I do not own Gravity Falls.
So...long time no see...
Hope this chapter makes up for the wait. I'm going to try to aim for two updates a month (key word 'aim').
Oh, I ordered Journal 3 from the bookstore, and the cashier told me it won't arrive until September because it's crazy popular. So good job guys! Gravity Falls forever!
CC: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)
From: Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)
Subject: Slight problem…
Okay, this is completely humiliating, but I have little options at this point. Long story short, I was in the attic, looking for something, then the floor gave way. I'm stuck and nobody's home. I know I said I'd never ask you people for suggestions again, but this time I'm making an exception.
The attic was freezing, and the thin blue fleece sweater he was wearing provided him with little warmth. Dipper shivered, thinking longingly of his toasty bedroom and cursing the attic for being out of reach of the house's heating system. He glanced around the small, cluttered space for the umpteenth time but found nothing that would be helpful to him—nothing that was within reach, anyway.
"I can't believe this is happening," he moaned.
His left hand had a death grip on the wooden support beam situated in front of him. The floor was creaking madly and he feared more of the old, worn floorboards would give way. Splintered pieces of wood and screws dug into his side and there was a sharp pain in his right leg. There was a sliver of space between his waist and the broken floor that allowed him to peer down and confirm that he was not bleeding.
The bottom half of his body hung rather precariously in thin air, while his upper half was stuck tight. No amount of wiggling dislodged him. Huffing out a frustrated breath, Dipper tried one more time to pull himself out, now gripping the wooden beam with both hands.
"Come on…come on…come on!"
He yanked until his face was red with exertion and he was nearly certain some flesh had been torn off his body. Settling back into his helpless position, he shook out his throbbing hand. "I can take on Bill Cipher, but I can't free myself from a stupid hole. This sucks."
With his right hand he reached out and grabbed his slim black cellphone. He swiped his thumb across the touch screen and dialled Mabel's number. His fingers twitched anxiously at the dial tone and his lips morphed into a scowl when he once again received the voicemail message.
"Hey-o, this is Mabel! Leave me a message and I'll get back to you after I'm done doing whatever it is that made me miss your call—it's probably something awesome. Oh, and remember, pigs rule and glitter makes everything better!"
"Come on Mabel, where are you?" cried Dipper after the familiar-yet-annoying beep. "I've left, like, five messages! I've been here for ten minutes! I don't know what you're doing but you can do it later. Come and help me already!"
He hung up and noticed the red bubble attached to his e-mail app. Hoping that someone had responded to his e-mail, he tapped the blue square.
Dipper Pines: Okay, this is completely humiliating, but I have little options at this point. Long story short, I was in the attic, looking for something, then the floor gave way. I'm stuck and nobody's home. I know I said I'd never ask you people for suggestions again, but this time I'm making an exception.
Grunkle Stan: Wait, wait, let me just get something straight. Are you actually hanging between two rooms right now?
Dipper Pines: Was that not clear enough when I said that the floor gave way?
Grunkle Stan: Don't get snippy with me, mister. Just because you're in an extremely humiliating situation is no need for a bad attitude.
Dipper Pines: I meant to be sarcastic, not snappy, but I am sorry. You really don't need to point out how embarrassing this is.
Grunkle Stan: Look on the bright side—you've been in worse situations.
Dipper Pines: Can't argue with that one. Don't suppose you have any ideas?
Grunkle Stan: You got a rope?
Dipper Pines: Not within my immediate reach.
Grunkle Stan: That's all I got, then.
Wendy Corduroy: You've got a sister.
Dipper Pines: Yeah, a sister who isn't answering her phone.
Wendy Corduroy: Parents?
Dipper Pines: They work all day. They don't get back until late, and I do not want to spend more than an hour up here.
Soos Ramirez: What about friends, dude?
Dipper Pines: I do not want anybody to see me like this. They'll never let me live it down.
Grunkle Stan: What, you think we will?
Wendy Corduroy: Mr. Pines has a good point—for once.
Grunkle Stan: Don't start with me.
Soos Ramirez: Are you okay, dude?
Grunkle Stan: If he wasn't, he would have said so right away.
Dipper Pines: I was wondering why you answered my message with wicked glee instead of concern.
Grunkle Stan: If you were bleeding to death, you would have called an ambulance instead of sending off a group e-mail. At least I'd hope so.
Soos Ramirez: Hey, I bet the fire department could come help you, hambone.
Dipper Pines: I think I'll keep this face reserved solely for the Gravity Falls newspaper.
Grunkle Stan: Good idea, kiddo. No need to scar all of California with your ugly mug.
Dipper Pines: Who you calling ugly? We share genetics, you know.
Grunkle Stan: I wear them better.
Wendy Corduroy: Trying and failing not to laugh. Where is Mabel, anyway?
Dipper Pines: I'll be darned if I know. I can hear Waddles snorting, so she didn't take him for a walk. Probably went to get some more craft supplies or something.
Grunkle Ford: How are you holding up, Dipper?
Dipper Pines: Grunkle Ford! I'm—
Grunkle Stan: HE'S HANGING IN THERE!
Wendy Corduroy: …
Soos Ramirez: Ha! I get it! That's a good one, Mr. Pines.
Dipper Pines: ...you've been waiting to lay that one down, haven't you?
Grunkle Ford: Hardy-har, Stanley. I tracked your sister's cellphone, Dipper, and she is certainly at the craft store. You can't get a hold of her because she's chatting with Candy right now.
Dipper Pines: Typical. Wait, you can track our phones?
Grunkle Stan: How do you think we're able to sleep at night?
Grunkle Ford: I can cut into her conversation, if you would like.
Dipper Pines: PLEASE. I think there's a bat's nest in the corner and I'm pretty sure I'm going to need a tetanus shot.
A plastic basket of various colourful craft supplies slung over one shoulder, Mabel chatted cheerfully into her phone, eyes roaming the rack of glossy-covered scrapbooks. "—so I can't believe that Loud Lads fired their lead singer. His hair was fantastic, and his voice was heaven! They'll never have anything on Sev'ral Times, of course, but they come a close second, though I don't know how they'll fare now that J.J.J. is gone—"
A static sound suddenly cut through her phone, causing her to halt her rapid-fire speaking to focus on the interruption. "Candy? Are you going through a tunnel or something?"
"Mabel?"
The static disappeared and the deep male voice emitted from her speakers. Bewildered, Mabel stared at her phone for a beat before answering. "Grunkle Ford? Uh, you know I'm always happy to talk to you, but I'm preeeeetty sure I was just talking to Candy."
"I had to cut into your conversation, which I do apologize for. But your brother needs your help and he says he can't get a hold of you."
Heart jumping into her chest, Mabel held her phone tightly to her ear as she asked anxiously, "Is he okay?"
"Yes, yes, he's fine," soothed Ford. "It's just that he had a mishap. He was in the attic looking for something and fell through the floor. He's been stuck for the past twenty minutes or so. He can't pull himself out of the hole."
The mental image of her brother's legs sticking through the ceiling, kicking madly in the air, caused her to giggle. "No way!"
"I assure you that I am not making this up," said Ford, unable to keep the amusement out of his voice.
"I just gotta pay for my things and I'll be right home. Thanks, Grunkle Ford."
"Of course, dear. Talk to you later."
"Love you!"
"Love you too."
Mabel hung up and raced for the line of check-out counters, typing madly on her phone as she went. She shot off a quick text to Candy, promising to pick up their conversation later, before reading through the string of messages attached to her brother's e-mail before responding.
Mabel Pines: I leave you for five minutes and you break our ceiling?
Dipper Pines: MORE LIKE TWENTY MINUTES. Are you coming home or what? I need some help here!
Mabel Pines: I'm coming, I'm coming! I think you can stay stuck for another five minutes.
Grunkle Stan: Take a picture for me, sweetie.
Dipper Pines: NO PICTURES.
Wendy Corduroy: Come on, you'll look back on this later and laugh with the rest of us.
Dipper Pines: Yeah. MUCH later.
Soos Ramirez: I once got stuck in the dumpster behind the Shack.
Wendy Corduroy: That he did.
Grunkle Stan: Multiple times.
Grunkle Ford: Try being stuck in the multiverse.
Grunkle Stan: See, being stuck between your attic and kitchen isn't so bad.
Dipper Pines: Attic and living room, actually. And I've got a loose piece of wood sticking into my butt.
Grunkle Stan: Whoa, too much information.
Grunkle Ford: I'd certainly check to make sure you're up to date on your shots.
Dipper Pines: Definitely.
It was a few minutes later when Mabel barged into her house, keys dangling from one finger and a plastic bag hanging on her arm. "Bro?" she called.
"Mabel! Finally! Get me out of here!"
His voice seemed to come from the direction of the living room. Dropping her stuff on the floor in the entry hall, Mabel entered the living room and immediately found her brother—or at least his legs. There was a mess of plaster and dust on the carpet, and Mabel could not help but snicker. She removed her phone from her pocket and snapped a quick picture.
"That better not have been the sound of you taking a picture," snapped Dipper, his ears picking up on the camera shutter's sound effect.
"Nope," said Mabel innocently.
She stuck her phone in her pocket and hurried up the stairs. The hatch leading to the attic was already pulled down, allowing her to ascend. She gingerly picked her way across the beams, not wanting to end up in a similar situation to her twin.
"How's it hanging, Dipping Dots?"
Dipper glared at her. "I already got that from Grunkle Stan, thanks."
He extended his hands and Mabel grabbed hold. With all her might she pulled, and it took a few tries before she felt Dipper sliding free of the hole he'd been snagged in. With a grunt she yanked him free, stumbling backwards in the process.
Wasting no time, Dipper rushed from the attic, sick of the place. Mabel was quick to follow, watching as stumbled along, legs stiff and numb. "You okay?"
"Yeah, after I slather myself with disinfectant and check on my vaccination history."
"What were you doing in the attic?"
"Looking for my old comic books. Mom cleaned out the basement and relocated them."
"Did you find them?" At the pointed look he shot her, Mabel grinned. "Guess not. You want help cleaning up the mess?"
"Please." Dipper dusted himself off with a grimace. "I'm going to take a shower."
"Don't fall through the floor."
"Oh, shut up."
To: Grunkle Ford (Highsixer); Grunkle Stan (StantheMan); Soos Ramirez (QuestionMarkDude); Wendy Corduroy (Lumberchick); Dipper Pines (GhostHarasserfan)
From: Mabel Pines (ShootingStarRainbowUnicorn)
Subject: Through the ceiling
1 Attachment (Photo file)
I couldn't resist!
Much love,
Mabel
See all messages in this thread (Expand)
Wendy Corduroy: Dang dude, you really do have skinny legs!
Soos Ramirez: Some duct tape will cover that hole right up, man.
Grunkle Ford: Wow, you really did go right through that ceiling.
Grunkle Stan: Oh man, this is gold! Good job, pumpkin! I think I'll frame this one!
Dipper Pines: MABEL!
