Sigyn can't stop dreaming about what she knows. She keeps having visions of herself with Loki, as if her imagination wishes she spent more time with him. Many of her visions are of the two of them in Frigga's room, as if their first encounter was much longer than it truly was.
In her mind's eye, Sigyn is sitting up, inching farther from Loki while she sits on Frigga's bed. She still senses that he is a danger to her. Before Sigyn can process her next move, Loki leans forward, and moves his slender index finger to his lips in a shushing motion. His other hand is moving ever closer, stealthily, until it has grasped her forearm.
The hand he held in front of his face grabs her other arm in a surprise attack. She cannot speak, and only gasps, her eyes widening with fear. Loki pulls her arms parallel in front of her. The man yanks Sigyn in, moves his face close to hers, and hisses at her.
"You know I could kill you right now, you fiend, for exposing my secret. What right do you think you have? Why should I spare your life?" Loki's anger is palpable. Sigyn is terrified but refuses to close her eyes. Tears are streaming down the girl's face, and she knows her arms are trembling; she can't decide to clench her hands in a fist or hold them open in surrender. Sigyn can't focus on anything but the tears on her face and Loki's icy breath. She shifts the attention to her arms. Loki is hurting her with his hands, squeezing too hard, making her fingers tingle...
Sigyn shoots up out of bed, awakened by a noise at the door. Tiwaz is wandering in from another night of prowling, purring loudly enough that she can hear him across the room. Even now, as she distractedly beckons the cat, Sigyn gently strokes her forearms, trying to remember the sensation of Loki's cold hands on her skin.
...
Many days pass with Sigyn performing a daily routine of bringing unattended meals to the false Odin. She does not have any more private meetings with him; since the last time they spoke, he has kept his word. The foyer is now well-lit, and a table awaits her to leave her offerings in the evening. When Sigyn is not attending to his orders, she assists with large parties in the kitchen to stay busy.
Unbeknownst to the girl, Loki is always aware when Sigyn is near. He has wanted to avoid her after he snuck to her room a few nights before; Loki knows better than to distract himself with carnal things during a potential time of battle. Despite this, he still finds himself following her when he finds time to do so.
On this night, Loki follows her out after her final call to him. He shields his form and tiptoes in the background, watching her every move; Loki is certain he saw Sigyn holding something to her breast when she turned away. She may not have known he was watching, but he would not shy away from swift punishment if he caught her stealing from his chambers.
Instead of continuing down the stairs, Sigyn stops just past the judgment hall. She looks from side to side, assuming she is alone. In this peace, Sigyn places a few flowers at the door of Frigga's chamber, and kneels before it to give a silent prayer.
Loki is puzzled by this. He furls his brow uncomfortably, and he almost finds himself fighting back tears at the gesture. To think that this inconsequential girl would take the time to honor his mother, even if he did not know why, somehow brings him peace and discontent rolled into one. After a few tense minutes, Sigyn rises, and heads back down the steps.
She opens the door to her empty compartment, and absently lights a candle or two before reaching her hands behind her back and untying her robes.
"We still have much to talk about, don't we, Sigyn?" Loki appears on her bed, sitting coolly over the edge as if he'd been there all day. There is no accusation in his voice, and he says it almost teasingly.
Sigyn turns fast and lets out a small shriek of surprise; she clutches her hand to her chest and has to stifle her hyperventilation.
"Wha...what are you doing here?" She spurts out the words, half in anger, and half still in shock. Sigyn has to wipe her lip. She hugs her body, embarrassed that he caught her undressing, even though she is still fully covered.
"Oh, please, do continue," he says with a smirk, raising an eyebrow and folding his arms seductively.
Sigyn closes her eyes and tries to calm her nerves. "My Lord, what do you ask of me?" She ties her robes back together while she speaks, ready to take orders.
Loki's expression changes, no longer wanting to joke. His brow returns to its normal position, and he slightly squints his eyes at her.
"Must you always speak to me as a slave?" He pauses, waiting for her to say anything but the typical responses of a palace drone. "What happened to the girl on fire?"
"I...I'm sorry, my Lord. What is on your mind?" Sigyn makes scant eye contact with Loki, but cannot bring herself to stand straight up and face him; after all, she has only seen him in person as Loki a few times, and can still hardly believe what she sees. Her surroundings embarrass her compared to where he usually resides, and she wishes she had known to expect him. She might have even tried to freshen up her own appearance.
"That's better." Loki stands from the bed and makes a few strides across the tiny room, holding his hands behind his back while he interrogates. "You left a token before Frigga's room. Why?"
Sigyn stands completely still while she answers, allowing him to walk around her. "Today is an important day for me, my Lord." She is not sure she wants to share with him her thoughts.
"And that would be...?" Loki says, not sensing Sigyn's hesitation.
She does not respond at first, and just lets her mouth hang open slightly. Loki moves in front of her. Sigyn is staring at the floor, avoiding his gaze. Loki takes his index finger and raises her chin up to meet his eyeline, as he does.
"Today is the anniversary of my mother's death," Sigyn says, with tears welling up. "She served the queen for years before I did. Frigga felt like a surrogate parent to me, and now that Frigga's gone, I honor them both at her chamber." Sigyn sniffles, and closes her eyes while her tears flow down her cheeks. "I just left a few flowers from the great hall, I meant no harm."
"Oh..." Loki's expression falls, not expecting this. As he stands before Sigyn, he can't help but feel as if they are two orphans, mourning the same loss. He lowers his arm and allows her head to fall. "I am sorry for your loss, Sigyn."
"Thank you, Loki," Sigyn says, composing herself. "Is that all?"
"Yes...no..." Loki stammers his answer, lost in his own thoughts.
"It is not? What else do you wish to know?"
Sigyn finally has the courage to really look at Loki's face, as he is no longer staring at her. His hair is falling beyond his ears, onto his high cheekbones. He seems to be clenching his teeth, furling his brow, and having an internal conversation that she cannot hear. Loki looks up and gazes at her sincerely, and for a moment, Sigyn has a lapse of good judgment. She steps slightly closer to him. Just as he is about to speak again, a strand of his long, black hair falls in front of his eyes.
Whether it be out of desire or curiosity, she does not know. Sigyn leans forward, reaching her right hand out. Without hesitation, she brushes the hair out of his face.
"Your hair seems longer since I last laid eyes on you." This soft touch is quite unfamiliar to Loki, and it reminds him of how she touched him when he was in disguise before. Nevertheless, it is not entirely unwelcome. Instead, his eyes widen slightly, almost beyond detection, while she carefully tucks it behind his ear. His expression is still guarded, his lips almost pursed. Loki's gaze is not upon Sigyn, but on her hand, and how it moves back and forth before him. This goes on for a few moments in silence. Sigyn is making no secret of her admiration. Let this not be a dream, she thinks.
The only sound between them is their alternating breaths, and the loud purring of Tiwaz at Loki's feet, interrupting the moment. Sensing that she has overstepped her bounds, Sigyn relaxes her hand to take it away. Loki finds himself following her hand with his eyes. Loki registers a cold spot on his face where her hand brushed his cheek; Sigyn's touch is so tender and genuine. What are you thinking, you fool? he considers, tracking her movement.
Just before Sigyn takes a step away, Loki grabs her right hand in midair. She lets out a quiet gasp. He can hear her breathing, almost detecting her heartbeat, both of them unsure of this gesture.
To Sigyn, the few moments are an eternity. His strong, slender fingers investigate her hand. She wears no jewelry. Her palms are calloused; working hands, but not rough. A simple girl. Loki traces a scar on her thumb. Some kind of accident, no doubt. Sigyn's pulse is visible. He notices how warm she feels and thinks to himself, I must be so cold to her.
From Sigyn's perspective, she considers his touch thrilling and surprisingly tender. It is not as she expected, if she expected anything at all. But Sigyn does not register a temperature, only her overbeating heart.
In a quick motion, Loki lifts her hand up to his face again, palm to his cheek. He presses into her. They both say nothing. Sigyn notices him slightly grimace in the silence, and understands his gesture is a call to tenderness that he has been denied for too long.
