April Kepner sat at a white work desk. Her eyes were sad and the commotion that blonde Australian caused behind her wouldn't help. Robert Chase walked around the room, throwing things across it. Two sets of underwear, a dress, a pair of flared jeans and a single slipper flew into a suitcase. April followed the garments with her sight, stroking her pregnant belly. Chase made her anxious.

When Jackson left Seattle she was overjoyed that she could get rid of him for a few months, for a few sacred months during which she would be free of her tormenting crush. The feelings she had for Avery were breaking her, piece by piece tearing her apart to the point at which she felt useless and empty. Her heart and body ached for him constantly. She felt as if she was falling down from a great height without a parachute or a paraglide. Time flew by, she was 3 months pregnant by now, her abdomen was swollen and her body changed in Olympic pace.

Robert looked at her with impatience. April reprocipated the look with scorn. She was about to run into her bedroom and slam the door shut on him, when he grabbed hold of her, and slammed her against the wall and proceeded shake her.

'April, April' he whimpered looking at her blotchy face and cupped it with his both hands, shaking. Huge tears started running down her face, leaving glittery traces on her cheeks. He slid his arms about her waist and somewhat clumsily touched his lips to hers – and then he kissed her with a passion she couldn't imagine. April closed her eyes and let the sensations take over. She wore no bra, so it was pure heaven to see her breasts in all their glory. Chase gently kissed the tops of her breasts. She bent into a bow when he circled both her nipples, now perky and alert. The hand moved down her, cupping her mound through her white silk pajama pants. She crushed her mouth against his, in an urgent kiss that promised of more to come later. Robert welcomed it with a groan, still feeling a very mixed and undefined mélange of emotions. The confident womanizer that April knew had vanished, and instead remained an insecure man who was afraid to be hurt and now threw her on an unmade bed. The Aussie every female and a few males in the hospital adored back when they weren't lovers was now hers and hers alone. She blushed knowing it was her that did this to him. She felt herself tremble and anticipated the slender fingers that tugged on the hem of her shorts to violate her, instead he tore off is boxers and leaned forward, positioning himself in front of her entrance. He then plunged in with one swift thrust upward. April cried out at this, and started to set a slow, torturous rhythm. He grabbed her cute arse to lift her, so that he would reach further, deeper. She heard him murmur against her neck and the heat of his breath made her moan softly.

Suddenly she tore him off her and sat up straight.

'No.'

Robert sighed. He rubbed his leg against hers to reassure her that everything was going to be fine. Since news about Kepner's pregnancy flooded the hospital she communicated with him using single words instead of her usual awkward jabbering. She walked around like a zombie, puking every thirty minutes and looking like a Bastille prisoner. Herkindness had been unfailing, and her presence changed everything, as always. But nevertheless, she was isolated. Her swelling stomach made other wonder. Everyone assumed that she had Avery's baby. Everyone waited for a swarthy, strong baby with curly hair that would be followed by a quick wedding and unhappy marriage. Everyone wondered why she kept Chase around her. Why, when she was clearly pregnant with the man everybody deemed right for her, and who left Seattle for Chase's original workplace.

It was only April who knew that the kid she was expecting would be possibly blonde, have light, powdery complexion. She even did the math and it turned out that the kid would have her eyes, not Chase's. Genetics was a wonderful thing.

She made a list of baby names. May, June, Berry for a girl. Joshua, Levi and John for a boy. She waited for her offspring with much awe and fright. She was not ready to be a mother. She went through baby shopping catalogues, squealed over buggies and onesies and cute little pacifiers. She was everything a happy mother-to-be should be, but it felt as if she was trying to lie to herself, to the world. The globes center was now the tiny creature in her abdomen that she was supposed to nurture and care for. It was impossible. Impossible to think about, impossible to get over. It was not supposed to be like that, not with Chase, not when she was still not married.

Robert, on the other hand, digested the situation exceptionally well. When they found out that April is pregnant he had a small breakdown, but quickly pulled himself together. For his child. For the woman her impregnated.

After Rowan, his father, had immigrated to Australia from Czechoslovakia a few years before Robert was born his mother became infatuated with him and conceived Robert. After that, the family spiraled down with Mrs. Chase being constantly drunk. He saw enough to know that if he would choose to leave April and his kid behind he would never forgive himself. He would imagine how his life would be with a smaller version of April Kepner being driven to ballet class or smaller version of himself, kicking a soccer ball across the backyard. His little sister ended up drinking half her life away and hating him for not being there, but he couldn't bear taking care of her. Not after what he saw happened to their mother. He blamed himself for letting Mrs. Chase destroy herself with booze, and seeing his sister follow that path would make him do the same.

He was Robert Chase, the elder son of Rowan, his progeny and his heir. His name overshadowed his actions and it broke him. It was clear that his father was financing his lifestyle as Robert, unlike the other fellows, never lacked for or cared about money. He had wild amounts of sex, he wore his Dolce & Gabbana and Gucci like other wore their American Apparel and H&M and he traveled to remote place to surf or bang the local hotties. It was his passive – aggressive way of making it even with his father, spending his money on things he did not need. When he saw Jackson Avery, whose mother and grandfather were the aristocracy of the medical world, he felt like he found someone who would understand him. He was wrong.

He felt antagonized and disliked by him, and ever since he asked April Kepner for dinner and she accepted the staff of the hospital treated him the very same way. The whole Grey Sloan Memorial acted like he stole her for the praised Prince of Plastics, who thought about redhead as if she was his buddy, not his future fiancée. Meredith, her husband Derek, Calioppe and her wife Arizona, everybody shunned him for a crime he did not commit, April was charmed by him and they had a good thing going on. He knew about the San Francisco events, as she felt it was important for him to know why everybody treated him like scum; it was weird falling from grace to the deepest trenches of the social hierarchy. He changed his pristine blond hair he constantly peroxided to his natural dishwater blond, and carried a constant five o'clock shadow. Robert Chase felt tired.

Since the onset of their relationship he felt like something was wrong. April clinged to him, making him feel trapped. She was self-conscious, unconfident, repeatedely had crying fits. He knew there was something more than an attraction she had for this competitive asshole of a plastics surgeon. There were too many 'Jackson said's and 'Jackson told me's in their conversations, too many pictures of him in her cell phone. She was not over. He decided to let this one slide, to give her a chance for moving on.

Instead he heard Avery's name at least once a month during their hopeless, angst filled sex they had in cars, closets or custodian cupboards. She never showed a sign of realization of what she yelped and he never uttered a word of protest. She was the only person who gave him any attention, and he was a male attention whore. He lacked praising, he missed being the celebrity. April made him feel both miserable and needed; he did not feel like that since his mother asked him to get groceries when he was in 8th grade. He brought them, sweaty, tired, and angry that his only present parent collapsed on the kitchen floor on a puddle of her own vomit. He cleaned up, changed his mother into clean clothes and lied her down in bed. She looked at him with her warm, hazel eyes and said 'Thank you, Robbie. Thanks.'

That phrase ringed in his ears. He felt like this pathetic creature that bore him was grateful, and it made him both sick and happy that he could have been of use. The same way April made him think that he was a way to get out of her pit of misery. Sometimes he really hated his shrewd capability of deducing people's motives. She used him to get on the Move On road. Except it didn't work and she kept punishing him for that. She isolated him, refused to talk with him, and made him know that she wanted to get to Princeton by leaving a postcard from Avery on his working desk.

Jackson sent her a congratulations card with a few kisses down the page, and her heart felt like a jab of steel. She managed to fold it nicely in half and pressed her lips to it, smelling him on the stationary paper. Smelling, or imagining the smell? She was not sure. She hugged the card and rocked like a baby with a bad case of hospitalism. She wanted him, she needed him. She wanted him to be the daddy of that little sea monkey that floated inside of her protruding belly.

She had to do something, and that scared the crap out of her. 'He goes out of his way to put young patients at ease and to talk to them at their level', she said to herself, 'Chase is going to be a good father. But he ain't going to be a good hubby for me. Not like Jackson will.'

April reached the perils of paranoia. She was determined to get Avery into her life, even if she was going to use blackmail, force or illegal ways. Being away from Jackson and pregnancy changed her tremendously. Her previous immaturity and overtly insecure behavior transformed into full-blown depression and it made her look like she finally found her peace; she was quiet, focused. Actually she was a tangled mess of problems and contradictions.

'I will be fine.' April looked at herself in the mirror, sighed and placed the card on Robert's desk. She knew he would find it and get the right conclusion. Her determination scared her, she felt how tremendous might the consequence be. For her, for her child. But she was not going to stop.

She fished out a big, fuchsia pink suitcase out of her closet and started packing. When the last of her ballerina flats flew into it, Robert entered the room. His eyes darted to the pile of wrinkled clothes spilling out of the suitcase and to the card which was calling his name across the room, set up against a jar of anti-acid medication. He picked it up, furrowed his brow and looked at her with a tired expression. She nodded and sat on a little stool placed next to the desk. He sighed and started packing her.