AN: AHelm here! Hey, where did you all go? We missed some of your reviews for the last chapter. Alice was slightly miffed. What? I'm just sayin'.
Also, the first day of this chapter is December 8th, which is my birthday, only a few decades earlier. Yay!
I ripped the paper from my typewriter and placed it on the stack that had grown over the course of the work day. Mr. Marks had managed to keep me so busy I could hardly think about anything else. I supposed that, in some ways, I appreciated that, because it meant that I didn't have time to think about Emmett, the fact that my mom was a virtual zombie these days because she walked around worried sick about him … or Edward. I could only type my letters, address the envelopes, and copy the notes I'd taken at this morning's meeting.
"Miss Swan," Austin called out from his office. "Please come here for a moment."
I cleared my throat, standing as I did so, and straightened my skirt. "Just one moment, Mr. Marks," I replied, and made the short walk to his office.
"Miss Swan, I think you deserve an afternoon off. Please clock out now … I'll be sure you're paid for the hours you'd have been shorted. Think of it as my thank you for doing such a wonderful job here."
I smiled. "Thank you, Mr. Marks," I said. "I'll just hand my letters and envelopes over to Jessica and let her know how to proceed and then be on my way."
After handing my documents, envelopes and postage to Jessica, the secretary who sat nearest me—and dealing with yet another of her scathing looks—I was on my way out of the office.
I hailed a cab home, making quick work of the stairs that led up to my apartment. I entered, locking the door behind me. I hung my jacket in its usual place near the door and continued into my bedroom, removing my shoes as I made my way down the short hallway. I took a seat on my bed, removed my hat, and then placed it back in its box, which I'd left open and on my nightstand in my rush this morning.
I'd slept incredibly well—perhaps too well, really, when you consider that Edward Masen played a starring role in the one dream I remembered. It was innocent, of course. I only dreamt of what had happened a short three days ago. This time, however, instead of leaving with just a gentle touch to my cheek, he slid his hand down to my hip and held me to him. I was breathing him in, all vanilla and clean and wonderful, when I'd awakened with a start thanks to my despicable alarm clock's blaring. I promptly turned it off and fell back asleep; thankfully, right back into my dream.
Edward holding me felt like the most natural thing in the world … in my dream, at least. I sighed, bringing myself back to reality, and pulled my dress over my head, stepping into a thin cotton sleep gown and slippers for the evening.
I walked to the kitchen, pulled out leftovers from the evening before, and set them to warm them in the oven. I sat down at my kitchen table to wait, musing on my list of household to-dos. I was ever thankful that my apartment complex was so new and modernized—it was one of the few in the city that had a washer and dryer in each unit. And I had laundry to do, yet again. It seemed as though I went through enough clothing for three people during the work week. I grimaced at the thought of having to lug my clothes to a Chinese laundry each week, although the man that ran the one on the corner was quite the nice gentleman. He'd helped me out with a stubborn spot more than once.
The phone rang and the oven beeped at the same time. I figured the food could handle another minute or two, so I walked around the table, picked up the receiver, and cradled it between my shoulder and ear, leaning back against the wall as I answered.
"Hello?"
"Bella," he said, his voice quiet. Suddenly I wished I were there, in his office, gazing into his shining emerald eyes. Or he was here, living my dream from last night … Bella, stop it. Stop it now.
"Mr. Masen. What can I do for you?" I asked, my voice composed.
The line was silent for a moment, and for some reason, I could sense that he was searching for the right words. "Ah. Well … Bella, I trust that you haven't heard from your brother." His inflection went up at the end, making his statement sound like a question. In that moment, several things came to mind.
It had been more than a week since Emmett had gone missing.
Nine days my brother had been gone.
Suddenly, I felt despair and heartache and pain the likes of which I couldn't comprehend. I nearly crumpled to the floor, and was grateful for the wall's solid support behind me.
"N-no, I haven't," I said, my voice breaking slightly. "Have you got any leads?"
"We have some things we're looking into," he said, and I wondered at the cryptic nature of his response. "But, Bella … I … I'm afraid we're going to have to ask something unpleasant of you."
I stared into space for a moment and then remembered the food in my oven. "Yes, hold on, Edward. I'll be right back." I placed the handset on the table and walked to retrieve my meal.
I pulled the quiche from the oven with a hot pad and placed the dish on the stove top. My mind was so preoccupied with thoughts of Emmett, I bumped the dish as I was turning and burned my finger, causing me to shout out. After running cold water over it, I returned to the phone, hoping Edward hadn't hung up in the interim.
"I'm back. Sorry about th—"
His voice, filled with worry, cut me off. "Are you OK? What happened?"
I was a bit taken aback at the—was that care?—that was in his voice, but chose not to respond in turn. "I just burned my finger on a dish I pulled from the oven. It was minor. I'm fine, Mr. Masen, I assure you. What did you need to ask of me?"
When he spoke, his voice had become sterner, more professional. "Well, Bella. The fact that more than a week has passed and you haven't heard from your brother necessitates a visit I can assure you will not enjoy."
I furrowed my brow, unsure of what he could be talking about. "What do you mean?"
He sighed. "We need to visit the morgue, Bella. We need to be certain that Emmett is not there, among the unidentified."
My mouth fell open, and though I wanted to say something, I couldn't find the words.
Emmett had been missing for nine days.
For nine days, I hadn't allowed myself to consider that he wouldn't come back.
In that moment, I realized that I had to entertain the idea, as much as it pained me. The gravity of the situation seemed to double, cutting me open. The figurative hole in my chest grew, raw and gaping. The pain overwhelmed me for a moment and I gasped audibly, angling my head back until it too rested on the wall.
My brother … my little brother …
"Bella, Bella. I'm sorry. I … I should have come by … had Alice come by. This was tactless, rude … I should have considered your feelings … I'm—"
This time, I cut him off. "Mr. Masen, it is your job to be honest with me." My voice was shaky and I paused to gather myself. "If you were anything less than direct with me, pertaining to my brother's case, I would have a bone to pick with you."
He sighed again, and I could almost see him pinching at the bridge of his nose in frustration. The small part of me that wasn't overwhelmed with grief was astounded to realize how much attention I must have paid to him without thinking..
"Still, Bella," he responded in a voice that was wary and kind and thoughtful, all in one. "I know how sensitive this … situation is for you and your mother."
I nodded, and the line was quiet as I collected my thoughts. "It is, but this is what I hired you for," I said, suddenly determined to be strong. "When shall I visit the … ah … the hospital?" I couldn't bring myself to label it the morgue. I just couldn't.
"Well, I think tomorrow morning would be excellent. Are you able to secure the morning off?"
I thought for a moment. "Yes, I just need to make a few phone calls first, to be sure my back up knows to take any assignments that come my way," I replied.
"All right then, Bella," he said. "Meet Alice and me at my office at 9, tomorrow morning, please. I'll … I'll see you then." Quickly, he disconnected the line.
I held the phone against my chest for a few minutes after our conversation ended.
If I closed my eyes, I could clearly see his crazy bronze mop and vibrant green eyes. I could see his jaw line and his fedora and his dark lashes and his always-scuffed shoes. I could see him completely in my minds eye, down to the exact degree to which one side of his mouth curved up, giving him a devilishly handsome crooked grin.
Would this man always have this effect on me? How was it possible that in the last week, I'd begun to harbor a flame for Edward Masen? It was preposterous. He only cared about me because I was his client. He only spoke with me because he was my private investigator and he wanted to keep me abreast of the case. Nothing more.
My heart broke at the thought and I finally hung up the phone. I stared at it for what seemed like forever before making a phone call to the office and leaving a message letting Jessica know that I'd be out tomorrow.
Silently, I plated my food. After eating only a few bites, I threw the rest away. I couldn't find it in me to be hungry in light of my brother's missing person case, and my romantically bankrupt state.
Earlier than usual, I headed to bed, setting my alarm for later than normal. I quickly fell into a black, dreamless sleep.
This time, there was no bronze haired man holding me, assuaging my pain with the mere touch of his hand. It was nothingness, emptiness. I was alone.
Thursday, December 9 dawned gray and rainy, and I awoke to my alarm, still tired. The night had flown by, and I could hardly stand to open my eyes. Sleep had come easily, but rest had not. Despite my exhaustion, I made myself get out of bed and walked, bleary eyed, to my bathroom.
I showered, washed and dried my hair, and fashioned most of it in a knot on the back of my head, allowing some in the front to hang loosely so that I could style it into pin curls along my hairline. I put on some light makeup and pulled on a robe as I walked to the closet.
The hole in my chest was there, still, and I ached.
I chose a simple black dress, given what I was going to have to do today. I hung it on the backside of my closed door, pulled on fresh underclothes and thigh highs and then stepped into it, the black sateen material soft and supple under my fingertips. I slid my feet into heels, grabbed my clutch from its usual place on a shelf in my closet, and then checked the time. There was just enough left for me to hail a cab and make it to Edward's office with a few minutes to spare.
Before I knew it, I was there. I paid the cabbie and walked into the small brownstone for the second time in a week. Alice greeted me, a smile on her face.
"Morning, Bella," she said. "How's things?"
I shot a small smile at her. "Things are well, given the situation. It's been hard, of course. I've begun to worry that I'll never see him again."
I wasn't sure why I'd divulged so much of my feelings to Alice, but something about her put me at ease. I knew I could trust her.
A true and honest look of sympathy appeared on her face. "I know what you mean, Bella. But I'm here to tell you that this visit's only a technicality. Neither Eddie nor I believe we're going to see Emmett there, not for one hot second. We just need to cross this option off the list, understand?"
"Of course, Alice," I said, and the hole pulsated, reminding me not to be too hopeful.
"Bella," the velvet voice called quietly.
I looked up to see Edward standing in the doorway to his office, devastating as ever.
"Mr. Masen," I said, ignoring the not-so-subtle fluttering in my stomach. "Shall we go?" I wanted to get this over with. I had to get this over with.
He nodded. "Alice, you have the keys to the office?"
"Sure do, Eddie," she answered. "You two go to the car and I'll lock up around here."
Wordlessly, Edward walked toward me and placed a hand on the small of my back. Electricity erupted under my skin where his hands grazed the fabric of my dress and I heard my breath catch. After helping me into my coat, which had been hanging over my forearm, he led me out to the street, stopping next to a beautiful silver car.
"This is me," he said, opening the passenger door.
"Oh, Alice can sit up front," I said, suddenly nervous to sit in such close proximity to him for any extended period of time. It struck me then that I had no idea which hospital we were visiting.
"Nonsense, Bella," Alice called from behind me. "You sit up front. It's like when a guest is over at home;they always get the best. 'Sides," she added, "I fit back there better than you do."
I smiled at her comparison.. A fleeting thought crossed my mind—I envisioned Alice and Edward over to celebrate Emmett's return home. Mama and I could make a smorgasbord of food and the fun could last well into the night. Mama would love Alice's sass and Emmett would, too. And I had a feeling that both Mama and Emmett would get along famously with Edward.
Alice gracefully climbed into the "struggle buggy," as she quirkily referred to it, and I got into the passenger seat. Edward closed our doors and walked around to the driver's side, silently sliding into the seat. A pair of police officers strolled by on patrol, and Alice got quiet for a moment. Edward cast a sideways glance at me. I felt my cheeks warm and prayed that my blush wouldn't be obvious.
"It is nice to see you smile, Bella," he said, so quietly I could hardly hear him.
I exhaled and dared to look over at him. When I did, I took note of his regal profile. The flat plane of his forehead moved into a strong nose and chin, and his lips pursed slightly. How it was possible for one man to be so gorgeous was beyond me, and I quickly chastised myself for thinking about it.
You're on your way to confirm that your little brother's not in the morgue, the hole yelled at me. Pain washed over me anew and I moved my gaze to face out of my window.
Before I knew it we were pulling up to a curb, parking and Edward was ushering us out of the car and into the building. I kept my eyes forward, never looking upward, so I didn't even catch the name of the hospital we were at.
"Yes, we're here for a confirmation at the morgue. Can you direct us?" Edward said.
"Don't be silly, Eddie. I know where we're going," Alice chimed in. Was that happiness I heard in her voice? What on earth about visiting a morgue would make someone happy?
I hazarded another glance up at Edward and found that his eyes were focused on me. "Of course, Alice. Lead the way," he said.
Alice walked brusquely, keeping to the right of each hallway we made our way. I'd lost track of the number of rights and lefts we took when she finally announced, "We're here!" and led us into a small waiting area. "Lemme go get him," she said, as she disappeared through a doorway.
"Where is she going?" I asked Edward. His mouth opened to answer when Alice returned, a blond man in tow.
"Eddie and Bella, this here's my Pops. Pops, Eddie and Bella," Alice said, gesturing to each of us as she spoke our names.
"It's nice to meet you finally, Edward," the man said, extending a hand. Then he cast a compassionate look at me. "Though I must admit, I wish it were under other circumstances. I'm Carlisle Cullen."
Alice's father was a handsome man—older obviously, but handsome nonetheless. His blond hair was the polar opposite of his daughter's unruly black mess, but they had the same gray eyes and petite facial features. They also both moved in the same way—so gracefully that one could arguably call it dancing as opposed to walking.
"Right this way, then," he said, all business. Edward, Alice and I followed him. We were already standing on the other side of the doorway by the time I realized that, unbeknownst to me, I'd grabbed Edward's elbow as a way to ready myself to the things I was about to see. I stared at the place where my hand touched his jacket-covered arm and then felt his eyes on me. A pleased look warmed the green. He lightly brushed the fingers of his other hands over my knuckles.
"Bella," Carlisle said. "What I'm going to do is show you the faces of the three unidentified men we have in our morgue today. Edward's choice to bring you here was smart—all John Does are eventually brought through here from other hospitals because we're the central location for the city." I eyed him, and a gentle smile appeared on his lips. "What I'm saying, Bella, is that you won't have to make another visit today. If he's not here, he's not dead."
His candidness was appreciated, though referring to my brother and death in the same sentence made the hole grow larger. I almost winced at the sensation.
Alice stood in front of me. She took my free hand in hers and looked me directly in the eye. "Bella, all you're here to do is have a look-see. Pops will uncover their faces—you won't see anything more than that. And when we confirm that none of these joes is your brother, we'll go on our merry way, alright?" I squeezed her hand and she let me go, walking around to stand next to her father.
I took a deep breath and nodded. I noted with some confusion, as Edward placed his free hand over mine, that the hole seemed to shrink slightly with the pressure of his touch. I looked at him and then he led us forward.
Carlisle pulled on gloves; the snap they made when he released the material at his wrists echoed through the room. "Number One," he said, and uncovered the face.
I felt my breath catch. I'd never seen a dead body before, and the possibility that he'd uncover one of these three men to reveal my brother staring up at me made me nauseous. A chill ran down my spine. There was something terribly unnatural about a completely still body.
Edward murmured softly to me. "Just one look, Bella. That's not Emmett. See?" He gestured to the face of the man who lay there.
This man was red headed with freckles, and a large, purpling bruise around his right eye. I shook my head.
"Are you ready for the next?" Edward whispered. I nodded and let him lead me five feet to my right, where the next body was covered in a white sheet.
This man had a head of black curls and a nose with a large bump in the middle, as though it had been broken and never properly repaired. I shook my head.
"One more, Bella," Edward said. "Just one more." We moved another five feet to our right and Carlisle uncovered the last man.
He was blond, with strangely dark skin and thin lips. I shook my head.
"Your guy's not here, then," Carlisle said, a smile splayed on his lips.
"Thanks, Pops!" Alice nearly cheered.
"Yes, thank you, Carlisle," said Edward. "Please keep in touch."
"Will do, Edward," the blond man said. "I'll see you at home, Tiny." He reached over to Alice and embraced her lightly. As though the beginning of my day hadn't been rough enough, memories of my father enveloped me as I watched the two of them together. I quickly looked elsewhere as they said their goodbyes.
The drive back to the office was silent. Edward parked and Alice quickly exited the vehicle. "Eddie, why don't you give Bella a ride home?" she suggested, a broad grin on her face.
He looked at me and raised his eyebrows. "Would you like that, Bella?" he asked.
Realizing that I would very much like that, I nodded. "That would be nice."
"Alice," he called to her through her open door. "I'll be back shortly. Do me a favor and keep the office locked up and closed 'til I get back?"
"Sure thing, boss. Bye Bella, see you soon," she said, with a wave, and turned on her heel.
We made the short drive to my apartment and Edward stopped just short of my building. "Shall I walk you to your building, Miss Swan?" he asked, a good-natured smile on his face.
"I would like that, Mr. Masen," I answered, honestly.
"So be it, then." He opened his door, stepped out of the car and walked around to my side. He opened my door and took my elbow for balance. As usual, the electricity that charged between us surprised me. We stepped into the main doorway of my building and he looked at me. "Do you want me to walk you up?"
He seemed nervous. I had to be imagining it.
"If you don't mind," I nodded.
He turned his face upward and we took the stairs together. I barely felt the climb. Suddenly, we were standing at my doorway.
I pulled out my key and was inserting it into the knob when I was suddenly overtaken by emotion. The tears came quickly. I let my head fall forward until it hit the smooth wood of my door.
"Bella? Bella, what's wrong?" Edward asked, his voice frantic.
I could only sob in response.
Gently, he covered my hand, which was still on the key, with his own. It was large and warm and engulfed mine completely. He turned the key and pushed the door open. Because I never let go of it, I followed the door, my sobs still shaking my body. He gingerly peeled my fingers away from the knob and took my keys from my hand. He hung them on one of the metal coat hooks in the wall and pulled me further into my apartment before closing the door.
"Bella," he whispered.
I looked up at him, through my tears, and he stared at me, pain swimming in his eyes.
Slowly, he moved toward me. He was so close I could smell him. Carefully, as though I were made of glass, he wrapped his arms around me, holding me to his chest. He whispered, "Bella, Shhh. Bella, it's OK. Please, Bella. I can't … I … Shhhh."
He held me that way until my tears subsided. I couldn't tell you how many minutes passed. When he finally loosened his grip on me, I saw a small wet spot on his shirt, a place where my tears had gathered. "I'm sorry …" I started as I looked up at him.
He shook his head and met my gaze. His arms were still hanging loosely around me. I allowed myself to place a hand on his chest. I was so close to him that I could see the various shades or auburn and red and brown that made up the unusual color of his messy hair. I fought the urge to lift my hand and run my fingers through it. My heart skipped a beat when I realized that if anyone had seen us standing like this, they would have assumed we were lovers, entangled in a passionate embrace.
"What's wrong, Bella? Please tell me," he begged. "Please."
I sighed, pulling back slightly, but not so much that he removed his arms. "Today was just … a lot. I still haven't cried over Emmett's being gone, and really, I never even let myself consider that he might be dead, not really. But this morning, I made myself accept that it was a possibility … and those men were the first dead bodies I'd ever seen, because my father's casket was closed by the time they let Emmett and I see him. And then I learned that Em's not dead, and it was just … I don't know. So up and down. I'm feeling pulled all over the place today."
He nodded. "I understand, Bella. And I'm sorry I had to put you through that."
I shook my head at him. I knew I should probably pull away from him in order to keep things professional, but I didn't. I enjoyed the feeling of him holding me; the hole was gone when he did so, or at the very least it was diminished to the point that I could scarcely feel it. "You didn't. I told you, Edward. This is why I hired you. You have to make me deal with this and you have to be honest. There's not another option for us."
Internally, I sighed. My last statement was applicable to more than one scenario.
He nodded and released me. Instantly, the electricity was gone. Instantly, the hole seemed to grow in size.
"Well, Bella," he began, his demeanor much more professional. "I've really got to get back to the office. Alice and I should be checking in on some leads this week, and I will, of course, keep you posted."
"Of course," I said.
Edward turned toward the door and opened it, but stopped and looked back at me before fully exiting the apartment. He tipped his fedora and said, "Be safe, please," as he stepped through the doorway and out into the hall.
I closed the door, locked it and promptly collapsed on my couch.
It had been a long day, and it was only 11:15.
I considered my options. I knew what I wanted to do. I wanted to sit on my couch, wait for two o'clock, and listen to jazz music as I let my mind wander over every detail I could remember of Edward Masen. I wanted to think of how his arms felt around me, even if it was just meant as a gesture of comfort. I wanted to remember the smell that was so intrinsically him—vanilla and clean and wonderful.
But I needed to make a phone call first, and I knew that I'd invite her over one I spoke to her, so both of those things would have to wait.
The line rang three times before she picked up.
"Hello?" her sweet voice answered.
I ignored the hole and said, "Mama, it's me."
"Oh, hello, sweet girl! Are you off work today?"
I swallowed hard. I wanted to tell her about the meeting Edward wanted. I definitely thought it would be helpful if we kept the whole thing casual, in order to keep Mama calm about the situation.
I cleared my throat. I needed to do this fast, like when you rip a band-aid off in order to inflict the least amount of pain possible. "Yes, Mama. I'm off today. Mama? I, uh … I need to tell you something," I began. Her silence told me she was waiting for me to continue. I spoke quickly. "Well, Mama, when we didn't hear from Emmett for three whole days, I took it upon myself to hire a P.I. and he's working on finding Em for us. Today he asked me to come to the morgue with him so we could be sure Emmey wasn't one of the unidentified men they had there, and he wasn't so that's good, morbid as it sounds."
I heard her gasp. "Bella? What? Bella, I don't know what to say …"
Gently, I cut her off. "Mama, why don't you come on over here? I'm not going back to work today and I could use the company. So could you."
She sniffed, and agreed to make the trip over. I ordered a taxi to pick her up. Within half an hour she was knocking on my door, a small container of cookies in her hand.
"Mama, come in," I said, holding her to me as soon as I opened the door. "Here, let me take these." I took the cookies from her and walked briskly to the kitchen, where I placed them in the center of the table and then came back to her. She was hanging her coat when I returned. "Have a seat, please, Mama," I requested.
She nodded, walked around my couch and stared at it for a moment before speaking. "Bella, I'm so proud of you," she said, a sudden fierce edge in her voice. "You are really making a name for yourself, and Emmett will be around to see all your hard work pay off. He will."
I nodded. "I agree. Please sit down, Mama."
She sat down and instantly removed her heels, tucking her feet under her body as she did so. I sat down in a chair on the other side of the coffee table.
Mama was Esme Evenson Swan, and she was a peach. Anyone knew that. She was the sweetest thing this side of the Mississippi and had given Emmett and me a wonderful upbringing, despite the challenges that resulted from her becoming single parent after I turned six.
She was a small woman. I wasn't tall either, but I had a full inch on her. She was also thin, with long, waist-length chestnut hair with had natural caramel highlights. Her eyes were a light brown in comparison to the dark color of my brother's and mine, and her lips were almost always curved into a polite grin. My mama was the most upstanding lady I'd ever come to know. No one could compare.
"Bella," her quivering voice said. "Tell me about this P.I., please. I need to know what's going on."
I nodded and proceeded to tell her the whole story. How I went to Edward's office. How he'd already snagged a few leads. How Alice was in on it. How they thought Lilly's had something to do with it.
"Lilly's? That cafe on 38th?"
I clarified that Emmett was going to Lilly's back door. Not the front.
"Bella, was Emmett frequenting a … a gin joint?" She looked more worried than angry.
I nodded. "I knew he went every once in a while, but I didn't know it had become a regular occurrence. If I had, I might have said something to him."
Sadness cloaked her face.
"You know, Bella, traditional as I may be, I don't think alcohol's a sin. If Emmett was in trouble, it breaks my heart to know that he went there instead of coming to us. If he's not found ..."
I felt my breathing stop as tears welled up in my mother's eyes. The hole in my chest doubled in size.
I stood then, and quickly walked to her. "Mama, no. Please, you have to believe me. If anyone can find Emmett, Edward can." I did my best to ignore that fact that saying his name out loud felt like a private thing, like I was sharing too much, and continued to talk. "He's so good, Mama. He and his assistant … they're the tops! I promise, Mama. D'you believe me?"
She looked at me, tears still threatening to fall from her eyes, and nodded once. "I believe you, baby. I do." After taking a moment to compose herself she swallowed and asked, "Does this P.I., this Edward …"
"Masen," I supplied.
She nodded. "Does Mr. Masen need anything from me?"
"He asked if we all could meet—you, his assistant and me—maybe we could make a … a dinner on Friday. Mama, I think you'll love Alice—she's so full of life. And Edward … well Edward's just … He's real swell." Before I could stop myself, I'd said his name again and the compliments flowed forth. .
Mama noticed.
"Isabella Marie, are you not telling me something?"
Why was it that the tone she'd used when Emmett and I were kids, and in trouble, still worked on me as a 23 year-old woman? I sighed.
"Bella, are you stuck on this … this Edward Masen?" she asked.
I threw myself back into the couch and stared at the ceiling.
"Oh Mama," I began tentatively, but soon, everything was pouring out of me like sand through a sieve. "Mama, he's wonderful. So smart and caring and strong and just … Mama, he's so good! And handsome to boot."
"Handsome, you say? Do tell, Bells," she said, her smile contrasting with the tears still in her eyes.
It felt good to talk about him with someone—especially Mama—so I did. It felt good to change the subject to something lighter, too.
"He's tall and has this crazy bronze hair … His eyes are the most gorgeous shade of green I've ever seen and his smile is crooked and beautiful and he's hard boiled, but I just know there's a sweet man under that tough exterior and Mama, he's just …" I sighed to finish my babbling, unable to find an appropriate word to close my thoughts on Edward.
Mama looked at me, a knowing smile curving her lips. "Bella, I do believe you're stuck on him. Yes, indeed." Her voice was quiet and surprisingly content.
A faint blush crossed my cheeks. "I am, Mama. I really am, but it does me no good. He's … he's out of my league." The hole grew a bit more and I heard my own sharp intake of breath as it did so.
This time it was Mama who comforted me. "Bella, no one is out of your league unless you put them there. Don't you ever forget it!" she commanded vehemently, and gently caressed my cheek with her right hand.
I sighed. She couldn't understand.
For the rest of the day, Mama and I sat around talking as I did laundry. We ate the cookies she brought and avoided talk of Emmett, just relaxing with each other.
And yet, both Emmett and Edward were always in the back of my mind.
AN: Yay for Esme's real entrance (and Carlisle's if you didn't already guess he was Ali-cat's Pops). And Eeek for visiting the morgue. I am thoroughly enjoying this very Victorian gentle touching and meaningful glances business. Aren't you?
Don't forget to nominate the fics you deem worthy for the Bellies and the Indies. Links are on our profile.
Reviews are win, and there were markedly less for the last chapter. *sad face* Pretty please, with PIward on top?
P.S. There's a Twilighted thread for this story under the AH board. We give teasers. Come play.
Slang dictionary:
hard-boiled—a tough, strong man
struggle buggy—the backseat of a car
swell—wonderful
to be 'stuck on' someone—to have a crush
