Well, here is it. The second to last chapter.
To Robot521, I'm so glad you read When In Rome and liked it. Despite the weird depiction of the Riddler (never cared much for the Riddler to look like Gollum from LotR...), it's probably the best series I read involving Eddie and Selina. I know I definitely had to swipe a copy of that kiss for future enjoyment. I loved the look of Catwoman in that series though. I'm not a fan of her short, spiky hair or the goggles really, but meh. At least she's not sucking Batman's face anymore, so...that's something...*awkward pause*...how hot are those Arkham inmate scrubs? Nice right?
Violeta27, I pretty much love the entirety of the Gotham rogue gallery, so I tried to stuff in as many of my favourites as I could. Didn't get the Clock King in there though. (Yes! I love the Clock King! Everyone stop your teasing! He doesn't have TIME for your bullshit!) When you wrote 'all your favourite villains in one convenient place', I had a vision of all the villains lined up on shelves like products in a grocery store. I'd shop there...pick up a couple Riddlers...and a Scarecrow for the ride home. Weyy! (did I use that correctly?)
~*Thanksgiving*~
She awoke to the feel of something cool resting against her breast, tickling it.
Before her fist could connect, she placed the form hovering over her in her bed and brought her fist to a halt, her knuckles an inch from his chin.
Eddie peered down at her, all blue eyed and inquisitive, his gloved hands on either side of her head, his tie resting against her.
Without even caring why or how he was there, and still half asleep, she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him down for a kiss. She hadn't even realized how much she missed the tall, lanky, elf until he was there, hovering over her naked form.
He deepened the kiss like it was the air that a drowning man needed and what began as a simple kiss became heated, needing.
"Maggie?" She asked, as he attacked her throat with a series of nips and licks.
"No, Eddie." He replied.
She slapped his head and he pulled away with a laugh, rubbing it.
"Ow…I know you dress like one, but I really want to go slow with the dominatrix thing, kitten."
Selina touched a hand to her chin. "I mean, how are you here and what about Maggie?"
Eddie smirked. "Ah, that. I was released and Maggie will be fine. I killed her bully."
"What?" His words were so simple, that it was almost tempting to believe them.
He laughed. "I resolved the problem, the bully's fine. In another ward, but fine."
Running her hands over his chest, Selina made a small sound in her throat.
"Safety word is 'turkey'," he teased, moving in to press his mouth to her jugular, gloved hand moving like a rogue towards her breast.
She slapped it away. "Let's not get too comfortable with the hands, Ed. How'd you get released?" She demanded. Now fully awake, she realized that perhaps kissing him wasn't the smartest move. After all, she didn't want to give him too much affection, he'd probably get used to getting it for free and she wanted to make him to work for it a little.
"Doctor Leeves said my breakdown was natural for someone like myself and let me off with a clean bill of mental health as long as I continue to see my Psychiatrist every week and take these pills he supplied. They taste like a sour chimp, but...I'm sure they're safe." He said, easing down onto the bed beside her, pillowing his head with his hands. "Truthfully, my acting was supreme. I looked him in the eye and in my sanest voice said 'I want another chance, Doc'."
"What about Maggie? Are you sure she's fine?"
Eddie smirked. "Of course. Hungry?"
"What? It's like…four in the morning." She griped.
He leaned in and enveloped her, smothering her with a kiss.
She pushed him away. "Calm down, Eddie. Let me brush my teeth at least."
He laughed. "I wasn't going to say anything."
Getting out of bed she padded to her bathroom to brush her teeth, Eddie waited in her room on her bed.
"You have a good set up here," he called out. "Hard to infiltrate a second time...considering you changed the locks."
She smirked and spit. "I was trying to avoid having you creep into my bedroom again."
"Can't keep a good detective out, my dear." He replied.
"Unfortunately."
"It's Thanksgiving today," he pointed out.
"Yup."
"Got plans? A date perhaps?"
She poked her head out of the bathroom, toothbrush in her mouth. "Maybe." She stood there for a moment longer, admiring the line of him stretched out on her bed, hands behind his head, legs crossed at the ankles.
"Blond fellow?"
"How'd you guess?" She asked, going back to her sink.
"Seems your type." His voice was just behind her, then. It startled her a little at how fast he moved, but then again his long legs only needed about three steps to cover the space between her bed and the bathroom.
Looking at Eddie in the mirror, Selina put her toothbrush back and proceeded to run water to wash her face with. "Actually, he's a lawyer."
"Oh, wonderful." He replied, pocketing his hands. "I'm sure he's the wunderkind of law school."
"He's supposed to be fairly brilliant, but that's not why I agreed to the date." She said. Turning around she pat Eddie's chest. "He's a hobbyist cyclist, beautiful body."
Eddie smiled, his teeth gnashed together tightly. "Fantastic. I'm very happy for you."
"Yay me." She stated flatly, splashing more water on her face.
"Ah, to celebrate the rape of the indigenous people with turkey and blond cyclists." Eddie remarked.
A gloved hand slipped around her waist and stopped above her navel.
Selina paused, waiting for the jealousy to come. The truth was, she wasn't expecting him to be out for Thanksgiving and had taken the date just so she wouldn't be alone on a holiday for the first time since last Christmas. The lawyer was just a date, someone to eat expensive turkey dishes with at a fancy restaurant.
But the hand dropped and Eddie stepped back, adjusting his cufflinks.
"Well, don't let him get fresh," he replied. "You're a lady and should be treated as such. Unless it's a really expensive place and he drives a great car, then you ought to bag and tag that one, as the youth of today might say."
She turned around to face him.
"Thanksgiving's a hollow holiday anyways, barely even a holiday." He grumbled, adjusting his tie efficiently.
"Maybe I'll see you at Christmas, Ed." She said.
He nodded. "Unless it's thirty dollar sparkling water and a jag."
"Exactly."
His first strike was ordering for her.
The man was gorgeous, but he was a complete and utter pompous ass and not in the Edward Nygma style of arrogance, either. This man was in a class all his own.
Still, he did drive a Bentley and the sparkling water was twenty-nine ninety-nine a bottle, but still he was an insufferable ass.
Strike two came when he talked to her breasts all night.
She tolerated it, because he was a typical man and men did tend to get overly excited when breasts were enhanced with a low cut sweater.
But strike three, strike three had been the big one.
Selina honestly didn't think men as blatantly chauvinistic as him existed anymore, but when the topic turned to famous women in Gotham's underworld, he had made a remark about how all the villainesses needed was a man to rein them in.
He meant for it to come out as a husband to tame them, she was sure, but any way you sliced it, it was still the wrong goddamned way and now she was faced with a decision, let him walk out with her or politely excuse herself, go outside and slash his tires without looking back.
Which brought her to the window outside Eddie's apartment, perched on the ledge, watching his back as he sat at his workbench.
She didn't know what it was he was working on, but she just enjoyed watching him wrists deep into something. He had taken off his suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves on his pinstripe shirt. The waistcoat he wore enhanced his trim figure beautifully, reminding Selina just why she had slept with him in the first place. He really did cut a fine figure.
The news that day had been how he came back from Arkham with no PI business to return to. Everyone was talking and no one was kind about it.
Once more Selina ruined someone's life simply by being in it.
She didn't ask him to fake a breakdown to get back into Arkham, but she did ask him to make contact with her sister which led to the decision.
Eddie's gloved hands carefully broke open a snow globe to extract a beautiful ballerina from inside it.
She was so fucking stupid.
Despite the fact that Eddie would always be the Riddler deep down. Despite all the years of them double crossing each other, this Eddie, the one who she had a feeling was the real one, had yet to let her down. Even when her and the girls set him up as bait, he didn't extort money from them or hold it over their heads that he was legit and they were still shades of grey, he just asked the where's, why's and how's before going on his way into the trap.
Fuck! He didn't even ask for payment.
And then he kept popping up and she thought it was because he had decided to annoy her like the Riddler had a penchant for doing, but…maybe he was just lonesome? Maybe he was like every living creature on earth, maybe he just wanted someone to notice him or listen to him.
She tapped softly against the glass with a finger nail and he turned from his work, peering over his ridiculous magnified eyeglasses.
As he opened the window, he asked, "did you have to rough him up?"
Did she look that bad?
"No," she said, touching a hand to her hair to ensure it wasn't crazed or wild looking.
Eddie raised a slender hand to brush her hair behind her ear to better see her face.
She hid her smile by touching a hand to her cheek.
Carefully, he wrapped his hands around her upper arms and helped her inside. "Was he unbearable?"
"Completely," she replied.
"Was he smarter than me?" He teased. Before she could answer, he touched his forefinger to the tip of her nose. "Trick question…no one's smarter than me."
"Bringing back some of the old Eddie arrogance?" She asked.
"I thought for old time's sake I'd try it out again. I wear it so well."
"I heard about your agency."
He reacted the opposite way she expected he would and laughed, pocketing his hands. "Yeah…don't worry, business was closed down because no one wanted to hire an unstable PI, but I have several talents up my sleeve and in time people will forget...they usually do. Tea?"
She nodded.
As Eddie moved off into the kitchen, she studied his workbench. Touching her hand to his current project carefully. It was a crude wooden box in the stages of being smoothed and etched.
"What are you working on?" She asked.
He came back to stand beside her, picking up the ballerina. "Maggie told me about a music box she had as a little girl. She said she played it until the music wore out. I thought I'd try my hand at replacing it for her for when she gets out of Arkham. It keeps my hands busy…truthfully I miss tinkering with things. One doesn't get to construct bombs as often as one wishes while on this side of the law."
Thinking of Maggie's childhood and the one she never had, Selina touched the ballerina in Eddie's hand. "You know, I still haven't seen pictures of you as a boy."
"Hn, well fair is fair, I suppose." He set the ballerina down and took her by the hand to lead her through his apartment into his bedroom.
She perched on the bed, still in her winter coat.
The last time she was in Eddie's bedroom on his bed was the first night they fucked…was it fucked or made love? She knew there was a difference, but she was sure it was merely splitting hairs.
The bedroom wasn't anything she'd expect from the Riddler in terms of decorating. Simple, earth colours, a heavy, old world wooden bed and a dresser. Beside the bed, on his night table, was a stack of books that nearly reached the ceiling and a pair of reading glasses.
She smiled thinking of Eddie sitting in bed reading, looking like an old man.
Stealing a glance to where he was deep in his closet, she leaned across the bed and picked up the glasses, putting them on curiously to judge the strength, before removing them and putting them back.
Wriggling out of her coat, she pulled Eddie's pillow to her chest and watched as he dug through his closet, his well polished Oxford's the only things sticking out.
Inhaling the scent from his pillow reminded her why she was there. It was Eddie. Eddie smelled of confidence and familiarity. He always had.
Eddie was unlike any man she had ever met. Even when he was the Riddler, he always seemed to hold her in some form of high regard, he was ten times more insufferable and unbearable then, but he was in more pieces back then. Now he was put together like a shattered vase, with veins of yellowed glue and a brittle appeal. Now he was composed, saner, but almost vulnerable. It was as though he were walking a tightrope, dangling over the madness that lurked inside him.
He returned to the bed with a safety deposit box and set it down between them.
"I haven't opened this in years," he warned. "Beware of old spores and dust motes that could kill."
She smirked. "Not to mention germs that could have been breeding and mutating."
Eddie adjusted his gloves. "Charming." Opening the box, he ran a hand over the top of the collection of things gingerly. "This is a brief summary of my entire life…if you squint."
Selina looked over the things inside, not touching, just studying them. It was almost sad to see that he didn't have many things in the box, but it was strangely familiar. Her own box was just as barren.
She plucked out the photograph of him as a child from where it lay underneath the other items.
If she thought he reminded her of an elf now, he was the perfect picture of an elf as a boy.
It was startling, though, to see him just as sombre in his youth as she had been. His pale, nearly transluscent skin was dark around his listless eyes, giving him a haunted look. He looked like a pitiful child, serious and desolate.
Behind him in the photograph stood a tall man who looked so much like Eddie, only dark haired, with narrow, almost cruel eyes and a proud angle to his chin. A woman, petite and prim stood there as well, hands clasped before her, head bowed ever so.
"You got your father's looks." She said.
"And my mother's hair."
Gently setting down his photograph, she eyed the box once more.
"Go ahead, tonight I'm an open book." He urged her.
Carefully she dipped her hand inside and pulled out a first place ribbon.
He snatched it away quickly and set it aside. "Not that."
She looked at the ribbon, where it had been cast aside. There was a dark stain ruining the blue satin and it was crumpled, something that didn't seem to fit into Eddie's clean, meticulous habits. "I thought you were an open book tonight?"
"Not that," he repeated simply.
Moving the box, she slid across the expanse, fingers brushing over his hand. "Please?" She asked, nuzzling against the underside of his chin. It seemed unfair to her that she had spilled everything about Maggie, but he didn't trust her enough to tell her the significance of the ribbon.
She bit her bottom lip. "Does it have something to do with your first death?"
Eddie swallowed thickly, but forced a smile. "How is a raven like a writing desk?"
Feeling cuddly, she carefully wrapped her arms around his neck and nuzzled against his throat, pressing her lips to his pulse. "Eddie?"
"Not going to chance a guess?"
Selina sighed. "If I answer the riddle, will you tell me about the ribbon?"
"That is how the game is played, kitten."
She smirked. His arrogance was clear, she didn't even have to look at him to know he thought she'd never guess it. "How is a raven like a writing desk?" She repeated.
"Not my riddle, but still a very poignant one…" he muttered.
"Poe wrote on both."
Eddie paused. Froze almost, before sighing. "It's hardly clever." He growled. "I would have also accepted-"
"Both have inky quills." She interrupted.
Sighing again, Eddie nodded. "Well, fair is fair…Are you sure you want to hear the story? It's not something beautiful." He said in a voice that barely sounded like Edward Nygma. It sounded tremulous and lost.
"I need to hear it, Edward."
He quirked a brow. "Okay…" he inhaled deeply. "Um, when I was…no." He began again. "My father was brilliant. He was destined for greatness, but in university he had an interlude with a pretty red headed first year and it resulted in my conception."
Selina fisted some of Eddie's shirt in her hand gently.
"He was raised to do right by the woman, but obviously wasn't ever taught how to treat one. He quit university to marry my mother and took a low paying job in some plant.
My entire young life, I was constantly reminded of how he gave up his 'destiny' to cater to a 'useless brat' and a 'ungrateful woman'. His correction methods were always violent, but never brutal. A cuff upside the head here or a boxed ear there. Now, I should remind you, he wasn't just some low-brow punk, my father came from wealth, but it had slowly dissipated after he was born. He always carried himself well. Dressed in suits and silk ties, well polished shoes and cufflinks that sparkled.
I was never the centre of attention, my advanced intellect made me a mediocre student at school - I was too advanced to care about silly projects and put no effort into them - and my awkward social graces made me a ghost in the halls.
Then one day in grade five there was a contest. Solve the puzzle fastest and win a ribbon. It was a silly sudoku.
I didn't intend to win, I just solved the puzzle.
But I won," he fingered the blue ribbon Selina held, fingers whispering against hers.
"It was the first time I felt like anyone saw me. All the children in the classroom were looking at me. I had gained some form of attention and mild acceptance. I raced home, I don't know if I thought perhaps it would imbue some camaraderie between my father and myself, but I was eager to show him the prize I had won." Eddie stopped short, eyes on the wall across the room.
Selina felt around in the near darkness for his hand and laced her fingers with his. "Eddie, you don't have to…"
"No, it's okay," he cleared his throat. "My father, when I got home, my father accused me of cheating. Said I stole the answers beforehand and cheated. My mother was out getting groceries, so there was no one to interfere on my behalf when he dragged me into the basement." Again he hesitated.
Maybe she shouldn't have pushed…her story about Maggie didn't seem to affect her half as badly as Eddie's story was affecting him. He would break and Selina would be responsible for ruining his life once again.
But, with a deep breath, he pushed on firmly, hand gripping hers. "I can't recall what happened, whether my mind is blocking it or whether the injuries prevent recollection, but I do remember a small, fuzzy feeling of being cold and the smell of blood and urine.
I woke up two weeks later in the hospital, my jaw was wired shut, my body was battered and beaten and my father was long gone." He touched a hand to his chin. "To this day, I can't understand why he did it...whether he saw me as a threat to his intellect or whether he just had enough of me..."
She didn't know what to say to that. Words didn't seem like they would have any power.
Blinking, Eddie made a small sound in the back of his throat. "You're the first person I've ever told that story. Not even the Doctors at Arkham could wrench it from me."
Leaning up, she pressed a kiss to the underside of his chin. "Anyone tries that with you now I'd kill them." It just sort of fell out, but curled up against him as she was, Selina's maternal instincts had kicked in, couple that with the sight of the Riddler as a boy, only cemented her desire to wrap her arms around him to keep the darkness away.
This brightened his countenance and he angled his face down to stare at her, nose to nose, his hand removing itself from hers to rub at the tears that was sparkling in the corner of her eye. "Don't pity me, my dear."
"I don't," she shook her head. "If anything, I have little more respect for you."
"Ah, the man who battled his father and lost."
"You were only little, it wasn't a fair fight. I'd imagine if he tried that now, you'd lay him out." She replied, her finger sliding over his waistcoast, seeking out the scar she had given him.
"I'd like to see him try," he said, "from beyond the grave."
Eddie's tone said enough about how the old man may have died.
Turning her eyes back on the box, she smirked and pulled away from him, snatching up a cheap plastic ring, "what's this?" She asked, changing the subject swiftly.
Eddie touched it. "There was this cute little brunette girl in my first grade class, I wanted to marry her. What was her name…? Anyways, it took me about twenty five dollars before that rolled out of the machine."
"Aw…" she teased.
"Raquel, Raquel Velázquez." He mumbled, ignoring her.
"Didn't turn out, I take it."
Eddie scowled. "She pushed me into a mud puddle." Unwrapping his arms, he pushed to his feet. "Tea…"
Picking up the box, Selina followed him, settling on the couch in his living room as he puttered around the kitchen making the tea. Maybe it could be the best Thanksgiving she ever had and turkey wouldn't even be involved.
