Oh God, people, I'm so, so sorry that this took me ages to upload, but I was super busy with uni, had to go back to the hospital, and I was also kind of stuck with some parts (fucking writer's block, seriously!). I hope you're still reading and enjoying this story, and I really appreciate all the comments and follows and everything. I'm gonna try to upload the next chapter faster than this one, but I can't promise anything. And now enjoy some angst and fluff and the two ladies who are so gonna be canon on the show, I can't even. xx
It was the next day, and Emma was sitting on one of those extremely uncomfortable chairs apparently every hospital had to make the time you had to spend there even worse.
In the bed to her right lay Regina, pale, exhausted, and a complete emotional mess.
While there luckily hadn't been any more blood, and an ultrasound had at least let them hear the baby's heart sounds, the doctors had wanted to run some more tests, just to make sure the baby wasn't actually in danger of dying anymore. For now, everything seemed to be alright.
Emma had probably never been more relieved in her whole life.
She had spent the night at the hospital as well, because she didn't want to leave Regina alone, especially after this had happened as a result of the last time.
Yes, she felt guilty. Although it probably wasn't, she still thought it was her fault that Regina had almost lost the baby. If she hadn't run, if she hadn't caused the brunette heartache, who knew if this would've happened.
Emma hadn't really slept, which was partly due to her guilt and worry, and partly the doing of that horrible, horrible chair she was sitting in.
But Regina had gotten some much needed rest, and for Emma that was about ten thousand times more important than her own wellbeing at the moment.
Or ever, really.
Somehow, the other mother of her son had assumed a role in the Emma's life that justified putting the brunette first. Maybe it had to do with the whole savior thing, maybe it was just what you did when you were head over heels in love with someone (because how was the blonde supposed to know how that felt), or maybe she was just completely insane.
At the end of the day, Regina was simply important to her.
She wasn't sure if, now that she was back in the picture, things would be just as before, if Regina still wanted her around in situations that weren't life or death, but she sure hoped so.
They had had sex, for God's sake, and then Emma had just abandoned the other woman (a decision which she still couldn't explain properly).
Regina seemed to be able to read her mind—maybe she actually could, Emma thought, and she was quick to think of something else, just in case—because she cleared her throat.
"Are we going to... talk about what happened?"
"We should, shouldn't we," the blonde hesitantly answered, giving the other woman a nervous little smile.
After gathering her thoughts for a moment, Regina formulated her first question.
"Why did you leave?"
Dammit, straight to the point.
"I... I don't know, actually," Emma answered, and wanted to slap herself for how stupid that sounded.
Obviously, her behavior had hurt Regina, and that there was no legit reason to it whatsoever made it even worse.
She definitely needed to work on this issue, especially since all she actually wanted was to be with Regina, not run away from her.
"Do you think it was a mistake?"
"Leaving?"
"No, what we did... before that," Regina asked quietly, avoiding Emma's eyes.
For a moment, it was completely silent in the small hospital room.
Truth to be told, Emma didn't know what to say. Of course she didn't think it had been a mistake, how could she, but did Regina see it the same way?
Yes, the brunette had, more or less, initiated the whole thing, but Emma knew how irrational pregnancy hormones made a woman. Maybe Regina had just needed some scratching for an excruciating itch, and Emma had been available at that moment.
Even if that was the case, though, it had already happened, so there was no changing the situation anyway. Either they'd made a step in the right direction, or everything they had achieved when it came to improving their relationship would come crashing down sooner or later. Emma seriously hoped option one was true.
"No," she said, and Regina's eyes—big, brown, and full of surprise—snapped up to meet hers.
"Really?"
"Really," the blonde assured, and squeezed a tan hand, which she had practically been holding nonstop since the ambulance had brought them to the hospital. "You should know by now that I'm not lying to you, Regina."
"But sometimes you're not telling me everything," Regina responded, and Emma's heart skipped a beat.
Did the brunette know? Had she somehow figured out what Emma was feeling? But she had been so, so careful to not let her feelings show, hadn't she? She had played the protective best friend, the supportive co-parent, and she had also slept with the brunette. Shit.
"W-what?"
This couldn't be happening, Regina couldn't know, because—she just couldn't. She wasn't supposed to just figure it out on her own, and then be all calm and understanding about it, and tell Emma it was okay, but she still only liked her as a friend.
"Like when you wanted to take Henry back to New York. You didn't tell me," Regina finally clarified, and the stone that fell from Emma's heart was about as big as three blue whales, a minivan, and a handful of puppies.
God, this woman would surely be the death of her one day.
"I wouldn't have done it, anyway," Emma admitted, somewhat meek, because she didn't really want to tell Regina about all this; sometimes it was better if the other woman didn't know everything.
"Why not?"
Because I couldn't live without you, she thought, but said, "because Henry couldn't live without you," instead. Coward.
Regina, apparently, called bullshit, though. "He didn't even remember me then," she said, confused, and a little suspicious.
Inside Emma's head, there was an actual war going on: on the one hand, she wanted to tell the other woman everything, because—even though she wasn't exactly lying about anything—Regina deserved to know, and maybe, just maybe, this whole thing wouldn't turn out to be a complete train wreck after all, so she took a deep breath.
"But I did."
"What do you mean?"
In a moment of crazy confidence (well, probably rather complete insanity), she clarified her statement. "I couldn't live without you either."
Because she couldn't gauge Regina's reaction in the least, Emma lifted her gaze and peered directly into the other woman's eyes, her heart pounding like crazy. The brunette looked genuinely surprised.
"Oh."
For a moment, the mayor's face remained unmoved, mouth perfectly round, and, internally, Emma completely panicked. Oh God, she had screwed up. She had completely misread every sign she thought the other woman had been sending her way. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Then, however, Regina's face lit up with one of the biggest smiles Emma had ever seen on the other woman, and in this moment she knew she had to tell her. The brunette had to know the truth, fuck the consequences.
"Regina, I—," she began, only seconds away from either spilling the beans or a serious heart attack, when the door to the room opened, and Dr. Andersen entered.
Fucking seriously?
"Miss Mills, how are you doing?"
It took Regina a moment to answer, because she was still staring at Emma, as if trying to magic the rest of the blonde's answer right out of her head.
"I'm alright, thank you," she said, after she had given the savior one more pointed look. For sure, this wasn't over.
"Good, good. Are you, or have you been, experiencing any pain?"
Regina shook her head.
"Great," the doctor said, definitely way too cheerfully for the liking of someone who didn't get nearly enough sleep the previous night.
"So, what is the status quo now? What about the baby?"
"He is doing as good as can be expected under the circumstances."
Both women's jaws simultaneously dropped.
"He?"
Dr. Andersen's eyes went wide.
"Oh, I am sorry. I wasn't aware that you didn't know the sex yet," the doctor was quick to apologize, but Emma barely registered her presence anymore.
All she saw was the brunette woman lying in the bed next to her, tears in her eyes.
Emma knew for a fact that Regina didn't really care too much about the baby's sex, they both didn't, actually, because, especially concerning the mayor's history with pregnancies, the most important thing was health (though they would still love the baby to bits, even if the he or she had some disease or genetic defect).
Good Lord, Emma seriously needed to stop thinking in terms of "our baby." Sure, she had vowed to help Regina with the new addition to this big, highly complicated thing that was the Swan-Mills-Charming-Gold-whoever-else-was-involved family, but they weren't married, hell, they weren't even a couple or anything. Tune it down, Swan.
"I... it's fine, don't worry," Regina said, tight smile on her lips.
Obviously, it wasn't fine, but the brunette was still a politician (and, once upon a time, had been a queen), so putting a good face on the matter was definitely one of her strong suits.
"Anyway, like I said, he is doing okay, but, to prevent any more bleeding or other complications, you are under strict bed rest as of right now."
"But I…," Regina immediately tried to argue. Dr. Andersen, however, wasn't having it.
"I know you are a busy woman, Madame Mayor, and I won't prevent you from doing your paperwork, but you should strictly avoid standing and walking."
"So I have to stay here for the next 20 weeks? You cannot be serious!"
The look on her face was one of absolute horror, and, in search for some support, she turned to Emma to urge her to do something about this.
Before the blonde could take any action, however, the doctor continued.
"That would be one option, yes, but I would also be willing to let you go home. Under the condition that you have someone there with you who takes care of you."
Now it was Dr. Andersen who looked over to the sheriff.
"I don't…" Regina started, but didn't get to finish her desperate protest.
"She's going home," Emma declared confidently, before she could completely think the whole thing through.
"Pardon?"
Regina snapped her head back to stare at the blonde fast enough one could hear her neck crack.
Somehow, this idea had sounded better in Emma's head.
"I'm just gonna move into the mansion. Only if you're okay with that, of course! But I thought you would be up for that rather than for staying here for ages. Plus, let's face it, I spent so much time at your place, I was basically living there already," Emma elaborated, and desperately hoped she wasn't taking things a step too far right now.
It was true, though, she had spent most of her time at Regina's place in the past weeks, and she would be lying if she said she hadn't been enjoying every second of it. It had felt like home, like family and belonging, and she didn't want that to change. She wanted Regina.
"O-okay."
It was a few hours later when they finally made it to the mansion.
Emma had had another talk with the doctor, just to make sure she would be doing everything right when taking care of the other woman, instead of making the situation even worse.
This included that she was hellbent on not letting Regina move any more than strictly necessary—which basically meant to the ensuite of her bedroom and back.
"I'm gonna carry you," she therefore declared once she had caught up with the brunette inside the grand foyer (Regina had basically jumped out of the car once they'd reached the mansion, and Emma had been to baffled to stop her from entering the house on her own).
"Emma, don't be ridiculous," Regina tried to argue, because, after all, she was still the feisty, headstrong, pain-in-the-ass woman Emma had met all those years ago.
"You don't be ridiculous, you heard what the doctor said."
"Emma, I—," Regina started, but interrupted herself with a surprised squeal when Emma picked her up bridal start to carry her up the stairs.
"Do you need anything?" Emma asked, standing around the room a little awkwardly after she had carefully laid Regina down onto the bed.
"Will you stay with me?"
"I already told you I would move in here and take care of you," the blonde assured again.
At this point in time, Regina should really know that she had her back, no matter what. She called the blonde in the middle of the night, drunk off her ass to tell her about that one maid back in the Enchanted Forest who gave the best head ever? Of course Emma would listen to Regina's rambling until they both fell asleep on the line. Regina had vandalized Blue's car and was in danger of getting caught? Obviously Emma would give her an alibi. She had killed Hook because he had finally managed to take it a step too far? Sure thing she was gonna help chop him up into little pieces and scatter them all over Storybrooke.
"No, I meant right now. Will you lie in bed with me?"
Oh.
"Ehm, yeah, sure," Emma stammered, actually not sure if this was truly a good idea, or it would backfire big time. Being with Regina, being close to Regina, always did things to Emma. Things she couldn't fully explain, things that lead to other things, and feelings, and all sorts of weird thoughts and daydreams.
She shouldn't get into that bed; she really, really shouldn't.
But because it was Regina, and Emma's brain seemed to stop functioning properly whenever the other woman so much as asked her for something, she awkwardly took off her shoes, before she climbed onto the huge mattress.
They lay next to each other on their backs for a while, not touching, not talking, until Regina finally broke the silence.
"Can you hold me?"
Somehow, the question wasn't at all weird, not anymore, at least.
Without a word, Emma just opened her arms, and motioned for the brunette next to her to cuddle up, which lead to Regina basically leaping into the blonde's arms, engulfing the other woman into a bone crushing hug.
Sometimes, Emma still couldn't believe they were at this point now, openly showing affection for each other, being able to touch the other one without having reservations or feeling embarrassed. It was just so different from what the sheriff would have ever expected to happen between them.
"I like when you're all cuddly and needy, it's like you're a completely different person," the blonde remarked, pushing her luck by pressing a soft kiss to Regina's hair.
This whole situation was so nauseatingly domestic, Emma was asking herself if they were actually married already and she had just lost her memories about it.
"Oh, don't underestimate me, dear. I'll still light you on fire, if need be," Regina warned with her authoritative I'm-the-Evil-Queen-and-I'll-whoop-your-sorry-ass voice, but her eyes were sparkling, and she had to fight a grin, so Emma was pretty sure she wasn't actually in acute danger of being fried on a stick at the moment.
"Of course," she agreed instead, tone teasing.
Regina only grinned at her, before she put her head back on the blonde's shoulder, and they both just lay in each other's arms.
The brunette's lips were basically touching the other woman's neck, which Emma was acutely aware of.
She thought back to their night together, when Regina's lips had been attacking her neck, sucking, nibbling, bruising. God, how she wished she could experience that again.
"You were going to say something. In the hospital, before the doctor came in," Regina quietly said at some point, effectively breaking the silence. Emma tensed.
Oh no. No no no no no no no no. Abort, abort right fucking now.
"Oh, that. It was nothing."
Better nip this conversation in the bud before it could turn into something that was too big to control.
They could talk about the baby instead. Or grilled cheese. Or hideous bird pictures. Anything.
"Are you sure?"
Sometimes Emma seriously hated how perceptive the other woman was.
"Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"I don't know, it's stupid, really," Emma sighed, and lifted the one arm that wasn't holding Regina to cover her face with her hand. This was going to be a complete disaster.
"I'm sure it's not," Regina assured, and, seriously, this woman was too good for this world.
When she was like this, all lovely, and understanding, and supportive, Emma seriously forgot that, in another realm, at another time, this exact woman had been the much feared and passionately hated Evil Queen.
"No, it's not," the blonde admitted.
God, she just wanted to disappear. This whole situation was such a disaster.
"What is it, Emma? You're starting to worry me."
Regina's forehead was crinkled, and she studied Emma with that look on her face, that look that—to Emma—appeared a lot like affection. Like genuine concern, and empathy, and love, and Emma just couldn't take this. It seemed to be so easy, it should be, but, actually, it wasn't.
"It's nothing bad. Well, okay, depends, actually."
Way to be less cryptic, Emma, good job.
"On what?"
"On you," Emma admitted.
"Me? I'm sorry, I'm a little lost here."
"Just forget about it," she almost begged, letting out another exasperated sigh.
"I definitely won't."
Of course the brunette had to make this extra hard on Emma; with her, there was always some sort of confrontation, arguing about this or that, because, of course, Regina always had to get things her way.
Normally, Emma would give her whatever it was the other woman wanted, no questions asked, but not now. She wasn't ready to spill everything, not right now.
It wasn't that she necessarily wanted to desperately keep her feelings for the mother of her son a secret anymore, on the contrary, she kind of wanted Regina to know (and hopefully return them), but she was still bad with emotions, and had abandonment issues, and didn't want to ruin the best thing in her life at the moment.
"Regina, please," Emma almost pleaded.
She didn't want to talk about this, she didn't want Regina to wear her down until she finally gave in and told her. Instead, she wanted her confession to be this big romantic thing, well, at least as romantic as it got considering she and Regina were involved (because, obviously, they both kind of sucked when it came to anything that involved love and the like).
"Don't you trust me?"
At this point, Emma knew she would lose this argument, no matter what.
"I do, but..."
"Then tell me," Regina deadpanned, tracing random patterns on Emma's bare forearm with one of her fingers.
It felt good, and it was extremely distracting. For a second, Emma allowed herself to close her eyes to fully savour the other woman's touch. Honestly, she could so get used to this.
With Regina everything was easy, which was really ridiculous regarding everything they had fought over. But they had somehow gotten their act together; at least to a point where they actually, genuinely liked each other. Or maybe they just had, somewhere deep down inside.
"I should call Henry. I bet he's wondering how you're doing, and when we're gonna come pick him up from Snow's place."
"Emma! Emma," Regina called out, but Emma pretended she didn't hear it, and, instead, closed the door behind her.
God, she was such a coward.
A/N: One more thing! You're gonna hate me for this, but when I first wrote the chapter I had Emma actually confess her feelings, but then decided to take that out again, because it just didn't feel right, you know? However, what I wanna say with this: hang in there, people, it's gonna happen!
