thoughts?