Cruelty
Chapter 10
"Thallas! Thallas!" she continuously called out my name from her spot, I watch her from a far as she uselessly trudge her way into the water to catch me. I watch her as I did for the past three years, silently in the background I gaze at her longingly as she grows. It pains me to be separated from her, to be away and do nothing but stare.
She's so near yet so far.
I can't reach her… no I can't, it's for her own good, she moved on now, she don't need me anymore. She might run away when I try to reach for her and I can't risk hearing her rejecting words once more. When she pushed me away -though I know I am to blame- it pierced my soul and tore my heart, even then I love her very much. She's all I have… had. I don't know if she forgave me or if I ever cross her mind. I always think of her and I feel guilty for causing her such grief then… 'But it's for her own good' I kept reminding myself but part of me screams 'She's not happy here!' maybe not. Perhaps she's not as happy as when were together -when were on the run and free from all restraints- but she's safe here and this is where she belongs. I'm afraid that when she'll ask me to take her away, I might do it. 'Don't you want that? You'll be together again when you do that. Don't you want to be with her forever? You'll be inseparable.' No. I want what's best for her even if that means being away from her.
I wonder… has finally she met her parents? Leto once told me that once you go to camp half-blood your godly-parent would claim you. I wonder how she reacted when she found out who her godly-parent is, or who her parents are. I hope they're treating her well. Did they repent for their sins and make up for their absence in her life? Did she forgive them? Did she even give them a chance? Knowing her she might have given them a hard time to convince her. Are they warm and loving? Maybe they're strict and stern. Or perhaps they're humorous and witty. Either way, all I want to know is why? Why did they leave her, abandon her? How did she end up in the streets of Manhattan? What happened? What's the story behind? Is it some kind of modern day story of Hephaestus? Throw her away because she's imperfect? Didn't they want her? Or maybe they want a perfect daughter, or son instead.
Will I ever meet my parents too? Did they ever want me? I wonder…
oOoOoOo
Tomorrow would be the child's weekly progress report. He'll be coming here again and have a small chat with my father and step-mom who's surprisingly nice to him, but I bet that there's something behind those cheery smiles and warm words that brought comfort. It's been three years since he first took his steps here and yet I never had the chance to ask my favor, the fates are always against me.
As time stretched I missed my own child's progress, I never had the chance to watch him grow. I wish I was there when he first smiled, learned his first word, took his first steps. And when he's upset, I wish I was the one who held him and whispered soothing words. I wish I was the one to wipe his tears away and comfort him when he's having a nightmare. I just wish I was there…
But I wasn't.
Is it too much to ask for? Is it too much to ask? Is this the consequence of my impulsive actions? If it is then, I am serving my sentence more than what I'm obliged to impart. To be hated by your child and for him to think that you don't care at all maybe the worst feeling a mother can behold. And being neglected by his parents is the cruelest thing to do to a child. According to psychological studies sometimes abuse is better than neglect, at least your child knows you're paying attention. But I didn't say abuse is a good thing! Oh no! It's never right.
So now here I am, sitting in the darkest side of my room-desperately trying to hold back tears-as I look back at the day I last saw my son. I tried to look back at the image that is forever imprinted in my mind; his cherubic face, sparkly sea-green eyes that he got from his dad together with that adorable but odd little fish tail, sandy-blonde hair that can rival the softest silk and that pouty little pair of pink lips. How can I forget what he looks like, it's the only thing left of him. I can never let his image slip from my mind. I remember like it was only yesterday, I thought I was doing what's best for him, when I left him in a care of a sea nymph in a far off island. I thought I was protecting him, but I didn't know it would be the last time I'd see him. I wasn't aware that I'd lose him once he touches the domain of his father, that I'd never see him again because of that curse. I don't know if his father found him already, after all it been years, or if the old man is even aware of his existence. If my baby is under his wing, I hope he's treating him right. I hope he's safe and loved wherever he is.
Sembreak! Finally ... A lot of things happened lately. It's a mix of everything called life ... I barely passed physics, my speech evaluator failed me (which is questionable because my teacher gave me almost perfect marks, I'm still upset by it though) and I was so close in loosing my scholarship and this morning my no older than five cousin was orphaned with her mom (please pray for her soul as well as all patients suffering from incurable diseases and the victims of the earthquake in the Philippines) ... So if you still have your mom or dad or any family member, value them. Because you'll never know ... If you're emotionally constipated you can express you affection once in a while. Just let them know you appreciate them ... I'm still trying to keep my emotions a bay, I'm really sorry for the rant.
Anyways, I wish to update on the succeeding days or next week to make up the times I didn't update. Hopefully with less drama and angst ...
I do not own anything
And I apologize for the short update
Thanks for reading and for all who's patiently waiting for an update but I disappointed numerous times, for all who reviewed and to all who added my story in their favorites and follows ... I greatly appreciate it.
A penny for your thoughts ...
Good day/night!
