I'm so sorry for the ridiculous delay between chapters. I've been ill and insanely, unexpectedly busy, and to make matters worse,
Dandelionward just wouldn't speak to me. This was supposed to be his chance to speak up. He did finally come around though, so
we'll see into his head a little bit toward the end. Anyway, enjoy! I'm aiming to get back to my usual once or twice weekly updating
schedule now :)

~ oOo ~

Summary: Maybe we were fooling ourselves, thinking we'd make it. In some respects, we have. We've created a comfortable life for ourselves and our beautiful children. If nothing else, they'll be our legacy. Proof that although we weren't destined to be together forever, we were always meant to create something worthwhile. Our love story is the same as many others. It was never meant to last.

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the recognisable characters; those are all Stephenie Meyer's.

No copyright infringement is intended.

Dandelions

Enjoy Any Time Of Truce

September 26th, 2018…

"Mama!"

Rolling my eyes, I suck in a deep breath and head out into the hall so I don't have to yell back. "Yes, Dillan?"

He peers back at me from the top of the stairs, still dressed in the Spiderman costume I asked him to take off at least an hour ago. "Jace can't find his bag."

Mother of— "I'll be up in a minute. Now can you please get changed. We've got to be out the door in ten minutes or I'll be late dropping you with your dad."

"'Kay." He disappears, hopefully to get changed, which gives me a moment to straighten myself out and take another calming breath. It's been one of those days. So far nothing has gone right; I burnt the kids' toast this morning so they had Pop Tarts for breakfast in the car on the way to school and nursery, in the wake of the burnt toast fiasco I forgot to pack my extra camera batteries so I had to comp my first client a free follow-up session when my camera died halfway through the session, and Jace lashed out at his teaching assistant so he's made us all absolutely miserable since being home, because if he can't have his iPad, why should anyone else be happy?

Like I said—one of those days.

By the time I make it up the stairs, the damn Spiderman costume is on the landing and Dillan is tugging a hoodie over his head. He's still sans pants, but hey, I'll class it as a win. It's taken forty-odd minutes to get this far.

"I've got my bag all packed, Mom," Dillan tells me cheerfully once he's straightened out his hoodie.

"Great, thank you, sweetie." Planting a kiss on his head, I direct him toward his room. "Put some pants on, grab your bag, and I'll meet you downstairs just as soon as I've got your brother and sister sorted."

"Cool."

Cool. It's Dillan's favorite word at the moment. It's possible that it's slightly driving me toward insanity today.

"Where are you, Jace?"

"In Sadie's room!"

"Of course," I mumble. "Because where else would your bag be but in your sister's room?"

It's possible my terrible mood is also down to my nerves over seeing Edward today. After he ignored my calls on Sunday and, apparently, couldn't find the time to call me back, I finally got through to him on Monday. We spoke through his lunch break until my first client of the afternoon arrived at the studio. I feel like we made some headway in moving forward as co-parents, but I have no idea how I'll feel when I see him face-to-face in a couple of hours. I don't have to try very hard to remember the brush of his stubble over my skin or the wicked look in his eyes as he pushed me into the hotel mattress—none of which are appropriate thoughts to be having when I walk into my daughter's room and find her hanging off her bed upside-down, what seems like the entire contents of her dresser and wardrobe strewn across the floor.

"Sadie...what on Earth have you been doing in here?"

Beaming toothily, she admits, "Making a mess, Mama. I was lookin' for my purple dress and I can't find it."

"I can see you've been making a mess, baby." With a sigh and a long look at the ceiling to stifle the scream lodged in my throat, I count to five in my head before facing Sadie again. "It's too late to tidy this all up before we go to the hairdresser, so can you please just grab your bag for Daddy's and get your little butt downstairs?"

"All right, Mama." Sadie thankfully does as she told. She hops down from her bed, scoops her mini rucksack from the floor, and dances out of the room calling for Dillan.

Peering around, I spot Jace buried in his sister's extensive teddy pile. His little head pokes out from between Tigger and Doc McStuffins. "Jace, sweetheart, it's time to go."

"Don't want to."

Great.

"Come on, baby. The sooner we go, the sooner you can get to your dad's. He's got a sur...er, a present for you all, remember?" I catch myself before I can say 'surprise', knowing that's definitely not the way to persuade Jace. Dillan and Sadie, sure. But my eldest...definitely not a fan of surprises whether they're good ones or bad.

He lifts up a little, his narrowed eyes hurting my heart. I know it upsets him to have his iPad time taken away, but no child of mine is going to get away with spitting. He knows full-well that it's wrong and what the consequences will be, too, so if I don't follow through it hurts every bit of trust and every ounce of respect we've built up between us. "What's the present? Do you know?"

"No, baby," I tell him as I cross the room and sit on Sadie's pink beanbag, reaching out to smooth his hair away from his eyes. It's definitely time for a haircut. "Your dad hasn't told me what it is. He wants you three to be the first to see it."

"Okay. Are we going straight there?"

Here we go. "We're going to see the hairdresser first, remember? You don't have to have your hair cut if you don't want to, but it would make me really happy if you'd give it a try."

"I'll try for you, Mama," he promises, a little of the light returning to his eyes. "If you let me have my iPad."

My lips curl up into a wry smile. "Nice try, buddy, but no dice. You know the rules. If you're good at your dad's and you behave at school tomorrow, you can have your iPad when you get home."

Jace is a good kid at heart, and he knows as well as I do that I won't cave, so he offers me a grin and wiggles his way free of all the plushies to follow me next-door to his bedroom. The bag he tells me he's adamant he couldn't find is exactly where I told him it was. Rather than be frustrated, I fold the spare t-shirt and hoodie he passes me before packing them with the book he needs to read this week for school and his fidget cube. The cube is an absolute godsend when he can't have his iPad. I'm hoping it'll come in handy when I try to talk him into the hairdresser's chair.

~ i ~

Pulling up outside the address Rosalie sent me, I double check to make sure we're at the right place before turning to face the backseat. Sadie's engrossed in an episode of Doc McStuffins on her tablet and Jace is leaning as far as his car seat allows to be able to watch over her shoulder. On her other side, Dillan's quite happy playing with his new Rubix cube. He's a little bit obsessed thanks to Carmen introducing him to the toy after the wedding.

"All right, you three. Let's get this show on the road."

As I corral them all into Sam's Barbers, I cross my fingers at Jace's back and pray his antsiness won't make this trip harder than it needs to be. Worst case scenario, he has a meltdown. It wouldn't be unheard of after the day he's already had. Best case...I can talk him into a chair and into having a little trim. His hair is an unruly mop and I know it's driving him as crazy as it is me.

A relaxed young man with bright blue hair welcomes us as we step through the door, a bell chiming above our heads. "Hey there, guys. What can I do for ya?"

"Hi. Uh, we've got an appointment...Cullen?"

His finger runs down the book in front of him on the desk before he taps our name and grins widely. "Right on time. If you wanna take a seat, the boss will be out in just a sec."

As we pass the desk, I see that we've got a little silver star stuck next to the '4pm' slot. I assume it signifies that we've come to see a specific barber; the guy Rosalie's friend raved about often enough that she recommended him to us. Apparently he's brilliant with children with autism or sensory disorders. Rosalie's friend's daughter has been coming to him since she was two years old and hasn't had a bad cut yet, so I'm quietly hopeful.

"Thank you," I murmur, following Jace, Dillan, and Sadie over to the waiting area. I can already see differences between this place and the other hairdressers we've tried. For one, there's a tall bubble lamp that matches the one at home in the boys' room. There's also an abundance of toys for all ages and abilities in the big tubs in the corner, as well as a varied selection of children's books on a set of shelves painted in bright colors. Jace is already entranced by the lamp and we've only been here a couple of minutes, but he's usually on edge and itching to leave by now.

So far, so good.

"Is my four o'clock here, Jude?" A voice calls from the back. 'The boss', I assume.

I smile as blue-haired Jude rolls his eyes and spins in his chair to yell, "Yes! So put the dumbbells down and get your hiney out here!"

It isn't until 'the boss' steps into the doorway, pulling a black t-shirt over his head and mumbling about disrespectful staff, that I realize I vaguely recognize his voice. "If you weren't my brother…"

Our eyes meet across the salon, my smile turning rueful as the tips of his ears redden. "I know you, don't I? I'm Sam. Sam Talley."

"You do," I admit with a light laugh. Rising from the comfortable club chair, I extend my hand to him when he crosses the room and extends a long arm in my direction. "You almost bulldozed me in a bar a few months ago."

"Oh God, I did, didn't I?" As his warm hand drops mine, we both turn to face Jude as he guffaws.

"You almost wiped her out? What the heck, man?"

"Don't you have some homework to do, or something?" Sam asks with an eyebrow raised and his lips pursed.

Jude huffs but admits that he has a science project to complete, then he heads out of the door Sam just came through.

Turning back to me, Sam grins. He's...more handsome than I remember. Straight white teeth in a tanned, clean-shaven face. His blue eyes are vivid and crinkled at the edges thanks to his smile. And true to any barber or hairdresser, his dark blond locks are styled in that artfully messy way only certain guys seem to be able to get away with.

"Bella, right? I remember you because I couldn't believe you'd have such a fitting na—" Cutting himself off, he blows out a breath. "I was going to be insanely cheesy then. Let's just say I remember your name, yeah?"

Snorting a laugh, I nod. "Okay, that suits me fine." A tug on my pants leg makes my smile widen. Sam's eyes follow mine as I peer down at Sadie.

"Can I go first for my haircut, Mama?"

"Sure, sweetheart." Scooping her onto my hip, I find myself wondering what Sam thinks about the fact that I'm here with my three children; wondering if he thinks I came here on purpose to see him.

Wondering if I'd have come here had I known Sam Talley, the guy who flirted with me after almost bulldozing me in a bar back in the summer, is the amazing barber Rosalie's friend has been raving about.

"Sadie, this is Sam."

"Hey there, little one. Well, you have great hair. I don't think we'll need to do much with it to make it look perfect."

The fastest way to Sadie's heart—besides candy, of course—is compliments. She's a sucker for a sweet-talker.

"Thank you! Can I get some blue in my hair, like the other guy?" Turning to me before Sam can answer, although he does stifle a chuckle which I'll choose to ignore for now, she asks, "Mama, can I? I like blue. Or purple!"

"You're a little young for hair dye, baby," I tell her carefully. "Maybe when you're older."

Lifting her little upper lip in a look of pure consternation, Sadie sighs. "When I'm four?"

"Maybe. For now, how about a hair trim, huh?"

All it takes to distract Sadie from her new obsession—dyed hair—is Sam asking whether she wants to wear the princess-print cape or the My Little Pony one. My Little Pony wins, of course, so I take a seat back by the boys while my daughter chatters away to Sam. She's definitely not shy, that one.

A bemused smile remains on my face throughout her time in the chair. Well, right up until she decides it's appropriate to start telling him our life story, anyway.

"...so I get two rooms now 'cause Mama and Daddy don't live together anymore. Isn't that cool?"

"Two rooms, huh?" I hear Sam mumble before his eyes catch mine for a moment. A hot flush spreads over my cheeks. "All right, Miss Sadie. You're all done. What do you think?"

Sadie's too over-the-moon happy with her new 'do and the pretty pink bow he's fastened in the side of her hair to continue down her original train of thought, much to my relief. "I love it, I love it, I love it! Thank you, Mr. Tabby!"

"It's 'Talley', sweetheart," I correct gently as she bounces out of the chair and over to me to show off her hair.

Laughing, Sam waves me off. "Tabby is fine, Bella, it's no problem. Okay, so who's up next?"

Dillan volunteers to go next. He's my fussiest child in terms of what kind of cut he likes. He always changes his mind a thousand times in the lead-up to a haircut, but today he opts for short on the back and sides, long on top. Sam makes his day by offering to style it for him, so by the time Dillan's all done and sauntering back over to me and his siblings, his dark hair is gelled up in a trendy side-sweep. "Don't I look cool?"

"Very cool. Thank Mr….Tabby."

Rolling his eyes at me, the embarrassing mom, Dillan thanks Sam, and then it's time to hold my breath for a moment because Jace knows as well as I do that it's his turn next. Sadie and Dillan are also suspiciously quiet as we all wait for Jace to tear his gaze away from the book in his lap.

"Harry Potter is my favorite book," Sam says softly before I can even open my mouth.

Jace's head pops up. "Who's your favorite wizard?"

Biting the inside of my cheek, I wait for Sam's answer and wonder if it'll determine how willing Jace is to leave his book and get in the chair.

Sam seems to contemplate it for a moment, rubbing his jaw. "I'd have to say...Draco."

Uh oh.

"What? Draco? Why? He's a bad guy!" Jace drops the book, eyeing Sam with suspicion.

Crouching so he's eye-level with my boy, Sam's twinkly-eyed smile seems to relax Jace. "When I was a kid, I had the same color hair as Draco. It was super blond, almost white-blond. My friends used to call me 'Draco' to make fun of me, but I kinda liked it."

"Huh. I guess that's an okay reason."

"Who's your favorite? I bet it's Harry Potter. It's Harry, isn't it?"

Smirking, Jace shakes his head. Sam pretends to look surprised, furrowing his brows and twisting his lips. "Hmm. Ron Weasley?"

"Nope."

"What about...Hermione Granger? She's pretty cool, don't you think?"

"She is cool, but it's not her." Now too excited to sit still, Jace is bouncing on his knees slightly. "It's Cedric Diggory. You know, from Hufflepuff."

"A noble choice," Sam says approvingly. "So, what do you say we go for a Cedric-inspired hair cut today? It's pretty similar to your hair now, just a little shorter."

Well, that sly devil. Jace is more than happy to go along with it now he's put it like that, but I'm surprised to see Sam bringing a small tray of what I soon see are the usual hair cutting essentials over to Jace, rather than the other way around.

"Do you mind if hair gets on his shirt?" he asks quietly after asking Jace to pick out a brush from the selection. They've all got multi-colored handles and appear to be soft-bristled like a baby brush.

"No, that's fine. Hair brushes off easily enough."

"Great." Returning his attention to Jace, Sam asks, "Have you chosen a brush, buddy?"

"Yeah, I like this one." It's blue with red stripes, Jace's two favorite colors. He's never been able to decide on just one.

"That's a solid choice. Red and blue are my favorite colors."

My smile widens as Jace's mouth falls open. "Mine, too!"

Honestly, despite Sam's apparently easygoing nature, I'm expecting Jace to get sick of having his hair cut after approximately five minutes. Instead, he sits happily on a big cushion while Sam cuts his hair quickly but methodically, chatting away the whole time. Jace uses his brush to sweep away any hair that falls onto his arms, which is usually the first thing that triggers him. He can't tolerate wearing a cape like most hairdressers insist upon, but he also hates having hair falling all over him. This solution, giving him even just a little control over the situation, relaxes him.

When, halfway through, Jace decides he wants to look out of the window, I worry Sam will get frustrated. He simply nods and moves with him, asking Jace what he can see as he continues to cut the longer sections of his hair. It's admirable, really. There's no way I'd be able to cut hair with Jace moving around like he is, but Sam doesn't seem phased in the slightest.

"Mama, look at this! There's a little Jay, and Dill, and me!" Sadie cries, holding up three small plastic figures. She's right—they do look like her and her brothers.

"That's great, sweetie," I reply distractedly, shooting her a smile before returning my attention to Jace. He's fidgeting but tolerating Sam's scissors and comb. It's a step forward. A big one for my nervous boy. Accepting that he's okay for the moment, and feeling guilty for paying him more mind than his siblings as I so often have to, I slip from my seat and kneel beside Sadie and the miniature dolls house instead. She beams at me, offering me the mom doll, and resumes playing. With the power that only she possesses, as the younger sister and baby of the family, Sadie manages to talk Dillan into joining us, too. It's sweet. I'm at ease with Jace in Sam's capable hands, content in the knowledge that he's comfortable.

"There you go, buddy. All done. What do you say, you want to look in the mirror?"

Jace is all done in record time with no kicking off or whining. I'm delighted—and so, so relieved. Pulling myself up off the floor, I'm in time to see Jace and Sam sharing broad smiles. My heart aches at the sight of my boy so happy; he's visibly proud of himself for sticking it out, and so am I.

"Sure." Jace sets down his brush and follows Sam over to one of the mirrors in front of the chairs, his face lighting up in a grin as he twists his head this way and that. "It looks just like Cedric!"

"It sure does," Sam agrees, shooting me a wink when I can't stifle my laugh. "I'm glad you like it."

"Look, Dill!" Jace rushes over to his brother to show off his hair, leaving me to pay up.

"Thank you," I murmur as Sam and I reach the desk, my throat thick. Having Jace's hair cut has always been so stressful. Sam took the anxiety out of what is usually a meltdown-inducing experience. "I've taken him to every hair place in Eastbourne as well as a bunch further afield and we've never had such a calm hair cut." Gazing back at my children playing in the corner, I manage to hold back the unexpected rush of tears. "You're a miracle worker, Sam. Really, thank you."

A large hand holding a few tissues appears in front of my eyes. Blinking up at him, I whisper my thanks and use the tissues to dry my eyes. I'd be emabarrassed if it weren't for his soft smile and understanding blue eyes. "You're welcome. And you don't need to be embarrassed. My niece, she's on the spectrum."

Reaching toward the corkboard on the wall beside the desk, he points to a photo of himself and a little girl with his blue eyes. "It's because of Kristen that I realized the traditional way of cutting hair wasn't going to work for everyone. Anyway, long story short, I have a lot of people calling up because their children need a little something extra, or something less, to help them out. I know it's a big deal when your child manages to make it through a cut without getting upset."

"So you have a lot of overwhelmed moms crying on your shoulder, I suppose?" I tease, knowing it's true because his ears flush pink again. If that isn't the most adorable thing...a grown man who blushes.

"I uh, well that's not, not entirely true—"

"Sam, I'm kidding, I'm kidding." Well, sort of.

"Mama, we gotta go so we can get to Daddy's on time," Sadie insists, tugging the hem of my sweater. "Can we get apple pie on the way?"

"Sure, sweetie, we can get apple pies. Round up your brothers, please, and then we can go." While Sadie drags Jace and Dillan away from the toys, I pull out my purse. "How much do I owe—"

Sam's hand covers mine. "It's on the house, Bella. Don't even think about it."

"Oh, no, I couldn't—"

"Seriously, it's on me." A flash of something appears in his eyes before the corners of his mouth twitch up into an almost smile. "Tell you what, I'll even throw in a drink. I won't even bulldoze you first this time."

"Sam, I…"

"C'mon, Mama, I wanna go see Daddy!" Sadie's back with her brothers in tow before I can argue...not that I'm even a hundred percent sure I would. I mean, I should. I should be arguing. I shouldn't even be considering accepting Sam's offer of taking me for a drink. But I am.

Edward and I...I don't know if there even is an 'Edward and I' anymore. Not after what happened at the weekend. My emotions are all over the place and I still don't know how I'm going to feel when I see him in just a little while.

"Think about it, okay? That's all I'm asking. Just...think about it." Sam slides a card from the holder on the desk, pressing it into my hand with a look in his eyes that tells me he might be figuring out where my hesitation comes from. "You know where to find me."

I don't have time to stand and argue, so I thank him instead and wrangle my children out into the car. As we pull away, I can't help but look up at the eyes I can feel following me. Sam offers me a little wave and a grin; one I bashfully return before backing out of the parking lot and heading toward Old Town.

Toward Edward.

~ i ~

Edward

"Daddy!"

Finally.

"Princess, c'mere!"

There's no feeling like having my babies in my arms after four days of not seeing them. It's been months since I moved out but I'll never get used to having to go days between squeezy hugs from my princess and goofy grins from my boys. That part of this separation never gets easier.

"I missed you, Daddy," Sadie tells me solemnly, cupping my face between her tiny hands and pursing her lips.

God, I missed you, princess. "I missed you, too, Sadiebug."

Dillan and Jace race out of the car to join their sister, slamming into me like wrecking balls. "Whoa, guys, careful!" I can't help but laugh even as all four of us almost topple over on the street outside my office.

"Look, Dad, we got haircuts!" Dillan crows, pulling back to show off his new cut. I grin, snapping my hand back when he throws me a disgusted look for even attempting to ruffle his new 'do. He looks older. It's as scary as it is neat to see my boy growing up before my very eyes.

"You look great, son. Very cool. Did you two get new haircuts, too?"

"Yep, look at my bow, Daddy."

Even while I'm fussing over Sadie's pink bow, I can't help but glance at Jace. A bolt of surprise shoots through my veins when I realize his hair is different, too. Not in the slightly haphazard, rushed way his haircuts often turn out, either.

"And you, Jay?"

My eyes briefly slide over to Bella as she leans against the hood of her car. The proud smile on her face mirrors the one on Jace's as I refocus on him. "I got my hair cut, too. Sam did a really good job. He was super nice, too. He let me look out the window and brush my arms instead of making me sit on the chair in front of the mirror."

"That's awesome, Jay! I'm so proud of you." Tugging him over, I give him a good, solid hug before grabbing Dillan, too. "I'm proud of all of you. My brilliant babies."

"Can we go inside and see your office?"

"Not today, pal." Standing, I unlock my car with the fob. It's parked right beside Bella's, so they can hop right in. "Jump in, guys, and I'll come buckle you up in a second. I just want to talk to your mom quickly."

"'Kay, Daddy."

It's easy to smile as I watch the kids hugging and kissing their mom ready for a night with me. Until I look at Bella's face, anyway. She's wearing the same expression I guess I wear when this is the other way around. I know I don't look happy when I drop them back with her, and she doesn't look thrilled right now. Or even a little happy, actually. But she tries—we both do.

"Have fun with Daddy, okay? I'll see you tomorrow right after school."

"Be good, Mama," Sadie warns before giggles burst out of her little body.

"Oh, you…" Bella laughs, peppering her face and hair with kisses before sighing deeply and carrying her to the backseat of my car. Jace and Dillan have already accepted being smothered in smooches, so they clamber in ahead of their sister. By the time Bella's blown them all one last kiss each, closed the door, and rejoined me on the sidewalk, I've just managed to remember what I wanted to talk to her about.

"So, uh...how are you?"

"I'm good, everything's good." Glancing at her watch, she offers me an apologetic wince. "I'm sorry, the traffic...I know we're a little late."

"It's fine, don't worry. I was last here anyway, so I just waited inside until I saw your car pull in." Now for the bit I'm nervous about. "So, my boss...his dog had a litter of puppies a while back. Labradors?"

"Oh, really?" I can see from the look on her face that she's wondering why I'm bringing this up. It hasn't clicked—yet. "That's cool. Did you have labs growing up?"

"Yeah, we did. Two." Remembering our placid yellow labradors, Molly and Mitzy, still makes me smile over twenty years after they passed. "Bella, I probably should have talked to yo—"

The sudden, too-loud ringing of her cell cuts me off. Forcing a smile I don't feel, I gesture for her to get it.

"Sorry, I'll be quick." She tells me, answering the phone with a cheery greeting for whoever's on the other end of the line.

Twisting my wedding ring around my finger absentmindedly, I can't help but grin at the thought of the kids' faces when I get them home. They're gonna be so happy with their gift. I put a lot of thought into it but in the end, their guaranteed happiness won over the slight impracticality. It'll be great. I can't wait to see their smiles when they walk through the door in a little bit.

"All right, Alex, calm down. It's fine, I can be there in ten minutes. Of course. It's no problem, really. Just call and let them know I'm on my way. I'll see you later." Turning back to me, Bella's already edging toward her car. "I'm sorry, Edward, can this wait? AJ's sick at after-school club but Nessa and Alex are both stuck at work."

Great. "No, that's fine, go on. Give the little guy a hug from me, all right?"

"Sure. Thank you. We'll talk later, okay? Or...tomorrow, why don't you come for dinner? The children will love it."

When we talked on Monday, we agreed that the children can only benefit from seeing us getting along. We've made plans to take them on our annual London Zoo trip for Halloween, so why not go to dinner? I'm free tomorrow, anyway. "That'd be good. I'll bring dessert."

She's not even really listening at this point, already halfway in the car, but Bella waves distractedly and calls an agreement before taking off.

Okay, so I guess she'll find out about the kids' gift tomorrow, then. That's fine. She's gonna love it, anyway.

~ i ~

"You got them a what?"

All right, so maybe she doesn't love it.

Bella's hands find their way into her hair—something I'd find funny in other circumstances because it's a gesture she's picked up from me. "I can't believe you...Edward, don't you think this is something we should have talked about?"

"I tried!" I point out. "I tried to tell you yesterday."

My mistake is immediately obvious, though. Her eyes widen and her mouth falls open. "Yester...you'd already bought it then! It would have been too late even if I had said no!"

So, that's true. Shit.

"Bella, look...it's not that bad. The kids love—"

"Mama, look!" Sadie squeals from the backyard, the open patio doors letting her voice inside.

Sucking in a deep breath, Bella slowly turns to look out at the children playing with their new present. I can't see her face, but I do hear her quiet laugh when she spots the eight-week-old chocolate lab rolling around the grass with Jace. The kids voted last night after their initial excitement when they got home and found him in his little bed in the living room. The final choice was between Button and Rolo, and Rolo was the winner by majority vote.

"A puppy is a huge commitment, Edward," Bella finally breaths, turning back to me with defeat all over her face. She knows as well as I do that there's no taking that puppy away from Jace, Dillan, and Sadie now. I was sort of banking on that, to be honest, as awful as it sounds. "What are you going to do with him when you're working all day?"

"Well, that was actually what I wanted to talk to you about…"

"Oh, no." My lips curl into a grin as she takes a step back and raises her hands. "No way. You want me to have him?"

"I figure he can stay with the kids. When you have them, he's with you, and when I have them, he comes along, too. It's the perfect solution!"

"Oh, sure, because he'll be a great addition to my studio when I have to lug him with me to take pictures of people's newborns, or when I've got to do the school and nursery run twice in a day as well as going to the studio in between. I can't...God, Edward. I can't believe you'd do something like this without even consulting me."

In hindsight, keeping Bella in the dark until it was too late to do anything about it probably wasn't my best or brightest idea, but like I said before, I was sort of counting on the kids falling in love with the little furball before Bella could say 'no'. I'm well aware that they find my apartment boring compared to their home with all their toys, a big backyard…I'm hoping that Rolo, who'll come backward and forward with them, will sweeten the deal. They can't bring their bedrooms and all their toys with them to my place, but they can bring their new best friend. That's the hope, anyway. I just need Bella to agree.

Jace, Dillan, Sadie, and Rolo come clattering onto the house before Bella can chew me out like I suspect she wants to.

"Mama, look. He already knows how to sit!" Dillan tells her proudly, facing the pup before saying 'sit!' To his credit, Rolo does sit—before tumbling over sideways trying to chew his rear paw.

"See? He's real well behaved, Mama," Jace tells her, scooping Rolo into his arms. "Can he stay? We'll help look after him. You'll barely have to do anything."

I plaster an innocent smile on my face and mentally cross everything that Bella will forget her annoyance at me and focus on how happy the kids are. I watch with bated breath as she looks at them, pausing on Jace kissing the puppy's shiny brown nose before landing on me. Her narrowed eyes last barely a few seconds before she rolls them, throwing her hands in the air.

"Fine. He can stay. But the first time he pees in my house or chews up one of my shoes, he's going to live with your dad as he's the one who bought him. Deal?"

"Deal! Thanks, Mama. Love you!" If she hadn't already given in, the hugs and kisses the children rain over her would do the trick. To be honest, the sight of them so happy makes me a bit mushy. All I ever want for my babies is for them to be happy and healthy.

"C'mon, Rolo," Sadie sings, "let's get you some snacks. Daddy, where's Rolo's snacks?"

"In the bag by the front door, princess."

Jace puts Rolo down and then the little gang of four trail out into the hall to dig through the bag of stuff I picked up from the pet store before collecting Rolo yesterday lunchtime, which leaves me with a still-mad but thawing Bella.

"I really am sorry, Bella. I should have talked it through with you before making such a big decision." My apology is genuine, and I guess she can see that, because she rolls her eyes again but her smile widens.

"It's okay. Just...no more pets, please. I think we have enough going on right now without adding more to our plates, hmm?"

It's so, so hard to withhold my smirk, but I just about manage. "All right. So, truce?"

Laughing softly, her eyes bright and her face split in a wide smile that makes my chest ache, Bella agrees. "Truce."

~ i ~

"Sleep tight, buddy."

"Night, Daddy—yawn—love you."

Stroking Dillan's hair away from his face, I grin and lean down to press a kiss to his forehead. He's already out when I pull back and whisper love you, too into the quiet room. After checking on Jace—who's also out like a light—I sneak from the room and head downstairs. Bella's still in the kitchen where I left her, but she's left the breakfast bar and has her back to me as she washes up.

The nostalgia hits me unexpectedly hard. This scene...me tucking the children into bed while she gets started on the dishes so we can relax and watch TV together, it's familiar but not. The last couple of years of me being here, it wasn't like this. More often than not I wasn't even here when the kids went to bed; I'd stumble home drunk a few hours later once Bella had done all the hard work. But the first year of having our babies home was perfect. We were so happy, so tired but content with the three children we'd longed for.

Then I fucked it all up.

My long sigh alerts Bella to my return. She shoots me a small smile over her shoulder. "Hey. Did they all go down okay?"

"Yeah," I say softly, bypassing the stools to pick up a towel so I can dry the dishes as Bella washes. "Sadie wanted another story, so she got two. The boys were fine, though. They were all knackered, anyway."

Humming, Bella shakes her head. "That'll be running around after the puppy."

My lips curl into a little grin as I look over at Rolo snuggled up in his bed in the corner, legs in the air and the tip of his pink tongue poking out. He's a sweet little thing; the kids love him, just like I hoped they would. "I think you're right."

We wash and dry in comfortable silence for a bit before Bella finally stops and looks up at me with furrowed brows. "Why did you do it? Saturday night, I mean."

And...my mind goes blank. Well, not blank, exactly, but there's nothing in there I want to verbalize to Bella.

Memories of Saturday night flow through my mind in a heady rush. She was stunning even in just a simple knitted dress and boots, but out of them? Bella's never been more beautiful. She was always a pretty girl but as a woman, a mother, my growing respect for her only makes her more attractive. Without an almost constant flow of alcohol through my veins, I'm remembering all the things that I loved the most about Bella. And with the fresh reminder of how great we are together, I find it difficult to work out why she even needs to ask why. I know she enjoyed Saturday night as much as I did; she's no actor. I may have instigated it, but she was a more-than-willing participant.

Still, that doesn't mean it was a good idea. Shit, I know it wasn't. Sex always complicates things, especially in our situation.

"Bella, I…" Sighing and raking a hand through my hair, I set the towel down and try to gather my thoughts. "Saturday night was amazing. The whole day was. But we shouldn't...we're still figuring all this out. And I—"

I stop myself before I can go any further. I've been doing well. My life is slowly coming together and piece-by-piece, I'm putting everything back in order. The steps I've had to take have been steep. I want her to be proud of me. Perhaps foolishly, I want to wait until I have more to show for my recent efforts than just empty words. She's heard it all before, I know. I've told her a hundred times that I'll do better, be better, and look where we've ended up.

I want to be the man she deserves. I want to be the man worthy of her love and respect; the one she married and wanted to have children with because she believed I'd be a good husband and father. I haven't been that man for a long time, but I'm determined to become him again.

Eyes downcast, Bella chews her lip. "It wasn't a good idea, doing what we did. We'd both had too much to drink and weddings, they're emotional. I didn't think putting labels on what we are now was a good idea at first, but maybe we should. Maybe we need to have that talk and either call it quits for good or try…"

The thought of calling it quits, of marking this as the end, kills me. A lump lodges itself in my throat and my stomach rolls, Bella's chicken parm almost making its way back up and out. "Do you—" Clearing my throat, I try again. "Do you want that? To call it quits?"

Here we are. On the cusp of something big, something important. We're not always good at communicating, Bella and I. Now I realize why. It's hard. I'm terrified of her answer. Tears glisten on her lashes as she looks up at me with her brows still furrowed and her lip between her teeth.

She's beautiful. Big brown eyes and, when I'm not being an ass, a smile that absolutely wrecks me in all the best ways. Kind, caring, funny, and the best mother to our children I could ever have asked for.

God, I've been a fool. An absolute idiot. I don't deserve her, not even a little. But I'm determined to try and earn her trust.

"I don't think we can ever call it quits, can we? I mean, it's us."

Anything I might have wanted to say dies in my throat, because that isn't what I expected her to say.

"But, Edward, we can't keep doing this. We need to figure this out. We can't keep messing with each other's heads the way we have been."

Nodding and attempting to find words, I tug my hair and blink away a sudden onslaught of tears. I'm not a crier, not usually, but recently...I've been more in touch with my emotions, less influenced by alcohol. Aside from the wedding, I haven't been drinking. It's been hard but my family is worth fighting for. They're worth everything.

"I agree," I finally manage. "I've messed up, but I want to be better, Bella. I want to be the man you fell in love with. I want to be the guy you can count on rather than the dead weight you have to put up with."

Sniffling, she smiles. "We've both messed up along the way, Edward. And we've both apologized. It's time to move forward and just...enjoy any time of truce, right? Let's not jump into anything, but we can at least agree that this isn't the end and we're both working on ourselves."

"That sounds pretty perfect, actually." I want to tell her everything—everything I've been doing to better myself for her and for our kids. It's not the right time, though. After all my empty promises, she'll need proof, and that's just fine. I can wait.

I just hope she can, too.


If you haven't already checked it out, I posted my FAGE (Fic Awesome Gift Exchange) piece for EternallyCullen today! Winds Of Change is up and complete on my profile, so if you like Veterinarianwards and single-mom Bellas, check it out ;)