Naruto crounched down and put his elbows on his knees.

The translocation had been a rough one. He was very glad that he hadn't stopped by his favorite ramen for lunch. His stomach felt as if it were doing a full round of calesthenics

Looking up slowly, he saw the familiar surroundings of Mount Myoboku. Large hills. Massive plants. A warm and moist afternoon haze. No doubt a familiar amphibian face or two would hopping in to say hello and escort him to the person who summoned him here.

Sure enough, Gamakichi arrived, landing with an earth-shattering 'thud.' He had grown a great deal more. "Yo!" The huge voice echoed. "Naruto bro! How goes it!"

There was a second thud. Another one of Gamabunta's sons had noticed Naruto's presence. "Naruto! Did you bring snacks." That was Gamatatsu, of course. "Munchies rule!"

"Not as much as girls, right Naruto?" Gamakichi wore a big lopsided smile. "Are you here to get the birds and the bees talk?" The large toad chuckled. It sounded like a diesel truck idling. "Be careful. After I heard that talk, I dated a wood pecker for a whole year!" He laughed at his joke. "Get it. A woodpecker is a bird. Birds and bees." He frowned. "Geez."

"Birds and bees?'' Gamatatsu hunkered down to be closer to face level with Naruto. He knew his brother would skirt any question he asked. "What do birds and bees have to do with girls?"

"Uh-" Naruto scratched his head. There was no way he was going to repeat the lecture that the shinobi had been given in Health class. Especially since it had been far more frank than the old adage about avians and apians.

"Birds do it... bees do it..." Gamakichi said. "Even educated fleas do it." He turned a large eye towards Naruto. "And soon even he will do it!"

"It?" Gamatatsu was hopping in place. He had as much of an issue with curiosity as he did with hunger. "What is it?" He looked from Naruto to his brother and back again. "Who's going to do it?"

"That-" Naruto felt like creating a large group of clones and having them kick Gamakichi's big toad butt!

WHOMPPPPPP-PPPPP-PPPP-PPP-PP-P

A number of small trees were splintered when an enormous form hit the ground. Huge nut and fruit clusters fell, raining down on Naruto's head. Gamatatsu's tongue flashed out again and again, catching anything edible he could reach.

"YOU SHOULD NOT TALK GOOD OR BAD ABOUT THINGS THAT DON'T CONCERN YOU!"

Gamabunta's voice boomed an old gangster quote. He hadn't caught the words, but recognized the look on the face of his elder son.

"I know nothing, I didn't see anything, I wasn't here," Gamakichi replied quickly, returning like for like in mobster-speak." "And if I was here, I was asleep." He turned to his friend. "Right, Naruto."

"YOUNG TURK!"

Gamabunta loved his children. But, he was not one to take lip from anyone, not even in jest.

"You shouldn't call Naruto that, Pop. He's going to be a made man." Gamakichi had somehow gotten a VCR player and a number of American and Sicilian mafia movies from the real world. If he had to hear his father spout gang-like sayings in Hiroshima dialect, he might as well find something fun to watch in a similar spirit. A made man, also known as a wiseguy, goodfella, man of honor, or Mafioso, is someone who has been officially inducted into the Sicilian or American Mafia. "He's going to be making it real soon!" He knew that would piss his old man off something fierce.

"ONE FATHER IS ENOUGH TO GOVERN ONE HUNDRED SONS!"

Gamabunta's claim sent startled animals running off in all directions. Naruto fought the urge to look up and see if thunderclouds had gathered.

"BUT A HUNDRED SONS CANNOT GOVERN ONE FATHER!"

Naruto was a born peacemaker. He held both hands up and spoke to the Chief of the Toads. "Hey! Oyabun! Remember, Gamakichi is a real smart aleck, but he's a good kid." He didn't think that Gamabunta would do anything to his son, but wanted to play things safe. He remembered a saying he had heard, but couldn't place the source. "By the time a man realizes that his father is right, he usually has a son of his own."

There was a long heavy pause, before anyone spoke again. When the Chief Toad spoke, there was a hint of humor in his voice, and a sense of great affection and respect for the yellow-haired shinobi.

"HO HO HOOOO-OOO-OO-O. THAT IS VERY TRUE INDEED. SO IT WAS FOR ME, AND SO IT WILL BE FOR MINE."

The great toad took out a pipe, packed it with leaf, and lit it. He blew a smoke ring big enough to drive an eighteen-wheeler through.

"NARUTO, YOU HAVE GROWN SINCE THE DAY YOU WERE A LITTLE SNOT DANCING ON MY HEAD."

He referred back to the first time the boy had called him forth.

A sense of peace filled the small valley. Animals began creeping back towards their nests and hidey-holes. But, the storm hadn't blown past. They were merely standing in the eye.

"Hey! Dad!" Gamatatsu tugged at his father's legs. "Are you going to tell me about birds and bees, too? What is it? I want to know what it is! Who does it! How do you make it!"

"NANI? NAAA-AA-ANI! IS THIS WHAT YOU BRATS HAVE BEEN BABBLING ABOUT?"

Gamabunta's cheeks expanded. He fired out a huge ball of compressed air. The massive missile tore through trees like a bowling ball busting through ten-pins. Gamakichi and Gamabunta went tumbling. The blast had been strategically placed to skirt Naruto, causing his hair to move but nothing else.

Trusting that his sons were none the worse for wear, the Chief of the Myoboku Toads informed Naruto that Fukasaku and Shima wanted to speak with him. The Great Toad Sage had told them that he had been gifted with another Prophecy. After Naruto lept upn his head, he took a giant leap and sprung towards their destination.

Just as they landed, another Toad walked into the clearing. It was Gamariki, who looked to be the amphibian equivalent of a drag queen. The light green Toad with purple eyes and violet skin patterns wore a large bow on his back and sported makeup that included red lipstick, pink blush on his cheeks, and eyeliner.

"And what is this disreputable young human doing here?" Gamariki had a mutual dislike of Naruto. That friction stemmed from a time when Jiraiya had summoned the toad to help Naruto recognize and disperse Genjutsu. The toad had used a Genjutsu Kiss on him, sending him into a world of illusions. When Naruto attempted to release the genjutsu, he unintentionally released chakra much in the same manner as his Rasengan That reaction tossed the unsuspecting Gamariki into a canal, knocking him out cold. "Has he come to learn more illusions, so he can make it look like he isn't here?" He made a sniffing noise. "That certainly would be a blessing."

"BAH! OF COURSE NOT! HE IS NOT THE TRUE EYESORE HERE!"

Gamabunta didn't get along well with Gamariki, either. The effeminate toad looked too much like a frog for his liking, and was not one to drink from the cup of fellowship or swear honorable pacts.

"THERE WAS AN OVERSIGHT. A WOMAN'S NAME WAS LEFT OFF OF THE WHEEL."

"I can guess where your crass jest is heading," Gamatiki said. He was very proud of his appearance. It wasn't the first time that someone had made a joke at his expense. "And I can guess where that wretch is heading. I won't hold the two of you up any longer. The sooner he is gone from here, the better."

Gamabunta waited with Naruto until the two toad elders strode from their home. He then left in the company of Gamaken and Gamahiro. There was drinking to do in the tavern that Ken ran. Naruto could only wonder how much liquid the mugs held.

"You're looking well, Naruto." Shima hopped over and gave him a kiss. "Are you hungry. I can rustle up some grub for you." When she said grub, she meant grubs. She paid no heed to the way that the boy put his hand over his mouth, turning green in the face.

"N-... No... No thank you," Naruto said politely.

"Have you continued with your Senjutsu training as I suggested," Fukasaku asked. He wondered if the young ninja had come up with another interesting jutsu. He had no doubt that the boy would surpass Jiraiya and Minato in time. In some ways, he already had.

"Yes, Sensei." Naruto clasped his hands and bowed respectfully. He was not about to tell the Toad sages that Natural Energy could help him create a real whopper of a naughty jutsu.

"Nothing off color, I trust." The sage may be old, but his mind was sharper than a samurai sword.

Naruto chose not to reply. The sweat drop on the side of his face said it all. The two elders pretended not to notice. After all, they had loved the Frog Hermit deeply, and that man had fulfilled the prophecy of being 'a talented ninja and a pervert without equal.'

"It seems that one of Jiraiya's pupils has the power to save or destroy the world again," Shima said. With Nagato dead, Narito was Ero-Sennin's only remaining student.

"But," Fukasaku said with his usual cheerful expression. "There is no mention of the coming events in any book that we could find." For the previous prophecy, hints of the future had been written in The Tale of the Totally Gutsu Shinobi, penned by the Sannin. Naruto had been named for the hero in that tale. "But... if there is a book written after the fact... you can be the one who writes it..." He didn't mean a literal book. Naruto knew that. The elder toad was talking about the opportunity to script an entire world. "I hope it has a happier ending." Things with Nagato and Pain could have turned out much worse, if it hadn't been for Naruto. But, they could have turned out much better, too.

"Me too," Naruto said. His missed his old teacher. When the two toads turned and left, he followed. Before long, they were in the musty old abode of the Great Toad sage, or the Great Honorable Geezer as some affectionately called him.

It took a while to wake the mountain's oldest toad. He had fallen alseep again. While many feared that he was senile, he was wiser than anyone else when he had reason to be. His prophecies were highly accurate. Always had been, and probably would be until the day he died. So, if there was a new prophecy, it was a momentous event.

"O. Hmmmpppfff. Do I remember you?" The ancient toad looked at Naruto from barely opened eyes. "Fuka! Shima! Should I know him?"

"It's Naruto," Fukasaku said softly. He could never tell when the Great sage was pretending. "One of the two children of the past prophecy."

"Of course it's Naruto!" The Great Toad Sage guffawed. "Who else did you think it was." He turned and looked at Shima. "Have you two been fighting again? Did you hit him on the head too hard? Is that why he's losing his marbles?"

"We don't have time for joking, Great Sage." Shima spoke diplomatically. "The boy has many things to think about, and the day is moving quickly along."

"Things are always moving," the Sage remarked. "Just like my bowels!" He smiled a toothless smile, closing his eyes. "That reminds me! You will be doing some moving too, won't you. Hah! Hah! I made a funny! But, remember this. Sex may be very interesting, but it is far less important than excretion. A man can go hundreds of years without sex... but he can die within a week without a bowel movement..."

"..." Naruto didn't have a reply.

"But why are you wasting time talking about sex," the Sage said. "There is a prophecy to tell." He felt the urge to speak in a booming voice. Prophecies sounded more mystical that way. "You will meet a woman who grasps like an octopus, and you will copulate with a woman with powerful eyes."

"Huh?" Naruto was affronted at first. "That's not very different than the last one. Before, you said that I would meet a creature with octopus tentacles and battle a young man with powerful eyes."

"Do you challenge my prophecy?" The Great Toad sage had both eyes wide open. He had picked up a gnarled wooden staff and struck it hard against the floor. "Do you want me to go yaoi instead? Should it read you will play hide the sausage with a young man with powerful eyes."

"NO!" Naruto froze. His shock gave way to anger, but he wisely kept his cool. He thought about the people who wrote stories where he and Sasuke were gay lovers and wished that he could script the future for the real world. "I mean... no... I don't doubt you." He had an epiphany. "I did run across a girl who grabbed like an octopus!" Anko. "But I wonder-" He felt his face turning red. If the prophecy came true, he could think of a girl with powerful eyes. Byakugan eyes.

"You are probably wondering if you can beat the prophecy." The Great Sage cackled. "Did you ever ask yourself, 'What if the Great Toad Sage' is actually the author of the FanFic?' Huh? Did you?"

Fukasaku hung his head. Shima put a hand to her mouth. They both knew that the older toad could never be a writer, since he was never awake long enough to research, much less write and proofread. He truly could be a nasty old bastard some times. That was one heck of a mindf-ck. They had both seen their peer speaking with a strange man, and correctly guessed his next move.

"Hey! Enforcer! Come here!" The Great Sage called out and pulled a string that rang a series of small bells. "And bring me a glass of warm milk!"

Sure enough, there was a puff of white smoke. The enforcer stood there, dressed in a butler's get-up. He held a fancy silver tray and a crystal goblet of cow's milk. "Here you go, master."

"M-...Ma-... Mas-...Master!" Naruto felt like every neuron in his brain was a ticking timebomb. "F-... Fu-... F-ck me!" Once again, he rarely swore. But, this was a special occasion.

"No," the enforcer said. "Not me," the enforcer joked. He smiled. "You certainly have a one track mind."

"I think this joke has gone far enough," Shima said in maternal fashion. "Remember, if you damage the poor boy's brain, you could put our existence at risk." She explained to Naruto that the enforcer had visited them a few days ago, in order to keep them all appraised with the events that were unfolding. The Sage was not the story writer. He wasn't even a consultant. "You are planning on chosing the Third choice, aren't you."

"I think so," Naruto said. He felt much the same way that he had in his youth, when he was driven to paint graffitti on the Stone Hokages. He promised himself that he would do the same thing to the Geezer, if the old shit-head fell asleep while he was still on the Mountain. "But I'm not sure yet." He looked over at the enforcer. "I can act against the prophecy if I want, can't I?"

The enforcer snapped his fingers. Time froze for everyone but him and Naruto. "Yes. You can. But I would suggest that the Sage's prophecy may still represent the best case scenario, when it comes to your choice of women. Knowing you, however, you'll want to come to a coclusion like that on your own." He grinned and waved his arms. Numerous opened paint cans covered the floor of the Sage's home. Each held a paint brush. Naruto found himself wearing a white smock and a raspberry beret. "Knock yourself out." After he finished watching the boy paint to his heart's content, he sent him back to Konoha.

Naruto arrived at the village covered with flecks of paint. It looked like a rainbow of dots arced across his jumpsuit. He had been so preoccupied with his Great Sage makeover, that the smock hadn't done him much good. He laughed again. Gamariki's freakish appearence was nothing compared to the wiseass Geezer's! Now, the old coot was colorful in more than one way. Best of all, it would take weeks for the paint to fade.

"There he is!"

Someone familiar shouted. He sounded very peeved.

"There he is, that bastard!"

That voice was growing louder and getting closer.

"THERE HE IS, THAT BASTARD OF A CHEATER!"

It was Konahamaru, with Udon and Moegi in tow. The three walked over to stand near Naruto. Konohamaru was fuming. Udon was sniffling loudly. Moegi was preening up a storm.

"What's the problem?" Naruto had no idea what might have angered his younger friend. He handed Udon a tissue he took from a hip pouch. He felt decidely uncomfortable as he watched Moegi try to strike up womanly poses.

"What's the problem, you say?" Konohamaru stood nose to nose with his erstwhile idol. "What's the problem? You know the problem! You're a cheater!" He stepped on naruto's foot, hard. "This is the only way you can beat me! We had an agreement as men! We were competeing to see who would be Hokage."

"The paint makes you look sexy," Moegi said. "I think I would like it if you painted me, too."

"..." Naruto swallowed hard. He knew that the girl had a crush. But, geez Loise!

"Don't change the subject, you loser!" Konohamaru's request was illogical, seeing that Moegi had been the one to speak. But, his fury was an honest one, given his viewpoint. "You probably knew that you were going to lose. So you did this!" He obviously had been informed of the choices that Naruto had been given. By the sound of it, he assumed that Naruto would choose the Third, and would automatically make himself Hokage. "Right, Udon."

"Ummm... I guess..." Udon was as noncommital as usual.

Naruto took some of his time to calm his friend down. His friend's feelings and dreams were important to him. But, his efforts didn't stop him feeling guilty inside. If he did shape the future... and did make himself Hokage... that could seem like cheating, couldn't it? Hmmm. Only if he wouldn't have been named Hokage without any change to the story. But, if he would be the best Hokage ever, would it be wrong to write things that way? Would it be fair to himself if he made Konohamaru Hokage because his friend was upset? Damn that author! The choice seemed so simple one moment, and incredibly hard the next!

"You look like someone wrestling with a moral dilemma." It was Neji. "I certainly know how that feels." He graciously asked if Naruto wanted to talk. "I once felt like a bird in a cage. That was nothing compared to what you must be feeling." He hoped that he could return the favor, talking to his friend. If he had defeated Naruto during the Chuunin exams, who knows how different his life might be. His eyes had been opened. He felt at peace every day.

"Yes," Naruto said. "I can understand how you must have felt. But, I'm a bird who can put any human I choose into a cage." He sighed. "But it's not that simple. I might think that my actions are opening a cage door for someone, only to find out that I closed an open door for someone else. I might think that I have torn the cages into pieces, only to have someone make arrows from the scraps and start shooting down all the other birds. Stuff like that."

"If you like, I will tell you some of the things I thought about when I was examining my life, before and after our match." Neji motioned to a bench in the shadow of a large weeping elm. "I won't work you through my steps. Those were personal and unique. But, it will be something to think about. An exercise of sorts, one that might help you as a mental palate cleanser. First, however, I would like to mention the concept of quantum thinking."

"Quantum leap thinking?" Naruto hid a smile. He didn't want to seem as if he were laughing at his friend. "That sounds so sci-fi."

"I know," Neji said. He smiled, too. "This is the gist. Many intelligent people think that the world is sequential. But, quantum leap thinking says that everything is not necessarily connected to everything else. Understanding that fact frees us from the limits that our assumptions place on us, and sets us free from the fear of significant changes." He stressed those last two words. "A person can make a great leap if they overcome the fear of leaping."

"But how-" Naruto felt a surge of hope. Might quantum leap thinking be something that could help him make his decision?

"It's natural to form barriers and tell yourself what you can or cannot do." Neji picked up a dead cicada and examined it, once again wondering at the immaculate design of Nature. "We'll talk a little about should and should not later." He placed the insect corpse down again. "Quick fixes defeat the concept. The desire for instant gratification is a barrier in itself."

Naruto nodded his head. That certainly made sense. And, it made him realize that he shouldn't rush his answer, just to get it over with.

"You also have to fight your fears. But, you shouldn't get too worked up over things that you think are problems, but really are not." Neji could relate to this point. There were things that he had falsely believed about the Hyuuga clan, and had wasted time resenting people and plotting against them. "You have to be able to separate the two and handle them with effective strategies. False concerns can distract you and make you want to quit when there really is no reason to."

Naruto nodded his head. He saw a lot of potential there. Without a doubt, the whole idea of sex was filled with true fears and false fears. The concept of choice-making in general was even worse.

"One can never accomplish anything if they do not take the necessary leap. You of all people should see that truth in that." Neji had once seen Naruto as a nothing-person. No. Worse the nothing. And a majority of the villagers had felt the way that he had, or far worse. But, Naruto had dared to dream. More importantly, he had done more than just dream. "You must act. But, you must not act recklessly. You must be diligent instead."

"Yes," Naruto said. That's what his walkabout was ultimately about. Being diligent. Finding the keys that unlocked different types of thought. "And... I should keep a positive outlook... any difficulty or adversity could actually turn out to be an opportunity."

"Correct," Neji said with a feeling of pride. Naruto had a good heart for sure. But, he also had a clever mind. In fact, that good heart often let him see and think things that others with weaker more selfish hearts might not. "Now, I should say a few words about ethics and morals. To make things simple, let us think of 'morals' when we are talking about personal decisions. Morality refers to values, codes of conduct, or social mores that distinguish between right and wrong." He went on to speak briefly about morality, before moving on to a more complicated subject.

"Let us think of 'ethics' when we are talking about group decision making," Neji said.. " Ethics can be defined as the rules-of-the-road for human actions. It is the set of principles that is followed by a civil society. It is based on treating others the way you would want to be treated."

"Believe it!" Naruto blushed. He was overly enthusiastic sometimes. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Neji smiled warmly. It was good to have friends. He had experienced the alternative. "There is nothing wrong with being spirited. I trust you. Most everybody trusts you." He held up a hand. "But... don't ever let that go to your head..." He pointed up at the Monument. "Especially if your head is ever carved up there."

"Right." Naruto sounded emotionally sober again.

"A few points to ponder." Neji sounded like a professor. Naruto fought the impulse to ask if he wanted a blackboard and pointer. "Ethics does not mean following the law, A good system of law does incorporate ethical standards. But, law can deviate from the ethical. Law can become ethically corrupt. Law can be a function of power alone. Law can serve only a small narrow part of the population." He thought about the issue with the Main and Branch families.

"Does the same thing go for cultures?" Naruto was making a mental leap ahead. "Some cultures seem to be very ethical. Others seem to be corrupt or blind to things that might be corrupt."

"Very good," Neji said. "Science, too. Science can tell us why we do things, but it does not tell us what we ought to do. And, just because it is scientifically possible to do something, that doesn't mean it is ethical to do so. "Ethics is not religion. Many people are not religious, but ethics applies to them as well. Ethics are not the same thing as feelings. Some people do feel bad when they do something wrong. But, many people feel good even though they are doing something bad."

"So-" Naruto scratched his head. When he was back in school, his mind wandered much of the time, but was especially transient when things became mentally challenging. He had to fight that habit now. "If ethics isn't based on feelings... religion... science... culture... and..." He couldn't remember the other one.

"Law," Neji said.

"Right! Law!" Naruto shook a leg that had fallen asleep. "What are ethics based on then?"

"I know your time is limited, so I will give you some broad categories." Neji wondered if time was indeed moving the same as usual. The sun hadn't moved as much as he thought it should have. "The Utilitarian Approach says that the ethical action is the one that does the most good... or does the least bad. The Rights Approach says that the ethical action is the one that respects and potects the moral rights of the individual. The Fairness and Justice Approach says that ethical actions treat every individual equally if possible, or at least fairly. The Common Good Approach says that ethical actions support the things in the community that are important to everyone's welfare. The Virture Approach says that ethical actions are the ones that are consistent with the virtues that help us achieve the highest level of character, such as honesty, courage, love, faithfulness, compassion, and fairness."

"Is there one that's best?" Naruto almost asked 'Are there more types,' but was afraid the answer might be yes. The talk was very insightful, but a sponge can only soak up so much liquid. "Or-" he thought a moment. "Or can we use each approach as a test of sorts." That would take a lot of thinking!

"Not everyone will have the same deinitions for words like 'human rights', 'common good', 'helping' or 'harming'." Neji sighed. He had been up and down like a rollercoaster many times, thinking about ethics. It was good that his friend wouldn't have days and weeks to worry over things. "Each approach may lead to a different answer. But, more often than not, the different approaches all point in a similar direction. Especially for someone like you." He felt that he had said enough. There were indeed too many ways of ethical thinking to talk about in one session. Categorical imperitive. Prioritarianism. Deontology. Ethical relativism. Normative ethics. Bounded rationality. And so forth and so on.

"Neji-" Naruto remembered something. He had meant it when he said it. "Do you remember when I said that I would change the Hyuuga clan when I was Hokage?"

"Yes," Neji replied. "I do." He nodded his head. "I see where this is leading. I won't say anything one way or the other. I will leave that up to you. It is a difficult issue. One has to balance the good of the few versus the good of the village as a whole." He told Naruto again that he trusted his eyes most of all, even though he didn't have a Byakugan, Sharingan, or Rinnegan. "If you decide to write... and you write in too many details... you may create a destiny that failure and genius alike cannot change. That would be ironic, would it not?" He looked as if he was having a difficult time getting the next words out. "There are particular details worth mentioning... but..."

"Pairings." Naruto said.

"Pairings," Neji said in turn. "I have read some of the fan-fiction from the other realm. It touches very close to the truth. But... I would ask that you do not pair me up with Ten Ten. I... we..." It was rare to see Neji hesitate in anything. "She is a good friend and I would not want to risk that. I also know that a Hyuuga with a skill level such as mine, may be obliged to have children with a Hyuuga wife."

"The Byakugan. One of the three great Dojutsu." Naruto sighed. As much as he loved being shinobi, he had thought about creating a world where there were no ninjas. But, if it wasn't bloodline traits influencing lives and decisions, it would be something else. "The kekkei genkai must be maintained." He snapped his fingers and perked up some. "That's something I could change. If a Hyuuga man always had children with the Byakugan no matter who his wife was..."

"That might be a good thing," Neji mused. "It would allow closer ties amongst tribes, too." His voice went from contemplative to assertive. "I still would ask that you do not pair me up. For some, a thoughtful pairing might prove beneficial. But for me... who has fought so hard against destiny... I would feel like a hypocrite if I did not say what I have said."

"OK," Naruto said. "After talking to a number of our friends, I've already decided that pairing wasn't the best way to go. If the writer allows me to say 'And my friends will all have happy families,' then I see no need to go further. But... I did hear something from the Great Toad Sage..." He mentioned the latest prophecy. He felt a big lump in his throat. His breathing came faster.

"Hinata," Neji said. "That would be a possibility. But, there are many Hyuuga women, including my other cousin." He looked torn again, as if there was something that he wanted to say, but thought it might be an intrusion.

"I don't really know Hanabi," Naruto said. "I don't know any Hyuuga girls except for Hinata. Granny Tsunade told me about Hinata's feelings for me. She told me how I have changed her life, and how we have certain things in common." His voice came out in a whisper. "Her Ninja Way is a lot like my own."

"Your children wouldn't run the risk of having pink hair." Neji was joking. Another rare occurrence. He smiled when he saw his friend's eyes go as wide as possible. It must be a somewhat troublesome image to naruto. The Hokage with pink-haired sons. "Though... you have hair like your father..." He and Naruto's other friends had been happy for him, learning about his lineage.

"That's true!" Naruto still felt a chill run down his spine, however. Pink hair? That was something he could script out! Or, he could script it in, if he paired Sakura with Sasuke. His previously poisonous friend wanted to revive his clan, did he? He had turned his back on the village, right? He had acted against his companions! The Pink-hair Penance Probability! He stopped his evil chuckling when Neji coughed politely. "O. Sorry. We were talking about Hinata."

"I shouldn't have joked," Neji admitted. "But I wanted to make a commentary on pairings and how people try to reason them out. There really shouldn't be so much thinking or deciding. Individuals should not be playing cards." He motioned to the tarot card that Naruto still wore around his neck. "It... the rules of this game..." He looked over at the Great Wheel. "There is already a great onus built in."

"A great onus written by a great anus." Naruto fought the urge the sulk. "The writer offers up so much treasure, but also so much trash!" He sighed. This was no time to pout. He had so much to think through. Prophecies. Quantum Leap thinking. The Butterfly effect. Morals and ethics. People's hopes and dreams. And sex, of course. "There certainly is something attractive about the choice with blank slats. I can't help but find myself tempted..."

"To erase a large number of names on the wheel?" Neji had no trouble surmising Naruto's thoughts. "To use the death of horrible men and petty criminals to your own benefit? Killing two birds with one stone? You and the chosen woman are not forced to perform the act. The village is treated like a garden, with weeds being pulled out." He nodded his head. "But... both of us know... people change. And, if someone else was the one doing the weeding-"

"Sasuke would be the first weed they pulled up." Naruto made a face. "If the elders didn't want to preserve the Sharingan." He felt like punching some thing or someone. The Council may have been looking out for Konoha, but their methods caused so much death and pain. Itachi. The whole Uchiha clan except for Sasuke. And after all that, they wanted to bring back the clan they had wiped out?

"There would be ethical trade offs," Neji noted. "But, the weight on you soul would vanish when the choice was made. No one would know what had transpired, not even you. You could script a raging fire at the Penetentiary. You could write about an epidemic that struck the seedy neighborhoods. Criminals would avoid the Clinic for fear of being recognized and arrested. Or, the people of evil nature could rise up in revolt against the Damyo, dying in their treasonous rebellion."

"Maybe I should hire you to be my ghost writer," Naruto said. "Just the way that Jiraiya had me write a chapter in one of his books when he was busy." He squared his shoulders. "I just can't get past the thought that I would be killing defenseless people if I did that. And... I would feel dirty... doing something that I know the Council would choose in a heartbeat." He had been shadowed by elders throughout the day. They had all tried to approach him, but had been held back by invisble walls, as if they were playing mime. If that was the author's doing, he was grateful for that much. "Even criminals have family members who would be affected."

"Right." Neji understood completely. "People shouldn't forget that Danzo was operating with the village's best interest at heart." He scowled. "The village's best interests in his image." He changed tack. "But... back to Hinata..."

"I would feel so terrible... you know... almost as if I was betraying her." Naruto was clearly making reference to naming the white-eyed girl as his sex partner. "She trusts me. Granny Tsunade says that she idolizes me. Like I said before, I've been the person that made her change for the better.."

"The other women would be affected, too." Neji stood up, needing to continue about his business. "But, there is a way around it. You get the person you select to buy into things. Or, at the very least, you explain your options to her. Or, to all of them. The further that you narrow down your choices-"

"The fewer girls I need to speak with." Naruto felt tense and relaxed at the same time, almost as if he were looking left when he was looking right. "If one or more of them is okay with things... or even wants things that way..." He blushed. It sounded all so simple. But, he would have to approach the girls and strike up a rather delicate conversation.

"Exactly," Neji said. After saying that, Neji added his farewells and went on his way.

Naruto was saved the need to hunt down one of the women on his short list. As he walked down one alleyway, he came across the rest of Team Kakashi, who had been using the time to train. Yamato happened to be with them too, despites Kakashi's presence.

"Sakura." Naruto felt like a wax figure. He couldn't move. And, if someone were to turn up the heat, he would melt into a puddle.

"Naruto!" Sakura didn't look shy and retiring. She didn't blush or stammer. "You!"

"I think we should leave the two of them alone for a moment," Yamato suggested.

"I don't know," Kakashi said. "Maybe we should be chaperons." He knew that this was not the best time for that joke. But, he was who he was. "Spring is in the air... a boy and girl left alone... nature takes it's course..." He swallowed hard when Saukra turned her glare on him. "You're right."

"I will stay and observe," Sai remarked. "This would be a wonderful opportunity to learn about relations of the heart." He took out the book that he wrote facts and observations in. "Not to mention the functions of various parts of the anatomy." He offered no resistence when Kakashi and Yamato each took one of his arms and dargged him off.

"Uh... hi, Sakura... I was going to look for you." Naruto felt as if the whole world sat on him.

"I know why!" Sakura did care about Naruto. And she did care about Sasuke. She had a great number of things to sort out in her heart. But, that was her trial. That was her business. "And you better stop thinking that right now!" She stomped one foot. Stone fragments flew up. When she moved that foot, there was a hole in the street. "I am not a Barbie Girl!" She was still mortified by the comical choice in songs. It wasn't funny to her! "You cannot use me here... there... or anywhere!"

"But... I didn't... it wouldn't be..." Naruto shut his mouth, quieted by an observation. Tears were welling up in his teammates eyes.

"Just don't make any decisions for me!" Sakura smapped. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Her voice softened. "Please." Her voice changed again. "Don't think that I wouldn't know. Somehow I would. Somehow. And I would hate you for it!" She knew that she was being over-emotional. She knew the difficulty her friend found himself in. She couldn't help herself. She walked away swiftly, dabbing at her eyes with a tissue.

"You handled that well." That was Yamato and his dry sense of humor. He had returned alone. "I won't take up much of your time. I just wanted to add my two cents." The jounin created a large wooden bench. It was convenient, and it served as a good talking point. "It's a very useful talent, isn't it."

"Yes," Naruto admitted. He looked down the alley. The homes that he could see in the distance had been built with the first Hokage's techniques.

"I wouldn't have this wonderful talent, unless someone had done something horrible." Yamato was obviously referiing to Orochimaru and his experiments. "The question might be, is it worth it? So many children died. But, my surviving did not cause their deaths. I was the fortunate exception. What if we all had survived? Would the ends excuse the means? It's something for you to think about. There is something else, too-" He created a large shape out of wood. A circle, with an 'S' shape dividing it in half, a small round circle placed in the head of each comma-shaped piece. "That shape is called the Taijitu. It represents an ancient and profound philosophy."

"Which philosophy?" Naruto tried to remember where he had seen a symbol like that one. Right! There was an identical shape seen on the divination field of the Hyuuga Clan

"Taoism," Yamato answered. "Taoists generally focuses on nature; the relationship between humanity and the cosmos; health and longevity; and action through inaction." He let that last concept sink in before speaking further. "They speak of yin and yang. Those words have meaning to shinobi, too. The manipulation of Yin and Yang is the source of non-elemental jutsu such as the Shadow Imitation Technique, Multi-Size Technique, medical ninjutsu, genjutsu, and so forth. Inton, the Yin release techniques, are beased on the spiritual energy that governs the imagination. They can create form out of nothingness. Yōton, the Yang Release techniques, are based on physical energy that governs vitality. They can be used to breath life into form."

"That-" Naruto couldn't see how those facts helped him.

"Sorry. That was the teacher in me." Yamato got to his point. "The Taoists emphasize compassion, moderation, and humility. Those characteristics may serve you well in whatever decisions you are expected to make. You might also benefit from thinking about the nature of Yin and Yang in their way of thinking. Some people think that Yin and Yang refer to good and evil. Taoists generally discount dichotomous moral judgments. They prefer the idea of balance. At the heart of the Taijitu are two poles of existence. They are opposite, but are also complimentary. The white Yang moves up, blending with the dark Yin moving down. They are thought of as two aspects of a single reality. Each contains the seed of the other... that is why there is a black spot of Yin in the white Yang... and a white spot of Yang in the black Yin."

"So-" Naruto was beginning to feel frazzled. He focussed his concentration again.

"While the Taoists are not concerned with good and evil, we can look at those two things with a Taoist eye." Yamato tried to put his thoughts into words. "Good often gives rise to evil, and vice versa. No matter how much good you try to create, there will always be evil. No matter how much evil might come from your wrong decision, there will always be good there to balance it out. Worry more about the small personal things you might affect. The world can take care of itself."

"O." Naruto instinctively understood that. It did provide him with a different perspective.

"To be complete, I should mention that Yin is earth, female, dark, passive, and absorbing. Yang is heaven, male, light, active, and penetrating." The jounin saw Naruto twitch after hearing that last word. "Yin is present in even numbers, in valleys and streams, and is represented by the tiger, the color orange, and a broken line."

"Hey!" Naruto stood up in protest. Orange! "I'm not womanly!" He sat back down when Yamato gave him 'that' face.

"May I continue?" The jounin's voice made it certain that the polite question was merely a formality. "Yang is present in odd numbers, mountains, and is represented by the dragon, the color azure, and an unbroken like." After finishing with those factual tidbits, he left to report for duty. The void was quickly filled by Sai.

"Naruto," Sai said with a neutral voice. "I thought that as your teammate, I should come and offer you comfort in your time of great trouble and need." He held out a bag of fresh fish-shaped taiyaki. He knew that his friend enjoyed that kind of pastry. "Enjoy."

"Thanks!" Naruto quickly reached into the bag. He took out two taiyaki and offered one to Sai who accepted. "Who are you, and what have you done with Sai!" He laughed at his own joke. But, he was talking only partly in jest. There were Yin and Yang aspects to the former Root ninja. He should have saved his breath.

"I overheard you speaking about Taoism." Sai was incorrect. Naruto had been listening. But, his mistake was not important. His mistakes were never really important. But, they certainly could fire people up. The proof of that would soon follow. "It is quite the coincidence. I read a book at the Scroll depository, but do not have a copy to give you. I can share what I read, however."

Naruto thought about nixing that idea quickly. But, Sai had beeen thoughtful enough to bring him a gift.

"Taoist sexual practices... fangzhongshu... the Bedroom Arts..." Sai read from his notebook. "The Joining Energy... the Joining of Essences... by performing those sexual arts, one can stay in good health and attain longevity." He cocked his head. "By longevity, I assume they mean long life, not long length." He smiled when Naruto spat out some pastry, choking. "I wrote down helpful information for you, taken from a Taoist book titled Health Benefits of the Bedchamber. Certain times appear to be better for intercourse than others. You should avoid having intercourse on quarter or full moons and on days when there were great winds, rain, fog, cold or heat, thunder, lightning, solar and lunar eclipses, rainbows and earthquakes. Having intercourse at these times might harm your spirit and would cause a woman partner to become ill. Also, children conceived at these times would be insane, stupid, perverse, foolish. They might also be mute, deaf, crippled, blind, and violent. I wonder if that explains some of the villains we have fought. That-"

"Sai." Naruto had eaten his fill of pastry. He had also heard his fill of Sai-isms.

"Sorry. I was about to digress." Sai smiled amicably. "Instead, I should mention that one should select the right day for intercourse if wishes to have children. After the woman's period, the first, third or fifth days may be the best. If on these days the man ejaculates after midnight, the child would likely be a boy . If a female child is preferrable, the man needs to ejaculate on the second, fourth or sixth days after the cessation of the woman's period."

"Sai!" Naruto felt his heart thumping and his anger rising.

"You are not thinking about becoming a father. I apologize." Sai flipped through a couple of pages. "I should have realized that. You are probably more intereted in the ideal locations for sexual encounters." He read from the book. "People should avoid the glare of the sun, moon or stars. They should not have their union in the interior of shrines, in proximity to temples, wells, stoves and privies. The vicinity of graves or coffins is also discouraged."

"SAI!" Naruto fought the urge to create a large number of clones to gag and dogpike his talkative teammate.

"Naruto?" Sai blinked rapidly, trying to interpret the other boysactions. "You are more interested in geometry than geography?" He began rummaging inside his rucksack. "Ah. You don't want words. You want pictures." He smiled. He could take care of both of those necessities. "Here. They did alow me to check this book out when I gave them your name." He handed a book to Naruto.

"The Jutsu Sutra?" Naruto couldn't fight his curiosity. He opened the book. He didn't see any illustrations, yet. The table of contents was enough to make him tremble. "Chapter One. Kinds of Union According to Dimensions, Force of Desire, and Time; and on the Different Kinds of Love. Chapter Two. Of the Embrace. Chapter Three. On Kissing. Chapter Four. On Pressing or Marking with the Nails. Chapter Five. On Biting, and the Ways of Love to be Employed with Regard to Women of Different Countries. Chapter Six. On the Various Ways of Lying Down, and the Different Kinds of Congress. Chapter Seven. On the Various Ways of Striking, and of The Sounds Appropriate to Them. Chapter Eight. About Females Acting the Part of Males. Chapter Nine. On Holding the Lingam in the Mouth. Chapter Ten. How to Begin and How to End the Congress. Different Kinds of Congress, and Love Quarrels."

"Fascinating, is it not." Sai walked over and took the book from Naruto's limp hands. He opened it to another page and held it up for his friend to see, preparring to give him the equivalent of a slide show. "There are sixty-four acts illustrated and described in ten chapters. See. Penetrating partner on top with front entry. And here. Penetrating from behind. Also. Receiving partner on top. Sitting and kneeling. Standing. Anal sex positions. Different postures for each of them. And then, there are the less common positions. Some of these are highly inventive. For example-"

"THAT'S IT! THAT'S ENOUGH!"

Naruto created clones. They piled on Sai, but only after claiming that their actions had nothing sexual about them.

"Books can cause a lot of trouble, can't they." That came from Kakashi, who perched atop a nearby lamp post. Naturally, he held a copy of an Icha Icha book. "Don't worry. I'm not going to tease you or lecture you." He closed the book. "But I will offer a few thoughts. But first... I guess..." He put one hand behind his head. "About that master of ceremony routine."

"It was the endorcer's doing," Naruto said. "Well, the writer's, really." He smiled. "I don't blame you, Kakashi-sensei."

"Good. Great. I didn't want to have to think up another lame excuse." He winked. That was the first time that he had formally admitted to his excuses, even though he knew that everyone had caught on before. "But... as much as I might want to... I can't say that this story-line is entirely lame. It certainly has been thought-provoking. And the early chapters served as a bit of a metaphor for the whole fan-fiction business."

"If you say so," Naruto grumped.

"It made me think about the things that I might change, if I could affect the past." Kakashi jumped down and stood next to his teammate. "You know... if Orbito didn't die... if Rin was still with us..." He adjusted his mask, making things more comfortable. "Also for me, Sarutobi and Jiraiya. For tsunade, Dan Katō and Nawaki. For Team Ten, Asuma. That kind of thing."

"And for Sasuke, his brother and his whole clan." Naruto understood. "And for me, my mother and father. Those choices would be easy!"

"Would they really?" Kakashi grinned. "Then chew on this a bit. What was Dan's dream? What was Nawaki's ambition? They both wanted to be Hokage, didn't they? The Daimyo liked Jiraiya, and might have asked him to take the hat if Tsunade had refused." He didn't mention his own place as a possible candidate. "If there were still so many potential Kages out there-"

"O." Naruto's mouth fell open. "Then I might never have a chance." He saw the truth in that. But, his pride made itself heard. He still might have proven himself to the people, no matter how many competitors there were. "I might only have to wait a lot longer."

"Right." Kakashi held out the bells. "Any way, you can't change the past. You know what happened the first time I tested you guys with these. But, you can choose the future. We all can, in our own way. That's how you and Sakura were able to defeat me the second time. You worked hard towards a better future. Furthermore, the results would have been the same if it was an independent effort, or if someone had scripted things for you." Which, in fact, was what had happened in the canon. "You would still have worked hard... and the results would have been just the same..."

"Uh huh." Naruto saw that. His mind kept sweeping one way and then another, like the arm of a metronome. Good bad. Right wrong. Fair unfair. Intruder facillitator. Etc. etc.

"There is always cause and effect," the Copy ninja said. He uncovered his Saringan. "This is my claim to fame, right. It has allowed me to do important things and save many lives." He shrugged sadly. "But, while it did not cost my teammate his life, it did come to me as a result of his death." He thought of another example. "Shino's family had no choice but to bring the Kamizuru clan to the brink of annihilation. Their giant bees could have caused countless deaths in the Leaf. But, that clan also raised a large number of normal bees. Without those bees, many crops, trees, and wildflowers were affected. A large number of people starved to death. A lot of beauty left the world along with their ugliness of spirit." There was a reason why that example had come to mind. He had noticed a presence that Naruto had overlooked up until this point.

When Kakashi left, Naruto realized that another friend was nearby. It was Shino. He was standing at the end of the alleyway, waiting his turn to speak.

"No doubt you did not see me there," Shino said. "Or if you saw me, you didn't recognize me." It was that sore spot again. "If you do choose to take control of the future, don't forget to put me there, too."

"I have never forgotten you!" Naruto felt a bit testy. He simply hadn't recognized Shino in his new outfit, that day he retunred to the village. He had never heard the end of it, or how he had easily recognized Kiba, Akamaru, and Hinata that same day. "I would never forget any of my friends!"

"So you say." Shino did not sound convinced. "Nevertheless, that was only one reason that I wanted to speak to you. Kiba and I were talking. About your woman issue. I thought of a solution. Literally and figuratively."

"A solution." Naruto felt a bit bothered. He didn't like the ideas of his friends discussing his problems. Then again, practically everyone in this village... and in all villages... were probably talking about him. There was good reason to wonder about the outcome, and many people were simply gossips. But, they reaped what they sowed. The people that they gossiped with, probably gossiped about them too!

"Yes," Shino said. He took a small phial out from under his robe. "You might be worried that the woman who spends time with you may be there against her wishes. It would be like two people being raped by each other. It would be dangerously close to paradox."

"What's in that bottle?" Naruto wondred if it might be cologne. How could that make things better?

"Phereomones," Shino replied. "My family is adept at creating them from natural sources, and manipulating them to serve our needs."

"Aha! That's how creepy guys get girlfriends and wives!" Naruto clamped both hands over his mouth. He was too late. He had indeed thought about that subject, because the thought of bugs inside of people always left him feeling queasy.

"That was rude." Shino was rightfully offended. He turned to leave, but accepted his friend's hurried apology. "We use them in connection with chakra bugs and other beneficial insects. But your unkind remark tells me that you must know something about the subject.

"Yes," Naruto said. "I remember Iruka-sensei telling us about bugs. Let's see. There were... alarm pheromones... food trail pheromones... sex pheromones... and others..."

"Correct," Shino said. "You are good at repeating things. I hope you are also good at understanding them." He felt totally justified sticking that barb in there. "Insects use those peheromones for their own needs and the needs of the entire population. Humans can easily use the exact same substances to their own advatnages, helping advantageous species and removing or reducing disadvantageous ones. For example, we can interupt reproductive cycles. We can lure pests into traps. By doing the latter, we cut down on the amount of harmful pesticides that farmers use. That benefits the soil and people eating produce grown in that soil."

"Lure..." Naruto swallowed hard. "Traps..." He didn't want to think of himself as some kind of sexual predator.

"Pay attention," Shino said. "Some plants use pheromone-like substances. Vertebrates, too. Mammals of all sorts use olfactory signals to define territories... mark their young... signal aggressive intent... and indicate a willingness to copulate."

"Aggressive intent." Naruto was letting his imagination run wild again. "Willingness to copulate."

"I hope you are taking this more seriously than you take me," Shino said sharply. "Kiba keeps joking about the subject, asking me for a magic potion that would let him 'get some'. I thought you would be different."

"I am!" Naruto asserted.

"Alright," Shino said after a long silent pause. "We do not know if there are human pheromones per se. There are clans in other villages who are researching that subject. That is a worrisome fact. There could be great danger if they discover such things and turn them into weapons. Anyway, while many people rate olfactions as their least important sensory modality... and believe that something that means little to themselves must mean little to others as well..."

"Hey!" Naruto shook a fist at his friend. "I bathe!"

"I didn't mention any names," Shino said. "It is not necessary." He didn't clarify if the lack of necessity came from the name already being obvious, or whether a specific name had no bearing on his lecture. "Even though people often give less importance to smell over taste, hearing, seeing, and touching, they still make great efforts and spend a large amount of money on deodarant soaps, scented shampoos, underarm sprays, and the like."

"I told you that I bathe," Naruto said, his voice going up an octave.

"I know that. I was speaking about humans in general." Shino didn't like to be interrupted. "Olfaction is neither unimportant nor obsolete. Most human odors come from the skin. Sebaceous glands are concentrated in the underarms... nipples...pubic area, genital area, and areas around the anus... eyelids... outer ear... and the region around the mouth and lips. Because four of those areas are associated with hair... and because hair growth occurs at puberty... the dispersal of bodily odors may be linked to sexual development."

Naruto made a face. He remembered seeing the bearded woman from crowd the previous night. She had hairy pits, too. That was not sexy to him!

"The substances produced by those glands are not smelly in themselves." Shino stated. "When bacteria in the skin eventually degrade them, that is when the odor becomes offensive." He realized that there was a danger in being too factual and too verbose. He needed to tailor things to is audience. "Many women have an acute ability to smell musk. Musks are steroids that have a structure somewhat like testosterone. Maybe that is why men are largely unaffected. Regardless, seeing that women are more odor-receptive than men... and knowing that they are most sensitive to musk at those points in their cycle when they are most likely to want sexual intercourse... musk may serve as a possible pheromonal trigger for sexual activity." He took out another phial. "You should not be left feeling forced, either. There are those that think that vaginal secretions might contain some kind of sex pheromone-"

"Euwwww-www-ww-w...." Naruto was not a big fan of secretions of any sort. But the thought of certain secretions in general sort of grossed him out.

"Grow up!" Shino hardly ever raised his voice. He tried his best not to hyperventilate. "Researchers have purposed that there is an undiscovred substance called copulin. In rhesus monkeys-"

"Gag!" Naruto felt childish. "Is that-" he stared at the one phial. "Is that monkey juice? If it is, I sure as shit won't be using it!"

"It is not monkey juice." Shino gritted his teeth together.

"O. That's alright then." Naruto felt momentarily relieved. Wait. If it didn't come from monkeys. He tensed up again.

"Use them if you like," Shino said when Naruto had both bottles in his possession. "I was only trying to help. I hope you are thankful." After Naruto assured him that he was, the cowled ninja added a stren command. "Don't give either bottle to Kiba under any circumstances. I will have your word on that!" He knew that his friend's word was his bond. After Naruto promised, Shino headed home.

Naruto decided to visit a couple of people in particular. He wanted Granny Tsunades advice. He should take the time to speak with Hinata. But, just the same, he was accosted by a random mindividual again. Well, as random as anyone can be in a written piece.

"Hello there, Naruto. Have you seen Guy." It was Ningame, Guy's summons. "He said that he was under an attack of sorts, but I have seen no evidence of battle. Do you know anything about this? Was it assassins?"

"Well..." Naruto stared at the large red reptile with bright yellow markings. "Character assassins, maybe-" He remembered the way that the women were ganging up on the green-clad ninja. He remembered something off-topic about the turtle. He wore a forehead protector with the Leaf symbol. That meant that he was highly loyal to Konoha, the way that Kakashi's ninken were, and the way that King Enma had been while Sarutobi lived. No other summons wore nation-specific headgear.

"Before I look to rescue Guy-" Ningame said. "I will leave you with a piece of advice. Can you please reach into the bag on my back and take out a Tootsie Pop. Unwrap it for me, and place it at my feet." After Naruto did so, the turtle said "Many people can sound smart. They may be the smartest people that anyone else knows. But that doesn't mean that everything they say is right. I'm reminded of an old TV commercial from the real worlds that was shown on an oldies program here. A boy asked a wise old owl how many licks it took to get to the center of one of these Tootsie Pops. This was how he answered." He licked the lollipop once. "One-" He licked it again. "Two-" He licked it a third time and then bit it. "Three. The answer is three. Think about it."

Naruto was able to make his way to the Hokage after that. He told her about everything that he had seen and heard, and she took a good bit of time helping him to sort out his thoughts. She also decided that it was a prime opportunity to teach him something about leadership.

"So. Do you think that leadres are born... or made..." Tsunade asked Naruto.

"I would think that you have to learn it." Naruto thought a moment longer. "I bet that everyone has some leadership potential. Some people will just be better at it than others."

"That's right." The Hokage smiled. "Is Ton Ton hiding under your chair. Did she give you the answer?" As it turned out, Ton Ton had left the building when Naruto entered. "A person doesn't need to fill an office or be officially designated as a leader to be able to lead. You see evidence of that every day in shinobi society."

"Yes," Naruto said. "In the simplest sense, a person is a leader when he makes things happen that wouldn't have happened otherwise."

"Are you sure Ton Ton isn't down there?" Tsunade was glad to see that Naruto was a still a quick thinker. "Here are some points to remember. Leaders should be well organized. Leadership requires commitment. It is important, for a leader to know his or her own abilities, knowledge and values, and to how others perceive those things. For example, if trust is a quality that is highly valued by the people you are leading, then it is important for you to be viewed as a trustworthy person. Also, by knowing your own strengths and weaknesses, you can also develop a plan to work on those areas that you may wish to improve."

"Right." Naruto nodded.

"A successful leader makes an effort to learn and practise appropriate skills," Tsunade continued.. "There are certain things that you will want to become intimately familiar with." Those last words had her frowning. "Knowledge and understanding of specific tasks. The ability to communicate. Team building. Vision. Risk taking."

Naruto was scribbling down notes. Heis face turned red when the Hoakage slyly asked if she should speak slower.

"It is imperative that you learn to value individuals, groups, and the responsibilities assocayed with individuals and groups. In addition, we all tend to think of a good communicator as a good speaker. But that is only part of it. A key and often forgotten component of an effective communication is listening."

"Did you say something?" Naruto kept himself from smiling. This was payback for the pig remarks, and for the crack about him having to write things down.

"I never should have let you hang around Kakashi after I became Hokage." Tsunade was probably joking. "Or Jiraiya. Anyway, a good listener hears not only facts, but also hears feelings. Paraphrasing or restating the person's message in shorter terms is a useful technique."

"So you're saying that I should restate your comments." Naruto smiled. Another golden opportunity. "So... is Ton Ton hiding under your chair... telling you all of this smart stuff?" He almost peed his pants when Tsunades's arm twitched. The chair arm broke off in her grasp. "Right. Listening. Sure."

"A leader cannot achieve success alone." Tsunade met Naruto's eyes meaningfully. "But at times she will be very tempted in that regard." Her visage softened. "As I mentioned before, a good leader should have vision. He or she should be a risk taker and an innovator. You can come up with new ideas yourself, or see the value in new ideas that other people come up with. A good leader should recognize and reward people for their efforts. They should encourage the people working under them."

"Is there a certain style a leader uses?" Naruto had been lead by many people, but he had never come up with one particular trait that they all had in common. "I haven't been able to figure that out."

"It's good that you were looking for an answer," Tsunade said, putting her words into action. "A leader may use different styles in carrying out his or her role. The style that a leader chooses will depend mostly upon his subject's level of readiness and their willingness to be led. There are four styles that are appropriate for different situations." She went on to give a brief description of different styles and situations, including the Directing and Telling leader... the Coaching and Selling leader... the Participating and Supportive leader... and the Delegating and Trusting leader.

"So... will one size doesn't fit all..." Naruto mused. He wasn't going to learn to be an effective leader instantly. But, he didn't have to. What's more, he could incorporate the things that he had learbed here into his planning, if he chose the Third choice. He could make certain that he would remember the things that he had to research further, and the things that he had to keep practicing. "I bet there's no magic way to become a good leader overnight..."

"There may be hope for you yet," Tsunade said. "Keep your eyes open. Keep your ears open. And keep your mind open. Remember to involve, and to evolve. Enrich yourself and others. Motivate people, and let people motivate you. Take risks when you have to, but don't gamble unnecessarily."

"Hai!" Naruto looked out the window. The sun had started going down. There wasn't a lot of time left. There had been change in deadlines. He would have to give his answer to the enforcer at the stroke of midnight.

"I heard about Sakura," the Hokage said out of the blue. Sakura had spoken to Shizune, and Shizune had spoken to her. "That saves you one very important converstaion. But... there's another girl you should take the time to talk to. I doubt she came running up to you and tell you leave her out of things."

"Yes," Naruto admitted. "Hinata." He naturally recalled the discussion that he and the Sannin had held on the night of The Spin. "I was planning on visiting her next. But-" His skin felt clammy. He felt unsure and inexperienced.

"Just be yourself," Tsunade suggested. "You're the person that she has always admired. To hear Neji and others speak, she has become a good deal braver, at least in battle. She saved his life a number of times during the Shinobi Wars, and never backed down or hid... neven once." She smiled warmly. "Be honest and show her the respect that she deserves. Be patient with her and with yourself." She decided to leave things on a light note. "And don't listen to a single thing that Sai tells you."

"Sai!" Naruto felt as if his face was on fire. "Did you hear about-" He shut his mouth. There was no way that she could have known about Sai and the books. And, there was no way in hell that he was going to tell her!

"I won't ask" the Hokage said in droll fashion. "You don't have to tell."

"Thank you," Naruto said, his breath coming out in a long whoooo-ooo-oo-osh. "Thank you very much. You're a good leader! No, a really really good leader! No, a great leader!"

"Shizune will find out for me later." Tsunade reached for a cup of tea and took a sip. She wasn't kidding. Sai had been through a great deal, thanks to Danzo and his cronies. The pyschiatric personnel of the medical staff were slowly reprogramming the young man, in hope that he could lead a semblance of a normal life. She and Shizune were keeping a close eye on his actions and interests.

"..." Naruto tangled his feet up when he got out of his chair too quickly. He had to windmill his arms to keep from faceplanting.

"So, now that we're done with that subject-" Tsunade nibbled at a fingernail. She was no Anko, but had a mischievous streak of her own. "Would this be a good time to talk about contraceptives?" She cringed when Naruto fell over. It was the dominoe effect. He hit a tall marble statue. The statue fell and hit an ornate pillar. The pillar struck a wood and silk partition. The partition scooted along the floor and undercut a plant stand. The plant stand dumped its contents out of a window and into a butterfly garden. An irate shout rang out. Ordelies ran outside to see if someone had been injured.

The Hokage hadn't been joking. Unless the boy added blanks to the wheel... or was shooting blanks... the topic needed to be reinforced.

"Unless the girl of your choice... or the girl chosen by fate... is on the Pill..." Tsunade went on to give a condensed and complete recital.

Naruto's ears rang for a good ten minutes after the Hokage finished.