Chapter 11


Harry pivoted about at the distinctive crack of apparition. He glared at Hermione. "I really don't want to talk to you right now," he said with a guttural growl.

Hermione blinked back tears. "That's fine," she replied.

Harry blinked. "Then why are you here?" He asked pointedly.

"Because I'm not going to let you leave me behind." She said softly.

Harry threw his hands up in the air. "Well tough shit! I don't want you around." Hermione started to sniffle. "Shit… fine. If you're here, why don't you tell me what the Hell happened, and why you thought it was a brilliant idea to fuck around with my bloody memories," Harry spat.

"Oh Harry, I never meant to hurt you…"

"Of course not," Harry snapped, "it never happened! Not like I can remember a bloody thing!"

Hermione winced. "Harry…"

"What?"

She sighed. "Do you want to remember?"

"No," Harry said calmly, "I don't." He turned and started walking away. Hermione winced in pain and hurried after him.

"Harry! You can't mean that!" She grabbed his arm.

Harry half-heartedly tried to shake off her grip. "The Hell I don't," he muttered. Tears ran down Hermione's face, but she didn't let go of Harry's arm as they walked aimlessly down the empty street. After a few minutes he stopped abruptly.

"So… when did you plan on telling Ron?" Harry asked quietly.

Hermione shook her head. "I don't know."

For the first time in his life, Harry felt tempted to give Hermione a Snape-worthy sneer. "You don't know? Don't you think he might have noticed something, say, on your wedding night?" He spat out.

Hermione shuddered. "I… I figured I'd tell him that my hymen broke while horseback riding as a child."

"How terribly honest of you," Harry said with a trace of contempt. "That's the sort of mutual respect that a solid marriage is built on. Oh, wait, what the hell do I know?" Harry resisted the smack his hand against his face. "And I suppose that the Weasleys, being such a progressive family, wouldn't possibly follow some old-fashioned tradition that might involve certain invasively informative spells?"

Hermione paled. She hadn't considered that nuance, but it did sound right up Molly's alley.

"And then what? You think Ron would just forgive and forget?" Harry asked flatly. "After all, he's shown how well he handles jealousy."

Hermione shuddered. "What do you want me to say?" She asked pitifully.

"I don't know." Harry shrugged miserably. "I really have no idea what you could possibly say."

"Can I try to explain?" Hermione said quietly. Harry grunted. "I… we… it wasn't supposed to happen. After Ron left us… it hurt so bad. You just, I just, oh Harry you remember how awful it was?"

Harry grunted. "Of course. Well, at least I think I do."

Hermione winced. "Harry… I didn't… it was only once..." Harry cocked an eyebrow. Hermione shook her head, tears streaming down her cheeks. "Harry, what kind of monster do you take me for?"

Harry deflated. "I don't, Hermione, it's just too damn much, okay. The whole thing was too damn much and this…" He waved his hand as if gesturing towards some unseen object.

"I know, Harry, I know." She took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "Well, it happened a few weeks after Ron left. We were both so damn tired and hungry and frustrated. I was going to wake you up but you were having this horrible nightmare and when I shook your shoulder… I couldn't take the pain in your eyes… I had to do something… so I held you and you held me and oh Harry it felt so good, you know, just to be held…"

"No, I don't," Harry muttered.

Hermione blinked. "Don't what?" She asked softly.

"Know how good it felt…"

"Harry, please let me undo this!" Hermione cried.

Harry shrugged. "Can't be undone," he said flatly.

She shook her head. "I meant the memory charm."

"I know what you meant. Like I said before, it doesn't matter. I'd rather not remember." Hermione clutched his arm and sobbed.

"Oh Merlin Harry, I'm sorry!"

"Why did you do it?" He asked, resignation dampening his anger.

"I don't know… I mean, we are both teenagers and between the stress and the fear and the…"

"Not that!" Harry interrupted quickly. "I mean why did you wipe my memory?" Hermione mumbled something into Harry's arm. "I didn't catch that," he said.

Hermione pulled her face away from his damp sleeve and sniffled. "I thought you were going to leave me behind," she said softly.

That stopped Harry in his tracks. "Wait, what?"

"It was horrible. Afterwards you just kept going on and on about how it was a mistake and how sorry you were and how you wish it had never happened and so I just…"

Harry just stared at her. "So that's it? I was hurt and confused so you decided to take the memory away from me?" He asked, his voice soft and flat. Hermione winced and nodded. "Just like that?" Hermione nodded again. "No discussions, no arguments, you didn't bother trying to let us figure the whole thing out?" He said, more of a statement than a question. Hermione shook, but nodded. "Let go," Harry said flatly.

Hermione stared at him, wide-eyed. "What?"

"Let go. Let me go. Don't talk to me. Don't follow me."

"But… but…"

"Stop," Harry said without emotion. "Stop pretending that Snape did a damn thing, that we're married, that you give a damn. Just stop." He forcefully wrenched his arm out of her grasp. "Go back to your parents. Hell, go back to the Burrow, I don't give a damn, just be sure to tell Ron exactly what we did before you two get back together." He looked at Hermione "I really thought…" He smirked. "It's funny, really, that for a little while I thought maybe Snape might actually have gotten it right." He shook his head, the mocking smirk still on his lips. "Gonna have words with him…" He mumbled to himself. The smirk vanished from his face. "You know, these last couple of weeks I've figured out what that greasy bastard was trying to tell me. I don't deserve this shit; I never have, and just because people keep feeding it to me doesn't make it right. Dumbledore said he cared. Fuck Dumbledore. Ron said he was my best friend. Fuck Ron, and now…" Harry shook his head and turned away from Hermione.

"Fuck you."

He walked off, leaving Hermione sobbing miserably behind him.