Chapter Eleven

Buffy walked to the bathroom hearing the two men bickering at each other. They were never going to grow up. But she anticipated that this would happen, she just had hoped Spike wouldn't have walked in on them sleeping with each other, in the literal sense of the word, although if it had been possible, she might have found herself doing more than just sleeping with him. She had suppressed her feelings for him for so long that it was almost unbearable being that close to him. She still wasn't sure what she was going to do with Spike, how she was going to make him understand that in the end she wasn't here looking for a relationship with either of them.

Walking into the bathroom she looked around at its spacious size, it wasn't until she was completely undressed that she realized she had left her clothes in the other room. She sighed and went to open the door but could still here them arguing with each other. Figuring Angel would be gone by the time she stepped out of the shower, she would just resort to getting her clean clothes a little bit later.

The cool water felt good against her hot skin. Angel had failed to turn the air conditioning on, after all it wasn't as though he could really feel the heat as she did. She leaned her head back under the water, letting it fall down her body and comfort her. Last night had been exactly what she had been looking for, exactly what she had needed for the past year. Falling asleep there, with him holding her sent her into the best sleep that she had been able to achieve in such a long time.

As she started to clean up she allowed memories of the past with Angel to return to her. One in particular stood out, because it was on that night, their relationship changed.

The paused on the docks, and Angel set the box down before turning to face her. This wasn't how the night was suppose to go, it was her birthday, they were supposed to be having fun, dancing, laughing. It was just another telling sign of how not normal her life really was.

"I have something for you, for your birthday. I was going to give it to you earlier but…" He voice trailed as he took the small ring from the leather pouch. She looked at it, and then looked up at him as he held it out towards her, his other hand holding her hand.

"It's beautiful."

"My people, before I was changed they exchanged this as a sign of devotion. It's a Claddagh ring." She looked at it closer as he began to point out what the symbols on the ring stood for. "The hands represent friendship, the crown represents loyalty and the heart… Well you know… Wear it with the heart pointing towards you. It means you belong to somebody." He held his hand up over his chest and showed her his. ". Like this."

She realized that this was probably the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her. Leaning towards him she kissed his hand and looked up at him, she could see the love in his eyes and it filled her up, having to watch him leave for however long he was going to be gone was going to be unbearable, even though she knew he would be back, or he would at least try to come back.

"Put it on." He said softly, as she held her hand out towards him and he slipped it on.

"I don't want to do this." She said, referring to him leaving. The present was beautiful, he was beautiful, this wasn't how she wanted the night to go, she wanted to spend it with him.

"Me either."

"So don't go…" She begged, his arms wrapping around her waist and pulling her closer to him. He shook his head and lifted her chin towards him before leaning down and softly kissing her lips.

"Buffy I…"

She realized that as she was standing under the water, her hand was playing with the finger that had once worn the ring. Although she never wore it anymore she did still have it, but it was too painful to even see it so she had locked it away in a box. She turned off the water and pulled one of the towels off the rack, wrapping it around her body before stepping out.

After drying herself off, she wrapped the towel tightly around her body, gathered up the clothes that were strewn across the floor from the previous day and made her way out into the main room where her suitcase was standing. She had noticed that the two of them had ceased their bickering and had figured that they had both gone to the office so she was startled when she saw Angel sitting on the bed, his eyes following her making her cheeks blush a bright shade of crimson.

"I'm uh… I'm sorry." Angel stuttered, not able to take his eyes off her, even though he knew it made her uncomfortable. He stood up and walked to the other side of the room to avoid eye contact. He ran this fingers through his hair trying to figure out what to say next, she always seemed to render him speechless when there were important matters to be discussed. "I'm sorry for that, and for this morning. We behaved, well, I behaved like a petulant child and it was wrong of me to do that to you. It's hard for me to realize that there was time when we weren't together and you were with someone else and knowing that, kills me." He turned to face her, noticing that she was clad in only jeans and a bra. "I can't lay claim to you. I left you alone. And I think that I had hoped that you would never have gotten over me but that's crazy because it's the reason that I left."

She pulled a shirt over her head and looked at him. "I'm not here for a romantic relationship Angel. I'm not going to deny that last night felt really good. But I'm not going to say that I don't have feelings for Spike anymore either. I love you both and this is confusing for me too. To see you both here, working together, that makes me so happy that you were able to get over your differences and use your strengths for the common good and I don't want to be the person that messes that up. I still love you Angel, I know you know that, but I can't let myself get involved with you."

He looked to the ground. He knew that what she was saying was the inevitable and it was the truth. Them together just wasn't going to work out.

"That doesn't mean we can't be friends. I want us to be friends. I want us all to be friends, you, me, Spike. We need to be friends, we need to be able to work together and not have romantic entanglements with each other. So you need to get use to seeing me with Spike just as much as he needs to get use to seeing me with you. You are both so special to me, I hope that you know that." She was trying so hard to convince herself that she wasn't in love with him anymore that it sounded absurd in her mind. All she really wanted to do was run over to him and jump in his arms, kissing him like she had imagined so many times since he had come to visit Giles.

He watched her and she was terrified that he could read her mind. He walked closer, until he was close enough that he was able to reach out and touch her arm. His cool hand felt like butter against her skin and he looked down into her own eyes. For a minute, she forgot to breathe. Her heart told her to kiss him, to let nature take its course but her brain told her to stay away because heartbreak was the only potential outcome.

"Will you at least still stay here? With me? So that I can make sure that you are okay?" She could hear the anguish in his voice and he reached down and pushed some of her blonde hair off her face. She felt as though she was rendered speechless, she wanted to open her mouth but words just weren't able to come out. His tenderness was exactly what she needed, what she was longing for. His hand still lingered on her face and she leaned into it, nodding her head as she watched the smile appear on his lips.

He was about to lean down to kiss her forehead when her brain kicked back into gear and she took a step backwards. "I should go downstairs. Get to work. I'm sure Spike can show me around so I can get my footing."

He watched as she walked out the door on her way to the office and he sat down on the bed trying to figure out what was going on. She would tell him one thing but then act in a completely different way and her behavior was confusing him. He just wished that he knew what was going on in her head, in her heart so that he could try to protect himself from the repercussions of her being around. It wasn't only her who would be hurt, but he was going to get hurt as well and he had a very keen sense that Spike wasn't going to come out of this all that happy either.

Meanwhile

Spike paced around his office. He was trying to figure out what he was going to do to win Buffy back, or if that was even possible for him. He thought that he had gotten over him, it wasn't like he was acting like Angel, that little ninny who had been impossible to work with for the past year, brooding and in a foul mood. Now, seeing her, having her so close to him sent him into what felt like another dimension. All the past that he had bottled up to try to rid himself of seemed to float to the surface.

"Hey Spike." Buffy said as she walked into his office and he turned to look at her. Without thinking, he marched straight up to her, wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her with all the passion that he could muster. To his surprise she didn't push away and after a few moments he released her to find Angel standing in the doorway watching the whole ordeal with his fists clenched.

"Hey peaches." Spike grinned and Buffy turned around, caught off guard and surprised. She stood to the side trying to figure out what to say, what she could do to make this look better, it wasn't as though she kissed him, he took her by surprise.

"I suggest you run." Angel said looking at Spike. However, Spike didn't move and Angel advanced, ready to punch the smirk off Spikes skinny face.

Quickly, Buffy moved herself between the two men, holding Angel back by pushing on his chest. "Don't do this." She told him, trying to catch his eye to reassure him that nothing was meant by the kiss on her end, how could it when he was all that she ever thought about anymore. Nevertheless, it didn't work, Angel kept moving and before she knew it, his fist went straight for Spike's jaw.

A/N: Okay I'm hoping to keep writing this week but if not this might be the last chapter until Wednesday or Thursday. Leave feedback and let me know what you think!