A/N: I am sorry this took so long! Writing this chapter kind of resembled wading through a deep, muddy field. Or through snow drifts. Your choice. I had the feeling I wasn't getting anywhere!

Thank you to AngstyShenko and Vorcha Girl for your reviews on the last chapter. They made my day! And again a special thank you to Vorcha Girl for helping me with the fine-tuning. You are awesome!

As always, Bioware still owns ME.


Chapter 11. Citadel, Again

They docked at the Citadel at shortly after 1000 due to a delay in the docking process. During the whole time Shepard stood behind Joker's seat, drumming the fingers of her right hand on his headrest, evidently impatient to get things done. Joker tried hard to ignore the constant thrumming. It was distracting. After a few minutes Joker looked up at her annoyed.

"Commander, could you quit doing that? It's driving me nuts. I can't help it if Traffic Control is so slow!"

She stopped and went out to Kaidan and Ashley who were waiting just outside the cockpit in front of the airlock.

"What's taking so long, Skipper?" Ashley asked.

"Delays at Traffic Control. Our docking request hasn't been processed yet," Shepard grumbled. She was not looking forward to the task at hand. Telling the admiral his missing platoon had been lured into a trap and killed by a thresher maw was not on her list of favorites. She looked at Kaidan and Ashley. Both were wearing their Dress Blues, just as she was. It may be a little formal but it was her way of showing respect to the marines. She was rather surprised to see Ashley wearing the skirted version.

Of course Ash has the legs to wear the skirt. Wish I had nice long legs like that, she thought. Shepard shot a glance at Kaidan. And Kaidan sure cleans up nicely.

Kaidan looked every inch the Alliance officer he was. She ran her eyes over his body appreciatively while he was not looking and involuntarily licked her lips as she scanned his broad shoulders and lower. When she looked up again she saw Ashley grinning at her and Nick felt herself blush. She shook her head ever so slightly, annoyed with herself. She had to admit this was more than just appreciation of a good-looking fellow officer and, truth be told, she was almost a little scared when she realized she had fallen for her Lieutenant. Luckily Kaidan was unaware of the whole incident.

Shepard tugged at her collar. She had never enjoyed wearing her Dress Blues but sometimes it was necessary and that wasn't the only reason she was feeling uncomfortable. When she heard Joker mumble "Finally!" she went back to the helm.

"Joker?"

"You can head to the airlock, Commander. We're clear to dock," he answered.

As they stepped out of Normandy's airlock into the docking bay a short time later she noticed an Alliance officer waiting near the elevator. The officer waited until they had closed the distance between them. Shepard kept her face neutral as her mind registered the rank insignia. A Rear Admiral. Whatever could he want from them? They saluted.

"Admiral, we weren't expecting you. Is there something we can do?"

The admiral did not answer right away. Instead his gaze lingered shortly on her before moving to Kaidan and Ashley and finally resting on the Normandy. His expression almost turned to a scowl as he saw Garrus and Wrex exit the airlock, followed by Liara and Tali.

"Quit the pleasantries, Commander Shepard." He made her rank sound almost like an insult. "You don't know who I am, do you? I'm Admiral Mikhailovich from the 63rd Scout Flotilla and the Normandy was originally designated to be put under my command. But then the council got their tentacles, claws, paws, whatever, they got 'em on you and the Normandy. This is a snap inspection. I want to see if everything is in order."

"I am sure you will find everything to be up to par, sir," she replied, keeping her voice polite.

"I just bet it will," the admiral huffed as he swept past her.

"What an ass," Shepard muttered quietly as soon as he had passed out of earshot. "Looks like we have to wait until the admiral finishes his inspection."

"Was that 'Admiral' with a capital 'A' or just plain 'admiral', Commander?" Kaidan asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He couldn't believe the condescending attitude of the admiral towards Shepard. Ashley snorted and Shepard gave him an appraising look.

"Careful, Lieutenant, that almost sounds like criticism of a superior officer," she replied with a wink.

"I would never do that, Commander," he said with a perfectly straight face.

"Uh huh. The answer to your question is he probably thinks it should be capitalized but it wasn't." Shepard glanced towards the airlock. "Somehow I have the feeling he will look for anything not Alliance-standard and complain about it. And we have plenty of 'not Alliance-standard' aboard. I know I've seen him before, but I just can't place him, godammit."

Shortly afterward the airlock opened to reveal an unhappy looking admiral. He stalked back to them with a grim expression on his face. Shepard and her shore party stood at attention.

"I am not happy, Commander," he stated.

"No surprises there," Shepard retorted quietly.

"Commander," he said severely, pointing a finger at her. "I suggest you secure your mouth. It is going to get you in trouble!"

Shepard glared at him but remained silent as the admiral embarked on his list of complaints. The layout of the CIC, the large amount of credits the Normandy had cost, the fact that she had aliens on her crew, just about everything seemed to rub him the wrong way. Shepard was aware of her temper rising with every complaint but she plastered a smile on her face and tried answering in a respectful manner. Mostly.

"Many visionaries were the butt-end of jokes in their time. Just think of the first U-boats or tanks! And I can holler with the best DIs, Admiral. Apart from that my crew knows when to cut the chatter." She couldn't quite keep the icy tone out of her voice.

"There are two ways I can take that comment, Commander, but I see your point. I still believe they should have tested the design in a simulator before building it. They could have built a heavy cruiser or two hundred fighters instead, Commander. It's a warship. And that means it is supposed to find and destroy the enemy, not count how often they use the head!"

Shepard shook her head.

"Sorry sir, I disagree. Isn't the idea of a scouting party that they are there to find out about enemy movement without being detected? That is what the Normandy is built for. She isn't designed for a stand-up fight. The Normandy was built for stealth and, in case of detection, for a quick retreat. Our IES grants the former and the Tantalus drive core the latter."

"Perhaps. The amount of credits used still seems disproportionate to me. The Alliance could have built a cruiser for less. And what about your alien crew members? The Normandy is still an Alliance military vessel and you are risking Alliance security by allowing non-humans aboard!" The admiral still looked unconvinced.

She took a deep breath. This was what she had been afraid of and this was surely a time to keep her temper in check. Shepard squared her shoulders and smiled.

"Admiral, maybe we have to show less distrust to our allies if we expect them to accept us fully. What kind of secrets are they supposed to exploit? The turians help design the Normandy. Most of the innovations are based on turian design. The asari have been traveling space a whole lot longer than humans. They believe their ships to be superior, so they will only be marginally interested in our ship designs. Anyway, the asari on my team is an archeologist and an expert on protheans, not space travel. And Tali, our quarian, is teaching my people in engineering a thing or two. CHENG Adams is very happy to have her. He believes her to be a valuable asset to the team and if my CHENG says that, then I agree with him. Engineering is his domain, not mine. That is why we have experts." She spoke with true conviction. In her mind it was as likely that a human could betray her as a non-human and she believed in giving everyone a fair chance. If someone aboard did not follow instructions, and thus endangered a mission, they would quickly find themselves dropped off at the next planet or space station. And in her opinion she would be a poor commander if she couldn't take the advice of her specialists.

Mikhailovich looked hard at her. Then, barely perceptible, he nodded his head. "Very well, Commander. I may not agree with you in all points but I believe you will use the Normandy to your, and her, best abilities. My report to the Joint Military Command will be more favorable than I had intended. Good hunting, Commander."

They waited for a moment as they watched the admiral walk away. Shepard exhaled the breath she had been holding slowly. Kaidan could hardy believe the rear admiral had let them off so easily. He looked at Shepard with admiration, certain that no other commander would have been able to change the admiral's mind. She is incredible.

"Well," Shepard quietly said, "that went better than expected. We'll just have to wait and see just how favorable that report turns out to be. And now let's get this unpleasant business with Admiral Kahoku done. Lieutenant, do you have the dog tags?"

"Yes, Commander," Kaidan answered solemnly. Shepard shot him a short smile that sent a warm feeling spreading through his chest. He felt he could bask in that smile forever.

"Good. Let's go. The sooner we get this done the sooner I can get out of this damn dress uniform." She walked off towards the elevator, leaving the other two to follow in her wake.

The elevator ride was silent apart from the news broadcast about the resolved hostage situation of Chairman Burns. Somebody must have decided to give the press a little more information for the broadcast mentioned that Shepard, and more importantly Kaidan, had been the ones to appease the situation. Shepard snuck a short glimpse at Kaidan to see if he reacted to being mentioned on the news broadcast in any way but he kept his face impassive, only the faintest hint of a blush colored his cheeks. She returned her eyes to the front just in time to see the elevator doors open and reveal...Khalisa Bint Sinan al-Jilani. Shepard managed to suppress a groan of annoyance. She was definitely not in the mood to deal with the press, much less with al-Jilani, after the snap inspection from Mikhailovich.

She practically swept passed al-Jilani, ignoring the insistent calls of "Commander Shepard! Commander Shepard!" behind her. And she did not turn around, even at the Rapid Transit terminal.

"Is she following us?" she asked no one in particular, keeping her eyes fixed on the terminal as she punched in their destination.

"No, Skipper. She stayed glued to that spot in front of the elevator," Ashley said after throwing a quick look over her shoulder.

"Great," Shepard muttered sarcastically. "That means she'll still be there when we get back."

They continued their way to the Citadel Tower and found Admiral Kahoku near the communications terminal where they had first met him. He saw them approach and his face fell. It was obvious they weren't returning with good news. Three Alliance marines in dress uniform walking his way with serious expressions on their faces was not a good sign.

"Commander, have you found any sign of my marines?" he asked nonetheless, hoping that there had at least been some survivors.

Shepard bowed her head and then stepped forward.

"Admiral, I am sorry to inform you that the entire platoon was KIA." Shepard glanced over her shoulder at Kaidan. "Lieutenant."

Kaidan stepped forward and handed Kahoku the box containing the collected dog tags.

"Sir," Kaidan saluted, "these are the dog tags we were able to retrieve. Unfortunately not all."

"What?! How..." The admiral stared at the box.

"It was a trap." Shepard's voice was grim. A remnant of pain flashed through her eyes, barely discernible. It passed so quickly Kaidan wasn't sure if he had really seen anything. "Somebody place a distress signal in a thresher nest and lured them there. They were obviously caught completely unaware. I am sorry, Admiral. As Lieutenant Alenko just said, we retrieved as many tags as we could. Unfortunately some were completely dissolved by maw acid."

Admiral Kahoku dropped his head to his chest. He inhaled slowly before lifting his head again, clutching the small box containing the dog tags.

"Thank you, Commander. I...have some things to check. And I must inform the families."

"Do you need any help with that, sir?" her voice was soft. She did not envy the admiral. Delivering this kind of news was one of the toughest jobs Alliance soldiers had to do. She had done it after Akuze, had gone to every single spouse, sibling, parent of her fallen comrades. Everybody told her that other personnel would handle it but she had insisted it had to be her. Hackett had been the one to cave in, saying that he wasn't one to argue with a Shepard. It had been hell and it hadn't helped her find the closure or consolation she had been looking for. She still remembered the sometimes rather unveiled accusations along the line of 'Why are they dead and why are you alive'. As much as she knew it hadn't been the intent of those left behind to hurt her it still had.

"No, Commander. You have done enough. But...if I find any information on who might be responsible, I will contact you."

"I will gladly be of assistance, Admiral." She bowed her head in acquiescence.

The admiral nodded and walked away. Shepard exhaled slowly and turned around to her squad mates.

"Now let's get back to the Normandy. Before we go to the Embassies to meet with this Nassana Dantius I want to be geared up properly. And whatever happens, don't react to al-Jilani!"

As they walked to the Rapid Transit terminal they became aware of a salarian inspecting? examining? a keeper. After a short conversation Shepard agreed to help the salarian to collect readings of the keepers. Truth be told, she was almost as curious as he was to find out what exactly the keepers did. Or where they came from.


They returned to the Normandy without any incident and went to the Embassies to meet with Nassana Dantius. On their way they met Samesh Bhatia, whose wife had served in the 212 on Eden Prime and whose body had not been released for burial by the Alliance. Of course she would take care of that as well, not only because the 212 was Ashley's old unit. Luckily the Alliance official responsible was at the diplomats' bar in the Embassies. Unfortunately he kept saying things such as 'it is possible that Bhatia saves more lives in death than she ever did in life'. Nick had just about had it today. Her temper was nearly boiling again.

"Shit like this is not what I risk my life for every fucking day!" she hissed at him. "The man wants to put his wife to rest so he can mourn her according to his belief and you tell me he can't because she might save more lives in death? Fuck this! Listen to me, because I am in no mood to say it again. Before running tests on a marine that was KIA you get the approval of their nearest kin, you got that? And now, release her." Shepard held her head high, nostrils flaring, her blue-gray eyes flashing.

"But Commander, you have to understand our position! We have to run these tests." The Alliance official began defending the decision in an almost condescending manner. "And I am sure you wouldn't risk a diplomatic incident over one fallen soldier." That was definitely the wrong thing to say. Both Alliance soldiers accompanying the commander bristled at those words the official noticed.

Shepard stepped forward with one foot, leaning ever so slightly to the front. This guy was asking for a serious punch in the throat. Her stare was icy, as was her growled reply. "Just try me! I hate having to repeat myself. Release her. Or I will invoke Spectre authority. And that is a promise!"

The official realized that he was maneuvering on thin ice and held up his hands in defeat. "I will order the release immediately."

Nick's stance relaxed and she smiled sweetly. "Thank you. That wasn't that difficult, was it?" The Alliance official looked slightly taken aback at the swift alteration of her mood. For a moment he had been certain she would have shot him, consequences be damned. And now that she had achieved her goal she had this almost angelic smile on her face. She turned away from him and addressed Kaidan and Ashley. "Let's find this Dantius woman. And she had better have something important for us to do or I am going to blow shit up."

Kaidan gave her his crooked half-smile and shook his head. Ashley laughed quietly. Nick couldn't help but grin back at both of them.

Nassana Dantius turned out to be an asari diplomat whose sister had been kidnapped by pirates, slavers, Dantius wasn't sure. Unfortunately she had paid the ransom already. Nick shook her head. Stupid. Nonetheless, they would keep an eye out. Shepard sighed audibly as they stepped back out of the Embassies and headed to the elevator down to C-Sec.

"Alright, you two. You've been running around the Presidium with me for what probably feels like hours now. I thing you've earned a few hours of liberty before we head for Feros. I told Garrus, Liara, Wrex and Tali to meet me at Spectre requisitions in," she glanced at the clock on her omnitool, "ah, ten minutes and then maybe I'll head to that new place on the Wards. What was it? Flux? I think it's time for those drinks I promised before they made me a Spectre."

"That sounds perfect, Skipper," Ashley grinned. "Wouldn't you say so, LT?"

Nick turned her blue gaze to Kaidan and time around him slowed again. He could have sworn they were the only two people in the universe. He blinked and cleared his throat, hoping his voice would work properly.

"Yeah, sounds great," he answered, his voice sounding raspier than ever.

He was rewarded with a dazzling smile from Shepard before she turned her bright gaze to Ashley. He closed his eyes briefly. Remember she is your Commander.


Shepard should have known that she would find more work at Flux. She really should have. She just had to say she would talk to this woman's sister about the dangers of working undercover in a 'gentleman's club'. She still cringed at the expression. It was a strip club and she certainly didn't find that kind of entertainment gentlemanly.

Maybe I have some kind of complex, I am constantly agreeing to help people, she mused.

And it had all started out so nicely. After visiting Spectre requisitions with the non-humans on her team they had all made their way to Flux. They had somehow managed the incredible feat of securing a table large enough for all of them, including Wrex. As they drank their first round of drinks Shepard couldn't help but overhear the conversation between the bartender and one of the serving girls, Rita. And of course she had to inquire for more details.

"Okay, who is willing to forego the drinks for now and see what this undercover cop business is about?" she looked expectantly into the round. Ash gave her a look that could not have said You've gotta be kidding any clearer. Wrex mumbled something about C-Sec and Liara looked uncertain. Nick turned to look at Kaidan, Garrus and Tali. There seemed to be an increasingly heated discussion going on. Shepard was certain she hadn't seen the young quarian so...lively. She caught something about 'omnitool' and 'micro-processing'. Apparently they were just so enthralled by tech that the moment the three of them were within talking range they inevitably turned to talking about, well, tech. Okay, Nick thought, we'll do this differently then.

"Alenko, Vakarian," she almost barked, addressing them with her Commander-voice. "You're with me. We've got work to do."

So, instead of happily drinking at the bar, she found herself heading for Chora's Den together with Kaidan and Garrus. Jenna did not prove to be very compliant. Actually, she was almost haughty in her demeanor and Nick felt inclined to slap her. To top things off a turian had bumped into her on their way out feigning intoxication and told her to meet him at C-Sec.

Now, after being berated by the C-Sec officer for almost blowing Jenna's cover, they were on their way to acquire some illegal weapon mods. Chellick was right, she thought glumly as they headed for the market booths on the Lower Wards. She should have thought of that on her own. In retrospect she had acted damn foolishly.

Why didn't Alenko and Vakarian speak up? They must've realized my mistake right away. Hell, Garrus definitely should have known, he was ex-C-Sec, after all. And Kaidan always thinks of everything. No way in hell he didn't see the flaw in my actions.

She gave both a short look and noticed a slightly pinched look around Kaidan's eyes and a pallor that was unusual. Then she remembered that Chora's Den had given him a migraine the last time they had been there. God, sometimes she sucked as a commander. She turned to face him as they waited for an elevator.

"Lieutenant, are you alright? Do you have another migraine coming on?" There was true concern in her voice and it warmed Kaidan's heart, though he knew she showed the same concern for anybody in her squad. "I know Chora's Den gave you a migraine last time. I should have remembered."

He smiled briefly. "It's no problem, Commander. Don't know why that place gets to me like that. Flux has flashy lights and loud music as well and I'm fine there. It'll pass soon."

"Oh, it gets to me as well. It just doesn't trigger a migraine in my head." She gave him another look. Kaidan returned her gaze steadily and she realized he was already less pale. Those chocolate-colored eyes with their golden specks were like magnets. She could gaze into those eyes forever, feeling almost oblivious of their surroundings. As much as she liked Garrus, she really wished she could find some time alone with Kaidan. Maybe when we're back on the Normandy… Biting her lower lip she looked away. Stay professional, Nick, stay professional. Remember, you are his commander!

Kaidan watched her bite her lip and found it ... arousing. He willed down his tingling biotics. Does she even realize just how hot that looks?

The elevator doors opened and they stepped inside. Most of the time the elevators on the Citadel tended to be surprisingly empty. This one, though, wasn't. It wasn't cramped but there were too many people inside to keep a professional distance. Eyes glued to the front, Nick reached out to touch the panel only to brush against the back of Kaidan's hand instead, sending shivers of delight down her spine.

Kaidan couldn't suppress his biotics this time. Tell-tale wisps of blue danced from his fingertips up to his elbow before he managed to get them back under control. He closed his eyes briefly and when he opened them he looked over at Garrus, wondering if the turian had noticed anything. Garrus looked back with what Kaidan assumed to be an expression of amusement. Damn it.

As soon as her fingertips brushed against Kaidan's hand she had known whose hand it was. Her head snapped to the side and she saw the wisps of blue before they dissipated. Her eyes found Kaidan's and saw that the usual whiskey-color was drowned in whirls of blue energy before he closed his eyes. She felt her knees trembling. Damn. It.


When they arrived at the place of delivery it took all her self-control to take the mods, pay for them and let the smugglers go their way. She felt her fingers twitch. She really would have preferred arresting the lot of them and she was fairly certain Garrus and Kaidan felt the same. It was a good thing she had Kaidan along, she reflected. Garrus was as much a hothead as she was, but Kaidan was... cautious, yes that was the right word. Always. It was funny, his presence alone made her more even-tempered. She couldn't remember ever meeting such a controlled and level-headed person. That was why she nearly always took him along. Oh, quit trying to fool yourself.

They made their way back to C-Sec and she took the time to scan a few more Keepers on the way. Garrus tilted his head to one side and clicked his mandibles lightly.

"You do know there are a number of laws here all along the line of 'Do Not Disturb The Keepers'?" he finally asked. Shepard looked at him with a slightly baffled expression.

"A shitload, more like. You've gotta admit though, they don't seem very 'disturbed', do they? And anyway, I am quite curious about this research project myself. Lieutenant," she turned her head toward Kaidan, "do you think the keepers look disturbed?"

Kaidan glanced at the keeper who just continued doing whatever it was they did. "No, Commander. It doesn't look any more bothered by us than by any other passer-by."

"My thoughts exactly. And anyway, if anybody complains I can always pull the Spectre-card as last resort. If it should really be necessary." She shrugged lightly.

"Is this one of those 'exceptions to the rules' you told me about the other day, Shepard?" Garrus' two-toned voice sounded almost amused.

"Geez, Vakarian. I don't think I'm endangering anybody's life by holding a scanner in the direction of a keeper. Or do you expect one of them is going to, I don't know, explode or something?" Shepard put a hand on her hip, cocking it slightly to the side as she shook her head.

Garrus laughed. "No, you're right. It doesn't matter."

"Damn right it doesn't." She gave him a mock glare. "Now let's get back to Chellick. He'll want these mods. And then we get our asses back to Flux. I have at least one beer with my name on it waiting for me there!"


A/N: I am still not happy with this chapter. It is choppy. All this running around on the Citadel kind of stopped the flow and I just couldn't find the right moment for some proper Kaidan/Shepard-time...Or maybe it's just my inability to write. Sorry, I'm feeling a little depressed. It'll pass.