Chapter 11

Two weeks later, Jack had flown down to check everything out and to introduce himself to his commanders. It was certainly going to be different but he did know a couple of the guys and thought it would be something he could learn. The job did take him to Nellis AFB in Nevada from time to time they said but never more than a few days.

Jack found a house for rent just outside the base and signed Charlie up for school before flying back up to Minnesota and getting a moving truck for their things. He was also going to need to go back to Wright Patterson and get that house cleaned out so it was a long trip. The Air Force provided the moving truck but Jack, Sara, and Charlie had to follow in their vehicle.

Once settled, Jack reported to work on time and he was assigned to the 21st Space Wing. He was finding the new job interesting though not nearly as exciting as what he had been doing. Even though he had transferred, they did send him on a couple quick missions but he always returned quickly.

Charlie had been a whiz kid in school and had joined the baseball team and had many friends. Jack looked forward to returning home each night to play ball with his son and enjoyed spending time with his wife and son.

As the winter rolled through, Jack and Sara had found a wonderful house she fell in love with so they decided to take the plunge and purchase their first home. It had been a bit of a drive for Jack but if she was happy, so was he, and he liked the idea of raising Charlie in a small town off base.

As Jack learned more about the program he was send out on more missions and began really learning the ins and outs of nuclear warheads, bombs, missiles, and was often found in the air over various test sites deploying various weapons.

One spring, Charlie had been pushing for Jack to play ball with him again to get ready for baseball season and Jack did play as often as possible. One day, Jack had come home, went upstairs to change into civilian clothes and saw Sara outside so he went out and sat next to her, giving her a welcome home kiss. Charlie had come running over to give him a salute and a hug and asked him to play ball but he had just been too tired. He suggested to his son, that he find one of his buddies to toss the ball. Charlie was upset and ran back into the house.

About twenty minutes later, Sara and Jack heard a gun shot and the first thing they thought of was Charlie's safety. Jack immediately grabbed for his concealed weapon which he carried off duty but his heart sunk when it wasn't there. They both called to their son as they ran into the house and found him bleeding and unconscious. Jack lifted him as they ran to the truck to get him to the hospital.

When they arrived, the doctors and nurses did everything they could but Charlie was gone. Both of them collapsed to the floor crying. Their only son was dead and with Jack's gun.

The priest had taken them to the chapel section of the hospital where he said a prayer. Over the hours they were there, Jack had made phone calls to people such as his CO and Sara's parents. Her parents were getting on the next flight to Colorado and told them they would meet them at the house. Jack and Sara drove home without speaking to the other. After everything they had been through, all of the sudden they were uncomfortable with each other. That night they slept in the same bed but never touched. They both needed each other but neither could cope, the shock was overwhelming.

In the morning Jack had gone to the airport to pick up the in-laws. They each gave him a big hug and their sympathies and he drove them back to the house. Jack was holding himself solely responsible and Sara knew it. Her parents were not great supporters of firearms but having been in the Army, Mr Anderson understood Jack had to carry for his occupation but he was irate over the fact that he left it where the boy could get it.

The following day after the funeral, they had all gone back to the house with friends but Jack was nowhere to be found. Later that night Sara found Jack drunk and sitting behind the shed. She sat with him for a while unsure what to do. After a few minutes she tried to talk to him but he was just too drunk and was crying into the palms of his hands. When it began getting dark she helped him back to the house and put him to bed.

The following afternoon, Sara and her mother heard yelling from the back porch and found her father screaming at Jack who just sat and said nothing. Sara was feeling the same as her father but would never say it and would certainly not be yelling at Jack knowing he was taking so hard. Deep down she knew Jack had always tried being very careful with his weapons and had taught Charlie how to use them properly but the sadness didn't stop breaking her heart.

Jack was just in his own zone and when Mr Anderson stopped, Jack just got up and left. When Sara saw him going to his truck she tried to stop him but he just drove away ignoring her. Over the next few days Sara had tried calling him but there was no answer on his work phone. She didn't know where he was staying but tried all the local hotels and motels with no luck and any messages she left at the base were not being returned.

Everyone had said he just needed time to grieve, let him have his space but after a few more weeks of no contact, she gave up. His friends had said he was staying at the base and was just like a zombie, going in to take care of things, disappearing for a few hours, and returned to his bunk. Her parents had decided to stay with her as she was not ready to leave the home she and Jack had made and didn't want to leave Charlie, it was all still too fresh.

Over the next few months she continued to keep current with how Jack was doing through friends, mostly the wives of his team and once and a while she would stop by the cemetery and see someone had been there and left something, sometimes just a stone, one time a baseball was left, one time a matchbox car and she knew who it had to be. Her heart hurt so much over the loss of Charlie and it was ready to burst losing Jack as well. She needed him in order for herself to get through the loss of her son but he was not there, he ran.

When it came to her attention that Jack was being deployed, she was very upset and didn't feel he was mentally ready to go out in the field and didn't understand why his CO would allow it. She had no idea that in his mind, it was an almost certain suicide mission. She still loved her husband and didn't understand why he couldn't love her back. She wasn't sure she could ever forgive him but she could try to overcome it if he would come home to her.