Rule #101

In accordance with rule #51, students are not allowed hum/sing a theme song as they go through the halls

(I was singing The Sex is in the Heel)

(A bunch of people joined in)

(Even Dumbledore)

(He's awesome that way)

oOo

Rule #102

Students are reminded that yelling 'Boom, baby' when they Apparate is not allowed

(It was during the class we had to take)

(And trying to Apparate into that hoop was boring)

(So I made it more fun)

(Examiners are boring)

oOo

Rule #103

Saying that you wish to enslave mankind and have Snape be your sexy manservant is not a career choice

(Though I wish it was)

(But it's probably best that it isn't)

(All that paperwork)

oOo

Rule #104

Telling Fudge that he isn't as tasty-looking as his name suggests is not recommended.

(He went red)

(So did I)

(Stupid dare)

(The Daily Prophet thought we were having a scandalous affair)

(Fudge didn't comment)

(I said I was too busy shagging Snape to look at other men)

(Bad idea)

oOo

Rule #105

Following rule #104, announcing that you are shagging a teacher is not allowed.

(Snape got way too upset)

(So I got my own back after all those detentions)

(I'm a great avenger)

oOo

Rule #106

Telling Draco that he is the last of the dragons is not allowed

(He didn't get it)

(So then I made him watch the movie)

(Then he was pissed)

(He's so touchy)

oOo

Rule #107

Telling the first years that they can get drunk from Butterbeer is not allowed

(It's a lie anyway)

(I was curious to see how they react)

(It was hilarious)

(They all thought they were drinking underage)

(Worth the detention)

oOo

Rule #108

Magically amplifying your voice does not make you the Dragonborn

(That's what they think)

(I'd be an awesome Dragonborn)

(My minions are behind me on this)

oOo

Rule #109

In accordance with rule #108, Dumbledore is not the leader of the Greybeards

(I asked him if he could teach me the Thu'um)

(He just looked at me and said I was 'not yet ready to harness the Voice, Dovahkiin')

(Dumbledore is on an awesome roll here)

oOo

Rule #110

Do not lick Trevor

(It's weird)

(And Neville finds it upsetting)

(Poor Neville)