There was a trick to leaving Storybrooke. So long as in your heart and mind one planned to return, a person could leave for a short time. Although, if there was for a moment doubt you would return, or if one had no intention to, there was no escape.
Mr. Gold had left Storybrooke, on more than one occasion. Retrieving Henry for instance. Today, he had closed his shop to travel to Boston and now he sat in his study. His trip to Boston had consisted of visiting a jeweler. Of course, there was a very capable jeweler in Storybrooke, Clyde Kingsley. However, considering his purchase, Mr. Gold needed a jeweler who neither knew or cared who he was and in Boston he could achieve that anonymity.
He wasn't entirely sure what had possessed him to go, why the sudden need when so much was uncertain. But he had already determined that he couldn't live without Lucy in his life. One way or other, she would be his and though the day of the Sheriff's funeral things had remained uncertain between them, he had gleaned enough to know there was hope. Perhaps more than just a little hope, if he could believe that her fear of losing him was real and more than just something passing because of the recent death of the Sheriff.
Sitting back in his armchair, he closed his eyes and thought. He couldn't get it out of his head; being able to hold her, how perfect it felt to have her in his arms, how her body seemed to mold and simply... fit with his like they belonged together.
Eyes slowly opening, he turned his brown gaze to the contents of the small open box he held in his right hand. He'd gotten something fairly simple and not extravagant. If he hoped Lucy would ever wear it, he thought it best. She didn't particularly seem the flashy type.
The band was platinum. The center diamond was a Princess cut, he'd thought it only fitting. The band wasn't a thin one, but it wasn't particularly thick either. On each side of the center piece, there were smaller diamonds set on the band, though they did not wrap all the way around. They were all very clear and well cut and had fetched a high price, but that didn't really matter to him.
Shutting the box, Mr. Gold stood from where he sat behind his large ornate desk and turned. Pulling on the framed painting behind his desk, he was quick to store the ring away in his wall-safe. The ring would remain there for the time being, for an indefinite amount of time. He wasn't sure he would ever get the opportunity to ask, but he'd have the ring in case, that symbol of his hope.
There was time, he had to wait. It wasn't like he could ask the girl to marry him while she was underaged. In that time, he could observe and wait patiently. See if what she felt for him was more than affection. If it could be love.
XX
"What's wrong with the mayor's kid?" Lucy asked as she sat on the couch, thinking of Henry Mill's who she had just seen leaving. He looked incredibly depressed. She didn't think she had ever seen a more miserable looking kid.
Dr. Hopper closed the door quietly behind himself before taking a seat opposite of Lucy. He sighed heavily as he sat opposite of her. "He's taking the Sheriff's passing very hard," Archie merely replied, though there was a lot more going on there but he wasn't about to share that with Lucy. Focusing now all his attention on the teenager before him, he eyes her carefully to gage how she was doing, but she had her wall up already. However, he was concerned about the bags under her eyes, she wasn't sleeping well and he would have to ask her about it. "I can't imagine it's been particularly easy for you either. You spent a lot of time with the Sheriff while you were volunteering at the station, and I know you two became friends."
Lucy settled back onto the couch. "I still have a hard time believing he's gone. That I won't see him again," Lucy responded with a furrowing of her brow. "I'm angry, because he was young and he shouldn't have died in the prime of his life. Not when he had so much left to live for still, when he had hope!"
Archie was surprised as Lucy stared off into space, her voice becoming louder and angry. But there were no tears, she seemed past that point. However, she was actually sharing and Archie wondered why that was, but he wasn't about to ask. He was simply relieved she was letting it out. "Have you talked to anyone else about your feelings?"
"I don't really want to talk about them. Minerva tried, the day of the funeral and I suppose I spoke a little of them to her... how it seems surreal," Lucy said with a shrug and a sigh.
"What have you been doing lately?" Archie asked, seeing that Lucy was done with that subject, and not wanting to push it at the moment. He felt that if she vented a little, that she was doing better than he expected. However, he wanted to know if she was going on with her life; wanted to know how she was adjusting.
"I've been swimming a lot more. It's the only place I really feel at peace. Father's been a bit more lenient with me and lets me go out, so I've been taking a lot of walks on the beach. If it weren't getting colder, I'd go for a swim there but I suppose its just enough to watch and see the waves," Lucy replied as she chose to lay on the couch on her side, she felt exhausted. "I haven't really been able to sleep lately either and when I do, I have strange dreams."
"Oh? What kind of dreams?" Archie asked. Lucy had never really mentioned having dreams. She had on a few occasions, but she said that usually she didn't remember anything at all about them.
"That I'm underwater... swimming deep, deep in the sea, but I don't have to come up for air because I can breathe underwater, like a fish or something. And I'm swimming to a palace of gold I can see in the distance and it feels like I'm going home, but I never seem to be able to reach it," Lucy said with a furrowed brow, her hair falling and obscuring part of her face, but she was too tired to bother pushing it out of her face.
"But it's not the same dream every night. Sometimes I dream of a man... but he's not really a man. I can't really see his face, but his skin is kind of olive-toned, it kind of looks grainy like sand, but has flecks of gold too. It's strange, because sometimes it looks grayish. Almost like it changes like the skin of a chameleon. And his eyes... I can't see his face but his eyes... they are big that you can't see any white along the sides and they seem to glow a yellowish color.
"He frightens me, or something about him does. Not so much his appearance, but something... but at the same time I'm drawn to him. Like I want to go to him, but something stops me. Something keeps me away from him. I don't know if its distance, or some barrier I can't see, or just the fear, but I can't get near to him. But I have to... its like if I don't I will just disappear... or turn into foam."
Lucy closed her eyes for a moment as she thought of that man in her dream. Something innate inside her told her that the man was somehow her dream interpretation of Mr. Gold. But she couldn't tell Dr. Hopper that. He would wonder why she thought that was and why of all people Mr. Gold. And she didn't want to have to explain how she knew him, or why she thought that. She kept Mr. Gold out of these sessions. He was her heart's secret and had to remain that way to protect him.
"What do you think it all means?" Archie asked, feeling that what she thought was more important than his own conjectures.
"Their just dreams, I try not to think of them," Lucy replied, opening her eyes. "I have other things to worry about. I can't pick a song to perform for the talent show... and I only have a few weeks to pick it, and practice it to perfection so I don't make a fool of myself."
Archie furrowed his brow at this. There was something about her performing for the talent show that he felt was blocking her, but he couldn't figure out what it was and he was unsure if Lucy knew either. He knew it had nothing to do with performance anxiety. "Lucy, why do you think you're having such trouble picking a song?"
Lucy was sure she had figured this one out already, from sitting for hours merely staring at the waves rolling in on the beach. They gave her a sort of clarity, she supposed because it allowed her to meditate. And of course, it was all wrapped up in Mr. Gold.
She'd only ever sang for Mr. Gold, she wanted to only ever sing Mr. Gold. She wasn't sure why, it was simply the way she felt, it was something that was ingrained inside of her. In order to be able to sing at the talent show, she felt she'd need to sing a song that she could pretend was just for him, that only he would hear. But she couldn't find the perfect song.
"I suppose I just want a song that will make the audience actually feel something, not be mere entertainment," Lucy lied. Although, she supposed it wasn't really a complete lie. "Music should be felt, not simply heard."
Archie smiled at this, that was profound in a way he knew he should expect from Lucy. However, a thought suddenly occurred to him. "You know Lucy, this could be an excellent way for you to work out your feelings of grief. Music and the arts are a wonderful way to work through emotions. And the loss of the Sheriff is certainly something very many people are feeling."
Lucy sat up suddenly at this and blinked. "I hadn't thought about that," she said, furrowing her brow as she considered what he said. She found, that it wasn't really a terrible idea, and a song popped into her head that could express the way she felt at the sudden loss of her friend and about her desire to stay near Mr. Gold.
XX
Mr. Gold settled the box he brought in with him from the Sheriffs apartment, after rummaging through his things for what he thought might be worth keeping and placed them on the floor. Of late, he'd tried to keep his mind occupied.
The death of the Sheriff left more than just an apartment of things he had to clear out, it left a position open. A high position, one he was sure Regina would fill up with someone she could keep under her thumb. Something he simply couldn't allow, there had to be changes in Storybrooke, and he was no longer content to allow Regina to have power over that branch. And so the plotting began, and he had chosen the perfect candidate. Someone who owed him a certain favor, and whose corner he felt he should be in. The things he had kept of the Sheriff, they were merely an enticement for Emma Swan and to remind her of the man who she must needs replace, a man she had grown fond of and who was spiraling out of Regina's control.
Besides, he couldn't deny that it didn't keep his mind occupied and off other things or rather... people. Though the girl had given him hope, he still was not able to see her, and being away from her was painful.
The bell chiming over his shop signaled the entrance of a potential costumer. Mr. Gold grimaced at this, of late he was really in no mood to deal with people, and had to really strive to keep his always polite and soft-spoken manner. His immense sense of control over his person was slipping, and he didn't like it in the least. And after spending the previous evening cleaning out the Sheriffs apartment and packing up a few things that he thought might interest Emma Swan, he was in no mood at all. He was tired, and severely annoyed.
Looking around his office for a moment, he grimaced. He needed to straighten this room was well. Since Lucy had stopped coming, he had changed the layout a bit. He found that keeping it the way it had been brought too many memories of her back to him. He had moved the couch she had occupied and though it clashed with the décor of his home, he had left it in the basement. The amp, he had stored out of sight. And he had accumulated several new items that he had to get shelves and set them up around the room to hold them. It left the room in quite a bit of a mess which he needed to straighten out.
However, he hadn't time at the present to ponder this. Turning around, he walked out of the office and past the curtain and into the shop. His heart stopped as he saw Lucy, standing at the counter on which the register rested. Immediately his heart then started to speed up as he walked steadily to stand opposite of her, making sure the counter was between them. He no longer trusted his excellent sense of control, he needed the buffer between them.
"Lucy, aren't you a sight for sore eyes," he said, not able to help the smile that appeared on his face as he looked at her. She was wearing a purple peacoat and a plain, black, long-sleeved shirt and what appeared to be a very fitted pair of black jeans. For a moment, he thought considering the dark colors that she was wearing that she was still grieving the Sheriff. However, the smile she flashed at him and the sparkle in her eyes reassured him. The smile was so beautiful that it seemed to stop time. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"
"I wanted to see you," she replied, when she got over the breathlessness she felt when she saw that smile on his face. It was one she had never before seen, one she wasn't sure if anyone had ever had the pleasure to see before. It was... so warm and open that she couldn't help the large smile that spread on her own countenance or the way her heart fluttered at the sight of it.
Mr. Gold was sure his heart was thudding so loudly that all of Storybrooke must hear his tell-tale heart. "And how did you manage to get around your strict father?" he asked slightly teasingly and with a good deal of curiosity.
"I think my sister Minerva must have convinced him into giving me a few liberties," Lucy replied with a shrug of her shoulders, not wanting to ruin the immense sense of happiness she felt to be in his presence by mentioning Graham. She rested her hands on the counter and leaned forward against it for a moment, afraid her knees might give out in any moment and needing something to occupy her hands.
"And how have you been, my dear?" he asked softly, still a bit concerned for her considering the way she looked when they last saw each other.
"Much better. As you may know I'm participating in my school's talent show and it's... a good outlet and distraction. I've also been going to the beach a lot and I think the fresh air has done me good," she replied with a smile. She couldn't stop smiling.
"It makes me very glad to hear that," he said in that soft tone of his that she could not doubt its sincerity. Lucy nodded and looked away, down at the counter for a moment. She felt a bit nervous suddenly, as she thought of what her true purpose in coming to his pawn shop was for. Mr Gold was a busy man, and she felt that he may not want to go. However, she was determined to try. So reaching into her pocket, she pulled a slightly thick, long strip with print on it.
"I actually wanted to invite you to see me," Lucy stated, laying the ticket on the counter and sliding her hand across to him, slowly looking up. "The talent show isn't for two more weeks, there are only two evening performances which are open to parents and students alike, or anyone in town who wishes to go. Surprisingly, a lot of people go, so you buy your ticket in advance. This ticket will get you into either Friday or Saturday evening's show. I'd like you to come see me perform, although you don't have to, I know you're a very busy man."
Mr. Gold stared into the green eyes he saw every moment he closed his eyes even for a moment. Looking slowly away from those sparkling gems, he looked at her long slender hand, with its elegant and nimble fingers. Slowly, he reached for the ticket underneath, his fingers grazing hers and causing a little shockwave of electricity that sparked up every nerve in his body. He looked up, their hands both touching the ticket, neither one pulling away.
Her eyes were glued on his, her lips were parted slightly in surprised. He could see a faint tinge of pink on her cheeks. "Of course I'll come, I wouldn't miss you singing for anything," he stated softly, his gaze holding hers. A smile broke out on her face, though Lucy felt nervous flutters in her stomach.
"Well then, I suppose I will see you," Lucy said, with slight regret pulling her hand away. However, she didn't have much of a reason to stay much longer, other than her desire to remain in his presence.
Mr. Gold nodded simply. He hated to see her go, but the mere fact that she came, that she wanted him to see her perform... it was enough to sustain him. "Thank you for the invitation, I'm honored," he offered with a small dimpled smile that turned Lucy's insides into mush. Lucy blushed slightly at this and nodded before turning and walking out of the shop as composed as she could. However, her heart was trilling and there was a small bounce in her step as she went.
TBC...
A/n: So usually this story, I have like four full chapters written ahead, this gives me plenty of time for editing. The reason for the slowing of the updates is because at present, I only have chapter 12 written and completed and edited ahead, that means the creative juices are slowing some. So updates will probably be slower. For those of you reviewing, its much appreciated.
