So here we are. Tom is determined to tell Sybil about his feelings.
Thank you to everyone who commented on the story. It's so great to get feedback, it motivates and inspires me.
It also cannot be said enough: Thank so much to Scarletcourt for editing this story for me. Her input is so helpful!
Last but not least, since my Tom in this story is a runner, too, I'd like to take the opportunity to ask all my readers for supporting Allen Leech in this year's London Marathon an April 21rd. He's running for centrepoint UK and you can donate for his good cause. Since I don't know how to post links here and since I'm not sure I'm allowed to do so, I'd ask you to check out Allen's profile on twitter ( Allenleech). He tweeted about it only a week ago. You'll find the link to donate there.
And now without further ado...
.
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It was almost two hours later and they had long moved from the table to the living room and still Tom hadn't found the courage to bring the topic up. Now they were sitting on the sofa, the champagne bottle almost empty and Sybil was getting tipsy. She was leaning her head against the cushions, a happy smile on her face.
"I'm so relieved I passed the finals. I was really worried about them. Now I must think if I'm going to choose a special field. I'm not sure yet."
Tom leaned his ellbow on the back of the sofa, facing her head on his hands. "I knew you would pass. You're dedicated and always studying."
Sybil smiled "It's sweet that you have so much faith in my abilities," she turned her head and the movement brought her face near to his own. Tom felt his mouth go dry staring into her beautiful eyes. It would be so easy to just ...
"I have all faith in the world in your abilities," he whispered.
He recognized the moment her mood changed. One moment she was just smiling, but then their eyes locked. Her eyes travelled down to his lips and he held his breath, leaning in ever so slightly. She met him halfway and then they were kissing,very slowly, very sweetly. The first kiss was just a brush of lips, but then his hand came up to her face, bringing her closer to him. She tasted heavenly, her lips soft and sweet under his. He felt almost dizzy of happiness.
This is it!
He lost all count of time and didn't know how long they had kissed, when she suddenly said. "No, Tom..." and broke the kiss.
Opening his eyes and breathing a bit more heavily than before he looked down on her in confusion. Did he do something wrong? It had still been a very chaste kiss, surely nothing too ...
"I'm sorry," he said automatically without knowing for what he was apologizing.
Sybil retreated a bit from him and looked unhappy. "No! No, I'm the one who should apologize," she said in a tiny voice. "I shouldn't have done that."
"Sybil ..."
"No," she interrupted him. "I know, I shouldn't have kissed you. It's ... uh, I'm more tipsy than I thought ... I didn't want to kiss you."
Ouch.
He needed to tell her now. He had to be honest, it was eating him up inside.
He sat up and looked at her again. "Sybil," he started tentatively. "These last weeks, since you moved in here ..." He shook his head because words failed him and he didn't know how to continue. He felt her questioning gaze on his face and raised his eyes to hers. "I'm falling for you," he rushed on. "It's why I ended it with Mary and I trust me, I told myself and told myself it's too soon but I can't keep it in any longer."
She doesn't feel as you do, Tom.
He knew it from the way she looked away from him, avoiding his gaze.
"Tom, I..." she trailed off. Searching obviously for the right words to turn him down.
He sighed and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. They both didn't speak for a while.
Looking up again he said, "It's okay. You don't feel the same as I do."
She surprised him. "I don't know if I do," she said honestly. "I do feel... something... I can't deny that." She gave him a tiny smile. "Otherwise I wouldn't have kissed you."
He looked at her intently and suddenly hopeful again. "But?"
"But I'm not like Mary," she said earnestly. "I can't do this."
She thinks you only want sex?
"This is completely different," he hurried to assure her. "I'm falling in love with you, Sybil, it's not at all like it was with Mary!"
He took her hand in his and tried to clarify the situation. "I know this sounds bad, but you have to believe me, I never felt anything for Mary. It was impulsive ... I was bored and restless and tired of everything, but this ...," he waved a finger between them and his tone got urgent in his need to make her understand, "… this is so much more!"
Sybil looked down on their intertwined hands, where his thumb was stroking her skin lightly.
"It's too soon," she whispered. "I want to believe you and trust you, but I'm not sure I can ... yet."
He had to swallow hard before he could trust his voice. "It's okay," he said quietly and released her hand. "I can wait. I can wait as long as you need."
She was still looking down, a tear slowly rolling down her cheek and he desperately wanted to assure her that everything was still al right between them.
"Come here," he said and drew her in a hug. "We're still friends, right?"
He could feel her nod against his neck. "I want us to," she murmured in a tiny voice. "I couldn't bear it to lose you as a friend now."
"Never," he said, leaning back so he could look at ther earnestly. "Don't ever think about that."
She nodded and tried a little smile. "Are we Okay?"
He smiled back. "Okay," he said.
But she could see in his eyes that she had just broken his heart.
