A/N: Heheh, I'm ba-ack~ Enter Mam-gu! Welsh translations will be provided on the bottom.

Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, Melody, Kaden, the StarChasers, Mam-gu, any of the songs mentioned, English, Welsh, or the death scooter. :)

She sighed and called out, "Ie, mam-gu 'i' i mi."

"Byddwch yn ddiwerth dda i ddim ble buoch chi?!" Her granny shouted angrily.

"Symudais i America mam-gu!" Melody shouted back. Her granny marched into the garden and whacked Melody round the head.

"Nain ow! Beth y uffern?" Melody snapped.

They both started arguing in Welsh (her granny, or 'mam-gu' as Melody called her, didn't seem to speak any English)

"Do you have any idea what they're saying?" Kaden asked Jade in a hushed voice.

"No idea. Let's see where it goes though!" Jade

"A phwy yw'r bobl hyn?" Melody's grandmother demanded, looking at Jade and Kaden.

"Maen nhw'n fy ffrindiau." Melody sighed.

"Ha! Stori tebygol! Mae'n debyg y byddwch dod รข hwy i ddwyn i mi, i chi brat ddiwerth!" Granny shouted.

"Mam-gu!" Melody whined.

"Um, hello!" Jade interrupted with a wave. "Um, I'm Jade, and this is Kaden, and we have no idea what you're saying."

"Way to be blunt." Kaden muttered.

"Mam-gu mae hyn yn Jade ac mae hyn yn Kaden!" Melody said.

"Nid oes angen tai garw yn fy ngardd! Ewch i ffwrdd!" Her grandmother snapped.

"Mam-gu!" Melody exclaimed. "Maen nhw'n fy ffrindiau!"

"Seriously guys! We can't understand anything!" Jade said in a singsong voice.

"Mam-gu can't speak English," Melody explained.

"I thought your family was Irish," Kaden said.

"Yes, but not all my family. That's why we moved here when I was shot. Because Mam-gu lives here!" Melody explained.

"Oh. So she's you granny? Huh, I was expecting someone more... Nice. Not so evil-like." Jade said.

"Oi! She may be mean, but she's still my Mam-gu." Melody growled.

"Um, how about this?" Kaden asked. "We come in peace!" He said as he made gestures, first gesturing to the three of them, then motioned walking, then pointed down, then flashed a peace sign. Mam-gu's only reaction was a facial expression Melody knew well: 'what the hell?'

"... Kaden, why did you think that would work?" Melody sighed.

"I don't know! I can't speak Welsh can I?!" Kaden snapped.

"Oh, it's time isn't it?" Melody's granny said, surprising the three teens.

"What?" Melody says. "Mam-gu?"

"Your here for your ship aren't you?"

"Mam-gu your speaking English!" Melody exclaimed. "And what? My ship?"

"Yeah," her granny shrugged. "I was told to look after it. And your the madwoman who was predicted to come with you on the journey," she said, pointing to Jade, "and your the special one," she said, pointing to Kaden.

"Mam-gu what are you talking about?" Melody asked.

"Melody, you need to listen to me, and listen to me now." Mam-gu said forcefully.

"Um, I have a question!" Jade exclaimed. "What are you talking about? Normally they call me crazy, but you, lady, you take the cake. How could you possibly know about all this? And how does a Welsh granny speak English?"

"All your questions will be answered in time, Madwoman." Mam-gu closed her eyes. "I have to tell you about what you have to do to beat the Mother of Snakes."

"Um, who?" Kaden scratched the back of his neck.

"You should know, Special One, you were slave to one of her minions."

"You mean Lady Gorgana? We've been hearing a lot about her, but we don' actually know where she is." Melody deadpanned.

"Well you must find her soon, child, for she has control over your Doctor friend and the Captain."

"Can I just interject here?" Kaden says. "I was nobody's slave!"

"Keep telling yourself that Special One," Mam-gu announced.

"What?" Kaden frowned.

"HAHAHA! Your just got told by a Mam-gu!" Jade laughed.

"Hey! She's MY mam-gu!" Melody snapped. "Anyway, what do we do Mam-gu?"

"You must first find your ship," Mam-gu replied.

"My... ship?"

"Yes. Your ship."

"Well where is it?"

"I don't know you foolish child!" Mam-gu snapped, whacking Melody round the back of the head again.

"OW! I thought you said you had to look after it?!" Melody snapped back, rubbing her head and grumbling in annoyance.

"I did."

"What?"

"I just don't know where it is."

"That's helpful." Jade observed, also earning a whack from Mam-gu. "Owie!"

"Just because you are mad doesn't mean that you are ignorant." Mam-gu snapped.

"Aw..." Jade's bottom lip quivered slightly.

"Um, excuse me, Mrs. Melody's Mam-gu, if you're supposed to guard the ship, then why don't you know where it is?" Kaden asked.

"Stupid boy, the ship's location was erased from my memory for two reasons: So that it would stay safe from offenders like you Captain friend, who would pluck up your ship and destroy it without any thought, and so that Melody can prove herself to be a true StarChaser." Mam-gu explained.

"Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa, wait." Melody shut her eyes and held her hands out in a 'slow down' motion. "What?"

"Did you think that StarChasers are just born into the clan? No. They must prove that they are worthy of the title. Us two are the last of the StarChasers. Don't give me that look, girl, you're mother is no longer one of us. She gave up her StarChaser abilities and identity when she fell in love with your useless father." Mam-gu said.

"But... How do you know all this?"

"When the last great Time War was upon us, I visited the oracle of our people. She told me that many years from then, my daughter's daughter would be faced with a great and noble quest to rid the universe of an old and powerful enemy."

"The Gorganas." Kaden breathed.

"Exactly. She said that my granddaughter would be joined by two other powerful entities that would help her, but they would need my help."

"What's an entity?" Jade asked.

"Someone important." Meldoy explained.

"Oh... Continue."

"Thank you, Madwoman. The oracle also confided that when the time came, my granddaughter would be faced with hardships like that she has never known. She will face suffering, loss, and incredible anger and sadness. She will also find the most important treasures in all the universe: Faith, Hope, Love, and Friendship."

"Sounds like some cheesy movie plot," Jade muttered.

"So how do we 'find' these treasures?" Melody asked.

"Well, you've found faith. You only just met Jade and The Doctor and you put your faith in them. Hope was what Kaden gave you when you moved to America and you had no-one until he came along," Mam-gu explains.

"So what do we find next, team?" Jade grinned.

"Uh... love wasn't it?" Kaden asked.

"Yes," Mam-gu confirmed.

"Where the hell do you find love?" Melody frowned.

"Sometimes when you what to find something, it's hidden in plain sight," Mam-gu explained.

"What?" Melody asked.

"Stop talking in riddles woman!" Jade demanded.

"As you progress through your journey you will grow to love," Mam-gu simply replied.

"Yes, but love who?" Melody emphasized.

"Love whom, child, love whom. Ask the Special One." Mam-gu grumbled.

"Wait, what? Oh, nonononononono." Melody shook her head. "That's impossible."

"Um, yeah. Impossible." Kaden said, looking at his feet.

"Idiot girl. You are blind to the truth, but the fog shall soon be cleared."

"What did I say about the riddles?!" Jade frowned.

"Time will answer all questions," Mam-gu answered solemnly.

"What?"

"Oh I know!" Jade grabbed Kaden and Melody by the hair and slammed their faces together, "KISS!"

Kaden fell backwards from the impact and landed on his backside while Melody grabbed her nose between her fingers. "Nosebleed! Nosebleed!" She exclaimed, tipping her head backwards.

"Stupid girl!" Mam-gu snapped, whacking Jade round the head again. "You rattled the necklace!"

"Ooops, sorry Mel," Jade giggled.

"It's OK, I take nosebleeds all the time," Melody replied, sounding like a duck through her pinched nose.

"And you can't force it! It must come naturally," Mam-gu snapped.

"Aw... Then all my hard work five seconds ago was for nothing." Jade feigned disappointment and kicked a rock by her shoe.

"Sometimes I really hate you, you know that?" Melody stated. "Got a tissue?"

"I love you too, Mel." Jade grinned, producing a tissue from her back pocket. She handed the tissue to Melody, who took it and started dabbing the blood from her nose. "And don't tilt your head back; it'll make you sick."

"Like your one to talk."

"I'm fine too by the way," Kaden grumbled as he stood up again.

"I know, I know, I know!" Jade said, sticking her hand into the air and jumping up and down like an overexcited school swot who knows all the answers. "A ball!"

"What?" Melody asked.

"A ball! You know, like in fairytales. You can't help but fall in love at a ball!" Jade explained with a stupid grin on her face.

"We're not arranging a ball Jade," Kaden said simply.

"Aw why not?"

"One: It would waste time and two: I hate balls, dances and parties."

"Why?"

"Because I just don't like them," Kaden stated.

"Well there's my second attempt down the drain too," Jade grumbled.

"Why don't we just go with the flow and see what happens?" Melody suggested.

"I like that!" Kaden said, clicking his fingers.

"Go with the flow..." Jade marveled. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming, swimming, what do we do? We swiiim, oh oh oh oh oh when you want to SWIIIIM and then you SWIIIIM and then you-"

"Jade, shut up!" Melody growled.

"Heheh, sorry."

"So... uh... what now?" Melody asked Mam-gu.

"You must find your ship," Mam-gu explained.

"Uh.. kay... how do we do that?" Jade asked.

"DISCOVER THE TREASURES!" Mam-gu shouted, whacking Jade again.

"Sorry," Jade mumbled.

"Hm. I don't know how the fate of this planet can rest on the shoulders of you three. You are quite incapable." Mam-gu humphed.

"Oi!" Melody protested. "We are not incapable! I'm a StarChaser, Kaden is a great guy, and Jade is... well... Jade's just crazy."

"I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it!" Jade grinned.

"You see?!" Melody emphasized.

"Rydym yn tynghedu," Mam-gu grumbled.

"Aw come on Mam-gu," Melody comforted. "It's not that bad."

"What did she say?" Kaden asked.

"We are doomed," Melody replied.

"What do you mean, 'rydym yn tynghedu'? We're perfectly capable of saving the world of whatever from a bunch of Medusa wannabe's then taking over the world with fire!" Jade announced.

"..." Melody just looked at her friend before banging her head on the wall of the house.

"What? Was it something I said?"

"Mam-gu, what does rwyf wrth fy modd i chi mean?" Kaden inquired.

"Don't answer that Mam-gu!" Melody yelled, pointing a threatening finger at her grandmother.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" Kaden frowned.

"I've sorta been wondering what it means too," Jade put in.

"Just no! Mam-gu be quiet!" Melody ordered.

Mam-gu grumbled and whacked Melody again. "Don't talk to me like that you insolent child!"

"Don't worry about it Kaden," Melody smiled in the fakest way. "It doesn't mean anything important."

"But Mam-gu said it was a treasure," Kaden frowned. "Isn't that important?"

"No! Don't listen to her! She's old and crazy!"

"Watch you tongue!" Mam-gu snapped, raising her hand to slap her round the head again.

"OK, OK, sorry," Melody said, raising her hands to protect herself.

"AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!" Jade suddenly started to sing at the top of her lungs.

"JADE SHUT THE HELL UP!" Melody screeched.

"AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU!" Jade repeated.

"I'm lost and confused," Kaden pointed out.

"Don't worry about it," Melody waved off while Jade continued to sing. "SHUT UP JADE!"

"OH I KNOW!" Jade shouted. "MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON!"

"Isn't that the Titanic theme?" Kaden asked.

"Yes," Melody sighed.

"If you truly want the madwoman to stop her infernal screeching you must use your powers," Mam-gu said solemnly.

"You mean like use the force?" Kaden asked.

"If you like," Mam-gu confirmed.

"Oh, OK," Melody grinned. "SHUT THE HELL UP JADE!" She screamed at the top of her voice. Every house in the estate's windows shattered and the glass in Melody's own glasses cracked down the middle. Jade stopped singing and stared at her, dumbfounded.

"Seriously Mel? I was really starting to get into it!" She pouted.

"Can we get back on track now?" Melody asked Mam-gu.

"Certainly." Mam-gu nodded. "Effective use of your powers, child. Messy, not how I would've done it, but effective nonetheless."

"Sorry about the damage..." Kaden frowned.

"It's quite alright, Special One." Mam-gu said, and waved her hand. Instantly, the shattered glass flew back into place like it had never been broken.

"... Cool." Jade said in awe. "oh! I thought of another song! CAN YOU FEEL THE LOVE TONIGHT?!"

"Hold your tongue, Madwoman." Mam-gu sighed, and waved her hand again. It seemed like nothing had happened, but when Jade went to open her mouth, no sound came out. Jade seemed panicked, and started mouthing a truckload of words, probably curses and other things.

"I have to learn how to do that." Melody nodded approvingly.

"It's a nice trick, I'll admit. I thought about using it on you a few times during your childhood." Mam-gu chuckled. "But to the point, there are still the other treasure: Friendship."

Jade's eyes lit up, and even though no sound came out, she still moved her mouth like she was singing at the top of her lungs.

"Well how do we find Friendship?" Melody asked after whacking Jade on the head for her silent singing.

Mam-gu shrugged. "That's up to you child. I can't tell you everything."

"But it would make everything so much easier," Kaden said.

"But not everything can be easy," Mam-gu pointed out. "I must go now, good luck on your journey." She began heading towards the house again.

"OI! Mam-gu! You can't just leave us like this! How the hell can you find Love and Friendship?!" Melody shouted after her grandmother.

"You just need Friendship Melody," Mam-gu called as she continued to work.

"NO WE DON'T WE NEED LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP!" Melody screamed, normally this time so no glass shattered.

Melody sighed in frustration, and Jade ran up to Mam-gu, gesturing to her mouth.

"Oh, forgive me. It slipped my mind." Mam-gu said with a hint of a smirk, and waved her hand, freeing Jade's mouth.

"FINALLY!" She shouted, and then started to sing. "HAKUNA MATATA! WHAT A WONDERFUL PHRASE!"

"Seriously?" Melody demanded, and whacked Jade again.

"Owie." Jade said, fake tearing up.

"Calm down, Mel, you're starting to sound like your Mam-gu." Kaden said.

"AM NOT!" Melody denied, and whacked Kaden too.

"Ouch!"

"Don't anger a StarChaser children," Mam-gu warned. "It can have terrible consequences."

"Like what?" Jade asked in a tone that showed she didn't believe Melody would hurt her.

"Starchasers can use the fire of the sun to burn every piece of infernal skin off your body, or use the water of the earth to fill up your throat to the brim until your lungs fill with water, or they can manipulate the world's air to suck from your lungs so slowly that you feel every agonizing second of it," Mam-gu said in a scary story at Halloween tone.

"Harsh," Kaden simply said.

"... I still don't believe that little Mel-Mel would hurt me." Jade said defiantly.

Mam-gu sighed, and plucked a flower from her garden. She made a fist around the flower, and it burst into flames. "Melody could do the same to you, Madwoman." She warned, and placed the burnt flower back into its place, where the stem sewed itself back into the ground, and was revitalized.

"Wow," Kaden breathed.

"Let me try!" Melody squealed, plucking her own flower. She formed a fist round it and sent a fireball through the wall of Mam-gu's house. "Shit! I can fix that!" Melody exclaimed. Mam-gu sighed and shook her head. "I'd rather you let me," she grumbled, heading inside the house once more.

"Heheh, buuuuuurn!" Jade sang.

"Do you want to play with fire?" Melody raised an eyebrow. Jade replied by nodding vigorously. "... I should've figured..."

"I think it's for the best to assume that Jade wants to play with everything dangerous." Kaden sweat dropped.

"Look at me!" Melody declared, forming fire into her hands. "I'M THE GIRL ON FIRE!"

"Now that's something I would have expected off Jade," Kaden said.

"Ah come on, I can't be crazy sometimes too?" Melody pouted.

"Sometimes, but we need you to be the sane one," Jade pointed out.

"But we all get the reference." Kaden smiled. Jade put on a thoughtful pose.

"So if Melody's going to act crazy, then that means that I have to be sane for some time. Quick question, Kaden, do you know how to make bread?" Jade noted.

"Um, a bit. It's not very good..." Kaden swallowed.

"AhHA!" Jade pointed in Kaden's face. "This was MEANT to be!"

"What in the name of sanity are you talking about?" Kaden frowned.

"Jade, stop being silly," Melody said.

"I'm not being silly, I'm being realistic," Jade said back.

"No, your really not," Melody replied. "Plus, if you wanted it to be then he would have to be blonde, have blue eyes and be able to make GOOD bread."

"What?" Kaden frowned.

"Don't worry about it."

"So how are we going to do all this? And how are we going to use these four treasures to fight against them?" Kaden demanded.

"I don't know." Jade grinned happily. "Let's go with it!"

"Just keep swimming?" Kaden questioned.

"Yes!" Jade grinned, snapping her fingers.

"OK, Finding Nemo," Melody smiled. "My favourite kid movie."

"Woop Woop!" Jade whooped, pumping her hand. "Let's go do this thing!"

The three were about to leave when Mam-gu came back outside.

"Oh, and child?"

"Yes, Mam-gu?" Melody asked.

"StarChasers have the power to make concepts a reality." Mam-gu winked then went back inside.

"... What?"

"You'll figure it out in time child," Mam-gu said before returning back into the house.

"Ok, that old lady really needs to get her priorities straight and give us something useful..." Kaden mumbled as they headed down the front garden.

"And not in a riddle," Jade added.

"I think we're supposed to figure it out," Melody shrugged.

"But that's soooo haaaaard!" Jade whined.

"Jade, you should be grateful we even got any information at all." Kaden pointed out.

"Meh." Jade pouted and crossed her arms and fell to the ground.

"Get up you lump," Melody sighed, grabbing Jade's elbow and pulling her upright again.

"We've got a job to do," Kaden added.

"But I'm tired!" Jade moaned. "And hungry. Can we please get some fries?"

"Chips," Melody corrected.

"Whatever!" Jade moaned again.

"Oh, and one more thing." Mam-gu popped out of the door again.

"Geez, Mam-gu! What did you forget?" Melody exclaimed.

"I am old, child. Do not expect me to remember everything all at once. The four treasures can be born in four hotspots in the world. Use your powers to find them."

"Alright, I'll bite. How?" Melody asked.

"The Madwoman can help you hone that ability. But to get to the next stop, you must find the first."

"Well, no duh there." Kaden huffed.

"Hold your tongue, Special One. Child, I don't know exactly where the first hotspot is, but I do know that the dual threads of madness shall help you find the first treasure, which will bring you one step closer to your ship, and your destiny." Mam-gu stated. "I think that's everything. But if I do forget, I will be able to contact you through your heart."

"Hah?" Melody's eyebrows went so high that it looked like they were trying to escape. "What does that even mean?"

It means, child, that you can ask me questions if you need to.

"WHOA!" Melody exclaimed at hearing her Mam-gu's voice in her head. "That's freaky."

"What's freaky?" Kaden asked.

Don't tell them. This is for you and I alone. Otherwise the Madwoman would never cease speaking.

"Um, nothing." Melody lied.

"Are you going crazy?" Jade questioned. "Oh! We could be mad together!"

"What?" Melody frowned. "No! It's-"

Melody Curran I'm warning you! If you tell them I'll-

"No! Don't Mam-gu! I promise I won't tell them," Melody protested.

"What?" Kaden frowned. "Mam-gu isn't here."

"Sorry, I spaced out..." Melody lied. "Anyway, we should pobably head back to Torchwood. I have an idea on the dual threads of madness..."

"I'll drive!" Jade said excitedly.

"NO!" Kaden and Melody said at the same time.

"I'll drive." Kaden said.

"Meh... Party poopers..." Jade's face wilted.

A/N: *laughs maniacally* So Melody gets a taste of her newfound powers, they have to follow a cheesy movie plot, and Melody is still blind to the fact that she loves Ka-

Melody: *covers my mouth* Say it and I'll hurt you.

Me: Meh. Oh yeah, and Jade wants to take over the world and play with fire. But we all knew that. :)

Welsh translations:

Yes, grandmother, it's me.

You are worthless, useless, where have you been?!

I moved to America, grandmother!

Grandma ow! What the hell?

And who are these people?

They are my friends.

Ha! Likely story! You probably brought them here to rob me, you worthless brat!

Grandmother!

Grandmother this is Jade and this is Kaden!

There is no roughhousing needed in my garden! Go away!

Grandmother! They are my friends!

We're doomed.

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~Doc and HungerWho