So, this was a long time coming. I wish I could've given this to you guys for Christmas, but of course Christmas, and then both Raph and I were sick and- So now you get it for New Years! (I promise updates will be faster now that we're not worrying about Christmas Cramming ;)
Disclaimer: We don't own any sports franchises! (Yet.)
I want to play.
A shrill whistle, announcing another point received.
I want to play.
Sugawara, the other second years filling the air with their cheers, hoarse encouragement.
Why can't I play?
His knee bounced up and down, fingers drumming ceaselessly against the metal. For what was probably the first time, Kuroko felt like Hinata- energy pulsing through his veins, pushing him into motion.
Except that he couldn't play.
The thought ached.
It wasn't the only thing.
His joints protested any movement- warm ups had been equal parts welcome and torture. It was painfully obvious that he wasn't anywhere near full health- that would only come with time and recuperation.
He didn't want to wait for his muscles to stop shaking at the slightest bits of exercise. He wanted to stop having to take medicine every four hours to make sure his brain could function.
Kuroko wanted to play.
You're not going to get to. Not with how good Hinata is doing, a small voice said snidely in his ears, a seed of jealousy curling in his stomach as the oranget went to spike sporting a huge grin, cheering with the team when it went through.
When the team called a timeout, Kuroko did nothing but sit on the bench, watching silently as everyone interacted, passing around water bottles and towels. Any questions on his health were met with a blank stare and a nod.
And for the most part he was left alone- until Daichi sat down with a furrowed brow and explanation on his lips.
"I'm sorry we can't put you in," Daichi said, sounding surprisingly apologetic, "But we need you as a trump card. We're going to be facing Seijou in the future. If we show you off now, there's no doubt in my mind that they'll find a counter for you." The captain's crease got larger as he stared at their opponents on the other side.
"For now, we're trying to keep their focus on the freak duo. Then," he said, looking back at Kuroko with a smirk, "you'll come on the court, and we'll beat them and go to Nationals."
Kuroko nodded obediently.
What Captain says goes. Kuroko was just surprised that Daichi had deigned to explain his reasoning. -He didn't dare to hope that the comment had been spurred by some care for his mental state. He had been wrong about that too many times in the past to nurture that hope now.-
Daichi looked at him for a moment as if waiting for a response before shrugging and gathering the team for a huddle. Then they were off again, and Kuroko was left to ruminate over Captain's words.
On the one hand, Daichi had more than enough reason to stop him from getting on the court. Kuroko's Misdirection had a limited amount of time that it worked on the court -nobody but Hinata knows why you're called the Phantom, stop trying to fool yourself- The more people were exposed to it the greater the chances that they would find a way around it.
Another whistle, in Seijou's favor this time.
On the other hand, that might not be the only reason Daichi was stopping him from playing. He was sick, and it was honestly a miracle that he hadn't infected everyone else on the team yet. Limiting his amount of contact with a ball that would be passing hands a lot was probably wise. But all that logic didn't lesson his want to play any- didn't lessen the feeling that he just wasn't needed here.
Not needed never needed why did you come?
He pressed a fist against his chest, rubbing at the tension that had built up there.
"Kuroko? You alright?"
Sugawara's voice was a surprise. His lungs expanded suddenly, and he blinked several times to bring himself back to the present. "Sugawara-senpai?" he asked.
The silver-haired man was staring at him in that way that made his heart clench again. Was it the chest pains returning or the way Sugawara was looking at him like he was almost concerned? "You looked like you were in pain for a minute there." The setter said leadingly.
"Ah. No, I'm fine Senpai. You don't need to worry about me." He insisted, straightening. He shoved his hands in his lap, trying to warm the cold digits. Dang it. The last thing he wanted right now was to give Captain more of a reason to keep him on the bench.
"Just because I don't need to worry about you doesn't mean I don't, you know" Sugawara said gently. He turned slightly, eyeing the match. "It hurts not being able to play, doesn't it?"
Kuroko blinked. That wasn't where he expected this conversation to go.
You weren't expecting to have a conversation at all.
He ignored the snide murmurings. "You're more observant than people think, Sugawara-senpai." Which was a nice change from being completely overlooked 99% of the time, but he seemed cursed to be noticed in the exact moments he didn't want to be.
Sugawara looked indignant. "What is that supposed to mean?"
The sudden show of concern and open indignation was enough to make a laugh want to bubble out of his throat. That laugh died instantly when his eyes caught Turnip's hair attempting to block Hinata. He was vindictively pleased when his hands didn't even come close to the oranget's spike.
The tension, the undivided focus of those on the court, they moved something in him, and Kuroko found himself opening up a bit, like a flower unfurling tentatively in dawn's gentle light. "I . . . was thinking of my old team," Kuroko said slowly, Sugawara-senpai turning to listen politely. "I was benched a lot back then too."
Of course, that was the simplest explanation, with no need to go into detail. But Sugawara would understand. He always had before. And, true to form, Sugawara reached up to grasp Kuroko's shoulder with a steady hand.
"You know we all care about you, right?" Sugawara said, head tilted so that he could meet Kuroko's eyes, that strange undercurrent of steel returning. -The steel he'd only seen once, back when Kise had shown his face- "We're not going to abandon you, and we're not going to stop worrying about you. Invisible or not, we're gonna look after you."
"Sugawara-senpai," Kuroko said, warmth flooding him. His brain was going fuzzy again- he wanted to lay down. A stray thought passed from his head to his lips without asking permission first. "You're the mom friend, aren't you?"
The sudden sputtering was strangely satisfying, and he turned back to watch the match, allowing a brief lapse of the iron control he'd learned so he could lean briefly against Sugawara's shoulder and murmur a Thank You.
The hand fluffing his hair in return felt much better than it logically should. But he was content to throw logic out the window for a day.
His warmth and contentment was ruined in a split second of noise.
The squealing was so sudden he jerked to his feet, shoulders tense and mind spinning with who's screaming what's wrong who's fighting where's Hinata.
And also dizziness, but that didn't matter when people were closing ranks around him in response to Ki-
It wasn't Kise.
He was fine.
At least, that was what he told himself as he unclenched his fingers, staring idly at the nail marks he'd left on his palms. He had to avoid eye contact with the brown-haired volleyball player that had just entered and was staring at him out of the corner of his eye.
Not good.
But then the brunet was getting hit in the head with a volleyball, and he was acting like an idiot, and the tension around the team dissolved, even as his own heightened.
A calculating stare hidden behind a cheerful facade. How many times had he noted that exact same oxymoronic combination in his old teammates? From people you would never expect to be cunning having the capability of tearing you apart after a glance.
This newcomer, whoever he was, was dangerous.
"I'm going to kill him," Tanaka commented, cracking his knuckles. Daichi facepalmed, sighing, and the tension dropped out of the team's frames, one at a time.
"Tanaka, no," Daichi pleaded.
"Tanaka, yes," Tsukishima rebutted, glancing at Kuroko so quickly he blinked to make sure he hadn't imagined it, but when he looked again Tsukishima was sneering at the brunet. "I'm irritated just looking at this guy."
Tsukishima has good instincts, Kuroko thought, eyes scanning the whole gym, noting the fangirls on the balcony, the Seijou coach exchanging words with the newcomer, Hinata's untied shoelace. If he's feeling the same impending doom that I am.
"Tsukki, calm down," Yamaguchi said weakly, nerves chipping away even more at his normal composure. Surprisingly, Tsukishima heard and paid attention to Yamaguchi's stuttered words, because his shoulders lost some of their tightness, hands coming to his side.
"Oh well. We'll just have to crush him even harder, won't we?"
The whistle blew- the start of the second half was starting.
"I want in," Kuroko blurted. Everyone around him turned with various expressions of shock and concern.
"We've told you before," Sugawara started kindly, and he shook his head harshly. How was he supposed to explain that this was different? He didn't just want to play anymore- there was something coming, he needed to be out there for it-
"This isn't that."
"Are you wanting to play against Oikawa?" Kinoshita asked, and Kuroko jerked, looking over at the second year's open features.
"We get it," Narita added. "All of us. But there's only so many positions on the court, right? So the ones that have the best chance of beating the pants off of them go in."
"That seems wrong," Kuroko said, voice quieting as he took in the court. Seijou was starting with the ball. "Shouldn't it be the ones who want to play the most?"
"You're not the only one to think like that," Sugawara said, and Kuroko studied the third year's gentle features that were belied by his fierce eyes. "But personally, I think that the ones who want to play the most are the ones who tend to work the hardest. All that desire fuels their practice- eventually they'll have to get their chance on the court, don't you think?"
"Not always," Kuroko muttered bitterly.
He remembered all too well his days in third string- wanting was not nearly enough motivation for those members. They could want and wish all they liked- if you didn't put any work in, it didn't matter.
Still, there was a kernel of truth to what Sugawara-senpai had said. Kuroko had wanted it, had wanted it so badly he dedicated every spare moment of time to it- and with a bit of luck -quite literally running into Aomine in the fourth gym in his after-practice session, Akashi taking him under his wing- he had gotten out on the court.
Not everyone was that lucky.
A silence had descended upon the group after his words.
He left it. There was nothing he wanted to add to his statement- he didn't want to clarify, didn't want to prompt any questions- nor did he want to retract it. Everyone would see that for the lie it was, no matter how little they knew him.
Instead, he busied himself analyzing the game -Turnip tended to jump off on his right foot, but his shots angled to the left in a strange quirk he didn't think was purposeful.- all the while keeping an eye on Oikawa.
The Kise look alike was warming up diligently, with a focus and rigor that reminded him of the first string back in Teiko. The single-mindedness and determination to be at the top of your game-
He dragged himself out of that line of thought immediately, scrutinizing the player to find out what else had triggered the memory.
A minute of study held the answer. The exercises Oikawa was doing- stretching different parts of his knees, ankles, and lesser tendons- they were familiar to Kuroko, as a basketball player, but it had never been something they had done in Karasuno.
He turned it over in his mind, turning the majority of his attention back to the game.
So, he either played basketball in the past, he thought, as Ennoshita went for a spike that was picked up immediately by #4, Seijou has different warm ups as we do, Seijou didn't manage a spike, barely making it over the net, which Hinata instantly rectified, their points ticking up another notch, or he has some reason for why he needs to strengthen those specific set of muscles.
And there was only one reason someone in volleyball would need to do leg strengthening exercises. Aomine had been forced into them by Akashi so that he could jump as many times as he did. Same with Murasakibara. Same with anyone in basketball so they didn't suffer jumper's knee.
Kuroko would put a lot of money on Oikawa suffering from it. He'd bet against anyone that said otherwise- might even make a bundle of money off it too, seeing as nobody at Karasuno knew not to bet against him yet. (nobody except Hinata, and he could be roped into ridiculous bets more times than not anyways)
But that only meant that Oikawa worked hard enough to necessitate that kind of conditioning, which only made him more dangerous.
He mulled the problem over in his head, studying the brunet's fluid movements. Despite Oikawa's carefree attitude Kuroko knew he had to be a top tier player just from the fact that he was at Aoba Johsai.
What you need is a way to defeat him.
He couldn't take advantage of his knee. It wouldn't have gotten bad enough that they could do anything to exacerbate it- at least not in the short term. Not to mention that line of thought was too reminiscent of Akashi's 'do anything to win' rhetoric to sit well with him.
That left outsmarting him- and of course, the best way to outsmart your enemy is to know them better than they know themselves. He shivered. Study them, Tetsuya. How do they move, how do they react, what are their tells that they don't even know they have? Use them. Become what you were meant to be.
He. Really wished that he had been paying more attention to the game. He'd been so deep in his thoughts that he completely missed the fact that Hinata still hadn't tied his shoelaces. Completely missed when his friend tripped on said shoelaces as he went to receive.
What he didn't miss was the slide, the girlish shriek as Hinata completely missed the ball and rammed straight into Ennoshita's nose.
"Time!" The ref called, blowing the whistle, clambering down from his place next to the net and grabbing a first aid kit. Kuroko was the first one off the bench, pushing through the people crowding around the duo to see what the damage was.
"Hinata?" Kuroko said anxiously, trying to pull him off of where he was splayed against Ennoshita.
"Grrrbbbjjdjkj," Hinata protested, rolling out of his hands and around on the floor. Ennoshita echoed the oranget's groans, though his were muffled by his hands and blood and-
Kuroko tore his eyes away from the wing spiker, refocusing on Hinata as the ref pushed through, going immediately to Ennoshita's possibly broken nose.
"C'mon Hinata," He said, dragging the oranget to his feet and refusing to let him crumple again. "You have a harder head than that, you're fine."
At least he hoped. The guy had taken a basketball to the face- one of Kuroko's ignite passes no less. He could handle bonking heads.
"Graaaahh, ack, no don't touch it, Ow! Jeez, Tsu-kun!"
"Sorry," Kuroko said, not sorry at all as he pushed orange hair (way too long) out of the way so that he could see. The skin was raising around where Hinata'd gotten hit, but it wasn't turning colors or bruising yet, so he'd probably be fine.
"You all right, Hinata?" Sugawara asked, appearing at Kuroko's shoulder with an ice pack and a tremble in his voice.
"Urrg, fine," Hinata grumbled, taking the ice pack and nursing his head. "I've been hit harder- a nose is a first for me, though."
"Add it to the list," Kuroko muttered, relieved.
"You don't seem to be suffering from a concussion," Sugawara noted, eyes searching Hinata thoroughly. "You got lucky."
"Luck has nothing to do with it," Kuroko said, shooting an amused glance at a now pouting Hinata. "He has the hardest head I've ever seen."
"Well, we'll thank his thick skull for keeping our decoy's brain safe, then," Sugawara chortled.
"What's left of it, you mean," Tsukishima deadpanned.
Hinata spluttered.
"Oi! Rude! I've just been headbutted-"
"Doing the headbutting, more like-"
Kuroko sighed.
"I've got an ice pack! Give me more sympathy!"
What are they, five?
"If anyone deserves sympathy its Ennoshita-san, he's the one sitting out with a broken nose."
Kuroko blinked. "Sitting out?" He interrupted, hopes rising despite himself. He glanced at the ref, who was putting up the first aid kit, looking like he was giving instructions to the now benched Ennoshita. He looked at Daichi. "Who are you subbing him with? We're still playing, right?"
Daichi gave him a look, and he swallowed, spine straightening. The team quieted, watching.
I want this, he tried to project. I'm fine. I want to play. I need to play.
Daichi sighed, rubbing the crease in his nose. "Fine. Just until Ennoshita's nose stops bleeding. I wasn't kidding about you being our trump card, alright? And for goodness sakes, be careful. We don't need any more injuries on top of you being sick."
"Yes sir," Kuroko said, not bothering to feel embarrassed over his use of the term, instead turning a bright smile to Hinata. I get to play~ The oranget, to his surprised, was nursing a contemplative frown.
"Are you sure you're okay to be playing?" He murmured, watching the rest of the team scatter to either talk to Ennoshita or retake their places on the court. Daichi was exchanging words with the ref- probably to facilitate Kuroko playing.
Playing.
"I'll be fine," Kuroko dismissed. He would be. It wouldn't be very long, most likely- they only had about half of the second set left, anyways. He'd make it. When Hinata still said nothing, Kuroko shot him a look -not a glare, but firm, he wouldn't be swayed on this- "I'm not going back on the bench. Not again."
Hinata flinched, looking hurt. "You don't trust me? Don't trust us to win for you?"
Kuroko blinked, hard. That wasn't- how did Hinata even come to that conclusion? "Of course I do- that's not-" he took a breath, trying to organize his scattered thoughts. "I'm tired of sitting out, Shoyo," He said quietly. "I'm tired of not being needed."
Hinata's fingers twitched, and straightened to his full height, looking at Kuroko straight on.
"Tsu-kun, you were on the bench because you are sick, not because you weren't needed or aren't good enough or whatever other lies your brain is telling you. We were trying to look out for you, and if that isn't part of your vocabulary you better add it darn quick because we're not going to stop."
For a moment, silence reigned, and Kuroko could do nothing but gawk and try to absorb the heatpassiondetermination emanating from Hinata, like a moon drawing light from the sun.
Then the whistle was blowing to mark the restart of the game, and it was game time.
They shared a look of mutual understanding, and with a bump of fists returned the fire, burning just as brightly as it had in that three on three. No, he realized, as the team huddled together with a cheer. Better.
Because it wasn't just him and Hinata and Kageyama anymore, he realized, whacking hands with everyone as he took his place on the court, nodding to the setter. They were a team.
The ball came sailing across the net, and he felt a surge of energy as it whacked into his waiting arms.
It felt like coming home.
"We got pork buns!" Daichi called, holding up the bag.
"Uwahhh!" Hinata squealed, practically sparkling. Kuroko grinned at the expression, bowing in thanks and dragging Hinata down with him. (and if it made it harder for the oranget to stuff his face with pork buns in the process, well, all the better, right?)
"Arigatou," He said, accepting the bun that was offered, absentmindedly smacking Hinata's hand as it tried to weasel another one out of the bag.
The team worked their way down the street, loosely grouped.
"That serve of Oikawa's was really something else. How are we gonna beat them if we can't even pick it up?"
Daichi grinned. "That won't be a problem much longer."
"Hm?" Kuroko questioned. Oikawa's serve had been the hardest out of all of Seijou- he'd only gotten a shot at it once, but it had left his arms red and burning.
Daichi turned a grin at him. "After all, he's coming back to the club soon."
Tanaka instantly grinned.
"Who?" Hinata asked, sticking a head around Tanaka's frame, pork bun still sticking out of his mouth. Daichi smirked, two crows cawing and flying away in the dusk light.
"The guardian deity of Karasuno."
Oikawa walked in, aiming a smile and a wave at his fangirls as he walked into the gym. They squealed in delight, sending a trickle of pride through him. He didn't see them squealing for Iwa-chan when he walked through the halls.
His thought process halted when he turned to their opponents.
They were facing Karasuno. That would've been enough to give him pause- it was where Tobio had gone, after all.
But that wasn't why he stopped- wasn't why he stared now.
They were all tense, forming tight groups (around certain people, it looked like. How was he supposed to take that? Where they hiding their girlfriends in the middle so he didn't steal them?)
"You're late!" Iwa-chan barked, throwing a volleyball at his head.
"Mou, so rude, Iwa-chan," He pouted, sending one last look towards the center of the groups. "Why are they all glaring at me?" He wondered. It was unnerving. Had he done something to tick them off lately?
"I don't know, but I don't really blame them," Iwa-chan deadpanned, walking away.
"Wha- so mean! Iwa-chan!"
Whew! So you guys weren't expecting that ;) Honestly, we weren't expecting that until I went to write this chapter (from scratch, because we threw whatever plan we had for the match out the window last chapter) and realized that Kuroko was gonna play no matter what. So, here he is!
Honestly, it was kinda fun brainstorming together and realizing that… like- oh okay Kuroko you do you. I'm also glad to tell you that in the new year we have found both an increase in muse and motivation, and will (hopefully) be pulling this through faster than previously thought.
Thanks SO MUCH to everyone who reviewed- CherepMikhailov, PersonofManyThings, RainyDayReader116, Yose Hyuann, TheSilverHunt3r, Natsuki D, Five Lanterns (You guys should totally check out their fics, we're besties now :3) Mrs. JeonJungkook88, AriehXIV, Azemex (We love you, you totally rock and you got quoted to the fam, you're awesome :) and Teal96ko!
Also lots of thanks to everyone who favorited and followed this story! Pretty sure we're close to 200 of y'all, so THANKS A TON!
Oh, and last thing, we were wondering if you guys would be interested in a Forum- we know we have a lot of people here who speak different languages and that it could be fun to have a place where you guys can talk in your native language about this story or even write your own snippets. Or we could write snippets, or just brainstorm, or put up funny things that Raph and I say while we brainstorm, or - idk whatever. I love the idea, so just wondering if there's any interest out there for that sort of thing.
(also because we're planning on having a lot more crossovers here soon and thought people would like a space to put up their own takes on stuff :)
