Chapter 11
Monster Part I- A Visit from the Monster
...
Leaning on the wall was where Lukas first saw the man. Blonde, bespectacled and looking rather pissed. He slouched some, standing at least half a head taller than Matthias.
"'Ow many times do I tell ya? Don't ge' inta the shop Matthias." He nearly growled.
Judging by Matthias's eye roll, this was a common occurrence.
"Nice to see you too, 'Waldy... We'll be out as soon as you get outta the way."
Matthias put up his hands and sauntered towards the man mockingly.
"Asshole." He heard the man grumble under his breath at the Dane, who only smirked more.
The glare then turned to Lukas. Berwald stared for a few tense moments before nodding at Lukas and waving him in with only a hum of acknowledgement.
The man walked ahead of them in the darkened corridor. Matthias took Lukas's hand with a wink and easy smile and began to lead him through the cool concrete walls.
"Too much work keeping the lights on?" Matthias hissed at the man's back in annoyance on Lukas's behalf before Berwald disappeared.
A curtain hanging from the out of place shower rod still swung in front of the next entry way off of the hall. Matthias pushed it back, rings grating against the pole and Lukas's nerves.
Matthias received a harsh hiss of "Shh!" for the action while Lukas's eyes were slowly adapting to the lack of light.
Berwald was sitting in a chair beside the large bed that dominated the space, book in hand.
"It'll wake 'im up." He murmured before turning back to his book.
... No one made beds that big. When Lukas tore his eyes away from the structure, he could make out the shower curtain covering what must have been a bathroom, the chest of drawers in the corner, stacked high with boxes. The bed's support was built from the wooden stands one would set shipping crates on, several wide and three high. It took a few moments to realize the bed was two king sized mattresses pressed next to each other and covered with two fitted sheets stitched together.
At the head of the bed were masses of pillows, and it was only when one squirmed he realized that Emil was sleeping there.
"Ya can take 'im now or ya can leave 'im 'ere 'til he wakes up if ya wan'. He was pretty fussy when he got 'ere. I don't mind though."
Lukas scooped Emil up in his arms and walked out into the hall again without a word. Even if he was being rude, he had no reason to trust the man.
He leaned against the wall until Matthias came out. The Dane opened his mouth to speak, only to exhale heavily and gesture down the hall.
Tucked in for bed, with Emil settled between them and his hand in Matthias's, Lukas couldn't help but watch the blanket way for movement.
...
How did he manage to always get a cart with a damn spinning wheel? Lukas was wary of where he stepped as Matthias had tagged along and hid in the shadows. His accidental steps and half-kicks didn't seem to harm the shadow at all. In fact, he hadn't seen anything out of the ordinary since Matthias had first shifted from 'slender' or 'shade' to 'shadow', for lack of a better explanation he distinguished those two forms.
Emil ordered him to turn left and right, sometimes taking them in circles and giggling. At least he was able to tell him both directions.
"Three rights make left!" The boy announced his discovery with awe and Lukas tried not grin.
"Yes."
...
Emil was freed from his basket seat and set free to pick a backpack. Lukas figured it would be a nice, as he never picked his own when he went to school. Every few years his mother would hand him another navy backpack, little variation in the few.
Emil wandered around, Matthias dragging the boy's shadow long behind him.
"Power Rangers?" Lukas asked.
Emil shook his head.
"...Backyardigans?" Who the hell came up with this stuff anyways?
"Nemo?"
"Teenaged mutant... Why are they even wearing masks? They're giant tortoises."
"Turtles?"
"Tortoises."
Emil shook his head for the umpteenth time and walked to another section of backpacks.
He began looking discouraged when he came across the solid colored bags. His eyes lit up as he squealed and stood on his toes in excitement. Lukas smiled and followed him to see what had caught his eye but as he got closer the smile fell from Emil's face.
"What's wrong? Pick one that you like."
Emil turned and faced the opposite side of the aisle, still troubled and pulled a red backpack off the hook to offer it to Lukas.
"This one." He said unenthused.
Lukas stood, perplexed at the change and then jumped back.
The list of 'Things Matthias Should Not Do' expanded to include reaching a shadowy hand through the floor and grabbing at people's ankles.
Emil didn't panic at the hand wrapped around his leg, instead he listened intently.
"I do like this one."
"No, I not lying." He argued with the shadow.
"Mah-fi I am not."
"...But I can't have that one..." Emil conceded.
"Why can't you?" Lukas asked, but was ultimately ignored and shattered.
"Because purple is a girl's color and I'm a boy. I'm not allowed to like girl's colors. Daddy said so."
Damn him. Damn him.
Lukas gulped a breath and clenched his jaw. He had tried so hard... And the bastard had still managed to get a claw into the boy. He was five fucking years old and the bastard-
"You can get whatever you want Emil." Lukas croaked, but the boy still wasn't listening.
He had failed.
Emil continued conversing with the shade.
"Lukie... Mah-fi said it might be a good idea to ge' both, so we could talk about it and then I could pick one and take the other back or somethin'."
Lukas nodded quickly and Emil threw both bags in the cart. The shadow made no move other than follow along. He prayed Matthias had enough sense not to bring it up.
Lukas just needed to get out of the store.
...
"Brushie. Brushie brushie brushie brushie."
Emil was whacking him in the head with a hairbrush while he lay flopped on the bed. Lukas had buried his face in the pillow to hide what moisture slipped from his eyes.
Damn him. Damn him.
"When Lukie has bad day, we brush-a brush-a brush his hair. He likes it."
The next crack with the wrong side of the brush didn't hurt as much.
Emil remembered. He was small, not yet speaking more than single words, the last time his mother brushed Lukas's hair for him.
He had to assume of course that Emil had explained for Matthias's benefit, meaning the shade was near.
The next contact with the brush was soft, bristles going through his hair slowly. As the brush was run through his hair, the pin was removed from his bangs.
Like paper? It wasn't coarse. Baby powder? There was more strength behind the touch.
The 'skin'... Did the slender even have skin? ...was soft and cool, almost feathery.
Matthias continued running the brush through his hair, even after Emil ran off, feet pitter-pattering out of the bedroom.
Lukas rolled to his back and pulled himself up to wrap his arms around Matthias's neck. The shade returned the embrace for a short time and turned so Lukas held on from the back of his neck. Next thing Lukas knew, Matthias had hitched his legs up and he was stuck trying to compensate for the move and push himself up with the shade's shoulders. Once he was settled on Matthias's back, the shade squeezed a knee wrapped around his torso reassuringly.
Lukas had never "piggybacked" on anyone. Emil rode on his shoulders from time to time, or climbed on his back. They were completely different experiences, piggybacker and piggybackee. He refused to loosen his hold on the shade as he walked through the house. It was mildly terrifying, being held up and not being able to control where he moved. As they passed through to the living room, Matthias scooped up the duffel bag without missing a step and picked up Emil with the other arm.
"Eyes." Emil reminded before they shifted.
...
Walking through the gray did not ease his nerves at all. He wasn't even walking. Emil was, but Lukas hadn't been put down. So he clung to the Dane and flinched every step of the way. Matthias's hand returned to his knee, squeezing lightly every few seconds.
"Hey, What's that over there?!" Matthias shouted and pointed at a random direction.
Emil turned to scan the gray and Matthias turned his head to the side and kissed Lukas's cheek.
"Not in front of Emil." Lukas ordered.
"Relax." He whispered as he set the bag on the ground. "It's easier to balance if you relax some. I'm not going to drop you."
"I don't see it!" Emil whined.
"Keep looking, you'll see it!" Matthias encouraged before he turned back to kiss Lukas on the lips. The passenger yelped when the man grabbed his thighs and readjusted them around his middle. Before he could chew the Dane out Lukas's arms were moved so he didn't have to grip onto the man's shirt.
It was easier to balance. He wasn't about to admit it to the smug Dane who picked up the bag and called out to Emil.
"You just missed it. Oh well, c'mon. Don't you wanna see Berwald again?"
Berwald.
Lukas internally groaned. Admittedly he didn't know much about the man, other than the being a shade and that he and Matthias had at one point worked together, as well as a piece of what got him into the situation.
Matthias seemed to think it was perfectly fine to have Emil hang around the man when they hardly knew him.
"You're not allowed to think." Matthias murmured and derailed Lukas's train of thought.
"What?"
"You're not allowed to think."
"I'm not?"
"Nope."
"And why is that?"
"To rephrase, you over think. Go over every little possible thing that could go wrong. You're not allowed to do that anymore."
Matthias dropped to his knees, Lukas clinging at the sudden drop and rise when Matthias pulled the door open, leading Emil down the stairwell to the living room.
"C'mon. You wanna go see 'Waldy, Emil? He's gonna go on a trip for a while soon and we won't see him 'til he gets back."
Before Lukas could argue, Matthias began hopping, ensuring that Lukas had to keep his mouth closed if he wanted to keep his tongue.
"'Waldy!" The Dane sang in a falsetto. "You have a visitor!"
The curtain was pulled back by the scowling man and Emil ran at his legs.
"Hi you!"
"Hey." He mumbled softly.
"Can you hang out with Berwald for us? He needs someone to talk to." Matthias stage whispered to Emil.
Emil nodded seriously, and pointed a chubby finger into the room.
"We play!" He ordered shade.
"And while you do that, time for grown up talking."
"Grown up talking?" Lukas scoffed once the man had stopped moving.
"Shi...itake mushrooms. Yes, shiitake mushrooms are doing well this season." Matthias caught himself and began hopping again to silence Lukas.
"So. 'Waldy-"
The man arched an eyebrow, but waved them off and followed the albino overlord into the room.
If being carried while Matthias was walking was scary, running and sliding was terrifying.
Matthias plopped him on the bed like it was nothing, feigning innocence when Lukas threw a pillow at him.
"Mind if I lay here, too?"
"'Syour bed." He mumbled.
"True."
With that Matthias sat back against the headboard quietly. 'Quietly' lasted exactly 43 seconds before he groaned.
"So you gonna tell me or do I have to drag it out of you?"
"Don't know what you're talking about."
"Store, babe."
"No pet names."
"The store? When you and Emil were getting upset over the backpacks. And then you just checked out for an hour in your room. You kept muttering too. So do I gotta drag it out or are you gonna tell me? You've been acting weird since..."
He cut off then and covered his eyes.
Lukas caught the "Dammit I always screw this up..." In the Dane's mumbling.
"Screw what up? I don't think I've been acting weird... When did I start 'acting weird'?"
"Since I kissed you the other night. You've been acting different."
"I don't think so." Lukas lied.
"You kept saying 'damn him'. I know you didn't mean Emil. I'm sorry that I keep...I just-"
"You think I'm mad at you?"
"Well, yeah. Maybe I jumped the gun or I just read this wrong and you-"
"I'm not mad at you." Lukas deadpanned.
"But-"
"Annoyed sometimes, sure. But I get annoyed with everything."
"'Cept Emil."
"That's completely different."
"'Course it is... You can get fed up with family ya'know."
"Not Emil."
Matthias sat there, looking thoughtful.
"Now you need to tell me what you're thinking."
"First of all, you never told me. You talked around the problem. Second, it's you."
"Me?"
"I just don't know how you managed it. Emil's a handful, and I recently acquired more limbs."
Matthias laughed when Lukas made a face. The tentacles were still weird.
"I've been around you guys for what, three months?You've been taking care of him for years. You never complain, you never ignore him. I try to get you alone and you keep asking and worrying about him. You're not his dad Lukas."
It was hard not to flinch at the word. Matthias noticed.
"You're 17, and Emil isn't your kid. You shouldn't have had to been the adult. Hell, I'm legally an adult and I'm still an idiot most of the time. No way I could take care of a kid on my own."
"How old are you then?"
"You saw the picture."
"19."
"Yep. Two years, so I don't feel that bad. What I do worry about, is you."
"Me? What is there to worry about?"
"Take anything off the list of shit you've been through lately. You act like you're fine, but I know you're not. Every once in a while you start to crack and act like you're human-"
"So what you're saying is, I'm not human? That's rich coming from-"
"No. This isn't something about physical appearance. I know how I look and I deal with that. You put up walls. And when something hurts you, you just try to brush it off. People get hurt. You try to look like you don't, like there aren't mistakes or anything eating you alive. And you know what, it's sad. It's sad that you can't let yourself go. It's sad you had to grow up so fast. It's sad that you haven't had anyone to rely on. Every single person on this fucking stupid planet has shit to deal with, but they find ways to cope, things to do and people to rely on. You use Emil as your shield. You don't trust people, and I think I'm starting to understand why."
Lukas was shaking with rage and staring at the Dane. How dare he accuse him of-
How dare he be right? The rage was followed with hollowness.
"I'm sorry." Matthias whispered and wrapped his arms around Lukas's shoulders. "I shouldn't have laid into you like that-"
"You're still right." He mumbled.
"Doesn't mean it was right to do that to you."
"That doesn't mean I didn't need it."
Matthias sighed and tucked Lukas's head under his chin as he rubbed the younger's back.
"...I still should've been nicer. I just wanted to-" Matthias cut off, wistfulness returning.
"You just wanted to what?"
"I'm about to do the stupid talking thing again and I'm trying not to. I don't like you upset, I don't like you not being able to be upset worse. Should I be quiet?"
"Yes."
The Dane nodded, mock zipping his lips and turning a key. He offered the key to Lukas, waving his hand in the younger's face until he took the invisible key away.
Lukas decided Matthias's shoulder made a decent enough pillow to stare at the ceiling from for a few blissfully silent minutes.
And then it was too quiet.
"I'm fine." Lukas stated.
Matthias didn't reply.
"I said I'm fine."
A nod.
Lukas sat up and looked down at the Dane.
"I'm fine."
Matthias simply nodded as Lukas huffed indignantly.
Only when the man pointed at his mouth did Lukas remember.
"You can talk."
Matthias only pointed again and raised an eyebrow.
"You're joking."
He was carrying on with the key thing.
"I don't have an actual key Matthias."
The man pouted for a moment, until Lukas swallowed his pride and leaned down to kiss him.
"Now can we go?"
"You melted the lock. You're magic, Lukas!"
Resisting the urge to smack himself in the face, Lukas dragged the man along to the outside of Berwald's room, Emil happily babbling beyond the curtain.
"Yer back?" Berwald asked incredulously.
"What- oh. Heh. We were talking." Matthias said, rubbing the back of his neck.
For whatever reason, Berwald didn't look like he believed Matthias.
"'Have ta go soon. 'Sclose 'nd I'm gettin' a bit nervous."
"It'll be fine dude. Have a nice trip."
Berwald waved at Emil, who put down the playing cards and waved back for a moment. He simply nodded at Lukas and Matthias and walked down the hallway and out the door.
"Where-"
"Checking in on his family. He'll be gone for a few weeks or somethin'."
Lukas nodded as if he understood and pulled Emil away from the unfamiliar room. Matthias
stayed behind to put the cards back in the box.
"Nap time!"
...
A few days later, Lukas getting edgier as the beginning of the school year approached, suggested they stayed with Matthias the days before it began as Emil would need a schedule and their trips together would be fewer.
At one point, Emil began asking for playing cards. Which were in Berwald's room.
Matthias was showering at the time in his bedroom, and Emil wanted the cards. It wasn't wrong. So Lukas took it upon himself to look for the cards in Berwald's room.
The first drawer gave only photographs. A few of a young woman with light hair and bright eyes. Sometimes Berwald and the woman were pictured together, arms around each other. Their distance led Lukas to believe this was not a romantic gesture but a friendly pose for the photo. One picture was of an older woman, the photo worn and warped in some places as if tucked inside of a pocket or just really, really old. A hockey trophy was laid in the back of the drawer.
In the second, Lukas stopped.
The drawer was full of packaged gauze and a bottle of rubbing alcohol, as well as blue paper thin sheets folded into squares besides odd bags, but this wasn't what stopped him.
Still in the packaging were three, almost comically large, alien looking needles.
He definitely did not trust Berwald.
Guys! It was only a month this time! *shots fired*
Alright alright. Stuff happens and I'm working on a schedule. I'm sure you all know I'm the picture of health all the time. Yep. Totally. I have done a lot of writing though so once I get past the next chapter I should be good. Wish me luck with getting the Christmas chapter out during winter break. It'll be a freaking Christmas miracle if I can pull this off.
As we are in the wonderful month of November, I have a lot less school days, so writing should be easier.
Notes:
•We finally meet Berwald!
•Always that stupid cart!
•Ninja turtles started confusing me as their feet are made for walking, not swimming. Tortoises? Turtles? Giant reptiles who don't need masks? Yes.
•Matthias doing freaky shadow shit.
•Small children do things backwards. It makes sense if you think about it. They see it done one way (brushing hair) they hold the object the same way and it winds up backwards. My brother still has a bit of trouble with this.
•Piggyback rides! Piggybackee and piggybacker are words in the English language because I said so...
•First Lover's quarrel.
•Berwald thought they left him with the kid to go have sex if you didn't catch that.
•And now Berwald leaves for a little while. He'll be back.
•Lukas needs to learn not to sneak through people's stuff.
Thanks for holding out with me. It means a lot. Thank you for the hugs and the cake and the kind words you've given me.
I'll probably come back and edit this note or respond to reviews with PMs (if you're cool with that) but right now it's: (to the tune of Gwen stefani's four in the morning)
I'm up at four in the morning and the tears are pouring because I have to go to school. Who would wake up at this time, it must be 'cause the bus is a really long ride.
It's four and I cannot rhyme nor parody properly. Sue me.
Speaking of suing. Don't sue me. I don't own hetalia. Disclaimed. (Do I have to include that every chapter?... It's pretty obvious I don't own hetalia.)
Questions? Comments? Concerns? Critiques? Let me know.
I love you all. Hugs all around. Yes, they are mandatory.
-Waltz.
