Chapter 11
The next two weeks passed by in a blur. Q kept himself in shape, running each morning and walked around for most of the day. He bought loads of things for his apartment, everything from mugs and cutlery to a MacBook and a new coffee table for the lounge. He got a chance to check the bank account in detail and was very surprised when he saw how much SHIELD pays its agents, at least it explained how Barton could have that big a house in central New York. He had put up the painting and had gotten a few other pictures to decorate the walls and a few plant pots to brighten up the place. He found the place feeling more like his everyday he lived there.
It was just a shame that he hadn't seen his friends much. Barton had gone away with Coulson on some top secret project in Santa Fe and Nat was galavanting around Russia where she would be for months. At least he had time to spend on remodelling the side room, which he was fast calling his Playroom. He had completely renovated it, creating an ultra modern weapons lab with workstations and a mini firing range. It would be perfect for working on his passion projects, like his staff had been whenever he wanted. Upgrading his staff with the new Mithril hadn't been difficult, the metal was remarkably easy to cast and his tests had proved it incredibly strong. It had withstood forces of up to a ton and hadn't bent.
He had also found out a bit about his neighbours, to the left of him was a young doctor. She worked at Mount Sinai Medical Centre, training to be a surgeon. She was pretty good at it apparently, because when he looked her up he saw a possible recruitment tag on her file in the SHIELD database. To his right was an elderly widow whose husband had be some oil baron, she was nice enough and had Q help her catch one of her many cats when it had escaped.
He thought that his arm would be in a cast for another three weeks, it was just a shame that none of the healing effects that Captain America had were passed to him. But his time of lazing at home and watching the movies that Coulson had got him had to end and after two weeks he was ready to go back into work.
Walking through the front door of SHIElD felt completely different to when he left it two weeks ago. Today was just a normal Monday morning and people were coming into work after a relaxing weekend. He had had to catch a bus into work which felt both humiliating and somewhat satisfying because it was close to normality, still Q was determined to get his own car.
The news had filtered through the whole of SHIELD about what he had done and all Q could see on people's faces as he walked in was a look of reverence on the face of every person around him. He was just a sixteen year old boy who was wearing a standard issue trousers and t shirt and a bright pink cast around his arm who had happened to save the world two weeks ago.
He crossed the room and got Into an elevator on his own. He had a meeting with Fury so he said "37th floor," and the elevator zoomed up, depositing him on Fury's floor. He remembered the last time he was walking across here, being very quite and ready to kill. He felt a lot calmer this time, his heart not pumping and his senses quite dull. He walked to the door at the end of the hallway and knocked on the office door, the door swinging open and Q stepped inside.
Fury was sitting on the sofa near the door. There were two sofas facing each other, with a small table in between them. Opposite Fury sat a older man with greying hair, Q thought he recognised him from somewhere.
The two men stood up as he walked into the room, the older man reaching out to shake his hand. He took it giving the man a long shake.
"Councilmen Piers, it is a great honour to meet you Agent Jacobs. I have to say how proud we all are of what you have accomplished." The man had a big smile, that felt quite forced though Q thought that is could possibly be real. Maybe the man was just a politician.
Q smiled back at him, "thank you sir, but I was just doing my job."
Piers looked at Fury and laughed. "You make them modest as well. I've got to go now, my job never ceases. Remember Fury, I work twenty floors above you so no excuse to be a stranger."
Piers quickly left the room and Fury motioned for Q to take a seat at his desk. They sat down on opposite sides of the desk. "Don't worry, Pierce is one of the good guys, I haven't seen anyone so dedicated to our cause."
"I've read your medical report Q, Dr Hope has recommended a further two weeks off of any physical activity but I know that you already plan to not listen to that so I'm going to leave your physical training to you and just say that you won't be back on the active roster until you've passed a physical and mental assessment." Q grimaced of the thought of having someone poke around in his head. "We've set you up with a desk in Barton and Romanov's office, I've spoken with Coulson and he has accepted my transfer of you to STRIKE team delta so from this point on he is your official handler. He would also like you to know that you have not filed any mission report yet. Fury felt far less intimidating now, after Q knew that the man wasn't trying to kill him.
Q took his cue to leave and left the directors office. Making his way down to his own desk where he found a new Mac and half a stationary in the drawers. Q heard the door lock behind him and he turned around panicked before hearing his communicator ping,
"Automatic protocol with my team, you can't leave the office until you've filed the report - C" Q grimaced at the message.
The rest of the day passed by quite quickly, Q just working on his report before submitting it to Coulson who was out working in Santa Fe. He heard the door click open a minute after he had finished and his communicator pinged again.
"What, with no brake out attempt. Almost disappointed - C"
Q didn't like to think about what methods Coulson had put in the office to keep Barton motivated to finish his reports but Q decided not to find out.
He had nothing to do for the rest of the day so Q decided to head down to the weapon labs where he showed Doctor Kleinheart his new Mithril staff, which the doctor was duelly impressed with and the two of them spent the rest of the afternoon working on improvements to the design.
Q dropped into bed that night feeling satisfied with his day, he just wanted everything to get back to normal, or at least as normal as it did in SHIELD.
He actually managed to enjoy the rest of the week, he had started intensive Qinjet lessons which were going very well. The jet is actually easier to fly then the helicopter or few planes that he had flown in his training were. It was just as simple as push the stick and go. He had also gotten back into physical training, trying to get himself back into peak physical shape but he still had to be careful with his broken arm. He had even had to babysit Lilia and Connor for Laura while she pulled a long shift at the hospital.
His week didn't get especially exiting till the Friday where Q finally got the chance to go car shopping. It didn't take him long to find one he liked, a Ferrari F12Berlinetta. It had a beautiful body with a hugely powerful engine that purred when he first got in. The dealer was shocked when he rocked up ready to buy, Q guessed that not many sixteen year olds bought the latest model of Ferrari but once his cheque had passed the keys were handed over he had taken it home. He was bursting with ideas of what to add on to the car, though he wasn't quite sure if he could fit a rocket launcher behind the headlamps.
At least one one would bat an eyelid at the car. If his license or plates were run, they would be an automatic block placed so no questions were asked about it or the driver. Though Q was pretty sure that HR would be on his back if he was caught speeding.
The weekend passed by quickly with Q just working on his new car. Minette, the young doctor who lived next door to him was amazed by the car. Q laughed when she first came down and saw it but he was slightly worried that she got the wrong idea, because she immediately asked when where the police coming to take it back to its owner.
He was dreading Monday though. Q had his psych evaluation to check that the last few weeks hadn't left him a drooling vegetable. It would be completely pointless as he knew the answers to the questions that would make him look sane anyway but orders were orders so on Monday morning he found himself sitting in a small office on a mid level floor of the New York HQ.
His psychiatrist was twenty minutes late and Q had spent that time texting Coulson about how pointless this was and Coulson texted back everytime telling him to suck it up.
Q twitched round as the door opened and a young girl walked in. She couldn't have been more than seventeen or eighteen with long blonde hair that fell in slight curls and a beautiful body that was quite petite but still looked good. God this must be some secretary who will tell me her boss is late. To Q's great surprise she sat down opposite him, placing two large coffee cups that she had been carrying with her on the desk.
"Sorry the line in Starbucks was awful, I guessed what you want but let's be honest, who doesn't love the White chocolate mocha." She spoke with a British accent and looked him directly in the eye as she talked. "It's good to see that I didn't have to have Fury drag you down here, not many agents like their psych evals. I'm Doctor Waters but you can call me Amy. I take it that it's ok to call you Q?"
Q nodded at her before speaking, "it's... Um good to meet you Doctor Waters, I just expected someone well..."
She laughed, "older? Says a sixteen year old agent" she passed one of the cups to him. Q took a sip of it, it tasted ultra sweet and delicious. "I'm the youngest Psychie we have here, I only got my doctorate a month ago just after I turned seventeen but I am still the youngest doctor in America right now. I graduated High school three years early so here I am."
"Well I was abducted into a secret soviet super soldier program as a toddler where I then grew up in an assassin training facility where I killed every other boy my age whilst going rough one of the most rigorous training programs that would be impossible for a normal human to survive." Q wasn't sure why he had said it. He had just opened up more to this young doctor than he had to anyone else excluding Nat and Clint. And he felt totally fine about doing it. He felt the shock pass over his face and knew that Amy had picked up on it.
"Well I can't say that you case isn't individual but I can say that you are handling it remarkably well especially considering the last few weeks. I take it you've been settling well, enjoying all the perks working for SHIELD gives you?" Q just nodded again, not wanting to give anything more away.
Amy didn't let that stop her and she continued one, "I've got some basic boxes to tick, have you been having any residual effects from the last mission? Any flashback, phantom pain, strange noises?" Q shook his head again, he felt that he had been able to move on from New Mexico quite well.
"Any trouble sleeping?" Q shook his head again, "no nightmares?" Q hesitated for a second and knew that he had just been out manoeuvred. Amy leaned forward before reaching into a desk and flicking a switch. "There we go, the recorder is off. So you have been having nightmares, I suppose it's only natural with what you've been through. If I was to ask what they were would you tell me?"
Q just sat on his chair motionless, he felt a hand grip his stomach and twist it. What did he want to say, what did he have to say? "They... They're not about the mission, they are in... In the" Q stuttered
"The Red Room." Amy spoke softly with a calming tone. Q shrank back in his chair, trying to remove himself from the conversation. "Q, it's ok, you can tell me. Just trust that I will be there to help you."
"They... They are all from the same time. It was after." He faltered again, "after what Nat, Agent Romanov was forced to do. After that I was put in the corridor, I was so small and voices were all around me and I didn't know what to do. I just walked and fell, barely able to hold myself up. There were flashing lights and pulsing orbs, I saw a lady. The lady. At the end of the corridor. She took my hand and pulled me into the room at the end. There was a chair, like at the dentist and I was strapped in. I could still hear the voices. They were singing or screaming. They pushed needles into my arms and chest. It burned, it burned so much. I screamed and screamed but there was none there. I just blacked out, my mind went blank and that's where I wake up. It was all part of their plan you see, their little experiment. They broke my mind, because that's what would stop the serum working and then the serum snapped it back. Though I don't even know if I'm the same person as I was back then."
Q hadn't noticed but Amy had gotten up and sat next to him, she had put an arm around him and once he finished speaking she pulled him close into a hug. He felt a few tears fall down his face but was shocked to see that there were also tears in Amy's eyes. He felt bad now, he had upset her. "I'm... Im sorry I didn't mean to"
Her smiled cut him off. "No, it's just, that story. You've gone through so much and you are still here, fighting on and saving us all. Any normal person would have given up by now."
They sat in silence for a time after that, just watching each other. Q was glad to have met Amy Waters. He realised that he had met a true friend today. After about ten minutes of silence Amy got up and walked to the door, opening and motioning for Q to follow her. "Come on, I want you to meet someone."
Amy drove him across town to the VA. Q felt out of place amongst these soldiers but Amy just strode through. A few people acknowledged her, shaking her hand. She turned and spoke quietly to Q as they were walking past a large group of people. "I do life coaching classes here, helping some people get back on their feet after the things they've had to do. I want you to meet someone here." She walked to a door at the far end of the building before knocking politely on the door. "Can you wait outside for a moment."
Q sat on a chair opposite the door, trying not to listen in on ten conversation going on inside but he couldn't help himself.
"Think of it as a trial run, he's gone through worse than most people have in their entire lives, just let him sit in on one of your sessions, it will help a lot."
Q heard a deeper mans voice, "fine, you know me, I'm not going to turn down someone who wants some help. What happened to him."
"I can't really say, but he has one of the best passive faces I've ever seen, I couldn't tell whether he actually was broken inside or was fine until I spoke to him." Passive face? What was that supposed to mean.
The door suddenly opened and Amy stepped out with a large African American man who was tall and slim, with well built muscle.
"Hey Q, this is Sam Willson. He gives speeches here to some guys who are having pretty bad times. We are gonna sit in on one of those talks today if you are up for it." Q nodded and then shook the hand offered to him by Sam.
"Amy said you've been having a hard time getting your life back together. I don't want to imagine what a kid like you has gone through but if you need anything I'm here to help, at least for another few weeks. I'm heading on up to DC soon." He had a kind face but Q could almost see through the facade to the battle hardened warrior that was lay inside of Sam.
Q and Amy followed Sam through to a hall with some chairs in it and the two of them sat near the back to listen. Loads of people filed in to watch. Q didn't realise that there were this many people who needed help from people like Sam. Sam was standing at the front, reading through some notes and greeting the occasional person.
Once the hall was nearly full of people he walked over to a mic and pulled it to the front. "It's great to see a bunch of you back here, and good to see that some others were grave enough to come to." Q was sure that Sam looked at him. "We've all gone through things, things we've never wanted to go through and that we all just want to forget. Except that we can't. They stay there, at the back of your head. They destroy your life, make you unhappy all the time. We have got to face them now, before they bring you down so low that you can't ever pick yourself up. That's the only way we can ever move on."
Sam sounded like he had a lot of experience with pain and trauma in his life. San went on to ask other people what happened to them. One person was shot, one was blown up. One man was the only one to survive his squad being wiped out. Q felt dread course through him. He didn't want to hear these peoples problems. He didn't want to hear there pain and to feel it just add to his own. He heard himself start breathing hard. His eyes darted around the room. He had to get out he had to escape. He couldn't be here any more.
He was snapped back to reality when he felt a hand rest on top of his. He turned to see Amy smiling and holding on to him. She leaned in close to him and whispered in his ear. "It's ok Q, let it go. Let all the pain go, you are stronger than in. You can. You just have to believe in yourself." He felt his breathing slow had she known what he felt, how the pain he felt was coursing through him. He felt that pain leave him, flow out of him in every new breath he took. The air felt fresh and crisp in his throat. The room smelled brighter, Q could see a sunbeam glow behind the curtain.
Sam had just finished his speech as Q's panic ended and he quickly got up and left the room, he felt Amy almost run to keep up with him. She caught his arm as he was about to leave the building. He looked into her eyes, noticing for the first time the bright blue that shone from them. "Q talk to me, are you going to be ok?"
"Thank you, you've helped me a lot." Q heard sincerity in his voice.
"That's good to hear at least, I'm going to pass your psych eval, on one condition though. You are going to have sessions with me every week. I'm going to help you Q no matter how much you resist." She had a wicked glare on her face and Q trusted that she would try to help him at least.
"Ok then. I will, err, see you next week." Q said with a quiet voice and Amy turned around to go back into the VA. Q felt confused, he wasn't sure about Amy. She seemed like a nice person and she had helped him, but then he didn't even know how he felt now. He hadn't noticed that he had been carrying around emotional baggage until he had just let it drop and he felt some much lighter and freer now but he also felt a little confused s out what to do now.
Q realised that he needed to clear his head and he took of running down the street. He was running at full pace, barely fast enough for people to follow him with their eyes yet he still did get some stares. He didn't care though. He felt free of everything, his mind going blank as all he felt was the wind through his hair and the vague buzz of the city around him.
Somehow he ended up in the park near his apartment where he had spent his birthday with Clint and Nat. He looked at the watch that was on his wrist and smiled at the memory of that day. He also knew that Nat's knife was in his jacket which also made him feel a bit safer.
Suddenly he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, he looked across the park to see a big black SUV with tinted windows. Q strained his eyes to see inside the car and could make out the outline of someone that was looking at him. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his staff in its small form before suddenly jumping up from the bench and racking across the park.
He could see the figure start and fumble inside the car but Q was already half way across the park. He pressed the middle button on the staff, elongating it to its full length before vaulting the five foot high fence that surrounded the park.
The car engine had started and the man inside was trying to pull out but Q grabbed the knife out of his pocket and threw it as a wheel, puncturing it and causing the car to lurch. He jumped up on the bonnet and drove the end of the staff through the window. He felt ripples along his arm as the glass was much stronger than he anticipated but he still managed to puncture it. He then kicked out sending shards flying everywhere and most of the window screen was missing.
There was a big man inside, hands gripping the steering wheel. He had long blonde hair and huge muscles were taught under the suit he was wearing. The man pushed open his door and fell out of the car, running a few meters before pulling s gun out of his jacket.
Q acted fast and flipped over the man, landing behind him and bringing his staff down on his hand, knocking the gun to the floor. The man roared out and kicked Q in the stomach.
It felt like a freight train had hit him, but he wouldn't let pain bother him. There were people around so he needed to end this fight fast. Q lashed out with his staff, sweeping a low blow that hit the man in the knee causing a loud crack from his ankle. The man roared out again as he stumbled but was quickly silenced as Q spun the staff around and hit the man in the head, bringing down to the floor.
Whilst checking that the man was unconscious Q pulled out his communicator and called in a SHIELD response team who were on the scene in less than five minutes. Q tried to keep his face down as a crowd of people had gathered around after the brutally short fight and Q didn't want his face on the news. Thankfully the SHIELD clean up crew backed the crowd away and Q was soon transporting the man to a holding cell back in HQ.
Once the man had woken up he had been marched into and interrogation room. Q quickly followed him inside.
"Why were you in the park today? To watch me? To kill me?"
The man didn't move an inch. It was odd, the man wasn't a mercenary or he would have come up on SHIELD database which only meant bad things. This guy was from some top secret enemy organisation and only one was out to get Q.
He switched to Russian when he next spoke. "So you were there to, what? Bring me back. You knew it wouldn't be that simple. You trained me to me to well for that"
The man laughed again and spoke back to Q in Russian, "ha, no kid. My job was to find out how to bring you back. At least I found that out before you brought me in. My job now is just to sit and wait."
Q was about to shout at the man as his communicator pinged. He looked down to see a message from Sam Willson.
"Have you seen Dr Waters, she hasn't signed in for her afternoon appointment."
Q's eyes widened and he felt his stomach drop away. The man started laughing again. Q head a crack of glass as he looked up. Foam was spelling out of the man's mouth, a cyanide capsule. He launched himself across the table, punching the man across the jaw.
"I will get her back, you understand. And when I do, I will kill you all." It didn't matter, the man was dead. Q got up from his seat and walked out of the room, nothing but murder in his heart now.
