A/N: I'm so sorry I haven't updated for so long. I just haven't had any inspiration. It's no excuse, I know.

This piece...is quite saddening. I don't know. I'm just in the mood for a sad piece, I guess. I mean, I could try to write a happier chapter, but my heart just wouldn't be in it. It would just seem forced, you know?

Disclaimer: I don't own Ouran. If I did, this chapter would never exist.


They say folding a hundred paper cranes can grant a wish. A single wish. Just one. I don't know if it's true. And I don't care. Because right now, I'd try anything, anything, if it means you would stay. What would it take for you to stay? I love you Hikaru, more than you'll ever realise. I know this love is wrong, it's disgusting, and it's a feeling that you'll never return. But seeing you so happy with her… it breaks my heart, Hikaru.

So I started folding paper cranes. 1…. 2…. 3….

As I fold, I think about what I would wish for. I could wish for life to go back to how it was before we joined the host club, before you met her. I loved the way your whole world was me, and my whole world was you. I didn't want that to change. Just you and me. Nobody else. The way your eyes locked onto mine when you looked at me always seemed to drag me into a daze, like I couldn't pull away from those gorgeous golden eyes. And I knew, Hikaru, that I could never leave you.

10... 11... 12….

I could wish for me to never have fallen for you. That would be nice. We could just stay as brothers, and life would be so less awkward. I noticed, Hikaru, the way you've been avoiding me. You try to hide it, but I notice everything you do. The way you tense up slightly when I hug you, the way you pull back a bit when I cuddle up to you. Such small actions, but the pain you cause me is so great.

20…. 21…. 22….

Or I could be selfish, and wish that you loved me back. I wonder what that would feel like, not having to hide all this. I'm a mess, Hikaru, because of you. But having you return these feelings, that would be a dream. A dream I'm afraid to ask for, afraid to even think about. Because that could never happen, and thinking about it only brings me sadness.

30…. 31…. 32….

I could wish for you to stop loving Haruhi. You don't have to love me, Hikaru, but I can't bear seeing you love someone else. It's selfish, and it's mean. I know that. But there's no one to understand me. No one with me. No one to see me crumble and break down when you hold hands with her, and lean in close to her, kissing her. I'm broken, and you're not there to fix me. I hate you for that. I hate how you're not here when I need you most. How I wish that it was me in your arms, Hikaru.

40…. 41…. 42….

I could wish that you just married her and left me. Would that take away the pain? I really don't know. But anything would be better than this. Why? Why did I fall for you, and allow myself to be so tortured by you? It's stupid, because I know the answer to that. You're my life, my reason, my everything. No one will ever make me feel like this again. But I know I won't wish this. Because if I could no longer see you, then there's no point in living. Not anymore.

50…. 51…. 52….

Maybe I could just wish for myself to love someone else. I've tried to persuade myself, you know. But it never works. Because you're just so perfect, Hikaru. We're so similar, yet so different. You're so much more beautiful, so much more handsome than I could ever be. Your smile seems so much brighter than mine, your voice so much more inviting to listen to. I know, without a doubt, that in a room with a million people, I would only look for you.

60…. 61…. 62….

I could wish for someone, anyone, to just find out about my horrid secret. It doesn't even have to be you. I could be taken away from you, and all this could just end. But I wouldn't be happy. How would that make you feel, Hikaru? Seeing me upset? Does it still concern you like it used to? If I went up to you and started crying now, would you still hold me and wipe away all my tears, staying with me until every last tear had dried up? Would you still cuddle with me at night and stay awake until I've fallen asleep? And would you still keep me close the next day just to make sure I'll be fine? I used to be so sure that you would, but everything's changed now.

70…. 71…. 72….

Perhaps... I should just wish for me to be gone. Without me, you could be so much happier. You would be free. Yea, that sounds lovely. If I never existed, you could be yourself. I love you, Hikaru, and if that means I have to die for you, then that's what I'll do.

80…. 81…. 82….

I could wish for Haruhi to leave you. You would be left alone, and I could fill up the spot. I don't mind being a replacement, Hikaru, as long as it will let you love me. I don't care if the love you express towards me is because I'm replacing Haruhi. All I want is for you to love me like I love you. Brotherly love just isn't enough anymore.

90…. 91…. 92….

It's almost finished. I could make my wish soon. I look up, and see you with her. You radiated happiness, and your smile glowed. I haven't seen you for a while, so I really didn't know how you felt when you're with her. I see it now, and I know it's more than I could ever offer you. She makes you happy, and I guess, in a way, that makes me happy.

100.

I know what I have to wish for. It's because I love you so, so, so much, Hikaru, that I know I have to wish for this. Maybe I've always been in denial, because the answer is so obvious; it's right in front of me. And I'll do it; I'll give up everything I have, to make sure that smile stays on your face. Thinking back, that may be what I love most about you; the grin that lights up your face and makes me feel as though I'm flying. It will hurt, of course it will, but as long as you keep laughing, then any sacrifice I make will be worth it. Because even if it means I cannot be beside you, I know this is the right choice. And before you leave for real, let me say it one more time. Just once, then I'll let go. Forever. I love you, Hikaru.

"I wish for Hikaru to be happy."


A/N: Thanks for reading guys! Please leave a comment about how that turned out!

I know it's meant to be 1000 paper cranes, but for the sake of this chapter, let's pretend it's 100, OK?

As usual, happy reading and writing! Hopefully I'll have more inspiration soon...
LaLa the Screaming Fangirl