Chapter 11
I stayed in the hospital room for a week until I was better but, they also wanted to make sure I pretty enough for my closing interview with Caesar. We have another week while they get my interview dress ready. I don't like being here I just want to go home, I usually end up sitting alone in my room rocking back and forth and crying. Finnick used to stay with me but, I told him to go away because I didn't want him to see me crying all the time. He still checks on me every hour. Like he said I'm stuck with him for life.
I hear a soft knock on my door.
"Come in."
Finnick comes in the door.
"It's dinner time Annie."
"Okay." I say and walk out the door.
We walk out and I can see for dinner we are having pasta. Something easy to swallow down which has been the menu all week: soup, chili. pasta, some interesting mashed dish, smoothies. I think they are doing it on purpose, I had a decent amount to eat int the arena thanks to my sponsors, who I still don't understand how I got. I wanted to ask Finnick but, figured it doesn't matter. I'm sure he could have persuaded people to help me.
I sit at the table and he sits next to me
The Avox start to spoon things onto our plate. Theystart to spill some of the red sauce onto the pasta and my mind briefly goes back to the arena and makes me see the blood in the cornucopia. I close my eyes and try and get a hold of myself but regret it immediately because I see the girl from seven sever Dan's head off. When I open my eyes I see his head on my plate.
"NO!" I shout and throw the plate across the room.
"Annie." I hear someone say
"No!" I say and am frozen in fear. I don't have any recollection of where I am, my mind is just blank from fear.
I hear a faint muffling sound it sounds like someone is trying to talk with me but, I can't tell. I sit and stare at nothing for what seems to be a long time.
"Annie it's okay." I hear the voice this time. "You're okay. Just count to ten." I hear. I know this is Finnick talking to me he is the only one who has said this to me. Even though he is talking to me the voice doesn't belong to him. I count to ten but, it doesn't help I'm still in a place between reality and my mind.
"It's okay Annie you're okay, it's not real, you're here with me." Hearing this makes me snap back into reality.
I see his arm is around me and he is looking at me, no one else is at the table and I have no idea how long I was sitting here.
I crook my head and look at him and he smiles at me. I feel like I should ask how long I have been here but, instead I feel a lump in my throat and start crying. He hugs me.
"Shhh shhh it's okay Annie you're safe here."
I hold him in my arms and bury my face in his chest and keep sobbing.
"I want to go home." I whisper.
"Your interview is set for tomorrow, then we will be back in Four in a day." He tells me gently.
I sniffle not knowing what to say. I just hold him and listen to his breathing and heart beating. I do this for awhile and he doesn't seem to care because he keeps rubbing my back. I feel safe.
"I don't want to get interviewed." I whisper.
"Annie." He strokes my hair and I look up at him
"You have to but, most of the victors don't. You'll be okay, just pick a spot in the crowd and look at it, don't pay attention to what they are showing on the screen." He tells me.
"It doesn't matter if I look or not. I still did it." I say.
"You had to." He tells me.
"No, I didn't." I whisper.
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't. I could've just died in there, drown myself or let the rocks crush me." I say.
"Annie don't think that you won not because you are a skilled killer but, because you are a good person."
"Most good people die for that reason." I say "How did I get all those sponsors anyway?"
"People liked you."
"They liked watching a girl sit in the dark and cry." I say confused.
"No... they did it because...
"What?" I say.
"Did you do something Finnick?" I ask slightly annoyed.
"No, they gave you money because they thought you were pretty." He says.
"Yeah right, just tell me what you did."
"Annie, I'm telling the truth." He says seriously and he sounds nervous. I don't know why he would sound nervous.
"Just because that is how you got your sponsor money doesn't mean that is what happened to me." I say.
"You sound offended that people gave you money for being pretty." He says stifling a laugh.
"Well... I don't...
"You don't what?"
"I don't want them to think I'm... like you."
His face hardens when I say this, I probably offended him.
"Why don't you eat something. You should order in case..." He trails off probably not wanting to say in case you start crying.
I take the device and notice I can still only order certain things which makes me upset. I end up ordering a lemon berry smoothie because I don't feel like chewing anything.
"I'm going to sleep." I say.
"Okay." He says and walks me back to my bedroom.
"Good night." I tell him.
"You're okay Annie."
I nod and the close the door and slump against it.
"No I'm not." I whisper to myself. I push my knees to my chest and start to cry. I sit here for the rest of the night, I think I fall asleep but, only for small increments throughout the night.
I hear a knock on the door.
"Annie it's time to get up you need to get ready for your interview!" Aries exclaims with glee.
I swallow hard. I don't want to do this interview, I don't want to do anything.
I get up and walk out to the common room and see Diana and Dean waiting for me. Diana looks disgusted with me already but, Dean is smiling.
"Hello Annie! Congratulations" Dean says.
"Yes congratulations." Diana says annoyed. I have a feeling she didn't want me to win."Enough chat we have lots of work to do today." She says
I sigh.
They put all this stuff on my face that I am not paying attention to. The whole time Diana is complaining about my skin tone or the dark circles under my eyes. I want to yell at her but I know it isn't worth it.
"There finished!" Dean says proudly.
"Yes." Diana says unamused.
I hear the elevator ding and know that must be Yule with my dress.
Finnick, Mags, and Luna have been here the whole time but, I haven't really acknowledged their presence. I look in the mirror and look ridiculous, there is so much makeup on my face I look years older than I am. It is black and tan makeup that make swirls along my face. There is also very long fake eyelashes that are a blue color and have jewels on the tips. Thankfully they didn't do anything to my hair except make it sparkle.
"Hello Annie." Yule says he sounds annoyed also, I guess he didn't want me to win either.
"Hi." I say sheepishly.
"Puts this on." He says and unzips the outfit bag.
The dress is a champagne color that has jewels on the top that sprinkle down the left side and then there is a mesh skirt. It isn't puffy it is a mermaid cut dress. I do as I am told and put the dress on. I can barely put it on it is two sizes two small and with it on I can barely walk let alone breathe. It hugs my body and leaves nothing to the imagination it is so tight it is either pushing something up or holding it end.
I step back out into the common room.
"So what do you think Annie?" Yule asks.
"It's a little tight." I say.
"It's supposed to be." He says offended.
"So people in the Capitol don't breathe." I say.
Finnick stifles a laugh and Yule glares at him.
"Well, everyone out there will love it." He says
"What if it rips when I sit down." I have a genuine concern with that because it is that tight.
"It won't." He says and walks off.
"Isn't he just a ray of sunshine." I mutter to myself.
Aries comes out.
"Oh, Annie... you look so beautiful."
"Thank you Aries." I try to sound genuine but, it comes out annoyed instead.
"Well, we should get going." He chirps.
We get in the elevator and I walk at snail speed because of how tight it is.
I can hear shouts of excitement when we get down there.
"Am I supposed to do anything special?" I ask.
"Not really. He only probably only ask you five questions at most then it will be the recaps." Luna says.
I nod.
"Victor Annie five minutes." Someone yells.
Finnick walks me over to where I am supposed to be before I walk out on stage.
"Remember Annie after the questions pick a spot in the crowd and stare at it don't look at the screen."
"I'll try." I whisper I don't think I will be able to.
I get grabbed by one of the stage people who will tell me when to walk out.
"Now let's welcome to the stage the victor of the 70th Hunger Games Annie Cresta from District 4!" Caesar exclaims.
I walk out onto the stage and the crowd erupts with cheers, I sit down and smile.
"Hello Annie!" Caesar exclaims
"Hello Caesar!" I say back in a mocking tone.
"So how does it feel to be the new victor?" He asks.
"It feels... different. I just can't wait to go home." I say.
"I'm sure that's true. You want to show off your new victor status."
"Oh you know it." I say sarcastically.
"Well, let's see why you are the victor." Caesar smiles. The lights dim and the screens start to light up.
Pick a spot in the crowd and don't look at the screens. Finnick's words ring in my head but, the screens are right in front of me and it's one of those things where you want to look away but you can't.
It starts off showing the cornucopia and the normal stuff happens. I see myself murdering the two people I killed and then we start to leave to search for people to kill. They show the people the careers killed and how they are all boasting about it. I see the girl from seven jump out and know I should look away but, I can't. I see Dan's head fly off again and see myself getting splattered with his blood and it roll in front of my feet. I hear screaming at first I think it is coming from the recaps but, then I realize the screams are coming from my mouth. Then I start crying and can feel my makeup running down my face. I try to stop because I know most of Panem is watching this but I can't. I put my hands over my face trying to hide it but, it is just making it worse but, I don't care. I just want to stop watching this, I just want to go home, I just want to get out of here. I just want to forget and pretend everything that happened here is just some cruel trick or some bad dream but, it's not. It's real, this terrible thing actually happened and I will never forget it because it is burned into my mind.
