Chapter 11
'Are you alright?' asked Elizabeth as she watched Sara running towards her at the departure gate.
'I thought we were going to miss our flight' she added, grabbing her friend's arm and guiding her towards the gate while the last of the passengers trickled in. 'How did it go?'
'I'll tell you all about it on the plane' answered Sara, breathless.
She'd cut things awfully close – feeling as though she could have stayed by Linda Bennett's side for hours, getting to know her better. There were still so many unanswered questions but they would have to wait for another day.
The two friends settled into their seats and Sara took a long, cleansing breath; her mind was reeling from the flurry of information she'd managed to uncover over the past few hours. El sat patiently by her side, waiting for Sara to be ready to fill her in on what had happened. By the time the plane left the ground, Sara was on a roll, words spilling out of her at breakneck speed as she processed the information she'd just gathered.
'El, she's a sad, lonely woman' she began. 'She was really messed up when Neal was little. When her husband got arrested and went to jail, she was totally thrown for a loop. She was left with an active, impulsive three year old in a city where she didn't know a soul – except for Ellen. Then, she got mixed up with this nasty guy and she began to drink and do drugs and...'
'Slow down, honey' El said, taking her hand. 'It's a two hour flight.'
Sara took a breath; her mind was going a mile a minute. Her instincts told her that she could trust Linda Bennett and that meeting his mom would help Neal finally let go of all that pain and anger he'd harbored since he was a kid. Convincing him of that would be a whole other thing, though.
'She's the first to admit she was a horrible mother to Neal but it's obvious she's suffered a lot too' she continued, lowering her voice. 'El, she'd been in touch with June for years and June was sending her pictures and keeping her informed of what was happening with Neal – with us.'
'You're kidding!' El said, her mouth agape. 'How do you think Neal's going to take that news?'
Sara shrugged. 'I don't know. The last thing I want is for Neal to be upset about what June did – their relationship was so special. Linda says that June didn't want to talk to her at first, she didn't want to betray Neal's trust but over time June realized that Linda just needed to be reassured and she began to send her pictures and e-mails.'
Elizabeth listened, enthralled. Sara looked up at her and gave her a weak smile.
'Oh God!' El said, fully realizing the impact of Sara's actions. 'Are you going to tell him everything?'
'Of course...I have to' Sara answered, her voice shaky. 'I was wrong to keep this from him in the first place but now... El, I really think that Neal should sit down and talk to her and finally let go of that dark little place in his heart where he keeps all that anger and resentment.'
Elizabeth listened and thought of Neal, how he'd managed to cover up that hurt when she'd first met him – the conman who'd masterfully conned himself. Over the years, he'd made more and more room for genuine love and affection – for her, for Peter, for Sara and, eventually, for the kids. But that hurt little boy still hovered right under the surface and every day, Neal had to push that pain aside in order to fully live his life. Maybe Sara was right; maybe helping him let go of that pain would truly set him free.
WCWCWC
It was 7:50 by the time Sara made it home. El had dropped her off at the Park 'n Ride in White Plains so she could pick up her car and drive home as she did every night. She sat in their driveway, staring up at the house – Neal would be waiting, probably with dinner and a big smile on his face. She had to talk to him – tonight. She couldn't keep this from him any longer; the deception had begun to eat at her like a bad rash.
She'd have a shower and a bite to eat and then they could sit quietly and discuss things, without histrionics. She hoped Neal would be able forgive her for going behind his back – that was the first hurdle; he didn't usually hold grudges but all bets would be off if he felt she'd betrayed him. Then, she had to make him understand where his mom was coming from. That would take a lot more time and work but she'd start slow and let him process what she had to say.
She got out of the car and she'd taken a few tentative steps towards the house when she spotted Liam bursting out of the front door.
'Hey Mom!' he said with a smile.
'Hey honey, where are you off to?' she asked.
'Just heading over to Will's to study for that math test' he answered as he gave her a peck on the cheek.
'Alright, be home by 10' she reminded him.
'Yes mother' he answered by rote – as if his dad hadn't said the exact same thing to him no more than thirty seconds before.
Sara stepped into the quiet house and set her things down by the door, heading back towards the kitchen on her quest to find Neal.
'What'd you forget, buddy?' she heard from the family room as she followed the voice she loved to come home to.
'Oh, honey, you're home!' Neal exclaimed, face smiling as she came into view.
He got up from his comfortable spot on the couch where he'd been watching something on television and he opened his arms to greet her.
'Long day at the office, baby?' he asked as he hugged her, lovingly rubbing his hand up and down her back.
'You would not believe' she said, keeping the deception going just a few moments longer. She couldn't quite bring herself to look into his eyes and she wiggled out of his grasp, anxious to step into a nice, hot shower.
'Give me a minute to jump in the shower and I'll be right back' she said, turning back towards the stairs at the front of the house.
'Okay' Neal said with a touch of mischief in his voice, looking like he was looking forward to a little canoodling. 'I'll be right here...'
He heard her run up the stairs and he settled back down to watch the end of the show he wasn't really paying attention to. He thought of the long day Sara had just put in at the office and wondered if he should make her something to eat, maybe an omelet or a grilled cheese sandwich - she must be starved.
'Honey!' he called up from his spot on the couch 'Have you eaten?'
He could hear Sara's footsteps above his head and he hurriedly made his way to the front of the house to call up to her before she turned on the shower.
'Sara!' he called again, cursing as he tripped over his wife's bag and purse, sending various and sundry items tumbling out all over the hard wood floor. She was always the first one to nag the kids whenever they left their shoes or bags right at the front door – something she was just as guilty of doing as they were.
A lipstick case rolled all the way under the living room couch and Neal grumbled as he got on all fours to retrieve it. He'd just returned to the open bag and was grabbing a number of odds and ends that had fallen out when he noticed a strangely familiar piece of paper – one he recognized from his many forays outside New York. He picked up the airline ticket receipt and squinted as he attempted to read what was written on it. With great effort, he managed to make out the destination on the ticket receipt: St. Louis, Missouri. He frowned and walked back to the kitchen to fetch the pair of reading glasses he always kept by his recipe books and he sat at the kitchen table to better examine the piece of paper in his hand.
Upon scrutiny, Neal could see that the receipt was made out to Sara Ellis for a return flight to St. Louis dated that very day, departing JFK at 7:15 and arriving back in New York City at 18:40. He stared down at the table, trying to logically explain away the unexpected discovery; whatever reason Sara had for taking a return trip to St. Louis, she obviously hadn't wanted him to know about it. He cringed as he realized she'd just lied to him, no more than five minutes earlier, when she'd complained about her long day at the office. Sara was a straight shooter, preferring a drag 'em out fight rather than avoiding a touchy subject through misdirection or lies. He sat puzzled as to her motivations for not telling him the truth.
A troubling thought crossed his mind as he reflected on his mom's recent attempts at contacting him and he pushed the thought aside immediately; surely, this couldn't have anything to do with that. Try as he might, he couldn't come up with one single theory that would explain why his wife of almost twenty years would lie to him and leave the city for a day without telling him.
He was still sitting there, mulling things over, when Sara returned in a robe and bare feet. She made her way to where he sat, lacing her arms around his neck and whispering in his ear.
'That feels better' she said as she kissed his cheek.
She made her way to the fridge and began rummaging for leftovers, oblivious to Neal's glare on her back, sitting there uncertain as to how to tackle the situation. When she turned around to face him, she immediately spotted the incriminating receipt in his hand and watched as his eyes glared back at her, waiting for her to come clean with some logical explanation for his discovery.
'Neal...' she said, breathless '...I can explain...'
Neal just kept staring, not knowing what to think.
'I...honey, I...' she continued, not helping her case in any way.
'Please tell me this has nothing to do with my mother' Neal finally said, his voice calm as he stared her down intently.
The look on her face said it all and Neal was up like a shot, exploding with anger.
'It does, doesn't it!' he screamed as Sara stepped back, startled by the intensity of his voice.
Her eyes instantly filled with tears; this was not at all how she'd planned on explaining things to him. She'd imagined herself, composed and calm, hand holding his while she lovingly explained what she'd done - and why.
Her guilty silence filled the room as Neal began to put the pieces together.
'Sara, this has nothing to do with you. You had no business sticking your nose in' he continued, livid.
'Neal, please, let me explain...' she began, her voice meek.
'Explain? Explain what? That you lied to me and went behind my back – sticking your nose into something that has nothing to do with you' he screamed menacingly, waving the receipt in her face.
'But I wanted to help...' she started again.
'You wanted to help? Help with what, Sara? Didn't I make myself clear when you asked me the other day? I don't want to have anything to do with her... that woman has nothing to do with us or with our lives. Which part of that didn't you understand?' he continued shouting angrily, his finger wagging menacingly before her eyes.
He began fishing around the kitchen island, ostensibly looking for car keys as Sara moved in a bit closer, reaching out to touch his arm.
'Neal, please...' she began.
'DON'T' he shouted as he glared at her. 'Don't you even...'
In a totally uncharacteristic gesture, Neal lashed out angrily, physically pushing her out of his way as he stormed out of the kitchen and towards the front of the house, slamming the door loudly as he left.
Sara stood in shock, still trying to process what had just happened, all her good intentions up in smoke.
TBC
