IMPORTANT STUFF TO KNOW!

This is a crack/romance/humor/ adventure fic

Pairing: SasukeXOc(Ren)

Summary: WTF just happened? One minute I'm at Wendy's eating a frosty then everything gets blurry and I start hearing the Japanese song ROCKS by Hound Dog! Next thing I knew I was in some apartment with a balcony that had a view of the hokage monument with a guide called 'The Guide to being Ren Roax, the fourth member of Team 7' …WHAT THE HELL?

Warnings: Ren POV almost all the time, Sakura/Ino bashing (mostly Sakura), attempt at humor

Disclaimer: I don't own squat TT^TT

"talking"

'thinking'

""people talking at the same time""

INNER SAKURA:

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"I'm honored that I can see the Sharingan that I've heard about," Zabuza said.

"You guys have been saying Sharingan, but what is it?" Naruto asked.

"Sharingan... The eye creates it, and it is the power that the pupil generates," Sasuke explained. "The user of this visual jutsu or doujutso can instantly see and comprehend any genjutsu, taijutsu, and ninjutsu, and cancel their effects. Sharingan is one of the types of eyes that those doujutsu users possess. But that's not the only ability the Sharingan possesses."

"Huh?" I looked over to Naruto and whispered.

"It can see through and copy any genjutsu and ninjutsu. For example if you mad a thousand clones a person with the sharingan would be able to find the real you."

"Oooh."

"You got it right boy," Zabuza said. "But you only scratched the surface. The Sharingan can analyze the opponents technique and then copy it to the smallest detail." I noticed that it suddenly got really foggy; I could hardly see through it.

Man, I hate fog. It makes me squint but I still won't be able to see anything. It's misleading.

"When I was in the Hidden Village of Mist's assassination squad... your information was listed in the bingo book I carried asking for your capture," Zabuza said.

Whoop-dii-doo. You read something out of a book. Why is it called a BINGO book anyway? Why do all the bad guys feel the need to talk about their victim, themselves or their dastardly deed before they kill somebody?

"It also noted this... The man who copied more than 1000 techniques, Kakashi the copy ninja," Zabuza continued.

"WOW!" Naruto and Sakura said in awe and Sasuke just glared... well, at least I think he glared…why is he glaring in the first place? Is this some male pride thing? Tsk boys are so stupid.

"Let's cut the chit-chat here," Zabuza said gaining my attention.

Uuuh... let's not! Please keep talking, I don't want that over sized butter knife anywhere near me!

"I have to kill that geezer right away." That was when we all jumped in front of the bridge builder; Naruto on one side of me, on the other Sakura, and Sasuke in front; we all had a kunai knife in front of us.

"But, Kakashi, it seems I have to defeat you first." Zabuza suddenly disappeared giant weapon and all! I saw him reappear in the water... actually he was standing on the water.

You know that pisses me off. People can stand on water, make clones of themselves, shoot fire balls, and animals can talk…but men can't get pregnant…mpregs rock.

BACK ON TOPIC!

"He's over there!" Naruto said.

"Thanks for pointing out the obvious again Naruto…those pants are so dumb." I whispered to myself but Sasuke somehow managed to hear me. Sneaky devil.

"Ren...! This is no time for that!" he yelled/ hissed. Sakura glared at me, siding with Sasuke…even though she has no idea what the situation is.

"What? They are!" I retorted softly. "and he doesn't even own a shirt!"

All of a sudden, Zabuza disappeared from my sight.

Oh crap! He's come to get me for my rude remark! I'll never insult another NARUTO character again…pfft yes I will…

"He disappeared!" Naruto said as Kakashi walked in front of us.

"K-Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura stuttered.

"He'll try to eliminate me first, but..." Kakashi said.

"But...?" I said.

"Zabuza Momochi, he was in the Hidden Village ANBU, and was know for his 'silent killing' techniques," Kakashi continued.

"S-Silent...? Naruto asked.

Oh, that's unsettling.

"As the name suggests, it happens in an instant without sound or warning of any kind," Kakashi explained. "It's so fast, you pass from this life without realizing what's happened. The Sharingan can not fully neutralize it, so don't lower your guard."

"Easy for him to say!

"Well, if we fail we only lose our lives," Kakashi said.

Not much to lose…NOT! There's so much I didn't do yet! I didn't tell Tobi he's a good boy or poke Itachi in the forehead or punch Sakura or Ino or put Deidara and Naruto in a proper speaking class!

"The mist is getting thicker and thicker!" Naruto stated.

"The land of waves is surrounded by ocean, the swirling mist is ever present," bridge builder said.

"Oh-no! It's so bad that I can't see Kakashi-sensei anymore!" I said.

"What!" Sasuke said.

"You heard me you deaf chicken

"You little-!" Sasuke said.

"Quiet you two!" bridge builder said.

"Eight points," Zabuza's creepy voice filled my ears.

CRAP! That's so freaky! Goosebumps!

"The larynx, spine, lungs, liver, jugular, vein, collarbone, kidney, and heart," Zabuza continued. "Now, which vital organ do you want to be struck at?" Zabuza asked making me gulp.

"Uuuh... the secret answer none of the above?" I asked.

"NO!"

"S-S-Sorry I asked!" I stuttered my eyes turning white. Suddenly I could feel a strong wind picking up blowing away the fog. I saw Kakashi again...THANK YOU GOD!

I saw Sasuke grab his kunai with both hands and was slowly pointing the tip towards his stomach. I grab his hand that held the kunai. He looked at me. My eyes turned light blue and eye smiled slightly at him and told him that we'll be fine. He calmed down a little

"Sasuke! Don't worry. I'll protect the four of you with my life," Kakashi said. "I won't let anyone on my team die. Trust me."

"See? Nothing to worry about! So don't go suicidal on us! Your too arrogant for that" I said.

"I would be so sure," Zabuza said... and he sounded close; right behind me! "It's over!"

Instinctively jumped out of the way when I saw Kakashi move towards us. When I looked back I saw that Kakashi had stabbed a kunai knife into Zabuza! But, it wasn't blood pouring from him... it was water. "Water clone?" I thought in alarm as another Zabuza appeared behind Kakashi.

"Sensei! Behind you!" Naruto shouted but it was too late, before Kakashi even fully turned around Zabuza cut him in half.

HOLY CHIZ!

But Kakashi's body soon turned into water! Yes, that means Kakashi is still alive and kicking!

Man, even though I know what's going to happen I still get freaked out.

Zabuza looked surprised when he realized that it was just the water clone jutsu. I saw Kakashi hold a kunai knife at Zabuza's thought. "Don't move," he said. "This is the end!"

Heh Awesome! He copied Zabuza's technique even in fog as thick as this!

We all watched stunned that Kakashi had gotten Zabuza off guard like that. "This is the end," Kakashi said snapping me out of my stupor.

"WOW!" Naruto shouted. Suddenly Zabuza started laughing and then he got louder. I just knew Zabuza wouldn't lay down and beg...!

"Is this the end?" Zabuza asked. "You really don't get it do you?"

Uh... are we suppose to get something...Oh wait I remember now.

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TBC

YOU MUST REVIEW OR ELSE!

NO FLAMING

Next time: Bridge of Courage