Trucking along to chapter 11 and congrats fans it's a double chapter! As always disclaimers and such can be found in chapter 1 and if you have any issues with my grammar I might go back and fix it someday but chances are probably not because I'm lazy as all hell but you're all such darling little sweet peas that we won't let that bother us will we?
Darkness – Chapter 11 – Slowly Taking Control
The afternoon found Harry sitting alone in his room milling over what had happened earlier in the day. He still couldn't quite seem to wrap his head around the fact that he and Severus had kissed. Even when Draco had been in the room before he had been making jokes about what had happened in an attempt to get a rise out of the ebony haired teen, but didn't it make it anymore real to him. He just couldn't imagine that the man would want to be tying himself down to a used and useless wizard like himself. Oddly enough up the stairs and down the hall Severus was having the same thoughts about the situation. He knew very well that he and Harry would be having a long conversation about what had happened but that didn't mean he was looking forward to it.
Finally sighing to himself, knowing that the longer he put it off the more awkward it would seem, he headed from his room and down to where Harry was currently located. Knocking quickly on the door he stepped into the room and found Harry curled up on the bed.
"Po-Harry, we should talk." Severus said simply and as soon as the words left his mouth he could see the young man visibly tense.
"It's all right sir, I understand, it was a mistake, it won't happen again." Harry blurted out quickly in a tone so flat that it even made Severus flinch as he watched the teen trying to put up a mask so similar to his own and it was then that Severus realized the extent of the damage that had been done. Seeing it also brought to light just how like him Harry actually was, not that the thought brought him any sort of comfort about the situation as he was well aware of the fact that the world did not need another him running around in it.
"Harry, no, that isn't what I meant we should talk about." The older man said quickly before taking a seat next to Harry on the bed, taking note that he hadn't really started the conversation in the best way. He quickly came to terms with the fact that his usual snarky potions master routine wouldn't help matters any and that if he truly wanted the help the young man then he would have to let him see the man that helped his Slytherins with problems like these and that he would also have to let him see the man that no one except Albus, Lucius and Draco saw. The blind man blinked a few times and cocked his head to the side in a move that reminded Severus of a confused dog for a moment, a fact that didn't really surprise him considering who the teen's godfather was, before he spoke again.
"It isn't? I would have thought that…" Harry trailed off at this not really wanting to voice what he had been thinking but considering that he was dealing with Severus he knew that the man wouldn't let well enough alone until he finished his sentence. "Thought that once you remembered how… how filthy I was you would… wouldn't want to be near me." He finally managed to get out after much pausing and stuttering. At this Severus looked at the Gryffindor in shock, an expression that he knew he wouldn't be allowing to surface if the other could actually see him.
"I could never think that." Severus said quickly with a tone so sure that Harry could feel the words resonating in his very soul, almost like someone was applying a balm to the damaged pieces there.
"I thought you hated me sir!" Harry followed up quickly, the confusion in his voice about the whole situation being painfully clear to the other man and he honestly couldn't blame him for it, he was for once as lost as his student, though he quickly pushed the thought away knowing that he couldn't think of Harry in a student capacity, at least not if he wanted to keep his own sanity intact.
"Severus. And I never hated you personally; I hated your fame, what your father did to an extent, and what you reminded me of." Severus said simply and as he did he couldn't help but notice that he felt a little lighter for finally saying it. "Your mother was one of my best friends, my first friend to be exact and seeing you use to remind me of losing her all over again." He explained, his voice becoming a bit rougher as he remembered his long dead friend.
"Why didn't you just tell me? Why did you let me think you hated me for so long?" Harry asked, his power level rising a bit with his stress level as he was trying to wrap his mind around what the other man was telling him. Severus was honestly at a loss, true it had made sense to let the young man think what he had wanted to when he was younger but Severus could have just a easily explained things to him when he had been old enough to realize the part that he was forced to play.
"I don't know, honestly. It was easy to play the part of the evil professor that seemed to loath your very existence when you were younger because I was still mourning the loss of your mother, and I allowed myself to get comfortable in the part I was supposed to play, but when you got older I should have explained everything to you but the memories you brought up involving your father and those other bloody Gryffindors made things raw all over again. Also you have a frightening knack for almost getting yourself killed and it's far easier keeping you safe when you don't realize I'm doing it." Severus huffed out, thinking back to the failed attempts at teaching Harry Occlumency in his 5th year making him a little sore at the young man all over again even though he was well aware of the fact that he had deserved what had happened.
"I do not! You think I want that psycho trying to kill me all the time?" The teen snapped out crossing his arms in front of him and wishing he knew which direction to best glare in.
"I didn't say you did now did I?" Severus hissed back. "I said you have a knack for it, not that you wanted it. Don't you think I am very well aware of the fact that you didn't ask for any of this now?" He asked moving so that he was now in front of Harry and gripping both of his shoulders, keeping note of the fact that the other's power level was still going up slightly.
"No you didn't… but…" Harry fumbled around looking for the right words but just couldn't seem to find them and the slightly hurt look on his face wasn't helping any.
"Harry, I am not a nice man despite what that barmy old man thinks, nor will I ever pretend to be. I will at times be hard to deal with but if you're really interested in this, in me, you will have to come to realize that and know that I will never intentionally hurt you." He said surprising the both of them when he ran a hand through Harry's hair. As the words ran through his mind Harry's power level slowly started to lower again to normal.
"I know, Pro… Severus, you've protected me all these years, if you hadn't cared at least to some degree I don't think even Dumbledore could have made you save me." Harry said with a small snicker at the thought of Albus and his lemon drops trying to bribe Severus to save him.
"Indeed." The older man added with a small scoff. "I cannot pretend to be more than I am and while I am a bastard at times I will never lie to you about it." He added. At this Harry nodded his head again.
"You're one of the few people in my life that never has." Harry murmured out which shocked Severus slightly but he knew that he shouldn't have been all that surprised. He too could tell when Albus was telling him half-truths and considering Harry's many dealings with the man he no doubt could as well, regardless of the fact that they were told for their own safety it still hurt on occasion to think that the old man might feel like they couldn't handle something.
"Albus." He said simply which earned another nod from the teen.
"I understand why he does it but that doesn't mean I have to like it." Harry huffed out which caused Severus to chuckle lowly as the statement mirrored his own thoughts on the matter.
"Indeed, I hope that the old coot will realize it's not needed someday." He said simply before he then cleared his throat and looked carefully at the teen for a moment before moving on to more pressing issues. "Now that wasn't the only thing, that mutt you call a godfather and his wolf will be here the day after tomorrow…" The small surge of power caused the man to trail off.
"Please try to avoid calling them that, I know you don't like them and I know I will find myself in the middle of some epic arguments, I'm not foolish enough to believe otherwise, but I don't think it will kill you to call them by their names." Harry growled out, his dull eyes seeming to darken even more in annoyance.
"Very well for your sake and my own, I will stick to Black and Lupin." Severus said stiffly. He couldn't say he was thrilled about the prospect of attempting to be civil but decided that if it would help the teen keep his powers in check and hopefully keep the manor in one piece than so be it.
"That's all I want." Harry said reaching out a hand searching for Severus' own. The older man realized when he was doing and took hold of Harry's hand. Harry then tried to raise it and Severus knew what it was he wanted before bringing it up to his face, he'd done it with his grandmother so many times that he had almost done it without thinking.
Fingertips trailed lightly over Severus' cheekbone before leaving was felt like a trail of fire down the side of his face to his jaw. They then ghosted over his lips and crept up along the bridge of his nose before making their way up to trace along his brow. A deep and somewhat content sounding sigh escaped the older man at the treatment causing Harry to smirk just a bit before he leaned forward and followed his hand to the man's face and planted a kiss firmly on his lips. The potions master went wide eyed for a moment still trying to convince himself that this was indeed real before his eyes slipped closed and he deepened the kiss. The two fell back onto the bed, Severus covering the still recovering form below him but that was a thought that didn't cross his mind until he touched Harry's side causing the young man to whimper and slowly start to curl into himself.
"Please…" He whispered out lowly. At this Severus looked at him with shock and guilt clearly written on his face, despite Harry's inability to see it, and mentally cursed himself for allowing his libido to dictate his actions.
"I'm so sorry, I…" He was cut off as Harry quickly batted his hands away for a moment and scooted up a little higher on the bed.
"Just… just don't…" He mumbled out before reaching for the older man's hand again and gripping it tightly. "I don't think I can…" He trailed off not sure how to finish that sentence. He clearly enjoyed kissing Severus but the thought of someone, even the man he was slowly coming to realize he loved, touching him like that; it made him want to crawl out of his own skin and run screaming into the night.
"I understand, I do, no need to say it. Know this now, and I will say it as often as you need it to be said, you have the control here." Severus said touching Harry's cheek lightly. It caused the younger man to jump at first but as he realized the truth in the words he slowly leaned into the touch and sighed softly.
"Thank you, and not just for this, thank you for everything." Harry said in a small voice before bringing up the hand that he held and resting his forehead against it. Severus wanted to tell Harry that he had nothing to thank him for but the expression of gratitude and relief, no doubt at finally having been able to say that, on Harry's face was enough to make the words stick in this throat.
The two stayed like that for a long while and Severus didn't leave the room until he was sure that Harry was soundly asleep. Before leaving the room he quickly cast a monitoring charm on the room to alert him if Harry's power level started to increase, he didn't want to have to fix the room every time the young man took a nap. He knew it was beyond Harry's control but fixing the walls and windows was slightly draining and he made a mental note to ask Albus what spells were on the castle windows to make them right themselves when they were broken. He was still musing to himself about the coming mutt invasion and what sort of strain it would put on whatever it was that he and Harry had started when he reached the study. Glancing in the room he found both Lucius and Draco obviously waiting for him to arrive. Stepping into the room he glanced at the two men before taking a seat across from them. Draco had a serious expression on his face while Lucius merely looked thoughtful. Raising a brow at the two men he said nothing and just waited for them to speak.
"You know if you hurt him I'll kill you right?" Draco asked evenly and with such an innocent tone that it floored both the men in the room. Lucius looked at his son with something akin to shock on his face not really having realized to depth of caring that he had for Harry.
"While the statement surprises me to an extent the fact that you said it surprises me even more." He said simply. "I never thought I would see the day when you were looking out for Harry Potter. Tell me Draco if you were that concerned for him why didn't you simply tell him to stay away from me? You know he runs the risk of being hurt whether I would actually try to hurt him or not." Severus said with a look of self-loathing ghosting across his features at the thought, Draco had missed it but Lucius knew him well enough to catch it.
"Severus enough. You care for Potter, and you said it yourself you would never hurt him on purpose so let it go. I'm sure Potter knows as well as you do the chances that he is taking by wanting to be close to you. And if he wasn't before I'm sure you've warned him." Lucius said with a roll of his eyes. Severus looked at the blond for a moment wondering if he had been listening in on the conversation that he had just had with Harry but he was sure that the teen would have mentioned someone listening in to the conversation if he had picked up on their energy.
"Be that as it may it doesn't lessen the risk any and it does little to reassure me that this is in anyway a good idea, though I've no doubt that it is what that barmy old man had been hoping would happen when he sent Harry here for the holiday." Severus growled out not noticing the amused expressions that Lucius and Draco exchanged at Severus' slip of the tongue.
"Harry now is it?" Draco asked with a small smirk. Severus merely rolled his eyes at this before the conversation turned to less serious matters.
"You will lose everything…" Voldemort said with a hissing laugh as he learned over Harry, eying the teen carefully.
Harry shuddered at the gaze but he was determined not to glance over at Severus' prone form that was lying only feet away from where he was being pinned down by Death Eaters, he hadn't a clue if Voldemort knew about the two of them and he'd be damned if he would give away that information.
"What the fuck are you hoping to accomplish Tom?" Harry hissed out at him with an annoyed look on his face, taking great joy in the fact that Voldemort hissed in anger at the use of his muggle name.
"To turn you of course, a Rage would be a very powerful tool to have at my disposal." The snake faced man said with a twisted grin. Harry's eyes widened at this trying to figure out how on earth the maniac had found out about that.
"Severus was rather informative." He said with a hissing laugh before motioning to one of the Death Eaters. Harry couldn't tell which one it was but the man kicked Severus roughly causing him to roll and Harry finally saw his face and it was a bloody mess, Harry realized that he couldn't see an inch of skin that wasn't either bloody or bruised and he could quickly feel his anger rising.
In the dining room a small alarm went off alerting Severus to the slowly climbing power level and he jumped up quickly from his meal and took off in the direction of Harry's room with both Malfoys hot on his heels. Having learned their lesson the last time, as they got closer to the room the two hung back and allowed Severus to head into the room himself for a moment. As he entered his quickly noticed two things, the first was that Harry's body was slightly raised off the bed and the second was that the young man was screaming in what he assumed to be Parseltongue if the fact that his own pet snake, Alexandria, was in the room hissing up a storm. Reaching out slowly he gently gripped Harry's arm pulling the young man to himself.
"Harry, Harry, please, wake up Harry." Severus whispered out softly into the teen's ear hoping that the same trick would work again. He could feel Harry's body tense in his arms and the energy in the room seemed to spike for a moment before it slowly started to lower once more. Glancing down he realized that Harry's eyes were now open but he didn't have much time to study the younger man before he launched himself at him, climbing into his lap and wrapping himself around him.
"They knew Severus, they knew you were a spy, they tortured you for information… you looked so defeated." Harry panted out obviously still trying to banish the nightmare from his mind. Severus merely looked at the teen before brushing his hair back with his free hand.
"Harry, the Dark Lord does suspect that someone in the ranks is a spy, he does not know it's me though, I am safe for the time being and so are you. These nightmares, whatever is causing them, I think it is tied to your slowly awakening power and not actually the Dark Lord himself." Severus murmured out, it had been a theory he'd been mulling over and he hadn't really been ready to share it yet but it was obvious that Harry needed to hear something and it was really all Severus had to tell him at the moment.
"Riddle." Harry spat. "He's no Lord, he's a crazy ass muggle-born on a power trip." He bit out quickly causing all three men to look at him in surprise. Not many people remembered that little fact about Voldemort and none of them could remember telling Harry about it.
"Har, how did you know?" Draco asked what they were all thinking.
"He told me himself when I faced off against the diary horcrux in the Chamber of Secrets." Harry supplied with a shrug of his shoulders. The three merely nodded while Lucius looked slightly guilty, as though he could sense it Harry sighed. "I don't blame you for that just so you know. Draco told me that Narcissa had tortured you for quite a bit until you finally agreed to do Riddle's bidding and that it wasn't even until after she had threatened to Crucio Draco that you finally gave in." Harry said with a small smile trying to show that he really didn't blame the man. "I'll admit that I was a little skeptical until Dobby finally confirmed what Dray had told me about everything that had happened. And then the more I thought about it I realized that you had to have noticed the sock I slipped into the diary when I handed it back to you that day. You gave it to Dobby on purpose didn't you?" Harry wondered aloud at something he had been rather curious about.
"I might have taken note of a not so well hidden article of clothing." Lucius said simply with an amused tone in his voice. Draco merely rolled his eyes at his father's roundabout way of answering the question and a small snort escaped him.
"That would be a yes." It was then that something dawned on Draco, something that he was surprised he hadn't taken note of before. "You were the reason that Dobby went to warn Harry weren't you father?" He asked glancing at the elder Malfoy in surprise. The question also caused a look of surprise to appear on Harry's face as well.
"I'm surprised it took you this long to piece it together Draco, you're usually such a clever boy." Lucius said simply with a small smirk on his face as he looked at his son who was now gaping at him like a fish.
"Thank you Mister Malfoy. If Dobby hadn't been trying to warn me about what was happening I don't think I really would have survived 2nd year." Harry said seriously with a look of gratitude plastered on his face.
"Lucius please, Mister Malfoy makes me feel so old." The blond man said with a shudder at the thought of actually being old. "Think nothing of it, once I realized what the diary actually did I couldn't very well just sit back and do nothing, Draco would have been in just as much danger as all the other muggle-borns and half-bloods. People have forgotten over time that down our family line there were a number of half-bloods." Lucius said simply and the information was clearly a surprise to Draco if the slightly strangled noise the blond was now making was anything to go by. "I'm guessing there are a few things I need to tell you now. Come along Draco." Lucius said simply before grabbing his son by the arm and dragging him for the room.
Harry merely giggled as he could clearly hear Draco yelling out questions as Lucius drug him down the hall. He then realized that he was still sitting in Severus' lap but he also found that he really had no desire to move anytime soon. It was then that he noticed the hissing sound in the room. He raised a brow and turned his head slightly so that Severus could clearly see it.
"Why didn't you tell me you had a pet snake?" Harry mumbled out as he could sense the snake moving closer to the two of them.
"Her name is Alexandria; she was a gift to me from my mother before… before she died." Severus said. Harry had noticed the pause but from the way the older man had tensed he could tell that now was not the time to be asking questions about the mysterious woman who had birthed him though he recalled that Severus had said the woman had committed suicide before he had gotten his letter but something about that didn't seem right, the timing was all wrong. "She is an Inland Taipan." He added as an afterthought. Harry's blank eyes widened a bit at this information and he couldn't help but find himself a bit alarmed.
"Severus, those are the most deadly breed of snake known in the muggle world." He muttered out quickly.
"Indeed." Severus said both surprised and not that Harry would be aware of that little bit of information. "She has also been my best friend for a number of years." The older man said with a hint of affection in his voice as the snake rubbed her head along his hand.
"A pleassure to meeet you Alllexannndriaaa." Harry hissed out to the snake. Severus could tell that whatever the young man had said had surprised the snake as she reared up and moved her head closer to Harry.
"You aaare a ssspeaker." The snake hissed out as she tasted the air around the young Gryffindor. "You aaare alssso very powerful." She continued on, it was then that she tasted something off. "Yet you cannot sssee meee." The snake mused to Harry before she noticed his out stretched hand. She tasted the air around the offered hand for a moment before rubbing her head along it. "You are veery important to my massster,I ssshall look afffter you young sssnake, I will be eyesss for you until you haaave your own aaagain." She hissed out in a tone that made Harry realize that he really didn't have a say in the matter.
"Thhank you, your massster is very important to me assss well." Harry said with a blush creeping its way to his cheeks again.
Severus watched the exchange between the two with a look of awe, pride and longing all rolled into one. He was pleased at the fact that his familiar seemed to be as taken with Harry as the teen was with her, he also found himself marveling at how different the Parseltongue language sounded coming from someone who wasn't insane and he himself longed to be able to converse with his familiar in the way that Harry himself was at that moment. When he noticed the blush on the teen's face though, he nudged the younger man slightly.
"Alexandria tells me that I'm important to you and that because I am she will look after me." Harry said as his cheeks darkened a bit more.
"Leave it to my familiar to give away my secrets." Severus said with a small scoff as he ran a finger gently over the large snake's head. Harry smirked a little before his expression turned slightly serious again.
"She also said that she will be my eyes until I have my own again." He said suddenly causing Severus to look at both the snake and the young man in surprise.
"Did she explain what she meant?" Severus asked quickly. At the question though, Harry shook his head in the negative.
"She didn't but I can only assume that she picked up on something from me, maybe this really is only temporary, I mean isn't possible that whoever Riddle used to make the potion, since it wasn't you, could have botched it?" Harry asked quickly, doing his best to keep the slightly hopeful tone out of his voice. Severus mulled over the question for a good bit before answering finally.
"There is always possibilities, but I will not know for sure until I study the item that we retrieved from your muggle relative's home." At the mention of the muggles Harry paled slightly.
"You never told me what happened when you went there, what you did to them." Harry said softly.
"And the information will die with me one day." Severus said simply. Harry opened his mouth to protest but he was quickly cut off. "As I told you before they are not worth it." He said simply before finally sliding Harry from his lap and standing up once more. Harry merely sighed again knowing that Severus wouldn't give him the information that he wanted, at least not yet anyway.
He was pulled from his thoughts when he felt warm lips press against his forehead and he leaned into the gesture seemingly on auto pilot, not that he was complaining mind you. He listened for a long moment as Severus left the room and continued to sit there mulling over his own thoughts until he sensed the man return. He then felt a vial placed into his hands and didn't even have to guess to know what it was.
"Dreamless Sleep?" He asked wiggling the vial slightly.
"Indeed, you need rest and these nightmares are robbing you of that. We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow." Severus said simply. Harry merely nodded his head before downing the potion and allowing Severus to help him lay back down.
"Thank you again." Harry murmured out before his eyes drifted shut as the potion quickly took effect. Severus said nothing and merely watched the young man sleep for a moment before he noticed Alexandria curling up at the foot of the teen's bed, her black eyes obviously watching over the young man. Satisfied at the situation, at least for the time being, Severus turned and left the room to get some much needed sleep himself.
When Harry woke the next morning he sighed deeply as he stretched and took note of the fact that he felt more rested than he had in a long time and silently thanked Severus once more, at least until his stomach growled at him. It only took a moment to recall not really eating anything the day before. He slowly sat up and placed his feet on the floor before he realized he had no way of finding the kitchen on his own.
"You are hungry young sssnake. Come,I will lead you." A voice suddenly spoke to him. He hadn't sensed anyone in the room so the sudden voice caused him to jump slightly until he realized that Alexandria was in the room with him. Nodding his head he listened to the snakes instructions and managed to make it to the kitchens where he was met with a gleeful squeal.
"Master Harry Potter is up and about, Dobby is most happy to see his friend!" He heard the house elf yell out. Harry smiled at the obvious joy of the house elf and nodded his head.
"It is good to see… er… well it is good to know you're here Dobby, does Dumbledore know?" He asked curious as to how the house elf made his way to Snape Manor.
"The Headmaster is the one who sent Dobby to be helping Harry Potter. Says that Dobby is the best house elf to be helping his friend." The little creature said and as he spoke Harry could clearly picture the house elf beaming with pride. Harry could hear a hissing laugh coming from the left of him.
"The little crrreature isss quite taaaken with yooou." Harry merely nodded his head, making note to explain Dobby's attachment to him to the snake at some point during his stay.
"Do you think I might be able to get some breakfast Dobby?" At the question Harry found himself quickly being sat by Dobby and it was only a moment later that his nose was assaulted by the smell of eggs and bacon. He smiled his thanks before tucking into the hearty meal that was provided for him.
Sadly, thanks to his stomach still trying to get used to having real food again, even after all the meals at Hogwarts, he was only able to eat about half of what was given to him but he was thankful nonetheless and told the house elf as much earning him another speech about how kind he was from Dobby.
"If Master Harry Potter be needing anything else you just call for Dobby." The little elf said quickly as he helped Harry back to his feet and guided him to the room that Severus had instructed that he take Harry after the young man had woken.
"Dobby please, just Harry will be fine." The young wizard said and he didn't have to see to be able to hear the joy and tears in the elf voice as he spoke again.
"Master Harry is to kind to Dobby, to kind, such a friend." The little elf gushed once more before disappearing out of the room much to the delight of Alexandria if the annoyed hisses that the snake had been giving about her being able to lead Harry just fine were anything to go by.
"I see your little friend is rather excited to see you." Severus said with an amused tone in his voice. "Albus sent him as it seems his concern for you was causing a commotion among the other elves in the castle." He explained.
"I can't say I'm all that surprised. He really is one of a kind." Harry said with a small laugh as he listened to Alexandria direct him to an empty chair across from Severus. Once he was seated Severus leaned forward and took hold of one of his hands. Harry cocked his head to the side again with a curious expression on his face.
"I want to focus on that little trick of yours, since you can't see perhaps we can find a way for you to use focusing on someone's magical energy as a way to pin point where to cast your spells." Severus said simply. Harry nodded slowly at this knowing that the idea made sense but worrying about actually casting a spell at someone when he honestly had no idea how much the surges of power he had been having had effected him.
"I can't argue the logic, but I don't like the idea of sending spells in your direction when I don't know what the hell the outcome will be." He said quickly, tightening his hold on Severus' hand a bit at he spoke.
"I don't really see any other options at this point, while I'm hoping that this blindness is just temporary you must be ready to fight should the need arise." Severus explained quickly. Nodding mutely Harry simply leaned back in his seat with a sigh.
"Then I guess there really isn't any point in arguing with you about as you've clearly made up your mind about the matter." He said with a huff. Severus let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he had expected Harry to give much more of a fight over the course of action that he had wanted to take. Wanting to begin as soon as possible Severus leaned back in his own seat before he ran through his own thoughts for a moment.
"I want you to focus your thoughts on Draco, you know he is somewhere here in the manor, I want you to seek out his energy with your own." Severus said simply, watching as Harry closed his vacant eyes and appeared to be trying to do as he had asked.
Harry could feel his own magic stretching out around the room, but the harder he thought about it and tried to expand it beyond the room the more it seemed to shrink back in on itself. He continued on for a number of minutes before letting out a frustrated sigh.
"It's not working. I honestly don't know if I can control it, it always seems like more of a knee jerk reaction when it happens." Harry grumbled out causing Severus to sigh as well.
"We've only just started and you're already trying to quit." He growled out in annoyance. Harry scowled at the tone from the man and crossed his arms in front of him. "If you're going to half ass this like you did the Occlumency then there is no point to it."
"I didn't half ass anything! I was fifteen and scared out of my damn mind and no one would tell me what the hell was going on!" Harry snapped out, his power slowly starting to make the book shelves in the room groan. "Maybe if you had tried talking to me about it, maybe even had taken the time to explain it to me properly instead of going on about how much you loathed my father I would have been able to learn it then!" The young man hissed out.
Severus could clearly hear the shelves starting to splinter slightly when suddenly everything stopped and he noticed that Harry had a surprised expression on his face.
"Draco is in the kitchen." He said suddenly causing Severus to look a bit surprised which in turn caused Alexandria to inform Harry of this which then caused the teen to giggle. "Apparently surprise is rather becoming on you Severus." He snickered, all anger at what the man had said seeming to have vanished.
"It seems that what we need to do first is find a way for you to harness that power of yours." Severus mused simply mentally berating himself for not drawing that conclusion sooner.
"I don't know where I would even start with that. It only ever seems to come out when I'm angry and I don't fancy being pissed off all the time, especially since a lot of it seems to revolve around you." The teen muttered out softly.
"I may be the cause for much of your anger but your power does not seem to want to harm me, in fact when you had the first nightmare here your power threw both Malfoys against the wall and yet it allowed me to get to you, in fact it even felt as if it were trying to protect me." Severus explained finally filling Harry in on what he hadn't been aware of before.
"That's why you're willing to allow me to use you as target practice." Harry said with surprise clear in his voice.
"Indeed." The older man said simply. "Try focusing on the nightmares Harry, think back to the anger you felt at the Dar… Riddle over what had happened in them, think about the way you felt the magic building up in you." Severus explained. As he spoke Harry allowed his eyes to close again and focused as Severus had instructed.
Slowly but surely he could feel his anger towards Voldemort rising and like in his dreams he could feel the power welling up in him as well. Keeping hold of it as best he could he tried to force it out and around himself. Across from him Severus could feel the power radiating from the younger man and was astounded by it.
"Draco is in the kitchen, now he's moving down the hall. Lucius is one… no two floors up from us and he's… pacing?" Harry stated curiously.
"Excellent and the pacing isn't all that surprising as before you woke this morning Draco finally told Lucius about himself and the Weasley boy." Severus muttered out which caused Harry to open his eyes in surprise and as soon as he did he felt completely drained.
"I thought he had told him that already." Harry stated in surprised.
"It would seem not." Severus said simply as he noted the energy level in the room going back down. "Let's try it again shall we?" At the question Harry shook his head.
"I think that took more out of me than I thought it would." Harry said before a yawn escaped from him. Rather than running the risk of upsetting the young man again Severus allowed him to relax and the two chatted until Dobby appeared to inform them that lunch was ready.
The rest of the day passed more or less in the same manner, Severus having Draco and Lucius move to various rooms throughout the evening and trying to help Harry focus long enough to locate them and by the time Severus led Harry back to his room it was more than clear that the young man was dead on his feet. Due to the obvious draining effect of controlling his emotions and the trying to harness the amount of power coming from himself, Harry had used up almost all of the Pepper-Up supply that Severus had in his home and that was saying something.
"Do you think it will get easier?" Harry asked with a sigh as he was finally situated in the bed. He didn't know how long he could keep up with the draining effect the new power seemed to have on him.
"I would imagine that like any magical skill that the more you work at it and practice the better you will become." Severus said simply not really knowing what else he could honestly say, it becoming very clear to him that he had something else to ask Albus about when he next spoke with the man.
Bidding Harry goodnight Severus headed to his own rooms, crashing almost as soon as he hit his bed, the stress of trying to keep Harry balanced throughout the day finally catching up with him as well.
The next morning found the two of them back at it again and though he still found it draining as all hell, Harry didn't seem to have as much trouble tapping into the anger and allowing the new power in him to flow. Watching him Severus was starting to develop a theory about the new power but until he had more to go on he didn't think it wise to bring up the matter. The two were having lunch in the library, having just completed another training session when Harry suddenly quirked a brow at the man.
"You loved my mother didn't you?" He asked suddenly, the question flooring Severus slightly as it had seemingly come from no where, as the two hadn't even spoke of Lily since Severus had informed Harry that the two of them had been friends.
"I did, but not in the way I assume you're thinking." Severus started. "As I said your mother was the first real friend that I had and even as we got older and I made the biggest mistakes of my life she still tried her hardest to keep those lines of friendship open to me despite the efforts of Black to change that." He went on to say. Harry looked puzzled at this so Severus continued. "Black was always under the impression that I was attempting to steal Lily away from James, despite Lily's best efforts to explain otherwise without coming right out and informing them that I was gay." Severus said with a snort. "I could have only imagined the ridicule I would have gotten from them had that little bit of information gotten out back then." He muttered darkly.
"Is that why… is that what caused the whole Shrieking Shack thing?" Harry asked; worried that bringing up the topic would cause Severus to snap at him, he was surprised though when the exact opposite happened.
"I believe it was as in the end your father apologized to me for the whole thing, though this was after Lily gave him hell about it, though I didn't escape her wrath either as she was rather perturbed that she had to find out what had happened from Lupin." Severus said with a chuckle at the memory of Lily practically breathing fire when she accused him of trying to hide things from her. "Your mother was one of the few people to ever stand up for me, she stood up for everyone that she could and I see a lot of that in you, though of course I also see a bit of your father as well, but there is of course the things are that just Harry." Severus said seeming to be musing more to himself than anything else but his thoughts were cut off when Harry's lip were suddenly on his own again for a moment before they were gone again. "Something I said?"
"You're the first person who had known my parents that sees me for me." Harry whispered out with both happiness and sadness in his voice. "Even Sirius doesn't seem to see me beyond dad." Harry grumbled out before flopping back in his seat again. "In the Department of Mysteries when, we almost lost him, while fighting the Death Eaters there he called me James." He said looking rather put out.
"Harry, you know for a fact that I am the last person who would ever defend Black but I could see how he could make the mistake." Severus said simply. "All the time in Azkaban so soon after your parents were murdered, Black no doubt never got the chance to grieve for them properly and then to finally get back in touch with you and find you looking so much like James, especially when you're dueling, you get the same look about you, the same look of serious concentration, it was no wonder that in the heat of battle that he would see the friend he lost in you. That and it doesn't help that Azkaban can addle ones brain quite a bit, isn't that right Black?" Severus asked glancing towards the door to see a stunned looking Sirius and thoughtful looking Remus.
"Sna… Severus, could I have a moment with Harry." Sirius mumbled out surprising everyone in the room by using the other man's first name. Severus merely nodded his head before standing.
"I'll be just out in the hallway." He whispered quickly to Harry before heading out of the room and into the hall with Remus.
As he leaned against the wall he noticed that Remus was looking at him with an annoying twinkle in his eyes that would rival the maddening one that belong to Albus. He scowled at the other man for a long moment but said nothing.
"Thank you Severus." The werewolf said with a warm smile on his face though the smile was merely because he had been able to smell the attraction in the room. He knew since the day it had been decided that Harry would spend his holiday with Severus that something was wrong, something hadn't been right with Harry though the teen would not tell them what. On more than one occasion Remus had picked up on the scent of pain and agony from the teen but he couldn't find the right words to ask about it.
"I didn't do it for you." Severus finally snapped out after a long moment. "I did it for Lily and Harry." He added as the glare slowly started to lessen. In truth Severus really no longer had any issues with Remus; it was Sirius that continued to be the bane of his existence. Silence returned between the two of them as Severus turned his attention back to monitoring Harry's energy level.
"I am so sorry Harry." Sirius said quickly as he moved to occupy the chair that Severus had been in. "I never meant to make you feel like I only saw you as a substitute for your parents." He said trailing off as he tried to gage Harry's reaction to what he was saying. Surprisingly the teen nodded his head slowly. "To have Snape point out my shortcomings and actually being right is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow." Sirius huffed out which caused Harry to chuckle slightly at the man.
"I'm glad he did though." Harry murmured out. "It hurt when you called me James, but I couldn't find the words to tell you just how much so Severus actually did us both a favor." He mused. The fact that he had used the man's first name was not lost on Sirius but he merely assumed it was because the two were obviously getting along. The fact didn't exactly thrill Sirius but Harry seemed to actually be doing much better.
"I can't believe I'm saying this but you're right, he did." Sirius finally admitted hoping to Merlin that Severus wasn't actually listening to the conversation that was taking place.
"Did you really think that he was trying to steal mum away from dad?" Harry asked suddenly the question having been on his mind as it had been the topic of conversation before Sirius and Remus had arrived. The question actually surprised Sirius quite as bit as it hadn't been something he had thought about for a long time.
"I did." He said simply. "I didn't really know Snape back then, not that I know him any better now, and Lily never really told us much about him. All I saw was a Slytherin being very chummy with your dad's girl and couldn't help but draw my own conclusions and the rumors about his father being a Death Eater didn't exactly help my opinion either." Sirius explained, thinking on the subject more than he ever really had before.
"So baseless conclusions and rumors were enough to condemn him?" Harry asked with a tone of disbelief in his voice and his power level starting to increase slightly.
"I was young Harry." Sirius said with a shrug of his shoulders trying to figure out why Harry was so upset about it all in the first place.
"And yet you still despise him even after all this time." Harry grumbled out. "Do you know what sorts of hatred and distrust that kind of thinking breeds?" He hissed out suddenly, his expression darkening. "Do you have any idea what it's like for people to loathe you just because of what they assume they know?" The teen yelled out suddenly as his power started to climb faster, as memories of all the times other students at Hogwarts had shunned him thinking him to possibly be a dark wizard and the sudden spike caused Severus to dart back into the room.
"Harry!" His voice boomed suddenly. Lost in his anger over Sirius' juvenile way of thinking Harry barely registered his name being yelled as the book shelves started to creak and groan once again causing Remus, who had followed Severus into the room to look at Sirius with a sort of cross look.
"Sirius what did you say to him?" He asked quickly concerned for both his mate and cub.
"I don't know! One minute he was asking me about why I thought Snape was trying to steal Lily from James and the next minute he's like that!" Sirius said looking worriedly at his godson and seeming as a loss as to what to do for him once again. The two men watched though as Severus quickly moved in front of Harry taking hold of the younger man's face gently.
"Get your hands off him Snape!" Sirius barked out quickly. He jumped up from the chair he'd been sitting in and grabbed Severus by the back of the collar and tried to pull him away from Harry and he quickly found himself being thrown back by a surge of energy. He'd at first assumed that Severus had hexed him until he noticed the dark expression on Harry's face.
"Touch him again Sirius and we'll see just what this new power of mine can really do." Harry growled out lowly.
End Chapter 11.
