It was a long and dreary day. I picked up a book off Effie's bookshelf entitled, "Me Before You" by Jojo Moyes. It seemed light hearted. I wasn't much of a reader, but if I was going to sit in the house all day, I might as well find a way to preoccupy myself. I read for two hours, when they finally arrived home. As soon as Peeta walked in, I ran at him and embraced him tightly, "I missed you," I whispered. He smiled and held me close, "I missed you too!"
Effie smiled at us, "Peeta is a very brave, young man Katniss. There was an ex-capitol supporter who was sort of like the crazy one who wanted to shoot you. He wanted more food than I could give him, so he started attacking me, and threatening me. Peeta saw what was going on, ran up to the guy, and punched him in the face. I think the guy was drunk, poor fellow. He went out cold instantly." I smiled, "You did that? For Effie?" Peeta shrugged and released me, "I had to do something." I kissed his cheek and snuggled into his chest.
Then I remembered why we were here, "I had an interesting visit with President Paylor this morning." Peeta looked ashamed immediately and whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to force you into anything, but she wanted to see you, regardless. I take it you still said no?" I nodded and sighed, "I'm sorry. I just don't feel like I'm fit to run a country! I can't do the speeches and I'm no good at saving people." Peeta shook his head, "That's where you're wrong. You saved me."
I blushed as Gale came in and I hid my face in Peeta's chest as I sighed happily, "I'm just so glad to have you home." I stood there for maybe too long and Gale cleared his throat, "Peeta…you said you want to practice defending yourself?" He nodded and my head snapped up, "You did?!" I didn't know if I liked that. I didn't want him getting hurt. I felt overly protective of him all of a sudden. I shook my head, "No! There's no reason for him to! He's protected himself perfectly fine. He did so for two lots of Hunger Games!"
Gale rolled his eyes, "Forgive me Katniss, but that was mostly you protecting him. Remember? In the first lot, he got his leg almost torn off, and in round two a force shield nearly killed him. Besides, it's his decision." Peeta released me, "Yeah, it is, Katniss." I scowled, "Ok, well with what weapons? And what targets? It's not like we have the equipment we had to train in the arena with." Gale responded, "We'll aim swords and arrows at a tree. I have a stash left over from the war."
I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Fine, but I'm coming to watch." Gale huffed irritably and I followed them outside. It was mostly sword fighting and throwing arrows as he said. I jumped off the steps of the main house when there was a knock on the back door. It was Johanna! Her hair had grown back slightly, and she smiled at me. I went over to her and she embraced me, "The girl on fire is alive! Congratulations." I laughed as I shook my head, "Sometimes, I think it would be easier if I wasn't." She nodded and smirked, "I know the feeling."
She glanced over at the boys who were currently sword-fighting and she shook her head, "Will they ever put down those toys?" I shook my head, "I don't think so," and she went over to them to greet them, "Gale! Peeta!" They stopped mid fight and turned to look at her. A smile spread across Peeta's face and he hugged her instantly, "Johanna! You're looking so much better!" She kissed both his cheeks and even though it was a small action, I began to feel slightly jealous. She grinned at him, "As are you. In fact, you're looking so good I could sleep with you." My eyes bugged wide and Peeta shook his head with a wide grin on his face, "Unfortunately for you, that's never going to happen." She frowned and asked in surprised, "Oh…why would that be?" Peeta grinned at her and said proudly, "Well, Katniss and I are engaged!"
She turned to me and rolled her eyes, "No surprises there! Congrats lovebirds!" I liked Johanna, but she knew how to make me feel uncomfortable and where to poke my buttons. The memory of her undressing in the capitol lift came back to me and I felt so uncomfortable thinking about it. I went to go and stand beside Peeta, taking his hand in mine to prove a point as I said bluntly, "Thanks, Johanna." It could have been interpreted as rude, but I didn't care. She was wearing a shirt that revealed too much. It was what Peeta might think of as being 'sexy.' The middle came way too low and I caught him staring there once or twice. As if that wasn't bad enough, she wore too tight shorts also.
Johanna stayed for dinner and once I had gotten over my insecurities, it was quite nice speaking to her. She spoke about how she was doing well and how she was living in a house around the corner from us. However, I couldn't help noticing that she kept casting side long glances at Peeta. It didn't like it. It set me on edge. I responded when I was spoken to, but otherwise kept my thoughts to myself. Haymitch was unusually quiet too and I had a feeling they were hiding something from me.
When dinner ended, I offered to wash up the dishes, and so did Johanna. I frowned-she was a guest, but I went with it. We washed in silence for a bit before Johanna said, "You know…I'm really impressed that after everything you made it out alive." I laughed, "You're not the first person to tell me that." She frowned, "Oh, who was?" I replied, "My mother." She was quiet and shook her head, "Thank you, Katniss, for having faith in Peeta. If it weren't for that, I might still be there. Stuck in the dungeons with him." I cringed and shook my head, "I'm glad you made it out of there. I thought for sure Snow would find out before it was too late." Johanna nodded, "He did though, didn't he?" I nodded in return, "Yes, but he let you go. I think he did because he thought Peeta was too far gone to care about me anymore." My voice hitched and she gave me a funny glance. Then she said abruptly, "Alright, Katniss there's something you need to know and I'm tired of hiding this." I frowned and turned to face her and raised my eyebrow, "Which is?"
Johanna shook her head, "I'm sorry about this. I really am. But I liked Peeta even before we got terrorized together." I frowned, "Yes you liked him. Everyone likes him. What's your point?" She shrugged and turned to face me, "The point is, I've always been attracted to him. Even before all of that. Why do you think I changed in the lift in front of him?" I didn't even have anything to say to that. I felt my heart drop in my chest, hoping she wasn't about to say that he felt the same way.
She must have read the worry etched on my face, "Don't worry, Katniss. He's madly in love with you. He always has been. That's easy to tell. But I do like him. And I'm tired pretending that I don't." I clenched the counter to try and keep myself upright. I didn't believe her. I'd seen the way he had looked at her in the elevator. I hadn't heard a word she said except her liking him. I whispered too easily, "You can have him, then. Anyone is better for him than me. And you two can understand each other." Subconsciously, I began sliding my ring off my finger. I had forgotten to take it off while washing. I placed it on the countertop and she said, "No wait! Katniss…" as I began to walk away. I froze when I heard his voice cracking, "Katniss…"
Peeta's P.O.V:
Katniss swiveled slowly to face me. My jaw dropped as I saw the ring I'd given her lying on the counter. She looked caved in, like she'd given up. I ran to her and took her hand, "Wha-…" I shook my head and turned her to face me. She was…crying. I'd never seen her cry. Maybe that one time when I'd hit the force shield and Finnick had saved my life. And she thought I was dead. But now she shook her head as angry tears gushed down her face.
I turned to Johanna and stared at her grimly. I'd heard the last snippets of what she'd said to Katniss. Something along the lines of "I'm tired of pretending I can't…" I asked her firmly, "What did you say to her?" Johanna shook her head, "I didn't say much." I rolled my eyes, grabbed the ring and pulled Katniss outside. I pulled her into our lodging and asked, "Katniss…tell me what please, what did she say?" Katniss couldn't even look at me as she turned her back to me and went to go and get tissue paper in the small bathroom.
When she came back, she whispered, "Johanna…has feelings for you." I immediately grew angry about that. Johanna had told me before the Quarter Quell how she felt, even in front of Katniss when she'd stripped down. I knew it was pretty obvious and afterwards she had come to me and confirmed my suspicions. I had rejected her immediately, even though she'd started kissing me. Luckily, she'd been wearing clothes at that point, but I pulled away as fast as I could. But Katniss didn't understand these things. Emotionally, she was so young. She wasn't immature, she just wasn't aware of other people's feelings like I was.
I sighed and shook my head, folding my arms, "She told me ages ago Katniss-before we went into the arena. She kissed me once…after the lift incident." Katniss gasped and the girl I loved looked at me so uncertainly and then she stared at the floor. My heart stopped for a second and I continued explaining, "I pulled away instantly though. I don't like her in that way." Katniss mumbled, "But…you're so easy to love. I wouldn't blame her if she wanted you, and vice versa." I rolled my eyes and shook my head, "Katniss…why do you think I proposed to you and not her? I guess now's as good a time as any to tell you something I've kept to myself."
I sighed as I sat down on a plastic chair in the room and she sat down on the bed. I glanced on the floor between us and said, "I've never told you this because I thought it would be weird and I didn't know how you would take it. But anyway, here goes nothing. Before I even gave you the loaf of bread that was meant for the pig, I liked you." Katniss frowned and whispered, "How could you possibly feel that way if you didn't know me?" I shook my head, "I don't know. I could never understand either. But the point is, I have been attracted to you since day one. You were my first crush. And actually now that I think about it, my only crush." She blushed and it was so sweet to watch her become embarrassed about this so I continued, "I used to see you with Gale and got jealous. I used to think every time I saw you two laughing together, 'I'll never stand a chance. You're too good for me.' I think…I could be wrong, but I think you're having similar thoughts about me a lot?" She nodded, looking like she was clinging to my every word. I sighed as I continued, "Then when I found out you were kissing me in the Hunger Games was all an act…it cut me like a knife." She winced and interrupted, "I know…but that's why I'm not good enough…" I shook my head and cut her off, "Just let me finish. And when I suggested that we get to know each other on the victory tour, you weren't willing but you weren't unwilling. You tried, and I thought to myself even then, 'if all we can be is friends, that is good enough for me.' I was kidding myself though. Being friends felt too difficult. We never really had been friends. We went from acquaintances to lovers in a heartbeat. And then we had to put that act on again. And then you suggested that we get engaged, I felt like I couldn't do that to you. It wasn't fair. But we had no other choice. And then when you told me you needed me on the beach in the arena…" I faulted and I shook my head before I glanced up to find her watching me intensely, "It was all I ever needed to hear. I could die happy. It made me less scared to die."
She was watching me so intensely that my heart banged profusely in my chest and I told myself in my head 'get a grip on yourself, Peeta.' I swallowed and I said, "There's one thing I need to know before we finalize this engagement and begin trusting each other properly." She asked warily, "What's that?" I stared into her bright blue eyes before saying heavily, "Was that an act? On the beach? When you said you needed me?" My voice broke on the word "needed," and I felt like kicking myself.
Katniss moved closer to me, and somehow managed to sit on my lap. Her legs went through the empty spaces of the plastic chair as she kissed my lips softly, whispering against them, "It was most definitely not an act." A shiver went down my spine as she continued speaking roughly, "I've always needed you, Peeta, even when I thought I didn't. Why do you think I've fought so hard to keep you alive?" I sighed throatily and felt embarrassed, but then she pressed her lips firmly against my lips. I groaned and next thing I knew, I heard the door slide open. I turned my head around irritably to see who had interrupted us. It was Johanna Mason.
A/N: Hi All! So I know in the books/movies there's not anything going on between Peeta and Johanna. But I remembered the elevator scene and thought it would be fun to write as though there was. At the moment, I don't have anything other than this planned, but it was a way to spark a truly honest conversation between these two. I hope you enjoyed it! Let me know what you think! And thanks so much again for all of the positive comments and feedback! It truly makes my day!
