Thank you for being patient; sorry for the wait. I hope everyone is still enjoying. For those of you who review - thank you! You are appreciated! For those of your who don't - Please review - I can't say it enough. Many people are viewing and adding this story to their favorites, but not as many are reviewing. If you like it, what parts did you like? Anything too out of character? Anything you would like to see? I have the ending written - and the next few chapters in draft format. Review :-) And Enjoy!
Chapter 11 Twinkling Lights; Refreshing Threats
Soft white lights twinkled from the edges of the Coyne lakeside home. Thick pine garlands wrapped their way around railings and sprays of winter flowers hung above doorways and perched on tables. Christmas reds and greens dotted the home with a mingling of sparkling silver and snowy white. From the antique keys hanging from red velvet ribbon in the entry to the smell of cookie dough in the kitchen, the house was decked out for the holidays. Holly J seethed nonetheless as she stabbed red and white roses into a waiting vase. Declan had sent them after he'd left for school that morning and they'd arrived before she and Jane were set to leave for the hospital. They'd had an argument the night before, mostly about how she needed to rest and do less - when all she wanted to do was break free of her own body; it was betraying her. Since she couldn't scream at her illness, she screamed at Declan. He took it rather well; otherwise there would have been no roses.
"Is there a reason you're maiming the roses?" Jane asked, her spoon frozen above her cereal bowl as she appeared in the doorway. Holly J ignored her and continued her abrupt arranging. "Is there a particular problem - or should I just guess?"
"I'm fine," Holly J said, pausing to close her eyes and forcing herself to move on; she was too tired to seethe. She reopened her blue orbs and faced Jane. "What are you doing today?"
"No real plans," Jane answered. "I might go with Spin and Sav to see some band tonight - its local. Otherwise, I'm trying to get ahead with some of the reading for next semester. Who knew Stanford was hard?" They both knew she was lying; she loved University; it was the perfect place for her. "What about you?"
"Five page paper on Aeschylus's plays. Bio lab report for a lab I didn't do - and hopefully a week's worth of calculus - I've fallen behind again."
"I can help you this afternoon - if you want to get started before Clare gets here." Holly J shook her head.
"I need your help with something else. It's almost Christmas and I haven't done any shopping. I don't have anything for anyone - and I'm worried it's not going to get done." Normally, Holly J adored the holiday season. This year, it had snuck in amongst treatments and doctors' appointments.
Jane tried to talk her into online shopping but that ideas was immediately shot down. Eventually, she was obliged to take Holly J shopping after treatments. Jane wasn't sure how well the plan would work, considering that time was normally taken up by vomiting and sleeping. Holly J was not to be deterred.
After her chemotherapy treatment, Holly J normally bolted for the car in hopes of making it home before the vomiting began. That day, she lay back in the overstuffed chair and held the basin in front of her. "You can't will yourself to puke faster," Jane warned her, understanding her friend's intentions and motivations. "Let's just go home - we'll go back out after you feel better."
"That would be fantastic - if I ever felt better," Holly J snapped. She realized her tone and began to apologize, but it was too late; the nausea had hit.
"Don't worry about it," Jane responded, knowing what the other girl had been about to say. "You're allowed to be upset. She twisted Holly J's red hair up and back, securing it with a clip from her purse. She folded a paper towel and dampened it, placing the cold compress on the back of Holly J's neck. Eventually, after she stopped, Jane handed her tissues and a cup of water to rinse her mouth.
Tears streamed down Holly J's cheeks. She hated more than anything looking weak. And she did look weak. Jane knew the reason she was crying; she heard about it at least once a week. "Stop crying," she said, handing her friend more tissues. "Before you know it, you're going to be back to normal. This is temporary." Jane put an arm around Holly J, hugging her close. Holly J nodded and eventually the tears subsided.
Thirty minutes later, they were in the car headed to the nearest shopping outlet. Other than the need to stop and rest after just about every store, they had a good time. She enjoyed her new credit cards; Holly J Coyne had a good deal more money than Holly J Sinclair. Rarely had she used that to her advantage; but Christmas qualified as a splurge-worthy occasion in her book. They arrived home with just enough time for all the presents to be stowed in Jane's room and Holly J to change and crawl into bed before Declan arrived home from school. He would have never approved of their excursion; neither woman intended to make him any the wiser. Twice more Jane was forced to be Holly J's partner in crime before her shopping list was finished. If Declan noticed his wife's more-than-usual exhaustion, it was never mentioned.
The week before Christmas found the Coyne home filled to capacity. Fiona, Declan, and both their parents were in attendance. Spinner had taken a few days off from work and was spending most of his time with Jane. School having been let out on vacation, so Anya and Sav were spending time with Holly J and Clare, Eli, and Adam were spending time with Fiona.
A few days before the actual holiday, Declan was walking through the upstairs hallway, intent on finding his mother. He normally wouldn't have stopped at listened at Jane's door, but it was open partially; and he heard key words that made him curious; transfer – postpone – withdrawal.
"You can't do this," Declan said, entering the room without knocking. "Holly J won't stand for it - neither will I."
"It's a damn good thing you don't make my decisions for me," Jane answered, not appreciating his tone. She was sitting at the desk in her room, her laptop open to a Stanford website. Declan had heard the ending of her call; he guessed she had been speaking to her advisor; possibly the registrar. She was planning to take a semester off from Stanford; to defer her scholarship. "It's my life, Declan - I can do what I want."
Declan closed the bedroom door. "You can't stay here for her - she'll hate it. And she'll feel guilty - and she doesn't have time or energy for that."
"You can't do this on your own," Jane argued. "She won't let you - her mother is no help. Fiona is afraid to even be in a room alone with her. Your mother has enough on her plate. What else do you suggest?"
"We'll hire a nurse if we have to."
Jane scoffed and shook her head. "You think she's going to like that any better?"
"I don't have all the answers - but I won't let you do this," Declan yelled, his frustration clear.
The door flew open and Spinner and Holly J stood on the other side. "Please tell me there's a good reason you two are behind a closed door? And a damn good reason you're yelling at my girlfriend," Spinner said, his eyes flaming at Declan.
"Spin," Jane said calmly. "It's fine. We were just having a disagreement."
"I don't care," Spinner answered. "He doesn't get to yell at you. And I thought we agreed you two weren't going to be alone together."
"Spin, I really don't think you need to worry. I'm sure they were arguing about me," Holly J said weakly, moving past him to reach Jane's bed. She crawled onto the King sized mattress and lay on her side, giving her a decent vantage point for the argument that she figured would continue.
"Are you ever going to get over this?" Jane asked, her anger clearly boiling. "I made a mistake - over a year ago! I can't apologize anymore, Spinner. I'm not attracted to Declan - or anyone else. For some unknown reason, I love you." She shook her head and ran from the room.
"Go after her," Holly J ordered; she was not going to allow her illness to destroy a relationship; it had done enough damage already. Spinner disappeared; knowing better than to ignore the sick redhead. Declan swooped his wife off Jane's bed and carried her into their room, worried that she seemed lighter than she had the day before. He knew he needed to speak with Jane; but it would have to wait. Holly J had enough to worry about.
On Christmas morning, Holly J woke early and carefully removed herself from Declan's grip before padding barefoot to the bathroom. After brushing her teeth, she reached for her hairbrush and the poinsettia-bedazzled-hair-band she planned to wear that day. The brush was two strokes through when she felt something different. She reached to the back of her head and pulled loose a clump of her beautiful auburn locks. Declan found her a few minutes later, crying as she desperately clung to the clump of hair. He gathered her into his arms and whispered, "I'm so sorry." It was the best he could do under the circumstances.
It wasn't noticeable, once her hair was brushed and curled. It didn't much matter; she knew it was starting. She trembled as she stepped into a black dress with a red ribbon belt and a matching red sweater. Declan tried to talk to her but she remained numb. Although her brain told her it was vanity, her heart knew differently; it was the first tangible evidence of death and sickness. Her beautiful, thick mane of red hair was going to be lost.
It took nearly an hour, but they eventually dressed and joined their gathered friends and family in the library where the largest tree had been set up. Jane and Spinner were sitting on a love seat closest to it, boxed in on most sides by the large amount of presents that had found their way under and beside the eight foot blue spruce. Fiona lounged against Mr. Coyne, who was on one of the sofas flipping through the newspaper. Holly J and Declan sat on the floor in front of them, their backs against the sofa. Just then, Laura Coyne stepped into the room with a tray of coffee cups and two pots.
"Wonderful, everyone is here!" She exclaimed, setting aside the tray as soon as she noticed Holly J and Declan. "We can start opening presents. The coffee can wait." She fluttered around the tree, pulling out boxes and handing them around until everyone in the room had a package.
"Mrs. Coyne," Jane argued, "you didn't need to do this," she said, looking down at the package.
"I know," Laura said. "That makes it more fun. And you and Gavin have become part of the family. It's only right." Declan, meanwhile, had wandered to a closet and pulled from it several shopping bags brimming with gifts. He placed them close to where he was sitting and sat back down next to Holly J before handing the top gift to his mother. After 18 years with their mother, he and Fiona had picked up a few habits; they were quality Christmas shoppers.
"Here's one for you, mom. No complaining."
"You didn't need to do that - but thank you," Laura said, smiling as she took it. "Okay - youngest first. It's still you, Fifi." Fiona shook her head at the vast unfairness of being younger than Declan by a mere two minutes and carefully removed the red and silver wrapping and red silk bow from the perfectly wrapped package. Inside was a beautiful platinum watch encrusted with diamonds and tied with a stylishly classic satin bow. Fiona squealed in pleasure, hugging her father and jumping up to do the same for her mother. Declan was next to open his box and be pleasantly surprised with a new ipod that had a dock for his car. Holly J opened her package. It was oddly shaped, about a foot square and three or four inches thick. It was an album. Upon opening it, she found her wedding - the proposal, the process, the events itself - had all been documented and beautifully scrapbooked. The neat script that filled the book belonged to Laura; and immediately Holly J knew the books had been made by the matriarch herself.
She was in awe. No one had ever given her anything so personal; so valuable and thoughtful. Even most of Declan's gifts were more about the monetary value than the sentimental one. "If you don't like it, it can be redone," Laura said. "I thought the white and silvery gray went better with your wedding colors than white and black - but we can do whatever you like. It's just a draft-"
"It's perfect," Holly J stammered. Her eyes filled with tears and she pushed the book to Declan, throwing her arms around Laura and hiding her tearful eyes. It took them a good hour to open their presents. After, they sat together in the dining room and enjoyed the beautiful brunch that Laura had prepared. Holly J knew that she had most of her events catered; but she was a fantastic cook in her own right. Declan was annoyingly consistent in his attempt to fill her plate. Every time he put something on his own piece of Waterford china, he placed some on Holly J's. "Next time you put food on my plate, this fork goes through your hand," she said in a cheerfully threatening voice, leaning close to whisper in his ear. Declan bit back a chuckle and nodded. He was happy she was threatening him; her recent exhaustion had taken away a bit of her edge; it was a refreshing moment when it came out.
