Laying there, with him, Blair thought everything might end up working out. Maybe he'd forgive her after this. Maybe he'd let her be there for him like she wanted to.

But she was just dreaming.

She knew when Chuck woke up everything would go back to how it was. Him hating her. So she wanted to stay like this, wrapped around him, for as long as possible. Because she knew it would be over in a flash.

All this pain he was going through was her fault. She knew it now and couldn't stand it. She wished he would let her fix everything. Fix him.

She looked down at his wrist and saw some blood had started to seep through the bandage. She didn't know what to do so she just snuggled closer to him. It just amazed and confused her that he had done this to himself. Blair never thought in a million years that he could be in so much pain because of her.

She lied there for hours, watching him sleep. This was the first time, since she had found out about his attempted suicide, that she felt at peace. Like she could finally rest. But she wouldn't fall asleep. She didn't want this moment to pass quicker. She wanted to remember every second.

Chuck would shift in his sleep ever so slightly. He had wrapped his arm around Blair's waist tightly, like he was making sure she didn't leave. But she wasn't going anywhere.

His face was pale and his mouth was hung open a bit. She wondered if he was dreaming. Who knew. She had never seen him look so at ease, even when he was sleeping. He usually looked stiff and concerned except for when he was trying to get into a girl's pants. Then he looked cool and seductive. Blair smiled a little, remembering all of the things he had ever said to her, trying to get her interested in him. She couldn't remember ever seeing his real smile. Maybe when they were kids, but that was a long time ago.

She thought it was strange that it had taken her around seventeen years for her to realize that Chuck was the one she wanted to be with. Not Nate. But she was with Nate now so it she guessed it didn't really matter if she wanted to be with Chuck. But he had always been there and she never realized it. She wished she had discovered the love she had for him sooner. It would've been different if it was sooner.

Blair didn't know how long they had been like that now. She wasn't keeping track of time.

The door slowly creaked open, "Miss?" A woman whispered.

Blair tried to turn her head as best she could towards the lady but it was hard because of Chuck's hold on her and her arms around his neck.

"Excuse me, miss, but visiting hours are over." She kept her whisper seeing that Chuck was sleeping.

"But I'm-I'm his-I'm his sister." She stuttered trying to think of something. She wanted to stay longer and knew they would only let family be there after visiting hours.

"Really? I didn't know Mr. Bass had any other sisters besides Serena Van der Woodsen." The woman came further into the room.

Blair mentally kicked herself. Of course they'd know Chuck didn't have any real sisters. They probably knew everything about him. "Okay I'm not his sister. I'm his…girlfriend." She hoped the lady would believe her. She wished that statement was true. She had wanted for a long time to be able to call herself Chuck Bass's girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, but you're not family so you can't stay."

"Please, I haven't seen him in a really long time." She looked at the woman then back at Chuck, he was still asleep.

"Then you can come back in the morning."

The problem was she didn't know if Chuck would want to see her in the morning. He was like that when he was going through something tough. One moment he would be crying in her arms and the next he would be leaving her and skipping town. But this time he wouldn't be leaving town. He would just refuse to see her. "Yeah. Okay. I'll come back…in the morning."

Blair didn't know when she would see him again, but had a feeling it wouldn't be soon. She stroked his cheek again and ran her fingers through his soft hair. And planted her lips on his cheek. He still didn't wake up. She tried to take his arm from her waist as carefully as possible. He grumbled and moved into a different position so he was laying on his back now instead of his side. Finally his arm was off and she wriggled the rest of the way out of the covers and off the bed.

"Can I just leave him a note really quick, so he'll know why I left?" She was standing close the woman now, who she assumed was a nurse.

"Yes, of course." The nurse then exited the room.

She wrote some words down on a piece of paper she had found in the drawer on one of the bedside tables. She wasn't sure what to say so she tried as best as she could.

She walked over and set the paper on the table at the side where he was laying. She bent down and kissed his cheek softly one more time then slowly left the room, still not wanting to leave him.

Chuck squinted his eyes open. He didn't remember falling asleep or even getting in bed. By trying to sit up he put pressure on his arm. The pain made him wince and take it off the bed immediately.

Now he remembered.

He'd been stupid enough to think that putting himself in pain again would make the thoughts of her stop. But it didn't. Instead it made them worse. Blair had actually come.

He held his left wrist in his right hand. There was a large blood stain on the gauze wrapped around it. It hurt like hell, but he tried to ignore it.

Where the hell was Blair? He asked himself.

He looked around the room quickly. She wasn't there anymore. It almost seemed as if he had dreamt her there. Just a figment of his imagination. But a piece of paper caught his eye on the table beside him. He quickly reached for it.

Chuck,

Sorry I couldn't stay. I really wanted to, but they told me visiting hours were over. I'm going to come back in the morning. I hope you will see me.

Please get your wrist stitched up again. I'm sorry for everything.

See you soon.

Love,

Blair

So he hadn't imagined it. She had really come. She had really seen him in pain like that and held him in her arms.

And she was coming back. This is just fucking fantastic, Chuck cursed himself.

Blair paced around her kitchen. It was 8:15...in the morning. She was going to the Ostroff Center again, soon. She said she would come back in the morning.

She felt like she should bring him something. Like food. He probably hadn't had good food in awhile. Cookies? No, Chuck wasn't the type of guy you brought cookies to. Cake? No, pretty much the same as cookies. Sandwiches? No, it was still morning. She doubted he would want sandwiches. What he would want was scotch and cigarettes. But she couldn't bring him that.

She continued to walk around the kitchen nervously. She was extremely anxious to see Chuck again. She hoped they could talk this time. But if he didn't want to that was fine with her. She just wanted to see him.

"Blair? Are you here?"

Nate! Why was he here? "Yeah! I'm in the kitchen!" She called back to him.

She tried to stop her pacing and stand still at the island in the center of the room.

Nate walked in and kissed her on the forehead, "Hey."

"Hey, what's up? Why are you here?" She asked trying her best not to sound defensive.

"Can't I just come to see you?" He stroked her hair a little bit.

"Yeah. I just wasn't expecting you." She didn't look directly at him.

"So do you want to do something today?"

"Umm…" Blair hesitated, "I'm actually busy today."

"Why? What are you doing?"

"I'm going to see Chuck."

"What? Blair, c'mon, do you really think he's gonna want to see you?" He looked at her in a pitying way.

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to see him." She snapped at him.

"Okay, I just think it will be a mistake."

"Why?"

"Well I went to see him a few days ago and he wasn't to pleased about it."

"What?! You went to see him and you didn't tell me?"

"Yeah, and like I said, he wasn't happy to see his best friend so why would he be happy to see you?"

"Because he loves me." She said almost smugly. She wanted to put him in his place for talking to her like that.

"Really? Since when?" Nate crossed his arms over his chest.

"For a long time!" Why was he being rude to her like this? She asked herself.

"And how do you know this?"

Blair wanted to scream at Nate and tell him because he had tried to kill himself because he couldn't have her, but she didn't. She also wanted to tell him about his suicide note and how he had said I love you in it, but she didn't think Nate dissevered to read it so she didn't mention it. "Because. I just know." This time it wasn't smug, more like hurt.

He sighed, "I just don't think you should go see him."

"Well too bad!"

"God, Blair, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you, Nate?" Blair asked rudely. She was mad, he didn't need to talk to her like that. Or ask all the questions about Chuck loving her. She knew he loved her. She just knew it.

"What are you talking about? You're the one acting strange." Nate defended himself.

"I don't have time for this. I need to get ready." She turned her back to him.

"Fine. I'll talk to you later."

"Fine."

And with that he disappeared from her penthouse.

Blair was now irritated and wanted to see Chuck even more. She hurried upstairs to make herself more beautiful than she already was. She wanted to look flawless. Perfect. She hoped it would make her irresistible. Nate was her boyfriend and she wasn't planning on seducing Chuck or anything. She just thought she might be easier to forgive if she was stunningly gorgeous. It was always hard for Chuck to resist her.

She rushed into her room and started fixing her hair more and touching up her make up.

"We're going to watch this again?" Chuck grumbled.

Serena, Nate, and him were all sitting on Blair's bed waiting for her to join them. This was a regular routine for the sixth graders.

"Yes, Chuck! Breakfast at Tiffany's is my favorite movie! And I hope you never forget it!" She stopped putting the movie in and turned to look at him.

"Oh, I won't 'cause I know every single line of the whole damn movie!"

"Well, if you have a problem with it you can leave."

"Fine, I will." Chuck jumped off her bed and started for the door. He was much shorter then, the same height as Blair.

"Chuck, man, don't leave." Nate said to him.

"Blair!" Serena whispered to her.

"What? He can leave if he wants." Blair looked at Serena then at Chuck.

"Yeah, Nate. She's right. I can. I have much more interesting things to do." Chuck glared at her.

"Or girls." She put her hands on her hips and glared back at him.

Even when they were young they were each other's best opponents.

"Nice one." He said sarcastically and left her room.

"Blair!" Serena yelled at her.

"What?!"

"Come on, Blair. Lighten up." Nate said.

"Excuse me?"

"You didn't have to get so mad at him." He told her.

"Yeah, go after him." Serena chimed in again.

"Ugh. You guys are annoying." They just stared back at her trying to make her feel guilty. She didn't feel the least bit guilty, but she wanted to please her boyfriend. "Fine! My god!" She stormed out of her room and down the stairs. Chuck was already at the elevator.

"Wait, Chuck. Don't go." But she didn't sound like she really meant it.

"Oh don't sound to disappointed that I'm leaving, Blair, or Nathaniel might start to think you have a thing for me."

"You're an ass."

"This isn't breaking news to me."

"Well are you going to come back upstairs or not?"

"No, I don't want to get in the way of what the precious princess wants. And you don't want me to come up."

"I'm the precious princess?"

"Who else would I be talking about?"

"Whatever, I do want you to come back up so come on."

"And why would you want that?"

"'Cause Nate wants you to come back." Blair played with her long brown hair, looking like she didn't care about Chuck at all.

"Well you're all about making sure he's happy aren't you?"

"Why are you so mad?" Blair didn't understand why he was in such a pissy mood. Possibly on his period, she laughed to herself.

"I'm not mad! Just…tell Nate I'll see him tomorrow or whatever, okay?" Chuck pressed the button to call the elevator.

"Fine. But they're gonna be mad at me."

"What? Why?" He had a confused look on his face.

"Because I didn't get you to come back." She started pouting.

"Umm, well…I just feel like going home. Tell them I wasn't mad at you or anything." The pout was getting to him, she could tell.

"Please come back up stairs, Chuck. We don't have to watch Breakfast at Tiffany's. We can watch what you want."

"I'm not that fond of movies anyways, and you're kinda freaking me out." He looked at her strangely.

"Why?" She suddenly got offended.

"Because you're never nice to me." They had been friends forever, but they never were the type of friends that were nice to each other.

"Please, that wasn't being nice. That was just trying to get you to come back upstairs. If I was being nice I would've complemented you on your disgusting hair or something."

"Oh, thanks."

"Ugh. Just come on!" Blair grabbed his arm and pulled him all the way up the stairs.

She sort of smiled at the memory, they were always a bit dramatic when they were younger. But the still were, weren't they?

She looked at herself one last time in the mirror. She was satisfied by her appearance and skipped out of her room and down the stairs. She contemplated bringing him something again, but decided it would be best of she didn't. Then she left the penthouse in a hurry, she wanted to get there as soon as possible so she didn't want to call a town car and wait. Instead she just caught a cab.

The whole ride there she nervously fidgeted with her dress.

Chuck sat, bored, in one of the chairs that was by the window that showed into the hallway. The blinds were almost closed, though, so he couldn't see out. It was almost 9:00 and he was surprised Blair wasn't here yet. He had decided that the least he could do was talk to her for a few minutes, then she could leave, satisfied that she got to see him. And that would be it, he assured himself.

There was a light knock at the door and he perked his head up. Before he had a chance to say anything or open it, Blair opened and closed the door.

He gulped.

She was blindingly beautiful.

He didn't remember her looking that good last night! But he had been a little out of it.

"Hey…" She said softly and stepped towards him.

"Hey." He stood up from the chair.

Chuck stared at her face a minute. He hadn't seen her for awhile, apart from last night. And, again, last night he was kind of out of it. Her brown hair hung down in soft curls and stopped right above her breasts. God, her breasts, he thought. He tried not to stare for very long.

They stood there, awkwardly for a minute, then Blair rushed over to him and threw her arms around him. He didn't move for a second, because she took him by surprise, then he wrapped his arms around the petite girl. He could feel every part of her body pressed up against him. Her smell was driving him mad.

She lifted up her head and looked into his eyes. He stared back at her. He wanted to know what she was thinking. Her eyes were the same dark brown. He had missed them. He moved his eyes quickly, trying to read her face. Figure out what she was doing.

Then Blair grabbed onto his hair and pulled his head down and put her lips onto his. Almost involuntarily, Chuck slipped his tongue into her mouth. He couldn't help but kiss her back. She stood up on the tips of her toes so she could get a better angle and tried to get her tongue further in his mouth. She gripped his hair tightly, but he couldn't notice over the pain of his wrist. But he didn't even notice that. He was focused on her. He grabbed her hips and thrust her closer to him violently. Her hands moved down to his neck. Her hands were incredibly soft, most likely from dozens of lotion applications a day. She unbuttoned the top of his shirt and slid her hands under it. Feeling his shoulders, he bit her bottom lip. Then she ran the tips of her finger over his chest, feeling the hair on it.

Chuck wanted nothing more than to throw her on the bed and take all her clothes off and that's what Blair wanted too, but he had to stop. He pulled his lips away from hers, but she started kissing his neck and jaw. He closed his eyes and they basically rolled into the back of his head. Her tongue on his skin made his mind go blank. He wanted her so bad.

But he had to focus. Focus, Chuck, focus. He told himself.

"Stop, Blair." He grabbed her by the shoulders and yanked her off, "Stop."

"What?" She was confused and kind of hurt.

"Are you still with Nate?" It was less of a question and more of an accusation.

"Yes." She hung her head and looked at the floor then looked back up at him. She wished she had lied and said no because of the angry expression on Chuck's face.

"Then leave." He pointed towards the door. He couldn't believe she had come in here, kissed him, and was still with Nate.

"No, Chuck, please. I'm sorry." She pleaded and put her arms on his shoulders and then put them around his neck.

He turned his head towards the window so he wasn't looking at her. "You're such a slut." He heard his voice crack.

"You're just saying that 'cause you're mad, you don't really mean it." She grew even more hurt.

"But it still hurts doesn't it?" He still didn't look at her.

"Why won't you just forgive me?" She knew that was a dumb question. He wouldn't forgive her because she had hurt him to badly, she knew that.

"Because you're with Nate and he doesn't even care about you!" He took her arms from around his neck and shoved her away lightly.

"If he doesn't care about me, then why did we get back together?!" She didn't know why she was yelling at him, she wanted him to forgive her. She shouldn't be yelling.

"Because he always has to have a girlfriend! Always! He's had a girlfriend his whole life! He probably broke up with Vanessa and you were his last resort."

Blair quickly smacked him across the face, "I was not his last resort." She said.

"Fine. Whatever helps you sleep at night."

"I sleep just fine!" It was a lie, she barley slept at all these days.

"Oh, that's right, I forgot you were heartless."

"I'm heartless?! What about you?!" She wanted to smack him again.

"Just leave, Blair." He gritted his teeth.

"Get your wrist stitched back up." She demanded not in a sweet manner and turned towards the door.

"No." He said back as she reached for the doorknob.

"Fine. I'll just tell one of the nurses then." She opened the door.

"Fuck you."

"You'll only dream of fucking me now." Then Blair slammed the door shut.

Chuck didn't have to look through the window to know she had walked up to one of the nurses and told them what he had done to his wrist.

He wanted to break something. Hurt someone. Smash Nathaniel's face in with mallet and make Blair watch.

He sat down on the bed forcefully. He wanted to scream so loud. But all he could work up the energy to do was pick up a pillow and throw it at the wall.

Blair sobbed in the cab as it took her home. Her hand was shaking as she reached into her purse and pulled out her cell phone. She tried to catch breaths through the sobs as she dialed some numbers slowly. She put the phone up to her ear and listened to three rings before the phone on the other end was answered.

"Hello?"

"Nate? Can you meet me at my house?" The tears were rolling down her neck.

"Blair? Are you okay?" Nate's voice became concerned.

"Can you come to my house?" She didn't answer his question, she just wanted him to answer hers.

"Yeah. Of course. I'll be there as soon as I can."

Without saying another word or goodbye, Blair hung up the phone and slid it back into her purse.