CHAPTER 10
MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
"Very well," Hammond said. "Be ready to go at 1600 hours. Be armed and ready in the gate room. Understood?"
"Um . . . what is—"
"That's four pm."
"Thanks. Sir."
One hour. Not much time for a nap. Zim cursed as he threw his head back and tried to close his eyes. Sleep refused to come.
After attempting to nap for about 30 minutes, Zim gave up and suited up. With a short stop at the armory, he made his way to the gate room (for which he no longer needed a map). Jacob waited for him, as did DD, Paisley and Pervdoz.
"How's it going, Pervdoz?" Zim asked.
"Life sucks, as usual."
"I miss you on Facebook, what with your Simpsons obsession and your addiction to IMGUR."
Pervdoz rolled his eyes. "Like you know anything about it."
"All right," Jacob said. "There are only two Ancient repositories that we know of. One of them was destroyed, but the original is still in the small room we learned about from Heliopolis. We're going to travel there, and each of us will try to download the Ancients' knowledge."
"What if that doesn't work for us?" Zim asked. "We're not exactly the A-cast here."
"It's got to," Jacob said. "For SG-1's sake."
"Seventh chevron locked," the sergeant in the booth said.
"Jacob," Hammond said, "you are a go."
The Stargate shimmered, and Jacob led the way through, followed by the rest of the Red Shirts. Pervdoz did not look up from his phone, not even when he stepped out the other side.
The planet looked completely different from anything else Zim had seen so far. Maybe they'd transported themselves into HR Giger's mind. But there was something built into the wall that looked like a giant Viewmaster. Zim hoped they had some Mickey Mouse on it.
"Okay, Zim," Jacob said. "Step up and give it a try."
"Why don't you try?" Zim asked.
"Because I'm in command here. I have to watch your backs. Just do it."
"Why do I feel like I'm about to stick my dick in a glory hole?" Zim approached the Viewmaster and gingerly put his face up to the screen.
Nothing happened.
Zim stepped away. "Oh well." Not feeling very disappointed.
DD bellied up next, and nothing happened. "Maybe I'm not smart enough."
"Step aside," Paisley said. He pressed his bald head up to the screen, and when nothing happened, he refused to step down. "It's got to work. Rico can't stay dead."
Nothing.
"Come on, Pervdoz," Jacob said. "It's your turn."
Pervdoz let out a frustrated sigh as he pried his eyes away from IMGUR on his phone. He pressed his face against the screen. "There. Happy?"
Two hands shot out of the wall and gripped his head tightly, holding him to the Viewfinder screen. Lights shot out at him and passed through his eyes directly into his brain. Pervdoz gasped, trying to close his eyes, but he had no power to resist. Finally, the thing was done with him and dropped him to the floor.
Jacob approached. "Are you all right?"
"Ugh. It nearly blinded me. But I'm fine." Pervdoz stood up. "Let's get the fuck out of here. I'm tired."
"I never thought I'd agree with you more," ZIm said. "It's nap time."
Jacob dialed home and activated his iris code. They stepped through and arrived at the gate room. The Stargate powered down behind them.
Hammond approached. "Report."
"It worked," Jacob said. "It downloaded into Pervdoz. Now, all we have to do is wait for him to be, uh, inspired."
"Great," Zim said. "I'm going to my bunk, get some—"
Pervdoz ran up the stairs to the observation booth. He pushed aside the sergeant. "Hey! What are you—"
"I don't know," Pervdoz said. "I feel like something wants you to know something."
He typed furiously, and Hammond watched over his shoulder. It soon became apparent that he was dialing out to another planet. The Stargate turned on, and the sergeant turned to Hammond. "Sir, I know this address. We've been here before."
"Well?" Hammond asked. "What is it?"
"Altair."
"Why there? What's the point?"
"I don't know. But someone really wants these Red Shirts to meet Harlan."
"Are we a go?" Jacob called out from the gate room.
Pervdoz looked at Hammond, waiting. Hammond said, "You're a go."
Just as Jacob and the Red Shirts went through the Stargate, Hammond turned to the sergeant. "How many years have you been working for the Stargate project?"
"Eight years or so, sir," the sergeant said.
"I still have no idea what your name is."
"It's—"
"Don't tell me. I don't' want the mystery spoiled."
