Reflections, Realisations and Regrets
Chapter 11: Survival Part 1
AN: Thanks as always to my amazing beta Eastern Violet for her help, advice and tireless input. Thank you also to all of you who are reading, lurking, enjoying and reviewing. We now leave the game as we know it entirely for the next few chapters, where I hope to fill in gaps from my imagination as to what Anders did in the time between his escape and Awakenings. I hope you all realise that BioWare owns and I just play with their amazing characters, places and other sandpits that I may fall into …
I looked back at the house; it looked so "normal." There were curtains in the windows as well as the smell of fresh bread, cinnamon and apple—pie! That was it— my feet seemed to move on their own accord toward the open doorway. I still didn't feel threatened, in fact, quite the opposite. I felt welcomed and something drew me in. At that point, even if I wanted to, I doubt I could have stopped myself. On reaching the door, I knocked on the framework and waited.
"Come in."
My heart stopped, the voice was familiar, soft, gentle and knowing. I hesitated, unsure of myself, yet everything seemed so "right." I was unable to stop from crossing the threshold and entering.
The room was bright and airy and the smells even stronger and my stomach rumbled in anticipation. A pot of steaming tea sat on a table in the centre of the room. The cups, saucers and plates were set out, and fresh bread, cold meats and the much anticipated apple pie sat proudly in the centre. Through another door at the back of the room, I could see a bed and another curtained window. To the right of the bedroom door were a set of steps leading to a mezzanine floor above. Whatever held there wasout of sight.
From the bedroom, I sensed movement. When I saw a figure silhouetted in the doorway, I stiffened I couldn't see who it was. The figure was lit from behind, hiding the figure's gender. I stayed still, waiting for the figure to approach. My magic was building and electricity sparkled at my fingertips, ready to protect myself should the figure become threatening.
A gentle laugh came from the figure, causing me to pause and blush in embarrassment. I wondered if I was acting paranoid when the figure said, "It's ok, I understand. I mean you no harm. You have nothing to fear from me."
"Oh." I snapped, feeling silly, "and I'm supposed to trust you on your word alone, am I?"
"No," said the voice. "You have nothing to fear from me because we are the same, boy."
The figure's hand raised slowly and opened. In the palm swirled a mini snowstorm, precisely held and mesmerising to watch. With a flick of the wrist it disappeared and the arm dropped back to the figure's side. I blinked, tried to calm my breathing, watching the last of the mini snowflakes melt into nothing, trying to think of something to say.
"Who are you?" I demanded at last.
The figure took a couple of steps into the room and I saw a woman, slightly smaller in stature than I, toned from hard work, but feminine in every way. Another step and I saw thick black hair, cut short and swept to one side. After another step, her face lit up and revealed deep blue eyes, clear tanned skin and a smile. I felt I should know this woman; she seemed so familiar. She was definitely older than me but her age was indiscernible, she could have been anything from thirty to sixty— I couldn't be sure.
She was not in the least bit embarrassed by my scrutiny, I was not surprised to find myself undergoing the same treatment. Eventually our eyes met and I had the feeling I should know her, I did know her, but for the life of me, I couldn't place her.
She continued to smile and waved her hand towards the table saying, "Please let's sit and have something to eat. We can talk at leisure whilst we do so."
She sat in the nearest chair and I followed her example, sitting opposite from her. She poured the tea and indicated a pot of honey, lemon wedges and milk which I understood to mean "help yourself."
I poured honey and a spot of milk into my tea, she cut the bread and passed some to me on a plate, which I graciously accepted and then filled mine with chicken and ham. I spread some creamy butter onto the thickly sliced bread, still warm from the oven. The simple fare was delicious, the tea just right and I was content to eat in silence, happy to just enjoy what had been offered.
She watched me as she ate. Questions started eating away at me, needing to be asked.
"Thank you for your hospitality," I began, "and I truly don't mean to be rude but, who are you?"
She smiled at me. "No offence taken. I think if I were in your shoes I'd be full of questions as well. My name is Rosalie. Before you ask, I knew your kin in Highever. I knew your mother before you were born. We grew up together."
Taking one look at my complete amazement, she laughed out loud and gently put a finger under my chin and closed my mouth. It must have fallen open at some point. I swallowed and tried not to choke when I realised that I had a mouth full of food.
"You knew my Ma and Pa?" I whispered. "You saw them in Highever? When? How long ago? Are they safe? How are Brett and Brina? Whe..."
She held up her hand laughing and said "Calm yourself, I'll answer all your questions in time. What are you called these days? I was told that when you handed yourself over to the Circle you did not give your birth name."
"No, I told them my name was Anders. It was a nickname my friends gave me when I was young. Made sense at the time and it kinda stuck. I also told them my family had died on the road and that I had heard about the trouble at the farm and went to help." I all but whispered and my heart contracted painfully in my chest as I remembered.
"That saved your family. The templars weren't able to identify you and in doing so, it gave your family time to get their affairs in order and leave before anyone could figure it out," she explained. "You saved a lot of lives that day. Never forget that. You gave up a great deal as a result. It was a totally unselfish act and you should feel proud of yourself. Your parents were devastated when you were taken, but so proud of the sacrifice you made that day. You've been missed more than you know, Anders. More than you know. "
I looked at her and realised she was being sincere and not just trying to make me feel good. Then it hit me—they'd gone and weren't in Highever any longer. Fighting back the tears of frustration, I decided to give voice to my questions. I needed to know, for good or for bad.
"If they're not in Highever, where are they? Where did they go?" I asked as tears threatened to overflow and my emotions swirled, nearly overcoming me.
Rosalie smiled at me, her eyes filled with sympathy, kindness and pride. "Stay yourself Anders, be calm. All will be revealed in time. I will tell you all you need to know.
"You know full well that not everyone is like the Teryn of Highever. Not every town, village or hamlet is as accepting of mages. Not all people accept mages without fear or malice. There are other villages like Grayson and others like the Teryn who are tolerant of mages and protect them. They are able to keep them safe, and nurture their gifts. They are spread all across Thedas. There are a number of towns and villages in Ferelden where mages are accepted and their gifts welcomed and used without rancour or fear.
"There are others like me who work with the Mages Collective, templars and even Chantry members to keep mages safe and transport them to villages where they will be protected and can live in peace. We are constantly working to enlighten others, to lift the fear of mages. It is a long process and enlightenment will not happen overnight. It has been going on for many years and it will be many years before we see any major changes I'm sure.
For now you need to rest, regain your strength and trust us. For we will protect you."
I looked at her trying to make sense of everything she had said, what that meant for me and those like us. She was like me, she knew my mother, my family. She knew me. My mind began to whirl in excitement and confusion. She smiled, knowing what was going through me,yet letting me digest it. Realisation hit me, for now at least, I was home.
