AN.. I wanted to get this done last night, but it took more
time than hubby was willing to give me. I will warn everyone…
There be lemons ahead… so if you are easily offended, or embarrassed,
You might want to skip this chapter. I tried not to make it all over-
the-top crass. The love is always more important than the sex,
but I do like the lemons. This is my longest chapter thus far.
I hope that you like it. Please, PLEASE tell me what you think.
As Always, SM owns it all, I just borrow them to play.
Chapter 11
Saying the Words
Bella POV
The first thing I noticed was the heat. I was too warm. The heat began to seep into my dreams, turning it from a normal, inconsequential dream (that I'd have awoken with no memory of) into a strange, almost erotic dream of the sun, and the beach, and Jake… especially his naked torso, glistening in the brilliant sunshine. As awareness began flooded my senses, I smiled. The sun was definitely shining, and I could feel his arms around me. I could smell his earthy, woodsy, musky skin. I could hear his gentle snoring, and feel the weight of him against my side.
I sighed deeply, pushing the sheet away from us. His body heat was overwhelming, and almost uncomfortable, but when I tried to pull away, the morning air felt cold against my skin, making me curl against his side. My movement was just enough to stir him. He wrapped his arms more tightly around me, and pressed his lips to my hair.
When I finally opened my eyes, I realized that we were once again in my bed together, and apparently had been all night. I sat up quickly, fully awake, and alert. I was in full-on panic mode. I had visions of Charlie, his service revolver pointed at Jake, threatening his manhood. (which I had yet to enjoy) Jacob pulled me firmly back against his side, his hand cupping the side of my face.
"S'okay." He slurred. "Charlie was up when I carried you into the house. There was a domestic disturbance, and he had to leave. He won't be back until his shift is over this evening."
I relaxed, and looked over at my alarm clock, seeing that it was just after ten in the morning. I wondered what time it was when Jake had gotten me home. Not that it mattered very much. I had slept so peacefully, and deeply that I was now fully rested. My mind was alert. Jake, on the other hand was content to go back to sleep for a while. I continued to lay there with him, watching the rise and fall of his chest, and tracing patterns with my fingertips over his shoulder and chest. It was a sweet moment of quiet between us. Until I felt it.
"Jake, unless this is 'when', I think you need to get up and shower."
"Hmm?" he mumbled sleepily. I pressed against him a little more firmly, right against his the wood that had started poking me. I tried to get up again, but he still refused to loosen his hold on me, keeping me trapped against him.
"Ignore it."
"Ignore it?" I guffawed. "It's digging into my thigh! How am I supposed to ignore it?"
In an instant, his mouth was covering mine, demanding, taking. My lips parted as I gasped in surprise, and then it was all tangled tongues, and hot breath, and curling toes. My heart was beating wildly, and I felt nervous, and brave all at once. He had one large hand splayed across my back, and the other against my shoulder was beginning to travel down my side. He grabbed at my hip, and rolled us so that I was on top of him, then pushed his had under the edge of my tee, his fingertips gently kneading the skin above my waisteband.
I pulled back slightly to catch my breath, and to try to gather my wits. When I looked him in the eyes, I was shocked to see nervousness. His eyes looked like they were pleading with me. I was not sure if he was waiting for permission to continue, or asking me to stop this. I cupped his face in my hand, and stared into his deep dark chocolate eyes, and leaned in to place gentle kisses on his chin, and jawline.
"Is this later, already?" I whispered in between wet kisses.
"Bella, I want you so much. You have no idea what you do to me. Being so close to you spurs a physical response that I simply cannot fight."
I stilled his mouth for a moment with my own. I kissed him hungrily, passionately. His hand traveled further up my shirt until he was cupping my breast, his thumb gently brushing my nipple over the lacy fabric of my bra. We moaned deeply into each other's mouths, and I ground my hips against his slowly.
"Bella, we shouldn't do this" he tried to sit up, but gave in as I used all of my strength to push him back against the mattress.
"We don't have to do everything, but Jakey, I need something." I ground against him again to make my point, eliciting another throaty groan from him.
"Oh, I see how it is. I'm 'Jakey' when you something from me, huh?" he pushed me into a sitting position, and drew my shirt up. I raised my arms so he could take it off. He looked at me for a full minute, drinking in the sight of me. I knew I was blushing under his stare, I couldn't help it. His eyes looked like a child on Christmas morning. His hands were suddenly all over me. He sat up, and began kissing my neck, traveling his lips wetly to my collar bone, and to sell of my breasts. I moaned loudly, moving against him.
"Can I take your bra off?" his voice sounded almost shy. I didn't answer, I just reached behind myself, unhooking the claps, and let if fall from my shoulders. I watched his face as he pulled it the rest of the way off me. He blushed as he ran his eyes over my exposed flesh, and glanced up to my face nervously, like he was asking permission to touch. I nodded slightly, resting my forehead against his. His nervous hands found their way back to my bare breasts. He leaned back a little bit, watching my face, and his hands on my skin.
"You look like a kid with a new favorite toy!" I giggled.
"I am!" he laughed huskily, and gently pinched a nipple. I felt it all the way between my legs, and I gasped.
"You smell amazing." Jake growled.
"What?" I was finding it hard to concentrate on anything. My brain had turned to mush under his gentle ministrations.
"Well, you're getting all hot and bothered, and I can smell it. Like I said, you smell amazing!"
Instead of embarrassing me, I found that his words turned me on farther. I wanted him so badly. I wanted all of him. My hands, which had been grasping at his shoulders, and twining in his hair found their way to his abs. I pushed against him again, asking him with my eyes to lie back. He did, and I ran my hands over his chest and stomach, marveling over the smoothness of his skin. I leaned forward, and kissed his chest, and nipped at his nipple. He smiled, and ran his hands over my back.
I sat back up, and locked eyes with him as I reached for the button of his fly, popping it open. He grabbed my hands in one of his, lifting my arms up and over my head, as he rolled us over, and pinned me beneath him on the mattress. I tried to protest, but he covered my breast with a hungry, hot mouth, and I quickly forgot what I was protesting about.
He released my hands, which found their way quickly into his hair. I gasped for air and mewled as he sucked, and gently bit at my nipples, palming the other in the absence of his mouth. Heat and moisture began to grow between my legs. I throbbed. I needed friction, and relief from the pulsating need emanating from that place inside of me that was screaming to be touched.
"Please." I begged
"Please, what?"
"More, I need... I need… more." I panted. I realized - as I tried to explain what I, myself couldn't understand fully - that my hips were writhing underneath of him. I felt wanton, and lusty. I felt wanted and beautiful under his touch and gaze. "I don't care about what's coming. I don't care about tomorrow, Jake. I want you. I need you. Please, make love to me."
He groaned. I know he wanted to say no, to be strong, but his body wanted mine as badly as mine wanted his. He suddenly rolled off of me, and stood in the middle of my bedroom, shaking. His eyes were wild with lust, and his cut offs strained against his throbbing hardon. I knew that he was about to win the fight with his hormones, and I didn't want that. I needed him. I needed him to know how much.
Before I even really thought it through, I was off of the bed, and unzipping his pants. I knew that he went commando. I knew there were no further barriers to fight with. He sprung free, and my eyes went wide. He was fully proportional to his six-foot-eight-inch height. I gasped softly and placed me hand around the base of him, as I leaned down to take the head into my mouth. It had all happened so quickly that he had not had time to respond. He staggered a little bit as his hand fell to the back of my head, his fingers twisting into me hair.
"Oh, my god, Bella." He grunted. "You don't have to…" words failed him as I sucked him deeply into my mouth, stroking him where my mouth could not reach. He grab bed my shoulders, lifting me from the floor, and practically threw me on the bed. His pants fell to the floor, and he stood before me naked. He was more beautiful than I had even dreamt a man could be.
His hands were rough as he stripped my pants off of me. He sunk to his knees as he pulled my hips to the edge of the bed, spreading my legs wide. He ran his hands up my thighs, following them with a trail of kisses. His hand came to rest against my center, over the top of my panties. His thumb pressed circles against me, and I bit my lip to stifle the grunts that wanted to escape me at his touch. I reached down, pushing at the top edge of my underwear, wanting them off. He complied, and all but tore them from me. He looked at me hungrily through his eyelashes.
"You smell so good." He repeated, leaning towards me, dipping his head.
I was so nervous as he kissed me, right in the spot between thigh and vulva. His mouth on my skin felt so good. I twitched involuntarily as his lips met the sensitive skin there, and he chuckled softly. His nose grazed across my pubic bone as his tongue darted out, dipping between my folds. Pleasure I had never known could exist shot through me as he tasted, and sucked at me. With one hand he grabbed my hip, and held me in place as the fingers of his other hand joined his mouth. He slid a finger inside of me, and I groaned loudly despite the death grip my teeth held on my bottom lip.
It didn't take long before his slipped a second finger into me, curling them slightly, and pressing places inside of me that made me feel like I was losing my grip on reality. He began to suck on my clit as his fingers worked inside of me. I grunted, and moaned, and whispered his name over and over. I knew that I was coming undone. I was teetering on the edge. It was so wonderful, and still it was not enough.
"Jake." I said as firmly as I could. He lifted his head, and looked me in the eyes. "I want you. I want to feel you inside me." I pleaded. He curled his fingers, and pressed his thumb against my swollen, throbbing clit.
"Part of me is inside you right now. Let this be enough for now, please?" he begged me, and dipped his head back down to finish what he started.
I fell over the edge, as I clenched around his fingers, and came over his mouth. My whole body shook, and I cried out in pleasure. Then I was in his arms, and he was kissing me. I wasn't really crazy about tasting myself on his lips, but I didn't want to push him away.
"My turn." I pushed him onto his back, and grasped his shaft gently, running my thumb over the tip, and wiping the bead of moisture over the head. He thrust his hips upward into my hand. I leaned over him, and took him into my mouth, and rolled my tongue around him. I cupped his balls gently with one hand, and stroked with the other as I sucked on him. He pushed my hair away from my face so that he could watch, and he moaned my name.
"Bella, it isn't going to take long." He told me as my eyes met his. I smiled around him, and hummed against his skin. "Damn, baby." His eyes slipped closed, and he fisted my hair. He was right. It didn't take long at all before he was muttering profanities, and his balls were tightening. He tried to push my head away, but I didn't let him. I wanted to taste him. I wanted to drink him in.
He had refused to take me the way I wanted him to, but he was not going to deny me this. He came hard, calling my name, and abusing the "F" word over and over. I stilled the movements of my hands, but I continued to suck gently on him as I milked him dry, swallowing every drop.
I crawled back up the bed, and nestled myself against him. He ran his fingertips gently up and down my spine. We were quiet together for a while, just relaxing in the post-orgasm haze. We fell asleep again, a naked tangle of spent limbs. When I woke up, he was already awake and watching me.
"That was amazing." He squeezed me tightly against his side.
"It was," I agreed " but it could have been even more amazing."
He laughed aloud, and shook his head in disbelief. "You won't be happy unless you get everything exactly as you want it, will you?"
I shrugged, and pouted at him. "Is it a bad thing to be wanted?"
"Of course not, I wasn't insinuating that you can't or shouldn't want me. I want you too. I just want the timing to be right."
"Timing?" I fumed. "What is it with the men I love, and wanting to protect my virtue? Here I am, naked, and begging, and you tell me that this is not the right time? What the hell are you waiting for?"
"We have barely been together for forty-eight hours, and you're already wanting to have sex. You were all set to live your life with and as a vampire. Bella, I love you. I have loved you for so long, and I have fantasized repeatedly about you wanting me, believe me. I have gone through more lotion and tissues than you would believe."
"Ew! Jake gross!" I slapped at him.
"Never, in any of those fantasies did you ask me to take you without first proclaiming your undying love and commitment to me. I swear, Bella. It was imagining the 'I love you" from your lips that got me off every time."
I looked at him, stunned. His transparency, and his willingness to lay himself bare like this was (to say the least) unnerving. I felt so selfish. I had never felt so selfish in my life. I didn't realize I was crying until he began to wipe the tears off of my cheeks. He kissed my eyes, and shushed me, holding me tight against him.
"Jake." I whispered against him. "I know that this is probably going to seem like a knee-jerk response, but please hear me out." My voice was thick with emotion, and I was finding it hard to form the words coherently. "I know that I have not actually said the words to you. I can't even explain it to myself. I feel them, Jake. You have to know that. Eward walked away from me willingly. He tore my heart out, and ran off with it. I survived because of you. If you ever left me, I don't think…" I choked on my tears, unable to say anything for a while. Jacob just held me patiently, waiting for me to finish. I cleared my throat several times, trying to get the lump out of the way so that I could talk again.
"If you ever left me, there is no way I would survive." I whispered. "Jake?" I waited for him to look me in the eyes before I continued. "Edward may have ripped my heart out, but by the time he brought it back to me, I had something even stronger… I had a whole new soul. You are my soul. Your warmth brought it to life. Your love nourished it. You brought me to life. Jake, I swear, if you ever walk away from me, there would be no way to recover, because I may have learned to live without a heart, but if you rip away my soul, then all that is left is a zombie. You breathed life into the zombie that was. I am here today because of your love. It is why I could never just say goodbye to you like you deserved. I need you like I need air. I can't live life without you in it. I can't. If that isn't love, what is it? I do love you, Jake."
Tears were spilling from Jacob's eyes. He crushed me to his side, and held me like his life depended on it. He began to laugh, with tears falling from his eyes, shaking his head.
"You have no idea how much I needed to hear that. I have been wanting to actually hear you say it for so long." He kissed me.
"I love you, Jake. I love you. I love…" he silenced my mouth with his kisses, which grew deeper quickly. It wasn't long before we were once again consumed with desire, and passion. He was lying on top of me, bracing his weight with his upper arms so that he would not crush me. I could feel his desire grow – literally – against my stomach. He moaned my name, and I dug my fingers into his back, arching against him.
"Are you sure?" his eyes locked with mine.
"Absolutely positive." I shuddered.
He drew his hips back, and reached down to align himself. He slowly pushed himself inside me, looking into my eyes as he did. I could feel the barrier give way. I cringed slightly, as it stung, but I wanted more. I arched my back, forcing him deeper. His whole body shivered as he pushed farther, sheathing himself entirely inside of me. He filled me completely. It felt so right to have him there, like he was made to fill that empty place inside of me just right.
After a moment, he began to move, slowly, touching my face, and looking reverently into my eyes. Our breathing was ragged, and punctuated with grunts and sighs as he gently made love to me. He whispered of love, and forever as he rested his forehead against mine. I ran my fingers gently over his back, feeling the ripple of his muscles as he moved inside of me. As the tension and passion increased, our pace increased, until our love making was almost rough, but it was not. It was perfect, and the heat between us was sublime. Our skin began to bead up with perspiration as we moved together, still watching each others' eyes.
I began to pant heavily, and moan audibly with each thrust. I could feel the coil of orgasmic pleasure tightening, waiting to spring, and send me over the edge. I bit down on his chin gently as he ground into me, whimpering and digging my fingers into his back and shoulders as I reached that beautiful precipice.
Suddenly, his eyes clouded and it was him cumming, thrusting deeply, and screaming my name that threw me over the edge. I could feel his spasms inside of me, the heat of his release spreading through me, and I heard a loud voice crying out… it was me, practically screaming as I came undone around him. His movements stilled as my muscles clamped tightly against him, and my body shuddered beneath him. I wrapped my legs around him, locking him against me as we rode out the waves of our passion.
"I love you." I breathed out, still looking him in the eyes.
"I love you, too."
We stayed locked together like that for a while, until I noticed that the light in the room had shifted, and the sun was now casting eastward shadows. I looked at the clock, and saw that it read three o'clock.
"Shit. We gotta get up, and I have to shower so I can start dinner. Charlie will be home by six."
"We need to shower." He said, wagging his eyebrows. I laughed.
He was still inside of me, and was beginning to grow again. I didn't think it was possible, but we made love for the second time without uncoupling from the first. He rolled us over, so that I could be on top, and in control. I think he really just wanted to have access to my breasts while I thrust my hips against him. It was amazing.
After riding out our third orgasms of the day, we separated. I felt an emptiness when he pulled out of me. I also felt the messiness.
"Ock! I need to change my sheets!" I whined, looking at the mess we had created. There was a rather large, bloody tinged wet spot on the bed. Jake looked at it, alarmed.
"Did I hurt you?" he worried.
"It hurt for a second, yeah; but it was amazing, Jake. I can't wait until tomorrow, when Charlie goes to work, and we can do it again!" I kissed him on the cheek as I headed towards to bathroom. I looked over my shoulder, and beckoned with my eyes. "Are you coming?"
"Wow! I have unleashed a tiger, haven't I?" Jake laughed. "Or is it a sex-kitten? I might need a little more recovery time."
We showered together, touching and kissing, laughing when Jake tried to lift me so that he could enter me again, but the water, and my body wash had made us both slippery, and it was a bit more difficult in reality than on the movies. We settled for making out, and I gave him a soapy handjob. There was none of the stereotypical post-coital awkwardness that you hear about after a first time. We were still Bella and Jacob, just naked.
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