Chapter 11: Don't you dare!
EPOV
Numb. That's how I felt, or more like lack of feeling.
I had spent the last five hours thinking, just going through the facts over and over again. Bella had been hurt; she had been hurt by my own lifestyle, by my own techniques, by someone just like me. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror anymore; I always thought I wasn't hurting anyone, that everyone who came to me was looking for what I was offering. Could I have been more wrong?
I went to bed and tried to shush my mind for a few hours, but sleep didn't come, every thirty minutes I would wake up and pace around the apartment for.
My life up to this point had been senseless and less than ideal, not something I could be proud of. I had fucked up in every way possible and everything was just chaos. I had many things to think about, many mistakes I had to correct, but right now, in this instant, I just wanted to take some time to pause those thoughts and deal with them after a while. I needed someone. I needed the person that would never judge me. The person that was number one of my Lives I've fucked up list.
I grabbed my phone and dialed her number. I hoped she was awake already. I knew she was an early riser, but being absent for so long made things a little difficult. People changes. On the third ring, she answered.
"Edward honey is that really you?"
"Yes, it's me."
"To what saint do I owe the honor of your phone call?" She asked and I could almost see the smile on her face.
"Real funny you know. But listen I was wondering… Maybe I could… Can I come over?" I asked hoping that she was available.
"Sure baby. Is there something wrong?"
"No." I lied "I just want to see you. I'll be there in half an hour."
"Edward…" She scolded "I don't want you driving around like a maniac!"
"I'm close by! Don't you worry, see you in a few."
"Ok. Be careful, I love you." I love you, words you never know you need to hear, but when you do they make everything better; if only just for a while.
"I love you too mom." I said smiling. Moms always make everything better.
Thirty-five minutes later I was parking by the huge white house in the heel that held so many memories for me and the woman that made her white surroundings look like dirt compared to her purity. As soon as I got out of the car she was walking towards me and enveloping me into a bone-crushing hug.
"I missed you." The woman with the copper-ish hair that clearly resembled mine said smiling and dimples adorned her adorable face.
"I missed you too." I admitted a little ashamed. Not because I missed her, but because ever since I moved close by, I had promised to come and visit more often. Three months had passed and this was the first time I came by.
"Come inside, I made some cookies for later, but I'm sure we can have one or two without anyone noticing."
Esme Cullen, the only woman I knew that could have three badges of cookies ready before 11:00 a.m. I laughed as I voiced the thought.
"Let me tell you, Edward, that things in this family haven't changed and we still keep our traditions, even when a member is missing." She said only half jokingly.
At first I didn't understand what she was saying, but then it hit me, it was the last Saturday of the month, which meant family dinner.
"Oh." Was everything I could manage to answer. We had started what became a tradition when I was about six years old. Mom was always around, but we only got to spend some limited time with dad, with his busy life as a doctor and the late shifts and everything. So, one day Alice, my younger sister decided to wait up for him until he got home, way past our bedtime. She was on the top of the staircase when she screamed with her ridiculously super high-pitched voice "Dad! You're finally home! I need to talk to you!" For a four year-old she was so clever.
"Yes sweetheart, what can I do for you?" Dad was always giving her whatever she wanted.
"Don't try to distraxt me." She said pointing her finger at him.
He held his hands up in surrender. "Fine, I won't dixtraxt you, now go on." He motioned with a warm smile.
"No, daddy, not dixtraxt! It's distraxt!" She said patting his leg as if she knew what she was talking about. I was watching from the top of the stairs now. Then her expression turned furious. "See, you're doing it again!" She stomped her foot on the floor fiercely.
She drew out a long breath before continuing. "Okay daddy I'm just going to say this ounce, I am feeling very reyekted by you, you don't spend time home and I have my needs! I deemand you to have at last one day with us! It will be the Daddy and Alice's day! And there is no negochiation about it!" She tried to say in a very professional way.
Our parents were trying very unsuccessfully not to laugh at her little outburst. "Honey, what have you been watching on TV?"
"Nothing Carlay." She said in a serious tone and both mom and dad started laughing uncontrollably.
She crossed her hands in front of her chest. "Edward said I could watch it while mom was in the garden!" She said exasperated.
"I should have known that Edward had something to do with this! But overall, I think you're right, what if we call it the family day instead?"
"I say its fine." She said as dad scooped her in his arms.
"So what else has Edward allowed you to see without our consent huh?"
Ever since that day, the last Saturday of every month was saved for family, we spent the day together and talked, played, and ate together. When time passed by, our time together decreased and eventually the family day became the family dinner. I hadn't been in one since I left for college all those years ago.
"Edward." Esme's voice brought me back to reality.
"Yeah?" I answered.
"Are you staying for lunch?"
"Yeah, sure I would love to." I would definitively love to see Alice and dad; I hadn't seen them in months.
"Great!" she exclaimed, "now go take a shower and come back soon, everyone should be here in about twenty minutes."
I walked to my old room and memories flooded my mind, the endless times which I spent here, the occasions in which I sneaked out to a party or when I sneaked in with a girl. When I emerged from my room I had a smile on my face.
I went into the living room and was surprised to find Alice in there with my mom. But the surprise wasn't the fact that she was there, but that she wasn't alone. Standing there with her was a person I was both thrilled and disgusted to see. I walked in closer and forced a smile on my face.
I cleared my throat and three pairs of eyes turned towards me. In less than a second I was being strangled by a small pair of arms.
"OH MY GOD EDWARD YOU'RE HERE!" Squealed Alice.
"Alice, honey I can't breathe." She loosened her grip but held me another five minutes or so. Finally she took a step back.
"I just can't believe you're here. How long are you staying? Are you leaving soon? Are you staying for lunch?"
I laughed at her eagerness. "Yes, Ali I'll stay for lunch, and don't worry I'll be around, I promise." I couldn't believe what I was saying, but I really did miss my family.
"Oh. And Edward… meet my boyfriend Jasper." She smiled softly as he took her hand in his.
"Yeah, I know who he is." I said bitterly. Jasper and I used to be close back in college and to be honest that was what scared me the most.
"Edward…" Jasper said cautiously "I swear, I'm different now, and Alice and I are as serious as it can be." He smiled and turned her attention towards her. "We love each other and I'm not that immature guy I used to be." They were both grinning and then and there I knew I had no say in it. When Alice made her mind, there was no chance to make her change.
But they were serious; it was as if they were in their own world when they looked at each other and I couldn't be such a hypocrite because me of all people, knew that people actually changes.
There was a soft knock on the door and it was cautiously opened. "Mom… are you home?" Said a soft voice that sounded so familiar.
MOM?
I looked around confused, but the only answer I got was a glare from Alice herself.
"Edward, I'm warning you: Stay. Away. From her." She said in a serious tone.
I just held my hands up in mock surrender.
Just then the most incredible vision blurred everything else. The dark-haired beauty standing by the open door holding a bouquet of beautiful wild flowers in every different color a non-matching combination that made a perfect contrast between every color. Her eyes met mine and rational thoughts left my mind.
"Bella?" I asked softly. And then I felt it; a strong pain in the back of my head. I turned to the source of my inflicted pain and glared at Alice who was scowling.
"Really Edward? … Bella? Oh My God I'm going to kill you!" She said in a hushed voice.
"Alice! It's not at all what you think! I have not done anything to her or with her, now shush!"
She relaxed instantly. "Anyway, don't you dare."
I ignored her comment. As my eyes met hers once again, I already had a resolution… I was going to stand by her, I was going to be there for her, this was my way of paying for what I had done before, and I would do it without second thoughts.
All I had to do now was waiting. Wait to see if she would ever accept me.
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