A/N: I want to thank all those who review- this episode is for you!
Warning: It is full of BOY LOVE!
Disclaimer: I will own South Park and all thing related when Tom Cruise comes out of the closet.
Summary: Damien comes back to South Park to finish up some schooling. Pip is being bullied by Cartman. Kenny plays matchmaker. Oh yes, it's all lovely random stuff.
Remember:
"Blah" – Speech
Blah – Thoughts
Blah – Self Explanatory
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Chapter Eleven
"This is my first time," the blond confessed.
"You're doing fine," Damien said.
"Are you sure?" Pip asked.
"It's easy, just gently press-" the Anti-Christ was cut off.
"I don't think I can do this…"
"Here, I'll show you."
"It feels weird…"
"I know, but you get use to it."
"Wow Damien! You're really good!"
"…"
"Harder! Faster!"
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP
"I think you just lost."
Damien growled as he threw the Wii remote on the bed. Pip giggled as he picked it back up and pressed the continue button. The Son of Satan crossed his arms as Pip continued to hit bunnies with plungers. Finally the battery gave out and they could not find any more.
The watch on the dark boy's wrist beeped. Pip looked over his shoulder as the glowing letters showed he had to be home in fifteen minutes. Damien sighed and turned off the television. The Brit grabbed his back pack and threw it on quickly…
Meanwhile Kenny was sitting on Stan's couch, aimlessly throwing popcorn at his gay dog. The dog would whine and pad out of the room with shiny pink nails flashing. Kyle was flipping through the channels bored enough to sit and watch the news. Cartman could be heard arguing about the appropriate snacks for the evening with Stan.
"SCREW YOU GUYS! I'M GOING HOME! "
"Shut up fat ass!" Kyle yelled.
"I'm not fat- I'm big boned!" said 'big boned' boy had shouted back.
"Yeah, and Kenny's not a whore," Stan taunted as he flopped next to Kyle. Kenny threw him a deadly glare- as well as his bowl of popcorn.
"You're just jealous 'cause you can't get none of this," Kenny said, sticking out his tongue. Kyle raised an eyebrow.
"Who would want that?" the redhead questioned.
"Cartman would," the blond answered with a shrug.
"Seriously, dude, that's not even funny," Stan said. Kyle nodded solemnly. Kenny just shrugged.
"Sorry, guess I'm just not comically ordained tonight," he apologized. Cartman had strutted in as he sat down with a bag of Cheesy Poofs. Kyle rolled his eyes as he scooted closer to Stan. The raven shook his head and nodded to the kitchen. Kyle got up and they went to go get better snacks.
A silence fell over Kenny and Cartman for a moment. Kenny sighed as he turned to Eric.
For a moment, the blond eyed his friend warily. All four boys had been buds since before kindergarden. Surely they could speak honestly to one another…
"Hey, dude, what do you have against Pip?" the blond asked. Cartman blinked and turned away from the screen of the television.
"Huh?" he asked, cheese crumbs falling from his mouth. Kenny rubbed his eyes tiredly.
"Do you... Well, do you… uh crap," the immortal muttered. "You wouldn't happen to like the kid… that way, would you?" Cartman stared at Kenny for the longest time with a blank look on. Then he burst out laughing manically.
Stan and Kyle in the kitchen shared a look before sighing, and then turned to go up to Stan's room to get away from Cartman. Kenny wasn't so lucky.
"What? No!" Cartman exclaimed between guffaws. "I just want to screw 'im." Kenny's mouth fell open in shock. The brown haired lad slapped Kenny's back, and the kid flew to the floor. "What made you think I liked him?" Cartman was nearly choking on his cheese snack.
Kenny sat up dazedly, shaking off the cheese hand print on the back of his jacket. "Well, for one, you're putting the moves on him!" the blond practically screeched. Eric scoffed as he folded his bag.
"Weren't you the one who said guys were better?" he had inquired. Kenny bolted to his feet in shock.
"Are you saying I gave you the idea?!"
Cartman just blinked at him again, "Yeah."
A groan released from inside Kenny's diaphragm. He slumped down to the ground in exhaustion. "Jesus Christ…" the orange clad boy mumbled. "That was a god damned joke! I don't even remember why I said it!"
Cartman just shrugged and went back to munching his Poofs. Kenny pulled himself back up on the couch next to his friend. His hand snatched out and grabbed the bag of cheesy goodness. The never dying boy ate sourly while Cartman whined.
"Can't you leave the kid alone for once?" Kenny asked. Cartman sighed as the bag was thrust back to his hands.
"Why should you care so much, Ken?" Eric had inquired while licking off the yellow stains on his fingers. Ken's eyes flickered to the fat blob next to him. He bit his lip, not knowing how to answer the question.
"Just leave him alone," Kenny mumbled, hand raking over the hood to his parka. Cartman smirked, the cheese power stretching across his mouth.
"Let me guess," the big boned teen said. "He's your next target to sleep with?" Kenny froze, unsure of how to answer. Luckily he didn't need to. "Tell you what; you can have the left-overs! It'll be easier for you."
A vein popped somewhere- Kenny launched to his feet. "Pip doesn't want you!" Kenny protested. Cartman just scoffed. His fingers scrapped over the remains of what ever was left in the bag.
"Duh, that's what I'm hoping for," the malicious teen explained. Kenny's defense pose had slackened at the words.
"What do you mean?" the blond asked with a lump in his throat. Cartman's eyes sparkled as he looked Kenny straight in the eyes.
"I want to force him into it!" he almost squealed happily at the statement. Kenny lost feeling in his legs. His eyes were as wide as dinner plates.
"You don't mean…" he started but was cut short.
"Of course! It will be so much more fun that way!"
Kenny went numb… He didn't remember anything besides turning away and stalking outside and into the cold. The blond shoved his hands in his parka and had drudged down the streets until a sound registered in his ears. Kenny turned his head toward the road and saw a motorcycle slow down to halt right next to him.
The person pulled off their helmet and threw it at Kenny, "Hop on, you look cold and I've already delivered one blond today." Damien ordered. Kenny thrust the helmet back. Damien blinked as Kenny dug his hands back into his jacket.
"Leave me alone," Kenny growled. Damien was not the person he wanted to see at the moment. The Offspring of Evil shrugged and slung the helmet back on.
"Still mad about the other day?" the dark boy questioned with a smug smile. The obliviousness ticked Kenny off more than it should. The orange boy spun around to his companion.
"SHUT UP!"
Damien sat back taken by surprise. Actually, surprise had nothing to do with it. Nothing could describe how unprepared he was for Kenny's outburst.
Kenny had been keeping secrets since he was a boy. Secrets about home, school, life, death, and now most importantly about his friends. If there was anything Kenny hated more about secrets, it was the fact that he was a hypocrite…
"GOD DAMMIT ALL!" he screamed as he kicked at the snow.
"I'M TIRED OF THIS BULLSHIT! I'M TIRED OF YOU! I'M TIRED OF CARTMAN! I AM FUCKING TIRED DAMMIT! LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE!"
Damien pulled back, unsure of how to deal. Kenny breathed in deeply, his face red and his eyes blurred. His palm hit against his burning forehead. With shaking fists he turned back to Damien. "Listen, just leave okay? I got a lot to think about… Just… please go… You're not helping…" he begged.
The dark teen nodded and revved his engine quickly. He sped away and tried not to look back. The Anti-Christ couldn't help catching Kenny fall on his ass, shaking bitterly in the cold…
"Kenny?" A stuttering voice questioned. Kenny's ears perked as he turned to see a polka-dot pajama clad Butters nervously rubbing his knuckles together. "Are you okay?"
Kenny shook his head, "I think I just made a mess of things…"
After an hour of sitting on Butter's couch and spilling his guts, Kenny felt extremely better. Maybe it helped that he and Butters were also wrapped in a small blanket to keep warm. "I didn't know you cared so much Kenny…" Butters said in a yawn.
Kenny had chuckled and pushed up the little blond. "You're tired, sorry to have kept you up," Kenny apologized as he stood. Butter's shook his head vehemently.
"No, no! It was fun… I like talking to you," Butter's confessed with a smile. The immortal's face bloomed in a pretty shade of magenta. He scratched his cheek as he shoved another hand in his pocket.
"Yeah well… I like talking to you too," Kenny admitted. The sleepy blond smiled up at Kenny. It also made him smile. Then quickly Kenny leaned down and pecked Butter's cheek. "Night-o Butters!" And then Kenny pranced out of the door. Butter blinked and sleepy touched his cheek with a soft grin.
"G'night Kenny…" he murmured as he snuggled into their blanket…
A/N: Meh, weak ending. But I really wanted to finish like this. Yikes, this one is longer, but only slightly… Damn. Does anyone want a longer chapter? I do. –Grumbles-
Anyways, things are going to quickly heat up! Hehe, bet you though Damien and Pip were already doing bad things. Nope! Just playing with the new Nintendo Wii! Which can sound suggestive if you think about it…
My cousin's boyfriend got one a while ago along with "Rayman Raving Rabbids" and "Zelda: Twilight Princess."
He beat Zelda already (I LOVE THE GRAPHICS! And I want a Midna… -sighs-) and I have nearly finished Rayman. I probably would be finished if he didn't take it to Florida so he could play with his younger brother. BASTARD! Oh well, what can I do?
