Chapter 10: Debriefing

Lane, Williams, and Benjamin poured over the maps for a few moments before calling giving a heading.

"How long do you estimate before we reach our destination?" Captain Turner questioned the trio.

Benjamin shrugged. "The Dutchman is able to traverse the seas in mere minutes. Without Calypso's speed, about three days, sir."

The captain nodded. "Good." He beckoned to me, "LT, a word, if I may?"

I stood and moved toward him, "of course, sir."

He guided me away from the men. "Now that we have our heading, I believe you have the time to hold your session with your crewmates. Mr. Gyps is aft, helping Mr. Jacobson with navigation."

I caught on instantly and a wave of gratitude swept through me. "Thank you sir. Where might I be able to find SN Tyson, sir?"

"Those traveling to the other side have space on the second deck. The stairwell is on the forward port side, just beyond the crew barracks."

I bit back my impulse to hug the understanding, kind, handsome man before me. "Thank you sir. We won't be long."

He smiled. "Of course."

Still suppressing my childish impulse, I turned and flew up the steps to Gyps. "We need to speak, now."

Gyps nodded while Segrado's eyes narrowed. "Now just a minute, girlie…"

I reached out to Gyps, while glaring at Segrado. "Captain's orders."

Segrado scowled. "Get out 'o my sight then."

"Only too gladly." I smiled at him as I led Gyps away.

He followed me silently as we marched quickly across the deck and down the stairwell to the guest quarters.

Tyson was sitting by the hatch, eyes closed. At our footsteps, he opened his eyes and got up. "Good morning ma'am, Sgt."

I smiled at him. "Good morning SN Tyson. I believe this session would be best carried out in my quarters. Follow."

As I led them down the hallway, I felt an increasing anxiety for the coming session. I had no idea what to say. So the moment they stepped into my room, I shut the door and spread my arms. "This session is for you. Whatever you say or do, it doesn't leave this room. So just go. Sgt Gyps, why don't you start?"

Gyps nodded and sat on the edge of my bed. He removed the remnants of his glasses and rubbed his eyes. "I'm not quite sure what to say, ma'am." He took a deep breath and stared at the floor. "I think on some level, I always knew I'd die out here, in action, so to speak." He spoke in a quiet, almost disgusted tone. "But I never really accepted it. I thought it'd be a long time from now. Like on my last tour, after seeing my kids grow up a bit. Go to a school play, a football game, graduation. Nothing like this. I wasn't ready." He looked directly at me with deep, dead eyes. He laughed softly, depreciatingly. "You never really understand it until you're there, do you? My wife, she's strong. She'll be alright. The insurance will help. It sounds funny, but the logic is the only thing I have right now."

Tyson shook his dark head slowly. "No sir. You have us. I know we aren't your kids or your wife, but we're still family. Military family. You signed up for a job, you got everything that goes with it. Including the family. We eat together, sleep together, live together, struggle together, win and lose together. Survive…" he paused, "… or not… together. We started this mission together, we finished it together." He paused as Gyps curled over himself and wept. After a moment, he wrapped an arm over the slender man. "You're my brother, Sergeant. You got that? You aren't alone. Not now, not ever. Not in the military."

Gyps nodded and wiped at his eyes. "What about you, SN? You doing alright?"

Tyson gave a half smile and nodded. "I always knew it would be this way. I never wanted it any other way. I joined up because I didn't really have anyone at home. I signed up for something bigger than myself. And I got it. I am content. Grieving for home, yes. But in general, content. I did what I wanted in this life. Well… sort of." He rubbed the back of his neck with one big hand. "Always did want a wife and kids of my own. Sorta got that though. All the boys," he glanced in my direction, "and girls, I worked with. My brothers, sisters, and kids. I think I did alright." A single tear slipped down his face. "And now it's all gone. But for a little while, it was there. I had a family and a cause. I accomplished something. So did you, both of you. So cry, grieve, we all do. But feel good, you accomplished something. You are part of the most amazing family every created, the family of those who volunteered to serve others with all you have."

Somehow, Tyson's words brought about a strange calm. I was no longer torn apart by grief. Still, the guilt nagged at my brain, but with much less intensity than before. I glanced around and saw that Gyps was feeling the calm as well, leeching off of the contentedness Tyson seemed to have in abundance. I smiled. "Thank you SN Tyson, SGT Gyps, for your time."

Tyson and Gyps shook their heads. "Ma'am, will you be alright? You haven't said anything."

I nodded. "I had a cry last night. Honestly, it's not so much for me that I grieve. I guess it's just the guilt. I just thought that if I had done something differently, we wouldn't be here. But you're right, Tyson. We accomplished a lot. So thank you. Do either of you have anything else?"

They shook their heads. "No ma'am."

"In that case," I stood, "I suggest we all get back to work. If you ever need to have another session, or just a friend to talk to, my hatch is always open." I turned and the three of us filed out into the passageway, up the stairs, and into the sunlight.