Phil's POV:

I kissed the top of Leila's head before grabbing my keys and walking to the door. "Don't go anywhere," I told her, grinning as I pointed at her.

"I won't," she smiled at me as she sat down on the couch only wearing one of my AmazingPhil t-shirts. That didn't exactly make it easy to leave but I did. We were hungry and neither of us felt like cooking so I was off to grab some chinese take out for us both.

The whole way to the restaurant I was feeling like I was on cloud 9. I definitely had not thought that my day would end up this way after I'd seen that photo of Leila and Ben together.

Ugh. That was horrible. I still felt like a dick for how I acted. But obviously she really did forgive me because of what had just happened.

Not even Dan busting in the room like a rabid moose could have ruined that moment for me.

I walked into the restaurant and as soon as I got to the register I saw the back of someone's head that looked quite familiar. She turned around and I was shocked to see that it was Cat and she was alone.

Was she not wearing make up? I don't think I had ever seen her without it. Not that she needed it.

"Cat!" I greeted her, smiling. "What are you doing here?" I thought for sure that Dan would have taken Leila's key and gone to their apartment.

"I was hungry and didn't feel like cooking and also was tired of feeling like some crazy bitch hiding from the world," she responded, laughing a bit. "You and Le okay?"

I totally forgot she had called in the middle of our fight.

"Oh yeah, we're great," I smiled and nodded. "I just came to pick up some food for us."

"Great minds think alike," she said as she held the bag up.

"Can you hang on for a second? I'll walk you home," I offered. I knew she was perfectly capable of getting home by herself but I hadn't gotten to spend much one on one time with Cat and considering my best friend had pretty much broken her heart, I felt like maybe talking to me might help out.

"Sure," she nodded and smiled up at me. "That'd be nice of you."

After getting my order and paying, I opened the door for Cat and she stepped out ahead of me. It didn't escape me that she was wearing one of Dan's old flannel shirts. What did these two do? Steal each other's clothes as much as possible?

"So, are you alright?" I asked her as we began walking along the pavement.

She shrugged her shoulders while wrinkling her nose. "I guess so. It's all just retarded now that I keep thinking about it."

"Meaning?"

She sighed. "Looking back on it I think I should have demanded he tell me what the fuck was going on instead of assuming that he'd just been trying to fuck me and had no use for me anymore."

"Well, in all fairness, it did sort of sound like that because of what he was saying," I replied. "But, I know Dan and I know it's more than that. I think he's just afraid of what he feels for you."

She laughed dryly. "He's not the only scared one."

"Definitely not. I think all of us are pretty petrified," I laughed.

"True," she nodded. "Love is an amazing but really fucking terrifying thing. But I know that I would rather get my heart broken than run around wondering if I should have taken a chance on someone."

"Wow. I don't think I've ever heard you be so serious," I smiled over at her and she looked up at me and grinned. It actually looked genuine too.

"I don't think I could have picked anyone more perfect for Leila myself."

That came out of nowhere and I couldn't help but smile. "Really?"

"Yes, really," she imitated my accent and laughed. "I shipped you two before we even met you but now that we have and I see who the real you is, I ship it even harder."

"I'm very glad to hear that," I nudged her with my elbow playfully. "And just so you know, I ship you with Dan."

She got a rather sad look on her face and ran her fingers through her hair.

"Is that food for you two?" I asked her, pointing down at the take out. She looked up at me with a confused expression.

"I haven't talked to Dan since the lasagna night."

"What? When did you leave your flat?"

"Uhhh, like 45 minutes ago. I got lost on the way to the restaurant," she laughed. "And I forgot my phone at home like a fucking idiot so I was really scared for a second there but I figured it out."

"Ah," I nodded. "Well, Dan is probably waiting for you at your flat."

I turned to look at her and she was gone. When I looked back she was just standing there staring at me like a deer in headlights.

"What? Why?" she asked when she finally snapped out of it and caught up with me.

"Uhhhh," I laughed. "You'll want to ask Leila the whole story."

She raised an eyebrow in confusion. "Alrighty then," she laughed. "Oh God. I don't know if I'm ready for this," she said nervously as we approached our building.

"Well, you know," I said as I opened the door. "A wise woman from Louisiana told me something about how she'd rather risk getting her heart broken than wonder if she should have taken a chance."

She laughed and leaned her head over onto my shoulder for a second as we walked towards the lift. "You're an amazing guy, Phil. No pun intended."

When I walked back into the apartment Leila was still sitting on the couch but was on her phone while her laptop was sitting on her lap. I waved with my free hand and held up the bags of food in the other not wanting to speak and interrupt her phone call incase it was work related.

I sat the food down on the counter and busied myself getting plates and glasses down from the cabinets for us. Of course I didn't need to ask what she wanted to drink. I took it upon myself to pour her a large glass of Mountain Dew before picking up her plate of food and walking to the living room with it. I sat it on the table in front of her and leaned over to kiss the tip of her nose before walking back to the kitchen to get my own.

"Yeah, I wrote it down. Okay, thank you so much Geoffrey!" Leila hung up the phone and squealed, kicking her feet into the air.

"Good news?" I asked, laughing at her cute excitement as I entered the room with my own food. I sat my plate on the other side of the table from her and sat down on the floor.

"Great news!" She grinned as she slid off of the couch and onto the floor in front of me, "That was my.. um, agent? Gah, that sounds so weird to say. Anyways, I have another book signing next week!" she clapped her hands together like an excited child before picking up her glass of Mountain Dew and helping herself to a rather large gulp.

"That's wonderful!" I replied, genuinely excited for her. "Where is this one going to be? Shall Dan and I come be your body guards since you're getting so famous?" I asked, grinning at her.

"Ummm," she turned around and pulled her laptop around to face her as she read something that had been typed into a word document, "Waterstones?" she laughed, turning back around to look at me, "I'm still not as famous as you, AmazingPhil," she pointed at me. "But you're welcome to come if you want to watch me sit and sign Leila Faust over and over again for three hours."

I rolled my eyes at her comment about being as famous as me. "I think you're being talked about much more than I am right now," I laughed. "And I can see why. You're much more beautiful and interesting." I paused for a second and smirked. "That was a pretty good one. I should write a book on sweet things to say to your lady friends."

She gasped, "I can hear women across the world turning to puddy already!" then popped a bite into her mouth. "You're definitely good at making me feel special though, so you might as well share that talent of yours with the poor hopeless souls," she laughed. "Which reminds me, I should text Cat and see how things are going with Dan," she mused, grabbing for her phone again.

"Oh!" I dropped my fork like an idiot and laughed at myself. "I just saw her! God, I'm so a.d.d sometimes. She was at the chinese restaurant. Apparently she'd been gone when Dan went over there. She said she got lost on the restaurant and had left her phone at the flat. I'm shocked Dan didn't come by freaking out thinking she got kidnapped. But I guess he's probably too mentally scarred to walk back in here after what happened." I laughed again just thinking about it.

Leila nearly choked from laughing at the latter part of my statement, "That was horrible but so, so hilarious," she shook her head. "So.. ugh, I wish he would have just went and talked to her when I saw him this morning. I feel like I'm waiting for a new episode of a soap opera to come on where a woman's long lost soulmate has finally found her again but she's slipped into a coma, and he ends up getting shot in the face while he waits for her to wake up or something outrageously ridiculous like that."

I just stared at her for a second with what I'm sure was a bit of a scared look on my face before I laughed loudly. "Times like this are when I see exactly how you're such a good writer. I don't know of many people who could come up with something like that so quickly."

She rolled her eyes, "That was rubbish.. Woah, what the hell? Rubbish? Really?" Leila sniggered, "You guys are rubbing off on me. I'm going to go back to the states and get teased even more than I did before I left.. Thanks though, babe," she smiled.
My heart sank when she mentioned going back to the states. How the hell had I not thought about that before? I pushed my food around on my plate, not really having much of an appetite as I let that sink in. "When will you go back?" I asked sounding much more sad that I actually meant to but I couldn't help it. The thought of not being able to see her whenever I wanted was just devastating.
What the bloody hell has this woman done to me?
The look on her face, which changed from carefree happiness to a sudden look of sadness let me know that she picked up on how disheartened I had sounded when I asked her that.
"I'm not completely sure. Oliver said I would be here for at least four months for the film," Leila replied quietly. "So sometime in mid-January, most likely. February at the latest," she rested her cheek against her palm, playing with her food like I was. I'm guessing she didn't have much of an appetite now either.

You know that horrible feeling you get when you almost fall down and you get that weird cold chill that moves over your whole body? That's how I felt when she said that.

I laid my fork down and chewed my bottom lip as I looked at her. "What happens to us?" I wasn't really sure I even wanted an answer to that.

Leila reached across the table and put her hand on top of mine, "I really wish that I could give you an answer, but I have no idea. I've been doing my best not to think about it," she said as he ran her thumb over my knuckle. "I guess I probably should though, huh?" she smiled weakly and tilted her head.

I looked down at her hand over mine before reaching over with my other hand and picking hers up to bring it to my lips and kiss it. "There's no turning back now anyway," I shrugged. "Regardless of whether you go back or not we feel the way we feel. We will figure something out."

We better figure something out.

She started chucking and a part of me wondered why; maybe she had inappropriate responses to stress? "I'm sorry," she shook her head, "That's just weird, because I was thinking the same thing.. I'll care about you whether I'm four doors away, or four thousand miles away," she sighed then scooted a little bit closer to me. "Might as well enjoy the closeness while we've got it, right?" she said in an attempt to cheer me up.

Of course it worked...a bit. I leaned over and kissed her lips. "That was me enjoying the closeness," I told her before kissing her again.

"Mmm, well this is me enjoying the closeness," Leila smiled and put her hand on my cheek as she tilted her head back, returning the kiss.

Dan's POV:

Okay, seriously, if Cat isn't back in the next ten minutes, I'm calling the authorities and reporting her as a missing person.

I'd been sitting in her apartment for over an hour and I still hadn't seen a trace of her anywhere. Her purse was gone, but her phone was here. I knew what because I had tried calling her. At first I thought she might have been hiding under the couch, because I heard her phone ring from that general area, but it turns out her phone had just ended up being lodged in the cushions.

Who leaves their house without their phone?

No one.

So my mind kept going to the worst possible scenario.

She'd been Cat-napped.

No, I'm not trying to make a bloody joke right now.

I'm being completely serious!

Why else would her phone be here and not her? I mean, it's not that she was an iphonohlic like Phil, but like I said, who leaves their bloody phone lying around when they go out?

Ugh, I knew I should have just come over here when Leila told me to this morning.

I could have stopped her intruder, or taken her back to my flat, and she could have been blinded by catching Phileila in the throws.

Phil has one of the palest bums I've ever seen, just so you know.

If I get to see Cat again, I'm going to tell her that. I know she'd laugh at it, just like she laughed at everything else that I said.

Well, until I said the stupid shit I had said at dinner about a week ago.

Stupid, stupid!

Why did I even have to talk? My stupid mouth did nothing but get me into trouble anyways.

Finally I heard the sound of keys in the door and I jumped off of the couch to run to it. Of course I didn't think that through. As soon as the door opened and my tall ass was standing there which I'm sure she didn't expect, she screamed loudly and grabbed her chest like she was about to have a bloody heart attack.

Wait, is she wearing my shirt?

"Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, Dan!" she said as she walked into the apartment and shut the door behind herself. "Is there ever going to be a time when you don't scare the living shit out of me?" she asked as she walked past me and into the kitchen to place her food on the counter.

"I'm so sorry, Cat," I shut the door then followed behind her. Normally I would have gotten a laugh out of that, but right now was not the time and I knew it. "I really didn't mean to scare you. I was worried, you'd been gone for over an hour."

She turned around to face me with an extremely confused expression on her face and one of her hands on her hip. "Okay, I'm confused. Why are you here? We haven't exactly been on speaking terms for the past few days."

I made a face that pretty much said, I don't want to talk about it, because if I talk about it I have to relive it, "Two reasons," I grimaced. I figured I could tell her one to try to get her to loosen up, and then explain the real reason why I'd come over even though I know she probably didn't want to see me.

"I walked in on Phil and Leila having sex, and oh my God, I am so damaged, I know you don't care, but ughh," I shook my head and shivered all over, "Phil has got the whitest bum I have ever seen in my life and it's all I can think about."

Her hand fell from her hip and her eyes got huge. "You caught them having sex?" she asked, her voice quite a few octaves higher than usual. "Sex?!" she repeated herself before she started laughing. "Oh my glob. That's amazing," she shook her head as she ran her fingers through her hair. "Good job, Phileila." She began pulling the items she'd gotten from the restaurant out of the bag and it was pretty obvious she was trying not to look at me.

"Well, I think they'd just finished..." okay, Dan, shut the fuck up about Phileila in the throws and tell her why you're really here.
Why can't being serious and telling the truth be as easy as saying I saw Phil naked?!
"And, the other reason," I began, leaning over so that I was forcing myself in her line of vision, "Is because I really wanted to talk to you, about.." I swallowed hard, "Us," I finished, looking at her hopefully.
She rubbed her forehead as she leaned back against the kitchen counter and looked up at me. "What about us?" she asked with sort of a blank expression on her face. She wasn't being herself at all.
"Can we sit down?" I asked and motioned towards the table in the kitchen and slowly made my way towards it. I pulled a chair out for her, then waited for her to sit down before sitting down in the chair beside it.
She followed me without saying a word and sat down on the chair before curling her legs under herself. She put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on the palm of her hand.

"So," I took in a very deep breath as I looked from her, to the floor, and back again, "I don't know where to start, because I've never had to do this before, because I've never.. felt, like this before," I started, then cleared my throat. "Firstly, I owe you a massive apology. I don't think any amount of 'I'm sorries' or, 'please forgive mes' will make up for anything. Actually I know they won't, but I just wanted you to know that I am, so, so sorry, for the way I acted the other night, and the way I've been.. avoiding you these last five days and two and half hours."

Yes, I was paying that much attention. No, I am not ashamed.

"You deserve so much better than that, so I will completely understand if you can't forgive me for it, but I do hope that you will at least let me explain why I did it."

She just stared at me without speaking and I was fairly certain that I was about to have a panic attack or crap my pants. Possibly both. Those eyes of hers could be really intimidating on top of that.

"5 days, 2 hours and 35 minutes, actually," she responded. "And you can explain."

I really couldn't stop myself from grinning, though I didn't let it get the best of me. There was still another huge hurdle that I had to jump over.

Sadly, my long legs won't be any use for this one.

"I... really, really, really, really, kind of, no, no kind ofs," I shook my head. I knew I sounded like a bloody idiot, and honestly? I didn't give a toss.

I sighed and looked at her, "I - you mean a lot to me. My feelings..." I held my hands out in front of me and moved them around, as if I could somehow express how I felt with my hands. "Bloody hell, I feel like I need a gif set to express myself right now."

"Catherine, I adore you, so much. I literally cannot put it into words. I've been trying all bloody day, and nothing is good enough. I don't have enough words in my 21 year old vocabulary to do the way I feel justice," I sighed again. "I can't stop thinking about you, I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since day one.. and it has literally scared the piss out of me." Okay so I haven't literally pissed my pants, but I might as well have. "I know that's no excuse for the way I've been acting... but it's why I've been acting this way."

She bit down on her bottom lip and then moved her hand from her chin to cover her mouth in a failed attempt to hide her smile. Before I could say anything else she started laughing. I mean one of those laughs that's a bit scary because it kind of sounded like a villain laugh of some sort.

"Sorry. I wanted to laugh as soon as you mentioned the gif thing," she said as she shook her head. She sighed and looked down at her hands then looked back up at me. "I'm scared too, Dan. I'm terrified," she laughed. "I mean, I could have just as easily come to you and ended this silence as well but I didn't. I guess I took you acting like that as my way out before I get myself in too deep."

Oh God, she was smiling!

Thank you Jesus!

What a huge relief!

"I never expected you to come to me," I began, "What happened wasn't your fault. At all. I.. like I said, there is no excuse for how much of an ass and tit I have been," Woah, Leila was getting to me. I shook my head again, "I'm not even sure why I did it, I mean I know that I did it because I was scared of how I felt, but looking back on it, I don't know what the fuck I thought I would get out of doing those things to you.. I guess I was distancing myself?" I shrugged, "But that just made things worse. I missed you, can I hug you?" I asked, but I didn't even wait for a yes or a no before I reached my arms out and gave her the tightest squeeze possible.

To my surprise she immediately wrapped her arms around me and buried her face against my neck. We stayed like that for what felt like a long time. Her fingers were moving through the back of my hair and we weren't speaking a word until she finally spoke up.

"I really, really missed you," she whispered against my neck before pulling back so she could look at me. "I know that all of this is scary. I've never felt this way. Ever. It's bizarre. But I know that being away from you like that made me miserable as fuck," she laughed.

I really didn't want to let go of her, but I did, because as good as her touch felt, looking into those gorgeous eyes of hers felt even better. For a long time, I wasn't sure if I'd get to see them again. "This is going to sound so, horrible," I laughed, "But I am so glad to hear you say that.. Knowing that you feel the same way makes me feel better, but kind of worse at the same time now that I think about it.. I should have just explained everything to you instead of trying to run away from it.. but I think, or thought, rather, running away would be easier than telling you.." I shook my head, "Telling you was so much easier."

"I thought that just leaving it alone was better," she replied as she moved her hand to my cheek and moved her thumb over my bottom lip. "I figured I could brainwash myself and pretend none of this ever happened and that I was lucky that things happened the way they did because I wouldn't end up hurt. I should have figured out that I was fucked by the time the 2nd day rolled around and I couldn't be bothered to get my ass off the couch except to get coffee."

I nuzzled my cheek against her hand, "I literally didn't leave my flat until this morning, and I ran into Leila.. she talked some sense into me," and also make me feel like I really was the world's biggest asshole, which I deserved. "May I ask you for a really big favor?" I pulled away from her and brushed her hair away from her face as I studied it.
"Oh, I'm sure that was interesting," she laughed. She raised an eyebrow in curiosity and looked like she was seriously considering whether or not she would do a big favor for me. "What is it?"
"You look like I'm about to ask you for a kidney or something," I laughed. "Which is kind of odd since I am asking for one of your organs.."
I moved my hand from her face to the left side of her chest, and for a moment I'm pretty sure that she thought I was only doing it to cop a feel. "Your heart, to be specific," I smiled. "Let's make this official?" I proposed, searching her eyes. "Be my girlfriend?"
Her eyes got huge and I mean like that deer in headlights look she got every time I managed to scare the crap out of her. "You want to make Can an official ship?" she asked, grinning from ear to ear.

I know I should have just said that. I couldn't stop myself from laughing as I nodded, "That's exactly what I want."

She shrugged her shoulders and wrinkled up her nose. "Eeh. I'll think about it."

Just as I couldn't stop myself from laughing a few seconds earlier, I couldn't keep my jaw from hanging open as I looked at her like she'd just punched me in the gut. That's literally how I felt - like the breath had just been knocked out of me.

After a minute or so, I collected myself enough to actually respond to her. "Take all the time you need," my voice was quiet, and I tried to hide the sadness that was in my voice. I guess I shouldn't have gotten my hopes up too high, not after treating her so badly.

"Dan!" she said my name like I'd just done something horribly wrong but before I could really react, she was off of her chair and on my lap. She grabbed my face and pressed her lips against mine as her body settled down on top of me. Her tongue moved past my lips with an urgency I had only felt from her the first time we had sex.

Well, this is confusing.

She finally broke the kiss but still held my face to make me look up at her. "I guess you were unaware that you've had my heart since you named me Whiskers," she grinned before leaning in and kissing my lips. "Yes. I'll be your girlfriend."

What?!

I mean, yeah, great, but... WHAT?

I laughed again, no longer feeling like I had shat my own heart out. "You are a massive fucking troll!" I told her, "Seriously, that was worse than thinking Slenderman had found my apartment!" I was talking with my hands, holding them out in front of me as if they could elaborate on how horrible she had just made the last sixty seconds of my existence.

I slid my arms back around her, hugging her as I pressed my lips against hers. She was definitely the most perfect woman in the entire world.

Cat's POV

Leila and I were walking out of the bookstore where she'd just done a signing when my phone started ringing in my jacket pocket. I pulled it out and grinned over at her. "Boyfriend calling!" But I'm sure she already knew that it was him since my ringtone was him singing about bananas.
"Hey sexyface!" I answered already wishing that I was going home to see him in person instead of just talking to him on the phone. "How was your flight?"
"Hey gorgeous," he replied in a sing-song voice, "It was long and miserable and I'm so glad that it's over," he laughed. "I miss you already though."
I poked my bottom lip out even though he couldn't see me. "I miss you too. I'm not sure I'm going to make it through 2 weeks without you. You're a very good cuddle partner."
I couldn't see him, but I was sure he was making his best pouty face, "I know. That's going to be more miserable than another 16 hour flight, having to go so long without seeing you," he whined. "When I get to the hotel how do you feel about Skyping?" he asked me, "We can get sexual," he added with a laugh.

"That actually sounds pretty tempting," I laughed...but I was serious. I'd take any chance to see him naked. It's a truly delicious sight. "Let's just hope time goes by super fast. I think I'm already suffering through the first stages of Dan withdrawals."

"Then let's do it," he laughed, but from the tone of his voice I could tell that he was being completely serious, "It wouldn't be the first time I've violently fapped in front of my computer. Oh, so much porn," he sighed. "You won't have to miss me for too much longer, I promise. I should be settled in in a few hours. I'll call you then, alright?"
I had to take a few seconds to reprocess everything he had said before and after the violently fapping comment because that was stuck in my head and doing interesting things to me. "That sounds great, babe. I'll definitely be looking forward to it. Be careful."
Phil called Leila while we were on our way back to the apartment and they talked for a few minutes as well but we were still looking and acting like mopey titbags by the time we got home.
"I don't like this," I whined as I dropped my bag onto the floor and walked towards the hall. "They've not even been gone for 2 days and I'm like WHAT IS MY LIIIIIIIIFE?"
Leila collapsed onto the couch and huffed, "Tell me about it!" I could hear something shuffling, which I assumed was her arms and legs flailing around on the couch. "And of course Phil has to tell me about how warm it is there, and was like 'well at least I won't be cold without you," she used his accent. "Thanks, babe, because I'm not going to freeze my tits off or anything here."
"AWWWW!" I yelled. I like to yell. "Phil should write a fucking book of romantical one liners," I said as I sifted through my growing collection of Dan's clothes to find a shirt and pair of boxers to wear.
"Oddly enough," Leila began before I heard the sound of her footsteps against the hardwood of the hallway, "He mentioned doing that," she laughed for a few seconds then started to whine. "Why I stay single reason 999. I hate missing people!" The latter part of her sentence was muffled, as I'm assuming she had decided to move her pity party from the living room to her bedroom.
I walked out of my room once I was dressed again and peeked into hers. "Reasons not to stay single. Phil Lester's cock," I said before walking back down the hallway towards the kitchen. "Lele! You have a notification on your phone," I yelled when I saw her phone lighting up on the couch.
Nothing moves faster than the speed of light? Bullshit! Nothing moves faster than Leila when her phone goes off.
I didn't even hear her coming, I just saw her dive onto the couch, scrambling for her iphone, "Yay, a new e-mail," she said unenthusiastically as she stood up and moved towards the kitchen where I was standing.
"Leila, I'm sorry to inform you that the signing this week has been cancelled," she read out loud, "Oh PERFECT! Now I can be lonely and bored."
"You are not gonna be lonely!" I said as I shut the refrigerator door. "What am I? Chopped liver? Gah. Dan was right. You just don't even need your peasant without a penis anymore." I then pulled my best pouty face and started to sniffle.
She rolled her eyes, "You know what I meant!" laughing she latched onto me like a child to her mother's leg. "Peasant without a penis, you know I looooove you," she baby talked. "I just miss my peasant with a penis. I told you about how wonderful his penis is. It fills me with the best of feels."
I latched onto her as well and nuzzled my face in her hair like a crazy person. "Phil fills you and gives you feels?" I asked, laughing at myself. "Aw. I miss Dan's penis now," I sighed. "Oh well. Time to tumblr for 2 weeks while they're gone," I patted her head before walking over to the couch and sitting down.
I'm not sure what made the idea pop into my head but as I was reaching for my laptop I had one of those moments where a lightbulb would have appeared over my head if I were a cartoon. "Dude!" I squealed while flailing my arms into the air. "Why don't we just go to LA?" I grabbed my laptop and quickly opened it. "I mean, we'd only have to pay for the plane tickets. We still have the apartment so we can stay there. We could go to the convention thingy and surprise the boys."
Leila just stared at me with her mouth open, like she was trying to process the idea, before a loud squeal left her lips. "OH MY GOD!" It was obvious that she hadn't even thought of that as being an option. "We wouldn't even have to pay for the tickets! We never went home after we came here.. obviously," she laughed and flailed her arms. "We can use them I think.. and even if we can't, fuck it!" it was always so easy to tell when she was excited about something, because my very smart best friend, would stop making sense and just sputter out nonsense.
I tilted my head and tried very hard to understand what she meant. "Okay I'm just going to assume you for sure meant that you wanted to go, spazballs," I laughed. "Okay, we'd have to leave as soon as possible if we want to surprise them at the convention. But, we should probably wait to talk to them on Skype so they don't think something is wrong. Or should we be evil trolls and let them think we've been taken away by Phans?"
She looked at me like I was crazy, "Screw Skype! Let's troll them! They won't even have a chance to get upset once they see us there," she nodded quickly.

18 hours and what felt like 65 different lay overs later, we were in LA.
It was really bizarre to be there again. LA and London were so different from each other and while I loved LA, I realized as soon as I walked out of the airport that day that my true love had become London.
What was really weird was going back to our apartment. Holy fuck it was like the land of dust in there. We only had 2 hours after we landed to get to the convention so there was no time to sleep. We'd both caught a few cat naps, harhar, on the plane but we were still really delirious from lack of proper sleep.
In the car on the way to the location for the YouTube convention the boys were in LA for, I looked down at my phone for an update on how many times Dan had called me.
"14," I said out loud before sliding my phone into my bag. I reached over and picked Le's phone up from her leg and looked at how many missed calls she had. "16. Dammit. You're beating me!" I laughed. "I hope they're not pissed when we show up. For all we know they've got the police at the apartment searching for our bodies."
Leila laughed, "In Dan's defense, you did get more text messages than me," she pointed out. "I can't see them getting mad, but if they do, I'm telling them this was your idea!"
"You do realize that it was your idea to just leave and blow off Skyping with them, right?" I said as I looked over at her from the passenger's seat.
"Damn,"
Obviously she had forgotten all about that.
"FUCKING MOVE!" Leila laid down on the horn, and I suddenly remembered another reason why I hated Los Angeles. The traffic was re-fucking-diculous. The building for the convention was literally two traffic lights away but I knew we'd be stuck waiting at least another fifteen minutes in this bizarre traffic jam. "Uh oh," Leila looked down at her lap, "Wait for it, wait for it.. okay, I'm up to 21 missed calls now."
"Fuck!" I slapped my hand against the dash. "Dude, I feel like Bella Swan in New Moon when she's gonna go stop Edward from gettin naked in front of that clock and shit. Every time I see that I always think 'I bet she's about to get some nervous diarrhea urges'."
What the fuck is even wrong with me?
Le bursted out laughing, "Right?! Surprisingly I'm not about to shit myself," she said. That's a first. "I am really nervous though! Why am I nervous? Are you nervous?!" Oh yeah, she was definitely nervous. She talked a lot when her nerves got worked up.
"Yes, I'm nervous. You sound a bit like a crackhead right now so I can definitely tell you're nervous," I laughed.
'I like bananas, I like bananas in the sunshiiiine..'
My ringtone went off again and I literally stuffed my hands behind my back to keep myself from answering. "I'm losing my will power, dude. I miss him. Oh that's so pathetic, Cat. Really?" I shook my head as I looked out the window. Thankfully we were about to pull into the parking lot at the convention center where this gathering was located. Of course it was fucking packed. I was expecting that.
"So close!" I said as I started bouncing up and down in my seat.
"It's not pathetic! But you better not answer your phone! Stick to your guns, woman!" Leila drummed her hands against the steering wheel. "SO, excited! Eep!" She squealed.
After five minutes of inching across the packed parking lot to avoid taking people out of the game by running them over, we finally found an empty parking place.

Of course it was like half a mile away from the building the convention was in, so it took that much longer to get to it. Luckily we were both pretty good power-walkers from our peasant days. Leila was dragging me around and cutting people off left and right, while I was saying 'sorry,' to all of them as we passed.

Now, I'm generally just a very paranoid person so I tend to think that anyone who glances my way and moves their lips at the same time is talking to me but it kept happening repeatedly as we made our way to the building. I didn't have time to ask Leila if she was noticing cause the woman was on a mission.

We finally made our way inside and got into the actual convention. "If I were a wild Dan and Phil, where would I be?" I said out loud as I stood on my tip toes to look around us.

Leila was doing the same as me, though I think she might have had a chance at being successful at finding them given that she was taller, "What if they're not even here?" she said, still dragging me by my arm as she searched the crowd, "I mean they keep calling us, what if they left?" she looked down at me and started laughing, even though she knew what she was saying wasn't the least bit funny.

"Sssssssshit!" I said as I thought about that. She was right. What if we had trolled them a little too hard and they were on a plane to London right now?
Panic mode in 5, 4, 3, 2-
"Oh my God! It's Whiskers!"
I paused and looked up at Leila. "Did someone just say Whiskers?"
"Oh shit!" Leila pointed behind me to what I saw to be a group of 20 or so people storming towards us, all saying something about "Whiskers."
"It's Dan's girlfriend!" said one girl.
"Hi Whiskers!" said another.

"Oh my God, we didn't know you were going to be here!" and another.

I know my eyes had to be as big as fucking dinner plates while I was looking at them. I hadn't even thought about anyone at this thing noticing me or Leila.

"Hi!" I waved, trying not to look like a totally awkward fucktard. "I didn't know I'd be here either," I laughed as they all began surrounding Leila and I.

I knew that Leila was probably watching to see if any weapons were about to be pulled. This was probably an exact replica of one of her Phan nightmares.

"Leila too!" one of the girls in the group pointed out that Leila was standing with me and there was a collective sound of random. "Hey Leilas!" in the group. People walking by were starting to look over at all of us like 'who the fuck are they?'

"I ship Phileila!" one of the girls in the group said with her hand raised and I laughed and glanced over at Leila.

"Uh, thanks!" Leila laughed then glanced down at me, nonchalantly leaning in and saying, "What the fuck? What do we do?" while still smiling and waving at the girls who were surrounding us. And I mean they were really surrounding us.

"Can we get pictures with you guys?!" Someone asked. I couldn't tell you who, there were way too many people talking and saying things to us to even attempt to figure out which one had said it.

"Sure, why not?" I shrugged, looking up at Leila like 'Is this real life?'.

Over the next few minutes we got a taste of what life was like for our boyfriends at events like these. Well, not exactly. Neither of us got licked or anything.

I can't remember the last time I was ever in that many photos. I hoped I didn't look at jet lagged and delirious as I felt.
"There's Dan and Phil!" I thought I heard someone in the crowd say but I was mid picture pose and I couldn't look away and end up like cross eyed with my mouth hanging open in a photo that might end up on tumblr.
"What the-" I knew that voice.
"What, in the fucking fuck?!" That was Dan. No doubt about it.
He was surrounded by girls, and a few guys, but he wasn't looking at any of them. Nope, he was looking directly at me like I'd sprouted another head.
"Phil!" who was a few feet away from Dan, turned his attention to him. Dan pointed in my general direction and Phil's eyes soon followed.
"Leila?" I heard Phil's voice quite loudly over all of the giggling and whispering that was now going on around us as well as camera flashes. "What the hell?"
ha. ha. He cussed in front of everyone.
"Busted," I looked over at Leila and grinned.
"Excuse me ladies," I looked over to see Phil squeezing his way through the many girls who were standing between him and Leila. Once they realized what he was doing they started to move out of the way and I swear the absolute cutest, biggest smile was on his face by the time he got to her and pulled her into his arms. "Oh my God. I was so worried," I heard him say against her hair as he hugged her like he hadn't seen her in a week.
"I missed you! That's why I'm here," she was squeezing him back. I don't think either of them stopped to think, or even cared, really, that everyone surrounding them was snapping pictures of them.
"What are you even doing here!?" Dan's voice came out of nowhere and his arms slipped around me from my back as he planted a kiss on my cheek.
"Awwww!" I heard this from several of the girls around us as they watched all of us interact. I had been so focused on Leila and Phil that it actually scared me when I felt Dan's arms sneak around me.
I turned around to face him quickly and literally jumped into his arms and hugged him as tightly as I could. "No more Dan withdrawals!" I said as I squeezed the ever living shit out of him. Fuck, he smelled SO. GOOD.
"You had me terrified, I really thought something was wrong with you!" Dan told me as he pulled away from me. "You could have at least told me that you were coming. Oh my God, I've called you like 30 times," he laughed and shook his head. "I felt like a stalker!"
"My how the tables have turned," I grinned up at him.
"I was seriously about to call the manager of our building to go see if you two had electrocuted yourselves or something," Phil spoke up which made me laugh. He was referring to the day that Leila and I were getting ready in our bathroom together and I tried to plug my hair straightener up without my power converter.
We had some unwanted fireworks in the apartment that morning.
Meanwhile, we still had people standing around us watching us interact with each other like we were a live soap opera.
"Excuse me, would everyone like to gather round for a photo?" I heard a very familiar voice say, "It's for the LA Times!"
Leila must have noticed the voice too, because she was looking around trying to figure out where it had come from, a very confused look on her face.
"You have GOT to be kidding me!" Leila laughed, "Cat, look who it is!" she said, pointing towards a very tall, very thin body that was dressed in a very hideous pantsuit.
I pulled back from Dan's arms and turned around to see that it was exactly who I thought it was when I heard her voice. "Oh holy fuck," I laughed and rolled my eyes.
"What? Who is that?" Phil asked, looking down at Leila.
I looked up at Dan who was looking at me with a confused expression. "Medusa," I whispered in an evil sounding voice knowing he'd know who I meant.
"Nah, I think we'll skip out on gathering around for a photo but thanks for asking!" I replied to her with the most fake sounding plesant voice I had ever heard fly out of my face.
"Hey Medusa!" Leila waved with the hand that wasn't wrapped around Phil's waist.
Phil was still looking down at her, more confused than ever. "Who is Medusa?" he asked just as Medusa stepped beside him.
"Our old boss," she told him as she looked up at him again.
Sharon looked between the four of us then pushed her glasses up on her nose, "Well, well, well. Did you finally get yourselves new jobs as custodians?" she asked, which, by they way, made no fucking sense, since none of us were wearing jumpsuits that had our names on them. Or were going around picking up trash, or anything else that would make her think they we were fucking janitors.
"They're Dan and Phil's girlfriends!" one of the girls spoke up like everyone in the world was supposed to know this fact. I wish I could have reached that girl to give her a high five.
"Yeah, who the hell are you, you waffly twat!" another person spoke up and I immediately started laughing.
"It's official, y'all have the best fans ever," I looked up at Dan before glancing back over at Medusa.
"So, she's the one who fired you after you nearly got hit by a car in a pile of shit?" Dan asked loudly enough for everyone around us to hear.
"That'd be her. Let's not forget how she treated Leila and I like complete shit during the entire year we worked for her," I added to that. "Oh, Medusa! Have you heard? Leila's book is being turned into a film. We're living in London now. It's pretty fucking great. How's your husband doing? Still sucking the pool boy's cock?"
Everyone around us went into a fit of laughter. Well, everyone but Medusa. She just continued to stare at me like she was trying to make my head explode.
"Or has he gone back to porking his secretary?" Leila had to add insult to injury. It was common knowledge that Mr. Medusa fucked around her. He'd tried to involve me in it - but I'd rather fuck a cactus.

Sharon rolled her eyes, "I'm sure you live in London, that must be why you're here instead of there," she said condescendingly, then turned her attention to Leila. "And there's no way they would turn such a horrible book, written by someone who can't even write an obituary, into a movie. Really, Ms Faust, you should go back to mommy and daddy, you'll never make it here. Your work is mediocre at best."

"They do live in London! Everybody knows that!" someone in the crowd shouted at her. "Go away!"

I swear, I hadn't felt that kind of rage since the night I called Dan a waffly twat. I could feel my face and ears turning red and my hands starting to tremble.

"Sharon, your best bet is going to be to walk the fuck away now because I'm about to cause a scene and you really, really do not want that to happen." My voice was too calm and even scary to me.

"Uhhh. Should we walk away before Cat's claws come out?" I heard Phil asking Leila.

Leila didn't get a chance to reply - because as soon as her lips parted to speak, Medusa started running her mouth.

"Oh, don't even get me started on you," she laughed, "A blind person could take better photographs than you. The only reason you lasted as long as you did at the Times is because you were sleeping your way around the office. You don't have talent, you're just a whore."

I could hear people gasping around us and I swear it felt like I was about to shoot fucking daggers out of my eyes at this bitch. "Oh hell no," I said as I let go of Dan's hand and began to move past people to walk towards her.

"Have you lost your fucking mind?" I asked her. Well, I yelled at her once I was out of the crowd and near her. "I think you've got me confused with yourself, you tragic ass basic bitch."

Oh yeah. Southern ghetto Cat was flying out of me with no hope of being controlled.

Before I could even think twice about it, I closed the small distance between us with my fist and punched her right in the nose which I'm sure cost more than my apartment in London.

Medusa gasped and her hand flung to her face, and seconds later I could see blood pouring from beneath it.

"I AM CALLING THE POLICE! YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL!" she shrieked. "ROGER! ROGER! Call the cops! This piece of filth just assaulted me!"

"Oh my fuck!" Dan grasped me by my shoulders and pulled me away from her, "Cat, don't do anything else, she's not worth going to jail over."

"OH IT DOESN'T MATTER, SHE IS GOING TO JAIL!" Medusa yelled.

There was an uproar from the Phandom, and even people who weren't members of it, screaming and throwing things at Medusa and Captain-Annoying, whose real name was Roger.

That wouldn't have been a bad thing, if some of the articles flying around weren't missing her. Phil had gotten hit with a full cup of coke, Dan now had soft serve in his hair, Leila was drenched in - I don't even know what the fuck, and I had nacho cheese all over me.

"Going to jail is totally worth it. I've wanted to punch your plastic face for ages," I laughed sort of like a maniac. "And I'm not entirely sure of who you're calling filthy. I think all of your employees have probably smelled your stinky snatch when they walk into your office several times." I should have shut up but I couldn't stop. "You are just a gigantic cunt covered in shit. I hope that someone fucking-"

"Ma'am!" I heard a man's voice from behind me before I felt someone grab my arm and literally jerk me away from Dan so that I stumbled and almost busted my ass.

"Don't arrest Whiskers!" one of the girl's near us yelled and looked genuinely traumatized by what was happening.

OH fuck. I hadn't even thought about the fact that I was standing there in front of Dan and Phil's fans and had punched that bitch in the face along with saying some very colorful things.

Good job representing Team Can, Cat.

"You're under arrest," the guy said as he pulled my arms behind my back way more roughly than necessary. "Shit," I sighed. "Dan, can you get my phone out of my pocket? Leila has my wallet in her purse."

"Oh my God. This is not happening right now," Phil spoke up as he and Leila got closer to where I was now being handcuffed in front of everyone. I glanced over at Medusa to see blood still pouring from her nose and staining her ugly pant suit.

Totally worth it.

Dan approached me and a second officer stepped in front of him, "I'm going to need you, to get back," he said sternly.

"I'm getting her phone from her," Dan informed him and without waiting for any kind of response he brushed by him and went straight for me.

"We'll get you out as soon as we can," he told me as he stuck both of his hands into my pockets, trying to figure out which one my phone was inside of.

Once he had it, he tucked it into his own pant pocket and I could see a smile curving his lips even though I knew he was trying to remain serious, "That was saucy," he wiggled his eyebrows and leaned in to pop a kiss on my lips.

"Alright, that's enough!" the police officer yelled, yanking Dan away from me.

The cop who had been handcuffing me then proceeded to escort me out of the building. "I love you all! Don't change too much while I'm in the big house!" I yelled over my shoulder before he pulled me through the door and outside to his car.